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Jay Shetty PodcastJay Shetty Podcast

Jay & His Wife Radhi OPEN UP About Their SECRET To Real Love That LASTS!

Do you want to get over your biggest fear of 2023? Do you want to set purposeful intentions for next year?

Jay ShettyhostRadhi Shettyguest
Dec 15, 202340mWatch on YouTube

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Transcript

  1. 0:00 – 0:34

    Intro

    1. JS

      Join Radhi and I for a special On Purpose episode today with BMW. Radhi and I love taking road trips together, and today we get to take you on a drive in the all electric BMW iX. First ever episode in a car together.

    2. RS

      I know, how fun.

    3. JS

      We love going on road trips-

    4. RS

      We do

    5. JS

      ... and I thought today we'd just do a little spin.

    6. RS

      Some good, good little chats.

    7. JS

      Yeah. Find a nice lookout point, enjoy the sunset.

    8. RS

      Mm.

    9. JS

      You know, uh, you know I'm a romantic, hopeless romantic.

    10. RS

      [laughs]

    11. JS

      You got questions next to you.

    12. RS

      Amazing.

    13. JS

      The team chose these questions. Let's dive in.

  2. 0:34 – 3:24

    What’s Something You Would Ask Your Partner’s Opinion Of?

    1. RS

      What is something you would ask my opinion of?

    2. JS

      I would ask your opinion of what's good for my health. Like, I'm like, "Okay, I want a dessert. What should I eat that's healthy?"

    3. RS

      Mm-hmm.

    4. JS

      I would ask your feedback on, "I've been doing this workout, I'm not sure I'm feeling good from it or bad from it. Like, how should I change it up?"

    5. RS

      Uh-huh.

    6. JS

      I would ask for your opinion of, "I wanna feel like this in the morning, or this in the night," or, "I've got a headache, what should I do that's natural and a remedy that's gonna help straight away?"

    7. RS

      Mm.

    8. JS

      "If my gut's not feeling so well, what's a change I could make that-"

    9. RS

      Mm

    10. JS

      ... "will make me feel better?" You know, I think I ask your opinion of, of me sometimes as a person. Like, I, I find it really reassuring and it means the world to me when I know that you love me and you appreciate me and that you value me. I think that means a lot to me because I really value your opinion because I think that you're an amazing person, and I think that you have a really good moral character and are a very honest, genuine person. And so when you think good things of me, I think that if I have a choice or a decision I'm making, or if I'm sharing something or writing something or thinking about something, I always like getting your opinion because I feel that if I've checked it through with you, then it will be authentic and deep.

    11. RS

      Aw, thanks.

    12. JS

      Yeah.

    13. RS

      Those are, like, a good amount of stuff. Um-

    14. JS

      There's more. There's so much more I'd ask your opinion of-

    15. RS

      I would ask-

    16. JS

      ... but those are my first-

    17. RS

      ... you for advice on people. Like, if I've got-

    18. JS

      Mm-hmm

    19. RS

      ... some sort of discrepancy with people or I'm feeling a certain way about someone, I know you'll give me a really honest opinion about both sides. Like, you're someone who doesn't really take sides about things, which I really appreciate. You see it as the actual situation versus who's involved. I'll ask you about some of my fashion things even though sometimes we don't see eye to eye.

    20. JS

      Mm-hmm.

    21. RS

      I'll get your opinion 'cause m- may not take it all the time, but I will still get the opinion. [laughs]

    22. JS

      Got it.

    23. RS

      I would ask you about every time I need any motivation or I'm feeling like I'm lacking in trying to get through my day-

    24. JS

      Mm

    25. RS

      ... or figure out what I should do next, you're so good at figuring out step by step of turning something that feels so big into manageable steps and achievable things. So ac- I appreciate that. That's really great for me-

    26. JS

      Good

    27. RS

      ... 'cause I feel like I always make things really big in my mind, and you really help to break it down. And you're like, "Actually, let's strip it all back and this is actually what you need to do." I would ask your opinion about, oh, work stuff. Like, it's just such a beast in terms of work and constantly reminding me to go back to a deeper intention, and I think that's what's so important. It's less about ... You're obviously so good at what you do, but, um, but even deeper than that, I feel like the motivation and the intention behind it is what you always remind me of. And so I definitely ask your opinion on whether something feels right or wrong 'cause I think you're always quite aligned with intention.

    28. JS

      Mm.

    29. RS

      Those are just a few-

    30. JS

      Thank you

  3. 3:24 – 6:56

    What Do You Avoid Asking Opinion For?

    1. RS

      something you wouldn't ask my opinion of?

    2. JS

      [laughs] I think what I avoid now asking your opinion of sometimes is my fashion choices.

    3. RS

      Fashion, for sure. We definitely differ on that.

    4. JS

      Because I think I've been, I've become quite adventurous.

    5. RS

      You have.

    6. JS

      And I quite enjoy, like, pushing the boundaries-

    7. RS

      Totally

    8. JS

      ... trying new silhouettes and shapes. And to me it's all about, like, I feel like I get to express myself.

    9. RS

      It's your self-expression, yeah.

    10. JS

      I feel like I get to ... I feel like creatively I also get to push my own limits-

    11. RS

      Yeah

    12. JS

      ... when I'm like, "Oh, that's what I thought worked," and now I'm able to open my mind up to a new shape, a new color, a new space, and I enjoy that, not just in fashion but in all areas of life. And I think I get scared sometimes 'cause I, I do also want you to think I look cool, but obviously some of the stuff [laughs] I try sometimes is pretty out there.

    13. RS

      Yeah, and I wanna be honest, but I still think you should do everything ... Like, for me, it's more you should do whatever makes you feel happy-

    14. JS

      Which is why I still ask your opinion

    15. RS

      ... that you want to do, but then I'm not gonna tell you I like something if I don't.

    16. JS

      Totally. Totally.

    17. RS

      And so-

    18. JS

      Which I appreciate. Which I appreciate

    19. RS

      ... so the, the, the not asking is probably the best route to go with. Yeah.

    20. JS

      Because, because I'm using so much of my confidence to pull it off that then if some-

    21. RS

      Yeah, totally

    22. JS

      ... if I ask your opinion and then you don't like it, it's like, that's really hard-

    23. RS

      It's pretty foul

    24. JS

      ... 'cause I already knew.

    25. RS

      Yeah, yeah, yeah.

    26. JS

      'Cause it's already had to push me out of my comfort zone.

    27. RS

      But I always say, "I don't like it, but you should wear what you like." Like, you should wear what you-

    28. JS

      Yeah

    29. RS

      ... you feel comfortable in.

    30. JS

      Yeah.

  4. 6:56 – 8:25

    What Need Have You Not Found a Friend to Spend With?

    1. JS

      What is there in your life do you think that you have a need that you haven't found the person yet? Like, what, what is it that you would think you'd need on a weekly, monthly basis in your life and you're like, "You know what? I don't have that friend yet," or like, "I haven't built that relationship. I haven't proactively figured that out"?

    2. RS

      Hmm. I have friends to work out with.

    3. JS

      Yeah?

    4. RS

      I have friends that I can call just to pass time with.

    5. JS

      Mm-hmm.

    6. RS

      I have friends to have meaningful conversations with. I have friends to do spiritual activities with. Not necessarily as much here-

    7. JS

      Mm

    8. RS

      ... as I do in London, but still.

    9. JS

      Mm-hmm. Yeah, that's for me as well, actually.

    10. RS

      Um, I have my mum for a lot of stuff. She ticks a lot of boxes. You tick a lot of boxes. My friends. I, I don't know. I d- I feel like I get a good-

    11. JS

      That's good then. No, but that's a complete life.

    12. RS

      Yeah.

    13. JS

      That's good.

    14. RS

      Feel like my sister ticks a lot of boxes for me.

    15. JS

      No, but that's good. That's a good place to be.

    16. RS

      My niece and nephew for some fun and silly convos. [laughs]

    17. JS

      I've been looking for a competitive FIFA friend.

    18. RS

      Oh, yeah, you are.

    19. JS

      I need a competitive FIFA friend.

    20. RS

      You do.

    21. JS

      Like, someone who really gets me to become better.

    22. RS

      Maybe, you know what I miss? Having a, a, like a friend that just comes and like sits and does nothing with me.

    23. JS

      Yeah.

    24. RS

      I like having friends like that sometimes.

    25. JS

      Cool.

    26. RS

      We just exist together.

    27. JS

      Yeah.

    28. RS

      Maybe take naps together.

    29. JS

      [laughs]

    30. RS

      Maybe just like watch something but don't have to talk together.

  5. 8:25 – 14:08

    If We Switch Roles Today, What’s the First Thing You Will Do As Me?

    1. RS

      If we had to switch roles for a day-

    2. JS

      Mm-hmm

    3. RS

      ... what's the first thing you'd do as me?

    4. JS

      Meditate and work out.

    5. RS

      Med- yeah.

    6. JS

      Those are the fa- those are the two non-negotiables in Radhi's life. That in the last-

    7. RS

      I will be late for everything

    8. JS

      ... 10 years-

    9. RS

      But I will not be late for a workout

    10. JS

      ... the, the thing she'll never be late for is a workout and meditation. She's always there.

    11. RS

      Yeah.

    12. JS

      It's amazing. It's really impressive.

    13. RS

      Physically there.

    14. JS

      It's impressive-

    15. RS

      Sometimes not mentally, but.

    16. JS

      It's impressive though. Like, I, I think it takes a lot of dedication to have a non-negotiable.

    17. RS

      Yeah.

    18. JS

      And I think it's amazing that your non-negotiable habits are so important because they set you up for the rest of the day.

    19. RS

      They really do.

    20. JS

      And it's like if you compromised on those two things, could you imagine what life would be like?

    21. RS

      No, I think I'd just really struggle going through the day without it.

    22. JS

      Yeah. And I think what's really amazing is that you having those non-negotiables has inspired me to have similar non-negotiables, especially with working out, in a way that I don't think I would have had if someone forced me to, if someone preached to me to do it-

    23. RS

      Yeah

    24. JS

      ... if someone made me do it. Like, when I see you dedicated every single day to your workout, whether it's a weekday, whether it's a weekend, whether it's two workouts a day, I look at that and go, "Okay, got it." Like, that's a really great discipline.

    25. RS

      Yeah, it's nice having things that you really appreciate in your life that you don't feel like you need breaks from.

    26. JS

      Yeah.

    27. RS

      I feel like they're few and far between, 'cause it doesn't ever seem like you're working. It's just like part of your being, and it's the person that you are on screen, off screen, with friends, with family. Like, I don't see a difference in that because that is just what you absolutely love doing. It's like your full nature to be that. And so those non-negotiables come because you just feel and see the deep impact that it has on you, and then you kind of ca- Like, you just know that ... I just know I'm not gonna have a great day. Even if it's not crazy workouts, even if it's just a walk or movement, it's just so important. And I always see movement as mind movement, body movement, both equally so important, and I think meditation is great mind movement.

    28. JS

      Mm-hmm.

    29. RS

      And walking or workouts is great body movement, but both of them help with your emotional wellbeing, your physical wellbeing-

    30. JS

      Mm

  6. 14:08 – 16:57

    Any Fun Memories While Driving?

    1. RS

      dropping me to the airport, they're really special times where I feel like it gives space to just open up, and he'll just share stories about his, like, youth where, that I didn't know about. We'll just talk about random things, and I'll just find so much out about him, and he's usually quite a quiet person. And so it feels like the car journeys are when things are changing. Even when we'd go back to where his family lives in Norwich, it's like a two and a half hour, three-hour drive, and I always think along the way he'll be like, "This is where this happened. This is where this happened." Or yeah, there's always little moments where he'll just suddenly start reminiscing in journeys, and I think that 'cause you're going on a journey, your mind kind of goes back to journeys in your life. And yeah, definitely enjoy that. And then also with my grandma because I drive her and her friends around sometimes to, like, take them to different places. So imagine, like, four 90-year-old women in the car that are just laughing and hanging out, and so I love doing Uber service for them. That's fun. And singing along. Singing along with my nephew in the car, that is a good one.

    2. JS

      [laughs]

    3. RS

      That's always fun. And we've done so many fun road trips as well.

    4. JS

      Yeah.

    5. RS

      I just, I love being out and about on the road. Yeah.

    6. JS

      Videos of you and Arjun singing in the car.

    7. RS

      They're so fun.

    8. JS

      Yeah. They're really cute.

    9. RS

      I love a good karaoke moment in the car.

    10. JS

      Yeah. He's, like, singing his heart out.

    11. RS

      Singing his heart out to Adele.

    12. JS

      I think for me, I actually love car time as a space for reflection.

    13. RS

      Mm-hmm.

    14. JS

      I don't know what it is about cars for me and driving.

    15. RS

      You do that a lot.

    16. JS

      I, I will-

    17. RS

      You don't play music.

    18. JS

      I, I don't.

    19. RS

      Yeah.

    20. JS

      I, I drive in silence a lot of the time. I'll listen to my own thoughts. I'll reprogram them. I'll take a moment to... I find sometimes when I'm in the car, I talk to God the most.

    21. RS

      Yeah. Wow.

    22. JS

      I don't know what it is about that, but I find it a really easy way to talk out loud-

    23. RS

      Mm

    24. JS

      ... and just listen and pray and reflect. Like, I do that a lot if I'm driving alone.

    25. RS

      That's really beautiful.

    26. JS

      I think my favorite memories of road trips also include all of our road trips, like our weekend trips.

    27. RS

      So fun.

    28. JS

      Whenever we're, like, doing a playlist, when we're, you know, just hanging out, having conversations like this.

    29. RS

      Yeah, yeah.

    30. JS

      I always find, like, when we find, like, our-

  7. 16:57 – 18:43

    Where Do You Drive To When You Miss Home?

    1. RS

      a lot less Brown people than I do when I'm in London-

    2. JS

      Right

    3. RS

      ... on a day-to-day basis. So as you know, especially during festivals or, like, Indian festivals, I wanna go to Artesia.

    4. JS

      Saritosa.

    5. RS

      Saritosa.

    6. JS

      And eat Indian food, buy Indian clothes.

    7. RS

      I eat Indian food, buy Indian clothes, be, like, in a place where there are just so many people that feel like my community.

    8. JS

      Yeah.

    9. RS

      And, um, there's something about that that makes me feel nostalgic. So sometimes I'll go to an Indian re- like, uh, this, like, veggie Indian restaurant that I really like here.

    10. JS

      Yeah.

    11. RS

      If... Usually my missing home is, like, missing my mom's food-

    12. JS

      Yeah

    13. RS

      ... because when I'm feeling sad or I feel like I need comfort, it's usually-

    14. JS

      Food

    15. RS

      ... Mom, my mom's, specifically my mom's food that brings me that comfort.

    16. JS

      Yeah.

    17. RS

      And if I can't get that, then I have to go see some, like, old Indian women in saris-

    18. JS

      [laughs]

    19. RS

      ... so it feels like I'm around my grandma. [laughs]

    20. JS

      Yeah, yeah. I love that.

    21. RS

      So yeah, that's probably... If I think about it, it's either that or I'll sit just by myself and eat ice cream and watch a Bollywood movie or something.

    22. JS

      Nice. I think for me- I drive to places I can make new memories.

    23. RS

      Mm.

    24. JS

      So if I miss home, I'm always thinking, "Well, what's a new cool, fun thing I can do to create and build a new memory?"

    25. RS

      Mm-hmm.

    26. JS

      I think it's very easy f- for me sometimes to think if I miss something that I have to recreate it, or sometimes we think if we miss something you have to remake it. For me, I just like to think, "Okay, well, what opportunity do I have or what possibility do I have-

    27. RS

      Yeah

    28. JS

      ... to just build something fresh?" So I think that's what I do.

    29. RS

      What is the thing you were most scared of going into this past year that you ended up doing?

    30. JS

      Literally a month before my world tour, I was so close to pulling out, because I was really worried about whether I'd be able to stay healthy and fit traveling

  8. 18:43 – 23:49

    Place You Are Most Scared of Going That You Ended Up Going

    1. JS

      to all those countries, and I was concerned about my wellbeing. I was thinking about work. I was thinking about all the things I had to put on hold. It was like I wasn't gonna see you for months. I wasn't gonna see most of my team for months. I wasn't going to be able to do so much of the work that I'm used to doing every single year. We had to tape meditations in advance. We had to tape podcasts in advance. There was so much work, and like a month before I was like, "Okay, I don't think I can go on tour." And the thing that kept me going was Nicole and Annie had worked so hard on putting the tour together.

    2. RS

      Mm.

    3. JS

      And the team had worked so hard on putting the tour together, and I was like, "I can't let them down." Like, if I cancel it-

    4. RS

      Yeah

    5. JS

      ... it's gonna let down all these people who've worked so hard putting it all together, and I can't just pull out. And I never told them that till afterwards.

    6. RS

      [laughs]

    7. JS

      And [laughs] I think, I think they were relieved. But it was just one of those things of just like when you're doing something new, what I've learned is it's so natural to feel scared, and it's so natural to feel fear. And what I've realized is before I used to think you have to wait to get over the fear to do something, or you have to wait till you don't feel scared so you can do something. So you spend all your energy going, "Okay, well, how do I take care of my fear? How do I control my fear? How do I move past what I'm scared of?" And the truth is, you have to be fearful and do it anyway.

    8. RS

      Mm.

    9. JS

      Like, you're gonna be scared anyway, so why not accept that you're scared, accept that you're fearful, create a plan, and then do it. Like when I went on my tour, I remember after finishing the US leg I was exhausted.

    10. RS

      Mm.

    11. JS

      And then when I went international and we started in Australia, again, there were some crazy highs and lows on tour when it came to like health and wellness, fitness. We were literally in a city for a max one and a half days.

    12. RS

      Yeah.

    13. JS

      And so for me-

    14. RS

      Yeah, that was intense

    15. JS

      ... for me that, I mean, you came with me for a week and it was exhausting. Why am I getting a massage in my chair? [laughs]

    16. RS

      Guys, I just found out that there is a massage feature in, in this car, and I, um, I just activated it.

    17. JS

      While I was answering my question.

    18. RS

      Should we do... Yeah, for some-

    19. JS

      While I was opening my heart to you

    20. RS

      ... for some relaxation. Ooh.

    21. JS

      This is what Radhi's like. So this is how Radhi makes me laugh. I'll be having a really vulnerable, deep, open, heartfelt conversation, and then you'll do something like this.

    22. RS

      Can you feel it?

    23. JS

      Yes, I can feel it.

    24. RS

      Ooh.

    25. JS

      [laughs]

    26. RS

      That's really amazing. Who doesn't want a bit of a back massage when you're driving around?

    27. JS

      Mine's still going on.

    28. RS

      I've never seen that in a car. All right. Um, no, that is true.

    29. JS

      What was yours?

    30. RS

      Um-

  9. 23:49 – 26:41

    What’s the Root Cause of Our Fears?

    1. RS

      or people in my family being smarter than me. And by the way, I'm not like, "Oh, that's so sad." I'm just saying that is where it roots from. [laughs] Because I've always had that, and so- And I've told myself that for so long, and I've always turned to other people to fix things or make things better or to tell me whether what I'm doing is right or wrong, that I never believed me start, standing by myself doing something was gonna be as good as o- other people doing it with me.

    2. JS

      That's amazing. That's incredible.

    3. RS

      So it definitely roots from that, and then I've just realized that, just get over it. There are b-

    4. JS

      [laughs]

    5. RS

      ... worse things that happen in life, and you don't have to be an expert to do things. That's why I started trying to do things that I'm really not good at, because sometimes I really enjoy things that I'm not good at, but I stop myself from doing them because I just think that I shouldn't because I'm not good at it.

    6. JS

      Yeah.

    7. RS

      And I think that we're just trained to feel that way, when not everything has to be about being really good at things. It can just be because you want to try or that you, you want a new experience.

    8. JS

      I mean, it is about being really good at things.

    9. RS

      [laughs]

    10. JS

      [laughs]

    11. RS

      Yeah, for people who are good at things.

    12. JS

      No, no, I think I really appreciate your resilience. I remember when... What was it that you tried when we were on vacation a couple of years ago? Is it wakeboarding?

    13. RS

      Sorry. Wakeboarding.

    14. JS

      Is it called wakeboarding?

    15. RS

      I think it might be, yeah.

    16. JS

      Anyway, that was like, watching you do that, and I remember the next day you felt like you'd had whiplash.

    17. RS

      felt like I-

    18. JS

      But you just kept getting back up and trying it, even though you'd stand up for, like, three seconds-

    19. RS

      [laughs]

    20. JS

      ... and fall over. I remember timing it. And it was just amazing. You're so... Your resilience to, like, keep trying something, even when it's so difficult. Like, you do love that too.

    21. RS

      I do, I try.

    22. JS

      Like, even in pickleball.

    23. RS

      But yeah, I really enjoyed trying all those things-

    24. JS

      Yeah

    25. RS

      ... this year. Um, and recognizing that, that, you know, lots of people are like, "Oh, I tried this thing, and you know, I tried it once, and then I just got that" You know, people kept asking me, they were like, "Once you start actually speaking in public, you're gonna get this bug for it and you're gonna wanna do it." And I was like, "I have not got the bug for it."

    26. JS

      [laughs]

    27. RS

      And it's not something that I'm craving to do again.

    28. JS

      Just shows how different we are.

    29. RS

      Yeah.

    30. JS

      I love it.

  10. 26:41 – 29:59

    What Is the Biggest Lesson You’ve Learned this Year

    1. RS

      one, conserving your energy and being able to have alone time is, and also how important, like, relationships are in terms of what you gain from human connection and how energetic that can feel, and also how draining that can feel, and knowing the difference between both and who gives you both of those things. Who are the people you spend time with that actually help feed your energy? I think I've had to really learn that in the time that I'm expending with people, because I feel so drained. And then how important sleep is, not in a superficial way, but in the way that it affects your mood, your energy levels, your ability to wake up and even meditate in the morning, your ability to work during the day. It just affects so much of your life. What you wanna eat, what you crave, like, it just impacts everything. And so I've really been trying to prioritize sleep lately of, like, at least sleeping earlier. And that's, that's that.

    2. JS

      That's good. I really think the biggest thing I've learned this year, which I feel like the universe keeps reminding me of this, but it's a big one, is don't judge an emotion in others that you've never felt, because the universe will make you experience it.

    3. RS

      Oh my gosh, yes.

    4. JS

      So often we look at other-

    5. RS

      So good

    6. JS

      ... people's life and we go, "Why are they so stressed about that? That's so minor."

    7. RS

      Yeah.

    8. JS

      Like, "Why are they so anxious about that? There's nothing to do with that." Like-

    9. RS

      Yeah

    10. JS

      ... "Why are they so mad about that? I wouldn't be mad about that."

    11. RS

      Yeah.

    12. JS

      And then all of a sudden, the same thing-

    13. RS

      Yeah

    14. JS

      ... happens to you, and all of a sudden you're, like, broken. And I've seen that happen so many times to friends, I've seen that happen so many times to myself, where you're judging someone else's pain, thinking you could deal with that pain.

    15. RS

      Mm.

    16. JS

      And then you go, "When I'm actually going through that pain, I don't wanna feel it anymore."

    17. RS

      Yep.

    18. JS

      And so whenever I find myself thinking, "Oh, I could handle that better," or, "That's not a big deal," or, "Can't believe they're struggling with that," I've started to realize, just don't have that feeling because you have no idea how that person's navigating it, what their trigger is, what their trauma is, what their pain is. And it's so easy to be like, "Oh, well, I find that easy."

    19. RS

      Mm.

    20. JS

      And when you actually go through it, it's another ballgame.

    21. RS

      Mm.

    22. JS

      And so I remember, you know, like, it's, it's kinda like when people are like, "Oh," you know, and not that I say this, but a lot of people will say, like, "Oh, there's no such thing as depression. There's no such thing-

    23. RS

      Yeah

    24. JS

      ... as anxiety." Like, "It's just all in your head." Like, things like that. It's not actually helpful. And I think everyone goes through something like that in life that really-

    25. RS

      Definitely

    26. JS

      ... breaks them down. And when I go through that, like, when I feel like I've judged something and then I'm going through it myself, I go, "Oh, got it. This is making me more compassionate now-

    27. RS

      For that

    28. JS

      ... for other people's pain."

    29. RS

      Yeah.

    30. JS

      And I hope that I can keep this feeling when I'm feeling confident, that even if I haven't experienced someone's pain, I can still be compassionate towards it, because I recognize that I don't understand all types of pain just because I think I do mentally. It's so interesting how we think because we understand something theoretically it should be easy practically. When we're not going through that challenge right now, we underplay it and undermine it.

  11. 29:59 – 34:04

    What Is Something You Want to Work on Next Year?

    1. RS

      almost either jump on the bandwagon of their purpose or intention and try and mimic it without actually feeling it or doing the work it requires to maintain it. And I've been thinking about that a lot because I think seeing you have your purpose, and have seen you do that for a long time, I think I kept trying to create the same purpose for myself or jump onto your purpose and make it my own. But the problem was I didn't have the deep-rooted feeling that you have with what you are doing. And so that's why my energy and my desire for it would run out so fast, and I would have to keep motivating myself today, keep motivating myself, but it, there wasn't an actual motivation because the motivation was coming from you. I think for me next year, it's about actually figuring out what my deep-rooted purpose and intention is behind what I'm doing and everything I'm doing to feel like it is mine versus, one, what other people think my purpose is, and two, trying to jump onto someone else's because it seems so amazing because you're so connected to it, but it's not mine-

    2. JS

      Absolutely

    3. RS

      ... and therefore don't have that connection.

    4. JS

      It's interesting how our mind does that even when we know purpose is individual. It's-

    5. RS

      Yeah

    6. JS

      ... it's unique. It's not adopted. Like-

    7. RS

      Totally

    8. JS

      ... we always talk about that famous line in the Bhagavad Gita, which says that it's better to do your own purpose imperfectly-

    9. RS

      Mm

    10. JS

      ... than to try to do someone's perfectly.

    11. RS

      Yeah.

    12. JS

      Because the point is doing your thing is way better than trying to do someone else's. And also, the other verse that I love about purpose is when you protect your purpose, your purpose protects you. When we try to imitate or project someone's purpose onto ourself, it doesn't work because we actually have to protect the, the diamond of our purpose that we're holding on to.

    13. RS

      Mm.

    14. JS

      And we have to care for it as if it's a rare gem.

    15. RS

      Mm. What's something you want to work on for next year?

    16. JS

      There's been a few things I've been thinking about. One is that I really believe that my best work for me at this point in my career comes when I'm, when I have space.

    17. RS

      Mm.

    18. JS

      And there was a time in my life where being productive and efficient was what helped me achieve.

    19. RS

      Mm-hmm.

    20. JS

      And I feel like I'm at a place in my life where I feel like the more I'm reflecting, reading, being thoughtful, I feel like a better version of myself.

    21. RS

      Mm.

    22. JS

      And so I think I've been reprioritizing from being productive to almost zooming out and gaining more perspective.

    23. RS

      Mm.

    24. JS

      And that requires a lot of restructuring of my life. I have lots of commitments. I have lots of responsibilities. There's so many things I have to think about in order to do that, but I'm realizing that I'm better with more time than less time. It's not about more socialize. Like, I'm not trying to create more of a social life. That's not really what will make me happy, but I'm trying to create more of space to be more curious and be more, even more reflective and thoughtful than I believe I already give myself time to. I find that I'm often putting myself in a lot of discomfort to operate at a high level, and I wanna give myself some mental comfort.

    25. RS

      Mm.

    26. JS

      And I believe that will really create some fascinating projects and vision for what I wanna do in the world. I think that there's points in your career where you just have to, like, put your head down and work really hard, and then you get to points in your career where you have to look up and take a step back.

    27. RS

      Yeah.

    28. JS

      And I think I'm at a point in my career where I want to do that because I wanna really think about the impact I wanna have in the world. I wanna really think about the work I want to do, the, the pathways I think are going to really shift culture in the world, and I wanna give myself time and space. That's not gonna come from productivity. That's going to come from perspective.

    29. RS

      What is something you valued this past year in our relationship that you did not value in the past?

    30. JS

      Ooh, that's such a great question.

  12. 34:04 – 37:58

    What Is Something You Valued in Your Relationship Now that You Didn’t Value Before?

    1. RS

      took to do it. And you're always someone who wants to help, and you always have the time and space to help no matter what you have going on. And I think in the past, I didn't value it because I almost wasn't ready to wa- I didn't want to waste your time because I knew I wasn't ready to put in the work to actually-

    2. JS

      You never waste my time

    3. RS

      ... take it on. No, but do you know what I mean? Like, it was more me not being in a place to do the stuff required because I'd get your advice, and then I wouldn't implement, and then it didn't, you know, didn't make sense and it made me feel bad about it. Whereas I feel like this year because I made a decision to really try and understand what my potential was and to push myself to, to see and, and explore that, I was able to take on a lot of your really great, like, advice and time, and I value that advice a lot more now because I was re- I'm ready to actually receive it.

    4. JS

      I think for me there's a couple of things. I think I learn to revalue every year just how much you do love me by your choice to, you know, as we've always talked about, it's been so hard for you to move away from family, move to New York, and then move to LA, and then... And I know you go back often when it's nice, but you still base yourself here, and I, I think I learn to revalue that every year as a sign of how much you love me because I realize that that is the reason that makes you do it.

    5. RS

      Yeah.

    6. JS

      Like, you wouldn't do it if it wasn't for that.

    7. RS

      Mm-mm.

    8. JS

      And I think that that is something I have to revalue. I get newfound value for it every year-

    9. RS

      Mm

    10. JS

      ... because I realize it more and more. And I think the other thing that I value that maybe I didn't value before was how much, again, I think it's a revalue too, of how much you're so flexible and adaptable. Like, if I said to you, "I've got this amazing opportunity. I need to get on a plane tomorrow," you never make me feel guilty or bad about it. And that is just, I've thought about it a lot, and I'm like, that is really hard. And yes, we're both like that with each other.

    11. RS

      Mm-hmm.

    12. JS

      But I think it takes a lot to just be flexible and adaptable. Life hasn't got less busy, it's got more busy. So I think that's a newfound value again that I renew every year of, like, wait a minute, you're more flexible and adaptable. I went on a world tour this year. Like, I was gone for, you know-

    13. RS

      You're really good at that. I feel like you're al- your state of mind, and I'm not just saying this, you're very in gratitude. You're a very in gratitude person on a daily basis with not just me, with l- literally every single person around you, and I think that that just pours into everything that you do. Uh, what is a change you have made this past year that impacted your daily life? Putting in the work it takes to complete things, 'cause I'd have the [laughs] ... I do the work it takes to start things. [laughs] But I didn't do the work it takes to complete things till this year. And so I see how hard that is for people. I have a newfound appreciation for people who actually get things done. My goodness.

    14. JS

      [laughs]

    15. RS

      What a life to live.

    16. JS

      [laughs]

    17. RS

      I just wanna say that basically, because I've completed things this year, I do feel like I feel more confident in myself.

    18. JS

      Mm-hmm.

    19. RS

      And I think that it's impacted my daily life because I've started making little decisions by myself, and I've started trusting in my own voice, and I've started being more sure about the things that I actually think I should do in a situation versus asking 1,000 people or, or trying to second-guess myself. And so with committing to completing things in my life, it has come with a boost of confidence in my own voice.

    20. JS

      Mm-hmm.

    21. RS

      And that has impacted my daily life in so many ways because, yeah, it's just made me a bit more secure in who I am. Definitely not fully there, but it's like s- it feels like the beginning of the journey of really understanding myself a little bit more.

    22. JS

      Mm-hmm.

    23. RS

      And it's all come from consistency

  13. 37:58 – 40:42

    What Did You Change This Year that Impacted Your Life?

    1. RS

      and trying to commit to things for myself.

    2. JS

      Mm-hmm.

    3. RS

      And I actually really have appreciated that this year.

    4. JS

      Mm. I think for me it's, uh, having an amazing team. Uh-

    5. RS

      Your team is just literally just-

    6. JS

      Yeah, very special humans, and, uh-

    7. RS

      And this sucks 'cause they're gonna hear it [laughs] or are hearing it. [laughs]

    8. JS

      I feel like being surrounded by people you actually enjoy spending time with, and as people, not just at work, and being surrounded by people that you trust and that trust you, and that being surrounded by people that you feel ... There was a quote that I read the other day that said, "A great relationship is when both people feel lucky," and-

    9. RS

      You so have that in your team

    10. JS

      ... and I feel like having that in your personal life, your professional life, in every area of your life-

    11. RS

      Totally

    12. JS

      ... like that's what makes life special. So that has made a big change, like being surrounded by people who just have wonderful values and qualities.

    13. RS

      I feel like you've attracted each other because honestly, I don't know how your team is so as, as special as they are. Like, every single person has different personalities, but the same care, attention, desire-

    14. JS

      Yeah

    15. RS

      ... and it, and, and what's beautiful is there's like, you feel no competition there.

    16. JS

      Mm-hmm.

    17. RS

      Which is really difficult to create in a work environment. Everybody feels so secure in their roles and how they see it as collaborative thing. Like, they all feel like part of a puzzle, and they all work so well together to do that. It's so beautiful.

    18. JS

      Mm.

    19. RS

      I just, I've, I've, I appreciate seeing you so happy finally, because I think that you've worked so hard to get to this point to have people who feel the same way.

    20. JS

      Yeah, it's been amazing.

    21. RS

      It's nice being surrounded by people who feel the same desire and excitement as you do every single day.

    22. JS

      Yeah. It's been really special. And on that note, I wanna say a big thank you to all of you, because I think it's been amazing just the amount of love and support that On Purpose has had in the last 12 months.

    23. RS

      Mm.

    24. JS

      The incredible guests we've had are because of all of you that watch, that like, that share, that recommend this podcast to your friends, the amazing conversations I've been having, the solo episodes that I've been recording. Just thank you for all your love and support, because I couldn't do any of it without you, and it's amazing to see the growth that we're having, and it's unbelievable, and so grateful to you all. Genuinely, thank you so much. And thank you, Radhi, for doing this with me.

    25. RS

      Of course. Um-

    26. JS

      Going on this little road trip

    27. RS

      ... I always like these conversations.

    28. JS

      Yeah.

    29. RS

      They bring so much out.

    30. JS

      Yeah.

Episode duration: 40:42

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