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Big Sean ON: How To Manifest ABUNDANCE, SUCCESS, & HAPPINESS Into Your Life | Jay Shetty

Jay Shetty sits down with Big Sean to talk about personal growth and dealing with relationships. In order to be of service to others, we all need to take care of our needs first.

Jay ShettyhostBig Seanguest

Mar 28, 20221h 27mWatch on YouTube

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Transcript

95 min read · 18,614 words

0:00 – 4:57
Intro
1. JSJay Shetty
  Hey, I don't often do this, but I'm gonna give you a note on how to listen to this episode.
2. BSBig Sean
  [laughs]
3. JSJay Shetty
  I've never done this before, but I had to do it because of how powerful everything Sean said was. The first thing is watch out for the subtleties of what Sean is saying.
4. BSBig Sean
  Mm.
5. JSJay Shetty
  Everything he's saying is experience, it's realization, so you have to look out for the subtlety. Don't just go, "Oh yeah, I know that. I kind of have heard that," or... No, no, no. It's, it's focus on the subtlety of the application. That's step one for listening to this podcast. The second thing is have fun while you listen to it.
6. BSBig Sean
  Yeah. [laughs]
7. JSJay Shetty
  Appreciate it, love it-
8. BSBig Sean
  Yeah
9. JSJay Shetty
  ... let it flow. Uh, but definitely look out for the subtleties. I hope you enjoy this episode. [upbeat music] Hey, everyone. Welcome back to On Purpose, the number one health podcast in the world. Thanks to each and every single one of you that come back every week to listen, learn, and grow, investing in your mental health, investing in your mental fitness, investing in your relationships. That's why you show up. And you know that one of my favorite things is listening to your comments, reading your reviews, and trying to figure out what resonated with you. I'm on Twitter watching what you're tweeting. I'm on Instagram Story seeing what you're tagging. And today's episode is a special gift from our guest and myself to you, because I don't think we've had an episode that has had more requests for a part two than today's guest, and that is not an understatement. This is the most requested part two that we've ever had on On Purpose in the last three years.
10. BSBig Sean
  Yeah. [laughs] Wow.
11. JSJay Shetty
  And the guest is none other than my dear friend, someone that I met for the first time on the podcast last time.
12. BSBig Sean
  Mm-hmm.
13. JSJay Shetty
  Not only did that couple of hours create a deep, lasting friendship since, it's created this desire to serve together, to have a brotherhood together, to create impact together. It's none other than my dear friend, incredibly talented, someone who needs no professional introduction.
14. BSBig Sean
  [laughs]
15. JSJay Shetty
  Big Sean. People have been waiting, crying, asking for this.
16. BSBig Sean
  Yeah.
17. JSJay Shetty
  And you've been so generous and kind. We've been talking about this ever since we did the first episode.
18. BSBig Sean
  Yeah. We needed to do part two. It's been, like, on our, it's been on our to-do list, you know?
19. JSJay Shetty
  A- absolutely, and we're doing it.
20. BSBig Sean
  Yeah.
21. JSJay Shetty
  And I just, I, I just wanna let people know, like, off-screen, like, you know, I knew you were deep-
22. BSBig Sean
  Mm-hmm
23. JSJay Shetty
  ... before you came to the show last time. I knew that you were a deep thinker. You worked on yourself. You have this incredible relationship with your mom, who's influenced you so deeply.
24. BSBig Sean
  Yeah.
25. JSJay Shetty
  But I didn't realize just how much of a brotherhood we were gonna have-
26. BSBig Sean
  Right
27. JSJay Shetty
  ... and what a connection we were gonna have.
28. BSBig Sean
  Right, right.
29. JSJay Shetty
  And I didn't realize how much people were gonna love seeing us together-
30. BSBig Sean
  Crazy
4:57 – 13:24
Most of the external things start internally
1. BSBig Sean
  you know?
2. JSJay Shetty
  I love that.
3. BSBig Sean
  Yeah.
4. JSJay Shetty
  Trying to be the stillness in the movement-
5. BSBig Sean
  Mm-hmm
6. JSJay Shetty
  ... and trying to be the movement in the stillness. And are you saying external or internal? Like, how are, how are you learning to watch that and observe it?
7. BSBig Sean
  Well, it's both, right? So it's like the external and the internal are so connected, right? So I just have been realizing that it, it... Most of the things that are external start internally, right? So that's what I us- It starts with internal. That's why I start my day with meditation, you know? And the fact that we went through so many meditations last time we, we met up, man, that was so helpful because I learn... I meditate every morning, and I like to ask you, like, what does meditation do for you, like, when you do it? Like-
8. JSJay Shetty
  Yeah, so-
9. BSBig Sean
  ... what does it do for you?
10. JSJay Shetty
  There's, there's, as we did last time, so-
11. BSBig Sean
  Mm-hmm
12. JSJay Shetty
  ... I'm trying to figure out whi- which ones everyone's gonna see first, but either way-
13. BSBig Sean
  Yeah
14. JSJay Shetty
  ... uh, Sh- Big Sean and I did a brilliant Men's Health collab-
15. BSBig Sean
  Mm-hmm
16. JSJay Shetty
  ... to talk about the power of wellness and meditation.
17. BSBig Sean
  Right.
18. JSJay Shetty
  It was historic because it's the first time Men's Health are doing a Train Like Me but based on meditation-
19. BSBig Sean
  Yeah
20. JSJay Shetty
  ... ever.
21. BSBig Sean
  Yeah.
22. JSJay Shetty
  It's always been physical.
23. BSBig Sean
  Right.
24. JSJay Shetty
  And so me and you got to do this.
25. BSBig Sean
  Isn't that cool, man?
26. JSJay Shetty
  It's so cool.
27. BSBig Sean
  It's crazy.
28. JSJay Shetty
  We're gonna do it together. It's awesome.
29. BSBig Sean
  Yeah, it's crazy.
30. JSJay Shetty
  And so I love that and, you know, we worked on that together. And I have three different types of meditation.
13:24 – 16:35
Be open to other possibilities and options
1. BSBig Sean
  I actually saw the interview you did with Lauren London, and she was talking about surrendering-
2. JSJay Shetty
  Mm-hmm
3. BSBig Sean
  ... to the universe. You do. You have to surrender, and you have to realize that, yeah, okay, and if you are specific, well, then just always make sure in that s- you know, specification that you put, "and more"
4. JSJay Shetty
  Mm-hmm
5. BSBig Sean
  or, "and I'm open to whatever possibilities are, are also available" or what other, you know, options there are. You know, if you are specific because y- we can be specific somewhat, but it, uh, you can't just be too specific and leave it there like you were talking about. You know, you could say, "Hey, I wanna have the number one podcast for, you know, that talks about mental health and all these things," right? But, you know, that's-- this, the specification of that, it c- it's, it's even bigger than that.
6. JSJay Shetty
  Yeah
7. BSBig Sean
  You know what I mean? Your sh- your sh- your show, everything you do is, is way bigger than that, you know? And it's, uh-- But you're open to all of those-
8. JSJay Shetty
  Yes
9. BSBig Sean
  ... expansive options. So I just hope people realize that, like, whatever you want in life, first of all, wanting something is acknowledging the lack of it, right? So remember in our last interview I talked about God gives you what you ask for. So you have to really understand that it's y- you know, I kinda don't say I want anything anymore. I don't say that anymore. I say I desire or my intention. You know, I don't say I want it because I'm just acknowledging over and over that I don't have it, and I, I don't wanna match that vibration of not having it anymore. So instead it's, you know, this is my intention, my desire, and I put myself vibrationally on that frequency of already having it, already being there, and that for me works. Y- uh, you know, I don't know if that's works for everyone else, but y- you know, try it. If, if, if life isn't, uh, going exactly how you want it to go, which, you know, is 99% of us in this world, try it that way.
10. JSJay Shetty
  That's powerful.
11. BSBig Sean
  Mm.
12. JSJay Shetty
  For me, that hit right there-
13. BSBig Sean
  Mm-hmm
14. JSJay Shetty
  ... because I've heard people talk about what want means before, but the way you explained it-
15. BSBig Sean
  Mm-hmm
16. JSJay Shetty
  ... when you want something, it's often can remove gratitude.
17. BSBig Sean
  Mm-hmm.
18. JSJay Shetty
  And that doesn't stop you from desiring, and that's what I love what you said. You say, "I desire," "I intend," or-
19. BSBig Sean
  Mm-hmm
20. JSJay Shetty
  ... "My intention is."
21. BSBig Sean
  Mm.
22. JSJay Shetty
  It's not that you don't want to pursue-
23. BSBig Sean
  Yeah
24. JSJay Shetty
  ... or grow or evolve.
25. BSBig Sean
  Mm-hmm.
26. JSJay Shetty
  It's just that the word want, as you correctly said, makes it feel like almost a sense of ingratitude for what you have.
27. BSBig Sean
  That's right
28. JSJay Shetty
  And the lack of it starts eating away, where you're chasing now versus pursuing. I think of the difference between the word chase and pursue.
29. BSBig Sean
  There's a difference.
30. JSJay Shetty
  Chase feels desperate. It feels-
16:35 – 25:29
How often do you practice gratitude?
1. BSBig Sean
  Tell me how important that is to you. Like, how, how do, how often do you practice, like, gratitude? 'Cause I wake up every morning, and I'm like, "Thank you, man. Thank you, God," like, while I'm still half-asleep. You know what I mean? Because, bro, like, we're on the blessed side of the spectrum, just the fact that we get to wake up.
2. JSJay Shetty
  Yeah. I think gratitude is a daily, multiple-times-a-day practice-
3. BSBig Sean
  Mm-hmm
4. JSJay Shetty
  ... for absolutely everything. I was saying earlier today to someone that if something went wrong today, I would tell everyone about it.
5. BSBig Sean
  Mm.
6. JSJay Shetty
  But if something went right today-
7. BSBig Sean
  Right
8. JSJay Shetty
  ... probably wouldn't tell anyone about it.
9. BSBig Sean
  Right?
10. JSJay Shetty
  Right? Like-
11. BSBig Sean
  Yeah
12. JSJay Shetty
  ... so if, if everything in my schedule went to plan, no one would hear about it.
13. BSBig Sean
  Mm.
14. JSJay Shetty
  But everything in my schedule went not to plan, I would tell everyone, "Oh my gosh, my flight got delayed, uh, and then I, like, missed eating my lunch, and then I was late for this," and I would tell everyone about it.
15. BSBig Sean
  And what does that mean?
16. JSJay Shetty
  Yeah, what does that mean? It means that we are not noticing the greatness and the gifts in our life when everything goes to plan, and we don't share that. You never go to someone, "Oh, it was amazing. Everything went to plan." Like, everything-- Like, you wouldn't, you wouldn't say, "Oh, my flight was on time. That's amazing." We expect-
17. BSBig Sean
  Mm-hmm
18. JSJay Shetty
  ... we expect things to happen well.
19. BSBig Sean
  Mm-hmm.
20. JSJay Shetty
  And when you expect something to happen well, you stop feeling gratitude for it.
21. BSBig Sean
  Mm-hmm.
22. JSJay Shetty
  You stop feeling like, well, actually, I'm really fortunate that this happened on time.
23. BSBig Sean
  Yeah, and it makes it more pleasurable, right?
24. JSJay Shetty
  Absolutely.
25. BSBig Sean
  When you go- when you got that gratitude, and you, you know, you feel just better about it. Like, yeah, man, like-
26. JSJay Shetty
  Yeah
27. BSBig Sean
  Yeah
28. JSJay Shetty
  And, and, and I think also gratitude for everything from the smallest things. Like, to me, something I practice with my wife that's-- it came naturally, and now I see it being beneficial, but if she's, like, helping me out with something or she does the tiniest thing, being able to be grateful for that rather than thinking, "Oh, well, you're my wife, I expect you to do that"- I just think the word expectation and the idea of expectations create a really h- unhealthy relationship with ourselves and with others.
29. BSBig Sean
  Pfft.
30. JSJay Shetty
  Right?
25:29 – 32:10
Self care is the opposite of being selfish
1. JSJay Shetty
  So in that situation, how do you process this, or how do you think about getting involved? Because the way I think about it is I realize that working on myself, as you rightly said, that's not going to solve it, but it helps me bring my best to the situation.
2. BSBig Sean
  100%.
3. JSJay Shetty
  Right? Like, if I'm in a mess myself-
4. BSBig Sean
  It start, and it starts there, to me at least.
5. JSJay Shetty
  It starts there.
6. BSBig Sean
  Starts there.
7. JSJay Shetty
  Yeah. It's like, if I'm in a mess myself, how can I remove any mess? The way it was explained when I lived as a monk is that if we ourselves are not trying to be purified-
8. BSBig Sean
  Mm-hmm
9. JSJay Shetty
  ... who are we to help cleanse anything, right? So how can you cleanse something externally if you're not purifying yourself-
10. BSBig Sean
  How can you?
11. JSJay Shetty
  ... internally? It's not, not possible.
12. BSBig Sean
  Mm-hmm.
13. JSJay Shetty
  But then when you do that, the whole goal of working on yourself, and I think this is what's often missed, the whole point of self-care is service.
14. BSBig Sean
  It's-
15. JSJay Shetty
  The whole point of internal purification is to help detox and cleanse externally, right?
16. BSBig Sean
  That to me, the whole purpose of self-care is the complete opposite of being selfish. You know, it's, um, it's actually, like you said, a service to the world. So when you are overwhelmed with all the anxiety of everything that's going on, you're overwhelmed with your, you know, your personal problems and the world's problems and just things seem to be too much, we all go through this. It is the most important thing to rely on the faith that everything is gonna be okay. You know, and when you put your best foot forward, when you do take care of the, the extra steps to take care of yourself to bring your best foot forward, you realize, like we talked about last time, that the faith that, you know, the reason that we're in this moment in the first place is 'cause we have the ability to change this moment. The great part about being in any situation, whether you're up or down in life, is that it's a amazing opportunity, and you have the ability to change every situation, right? So, you know, when you have that faith, like I talked about that invisible bridge, when you have that faith that you can just walk across and you don't really see how you're gonna get across, but you know it's there, and you step on that, off that cliff and onto the, to where you don't see anything and you still haven't fallen, that's what faith is, and that's what we have to have in each other as a society and realize that the, the more conscious we are and the more we work on ourselves, the, the more steps we're taking to get to the, to the other side of things. You know what I mean?
17. JSJay Shetty
  Yeah.
18. BSBig Sean
  Yeah.
19. JSJay Shetty
  And, and how do you think, how do you develop that? Because when I saw your face describing the, the faith and the invisible bridge and the steps, when I watch you describe that, I can see that it's realized.
20. BSBig Sean
  Yeah.
21. JSJay Shetty
  Like, it's, it's a realization for you.
22. BSBig Sean
  Mm-hmm.
23. JSJay Shetty
  This isn't just some idea or something you read in a book.
24. BSBig Sean
  No.
25. JSJay Shetty
  Or it's, it's realized.
26. BSBig Sean
  Mm-hmm.
27. JSJay Shetty
  How did you develop that faith over the years? Because it was a step-by-step process-
28. BSBig Sean
  Yeah. [laughs]
29. JSJay Shetty
  ... in being able to see that. Because I think a lot of people, if you try and fake that faith, it doesn't work.
30. BSBig Sean
  Can't work, no.
32:10 – 40:06
A shift in mindset can totally change our perspective
1. BSBig Sean
  us.
2. JSJay Shetty
  Recently, I was reading from, I was reading from Viktor Frankl's Man's Search for Meaning again.
3. BSBig Sean
  Mm-hmm.
4. JSJay Shetty
  And I think it's called "Twelve Gifts for Life" by Edith Eger. So they both survived the Holocaust.
5. BSBig Sean
  Mm.
6. JSJay Shetty
  And I was reading that because of what's happening in the world.
7. BSBig Sean
  Mm-hmm.
8. JSJay Shetty
  And to me, at this time, when the world's going through these things, the only people I can turn towards are the people who've lived through it.
9. BSBig Sean
  Right.
10. JSJay Shetty
  I often think that those are the people that can guide us the deepest.
11. BSBig Sean
  Yeah.
12. JSJay Shetty
  And so when people ask me for my guidance at these times, I go, "Let's look at these people's guidance."
13. BSBig Sean
  Yeah.
14. JSJay Shetty
  Because they were actually there. Like, Edith and Viktor talk about them being in the concentration camps-
15. BSBig Sean
  Wow
16. JSJay Shetty
  ... seeing people dragged, seeing children abused. Like, this is all happening around them.
17. BSBig Sean
  Mm-hmm.
18. JSJay Shetty
  And Edith Eger said something that I think you'll appreciate so much. She said, "I realized, and I had to realize, that I wasn't the prisoner, but the guards were the prisoners of their own conscience." And she goes, "When I realized that I wasn't imprisoned-"
19. BSBig Sean
  That's crazy
20. JSJay Shetty
  ... the people who were being imprisoned by their hatred, and imprisoned by their own pain, and imprisoned by their desire to dominate, and control, and to abuse people, that's the real prison."
21. BSBig Sean
  That is the real prison.
22. JSJay Shetty
  "I was free." Like, you hear someone say that, going through the most atrocious, horrendous thing they could possibly go through, but that was her mindset. She's still living. She survived. And you go-
23. BSBig Sean
  Man, what a crazy thing to survive through.
24. JSJay Shetty
  Right, and to have that perspective.
25. BSBig Sean
  Mm-hmm.
26. JSJay Shetty
  And she was saying that it was that perspective, it's what you're saying, that in that moment, she had to rewire how she saw what was going on so that she could get through it.
27. BSBig Sean
  Yeah.
28. JSJay Shetty
  If she just accepted it for what it was, she said she would've lost that resolve.
29. BSBig Sean
  That's one of those lessons only life can teach you, right? She was, she-- That's one of those lessons. Like, we go through these things and ex-experiences that there's no other way to, uh... I just hope that people realize when they go through things, it doesn't have to be such a traumatic experience, or such a detrimental thing, or such a, you know, a immeasurable loss or anything. It's, you know, the fact that you're able to survive through the day, you know? There was somebody who got murdered around the corner from, i-in the neighborhood I live in, and I'm just like-
30. JSJay Shetty
  Oh, you're saying actually, like, right recent or what?
40:06 – 44:45
When you’re rich even without money
1. BSBig Sean
  That's one thing I want people to remember, too. Like, we don't have the right to judge anybody-
2. JSJay Shetty
  Absolutely
3. BSBig Sean
  ... going through anything, and we sit up and judge each other all day on social media or on, in real life, too, and, you know, that's, uh... You know, I wanna tie that back to, uh, another thing that I was talking about because everyone is going through something. You never know, right? But that's not even a... It's a, it's a very conditional thing to try and keep up a, a image or a, a facade, right? And, uh, you know, even, like, money is such a conditional thing. Like, that's why when I say rich, yeah, you could be rich-
4. JSJay Shetty
  Love that definition
5. BSBig Sean
  ... in money, but it's conditional, right? So when that money goes, you're not even rich anymore. It's like if you took all the money away from me or anyo- or anyone around me or my family, we are at a point where we, we were rich before we had money, you know what I'm saying? Because of the, the, the rich practices that we were taught, you know, which is, you know, to take care of your, you know, to take care of yourself early on, whi- which is a lesson that I kind of put on the back burner and went through and experienced life, and life was hitting me and beating me up, and I had to take a step back and r- reaffirm, uh, the things that I already knew but really strengthen them up, you know what I mean?
6. JSJay Shetty
  Mm-hmm.
7. BSBig Sean
  And that, that is, that is being rich for real, you know? Because money is conditional, and that's the energy we've assigned to it. It's the currency of, uh, you know, our, our, uh, I guess you could say just our country's, our, our living the way we live. But really, you know, time is, like, the currency of our, uh, universe, you know? And love is, like, the currency of, of all. You know-
8. JSJay Shetty
  Mm
9. BSBig Sean
  ... love is every- love is God, right? So I know I'm kind of rambling, but-
10. JSJay Shetty
  No, you're not at all.
11. BSBig Sean
  Yeah, but-
12. JSJay Shetty
  No, that, that resonates, man.
13. BSBig Sean
  Yeah, I just want people to get that, though, man, because it's like try not to judge. You're just wasting your... When you judging somebody else, you're really just wasting your time.
14. JSJay Shetty
  Yeah.
15. BSBig Sean
  You're really just giving somebody else your energy that's so valuable.
16. JSJay Shetty
  Mm-hmm.
17. BSBig Sean
  You could be building so- you could be building a mountain with that energy. You could be building a mountain or a future or a career or something else, and instead you're really worried about somebody else or tearing somebody else down, and that just, it just doesn't make sense. It's so easy to do, though. It's so easy-
18. JSJay Shetty
  Yeah
19. BSBig Sean
  ... for a lot of people.
20. JSJay Shetty
  And it gives you a quick boost.
21. BSBig Sean
  It gives you a quick boost.
22. JSJay Shetty
  Makes you feel good in the moment-
23. BSBig Sean
  Yeah
24. JSJay Shetty
  ... quickly.
25. BSBig Sean
  It does because I think it makes people feel good in the moment or, you know, who... I can't speak for people, but I think we can get obsessed with validation and, like, retweets or, like, a lot of likes or, like, getting a reaction or getting attention. But- You know, one of the things that I've realized is that people kind of put morals to the side. You know, they will literally leak something of you that's very private. It could be a nude, it could be a thing, it could be something, and they put all the morals aside and be like, "Oh, this is gonna get a lot of attention, so I'm gonna put it out. I don't care what he's going- it doesn't matter what he's going through," like, you know? But really, and I'm not just speaking about me, I'm talking about anyone, like that person could be going through... could be on the edge, and that pushes him over the edge. You never know, so just always keep that in mind, like-
26. JSJay Shetty
  That's huge
27. BSBig Sean
  ... don't, don't... Like, it's okay to, you know, want a lot of retweets and want a lot of love and likes and stuff. We all... You know, we all do that. We, we're, we're professionals, so yeah, when we touch and communicate with a lot of people and people show love, that's great, but I just wanted to pri- I want to prioritize that, you know, at least I do, and realize that my morals come first, though.
28. JSJay Shetty
  Yeah.
29. BSBig Sean
  You know what I mean?
30. JSJay Shetty
  And, and not... And what you just said is n- making sure that whatever we're doing is not at the expense of someone else.
44:45 – 52:00
Approach everything with happiness within you
1. JSJay Shetty
  What's, what's been the most recent thing... You were talking about learning life's lessons.
2. BSBig Sean
  Mm-hmm.
3. JSJay Shetty
  What do you think has been the most recent life lesson, big or small, that's come across your path that's kind of stayed with you or been on your mind? I just wonder because, you know, we always talk about learning lessons through life, and people think that they have to be these huge, big ones, but sometimes it's just something every day. But what's it been for you? Has there been anything that stood out?
4. BSBig Sean
  Yeah, to have fun.
5. JSJay Shetty
  Nice. Yeah. See-
6. BSBig Sean
  To make, to make everything you're doing fun.
7. JSJay Shetty
  Fun, yeah.
8. BSBig Sean
  Period. Because we're here for such a limited time, and when we see somebody pass away that's close to us or someone we idolize, our heroes, our family members, our friends, whatever, just, you know, you gotta realize that, okay, I do work, but I need to make this fun because that is the key to happiness, right? And I feel like that is, to me, the only thing that really... That's real success is when you're happy. So you gotta have fun with whatever you're doing. Like, you have to... And if it's not fun, you gotta make it fun or do something else, you know, even if it pays your bills or anything, like you gotta... Like, if you just approach it like that, I'm telling you, the whole... Something that may be so depressing to you can completely change. That job you may have been working on... I've been doing this since I was 11 years old, by the way, making music, you know?
9. JSJay Shetty
  Wow.
10. BSBig Sean
  And obviously I want to do other things with my life. Like, I mean, you were talking, I want to write a book.
11. JSJay Shetty
  I can't wait for that, man.
12. BSBig Sean
  Yeah, because, you know, I've learned so many lessons, like from you or from Deepak. You know, I get to sit with Sadhguru and-
13. JSJay Shetty
  From your mother
14. BSBig Sean
  ... my mom especially.
15. JSJay Shetty
  Yeah.
16. BSBig Sean
  I get to sit with Jeneé. I get to sit with all these amazing... Or I get to sit with Marie Diamond. I get to sit-
17. JSJay Shetty
  Yeah
18. BSBig Sean
  ... with a lot of people who know so much, and that I know that it's one of my life purposes to, to put that information into, you know, and all the experiences I've been through, all the testaments I've seen, all the just magic that I've witnessed in my life, you know, that's the reason I want to write a book. I'm not doing it because, oh, it's a cool thing for your career to do, like write a book. Like, I feel like I have to write a book because it's like one of my missions for humanity.
19. JSJay Shetty
  I want to read that book, man.
20. BSBig Sean
  Yeah, yeah.
21. JSJay Shetty
  I, I, I think it's fascinating hearing about everyone's journey-
22. BSBig Sean
  Mm-hmm
23. JSJay Shetty
  ... to how they started going inward.
24. BSBig Sean
  Yeah.
25. JSJay Shetty
  Right? Like, that's what's fascinating, right?
26. BSBig Sean
  Yeah.
27. JSJay Shetty
  Like we always... Books are always written about the journey outwards.
28. BSBig Sean
  Mm.
29. JSJay Shetty
  What did you succeed? What did you achieve? Where did you get to?
30. BSBig Sean
  Mm-hmm.
52:00 – 53:13
We don’t give ourselves permission for things we don't deserve
1. BSBig Sean
  going on, you know?
2. JSJay Shetty
  Yeah. I was actually just about to say that. I think that's the most powerful thing you said there-
3. BSBig Sean
  Mm-hmm
4. JSJay Shetty
  ... as you were sharing that, the idea that we don't give ourself permission for things we don't deserve.
5. BSBig Sean
  Mm-hmm.
6. JSJay Shetty
  So we don't give ourselves the permission to rest if we don't feel we deserve rest.
7. BSBig Sean
  Mm-hmm.
8. JSJay Shetty
  And a lot of us don't feel we deserve rest. We don't feel we deserve fun.
9. BSBig Sean
  I know.
10. JSJay Shetty
  We don't feel we deserve joy.
11. BSBig Sean
  Mm-hmm.
12. JSJay Shetty
  And so we don't allow ourselves to have that feeling. And as you were saying, then you used that word deserve, I was like, I just want everyone to stop, everyone who's listening right now to this episode or watching this episode, to just stop and think, what are you not feeling like you deserve?
13. BSBig Sean
  Yeah. People feel like they might not deserve real love. I'm a-
14. JSJay Shetty
  Totally
15. BSBig Sean
  ... I don't deserve a partner or I don't deserve the rest. I don't deserve to go out and have fun. I haven't been getting enough work done. Like, that's all crazy. None of that stuff is connected to each other, man. Like-
16. JSJay Shetty
  Yeah
17. BSBig Sean
  ... take care, take care of yourself first and foremost, and watch how more beautiful your life unfolds.
18. JSJay Shetty
  Absolutely. I want to ask you something, though. With, on the flip side of that-
19. BSBig Sean
  Mm
20. JSJay Shetty
  ... you know, I've been thinking about recently this idea of
53:13 – 56:50
You have to listen to yourself
1. JSJay Shetty
  how do you do things that are good for you even when you don't feel like it?
2. BSBig Sean
  [laughs]
3. JSJay Shetty
  Because you don't always feel like doing things-
4. BSBig Sean
  Mm-hmm
5. JSJay Shetty
  ... that are actually good for you.
6. BSBig Sean
  Right.
7. JSJay Shetty
  And so we try and avoid them-
8. BSBig Sean
  Mm
9. JSJay Shetty
  ... because of how we feel right now.
10. BSBig Sean
  Right.
11. JSJay Shetty
  How do you find yourself doing that with the gym, with meditation, with-
12. BSBig Sean
  Mm-hmm
13. JSJay Shetty
  ... everything that you're saying, whether it's in the studio. How have you been able to go and get over that initial feeling of, "I don't want to meditate today," or, "I don't want to sleep early today," or, "I don't want to work out today"? How do you work through that voice in your head?
14. BSBig Sean
  When it comes to self-care, it's not s- this... You can set a schedule, but there are times where you're gonna have to wake up earlier. You're gonna have to get right to something, right? You're gonna have to maybe meditate later on in the day. You may not even get a chance to, but that's the beauty of, first of all, that's the beauty of the short meditations that me and you went over, like the two-minute meditations, right? It doesn't have to be 15 minutes where... You know, 'cause I like, I take a thing, I do things where I, like, write my goals down. I do this. I write my intentions for the day. I med- I wr- I meditate for 15, 20 minutes. Then I sip my tea. You know, I take ti- I take a hour to myself, and a lot of times I don't always have that, right? Sometimes I do it later in the day when I do have time, and the days that I don't have time to do that, I'll be like, "Well, I'm at least gonna do this." There's a bare minimum, and even, even if it's a two or three-minute meditation. Or to be honest with you, there have been days where I was completely exhausted and did nothing. And honestly- I deserved those days.
15. JSJay Shetty
  [laughs]
16. BSBig Sean
  You know? There are days where you turn your ph- I had a day that, like not too long ago, where I put my phone in the drawer. I had to leave it. I didn't pick it back up till like midnight and when I was about to go to sleep, and I didn't go to the studio that day. I didn't do anything. I just needed time to myself. You have to listen to yourself, and when you listen to yourself, you have to ask, "Well, why don't I feel like doing this? Why, why?" Who doesn't wanna take care of themselves, right?
17. JSJay Shetty
  Mm-hmm.
18. BSBig Sean
  And maybe you just need some time to just be lazy, man. That's okay. [laughs]
19. JSJay Shetty
  Yeah, yeah.
20. BSBig Sean
  That, that is okay. But it's the fact that you know better. When you know better, you're already in- headed in the right direction.
21. JSJay Shetty
  Yeah.
22. BSBig Sean
  So when y- when you don't take care of yourself, right, when you don't work out or you don't meditate, you're gonna be like, "Oh, man, I don't feel... I, I, I feel like I shoulda kinda..." You know?
23. JSJay Shetty
  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
24. BSBig Sean
  And yeah, and it'll eventually get you right back on track, uh, i- if you're a disciplined person, right?
25. JSJay Shetty
  Yeah.
26. BSBig Sean
  So which I advise people to try and be disciplined with the things that give you joy.
27. JSJay Shetty
  Mm.
28. BSBig Sean
  You know?
29. JSJay Shetty
  Those two things don't always... You don't feel like they go together-
30. BSBig Sean
  No, but-
56:50 – 1:00:25
How can you serve others?
1. BSBig Sean
  Yeah.
2. JSJay Shetty
  At this point in your life, what have your new dreams, heart space been like? Like, what's been going on in your heart and mind about who you wanna be and what you wanna do-
3. BSBig Sean
  Hmm
4. JSJay Shetty
  ... and, and what you wanna create?
5. BSBig Sean
  Man, I've really just been like, "Okay, how can I impact the world at this point?" 'Cause I'm in a position, right? I have a platform. I've done a lot of things I wanted to do, um, musically, right? I've experienced, like, so many beautiful things, and I remember all I wanted was a song on the radio, right? But I didn't limit myself to that, right, by just being so specific. I always was like, "I want a song and whatever else I could get, you know, whatever else comes with that." And, uh, so lately I've just been thinking, "How can I impact the world? How can I use my platform to change the world and look back and be like, 'Wow, that was something that meant something. That's something that my grandkids could look at and say, Man, Granddad really did that.'"
6. JSJay Shetty
  Yeah.
7. BSBig Sean
  You know? And, uh, make that impact to people or listeners or anyone that's tuned into my frequency, you know what I mean? How can I impact them? How can I make the best use of this opportunity, this life I have, this body I have? That's, that's kinda where my motivation has been at, so I put that into my music. I put that into, okay, we're getting my book together. I put that into, you know, since these COVID restrictions are up, it's kinda like how do I wanna see people live? What experience-
8. JSJay Shetty
  Yeah, and you've been at Coachella this year.
9. BSBig Sean
  Yeah, Coachella's coming up.
10. JSJay Shetty
  That's dope.
11. BSBig Sean
  Yeah, like what experience do I wanna give people?
12. JSJay Shetty
  Yeah.
13. BSBig Sean
  You know? And also to not take away from what makes me happy.
14. JSJay Shetty
  Mm.
15. BSBig Sean
  And you know, that's being with the people I love, you know? Just figuring out how we can change the world and aligning my people, my team with that, and, you know, I'm looking forward to just living life. I'm looking forward to starting a family at the right time.
16. JSJay Shetty
  All right.
17. BSBig Sean
  You know what I mean?
18. JSJay Shetty
  Hey.
19. BSBig Sean
  Yeah, and just-
20. JSJay Shetty
  We gotta time that. [laughs]
21. BSBig Sean
  Yeah, we gotta... [laughs] It's all on God's time though, right?
22. JSJay Shetty
  Gotta sync up. Yeah, yeah.
23. BSBig Sean
  Yeah.
24. JSJay Shetty
  Yeah.
25. BSBig Sean
  Exactly.
26. JSJay Shetty
  Yeah.
27. BSBig Sean
  Yeah, relationships are deep, boy. They are deep. But the, but that is a... That is, to me, like where I'm at in my life.
28. JSJay Shetty
  Mm.
29. BSBig Sean
  You know what I mean?
30. JSJay Shetty
  Yeah.
1:00:25 – 1:06:00
Clear the blockages within you
1. JSJay Shetty
  What, what's gone into crafting and what you're trying to craft?
2. BSBig Sean
  Wow, that's, that's really deep too about... Let's make sure we touch back on, like, traumas and-
3. JSJay Shetty
  Yeah
4. BSBig Sean
  ... um, things that we inherit from our parents.
5. JSJay Shetty
  Mm-hmm.
6. BSBig Sean
  You know, because we inherit... I'm, I'm... Actually, I'll do that. We'll talk about that now-
7. JSJay Shetty
  Yeah, that's good. Yeah
8. BSBig Sean
  ... then I can go to that, like-
9. JSJay Shetty
  Yeah.
10. BSBig Sean
  One of the things I've had to do in my life is clear some of the blockages that I've had, and you know, all in different ways, all through different people, and that's something that I may wanna get more detailed in with people too, 'cause people are gonna say, "Well, how do I clear these blockages within me?" And there are many, many ways and many people that, peoples that I've met with that have been able to, you know, help me. And, you know, I used to have a worriment of money w- was one of them. Um, just like you can inherit your parents' hair or you can inherit their eyes or you can inherit their, you know... I remember my dad used to be like, "Oh, I used to smile just like you do." You know, it's like you can inherit a smile. You can also inherit someone's fears. You can also inherit someone's beliefs that aren't in alignment with y- you know, your own and you feel very conflicted. Uh, you can inherit, uh, just a lot of, you can inherit, uh, pain. You can inherit racism. And you could be like, "Well, I'm not a racist person," but I know, I know someone who was like, "Bro, I'm, I'm not a racist person," but then they call every Black person a kid, you know? Or, "That's a g- that's a good kid." And I'm like, "You gotta watch yourself a little bit, man." That's like, you know, just pay attention to that 'cause you don't refer to people who are, who look like you as a kid.
11. JSJay Shetty
  Mm.
12. BSBig Sean
  And so you might refer to somebody who's a kid that's the same age, almost the same age as you, you know? So it's like you inherit these things, you may not even realize it, right? And it's important to just do the work on yourself because to, to push the next... It's like also breaking generational curses. It's like br- I broke one of the blockages I had, and now my family, uh, we are living, we are getting more of our dreams out. My mom is doing things that she never thought she would do. My dad, my brother, you know, um, we grew up in debt essentially and we, I had to break that. That was one of the blocks I had to break, was, uh, the block of m- of not be scared to have money, feel like there's a scarcity of money. And it's not, you know? It's, it's all just energy, right? And you can have as much energy as ne- as needed and, uh, to clear all these blocks. But, um, to get back to my point, it is so important to go through these blocks and these traumas because when you pass it on to not only just the next generation, you pass it on to the people around you, your friends, your family. You know, you are, you are the company you keep. And the more like-minded and better you are, the, the better everyone around you is, including your family, right? And you guys can have the opportunity to do anything that is possible. Anything you want. Any, any empire, any business, any ownership, things that you didn't even know was imaginable, but it all starts with you working on yourself, and that's the importance of, you know, the traumas. It's almost like, well, why would I wanna correct, you know, if cancer runs in our family, breast cancer runs in our family, why would I wanna correct that? Well, you wanna correct that so you don't pass it on.
13. JSJay Shetty
  Mm-hmm.
14. BSBig Sean
  And, you know, the vibration of cancer is a low vibration. You know what I'm saying? So, you know, uh, it's important to take care of ourselves and get rid of that trauma, but okay.
15. JSJay Shetty
  That was beaut- I'm so glad you went there.
16. BSBig Sean
  Yeah.
17. JSJay Shetty
  I'm so happy you went there-
18. BSBig Sean
  Yeah
19. JSJay Shetty
  ... because that, the idea of being aware of what we're inheriting-
20. BSBig Sean
  Mm-hmm
21. JSJay Shetty
  ... is so important, especially when you went that we are aware of we inherit what we wear and w- how we think and how we look, but then how we behave, how we communicate, how we talk to people, how we think about people-
22. BSBig Sean
  Yeah
23. JSJay Shetty
  ... how we think about women, how we think about men-
24. BSBig Sean
  Yeah
25. JSJay Shetty
  ... how we think about w-
26. BSBig Sean
  Oh, that's a good one
27. JSJay Shetty
  ... men.
28. BSBig Sean
  How you think about women and men.
29. JSJay Shetty
  Yeah.
30. BSBig Sean
  You know, that's another thing.
1:06:00 – 1:15:41
Balancing the distance in your relationship
1. JSJay Shetty
  friend, yeah.
2. BSBig Sean
  Yeah. How do, um, how do you balance, uh, the distance in your relationship, and is that necessary?
3. JSJay Shetty
  Yeah, I think for us, and, and I agree with you, by the way, like, I don't, there is no such thing as a perfect couple-
4. BSBig Sean
  Mm
5. JSJay Shetty
  ... perfect marriage, perfect relationship, so we should remove that idolization-
6. BSBig Sean
  Period. [laughs]
7. JSJay Shetty
  ... just as, just with everything. Just as we were talking about earlier, I've found that, I'll take a bit of a detour, but I find that as humans, we like to idolize or we like to demonize. So we demonize people.
8. BSBig Sean
  Ooh.
9. JSJay Shetty
  We go, "You-
10. BSBig Sean
  Yeah
11. JSJay Shetty
  ... are terrible. You're wrong. You're the worst."
12. BSBig Sean
  Mm.
13. JSJay Shetty
  Or we go, "You're the best. I love you, and I adore you." And sometimes the people we idolize become the same people we demonize when they let us down.
14. BSBig Sean
  All the time.
15. JSJay Shetty
  All the time.
16. BSBig Sean
  Yeah.
17. JSJay Shetty
  And so we don't have this ability, which what we talked about as monks, was neutralized.
18. BSBig Sean
  Ooh.
19. JSJay Shetty
  How do you just neutralize everything and look at it for what it is and look at it for the reality of it rather than idolize or demonize it? Just, just learn to accept. So-
20. BSBig Sean
  Yeah
21. JSJay Shetty
  ... when I look at my relationship, we found that when we first got married- I'd say in the first two years of our marriage, so my wife and I have been married for six years, and next year we will have been together for 10 years. So we've been together for nine years now-
22. BSBig Sean
  Mm-hmm
23. JSJay Shetty
  ... in total.
24. BSBig Sean
  Mm-hmm.
25. JSJay Shetty
  And the first two years of our marriage, I reckon we spent in total six to eight months apart in two years.
26. BSBig Sean
  Wow.
27. JSJay Shetty
  And the reason for that was because my wife missed her family in London.
28. BSBig Sean
  Mm-hmm.
29. JSJay Shetty
  We'd moved to New York because of my career.
30. BSBig Sean
  Right.
1:15:41 – 1:23:09
Find someone who you can exchange the same energy with
1. BSBig Sean
  when you have sex with someone who you feel are, you guys are equally energetically on the same level, that's how it's really supposed to be, right? Because in other, in, in, in other ways, I just hope people realize that because i- if not, if you're not with someone who you energetically feel like you're on the same level with, then that person could be taken away from you. It could r- throw you off track. It could uninspire you. It could do all these crazy things, so it's important to realize, um, the power, the energy-
2. JSJay Shetty
  Definitely
3. BSBig Sean
  ... that you have when you, when you're with somebody who can match your energy-
4. JSJay Shetty
  Definitely, and-
5. BSBig Sean
  ... sexually
6. JSJay Shetty
  ... no, absolutely, and I, I'm so glad you raised that because, so the Sanskrit word for celibacy-
7. BSBig Sean
  Mm-hmm
8. JSJay Shetty
  ... is brahmacharya. Now, celibacy in the Western world feels, sounds like abstaining from sex. That's what you think of the word celibacy.
9. BSBig Sean
  Mm-hmm.
10. JSJay Shetty
  Brahmacharya, it translates as the proper use or direction of energy. When you talk about a poor energy exchange, when you're just wasting energy, when there isn't an equal energetic exchange-
11. BSBig Sean
  Right
12. JSJay Shetty
  ... that's why we feel drained. We feel depleted. We feel o-
13. BSBig Sean
  Or afterwards, you're like, "Oh, this is a waste of my time," or like-
14. JSJay Shetty
  Totally, yeah
15. BSBig Sean
  ... oh, it... Any- however you feel, like-
16. JSJay Shetty
  Or many years later it takes. And-
17. BSBig Sean
  Yeah
18. JSJay Shetty
  ... but when you have someone of equal energy exchange, that impression is so much more powerful and deeper. And so I'm, I'm, I'm glad you brought that up because I guess the question, though, is, like, obviously when you meet someone, they're... We're all at different stages, even in our vibrational energy.
19. BSBig Sean
  Right.
20. JSJay Shetty
  How do you know? Because today, we live in a world where anyone can use the language. Everyone can say the word energy.
21. BSBig Sean
  Right, right, right.
22. JSJay Shetty
  Everyone can use the word vibration.
23. BSBig Sean
  Uh-huh. Right. [laughs]
24. JSJay Shetty
  Everyone can use all the lingo.
25. BSBig Sean
  Right.
26. JSJay Shetty
  And you think, "Oh, yeah, they... This person, like, they've been reading about chakras, and da, da, da, da," right?
27. BSBig Sean
  Mm-hmm.
28. JSJay Shetty
  How, how do you actually know that someone is of a similar energy in a relationship? Like, how, how do you, how do you look for that? Because... And I don't think there's a formula or there's a perfect science. I'm just saying, how do you look for that, or how have you found that and looked for that?
29. BSBig Sean
  There's only one way: feeling it. It's simple as that. You can... It's something you feel, and you have to really be in tune with yourself, right? That's another reason why working on yourself is so important, because the more you're in tune with yourself, the more you're able to feel like, "This isn't right," right? And it could make sense in a lot of other ways. You could be like, "Oh, this person is my ideal of, like, the perfect person in my head," you know, like physically, but it just doesn't... "Well, I don't care." Like, you disregard those feelings when you put that egotistical spin on things, right? Or you put the, like, the image or, like, the expectations or things, check marks you think you should be hitting. But it's really just a feeling process, and when you realize, you, you know, when you have the feeling of that feeling like you're just being productive-
30. JSJay Shetty
  Mm
1:23:09 – 1:27:55
Don’t give up on yourself
1. BSBig Sean
  me- there's no losing. You know, you can, you can maybe think you're losing, but you only lose when you stop. You know what I mean? There's no, no such thing as, as losing if you don't stop. It's only just learning and, like, developing and, and getting that experience and wiser. You know, you're just sharpening the sword, being more of a master, so. You know, stay strong. And everyone, I know some people, uh, don't know where they're gonna even sleep tonight. Some people are going through a cri- real, a real crisis in their life. And just know that I'm not just saying this to be politically correct or anything. Like, I really am sending you guys love. I really am sending you guys, like, some light and, uh, you know, that miracles can happen in your life and you accept that. You know, accept pl- like, accept your miracle 'cause they happen every, every day. And, um, yeah, thank you, you know? It's, uh, I don't know what else. There's new music.
2. JSJay Shetty
  That is beautiful.
3. BSBig Sean
  Yeah, new stuff coming out and, yeah, I don't know what else to say.
4. JSJay Shetty
  Yeah, I mean, everyone make sure you go and subscribe across all of Big Sean's platforms-
5. BSBig Sean
  Yeah, yeah
6. JSJay Shetty
  ... whether it's YouTube, whether it's Instagram-
7. BSBig Sean
  Uh-huh
8. JSJay Shetty
  ... whether it's Facebook, Spotify, Apple-
9. BSBig Sean
  Yeah
10. JSJay Shetty
  ... wherever you're listening.
11. BSBig Sean
  Yeah.
12. JSJay Shetty
  Uh, look out for him at Coachella this year.
13. BSBig Sean
  Oh, yeah. Crazy.
14. JSJay Shetty
  New music is dropping right now.
15. BSBig Sean
  Crazy. Crazy.
16. JSJay Shetty
  Is music dropping around the birthday as well?
17. BSBig Sean
  I don't know around the birthday-
18. JSJay Shetty
  No? Okay. Okay
19. BSBig Sean
  ... but probably more so around Coachella.
20. JSJay Shetty
  Okay, around Coachella.
21. BSBig Sean
  Yeah.
22. JSJay Shetty
  Okay. So-
23. BSBig Sean
  I'm thinking, I got some new music. I'm trying to see if I'm gonna, like, preview it there or put it out right before.
24. JSJay Shetty
  Got it. Got it.
25. BSBig Sean
  You know, figure it out.
26. JSJay Shetty
  Yeah.
27. BSBig Sean
  We're figuring it out. Me and Jhené have new music coming too together-
28. JSJay Shetty
  Yes
29. BSBig Sean
  ... so-
30. JSJay Shetty
  That's dope