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If You Feel LAZY, LOST & UNMOTIVATED, Watch This To CHANGE EVERYTHING In 2023 | Jim Kwik

Today I sit down with one of my good friends, Jim Kwik. Jim Kwik is a widely recognized world expert in brain performance, mental fitness and memory improvement.

Jim KwikguestJay Shettyhost

Nov 28, 202250mWatch on YouTube

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Transcript

55 min read · 11,166 words

0:00 – 2:17
Intro
1. JKJim Kwik
  Maybe you're not burnt out 'cause you're doing too much, maybe you feel burnt out 'cause you're doing too little-
2. JSJay Shetty
  Yeah
3. JKJim Kwik
  ... of the things that make you feel alive-
4. JSJay Shetty
  Yeah
5. JKJim Kwik
  ... the th- the things that really light you up. The bestselling author and host.
6. JSJay Shetty
  The number one health and wellness podcast. On Purpose with Jay Shetty. Hey, everyone. Welcome back to On Purpose, the number one health podcast in the world, thanks to each and every single one of you that come back every week to listen, learn, and grow. Now, I know that you're here because you wanna be happy, you want to be healthy, and you wanna heal. I think that's why I'm here, too. When I sit down with a guest, that's what I'm hoping to do. I'm hoping to find moments of happiness, moments of health advice, and moments of healing. But one of the things I've been discovering lately that I wanna let you in on is when I'm doing these interviews, some of the guests that I'm speaking to have phenomenal journeys and stories, but some of them also I get the opportunity to co-create with. I wanna, like, discover new ideas while we're in the podcast. I wanna find new insights that we never even considered before. I want to take a moment to really see if we can let down our guard, let go of what we know, and maybe go into the unknown in a conversation. And today's guest is someone who's going to allow us to do just that. He's the foremost brain coach. He's an incredible author and an amazing podcaster, my dear friend, Jim Kwik, the author of Limitless. If you don't have this book, it is a phenomenal read. I highly recommend it. And the first time Jim came on the podcast, the book wasn't out yet, so I couldn't tell you about it. Uh, but I really hope that you'll check it out. Jim, welcome back to On Purpose. It's so great to have you here. When we first did this, and I want everyone to know this, when we first launched the podcast, you were, I think you were one of the guests within our first six months. You were in my apartment, we, where we used to shoot, and it was so kind and gracious of you to come on. We were just starting out. We were just figuring out what On Purpose was, and you supported us, and it means the world to me, so I'll never forget that. But I love, we were chatting offline before, which I loved, and we were talking about how we wanted this conversation to be special. I mean, that's what you asked me, "How do I make this conversation special? How do we make it different?" And that's where this idea came from, is when we're sitting with someone, it's like, how can we, like, go back and forth and-
7. JKJim Kwik
  Yeah
8. JSJay Shetty
  ... and, you know, spark something new? But you, you asked me something and, and that's where I kind of wanna start because it's kind of hopefully gonna lead us down a, a,
2:17 – 5:02
Is this limitation real or not?
1. JSJay Shetty
  a random path, which I love. I-- And I'll tell you this story. So I called up someone the other day, and it's someone in my world, and I said to them, "I have this idea, and I really wanna do this. I think it would be amazing." And the first thing they said to me was, "Jay, those things don't usually happen," right? "That's not really possible." Like, "That's, that's not, like, the most probable, likely thing that we could make happen for you." Now, when I hear those kind of things, and we're talking about limitless and limitations, when I hear a limitation like that, my mind goes to the fact that it's never been done is why I want to do it.
2. JKJim Kwik
  Right.
3. JSJay Shetty
  Like, that's what attracted to me in the first place. If it was already done, then why would I wanna do it again? And so I wanted to start there with you and go, how do we know if a limitation is real or not? Like, how do you know?
4. JKJim Kwik
  Yeah.
5. JSJay Shetty
  Because we all have limitations.
6. JKJim Kwik
  I have-- I love this conversation. I think the majority of limits are, are learned, and, uh, and I could give you stories and anecdotes around that and some, some research. Um, I think my purpose in life, because I was labeled limited in a way, we talked about this, um, when I was on your show earlier about having my traumatic brain injury and being labeled the boy with the broken brain and my learning difficulties. I want to offer real hope and real help to those who are told they are, were limited in some way. You know, and I really don't believe that the sky's the limit. I believe our, our minds are the limit. There are all kinds of examples every day that when we change our mindset, some kind of form of our motivation or the methods we're using, that we could do things that-- We could redraw the borders and boundaries of what's possible.
7. JSJay Shetty
  Yeah.
8. JKJim Kwik
  And, and you, you exemplify that. You embody this, this idea of, of becoming more limitless.
9. JSJay Shetty
  Well, I think it was for me, too, and thank you for saying that. But I think it was the same thing for me, where I had also subscribed to the limits I thought society placed on me.
10. JKJim Kwik
  Right.
11. JSJay Shetty
  And when you start to break one limit, and you see this, like, light shining through a crack, and you're like, "Oh, like, this limit can actually be broken," you then start thinking, "Well, how many limits can we break?" Right?
12. JKJim Kwik
  Right.
13. JSJay Shetty
  Like, that's where I'm at right now, but I wasn't always like that. I think it's important to talk about that, that there was a time in my life where I was living in the rules, within the barriers, and now I'm at a place in my life where I'm like, "Well, which barriers can we push?" And that journey for me has been an exciting one and a fun one. Tell me now, like, what do you think is the difference between open-mindedness, like believing in the limitless-
14. JKJim Kwik
  Yeah
15. JSJay Shetty
  ... versus delusion? Because there's also a fine line on that side as well.
5:02 – 6:03
Open mindedness vs. delusion
1. JSJay Shetty
  Like, w- is there a line? And how have you thought about that? And even if we don't have an answer, I wanna figure that out with you. Yeah.
2. JKJim Kwik
  Let's do it.
3. JSJay Shetty
  Yeah.
4. JKJim Kwik
  I think behind-- And to get any kind of result in our life, we need to do, uh, a behavior, a new behavior or a new set of behaviors. I think in order to be able to execute that behavior, we need a, a mindset or a belief that allows that to be possible. The one that's very famous, you know, Roger Bannister in, in the 1950s, he broke the four-minute mile. And what happened after that, right? Other people started breaking it, and there weren't big advancements in shoe technology, nutritional support, training methodologies, but there was a change in, in belief about what was possible, 'cause it wasn't a real limit. Um, and so even when people are training, um, he wasn't necessarily delusional. I don't think just because if you believe it, it doesn't mean it's gonna happen. But I feel like if we don't believe it, it dramatically recrus- reduces the chance-
5. JSJay Shetty
  Mm. Mm
6. JKJim Kwik
  ... of it happening.
7. JSJay Shetty
  Mm.
8. JKJim Kwik
  You know, because-
9. JSJay Shetty
  Yeah
10. JKJim Kwik
  ... we don't act accordingly.
11. JSJay Shetty
  Yeah.
12. JKJim Kwik
  You know, and so many people, they're shrinking what's possible to fit their minds, and I would always say,
6:03 – 11:15
The power of choice
1. JKJim Kwik
  "What if we did the opposite? What if we expanded our minds in this situation to fit more of what's really possible?"
2. JSJay Shetty
  Yeah, yeah. I think that's a great, great answer. You're so right. It's, it's fascinating how everything is just a thought. I was talking to- A couple of friends couple of nights ago, and I was talking to him about the, the hernia surgery that I just went through, and he was saying to me like, "How tough was it?" And I had a tough version of it. We were just talking about it. Some people wake up, and in the next 24 hours they're fine. It's taken me four weeks to feel 50% again. Right? Like that, that's how I feel, maybe 50, 60% again.
3. JKJim Kwik
  And I know people who have gone through for 12 months.
4. JSJay Shetty
  Right.
5. JKJim Kwik
  And they're still healing through the process.
6. JSJay Shetty
  Yeah, people are still going through it. And so he said to me, he was just like, "Do you, like, how did you not let yourself get depressed?" 'Cause like the first week I couldn't walk, uh, and I had something called atelectasis, which is like a partial collapse of the lung, so I couldn't breathe every three breaths almost. And then my wife rushed me to a hospital, uh, to ER like one morning at 3:00 AM because they thought I might have blood clots, and I didn't thankfully. And then the second week when I started to walk, it was still like on and off pain. It was very uncertain. I then ended up getting back pain, 'cause I was on my back for so long. I couldn't lie on either side, 'cause I had it on both sides. And so then my back was like, so I was waking up at 3:00 AM every day for three weeks because I couldn't sleep anymore 'cause my back was hurting, so I was walking around at 3:00 AM. I couldn't sit to meditate. I was doing walking meditations. And he was like, "How did you not get depressed during that time?" And, and I said to him that for me it was the power of my mind, and it was a story. It was like I'd lost the strength in my body for sure, but I kept repeating to myself, "I'm happy, I'm healthy, I'm healing. I'm happy, I'm healthy, I'm healing."
7. JKJim Kwik
  Yeah.
8. JSJay Shetty
  And what I was saying to him, it, it's not that because I said that I was happy, healthy, and healing-
9. JKJim Kwik
  Right
10. JSJay Shetty
  ... it's that I had a choice of a thought, which is what you're saying, a belief that I could have either believed I'm sad, I'm hurting, and it's all over, or I'm happy, I'm healthy, and, and I'm healing. And as, just as you said, it's not that that belief or that thought made me better.
11. JKJim Kwik
  Sure.
12. JSJay Shetty
  But it's just that if I didn't have [laughs] that thought, it would've been way harder to get through that pain. And so I love that, to see that in practice what you just said for me was huge.
13. JKJim Kwik
  You know, in, in Limitless I talk about seven lies to learning. 'Cause my, my, my wheelhouse is teaching accelerated learning, teaching people how to read faster, learn languages, remember people's names, improve their memory, focus. And, uh, LIE for me is, is, stands for limited idea entertained.
14. JSJay Shetty
  Hmm.
15. JKJim Kwik
  A limited idea entertained.
16. JSJay Shetty
  So good.
17. JKJim Kwik
  And it's, it's getting us to self-reflect on, you know, is it really that you're too old or you're not smart enough? People come to me at events after they see me do these memory demonstrations, or maybe I'll remember people's names or do something, and they'll say, "Jim, I'm just not smart enough. I have a horrible memory." And I always say, "Stop. If you fight your limitations, you get to keep them."
18. JSJay Shetty
  Oh, yeah.
19. JKJim Kwik
  If you fight your limits, they're yours. And often we don't know the, you know, the power of our mind. Uh, you know, it's, I mentioned this last time, but it's like your brain is this incredible supercomputer, and your self-talk, your thoughts are the program it will run.
20. JSJay Shetty
  Mm-hmm.
21. JKJim Kwik
  So if you tell yourself, "I'm not good at remembering people's names," you won't remember the name of the next person you meet because you programmed your supercomputer not to. So how do you transcend these lies? How do you end the trance? Because these lies, these were learned, right? This idea that genius is born, this, uh, this idea that we're only using, you know, a small fraction of our, our brain.
22. JSJay Shetty
  Hmm.
23. JKJim Kwik
  Like 10% or something like that. And you can unravel these lies. There's a, and you mentioned a very key word. Um, I put a quote in the book from a French philosopher, and he says, "Life is the C between B and D."
24. JSJay Shetty
  Hmm.
25. JKJim Kwik
  Life is the letter C between B and D. B stands for birth, D stands for death. Life, C, and you said it, choice.
26. JSJay Shetty
  Hmm.
27. JKJim Kwik
  That I, I really do believe that our lives are the sum total of all the choices we've made up to this point. You know, what are we gonna eat? What are we gonna feed our minds?
28. JSJay Shetty
  Yeah.
29. JKJim Kwik
  Who are we gonna spend time with? Where are we gonna live? You know, all of our, you know, what are we gonna believe?
30. JSJay Shetty
  Yeah.
11:15 – 14:59
Limitations are safe
1. JSJay Shetty
  I knew that-"
2. JKJim Kwik
  And you're validated.
3. JSJay Shetty
  And you're validated, exactly. It's like you, you're looking for that. So how is a feeling that makes us feel safe actually sometimes the thing that's blocking us from feeling great?
4. JKJim Kwik
  Yeah. I think a lot of us, we wanna, you know, we're, our nervous system is not necessarily set up for growth. I think in the beginning it is, until we've had some kind of a pain or trauma. Then and we wanna be able to survive and keep ourselves safe. Um, there's this idea that, let's say, negativity or pessimists are accurate more because they, maybe they set that standard or that belief a little bit, um, more achievable. Uh, but optimists maybe are, succeed more because of it-
5. JSJay Shetty
  Hmm
6. JKJim Kwik
  ... because they have that kind of moonshot idea or, or they're thinking, um. The brain really wants to keep you, keep you alive, right? And it doesn't wanna change. It takes effort. It takes energy-
7. JSJay Shetty
  Mm-hmm
8. JKJim Kwik
  ... to be able to achieve your goals. You know, there's this thing I saw on Twitter the other day saying, "Life is hard for one of two reasons: either because you're leaving your comfort zone-" ... life can be very hard, or because you're staying in your comfort zone.
9. JSJay Shetty
  Mm.
10. JKJim Kwik
  If people thought about change, which ultimately, you know, most people want, if they're healthy, some area of their life, relationships, health, career, something, um, and they're looking outside and they want to achieve something else, it's a lot safer to be able to say, to keep something realistic.
11. JSJay Shetty
  Mm-hmm.
12. JKJim Kwik
  With- without a doubt. And I'm, I'm like that way also.
13. JSJay Shetty
  Yeah, yeah, of course. Of course, yeah.
14. JKJim Kwik
  You know, for things, you know, in terms of my book deadlines, would be kind of realistic, is it even possible to get it done in X amount of time? And I also find that part of getting results is reaching, and then, you know, and then stabi- like you stretch and then you stabilize.
15. JSJay Shetty
  Yeah.
16. JKJim Kwik
  And then you stretch, and you stabilize. You can't be s- I don't feel like we can be stretching all the time.
17. JSJay Shetty
  Agreed.
18. JKJim Kwik
  That you could reach, reach, reach, but you have to recover. You have to replenish.
19. JSJay Shetty
  Yeah.
20. JKJim Kwik
  You have to, you have to be able to rest-
21. JSJay Shetty
  Yeah
22. JKJim Kwik
  ... also as well.
23. JSJay Shetty
  Yeah. I'm trying to, I'm trying to add to that because I know we both like alliteration, but it's like-
24. JKJim Kwik
  Yeah
25. JSJay Shetty
  ... stretch, stabilize, and then forego. Like, there's also, what, what's... Ah, sacrifice, I guess.
26. JKJim Kwik
  Yeah.
27. JSJay Shetty
  Like, but in a positive sense of-
28. JKJim Kwik
  Or even surrender.
29. JSJay Shetty
  Surrender, yeah.
30. JKJim Kwik
  Yeah.
14:59 – 18:57
Transformation is like a butterfly
1. JKJim Kwik
  where there's this kid playing in the backyard-
2. JSJay Shetty
  Mm
3. JKJim Kwik
  ... when his parents are in the house, and he comes across, uh, a caterpillar. And he d- he wasn't allowed any pets, but he wanted to make this caterpillar his pet. So he runs in, talks to his parents saying, "Can I keep it? Can I keep it?" And the mother says, "Yes, but you have to take care of it. You have to be able to feed it and everything," and she gives him a Mason jar, puts a little hole in it. And then he goes there and he opens it up, and he puts, like leaves in there for the, for the caterpillar to eat and a little tree branch for it to climb. And then, uh, and one day, as you can imagine, it spins this cocoon and, you know, the boy is enthralled, is bewildered at this process of life. And, but he gets a little impatient, because he knows what's coming, right? That it's gonna emerge as a butterfly. And, uh, and then one day, lo and behold, there's, he could see a little crack open up. And, uh, and, but he gets impatient because it's taking too long, so he runs inside his house and he grabs scissors, and he, uh, he walks back outside because he knows he's not supposed to run with those scissors. [laughs] But he, he clips it, um, that hole open to be able to allow it, um, to be able to get free. But an interesting thing happened. When this creature came out, it didn't look like a butterfly. It kind of looked like a butterfly, but it didn't really. Um, it, the, the wings were very shriveled, the, the body was very swollen, and, um, and it didn't fly. You know, this thing he was looking forward to. And he cries to his parents, and the parents ask what happened, and he was explaining how he cut it open. And, um, and they explained to him, because he was trying to make it easy for that creature, that that creature didn't have to develop the strength, right? And he actually, when it pushes through that hole is when it takes the, the, the fluids inside of its body and it nourishes and goes out to the wings.
4. JSJay Shetty
  Mm.
5. JKJim Kwik
  And then it can become that butterfly and soar to new heights. And, uh, and I guess I bring this up because I feel like even the past few years, people feel like maybe they were cocooning, you know, and they were in this place and they were alone. Alone with their thoughts, alone with, um, you know, their fears. They might be even feeling alone, and you and I have talked in many conversations about mental health and, uh, how it, you know, how our brain health is affecting our mental health. And, uh, and I would say that, um, through struggles sometimes there is, there's strength. You know, my, my struggles growing up were learning.
6. JSJay Shetty
  Mm.
7. JKJim Kwik
  Uh, it was public speaking. You know, you know, life has a sense of humor because that's all I do is public speak on this thing called learning. But, you know, disadvantage, within the word disadvantage, there's that word advantage, right? And I always feel like there's some kind of advantage within, within every disadvantage.
8. JSJay Shetty
  Yeah. Yeah, and it's hard to, it's hard to see that when you're in it.
9. JKJim Kwik
  When you're inside the jar or-
10. JSJay Shetty
  Yeah
11. JKJim Kwik
  ... inside the cocoon.
12. JSJay Shetty
  Inside the cocoon, it's so hard to see it. But I think looking back at previous cocoons-
13. JKJim Kwik
  Mm-hmm
14. JSJay Shetty
  ... and seeing how you emerged is often the best bet you have. It's almost like I know, I remember when I was at school, I'd always be like, "Well, last year I did well in my exams, so how do I do well this year? Let me remember what I did last year."
15. JKJim Kwik
  Mm-hmm.
16. JSJay Shetty
  And that's a very small example, but even now it's like when I went through this surgery, the last surgery I had was when I lost my voice and I had polyps in my throat, which was around 10 years ago.
17. JKJim Kwik
  Mm.
18. JSJay Shetty
  And so for like, I remember at that time for months on end, I was drinking out of a straw and, like, I couldn't speak, and I had a whiteboard where I would write things to my parents and my, my sister and my mom who were taking care of me. And- I was like, "Okay, well, I got through that surgery. Like, what, what mindset did I need?"
19. JKJim Kwik
  Yeah.
20. JSJay Shetty
  Like, what can I do now? Or what did I not do that time that I should get right now? And so I find, like, reflection is such a great tool to overcome limitations, and I think reflecting on your own life, and this is the part that I think... I wanna, I wanna talk about this with you-
21. JKJim Kwik
  Right
22. JSJay Shetty
  ... because I, I don't know the answer, and I don't think we've talked about this before. But we get so fascinated reflecting on other people's lives, right? What is the news? What is pop culture news? What is mainstream media doing? You're spending your whole day reflecting on someone else's life. So and so cheated on someone, so and so messed
18:57 – 22:11
Reflecting on someone else’s life
1. JSJay Shetty
  up the world record, like, didn't make it.
2. JKJim Kwik
  Right.
3. JSJay Shetty
  Uh, so and so, like, you know, they, they fell off stage when they were performing their song or whatever it is, right?
4. JKJim Kwik
  Right.
5. JSJay Shetty
  Like, there's, there's, like, this negative reflection on everyone else's life, but rarely do we carve out the time to reflect on our own life. Why do you think that is, and, and where does that come from? And I just wanna hear your thoughts-
6. JKJim Kwik
  Yeah
7. JSJay Shetty
  ... on that because reflection is something we all know how to do. We just don't necessarily do it inward.
8. JKJim Kwik
  I, I think it can be an incredible advantage also, reflection. I mean, when you reflect on something, you're harnessing the power of your memory. And, you know, as, as the memory coach, you know, I feel like it's not just remembering facts and figures and foreign languages, uh, or speeches or things that can make you more productive in your performance. It's also reflecting and remembering the things that, that give you confidence and certainty moving, moving forward. That reflection can be a superpower. That hindsight could lead to foresight. So many people forget about their wins. You know, they forget sometimes of the things that they overcame. You know, I al- and so many people are scared of, you know, someone watching this or listening to right now could be afraid of making a mistake and looking bad. You know, I always tell people, "Well, if you make a mistake, you make it OLD. O-L-D." And everything's an acronym. [laughs] O is you, you own it. You know, we don't put it outside of ourselves. We don't become a victim. Uh, we apologize if we hurt somebody. We fix it if we can. Uh, we take responsibility for it, uh, because that allows us to be able to make it better. The L is you learn from it.
9. JSJay Shetty
  Mm.
10. JKJim Kwik
  And that's why we make mistakes, right? They're stepping stones to make us a better person if we learn from it, that there's, maybe there's no failure. Maybe there's feedback. Or maybe there's no, you know, you're not failing, maybe just failing to learn something.
11. JSJay Shetty
  Mm.
12. JKJim Kwik
  And so you wanna be able to do that. But then the D is, is really where it lands. The D is don't repeat it.
13. JSJay Shetty
  Mm.
14. JKJim Kwik
  'Cause so many people can learn in the moment, but then they repeat it.
15. JSJay Shetty
  Mm.
16. JKJim Kwik
  They, they, they, they repeat that mistake in their relationships or in their dating life. They repeat it. They forget what that, that junk food made them feel like, you know, afterwards, or staying up late at night-
17. JSJay Shetty
  Yeah
18. JKJim Kwik
  ... you know, did, you know, in terms of ruining their sleep and hurting their peace of mind the next day. So don't repeat it because, you know, insanity, doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result. And sometimes it's not insanity. Maybe sometimes it's just not managing our memory-
19. JSJay Shetty
  Mm
20. JKJim Kwik
  ... you know, and remembering that those moments, hindsight where we've made w- you know, where like, everyone right now can imagine a time where they felt like they couldn't survive.
21. JSJay Shetty
  Yeah.
22. JKJim Kwik
  You know, uh, that they couldn't go any further, and the truth is, if they're listening to this, they did.
23. JSJay Shetty
  Yeah.
24. JKJim Kwik
  They did survive it. You know, and to be able to acknowledge it. Part of self-care is, and self-love, is looking at that person in the mirror, and, you know, that person's been through so much but it, but is still standing.
25. JSJay Shetty
  Yeah.
26. JKJim Kwik
  You know, and it's, and reflecting on that, um, in terms of how far we've come.
27. JSJay Shetty
  Yeah. Memory is such a tricky thing, like, in the sense of not just, like, remembering something. What I mean by that is we all know that there's a song from our past, that it clicks on, and almost all of a sudden you're feeling nostalgia.
28. JKJim Kwik
  Right.
29. JSJay Shetty
  And you're, like, remembering that moment when you were at college or whatever it was or right. You can go back to that place. So memory works in that way, but memory also works in the opposite way. Like, I was
22:11 – 24:05
Pain makes you present
1. JSJay Shetty
  thinking to myself that, you know, just a few weeks ago I couldn't walk, and I was walking really slowly. I was, like, really dealing with the pain. I was like, "Okay, I never, you know, I wanna be so mindful and da da da da." And then as soon as you start to feel better, it's so easy to just forget all of that-
2. JKJim Kwik
  Yeah
3. JSJay Shetty
  ... and just start walking normally again and being not mindful. And it's almost like that where it's like pain makes you really present and conscious and there, and then all of a sudden when pain goes away, you're not present anymore, and you kind of just get on with your life.
4. JKJim Kwik
  Mm-hmm.
5. JSJay Shetty
  And so I find it weird that sometimes our memory's so strong, and sometimes it's so weak. Also, when people have had a really painful trauma in the past, that pain stays with us, and that we almost don't let go of enough.
6. JKJim Kwik
  Mm.
7. JSJay Shetty
  But then sometimes when we've had certain pains, we let them go too quick. It's, it's almost like how long pain stays with you is s- or pleasure stays with you is such a weird concept, and I guess what you're saying is that there are certain types of pain that we have to learn to let go. There are certain types of pain that we need to remember in order to not repeat-
8. JKJim Kwik
  Right
9. JSJay Shetty
  ... the same mistake, and it's like how do you know which one's which?
10. JKJim Kwik
  Right.
11. JSJay Shetty
  Like, you know, or, or how do you process it?
12. JKJim Kwik
  And even in relationships a lot of, we had a lot of emotional pain, uh, mental anguish in relationships sometimes. And, you know, it's even when you're thinking about forgiving someone. You could forgive them and but not forget in terms of the lesson that they taught you. And even adversity, I mean, do you feel part of it is in hindsight I think about what's the meaning of this?
13. JSJay Shetty
  Mm.
14. JKJim Kwik
  Right? That's a choice that we can make at any given time. Do you think that what you went through most recently with your surgery, do you think it's-- do you look at it in any way as what is this teaching me?
15. JSJay Shetty
  Yeah, yeah. Always. I, I think for me, I mean, there's a lot of lessons in it. One thing is I, I consider myself to be quite a mindful, healthy individual. I try and eat healthy.
16. JKJim Kwik
  Mm-hmm.
17. JSJay Shetty
  I work out.
18. JKJim Kwik
  Yeah.
19. JSJay Shetty
  I sleep healthy. I have good rhythms and routines. I definitely push the optimal performance
24:05 – 26:27
Living slow-paced
1. JSJay Shetty
  button. Like, I'm, like, definitely always trying to figure that out, and I think things like this are very humbling. Uh-
2. JKJim Kwik
  Yeah
3. JSJay Shetty
  ... and, and that's how I [laughs] that's the biggest meaning I take away from all of this stuff is you're not the controller. You're not Superman.
4. JKJim Kwik
  Right.
5. JSJay Shetty
  You're not, you haven't figured everything out. Like, they're very humbling. They re- uh, they make you realize you're still in- ... a human body and you have to deal with the ups and downs of it. Uh, the second thing I think I took away from this whole journey was, uh, how much I've enjoyed being slow.
6. JKJim Kwik
  Hmm.
7. JSJay Shetty
  Like, it's... I, I consider myself, like, and when I say slow, I mean, like, I consider myself to be present mentally, but I think I'm quite fast physically, and I live a fast life physically. And mental presence is a beautiful thing when you live fast, but having physical presence also, which this surgery made me have-
8. JKJim Kwik
  Right
9. JSJay Shetty
  ... for the first time in a long time, probably since I was a kid, like, I can't remem- I've literally felt like there were times when I was teaching myself how to slowly walk again, and I put pressure on my feet, and I was like, "Wait a minute, it's really nice living life this slow. Like, this is actually really special. Like, I hope I can hold on to elements of this."
10. JKJim Kwik
  Mm-hmm.
11. JSJay Shetty
  And yesterday it was funny because I was with my friends in New York City, and we were on a walk, and usually we looked at it, it was like 20 minutes to get somewhere, and the store was gonna close in 30 minutes. And I know that if I was walking that path like five months ago, I would've been like, "We can do that in 10."
12. JKJim Kwik
  Right, right, right.
13. JSJay Shetty
  Like, that's what I would've said. And I said to my friend yesterday, I was like, "Look, I think I'm gonna do it in probably like 23 minutes because I'm slower right now."
14. JKJim Kwik
  Right.
15. JSJay Shetty
  "And so we're only gonna get seven minutes at the store, so if you guys wanna go ahead, you guys go ahead and I'm gonna walk at my pace." And we walked there and we got there in 23 minutes, and it was absolutely fine, but it was even just me having that shift, I was like, "Wow, I'm really appreciating walking at this pace. Even though I could get more done before, there's, there's a certain joy in moving at this pace." So I fully agree with you. I think there's so much meaning, so many lessons, and that is the only way to live. I mean, you know, if you don't live that way-
16. JKJim Kwik
  Yeah
17. JSJay Shetty
  ... it just ends up being another inconvenience.
18. JKJim Kwik
  Well, we certainly all, everybody could as- you know, we have this shared adversity, right? It comes in different forms. You know, I mentioned my s- challenges were learning public speaking. As an adult, I had severe sleep issues from sleep apnea, obstructive, and I would st- I would, for five years I slept 90 minutes a night, and it was really, it was just tearing my mind apart.
19. JSJay Shetty
  That's crazy.
20. JKJim Kwik
  Yeah. This is one of the things... And it wasn't straight, it was very interrupted.
26:27 – 29:42
Peace of mind
1. JSJay Shetty
  That's hard.
2. JKJim Kwik
  I would stop breathing. It was more of a genetic thing, and I would stop breathing 240 times a night. Each time was like 10 seconds. And I did a series of surgeries, and I know how, how humbling that could be. You know, and sometimes being reminded, um, that we aren't always the, the, the super man or woman or-
3. JSJay Shetty
  Yeah
4. JKJim Kwik
  ... or girl, um, you know, there's, there's a, there's a great foundation for, for curiosity.
5. JSJay Shetty
  Mm-hmm.
6. JKJim Kwik
  So what can I learn from this? Um, a great appreciation to cultivate gratitude.
7. JSJay Shetty
  Yeah.
8. JKJim Kwik
  You know, I think what you appreciate tends to appreciate-
9. JSJay Shetty
  Yeah
10. JKJim Kwik
  ... you know, in our life for, for sure. And gratitude rewires our nervous system for greater productivity, for greater, uh, performance, and certainly greater peace.
11. JSJay Shetty
  Mm-hmm.
12. JKJim Kwik
  You know, and I think peace of mind is high currency today.
13. JSJay Shetty
  Totally.
14. JKJim Kwik
  Without a doubt. Um, with my sleep though, you know, and that was a very painful surgery. It was different than when you're a kid taking your... And they took out my tonsils, my uvula, my soft palate, and I, I was, you know, for, for weeks couldn't breathe, couldn't eat, couldn't do anything. Um, but I think what I learned from my sleep issues, you know, there, there was a gift in it. You know, when I would be able to read and remember and focus and con- you know. So I got to, you know, live what I teach and practice what I preach.
15. JSJay Shetty
  That's what it is. Yeah.
16. JKJim Kwik
  You know?
17. JSJay Shetty
  That's what it is.
18. JKJim Kwik
  That's a big thing.
19. JSJay Shetty
  Yeah.
20. JKJim Kwik
  And then the other part of it is I found out that, you know, everything I did was, you know, for a reason. Like, there's nowhere else I'd rather be right now, right? I would always say, you know, "Heck yes," or, "Heck no." Um, because I think a lot of people get tired and because they have too many tabs open. Or maybe some people watching right now feel burnt out because they're doing too much. Maybe you're not burnt out because you're doing too much, maybe you feel burnt out because you're doing too little-
21. JSJay Shetty
  Yeah
22. JKJim Kwik
  ... of the things that make you feel alive-
23. JSJay Shetty
  Yeah
24. JKJim Kwik
  ... the, the things that really light you up. And, you know, being in that cocoon, part of it is y- you could get clarity. You know, I think solitude when we choose to slow down and have, you know, get space from noise, um, and when you say yes to somebody or something, you're not saying no to yourself.
25. JSJay Shetty
  Mm-hmm.
26. JKJim Kwik
  And I think clarity, using time just even five, 10 minutes a day to just clarify what's... Sometimes when you're going 100 miles an hour-
27. JSJay Shetty
  Yeah
28. JKJim Kwik
  ... you're not thinking about, "Oh, am I going in the right direction?"
29. JSJay Shetty
  Yeah.
30. JKJim Kwik
  Right? And asking yourself a simple question like, "What's, what's most important to me, you know, in my life?"
29:42 – 32:11
Having options
1. JSJay Shetty
  about what I did. It was just what I needed to do to pay the bills and, and take care of things. What gave me more confidence was that I always would know if I had other options of what I could do.
2. JKJim Kwik
  Right.
3. JSJay Shetty
  And I would have to entertain options in order to realize that I wasn't as limited as I thought I was. Because there was a part of me that believed, I was like, "Well, this is all I can do. This is the only qualification I have. Like, no one else would give me a job."
4. JKJim Kwik
  Yeah.
5. JSJay Shetty
  And then there was a part of me that was like, "Well, that's not true, actually. I could change and shift and do this and do that." I think often we limit the number of options we think we have. It's, it's almost like going back to that, uh, Edison quote of like, "I didn't fail 10,000 times. I just found 9,999 ways not to do it." And I think there's a, there's a deeper thought from him that I loved when he said- And this is something I always hold onto, and Edison said, "When you think you've exhausted all options, remember this: you haven't."
6. JKJim Kwik
  Right.
7. JSJay Shetty
  And, and I've always loved that because sometimes I feel like that. That sometimes I'm trying to make something happen, right? Maybe you're trying to get a book deal. Maybe someone's trying to get a podcast deal. Maybe someone's trying to raise a million dollars to, to save, you know, a group of people from something that they're struggling with.
8. JKJim Kwik
  Yeah.
9. JSJay Shetty
  And you try everything, and then none of them work, and you think, "Oh, well, it's just not meant to happen." But Edison's take is-
10. JKJim Kwik
  Yeah
11. JSJay Shetty
  ... well, there's another op- How do you kind of live for that one more?
12. JKJim Kwik
  Yeah.
13. JSJay Shetty
  Does that make sense? Yeah.
14. JKJim Kwik
  It d- it do- it does. They, they say that the problem is rarely the problem. The problem is our attitude about the problem.
15. JSJay Shetty
  Yeah.
16. JKJim Kwik
  You know, with, with options, it's ... They've, they've shown where it's one of those things where if you're, if you're limited to one option or two options you don't really have a, a whole lot of choice.
17. JSJay Shetty
  Mm-hmm.
18. JKJim Kwik
  But also, if you have too many options, you might not actually do anything-
19. JSJay Shetty
  Yeah, yeah
20. JKJim Kwik
  ... because you s- you struggle with decision fatigue, right? You have, you have the menu is, like, 50 pages long, and then it, there's, you have this overwhelm.
21. JSJay Shetty
  Mm-hmm.
22. JKJim Kwik
  And our brain primarily is in more of a deletion device. It's trying to keep options out or information out, otherwise we'd b- go, become overloaded and, and also overwhelmed.
23. JSJay Shetty
  Yeah.
24. JKJim Kwik
  And so that, that, that's a big part of it. You know, something I, I teach in everything, whenever I'm working with a client, I just look through f- one framework, and I call it the Limitless Model. And maybe this will shed light, and we can have a conversation about this.
25. JSJay Shetty
  Mm-hmm.
26. JKJim Kwik
  Where I believe limits are learned in one of three areas. And so if everybody ... Let- We could turn this into, like, a little exercise.
27. JSJay Shetty
  Yeah.
28. JKJim Kwik
  If everybody could think of an area where you feel limited. All right? So just think of any area where you feel like ... And limitless
32:11 – 41:46
The Limitless Model
1. JKJim Kwik
  is, for me, is not about, like, being perfect. Limitless is about advancing or progressing-
2. JSJay Shetty
  Yeah
3. JKJim Kwik
  ... beyond what you currently believe or demonstrating is possible.
4. JSJay Shetty
  Mm-hmm. I've got one.
5. JKJim Kwik
  And so if every- if everybody thinks about an area of their health, maybe it's a relationship, where do you feel like you're stuck?
6. JSJay Shetty
  Yeah.
7. JKJim Kwik
  Like you're not advancing. Where do you feel like you're in a box?
8. JSJay Shetty
  Mm-hmm.
9. JKJim Kwik
  Now, that box by definition is three-dimensional, right? And there's three forces that contain that box, but there are also three for- These are the same three forces that will liberate you-
10. JSJay Shetty
  Mm-hmm
11. JKJim Kwik
  ... out of that box and help you become more limitless. So imagine they're, that they're re- being represented by three intersecting circles. Some people are familiar with a Venn diagram. It's kinda like Mickey Mouse. Two ears, two circles, and then a face.
12. JSJay Shetty
  Mm-hmm.
13. JKJim Kwik
  Right? And they, and they overlap. So the first one is your mindset, and so I believe that our mindset is something ... Like, I wasn't born with this idea that I had a broken brain. It was imprinted on me, right?
14. JSJay Shetty
  Mm-hmm.
15. JKJim Kwik
  And, and our mindset comes from our experience, through our external environment, um, uh, you know, through, through other people's expectations, and mindset I'm defining as the, your attitudes and assumptions about something. Your attitudes, assumptions about what's possible. Your attitudes and assumptions about what you're capable of. 'Cause you could believe it's possible for somebody else to have that loving relationship or build that big business or have-
16. JSJay Shetty
  Mm-hmm
17. JKJim Kwik
  ... 100,000 followers, but you might not believe your, it's possible for you, and you can still be stuck in that box.
18. JSJay Shetty
  Mm-hmm.
19. JKJim Kwik
  Um, besides what is possible, what you, what you're capable of, what you believe you deserve.
20. JSJay Shetty
  Mm-hmm.
21. JKJim Kwik
  Right? A lot of people might be stuck in that box because they might know the right methods and might be motivated, but they're, they don't believe that they deserve those things.
22. JSJay Shetty
  Mm-hmm.
23. JKJim Kwik
  So those are the things that, you know, I talk about uncovering and unlimiting those, those lies. So if you believe you're not smart enough, if you believe you're a slow reader, if you believe you're "I am a procrastinator", whatever it happens to be, you're stuck in that box. The second circle that you have to take into account besides mindset, and there are many interventions, by the way. Like, when, if you feel like you could identify a lie, that, you know, "Hey, I'm not smart enough. I don't have the resour-" whatever it is, you know, there are things that, you know, people have talked about on your show, whether it's, uh, emotional freedom technique, EMDR, uh, hypnosis. There's a ways of, of changing your belief systems, right? The second circle, though, is just as powerful. The second M besides mindset is motivation. You know, and motivation f- You could have a limitless mindset but not be motivated to get out of that box.
24. JSJay Shetty
  Mm-hmm.
25. JKJim Kwik
  You might be thinking, "Everything is possible. I deserve it. I'm capable," but you're not motivated to get off the couch-
26. JSJay Shetty
  Mm
27. JKJim Kwik
  ... and do those things. You know, for me, there's a simple formula for sustained motivation, and it's P, the letter P, times E times S3. And, uh, so if we were to do a thought experiment and say, "What do you wanna be motivated for?" Maybe for some people it's to, uh, read every day. You know, leaders are readers. Somebody has decades of experience like you do, you put it into a book, Think Like a Monk, and somebody could sit down in a few days and read that book. They could download Decades in Days, but they're not reading every day. Maybe they're really good at buying a book, but they're not good at reading that book. [laughs]
28. JSJay Shetty
  Yeah.
29. JKJim Kwik
  And this is some people, right? They're very good at adding to cart, and it sits on their shelf, and it becomes shelf help not self-help, right?
30. JSJay Shetty
  Yeah. [laughs]
41:46 – 50:14
Rejecting a limit
1. JSJay Shetty
  when they share a new, big idea-
2. JKJim Kwik
  Right
3. JSJay Shetty
  ... with someone that they love, they're often met with resistance. Like, I hear this so often.
4. JKJim Kwik
  Yeah.
5. JSJay Shetty
  Uh, and when you think about limits, you think about what you said, like, you didn't, you weren't born with limits. You had limits placed on you. But we either get to choose to accept or reject those limits. But it's really hard-
6. JKJim Kwik
  It is
7. JSJay Shetty
  ... and I, it's really hard for people to reject a limit placed on them by someone they love and trust. Walk us through that a little bit. Like, let's think out loud about that. Like, when someone has their mother or their father or someone they really respect place a limit on them.
8. JKJim Kwik
  Right.
9. JSJay Shetty
  They, you want that person to root for you. You want that person for you to win.
10. JKJim Kwik
  Yeah. Yeah, we all need people to encourage us, to be able to challenge us, to be able to cheerlead for us, to believe in us. And if we haven't found that person yet, then, uh, you know, my, my advice would be to be that person.
11. JSJay Shetty
  Yeah.
12. JKJim Kwik
  Be that person for somebody else. Especially be that person for, for yourself, right?
13. JSJay Shetty
  Mm.
14. JKJim Kwik
  You know, we, we, we talked about Last time in this conversation, the difference between a thermostat and a thermometer.
15. JSJay Shetty
  Mm.
16. JKJim Kwik
  A thermometer on the wall just, its only function, it reacts to the environment. And sometimes we, we, we as human beings, we react to the economy, we react to politics, we react to how people treat us, we react to the weather. But we know through studies done on people who are most successful, at least, at least the ones that are happiest and most fulfilled, they don't react as much as they respond, right? They're a thermostat. A thermostat doesn't react to the environment. It gauges. It knows the temperature in this room, but it also what? It sets a temperature, and the r- the environment reacts to it. So it's that agency. Um, you know, last time you and I talked about some of the people that I get to be able to spend time with and coach, and what I learned from those people. And one of them I mentioned was Stan Lee.
17. JSJay Shetty
  Mm.
18. JKJim Kwik
  And it wasn't just his playfulness, you know, and his passion for what he did. It was also responsibility. You know, I remember I picked him up for dinner one day, uh, evening and I asked him, like, "I, I need to know this," because remember, I, I couldn't read. I taught myself how to read by reading comic books, and I tell him that whole story 'cause it brought the words to life. But I said, "Who's your favorite? Who's your favorite?" And he says, "Jim, my favorite is Iron Man." And he says, "Jim, who's your favorite?" And he had this Spider-Man tie, and I was like, "Spider-Man." And he says, without a pause, in his iconic voice, "With great power comes great responsibility," right? And truthfully, I, I reverse a lot of things I see, I read, I hear, maybe 'cause of my, my brain injuries as a child, and I heard something totally different. I was like, "Stan, you're right. With great power comes great responsibility, and the opposite is also true. With great responsibility comes great power." When we take responsibility for something, we have great power to make things better.
19. JSJay Shetty
  Mm-hmm.
20. JKJim Kwik
  You know? And the thing is, when we make excuses or we complain, it's probably all valid. We probably... It- it's-
21. JSJay Shetty
  Yeah
22. JKJim Kwik
  ... it's probably true, right? Um, but it doesn't make anything better.
23. JSJay Shetty
  Mm.
24. JKJim Kwik
  Right? So we use a lot of our focus, our attention, our energy when it could be better s- well spent because we can't be upset by the results we didn't get from the work we didn't do.
25. JSJay Shetty
  Mm.
26. JKJim Kwik
  Right? And so when we take personal responsibility, we have the power to make thing- things better. And I would say part of responsibility is, is our peer group certainly affects things. I always say WATCH. It affects W, our words, right? The words. We start adopting the same language patterns as people around us, start using the same phrases. The A, we s- our actions. We start doing the same behaviors as people around us also as well, good and bad, what we eat. So it's not just our neurological networks, it's our social networks, right? And who we spend time with is who we become, and we start believing their same standards and their al- their expectations of, for us, right?
27. JSJay Shetty
  Mm.
28. JKJim Kwik
  The T in WATCH is we start mirroring the thoughts of the people around us. We start thinking the same way about ourselves-
29. JSJay Shetty
  Mm
30. JKJim Kwik
  ... as other people think about us. The C is a big one. It's our character.