Alexis Ren ON: Breaking Negative Cycles and Letting Go of the Lies We Tell Ourselves

1. 0:00 – 2:33

   Intro

   1. ARAlexis Ren0:00

      It was Mother's Day 2014. My mom collapsed on the floor. We didn't know what was wrong with her. Me and my sister was like, "I don't know what's wrong with her." We got my mom to the hospital, and the next day they were like, "She has terminal cancer. She's gonna die in, like, a couple days." And we were like, "What?"

   2. JSJay Shetty0:17

      [upbeat music] Hey, everyone. Welcome back to On Purpose, the number one health podcast in the world. Thanks to each and every single one of you that come back every week to listen, learn, and grow. I am so grateful to all of you that lend us your ears and your eyes every single week, because you're making this possible. Our On Purpose community is amazing, and community is something at the heart of what we're going to be speaking about today. Now, today's guest is someone that I've been connecting with, messaging with, for maybe the last three years now, and we've been dying to be sitting in the same room so we can actually have this conversation. I can't tell you how excited I am, and I've been talking to her for literally just a few moments, and I'm already excited for you. I'm talking about none other than actress and entrepreneur Alexis Ren. Alexis, thanks for being here.

   3. ARAlexis Ren1:14

      Thank you so much. That was so cool hearing that. [laughs]

   4. JSJay Shetty1:16

      [laughs]

   5. ARAlexis Ren1:16

      And then being here, like sitting in this chair with you and listening to that introduction. I'm so honored to be here.

   6. JSJay Shetty1:22

      Aw.

   7. ARAlexis Ren1:22

      Actually, I've been thinking about it this whole week. Like, I've looked... Literally from, like, 18 up until now, I've looked up to you, and the people that you've attracted into your life, and then to be one of those people you've attracted, my heart's like... [laughs]

   8. JSJay Shetty1:38

      You're-

   9. ARAlexis Ren1:38

      Yeah, thank you

   10. JSJay Shetty1:39

       ... that is so sweet, honestly, because when I found out that you- y- you were gonna come on the podcast, and that we connected, and I wanted you to come on. The fact that you wanted to come on, to me it was amazing, honestly, because we, we used to live in the same building.

   11. ARAlexis Ren1:53

       Yes.

   12. JSJay Shetty1:54

       And we used to bump into each other in the gym all the time, and you used to bump into my wife in the-

   13. ARAlexis Ren1:57

       I'd just be like...

   14. JSJay Shetty1:58

       Yeah. [laughs]

   15. ARAlexis Ren1:59

       [laughs] You... Like, "Hi. I love you."

   16. JSJay Shetty2:02

       [laughs] Oh, it is sweet. And li- and you used to bump into my wife in the elevator all the time.

   17. ARAlexis Ren2:06

       Yeah. I was like, "Nice sweater." [laughs]

   18. JSJay Shetty2:08

       Yeah. And, and you just, you know, I've also been following your journey, and you probably didn't even know that.

   19. ARAlexis Ren2:13

       No, I did-

   20. JSJay Shetty2:13

       [laughs]

   21. ARAlexis Ren2:13

       ... no idea. [laughs]

   22. JSJay Shetty2:14

       And I'd been following your journey, and I've been so, honestly, and I mean this from the bottom of my heart, been so blown away by your activism and advocacy for mental health awareness.

   23. ARAlexis Ren2:24

       Thank you.

   24. JSJay Shetty2:24

       Your work for women's empowerment. Uh, the beautiful community that you just launched last year-

   25. ARAlexis Ren2:30

       Yeah

   26. JSJay Shetty2:30

       ... called We Are Warriors, which we're gonna talk about today.

   27. ARAlexis Ren2:32

       Yes.

2. 2:33 – 3:46

   There are so many live we want to live

   1. JSJay Shetty2:33

      Like, your work is so beyond what many know.

   2. ARAlexis Ren2:37

      Yeah.

   3. JSJay Shetty2:37

      And I'm so glad that I get to sit down to help you share that story, because I really think that, and, and I felt it only today, you just have this amazing energy a- that surrounds you wherever you go. And so I want you to know that.

   4. ARAlexis Ren2:51

      Thank you so much.

   5. JSJay Shetty2:52

      [laughs]

   6. ARAlexis Ren2:52

      I feel like I, um, one of the things I do is I, like, spread myself, like, very thin, 'cause I feel like, um, I'm sure a lot of people can relate to this, there's like so many different lives I wanna live, that I just dabble and then I don't give like a... Um, this year I've been like, "Let's just focus on one thing at a time." [laughs]

   7. JSJay Shetty3:08

      [laughs]

   8. ARAlexis Ren3:08

      Like, that's kinda like what my team is saying, and so I'm like, I'm, I'm focusing on one thing at a time, but it's, there's a, like, as you know, as if you've been following my journey, I've have just so many different passions and loves. And I also like, like, there's just so much to fix here.

   9. JSJay Shetty3:22

      [laughs]

   10. ARAlexis Ren3:23

       Like, to, I'm just, I'm like, oh my God, like the second I was like, looked around, 'cause you know how like you're kinda in your head and then at one point you're just like, ah, like your like early 20s like, whoa. I was like, if you don't, if you don't feel you have a purpose, I can point out five, like right, like there is so much that like just needs service and help. And, um, I, when I first y-

3. 3:46 – 6:01

   Learning all the aspects of a healthy relationship

   1. ARAlexis Ren3:46

      I almost felt paralyzed when I like first saw how many... Well, one like on the mental health aspect, just like, uh, our relationship with our parents and like how that stems and how we just continue this weird cycle and how can I help break these cycles so we can create like new beliefs, new patterns, and help heal, especially for females in general 'cause we've been suppressed, but just in all aspects of what are healthy relationships, what is normal? 'Cause the normal we've been living is not healthy, so what is the new normal, right? So just like going into those subjects. And then of course like I'm like, Earth, oh no.

   2. JSJay Shetty4:19

      [laughs]

   3. ARAlexis Ren4:19

      I didn't even know. I'm so sorry. And like going into like plastic, the plastic, plastic pandemic and like, uh, and then learning the d- like how the thing that has blessed me so much, social media, has actually been hurting so many people and, and that I've, the, the, the girls that have been following me, and it like broke my heart just c- like there's just so many things that broke my heart and those, it almost like when my heart brokened, I was like, well, there's a path, and then I just would keep like p- going through those things. And, and then I, you know, I grew up as a model and that was like all I knew, and so my self-worth was very much on like, well, I'm pretty, and that's, that's my offering. Like I'm pretty. And so I felt very, um, scared 'cause I was like, I wanna just like reach my hand out, out of this box that I've been in. Um, and there was a lot of back, you know, people being like, "Why does she have anything to say about any of these topics?" But I was like, "Can we all just talk about them then so like it's okay?" 'Cause there's, there's just a lot. Um, and then that's, I, I would just, it was almost like I would just like step, kind of like a, a mermaid coming out to like, you know-

   4. JSJay Shetty5:22

      [laughs]

   5. ARAlexis Ren5:22

      ... just like stepping, like I can-

   6. JSJay Shetty5:23

      [laughs]

   7. ARAlexis Ren5:24

      ... I can turn into hu- I can speak on different things.

   8. JSJay Shetty5:27

      [laughs]

   9. ARAlexis Ren5:27

      And so just finding my way through the puzz- my, my godsister always says this, and I believe it, she says, "There's no problem, only puzzle pieces," and like just-

   10. JSJay Shetty5:36

       Mm

   11. ARAlexis Ren5:36

       ... trying to figure out what goes where, that's been like a series of the last couple of years. Been very interesting. [laughs]

   12. JSJay Shetty5:42

       I love that. We're gonna talk about each and every one of those-

   13. ARAlexis Ren5:45

       Yeah. [laughs] I'm like, oh

   14. JSJay Shetty5:45

       ... because you've just shared so much with us. And, and I wanna thank you for just your vulnerability across the whole time. Like, you've always never been scared of just diving into what your heart cares about.

   15. ARAlexis Ren5:57

       Mm-hmm.

   16. JSJay Shetty5:57

       And I think that's beautiful to see. But let's start with

4. 6:01 – 10:37

   Going deep into your own creativity at a young age

   1. JSJay Shetty6:01

      What was Alexis's first passion ever? When was the first-

   2. ARAlexis Ren6:05

      Yeah

   3. JSJay Shetty6:05

      ... time you felt that passion, that interest, that curiosity about something-

   4. ARAlexis Ren6:10

      I think I-

   5. JSJay Shetty6:11

      ... back to when you were tiny, like whatever age you wanna go to.

   6. ARAlexis Ren6:14

      Yeah, I mean, so I was homeschooled my entire life. I've never set foot in a classroom and so that really gave me the opportunity to just like go deep into like my own creativity. Um, and you know, it was r- it was the three, three girls all being homeschooled, so there was a lot to handle, my mom, superwoman.

   7. JSJay Shetty6:28

      Are you the eldest or the youngest?

   8. ARAlexis Ren6:29

      I'm the middle child.

   9. JSJay Shetty6:30

      And your parents decided to do this with three girls?

   10. ARAlexis Ren6:32

       My mom.

   11. JSJay Shetty6:33

       Okay.

   12. ARAlexis Ren6:33

       My dad was like, "Okay." [laughs]

   13. JSJay Shetty6:35

       [laughs]

   14. ARAlexis Ren6:35

       My mom was like, "I'm doing this." Um, she was very, um, I feel like the term woke is very much overused, but she, back then, like I mean, she homeschooled herself through colle- It was very, very different back then and it was just not, um, accepted. I spent so much time being in front of the camera, like creating music videos, like it was all I wanted to do and because I didn't, I wasn't around, the only people I was around were the people that accepted me, I just went full force into whatever creative thing I was doing and it was really interesting because my mom, she was obsessed with being like, "What are you interested? And then we'll learn subjects based off of that subject." So for instance, I fell in love with ballet. That was my fir- I would say that was my first passion and she was like, "Hey, we're gonna learn history through ballet." And so there was just this like, um, desire to learn that I was just super accustomed to and so when I would talk to my friends being like, "Oh, you're going to school. What are you learning?" And they would just like roll their eyes and like hate it and I didn't understand that 'cause I was like, "That's what we're here to do is learn."

   15. JSJay Shetty7:38

       [laughs]

   16. ARAlexis Ren7:38

       Like, and it's fun and it's like so exciting. So I was very blessed to have that kind of an upbringing. Um-

   17. JSJay Shetty7:44

       Your mom's genius

   18. ARAlexis Ren7:45

       ... and my mom, oh my God-

   19. JSJay Shetty7:45

       That's amazing

   20. ARAlexis Ren7:46

       ... the, the longer, the more in my adult life I, I'm getting, I'm just like, "My mom was so aware." Like it's cr- and, and I, I'm like living, we'll, we'll get to that part, but like I'm, I'm living for her now as well 'cause everything that sh- all of her beliefs I'm fulfilling and like hopefully just like carrying it on, carrying her legacy. But with ballet it was, it was a love at first, you know, 'cause you're a little girl and you're like, "I'm gonna dance on the cardboard box"

   21. JSJay Shetty8:12

       [laughs]

   22. ARAlexis Ren8:12

       And like I would like perform little things for my mom.

   23. JSJay Shetty8:15

       Is that the ballerina voice?

   24. ARAlexis Ren8:17

       Yeah. I don't know what voice that is.

   25. JSJay Shetty8:19

       [laughs]

   26. ARAlexis Ren8:19

       You're gonna hear that voice a lot.

   27. JSJay Shetty8:20

       It's brilliant. Yeah, I've been hearing it like in our conversation.

   28. ARAlexis Ren8:22

       [laughs] I think I have.

   29. JSJay Shetty8:22

       I love it. It's great.

   30. ARAlexis Ren8:23

       So I don't know where it comes from, but, [laughs] um, and so my mom was like, "Okay, you wanna do this? You wanna do ballet?" So I studied for tw- 15 years. I'm still studying now, so I would say now 24 years now I've been studying.
5. 10:37 – 12:12

   Scouted for modelling at 14

   1. ARAlexis Ren10:37

      right at that moment where I was like, "I don't think that ballet is for me on the level that I wanted," modeling I was scouted like literally like within a year and a half before I quit ballet and then that was a new path that I was like, "I can do this? Like I can smile and like, uh, you know, like I can, this is really fun." And I remember, um, I got signed first time [laughs] , first paycheck I was-

   2. JSJay Shetty11:02

      How old were you when you got scouted signed?

   3. ARAlexis Ren11:02

      I f- 14.

   4. JSJay Shetty11:03

      Wow.

   5. ARAlexis Ren11:04

      14 and it was like 15 was around the time I quit ballet. Yeah, it was like 15 and then my agency was like, "So do you wanna go live in Tokyo for six months to a year by yourself?" I was like, "Sure." [laughs] Like my mom was like, "Well, I raised you so sure," you know?

   6. JSJay Shetty11:20

      [laughs]

   7. ARAlexis Ren11:20

      Like, "If I can't trust you then I don't trust myself." And just like gives you an idea of how, how amazing of a mother w- she was.

   8. JSJay Shetty11:27

      Mm.

   9. ARAlexis Ren11:27

      So it was like it almost went, I just to, to, to bring this all back around, my passions, I grew up so quickly from all of my pa- it was just like con- you're an adult world, you're an adult world, you're living on your own, you're an adult world. So by the time I was 16 I was, I already felt like I was-

   10. JSJay Shetty11:43

       An adult

   11. ARAlexis Ren11:43

       ... an adult.

   12. JSJay Shetty11:44

       Yeah.

   13. ARAlexis Ren11:44

       An adult and it, and it felt amazing. I was like, "Mom-

   14. JSJay Shetty11:49

       [laughs]

   15. ARAlexis Ren11:49

       ... everything's amazing." Like I'm doing, I'm doing all the things that you want. Like here's a new dishwasher, like here y- I got you. Like whatever and so it, I felt on top of the world around 16. I was like finally got my li- like it, it just was working out so beautifully. I was working every day. And I was like, and not to go through my whole life story, but this is kind of an important-

   16. JSJay Shetty12:08

       Please

   17. ARAlexis Ren12:08

       ... um, story moment. Um-

   18. JSJay Shetty12:10

       We're here for it

6. 12:12 – 15:03

   When her mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer

   1. ARAlexis Ren12:12

      ... when, I think it was Mother's Day 2014, my mom collapsed on the floor and I was, like, very con- I didn't, we didn't know what was wrong with her. Me and my sister was like, "I don't know what's wrong with her." We got my mom to the hospital and the next day they were like, "She has terminal cancer. She's gonna die in, like, a couple days." And we were like, "What?" And, like, I think anyone knows, like, especially females with their mothers, like, she was my first reflection, so like I, I didn't understand, I mean, you j- you don't understand death at the, that age. You're just like, "I'm too close to beginning of life-

   2. JSJay Shetty12:50

      Mm

   3. ARAlexis Ren12:50

      ... to understand death," and that was crazy. So I think that almost, 'cause she, she ended up passing away, well, she refused all cancer treatment. She's holistic. She was a health, holistic health nutritionist, so she, like, refused everything. Everyone was like, "You're not going through chemo?" And she was like, "That's gonna kill everything in me."

   4. JSJay Shetty13:05

      [laughs]

   5. ARAlexis Ren13:05

      Like, no. Which I, I, I love her for that. She was just so powerful and she was so stuck on her beliefs and, I mean, they said she was only gonna live two weeks. She ended up living another, like, six to eight months.

   6. JSJay Shetty13:17

      Wow.

   7. ARAlexis Ren13:17

      So that's like, I, I was like, "I gotta give it to you, Mom."

   8. JSJay Shetty13:20

      Yeah.

   9. ARAlexis Ren13:20

      Like, that, that's amazing. Um, and so I kind of, I got to learn how to live life without her while she was still there almost, 'cause she was, like, in bed. Um, but I didn't, I didn't quite understand how much I would lose myself from losing her, and that was, like, I think, it was, like, on top of the, the, the people-pleasing aspect in each of my s- each steps in my career and then losing that reflection of just everything I wanted to be. I almost had to, like, start again.

   10. JSJay Shetty13:53

       Mm.

   11. ARAlexis Ren13:53

       It was weird. I, I still remember, like, being in my, um, car parking lot just, like, having this whole breakdown being like, "I have no idea who I am anymore. Like, this is crazy." Um, and so yeah. [laughs] It, I just, like, went on a rant tangent, but that was, like, I think a defining moment in, like, one, who I wanted to be, two, uh, how I wanted to serve, and then three, um, how, like, how could I br- how do I break the boxes that people put me in?

   12. JSJay Shetty14:24

       Mm-hmm.

   13. ARAlexis Ren14:24

       'Cause my mom was so good at breaking boxes. She was like, "Oh, you think college is the only way? Nope." Like, "Oh, you think, like, Western medicine's the only way? Nope."

   14. JSJay Shetty14:33

       [laughs]

   15. ARAlexis Ren14:33

       Like, and so it was just that inspired me to, like, go down all of the paths that I'm currently now creating, so it was, like, crazy. Sorry, that was a really long tangent.

   16. JSJay Shetty14:42

       No, it wasn't at all. Thank you so much for-

   17. ARAlexis Ren14:43

       Yeah

   18. JSJay Shetty14:43

       ... sharing that. Like, thank you for, thank you for sharing that, honestly.

   19. ARAlexis Ren14:46

       I'm like, ah, what's coming out of my mouth?

   20. JSJay Shetty14:47

       It's-

   21. ARAlexis Ren14:47

       I don't know.

   22. JSJay Shetty14:48

       [laughs] Because at, at 14, you know, you're obviously not making sense of it in that way. At 14 it's, it is the most heartbreaking thing that can happen to anyone at any age.

   23. ARAlexis Ren14:58

       Yeah, crazy.

   24. JSJay Shetty14:58

       But to have it at such a young age, and defining age, and then losing

7. 15:03 – 19:48

   Financial independence and the social media attention

   1. JSJay Shetty15:03

      yourself, where do you think that took you at that time? Today it's obviously taken you to some beautiful, wonderful things, which we'll get onto, but at that time you've mentioned the people-pleasing mentality a few times. It comes from trying to impress your ballet teacher. Where does that then take you? And how does that affect your modeling-

   2. ARAlexis Ren15:22

      So-

   3. JSJay Shetty15:22

      ... because that's the next stage, right?

   4. ARAlexis Ren15:24

      Yeah, I think with the people-pleasing thing, it's almost like turning it around and being like, "Now how can I harness this for myself?" Right? Because I know how hard I work. Now, can I not work for that p- can I work for me?

   5. JSJay Shetty15:35

      Mm.

   6. ARAlexis Ren15:35

      So, like, that was, like, the switch. Um, and I've always found, and I was literally talking about this last night, [laughs] but I, I kind of, I believe and I hope I can state this correctly, but how low you go is how high you'll go.

   7. JSJay Shetty15:48

      Mm.

   8. ARAlexis Ren15:49

      And I, I keep seeing that in-

   9. JSJay Shetty15:50

      Mm

   10. ARAlexis Ren15:50

       ... life. Like, if I'm, whenever, like, I hit, like, a low, like, just patch, I'm just like, "God, you owe me."

   11. JSJay Shetty15:57

       [laughs]

   12. ARAlexis Ren15:57

       Like, what you gonna do to, like, make this up?

   13. JSJay Shetty15:59

       [laughs]

   14. ARAlexis Ren16:00

       Like, let's go. And then of course it, like, it'll launch me into a next path. So at the time I didn't realize that, but I do think, like, the reas- like, going through the passing of my mom and everything was, I literally just looked, it's her wedding ring. But, um-

   15. JSJay Shetty16:11

       Aw

   16. ARAlexis Ren16:12

       ... the, it was the reason I got launched into such, like, a, a fast, like, blessed, like, completely blessed life was because he was like, "Okay, [laughs] just wait. I got, I got you. Like, I got you." And now I can almost, like, with everything, with everything I've done and, like, especially with We Are Warriors, like, that community was the manifestat- like, that's something my mom would have created, right? 'Cause when I went on, 'cause it was modeling and then social media started coming up and I just remember photos of me when I was very, very young, 15, going viral on the internet, and I didn't understand it. And I was working full time as a model. I didn't really understand what was going on.

   17. JSJay Shetty16:51

       Tell us about that experience.

   18. ARAlexis Ren16:52

       Yeah, that was, that was cra- I mean, I was, I was just so happy. I was just so, I was like, "I'm working e-com nine hours a day-"

   19. JSJay Shetty16:59

       [laughs]

   20. ARAlexis Ren17:00

       "... finance high bag." Like, I was just, like, I was living a d- like, my dream 'cause I was financially independent, I could help my mom out, like, everything was going amazing, and then on top of it, I was getting this, like, this, this attention that I never thought I would get. And so there was, it, it was, I think, 2013 or '14, and then 2015 hit and, and that was interesting 'cause I had to, I, I went through my mom passing, like, publicly, so that was, like, I think the first understanding that the second you share your vulnerabilities it's almost like it's setting you free. That's why I'm so, I always, whenever I go on interviews I'm just like, "Can I think new thoughts here? 'Cause I would like that."

   21. JSJay Shetty17:38

       Yes, yes.

   22. ARAlexis Ren17:38

       I love thinking new thoughts.

   23. JSJay Shetty17:39

       Yes.

   24. ARAlexis Ren17:39

       I don't, I don't like repeating, you know? I hate preparation.

   25. JSJay Shetty17:43

       Yes.

   26. ARAlexis Ren17:43

       It, like, scares me. I'm just like, "No."

   27. JSJay Shetty17:44

       [laughs]

   28. ARAlexis Ren17:44

       "It's gonna ruin whatever's meant to happen." [laughs]

   29. JSJay Shetty17:46

       I so agree. I, I say that all the time. I, and I hope, I hope I help you do that today, but that's the same for me. If I'm ever being interviewed, I'm like, "I wanna say stuff that I've never said before."

   30. ARAlexis Ren17:55

       Exactly.
8. 19:48 – 20:39

   First time playing a character

   1. ARAlexis Ren19:48

      It, it was my first time a- uh, I don't wanna say it was my first time acting, but it was my first time playing a role and I was like, "This is interesting because I feel a lot of pressure to be this perfect thing all the time," when in fact I was actually the complete opposite and that's why I ma- I, I manifested this, this character I was playing online because I wanted to be her so bad 'cause I was a wreck. And, and I, I came to a moment where like the relationship wasn't going well, um, the traveling was too much on my body 'cause we were going, we would spend like three days in one place and then hop around. Like, it was just like the most insane, filled up a passport in like two years. So it was a lot on my body as well. And I just remember it was my body that gave out first. And I've always, my mom always told me to listen to my, body test myself, always say my name over again until I can hear myself again. Like, all of those things she's taught me, but I forgot all of it. I threw ev- all of her knowledge, all of her wisdom away.

9. 20:39 – 24:49

   Keep saying your name until you hear your voice drop back into your identity

   1. JSJay Shetty20:39

      Tell us some of those things. Walk us through some-

   2. ARAlexis Ren20:41

      Yeah

   3. JSJay Shetty20:41

      ... of those that you let go of because I think they'd be really powerful for people listening.

   4. ARAlexis Ren20:43

      Yeah. Okay. So one of the things that she always, whenever I would hang out with a friend, um, I would come home and she'd be like, "Are you there?" I was like, "What do you mean?" And she was like, "You sound like Sophia. Are you on Sophia's identity right now? Say, say your name." And so I would say, "Alexis." And she's like, "Say your se- full name." So I'd say my full name. And I'd keep saying it until I'd f- I'd hear my voice drop, like back into my identity, and then she'd body test me and she'd be like, she'd say, "I am Alexis," and I'd, she'd push me down and my, um, it just kept getting stronger. I do this with supplements as well.

   5. JSJay Shetty21:16

      Yes.

   6. ARAlexis Ren21:16

      When I'm holding a supplement, I'll hold it down and press it down to see if my body reci- like likes it or whatever it is. Um, she would, she was a firm... I [laughs] she would, um, play The Secret in the minivan whenever we'd like [laughs]

   7. JSJay Shetty21:31

      [laughs]

   8. ARAlexis Ren21:31

      ... go on our errands. And I'm just like, "What is this?" [laughs]

   9. JSJay Shetty21:34

      [laughs]

   10. ARAlexis Ren21:34

       "I don't understand." And she'd be like, "We have magic, honey." And I was like, "What?"

   11. JSJay Shetty21:38

       Yeah.

   12. ARAlexis Ren21:38

       And so I was like, "I wanna manifest something," and, you know, at the ti- you know, I'm like 12 being like, "I wanna manifest a red ball."

   13. JSJay Shetty21:43

       [laughs]

   14. ARAlexis Ren21:43

       And so I like spent three weeks trying to manifest this red ball. This is still like my favorite manifestation story ever.

   15. JSJay Shetty21:50

       [laughs]

   16. ARAlexis Ren21:50

       But like [laughs] I still think it's like my best accomplishment in manifestation [laughs]

   17. JSJay Shetty21:54

       [laughs]

   18. ARAlexis Ren21:54

       ... 'cause it was so like specific. I knew exactly what it felt. I knew what it looked like. I didn't know where it was gonna be, but I just knew I was gonna find it, and three, four weeks later, I found it at the park and I was just like, "Mom." I like freaked out and I was like, "Mom, this is the ball."

   19. JSJay Shetty22:06

       [laughs]

   20. ARAlexis Ren22:06

       She was like, "What ball?" [laughs] I was like, "The ball I thought in my head when you said that we have magic powers." Um, so that was like-

   21. JSJay Shetty22:12

       [laughs]

   22. ARAlexis Ren22:12

       That was weird. Um-

   23. JSJay Shetty22:13

       I love that

   24. ARAlexis Ren22:14

       ... so yeah, it was like a-

   25. JSJay Shetty22:15

       That's awesome

   26. ARAlexis Ren22:15

       ... she was always just planting these like seeds of, she would never tell me what it was. She would just have me question whether or not that felt good to me.

   27. JSJay Shetty22:26

       Mm-hmm.

   28. ARAlexis Ren22:26

       Like, the, the truth itself. She was like, "D- how do you feel about us having, you know, powers beyond just our hands?" And I was like, "That sounds amazing."

   29. JSJay Shetty22:34

       Yeah.

   30. ARAlexis Ren22:34

       And she was like, "All right. Well, then that could be a possibility. Like, why don't you try, like, why don't we-
10. 24:49 – 29:14

    Taking a break from Hollywood

    1. ARAlexis Ren24:49

       and then at the same time, I was like, "I wanna go deep into this modeling thing." Like, "I wanna do, I wanna do this. I wanna finally do what I've always wanted to do." I felt like I got sidetracked with so much traveling and it was exhausting me, and I felt like I was living in someone else's dream. Like, I wanted to do this. And so I went deep into modeling, and I was, like, super excited. I did Sports Illustrated and, like, all these amazing things. Um, but there was... But my mental health was getting worse, and I was like, "What is happening? I don't under-" Like, Alexis, I almost felt, like, embarrassed. I was like, "Wha- Alexis, everything is happening. Why are you a, a wreck?" Like, I, I was trying to hide it constantly with even my closest-

    2. JSJay Shetty25:26

       Mm

    3. ARAlexis Ren25:26

       ... friends, 'cause I was like, "This doesn't make sense and this is, like, actually ridiculous and I'm being dramatic, so I need to stop." Um, to the point where my god-sister, Ally, um [laughs] Ally.

    4. JSJay Shetty25:40

       Hey, Ally.

    5. ARAlexis Ren25:40

       Ah, Ally. Um, she was like, "I think you..." Uh, she was like, "You need to come to Hawaii. You need to come to Hawaii, and you need to get out of Hollywood. You just need to, like, get out of this thing that's so attracted to the essence of you that is not all of you. Like, I want you to fall in love with all of you." And so I went to Hawaii and actually lived there for nine months, and that was when I really went, like, it was so hard. Like, self-healing is not fun.

    6. JSJay Shetty26:11

       No.

    7. ARAlexis Ren26:11

       It is not. No, everyone-

    8. JSJay Shetty26:13

       [laughs]

    9. ARAlexis Ren26:13

       Everyone's like, "The Five Minute Journal, like, how do you feel today?"

    10. JSJay Shetty26:16

        Yeah.

    11. ARAlexis Ren26:16

        "Great." Like, no.

    12. JSJay Shetty26:17

        No, yeah.

    13. ARAlexis Ren26:17

        Like, I'm just like, wow, I ended up falling in love with poetry 'cause I would just, like, get so deep into, one, the pain, that I would almost find, I would get a high... This is weird. I'm sure artists and poets know this, but, like, you get, like, a high off of, like, f- seeing some, a pain in you that can be told in a way that everyone can... And you're just like-

    14. JSJay Shetty26:40

        Yes

    15. ARAlexis Ren26:40

        ... "What?"

    16. JSJay Shetty26:41

        Yes.

    17. ARAlexis Ren26:41

        "What?" Like, and so I, I just, like, wrote, and I was, like, in the jungle. I would just spend all day meditating. Like, we, my sister would make me, like, go to a tree and scream at a tree-

    18. JSJay Shetty26:53

        [laughs]

    19. ARAlexis Ren26:53

        ... and, like, just w- like, just going through the whole thing to almost, like... She, she would, she used the, um, she said, she said to me one time, she was like, "It's like an onion." She was like, "We just have to take off all the layers that were put onto you, like, from literally the moment you got here."

    20. JSJay Shetty27:09

        Mm.

    21. ARAlexis Ren27:09

        She's like, "I'm not just talking about, like, what you think is your trauma." She's like, "I'm talking about everything."

    22. JSJay Shetty27:13

        Mm-hmm.

    23. ARAlexis Ren27:14

        Because no matter what, it's like we get here in life and we're just, like, perfect. We're pure just experience. We're just here for the moment, every- And then slowly but surely, we start getting like, well, this is how we should feel about this. This is how we should feel about this. This is what happens when we do this. This is our idea of love. And, like, it just goes, goes, goes, goes. So we went so deep into the healing to where I almost felt like a clean slate again. And the second that I felt that, Dancing with the Stars called me, and they were like, "You should, [laughs] you should come back to LA." [laughs]

    24. JSJay Shetty27:43

        [laughs]

    25. ARAlexis Ren27:43

        And I was like, "What?"

    26. JSJay Shetty27:44

        It always happens like that.

    27. ARAlexis Ren27:45

        I know. I'm like-

    28. JSJay Shetty27:46

        As soon as you're doing your deepest healing-

    29. ARAlexis Ren27:47

        Yeah. [laughs]

    30. JSJay Shetty27:48

        ... you get this, like, huge opportunity.
11. 29:14 – 31:17

    Self-reflection amidst bullying and trolling

    1. ARAlexis Ren29:14

       more." And-

    2. JSJay Shetty29:14

       Did, did you really feel that, that people would just... You felt that people's response was that that's all you have? Was that very, like-

    3. ARAlexis Ren29:21

       Yeah, I mean-

    4. JSJay Shetty29:21

       Was that, like, a visceral feeling?

    5. ARAlexis Ren29:22

       ... cyberbullying is, like, a real thing. [laughs]

    6. JSJay Shetty29:24

       Yeah.

    7. ARAlexis Ren29:24

       It's really-

    8. JSJay Shetty29:25

       Yeah.

    9. ARAlexis Ren29:25

       It's had me-

    10. JSJay Shetty29:25

        Tell us, tell us about that because I think that you're someone, obviously, who's stood up for so many important causes. Like you're saying now, you've had-

    11. ARAlexis Ren29:33

        Yeah

    12. JSJay Shetty29:33

        ... you know, cyberbullying, trolling, comment sections, whatever it may be. Tell us a bit about what you experienced and then how you found your way through it. And I get that-

    13. ARAlexis Ren29:44

        Yeah

    14. JSJay Shetty29:44

        ... it's an ongoing thing, but-

    15. ARAlexis Ren29:45

        Yeah, no, for sure. I mean, it was, it, it was really helpful when I started to self-reflect 'cause then I could just see the pain that people were inflicting onto me and I was like, it's almost like if you're pretty, you can't be smart, you can't have... 'Cause it's, it's too much, and then you're too much of a threat, and then it's, like, that scares... And it was just like, it made me sad. So at first it, it hurt me 'cause I was like, "They're right." Like, I would believe them. I'd be like, "They're right." Like, I should just, you know, stay in my lane. And then after a while, I was just like, no, the only way, and this is what I've been coming to learn with the community, is, like, the only way I can authentically help you is to be That is, that is, I can't preach to you, I can't teach you, I have to be it

    16. JSJay Shetty30:23

        Mm-hmm

    17. ARAlexis Ren30:23

        And if I want everyone living and knowing that they're multidimensional beings and knowing that they can do so much at the same time, then I have to honor and see that in me, and that's terrifying-

    18. JSJay Shetty30:34

        Yeah

    19. ARAlexis Ren30:34

        ... 'cause then that means I actually have to like stop leaning. 'Cause they were right, I was leaning on this thing of like what society was telling me that I was. And so I almost had to like take off my like training wheels and just be like, "You're on a bike now."

    20. JSJay Shetty30:47

        [laughs]

    21. ARAlexis Ren30:48

        "You're going downhill."

    22. JSJay Shetty30:49

        [laughs]

    23. ARAlexis Ren30:49

        "We have breaks. You've never used them yet, but like this is what we're doing." And that's when I started to figure out like, no, I don't wanna conquer the world, I wanna like help it, and then how, how can I serve? Because I've... Whenever I, I think of my idols and just people who I look up to, you know, when I was younger it was like the Victoria's Secret angels, and now for me it's like my godmother's. Like, oh my God, you guys are in- like actual warriors, like true warriors.

12. 31:17 – 35:09

    Heroes are people that continuously admit why they are not

    1. ARAlexis Ren31:17

       And so-

    2. JSJay Shetty31:17

       Why, why do you think that changes? And, and obviously Victoria's Secrets themselves have gone through a massive evolution-

    3. ARAlexis Ren31:23

       Massive evolution, yeah

    4. JSJay Shetty31:23

       ... recently. Like, but wh- why do you think that changes as you grow older? Because I think that's something that a lot of-

    5. ARAlexis Ren31:30

       Yeah

    6. JSJay Shetty31:30

       ... young adults, teenagers, and then when you become an adult you, you start looking at your family differently, your parents differently, their sacrifice.

    7. ARAlexis Ren31:39

       Well, yeah, 'cause you start to, I feel like you start to just like actually see them. Like you almost-

    8. JSJay Shetty31:42

       Mm-hmm

    9. ARAlexis Ren31:42

       ... come up to like the, oh, like you're not-

    10. JSJay Shetty31:45

        Mm

    11. ARAlexis Ren31:45

        ... just like looking up.

    12. JSJay Shetty31:46

        That's a good explanation.

    13. ARAlexis Ren31:46

        My mom, one of my things my mom implemented in me-

    14. JSJay Shetty31:49

        I like that a lot

    15. ARAlexis Ren31:50

        ... was like you're not... Um, she was like, "I would prefer it if you call your friend's parents' names by their first names. Just like do it and see how they feel." I was like, "What? So I can call him Mark?"

    16. JSJay Shetty32:01

        [laughs]

    17. ARAlexis Ren32:02

        "I don't have to call him Mr. you know, whatever?"

    18. JSJay Shetty32:04

        Yeah.

    19. ARAlexis Ren32:04

        And sh- she's like, she's like, "No, like we're human. Like let's, let's... I want you to be on everyone's terms-

    20. JSJay Shetty32:09

        Mm-hmm

    21. ARAlexis Ren32:09

        ... and I want you to see how that feels." Um, well, I mean, for looking up to Victoria's Secret models, I still think like what they created back in the day was beautiful and it was, it was art, you know? It was just like something to celebrate, and it was a type of woman that we could celebrate. We can celebrate all types of womens. But, um, I think it was more so their energy of like, "I own this space that I'm living in." And it was, it was new to me because I was growing up in a living situation where my mother was very much so like, "Let me just..." She's like... It's like we're the water and she's the tub, and she's like, "Let me just like form to however you guys need." Um, and so it was very much a people pleasing complex of just like I'm going to be everyone's everything and the perfect everything for them-

    22. JSJay Shetty32:56

        Mm-hmm

    23. ARAlexis Ren32:56

        ... which ultimately is the reason why like I think her health declined, 'cause you can't sustain that.

    24. JSJay Shetty33:01

        Yeah.

    25. ARAlexis Ren33:01

        It's unsustainable. Um, and then there was a lot of things that I didn't see within her. So I think for me, heroes are the people that have, are continually admitting why they're not almost, if that makes sense.

    26. JSJay Shetty33:14

        Mm-hmm.

    27. ARAlexis Ren33:15

        Like it's just like, "Oh, no, I..." But not, um, like still being like humble and stuff, but just continuously knowing that there's always something to learn.

    28. JSJay Shetty33:25

        Mm-hmm.

    29. ARAlexis Ren33:26

        There's always something you don't know.

    30. JSJay Shetty33:27

        Mm-hmm.
13. 35:09 – 38:10

    Notes are gold, go make them

    1. ARAlexis Ren35:09

       when I created We Are Warriors, I can just like briefly touch upon this. When I created We-

    2. JSJay Shetty35:13

       Yeah, why don't you?

    3. ARAlexis Ren35:13

       Yeah. I was, I think around 2018, I still have it in my notes, it was really weird. I was like scrolling through my notes one day and I went all the way to like 2017, and it literally said in a sentence, "I wanna create a community that I can talk to and help evolve like once a week." Or, and then also like in all of my like, like intentions of my notes it was like, "I wanna help evolve human consciousness." That was like one of them. And it was just like, whoa, like I had no idea what I was saying. Like notes are powerful, you guys.

    4. JSJay Shetty35:42

       [laughs]

    5. ARAlexis Ren35:42

       Like notes [laughs] on the phone-

    6. JSJay Shetty35:44

       Apple Notes has all the best ideas in the world of anyone in their mind

    7. ARAlexis Ren35:47

       ... I know, you never look back.

    8. JSJay Shetty35:48

       Yeah.

    9. ARAlexis Ren35:48

       You're just like, this is gold-

    10. JSJay Shetty35:49

        Yeah

    11. ARAlexis Ren35:49

        ... and you never look back.

    12. JSJay Shetty35:50

        Yeah.

    13. ARAlexis Ren35:50

        But like when you do, like you guys, after this go through your notes.

    14. JSJay Shetty35:53

        Yeah.

    15. ARAlexis Ren35:53

        Like, like go through your notes.

    16. JSJay Shetty35:54

        [laughs]

    17. ARAlexis Ren35:54

        Like go through your notes.

    18. JSJay Shetty35:55

        I agree.

    19. ARAlexis Ren35:56

        They're crazy-

    20. JSJay Shetty35:57

        Yeah

    21. ARAlexis Ren35:57

        ... 'cause you'll see, one, like things that you manifest that you didn't even realize-

    22. JSJay Shetty36:00

        Mm-hmm

    23. ARAlexis Ren36:00

        ... and then two, just parts of yourself that you're like, "I'm pretty cool."

    24. JSJay Shetty36:02

        [laughs]

    25. ARAlexis Ren36:02

        Like, oh, like I didn't know I said that, you know? Um, so that was like the first, I think, manifestation of the company. And growing up like in the fashion industry, I felt very, um, p- like everyone was like, "You could create this brand" or, "You could create this clothing." And then, but like my, my love for the environment, I was like, "We don't need another bikini bra." Like I just, I, this does not feel in alignment, like this is not... So how can I create something that is meaningful, that does have a promise, but the, but the company itself is the promise?

    26. JSJay Shetty36:35

        Mm-hmm.

    27. ARAlexis Ren36:35

        Like it's not like a brand having a promise.

    28. JSJay Shetty36:37

        Mm-hmm.

    29. ARAlexis Ren36:39

        I knew from being homeschooled that the education system is, mm, you know, I would love to help reconstruct that or take that down completely, but, um [laughs]

    30. JSJay Shetty36:48

        [laughs]
14. 38:10 – 42:02

    Acting is a tool used to either get closer to yourself or farther away from it

    1. ARAlexis Ren38:10

       is very interesting. It's, like, used, it's a tool. It's used to either get closer to yourself or farther away from yourself.

    2. JSJay Shetty38:15

       Mm.

    3. ARAlexis Ren38:15

       And I love the idea of finding myself in characters, 'cause, like, we really are, we're a blank slate and then we build our identities and we're like, "This is me." And so it's like the way Jim Carrey perceives it, I truly do s- perceive it as well. I'm just like, I'm so excited to, like, find new parts of myself in this character, and so I fall in love with it really quickly. And so that's when I was like, "Oh my God, I can't... Why didn't I think of..." S- and so I, I went on to acting and I was so excited and everything was going so well. Um, booked my first film and every- and then everyone was like, "Hey, um, so there's this, uh, thing that's g- people are calling it COVID." I was like, "What is happening?"

    4. JSJay Shetty38:50

       Yeah.

    5. ARAlexis Ren38:50

       And I was on set for my film and everything got shut down. Like, I was in Oklahoma City and e- e- they were like, "We have to shut down everything." I went to New York just to, like, go there for a second. It was a ghost town. It was t- I was like, "I've never seen this." And, and I'm sure everyone knows what I'm talking about, so we don't have to go deep into it, but it was crazy and I was tripped out and I was mortified. And I'm sure a lot, not mortif- I was, I was so s- yeah, mortifi- I was so sad-

    6. JSJay Shetty39:17

       Yeah

    7. ARAlexis Ren39:17

       ... because I'm sure a lot of people felt this, like things were moving and, like, we were, it was, things were moving and girls my age, you know, 21, 22, 23, we're like at our stage where we're, like, young adults and, like-

    8. JSJay Shetty39:30

       Yeah

    9. ARAlexis Ren39:30

       ... we're moving

    10. JSJay Shetty39:30

        ... people were graduating, people were-

    11. ARAlexis Ren39:31

        Yeah, like, things are moving and, like, we're starting to really understand our career and that's truly what I felt and then everything just stopped, and I was so sad. And then at the time I was also going through a breakup, so it was just, like, this horrible, like, I have nothing to distract myself from the pain of this lesson, and then also you have to let go of something that you now have fallen in love with. So it was, like, two things I fell in love with-

    12. JSJay Shetty39:55

        Mm

    13. ARAlexis Ren39:55

        ... that I had to let go of and I was like [gasps] "God."

    14. JSJay Shetty39:58

        Never easy.

    15. ARAlexis Ren39:59

        "God, you owe me." [laughs]

    16. JSJay Shetty39:59

        Yeah. And a global, global pandemic around that. Yeah.

    17. ARAlexis Ren40:02

        Yeah. And then it was like, I was texting my, like, "Are you guys okay?"

    18. JSJay Shetty40:05

        Yeah.

    19. ARAlexis Ren40:05

        Like, "What's going on?" So that was really crazy. And so my godsister, once again, was like, "Hey, you should come to Hawaii. Like, I'm here. I have a house."

    20. JSJay Shetty40:14

        Hawaii is your place.

    21. ARAlexis Ren40:15

        It's, me and, me and Hawaii have such an interesting relationship 'cause she's like, "You ready to come home?"

    22. JSJay Shetty40:21

        [laughs]

    23. ARAlexis Ren40:21

        I'm like, "No, I don't. No. I wanna be here in Hollywood." And she's like, "You need to remember."

    24. JSJay Shetty40:26

        Yeah.

    25. ARAlexis Ren40:26

        I'm like, "No, I don't know." [laughs]

    26. JSJay Shetty40:28

        [laughs]

    27. ARAlexis Ren40:28

        And so it was like that again. And so I felt that happening again.

    28. JSJay Shetty40:32

        Yeah.

    29. ARAlexis Ren40:32

        And I was like, "No, I just went through this in 2000. I don't wanna do, like, a rebirth. Like, I don't wanna, I don't wanna go through any pain," even though I was already in pain and clearly I needed to go-

    30. JSJay Shetty40:40

        Mm-hmm
15. 42:02 – 44:06

    Talking to girls in a live call about traumas

    1. ARAlexis Ren42:02

       I've said this before and I'll, I'll say it again 'cause I believe it so much, we think impact is, like, so much about numbers and views-

    2. JSJay Shetty42:08

       Mm

    3. ARAlexis Ren42:08

       ... and, and if we don't have a million views on this video it wasn't a success or whatever it was.

    4. JSJay Shetty42:14

       Mm-hmm.

    5. ARAlexis Ren42:14

       But in retrospect, that kind of impact does not work at the same of having 30 girls on a live call-

    6. JSJay Shetty42:20

       Yeah

    7. ARAlexis Ren42:20

       ... and I'm talking to them directly about their trauma and their exper- Like, that I know for a fact, and, like, not to get on my, on myself, but, like, it's just so powerful and profound.

    8. JSJay Shetty42:30

       Yeah. It's deep.

    9. ARAlexis Ren42:31

       It's real.

    10. JSJay Shetty42:31

        Yeah. It's depth.

    11. ARAlexis Ren42:32

        Yeah, it's real.

    12. JSJay Shetty42:33

        Yeah.

    13. ARAlexis Ren42:33

        And, like-

    14. JSJay Shetty42:34

        Substance

    15. ARAlexis Ren42:35

        ... I know that my conversations with that girl is going to- ... help them be a better friend, a better mother, a better, like, everything, because I'm helping change their fundamental beliefs and helping them work through their trauma. And so I didn't know that I could even do that. But because I went through my mom, because I went through all these things, I can look at pain as pain-

    16. JSJay Shetty42:56

        Mm-hmm

    17. ARAlexis Ren42:57

        ... and be like, "Now, how do we wanna approach this? What's the story you're telling with the pain, and then what is the actual pain?" And so, like, separating the two and then figuring out how we heal both of them is ve- it's very interesting. And so-

    18. JSJay Shetty43:09

        Yeah

    19. ARAlexis Ren43:09

        ... I felt, um, like there was something there, and so I just slowly started to grow it, I guess.

    20. JSJay Shetty43:14

        Yeah. What I love about that, though, is that I, I think what you just showed there is sometimes you just have to start.

    21. ARAlexis Ren43:20

        Yeah.

    22. JSJay Shetty43:20

        Like, you don't-

    23. ARAlexis Ren43:20

        Do it

    24. JSJay Shetty43:21

        ... you don't know exactly what it's gonna be, but if you really care about it and you're present, it's going to teach you how it needs to evolve.

    25. ARAlexis Ren43:28

        Exactly.

    26. JSJay Shetty43:29

        And now, you know, n- not to talk about numbers, but, but to show how much it's grown, it's like you've got over 3,000 people in over 70 countries.

    27. ARAlexis Ren43:36

        It's crazy.

    28. JSJay Shetty43:36

        And it's amazing.

    29. ARAlexis Ren43:37

        It's amazing.

    30. JSJay Shetty43:37

        Congratulations.
16. 44:06 – 45:10

    If you can just make someone smile, the world will become a better place

    1. ARAlexis Ren44:06

       Yeah, this is what she would've done.

    2. JSJay Shetty44:06

       Tell us about what, what, what you're doing, and you're like, "Oh, this is what my mom would've do-," like, tell us a bit about that.

    3. ARAlexis Ren44:11

       She has taught me that it's not about trying to help a thousand people. It's like, it really... And this is so cheesy, but, like, I keep saying to the girls as well on the live calls, I'm like, "You guys, if you can just make someone smile in an elevator, life will be a lot better." Like, we're at the point where it's just like, let's just enjoy this experience. Like, I know that there's a lot going on, and I understand that, and we need to help where we can, but we're all suffering, and so we should look at that. Like, suffering is, like, what we connect on.

    4. JSJay Shetty44:37

       Mm-hmm.

    5. ARAlexis Ren44:38

       And so then how can we break through, like, the, the, the, the veil? Like-

    6. JSJay Shetty44:42

       Mm

    7. ARAlexis Ren44:42

       ... if I can just, like, crack a joke and make someone laugh, like, almost, like, break the character of, like, I'm just the guy delivering food, like, that's so healing.

    8. JSJay Shetty44:52

       Yeah.

    9. ARAlexis Ren44:52

       And it's like having an honest... It's like you're fueling people up. So it's almost like you can be chargers for these people. Like, you can. And so I am being chargers to the girls so that they can go out and then be chargers for everyone else. And so that's one of the things my mom imple- and she was the best listener on the planet.

    10. JSJay Shetty45:09

        Tell

17. 45:10 – 52:02

    We Are Warriors is an educational and personal wellness community

    1. JSJay Shetty45:10

       us about the community more. Like, tell me a bit about, like-

    2. ARAlexis Ren45:12

       Yeah

    3. JSJay Shetty45:12

       ... you know, what are, what are the ways in which We Are Warriors is helping the community? What kind of-

    4. ARAlexis Ren45:17

       Yeah

    5. JSJay Shetty45:17

       ... sessions do you have online? What are the kind of themes and topics? What are the format and structure? Because I'd love for our listeners to get involved.

    6. ARAlexis Ren45:23

       Yeah.

    7. JSJay Shetty45:24

       And I'd love for them to have an opportunity to hear about it from you.

    8. ARAlexis Ren45:27

       Yeah. So, um, We Are Warriors, it's like a educational/personal wellness community. So I think communities are, are the future of social media, or at least I hope so, because then it's like a group of people having a common goal that they can accomplish together. And I, I think, like, communities with goals is, like, a very powerful thing, and that's what I've been seeing. Um, and even being homeschooled, I was in a community of homeschooling, homeschoolers, so it was just, like, very powerful. [laughs] So We Are Warriors, it's a set of different challenges each month. I like the idea of challenges because it gives us a finish goal, like a finish-

    9. JSJay Shetty46:00

       Mm-hmm

    10. ARAlexis Ren46:00

        ... finish line. Um, and it's exciting. And so for instance, like, last month... And we, we tackle different subjects as well. That was one of the things, because when I think personal wellness, I think there's, like, a 365-degree approach. Um, and I do think fitness is a huge thing for girls, just having the motivation. Like, fitness is, like... Keeping up with my routine and my body has been the reason I am who I am today, and I understand that, but we, like, we think of it as vapid.

    11. JSJay Shetty46:25

        Yeah.

    12. ARAlexis Ren46:25

        We don't think of it-

    13. JSJay Shetty46:25

        Agreed

    14. ARAlexis Ren46:26

        ... but, like, it actually creates, it, it m- sets up the day for me.

    15. JSJay Shetty46:31

        Mm-hmm.

    16. ARAlexis Ren46:32

        And so creating a community where the girls could do that together was very special. So but then I wanted to, like, expand on that. So, like, in April, we had, um, Nicole Lapin for the finance challenge to talk about, like, taxes and stuff.

    17. JSJay Shetty46:44

        Mm-hmm.

    18. ARAlexis Ren46:44

        So I wanted to, I just wanted to take girls through courses that I know will help them-

    19. JSJay Shetty46:49

        Mm-hmm

    20. ARAlexis Ren46:49

        ... that are actually gonna help them.

    21. JSJay Shetty46:50

        Yeah.

    22. ARAlexis Ren46:51

        And it's almost like I- filling the gaps of the education system. Like, whether it is talking about, like, we'll have a whole month on mental health. We have, um, right now we're in beauty month right now, where I have, like, one of the top skincare g- women in the world, and she's, like, here having live calls with these girls, talking to them and coaching through them. And then for me, I can tackle more of, like, the spiritual aspect of, like, well, why is this manifesting on your cheek?

    23. JSJay Shetty47:13

        Mm-hmm.

    24. ARAlexis Ren47:13

        Let's look at that. And, like, having those deeper conversations where we can really tackle every essence, 'cause I realized it was, like, it doesn't matter if you work out every day, 'cause if you hate yourself, it, the, it's just, it's almost like there's a huge wall in between you and your goal.

    25. JSJay Shetty47:28

        Yeah.

    26. ARAlexis Ren47:28

        And so it has to be both. There, it has, you have to have the manifestation with the physical action. Um, and so I'm just, right now I'm just testing that with different subjects. Um, we, I wanna have an environmental month where we have, like, different people come on to talk about things that are going on in the planet. Um, not overwhelming, 'cause not something too overwhelming, 'cause what happened to me, [laughs] I went deep into, uh, the plastic pandemic and I almost got paralyzed. Like [laughs]

    27. JSJay Shetty47:54

        Tell us, tell us about that. Like, how, how can you get so involved in something that it actually paralyzes you?

    28. ARAlexis Ren47:59

        Because it's just that bad. Like, if you... I read, I think, over 10 books in the course of a couple months about plastic and kind of like what's happening and how we're basically finding it in pregnant lady in their placentas now because the microplastics, and we eat a credit card a week.

    29. JSJay Shetty48:14

        Wow.

    30. ARAlexis Ren48:14

        And, like, it's, it's, it's so scary that it almost, it just, like, it par- I, I didn't know... I c- I couldn't even be me. I couldn't even be happy, 'cause all I saw was that. I was like, "Okay, well, maybe that's not the approach," because what happens is, like, you paralyze and then you just wanna forget about it. And so I w- I wanna, like, slowly, like, ease them in, not so much about the facts, 'cause the facts are really hard to take in. Yes, we'll talk about facts, but it's more of like what can you, what are the little things that we can do?
18. 52:02 – 53:38

    When you get lost in your role and forget your purpose

    1. JSJay Shetty52:02

       But I fully agree with you that it's, you can't think that, oh, no, but your purpose is just to do this, or your purpose is just to look out, look after the home. Or your purpose, even as a, whoever the role is, doesn't matter what gender you are, but the idea of, oh, your purpose is just to make money for the house.

    2. ARAlexis Ren52:17

       Mm-hmm.

    3. JSJay Shetty52:17

       Like, that's not a purpose.

    4. ARAlexis Ren52:19

       No.

    5. JSJay Shetty52:19

       Like, we all have so much more to do.

    6. ARAlexis Ren52:21

       Exactly.

    7. JSJay Shetty52:21

       So I love that you brought that up.

    8. ARAlexis Ren52:22

       It's, it's insane.

    9. JSJay Shetty52:23

       Because you get lost in your role.

    10. ARAlexis Ren52:24

        Yeah, you, you, you get lost in your roles. That's like a real thing.

    11. JSJay Shetty52:28

        Yeah.

    12. ARAlexis Ren52:28

        And that's what I'm learning from acting as well. I was like, "Don't get lost in your roles." Like, don't do that. Like [laughs]

    13. JSJay Shetty52:32

        I've, I've heard people do method acting that have actually lost relationships in the real world because of that.

    14. ARAlexis Ren52:38

        Yeah, mm-hmm.

    15. JSJay Shetty52:39

        And so-

    16. ARAlexis Ren52:40

        Yeah

    17. JSJay Shetty52:40

        ... when I hear that, I'm like, "Wow."

    18. ARAlexis Ren52:41

        Mm, exact- well, it's a, it's a great example of h- what we do in real life as well.

    19. JSJay Shetty52:46

        Yeah, yeah.

    20. ARAlexis Ren52:47

        Um, because I do think, like at some point with like a long-term relationship or friendship, whatever it is, it's like you choose-

    21. JSJay Shetty52:55

        Mm-hmm

    22. ARAlexis Ren52:55

        ... to have them come with you.

    23. JSJay Shetty52:57

        Mm-hmm.

    24. ARAlexis Ren52:57

        And if you're not choosing that, then the relationship didn't work, not because, it was like you didn't bring them along, or they didn't, or you didn't see where they were going and wanted to come with them. It is as much as like we love the butterflies and we love all that, this is a team partnership.

    25. JSJay Shetty53:12

        Yes.

    26. ARAlexis Ren53:12

        Like if you go, we go.

    27. JSJay Shetty53:14

        Yes. [laughs]

    28. ARAlexis Ren53:14

        You know?

    29. JSJay Shetty53:15

        Yeah, yeah.

    30. ARAlexis Ren53:15

        Like we go, and so-
19. 53:38 – 56:44

    The public is creating characters for you in any public relationship

    1. ARAlexis Ren53:38

       been learning recently, like in the last couple of years, especially with like going through like so many public relationships and having that be... Oh, God, public relationships are terrifying. Oh my God.

    2. JSJay Shetty53:51

       Yeah.

    3. ARAlexis Ren53:51

       After, I was like, "I'm good" [laughs] after, after my last public relationship. I was like, "I'm good. I'm so good. I'm gonna just be me in my own little world."

    4. JSJay Shetty54:01

       [laughs]

    5. ARAlexis Ren54:01

       No one gets to know.

    6. JSJay Shetty54:02

       [laughs]

    7. ARAlexis Ren54:02

       Um, because not only are you creating roles in the relationship, but now you have the public-

    8. JSJay Shetty54:10

       Mm-hmm

    9. ARAlexis Ren54:10

       ... creating characters of the people that you are.

    10. JSJay Shetty54:13

        Mm-hmm.

    11. ARAlexis Ren54:13

        So it's like you're fighting, like y- you're, it's like you're having conversations with like four different versions of the person you're dating, and you're like-

    12. JSJay Shetty54:20

        Yeah

    13. ARAlexis Ren54:20

        ... "Oh my God," like so-

    14. JSJay Shetty54:21

        And half of them aren't even real.

    15. ARAlexis Ren54:23

        I know. [laughs]

    16. JSJay Shetty54:23

        Yeah. [laughs]

    17. ARAlexis Ren54:24

        I was like, it's like a foggy mirror.

    18. JSJay Shetty54:26

        Yeah.

    19. ARAlexis Ren54:26

        You're just like, "Hello?" Um, so that's been really interesting. And then I always feel that relationships are the best reflection as to where you are, right? 'Cause they're just like-

    20. JSJay Shetty54:36

        Mm-hmm

    21. ARAlexis Ren54:36

        ... I'm just your walking reflection right now.

    22. JSJay Shetty54:38

        Mm-hmm.

    23. ARAlexis Ren54:38

        That's why we're in this together, right? So I, I always get excited when I, 'cause I'm starting to just meet s- so many amazing people, and I think that's like what I've been learning as well, is just like there's no, there's no villain anymore.

    24. JSJay Shetty54:51

        Mm-hmm.

    25. ARAlexis Ren54:51

        It's like we can stay together, or we can leave in good faith, in good heart, and like it's just, it's not... You know in high school you're just like, "They broke my heart. What?"

    26. JSJay Shetty55:01

        [laughs]

    27. ARAlexis Ren55:02

        Um, now it's just like, all good. Like you, you did me a service by leaving because you were being disservice to me and you for staying 'cause you didn't feel.

    28. JSJay Shetty55:12

        Yeah.

    29. ARAlexis Ren55:12

        So it's like at the end of the day, it's all perfect. Like what can I... It's all perfect.

    30. JSJay Shetty55:16

        Yeah.
20. 56:44 – 1:00:48

    Seeing heartbreaks as growing pains

    1. ARAlexis Ren56:44

       and reality, it's... I always, at this point with heartbreaks, they're... I don't see it as heartbreak anymore. I see it as growing pains.

    2. JSJay Shetty56:53

       Mm.

    3. ARAlexis Ren56:54

       And that's sometimes even worse 'cause you're just like, "I was ha- I was good."

    4. JSJay Shetty56:57

       [laughs]

    5. ARAlexis Ren56:57

       "I was good with just this. Like, I didn't, I didn't... I don't wanna grow. Like, I'm good. Like, I'm tired."

    6. JSJay Shetty57:02

       [laughs]

    7. ARAlexis Ren57:02

       "I just wanna, like, watch Netflix and chill. Like, I don't wanna evolve anymore," even though I, like, just got here in retrospect.

    8. JSJay Shetty57:09

       [laughs]

    9. ARAlexis Ren57:09

       But, like, it's still... And so if I look at it as growing pains-

    10. JSJay Shetty57:13

        Mm

    11. ARAlexis Ren57:13

        ... and then, you know, as... 'Cause we're all artists. We're all artists. And so what I'll do now, and it's actually so intoxicating, is I'll create, I'll write poetry, I'll write music based off of the experience. I mean, we know all of the biggest artists in the world are like, "Let me tell you about my heartbreak."

    12. JSJay Shetty57:31

        Mm-hmm.

    13. ARAlexis Ren57:32

        And then they get, they blow up because of that, and I'm just like, "That's in all of us."

    14. JSJay Shetty57:38

        Mm-hmm.

    15. ARAlexis Ren57:38

        And so every single time that I have a new experience of heartbreak or it just not working out, whatever it is, I'm like, "There is sh- there is gold in this pain. There's gold in this pain, and I cannot wait to get it out."

    16. JSJay Shetty57:49

        Yeah.

    17. ARAlexis Ren57:49

        I'm just like, "Woo."

    18. JSJay Shetty57:50

        [laughs]

    19. ARAlexis Ren57:51

        So I get ex- I get this weird... Like, I get heartbroken, then I get really excited. So and it goes back and forth. It's almost, um... And I always, I always tell people, I'm like, "When someone leaves your life, it's okay to feel like you're grieving a death-

    20. JSJay Shetty58:04

        Mm-hmm

    21. ARAlexis Ren58:04

        ... because the character that they played in your life is not there anymore."

    22. JSJay Shetty58:08

        Mm-hmm.

    23. ARAlexis Ren58:08

        "And so you are grieving someone that's no longer there. Like, you are..." Like, when I get broken up with with someone I truly love, and I'm crying and I'm in that space, it is very similar pain to when I lost my mom. And so, like, I always reach... When a- anytime, like, my girlfriend comes to me and she's, like, crying, sobbing, I'm just like, "This shit is valid. Don't worry. Like, feel it. Like, feel it because you lost a character that you thought was in this season, but it's not. And, like, you thought he was gonna be your season finale. He's not. But it's all good. There's a season 60, there's a season 40. Like, you know, there's so many seasons in your life." So it's just coming back to, "Oh, so if h- if he wasn't meant to be here, then what I attracted was m- more parts of myself." M- I became more me because he came into my life, and that is the biggest blessing I could have ever asked for. Like, I am a product of everyone that I've dated, and I've, and I've found, I've fallen in love with them. And then those parts that I fall in love with, I've, like, b- I c- I, like, I took them for myself.

    24. JSJay Shetty59:12

        Mm-hmm.

    25. ARAlexis Ren59:12

        And so I almost... I'm getting to the point now where I don't grieve it anymore because I'm like, "Well, the person that I was in love with, I became."

    26. JSJay Shetty59:21

        Mm-hmm.

    27. ARAlexis Ren59:21

        And so that's so interesting how they never-

    28. JSJay Shetty59:23

        Even if that person wasn't them.

    29. ARAlexis Ren59:25

        No. And I-

    30. JSJay Shetty59:25

        The parts that you thought you fell in love with
21. 1:00:48 – 1:03:39

    None of our struggles won’t last forever

    1. ARAlexis Ren1:00:48

       tell myself, I'm like, "Whether this company stays, whether it does- that's not the point."

    2. JSJay Shetty1:00:51

       Mm.

    3. ARAlexis Ren1:00:51

       "That was never the point." The point is, is I've helped, I would say over now, like, 10,000 girls.

    4. JSJay Shetty1:00:56

       Mm-hmm.

    5. ARAlexis Ren1:00:57

       Truly, like, actually helped them, like, speaking to them, talking to them one on one, and that I will carry with me, they will carry with them. Like, that's good enough.

    6. JSJay Shetty1:01:07

       Mm-hmm.

    7. ARAlexis Ren1:01:08

       So it's like, it's almost like this is good enough. It's okay.

    8. JSJay Shetty1:01:10

       Absolutely.

    9. ARAlexis Ren1:01:10

       It doesn't have to last forever. None of these things have to last forever. I feel like we're so in, in companies in general, even though this is a community, but, like, companies, it's like we're so thirsty to just be the monopoly, and I'm like, "No."

    10. JSJay Shetty1:01:22

        Yeah.

    11. ARAlexis Ren1:01:22

        What, what is this world gonna look like if we're all trying to be monopolies? We can't.

    12. JSJay Shetty1:01:25

        Yeah.

    13. ARAlexis Ren1:01:26

        Like, d- are you good? Are you safe? You have a roof over your head and you can host people? Like- You're good.

    14. JSJay Shetty1:01:31

        Yeah.

    15. ARAlexis Ren1:01:31

        You're good. Like, let's... Now how can we return the fav- and d- and do more? And it's like, so I- that's kind of where I'm at with We Are Warriors is like it will continue and it's gonna be amazing, but the impact is already there.

    16. JSJay Shetty1:01:45

        Mm-hmm.

    17. ARAlexis Ren1:01:45

        And I'm so honored to like do, have that impact-

    18. JSJay Shetty1:01:48

        Yeah

    19. ARAlexis Ren1:01:48

        ... on them, you know?

    20. JSJay Shetty1:01:49

        Yeah.

    21. ARAlexis Ren1:01:49

        It's just 'cause it's so real.

    22. JSJay Shetty1:01:50

        No, you sh- I'm so glad that you're owning that-

    23. ARAlexis Ren1:01:52

        Yeah. I'm like-

    24. JSJay Shetty1:01:53

        ... and accepting that because I, I couldn't agree with you more. I think we're fascinated with longevity and lasting till the end, and even in relationships you stretch it out far longer than it needs to be-

    25. ARAlexis Ren1:02:03

        Yeah

    26. JSJay Shetty1:02:03

        ... just because we think end means failure.

    27. ARAlexis Ren1:02:06

        Failure, exactly.

    28. JSJay Shetty1:02:07

        And, and you're so spot on that the impact, the end is insignificant really. It's, it's all about what's happening right now-

    29. ARAlexis Ren1:02:14

        Right now

    30. JSJay Shetty1:02:14

        ... in this place right today.
22. 1:03:39 – 1:06:15

    Your greatest connection to the other side are the people you lost

    1. ARAlexis Ren1:03:39

       such a deep connection to the other side because we have that person on the other side. And so I utilize that as much as I can.

    2. JSJay Shetty1:03:45

       Mm-hmm.

    3. ARAlexis Ren1:03:45

       And whenever I forget, um, I just like... I'm like, "How can I remember? How can I remember?" I think that's where I am right now. I just, I, I will, um... It's always the environment too. So like I'll choose incense, I'll make lights, candles, and I'll just sit down and I'll remember. Like, whether that's just sitting in silence, it's helping me remember, but or just writing until something else comes out, that's what it- or talking to a friend about it. Like, I, I think I'm at... And I think we're all at that point where it's not, it's not so much you're uni- learning something new, it's almost you're just remembering what was already there-

    4. JSJay Shetty1:04:19

       Mm-hmm

    5. ARAlexis Ren1:04:19

       ... on top of everything else-

    6. JSJay Shetty1:04:20

       Mm-hmm

    7. ARAlexis Ren1:04:21

       ... per what my sister said about the onions and just unraveling it. And so, um, it's constantly coming back to that. But like I still, you know, I still suffer. Like, we all suffer.

    8. JSJay Shetty1:04:30

       [laughs]

    9. ARAlexis Ren1:04:30

       Like, it's all good. It's all good. It's all good.

    10. JSJay Shetty1:04:32

        Definitely.

    11. ARAlexis Ren1:04:33

        Yeah.

    12. JSJay Shetty1:04:33

        How, how have you got through that? You know, you talked about this earlier, and I think you've experienced this. Like, you've... And, and I love what you said because we were, we were connecting on this beforehand, and I, I sometimes feel the same way because I thought I was going to be a monk, and that's literally what I built up. So before that I had so many passions, but my parenting was ignore the passion, do the safe thing.

    13. ARAlexis Ren1:04:57

        Mm-hmm.

    14. JSJay Shetty1:04:57

        And so my passions were music, my passions were spoken word, and my passion was philosophy.

    15. ARAlexis Ren1:05:03

        Do you still write spoken word?

    16. JSJay Shetty1:05:04

        I do. I do. Yeah.

    17. ARAlexis Ren1:05:05

        [laughs] I wanna hear some.

    18. JSJay Shetty1:05:06

        It's, it's such a passion for me, and I feel like a lot of my videos and a lot of my content is still wordplay and, and has so much... I still use this spoken word in a different way today.

    19. ARAlexis Ren1:05:16

        Exactly.

    20. JSJay Shetty1:05:17

        And so that's so much a part of my life, but it was like, do the safe thing, and so I was studying business, and I thought I'd be an investment banker or a consultant or whatever, any of that stuff, and then I became a monk. That became my dream. And-

    21. ARAlexis Ren1:05:29

        Like, mom, dad. [laughs]

    22. JSJay Shetty1:05:30

        Yeah, literally. Like, from all of that to that. But even letting go of that, I would say I'm most myself in what I do today.

    23. ARAlexis Ren1:05:37

        Yeah.

    24. JSJay Shetty1:05:38

        And being a monk was part of that, but it's not all of me.

    25. ARAlexis Ren1:05:41

        Mm-hmm.

    26. JSJay Shetty1:05:42

        And being in media-

    27. ARAlexis Ren1:05:43

        Which is what's it all about

    28. JSJay Shetty1:05:43

        ... which is what I am now, is not all of me.

    29. ARAlexis Ren1:05:45

        Yeah.

    30. JSJay Shetty1:05:45

        It's a part of me. And then being in the world of business was a part of me. It's not all of me. And I think you are so right that we limit ourselves. We feel society limiting us, and we feel we have to choose to be one thing.
23. 1:06:15 – 1:08:09

    The things that weren’t meant to be is serving what’s meant to be

    1. ARAlexis Ren1:06:15

       single thing, and I, and I will say this with absolute certainty, like, every single thing that any of you g- guys have been doing-

    2. JSJay Shetty1:06:22

       Mm

    3. ARAlexis Ren1:06:22

       ... that you feel like was the thing and then it's not, it is serving-

    4. JSJay Shetty1:06:26

       Yes

    5. ARAlexis Ren1:06:27

       ... what your thing is. Like, ballet, I spent literally 20, almost 20 years, every day, four, five, six hours a day, I would be on point, and my feet still hurt. You know? [laughs]

    6. JSJay Shetty1:06:36

       Yeah.

    7. ARAlexis Ren1:06:37

       Like, it's just like, but because of that, it's translated into storytelling. I know how to use my body.

    8. JSJay Shetty1:06:43

       Mm-hmm.

    9. ARAlexis Ren1:06:43

       My work ethic is insane. I understand, I know how to take direction. There is s- I know how to feel when I move. Like, it is literally serviced me in everything I've done, and so it's just, it's almost just like being okay with-

    10. JSJay Shetty1:06:56

        Mm-hmm

    11. ARAlexis Ren1:06:57

        ... letting it go, but then you don't actually let it go. It's always there.

    12. JSJay Shetty1:07:00

        Mm-hmm.

    13. ARAlexis Ren1:07:00

        That's the thing. It's like it's always there serving you.

    14. JSJay Shetty1:07:03

        Yeah.

    15. ARAlexis Ren1:07:03

        Um, and so that's, that's how I feel with pretty much everything I do. My mom said, another thing my mom said is like, she goes, um, "Just be passionately curious."

    16. JSJay Shetty1:07:12

        Mm-hmm.

    17. ARAlexis Ren1:07:12

        Because put so much pressure on us, so my mom would always just be like, "Just be curious."

    18. JSJay Shetty1:07:17

        Mm-hmm.

    19. ARAlexis Ren1:07:17

        Like, just like follow your curiosities, and if, if it doesn't lead you anywhere, just be like, "Oh, well that was interesting," and then go over here. And so that's, that's what I do. And, like, given I, I do, I still of course have big dreams, but like I let my curiosity take me.

    20. JSJay Shetty1:07:31

        Mm-hmm.

    21. ARAlexis Ren1:07:31

        Like, and I don't... The, the big dream is not the goal. It's like the little moments that get up to it.

    22. JSJay Shetty1:07:38

        Yeah.

    23. ARAlexis Ren1:07:38

        Right? Right? So, like, when I'm- When I'm having a director meeting and I'm, like, talking to them about a role or whatever it is, it's like my intention in that call is to make the director feel good, not to get the part.

    24. JSJay Shetty1:07:49

        Mm-hmm.

    25. ARAlexis Ren1:07:49

        And so just, like, having those little indirect of, like, the curiosity-

    26. JSJay Shetty1:07:52

        Wow, that's such-

    27. ARAlexis Ren1:07:52

        ... of just like-

    28. JSJay Shetty1:07:52

        ... a huge thing you just dropped. Yeah

    29. ARAlexis Ren1:07:54

        ... you have to, you have to.

    30. JSJay Shetty1:07:54

        That's a huge thing.
24. 1:08:09 – 1:14:16

    An intention on something before you do it is powerful

    1. ARAlexis Ren1:08:09

       we have an intention 24/7 with every sing- every single thing we do. We just, like, sometimes we're aware of it, sometimes we're not.

    2. JSJay Shetty1:08:15

       Mm-hmm.

    3. ARAlexis Ren1:08:15

       And so when you can put an attention, an intention on something before you do it, it's, it's crazy how powerful it is. So it's like I always make sure because at the end of the day, and this is kind of what we're all looking for, I think even more so than the diploma, than the thing, and the, the degree, is someone that we connect to.

    4. JSJay Shetty1:08:34

       Mm-hmm.

    5. ARAlexis Ren1:08:34

       Someone that we feel close to, someone that we almost feel like we've already met before. Like, that essence comes from the intention of making that person feel connected.

    6. JSJay Shetty1:08:44

       Mm-hmm.

    7. ARAlexis Ren1:08:45

       Not from, "I hope I'm right for this, I hope I'm this." And so, like, I, whenever I hire for my company, that's my intention.

    8. JSJay Shetty1:08:52

       Mm-hmm.

    9. ARAlexis Ren1:08:52

       I was like, I don't really, I don't care where you went to college. [laughs] Like-

    10. JSJay Shetty1:08:55

        Yeah, yeah, of course

    11. ARAlexis Ren1:08:55

        ... why would I care? [laughs]

    12. JSJay Shetty1:08:56

        Of course, yeah.

    13. ARAlexis Ren1:08:56

        Why would I care? Like, I care about who you are.

    14. JSJay Shetty1:08:58

        Mm-hmm.

    15. ARAlexis Ren1:08:58

        Like, what, like, what's your vi- like, what's your intention? Like-

    16. JSJay Shetty1:09:01

        Mm-hmm

    17. ARAlexis Ren1:09:01

        ... w- how ... Are you gonna be fun to work with? Like, are we gonna ... 'Cause ideally I want you to be in this for the long run, and so, uh, do I wanna be talking to you for the next five to 10 years? Like, what does that look like? And so having that perspective of when it comes to jobs, when it comes to meetings, anything ever, is like the human connection should go first no matter what. No matter how bad you want it, like, the human connection is first. Um, that's actually been the best, like, magic trick my mom taught me.

    18. JSJay Shetty1:09:30

        [laughs]

    19. ARAlexis Ren1:09:30

        'Cause it's like, it, it always, it always-

    20. JSJay Shetty1:09:33

        Yeah

    21. ARAlexis Ren1:09:33

        ... provides what I need, and then what the other person needs. So for instance, I was, like, very excited for this role that I almost got a couple weeks ago. I was very excited. I won't say any names. And he was so sweet, and we were talking, we were having such a good time, and I really understood the character, and it was really great. But then, you know, because I don't, I'm not very experienced in the space, he was like, "We're gonna choose someone else," and I was like, "That's completely fine." But then I was sitting in meditation, and I had this urge to write him an email. And I didn't, I didn't know why, because my goal wasn't necessarily to get the part. I just almost felt like the, the connection of me and him wasn't finished. And so I just sent him a thank you, and I was like, "Thank you so much for speaking, giving me your time, like, learning about me-

    22. JSJay Shetty1:10:15

        Mm-hmm

    23. ARAlexis Ren1:10:15

        ... because who I am matters, because you need to get to know if I fit the char ... " like, all of these things. And because of that, it almost solidified our relationship, and that, but that wasn't my intention.

    24. JSJay Shetty1:10:24

        Yes, yes.

    25. ARAlexis Ren1:10:24

        My intention was just like, "This isn't over. I don't know why-

    26. JSJay Shetty1:10:27

        Yeah

    27. ARAlexis Ren1:10:27

        ... and I'm just gonna sit down and see." So, like, listening to, almost, like, letting it overpower whether or not the-

    28. JSJay Shetty1:10:33

        Mm-hmm

    29. ARAlexis Ren1:10:33

        ... w- what happened, it's like if you don't feel like it's finished, like, go in there with the intention that you wanna just solidify the mirror-

    30. JSJay Shetty1:10:44

        Mm-hmm
25. 1:14:16 – 1:17:15

    Pain is pain, its valid when it happens

    1. JSJay Shetty1:14:16

       always happy, then what we're saying is, when I become successful, I have to always be happy.

    2. ARAlexis Ren1:14:20

       Mm-hmm. It puts the pressure-

    3. JSJay Shetty1:14:21

       And that pressure is just-

    4. ARAlexis Ren1:14:22

       Right back on us. It's interesting-

    5. JSJay Shetty1:14:23

       Yeah

    6. ARAlexis Ren1:14:23

       ... how that works. And it's almost like, um, yeah, anything that we direct outwards is an exact manifestation of what's gonna happen inside of us, and so we have to be so careful with our words. Like, I don't... Why do you think they call it spelling?

    7. JSJay Shetty1:14:37

       [laughs]

    8. ARAlexis Ren1:14:38

       Spells. Like, I'm like-

    9. JSJay Shetty1:14:39

       Wow. That's-

    10. ARAlexis Ren1:14:41

        It trips me out sometimes

    11. JSJay Shetty1:14:41

        ... that's good. I've not had that before. I like that. That's good.

    12. ARAlexis Ren1:14:44

        It tri- the words are... Like, I am... Oh, my God.

    13. JSJay Shetty1:14:47

        Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

    14. ARAlexis Ren1:14:48

        When I hear girls say, like, "I am ugly," or, "I am..." I'm just like, [gasps] "No. Uh. Mm. No. Like, you can... No. I, I refuse to let you say that about yourself 'cause you would never say that about your daughter. You would never say that about your friend." And so it's... It truly is, like, having these honest conversations with anyone at any level has been eye-opening to me, and that's one of the reasons why I've always loved the podcast so much, 'cause I got to actually just see the person-

    15. JSJay Shetty1:15:16

        Mm-hmm

    16. ARAlexis Ren1:15:16

        ... and not the characters that I see them play-

    17. JSJay Shetty1:15:19

        Mm-hmm

    18. ARAlexis Ren1:15:19

        ... in life. Um, so that's really... It's really inspiring. And then also knowing that pain happens on any lev- like, pain is pain, [laughs] you know?

    19. JSJay Shetty1:15:29

        Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

    20. ARAlexis Ren1:15:30

        Like, me losing someone from a breakup is just as painful as me losing my mom to death, and I was like, "That was a weird... That was weird." I was like, "Huh."

    21. JSJay Shetty1:15:37

        And you almost feel guilty-

    22. ARAlexis Ren1:15:38

        Wow, yeah

    23. JSJay Shetty1:15:38

        ... or, like, you feel like, "Can I feel that? Uh, do I allow myself to?"

    24. ARAlexis Ren1:15:41

        So it's like, yeah, validating on any level because that's actually what connects us as well. And, and, and then I almost feel like until we, um, we have... The goal right now is to, to connect at every level of being human. And then from there, I mean, I, I'm pretty sure, like, an evolution would happen, which would be really cool.

    25. JSJay Shetty1:16:00

        [laughs]

    26. ARAlexis Ren1:16:00

        That'd be really cool. I'd be like, "Whoa."

    27. JSJay Shetty1:16:01

        [laughs]

    28. ARAlexis Ren1:16:02

        Can you imagine if we had everyone at the same time be like, "Love"? [laughs]

    29. JSJay Shetty1:16:05

        Yeah. Can you imagine?

    30. ARAlexis Ren1:16:07

        That's like... That would be crazy.
26. 1:17:15 – 1:21:44

    Proving how many characters you can be when acting

    1. JSJay Shetty1:17:15

       right now is making you so passionately curious about acting? What is it about roles? What is it about your development as an artist that connects you so much to acting?

    2. ARAlexis Ren1:17:28

       Uh, it's, it's almost like proving to myself how many different p- person or identities I can be. I think it's like we almost... I, I feel, even though I seem outgoing, I'm actually quite terrified all the time.

    3. JSJay Shetty1:17:42

       [laughs]

    4. ARAlexis Ren1:17:43

       Um, and I would say I'm, like, an ambivert, like, an in between.

    5. JSJay Shetty1:17:45

       Mm-hmm.

    6. ARAlexis Ren1:17:46

       But when it comes to acting, I don't have a choice.

    7. JSJay Shetty1:17:50

       Mm-hmm.

    8. ARAlexis Ren1:17:51

       Like, I have to show up as this person.

    9. JSJay Shetty1:17:54

       Mm-hmm.

    10. ARAlexis Ren1:17:54

        If I'm nervous, like, it doesn't matter. And, like, once I'm not thinking about lines, once I'm, like, in that state where I just, like, have it memorized to the heart and I can just be there, um, it's, it's similar to flow state. I'm sure you've written-

    11. JSJay Shetty1:18:05

        Mm-hmm. I love flow state

    12. ARAlexis Ren1:18:05

        ... you've read all...

    13. JSJay Shetty1:18:06

        Yeah.

    14. ARAlexis Ren1:18:06

        I love flow state. It was, ooh.

    15. JSJay Shetty1:18:07

        Yeah. I love flow state.

    16. ARAlexis Ren1:18:08

        Flow state is the goal-

    17. JSJay Shetty1:18:09

        Yes

    18. ARAlexis Ren1:18:09

        ... for everything always. [laughs]

    19. JSJay Shetty1:18:11

        [laughs]

    20. ARAlexis Ren1:18:11

        So it puts me in flow state, basically.

    21. JSJay Shetty1:18:13

        Mm-hmm.

    22. ARAlexis Ren1:18:13

        I don't... There's no time.

    23. JSJay Shetty1:18:15

        Mm-hmm.

    24. ARAlexis Ren1:18:15

        I don't remember. I'm not thinking about myself. I'm not thinking about my body. I'm not think- There's n- It's just I'm just here.

    25. JSJay Shetty1:18:22

        Mm-hmm.

    26. ARAlexis Ren1:18:22

        And, like, similar, similar to the way, like, when you surf, like, you're on a wave. It's, like, it's those, like, 30 seconds of just, like, I blacked out. I wasn't even there. Like, I blacked out.

    27. JSJay Shetty1:18:29

        Now, when you're saying that, you can actually surf, so you've actually-

    28. ARAlexis Ren1:18:32

        [laughs]

    29. JSJay Shetty1:18:32

        ... had that experience. [laughs] Like, most people use that analogy-

    30. ARAlexis Ren1:18:36

        Yeah
27. 1:21:44 – 1:26:33

    Show the universe you’re having fun with what’s handed to you

    1. ARAlexis Ren1:21:44

       you can give to God to, like, if he, if he gives you, like, a ball, a red ball for instance-

    2. JSJay Shetty1:21:48

       [laughs]

    3. ARAlexis Ren1:21:48

       [laughs] Like, if you have fun and you're playing with it, he's gonna be like, "Oh, he's, she's playing with it. I'll give her something else." Like, I'll... And it's just like, it's almost like entertain- Like, show him or show-

    4. JSJay Shetty1:21:58

       Mm

    5. ARAlexis Ren1:21:58

       ... the universe that, like, you're so stoked-

    6. JSJay Shetty1:22:01

       Mm-hmm

    7. ARAlexis Ren1:22:01

       ... of what it gave you that it-

    8. JSJay Shetty1:22:03

       Mm

    9. ARAlexis Ren1:22:03

       ... wants to give you more.

    10. JSJay Shetty1:22:03

        Mm.

    11. ARAlexis Ren1:22:03

        Like, you almost, you know, and like, you have... I have a puppy. Her name's Angel.

    12. JSJay Shetty1:22:07

        Aw.

    13. ARAlexis Ren1:22:07

        And whenever I give her a treat she's so stoked that I gave her a treat that I'm like, "I gotta give you another one." [laughs]

    14. JSJay Shetty1:22:12

        [laughs]

    15. ARAlexis Ren1:22:13

        And so, like, I almost feel like that's... And then when I walk my dog and she, like, is not leash trained yet, so she'll just be like, [gasps] like choking-

    16. JSJay Shetty1:22:19

        Yeah

    17. ARAlexis Ren1:22:19

        ... herself out trying to, like, go everywhere and I'm just like, "Is this what I look like?" [laughs]

    18. JSJay Shetty1:22:22

        [laughs] Wow.

    19. ARAlexis Ren1:22:23

        Is this what I look like? Oh, no.

    20. JSJay Shetty1:22:25

        Wow.

    21. ARAlexis Ren1:22:25

        I learn so much from dogs. Also-

    22. JSJay Shetty1:22:27

        Wow

    23. ARAlexis Ren1:22:27

        ... when a dog... My dog is obsessed with a ball, one ball in particular. It's gross. I can't believe she still has it. I'm just like, "Oh my God." Um, so obsessed with this ball and I'm like, "That is amazing." And literally her only goal with this ball is to give it back to me so that I can throw it so she can ta- catch it so I can give it back to her. She- There's, there's no point to this-

    24. JSJay Shetty1:22:47

        Mm-hmm

    25. ARAlexis Ren1:22:47

        ... whatsoever. And so it showed me, I was like, "Do it just for the act."

    26. JSJay Shetty1:22:51

        Mm-hmm.

    27. ARAlexis Ren1:22:51

        Like, don't do it for, like, the, the idea, the goal, or the dream-

    28. JSJay Shetty1:22:55

        Mm-hmm

    29. ARAlexis Ren1:22:55

        ... just, just do it. And so, like-

    30. JSJay Shetty1:22:56

        Yeah
28. 1:26:33 – 1:28:47

    Every Disney movie always has a comical side character

    1. ARAlexis Ren1:26:33

       here. So you know how like in any like Disney, like movie-

    2. JSJay Shetty1:26:36

       Yeah

    3. ARAlexis Ren1:26:36

       ... like Pixar, whatever, there's always a sidekick.

    4. JSJay Shetty1:26:39

       Yes.

    5. ARAlexis Ren1:26:40

       Tangled, the chameleon. Like there's a bunny in The Abominable Snowman.

    6. JSJay Shetty1:26:43

       Yeah.

    7. ARAlexis Ren1:26:43

       There is always like this really funny comical relief-

    8. JSJay Shetty1:26:46

       Olaf in Frozen.

    9. ARAlexis Ren1:26:47

       O- Olaf

    10. JSJay Shetty1:26:48

        Yeah.

    11. ARAlexis Ren1:26:49

        Spirit animal. Um-

    12. JSJay Shetty1:26:49

        Yeah.

    13. ARAlexis Ren1:26:51

        I was like, I need to, I want a sidekick.

    14. JSJay Shetty1:26:54

        [laughs]

    15. ARAlexis Ren1:26:54

        Like I want that idiot that's just like running and hitting a wall while I'm trying to like do business. Like I can, we need that.

    16. JSJay Shetty1:27:00

        That's so cool.

    17. ARAlexis Ren1:27:01

        Like we need that. Yeah, so like movies are so powerful in the way that they like kind of, they give us characters-

    18. JSJay Shetty1:27:06

        Mm-hmm, mm-hmm

    19. ARAlexis Ren1:27:06

        ... to like replicate. And so I've almost like whenever I watch a movie, I'm just like, "I like that character. Like that character's really cool."

    20. JSJay Shetty1:27:11

        Mm-hmm.

    21. ARAlexis Ren1:27:11

        Like one of the shows that I actually like loved growing up with was Entourage. [laughs]

    22. JSJay Shetty1:27:16

        Yeah. Okay, I've got a funny story to tell you about Entourage.

    23. ARAlexis Ren1:27:18

        Oh my God.

    24. JSJay Shetty1:27:18

        So I was a monk when Entourage was famous, so I never watched it, so I didn't know what it was. So my wife just made me watch Entourage, so we literally just finished it. It's one of the best shows ever.

    25. ARAlexis Ren1:27:28

        It's so good.

    26. JSJay Shetty1:27:28

        It's amazing. Yeah.

    27. ARAlexis Ren1:27:29

        Yo, they're just vibing.

    28. JSJay Shetty1:27:30

        I would watch it a- I c- I would watch it again.

    29. ARAlexis Ren1:27:32

        [laughs]

    30. JSJay Shetty1:27:32

        I loved it. I literally just watched it this year, so.
29. 1:28:47 – 1:37:04

    Alexis on the Final Five

    1. JSJay Shetty1:28:47

       you through our final five.

    2. ARAlexis Ren1:28:48

       Okay.

    3. JSJay Shetty1:28:49

       These are the fast five, so you have to answer them in one word to one sentence maximum. That's all you can say.

    4. ARAlexis Ren1:28:54

       Okay.

    5. JSJay Shetty1:28:55

       So you can do use one-

    6. ARAlexis Ren1:28:56

       Actually, I didn't even read these.

    7. JSJay Shetty1:28:57

       You can u- No, no, no, no, you didn't read them.

    8. ARAlexis Ren1:28:58

       I didn't.

    9. JSJay Shetty1:28:58

       Yeah. No, no, no, you shouldn't.

    10. ARAlexis Ren1:28:59

        I didn't.

    11. JSJay Shetty1:29:00

        You shouldn't read them.

    12. ARAlexis Ren1:29:00

        Okay.

    13. JSJay Shetty1:29:01

        [laughs] Okay, so the first que- and I, I change them on the day anyway, so it doesn't matter if you do read them, because I just ask what I wanna ask.

    14. ARAlexis Ren1:29:09

        Okay, let's go.

    15. JSJay Shetty1:29:09

        Okay, so question number one is, uh, what is the best advice you've ever received?

    16. ARAlexis Ren1:29:17

        I would, I would just have to bring it back to what my mom said about being curious instead of passionate.

    17. JSJay Shetty1:29:21

        Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

    18. ARAlexis Ren1:29:22

        Um, it takes the edge off of so many-

    19. JSJay Shetty1:29:24

        Great

    20. ARAlexis Ren1:29:25

        ... um, so much pressure.

    21. JSJay Shetty1:29:27

        Yeah.

    22. ARAlexis Ren1:29:27

        It's just like, just be curious and stay teachable.

    23. JSJay Shetty1:29:30

        I love that.

    24. ARAlexis Ren1:29:30

        Be curious and stay teachable.

    25. JSJay Shetty1:29:32

        Awesome. Great answer. What's the worst advice you've ever received?

    26. ARAlexis Ren1:29:37

        Like you can only, I w- I'd say like you can only be one thing in a life-

    27. JSJay Shetty1:29:40

        Mm. Mm

    28. ARAlexis Ren1:29:41

        ... is like I've just been lear- I've just been taught so much that like you're an accountant-

    29. JSJay Shetty1:29:46

        Mm-hmm

    30. ARAlexis Ren1:29:46

        ... or you're a lawyer, or you're... And, and now we're living in a world where it's like you can be all of those things. You can be all of those things. And so I just saying like, "Oh, you can only be one thing in life," is probably the most wrong thing anyone's ever said to me for sure.

Episode duration: 1:37:05