Jay & Radhi: My #1 Ick About You… (I’ve Never Shared This!)

1. 0:00 – 0:19

   Intro

   1. RDRadhi Devlukia0:00

      One of my biggest icks

   2. RDRadhi Devlukia0:01

      Is when they like wake up and they're confused

   3. JSJay Shetty0:04

      If they play games on their phone

   4. RDRadhi Devlukia0:07

      When he posts on social media

   5. JSJay Shetty0:09

      Grown men shouldn't wear earrings Don't message me saying, "When am I taking you?" I'm not.

   6. RDRadhi Devlukia0:16

      White men who call themselves progressive or gay for

   7. JSJay Shetty0:18

      When they post on

2. 0:19 – 3:07

   What is an Ick?

   1. JSJay Shetty0:19

      social media forget their pronouns How seriously should people take icks?

   2. RDRadhi Devlukia0:20

      They should be seen as more of a funny thing, not something that actually puts them off their partner

   3. JSJay Shetty0:25

      Do you ever get over a ick?

   4. RDRadhi Devlukia0:27

      The more you like someone, the more you'll find your- the icks cuter

   5. JSJay Shetty0:31

      Everyone is gonna have something that gives you the ick

   6. RDRadhi Devlukia0:34

      I remember one of my icks was at the beginning when we were dating [record scratch]

   7. JSJay Shetty0:37

      Go on

   8. RDRadhi Devlukia0:37

      Where you used to do that, "Oh my God"

   9. JSJay Shetty0:40

      Hey, everyone. Welcome back to On Purpose with Jay Shetty, with my favorite person in the world, Radhika Devlukia. And we're diving into topics about things that we talk about, things that we hear about from friends and family, things that you could talk about on a long car journey

   10. RDRadhi Devlukia0:53

       [laughs]

   11. JSJay Shetty0:54

       After a long day at work, or maybe while you're out at dinner and you wanna have a chat about what's going on. So today's topic is all about

   12. RDRadhi Devlukia1:02

       Icks

   13. JSJay Shetty1:03

       Icks

   14. RDRadhi Devlukia1:04

       Good old icks

   15. JSJay Shetty1:05

       I feel like the concept of icks didn't exist when we were dating

   16. RDRadhi Devlukia1:09

       No, maybe it w-

   17. JSJay Shetty1:10

       Or maybe they existed, but they didn't have that language

   18. RDRadhi Devlukia1:12

       We didn't call them icks

   19. JSJay Shetty1:13

       And if anyone's wondering, because you've been sleeping under a rock, what an ick is, the term ick refers to a sudden turn-off or something that instantly kills attraction

   20. RDRadhi Devlukia1:25

       Ooh, that's a harsh term

   21. JSJay Shetty1:27

       These aren't always rational, and they can vary culturally and individually, but there are common patterns reported in dating conversations, social media, and psychological observations

   22. RDRadhi Devlukia1:37

       Wow, so official

   23. JSJay Shetty1:39

       When did you first discover what icks were?

   24. RDRadhi Devlukia1:42

       I don't know when, but I feel like I've ... Now that it's got a name to it, I appreciate it, 'cause I've felt icks my whole life

   25. JSJay Shetty1:47

       Really?

   26. RDRadhi Devlukia1:48

       Yeah

   27. JSJay Shetty1:48

       What? Like, when you were dating back in the day?

   28. RDRadhi Devlukia1:50

       Yeah

   29. JSJay Shetty1:51

       You never dated anyone apart from me

   30. RDRadhi Devlukia1:52

       What?
3. 3:07 – 5:21

   The Funniest Icks

   1. RDRadhi Devlukia3:07

      in the car [laughs] .

   2. JSJay Shetty3:08

      [laughs]

   3. RDRadhi Devlukia3:08

      I don't even know how that's an ick, but that was an ick

   4. JSJay Shetty3:11

      Because? What was her reasoning?

   5. RDRadhi Devlukia3:12

      Don't remember

   6. JSJay Shetty3:13

      She said that it doesn't feel masculine

   7. RDRadhi Devlukia3:15

      Masculine enough, yes

   8. JSJay Shetty3:16

      [laughs]

   9. RDRadhi Devlukia3:17

      Someone else that I spoke to said that she finds it really icky when her husband cries

   10. JSJay Shetty3:22

       [laughs] That's terrible

   11. RDRadhi Devlukia3:24

       [laughs] So not nice, but also just so funny that people put that on the ick list. Well, okay, it's obviously funny, but there's also a little bit of meanness and depths to it, that people get turned off so easily these days. And I think it's, it really, sometimes just by getting an ick, they won't go on a second date. I feel like, should we start off by reading some really funny icks out?

   12. JSJay Shetty3:45

       Go on

   13. RDRadhi Devlukia3:46

       Okay. So, oh, when they run after a receipt that's blown away in the wind [laughs] . That's so true

   14. JSJay Shetty3:53

       Who does that?

   15. RDRadhi Devlukia3:55

       When they hold a limp umbrella in a strong wind [laughs]

   16. JSJay Shetty3:58

       [laughs]

   17. RDRadhi Devlukia4:00

       When they run with a backpack on and it bounces side to side

   18. JSJay Shetty4:04

       [laughs]

   19. RDRadhi Devlukia4:06

       [laughs] That's a really good one. I agree. When they, when they try to get out of a beanbag chair and it takes a full 12 seconds

   20. JSJay Shetty4:12

       [laughs]

   21. RDRadhi Devlukia4:14

       When they walk, when they call a waiter over, but they walk right past them. These are all very good ones

   22. JSJay Shetty4:19

       Yeah

   23. RDRadhi Devlukia4:19

       There are some other really funny ones though too. What else did we, what else did we say in the car that was really funny, do you remember?

   24. JSJay Shetty4:25

       I don't remember the car ones at all

   25. RDRadhi Devlukia4:26

       When they have allergies. That's so rude. When you're driving and they grab the bar. Yeah, when you are the driver, when the girl's the driver and the guy gets scared and holds, holds the side of the car. That's icky. When they get carsick [laughs]

   26. JSJay Shetty4:39

       I, I get carsick. That's not an ick. It's a really-

   27. RDRadhi Devlukia4:42

       Oh

   28. JSJay Shetty4:42

       ... sad thing to go through actually

   29. RDRadhi Devlukia4:44

       When they wear no-show socks. No

   30. JSJay Shetty4:48

       Yeah. I agree with that one
4. 5:21 – 9:39

   How Seriously Should People Take Icks?

   1. RDRadhi Devlukia5:21

      baby voice with your mum and your sister. Oh my God. Ugh. I cannot even hear it. Go on, do it, please.

   2. JSJay Shetty5:28

      I'm not doing that. I don't do it with anyone else

   3. RDRadhi Devlukia5:30

      Please. You do know it, though.

   4. JSJay Shetty5:31

      I don't. Only with my mom and my sister

   5. RDRadhi Devlukia5:32

      Come on. Mom and sister. Suddenly I w- was in a room with all three of them, and they're all doing this weird baby voice to each other. I was like, "In where am I, and what is happening?" Please just do it once.

   6. JSJay Shetty5:44

      No, I don't do it anymore

   7. RDRadhi Devlukia5:45

      Come and show them too, so they think-

   8. JSJay Shetty5:46

      I literally don't do it anymore because you c- you are-

   9. RDRadhi Devlukia5:48

      You actually don't do it that much

   10. JSJay Shetty5:50

       I don't, I don't do it anymore

   11. RDRadhi Devlukia5:50

       But you know what? You should be who you want to be

   12. JSJay Shetty5:52

       I don't do that anymore

   13. RDRadhi Devlukia5:53

       But just don't do that voice around me [laughs]

   14. JSJay Shetty5:56

       [laughs] What, what, what were all my icks about you? But yeah, what are my icks about you?

   15. RDRadhi Devlukia6:01

       Don't know. In the beginning?

   16. JSJay Shetty6:03

       Being late

   17. RDRadhi Devlukia6:04

       Yeah

   18. JSJay Shetty6:05

       That is an ick. That is a massive ick for me when people are late.

   19. RDRadhi Devlukia6:07

       Really?

   20. JSJay Shetty6:08

       Yeah, massive ick. You can't be late.

   21. RDRadhi Devlukia6:10

       I've been ick your whole life then, mate.

   22. JSJay Shetty6:11

       [laughs] Basically.

   23. RDRadhi Devlukia6:12

       [laughs]

   24. JSJay Shetty6:13

       What else?

   25. RDRadhi Devlukia6:14

       Skinny jeans. Skinny jeans are a b- skinny jeans, I was just checking if my microphone was running. Skinny jeans, before I said it. [laughs]

   26. JSJay Shetty6:23

       [laughs]

   27. RDRadhi Devlukia6:23

       Skinny jeans, big ick.

   28. JSJay Shetty6:26

       Now they are. At one point they were fashionable. That's what it is about icks, that there was a time when the ick could've been fashionable. Like I know one of our friends, her sister doesn't like men who wear jewelry.

   29. RDRadhi Devlukia6:38

       Oh.

   30. JSJay Shetty6:39

       Like, that's her ick. So that's what I'm trying to understand is like how seriously should people take icks?
5. 9:39 – 12:55

   Can You Get Over an Ick?

   1. JSJay Shetty9:39

      ... all the time right now.

   2. RDRadhi Devlukia9:39

      Drinks cow's milk in a glass, or drinks cow's milk full stop.

   3. JSJay Shetty9:43

      [laughs]

   4. RDRadhi Devlukia9:43

      Ick.

   5. JSJay Shetty9:45

      Using phrases like let that sink in too seriously. [laughs]

   6. RDRadhi Devlukia9:49

      Calls women females.

   7. JSJay Shetty9:51

      [laughs]

   8. RDRadhi Devlukia9:52

      [laughs] What the hell? Is he a biology teacher? [laughs] Oh.

   9. JSJay Shetty9:58

      My God. All right. Obsessing over a celebrity like they know them personally.

   10. RDRadhi Devlukia10:03

       Yeah.

   11. JSJay Shetty10:04

       I, when I have friends that refer to celebrities by their first name-

   12. RDRadhi Devlukia10:07

       First name

   13. JSJay Shetty10:07

       ... that they don't know, it's an ick. Uh, referring to their ex as crazy with no context.

   14. RDRadhi Devlukia10:13

       Mm.

   15. JSJay Shetty10:14

       You, you okay with that?

   16. RDRadhi Devlukia10:15

       Yeah, I'm all right with that.

   17. JSJay Shetty10:16

       Oh, gosh. So let's help people. Let's think about icks. What's our take?

   18. RDRadhi Devlukia10:21

       My take is that, um, you should give people-

   19. JSJay Shetty10:26

       Oh, wait. This is a better question.

   20. RDRadhi Devlukia10:27

       Yeah.

   21. JSJay Shetty10:28

       Do you ever get over a ick? Can you get over a ick?

   22. RDRadhi Devlukia10:31

       Yeah.

   23. JSJay Shetty10:31

       Like, did you get over the ick of me talking in baby voice, or did I have to stop doing it?

   24. RDRadhi Devlukia10:37

       mixture of both.

   25. JSJay Shetty10:38

       [laughs]

   26. RDRadhi Devlukia10:39

       I think the more you like someone, the less you'll find, like the l- the more you'll find y- the icks cuter. However, there are just some things that you're gonna ha- that the other person's gonna have to just stop doing if they've, the partner finds it icky more than three times.

   27. JSJay Shetty10:52

       So how do you tell someone, "Hey, I have an ick about this, and that's the reason-

   28. RDRadhi Devlukia10:57

       I think I ex- explicitly told you

   29. JSJay Shetty10:58

       ... I haven't been texting you. That's the reason I haven't been-

   30. RDRadhi Devlukia11:00

       Oh.
6. 12:55 – 14:26

   Personal Hygiene is Important

   1. JSJay Shetty12:55

      [laughs] when they run. Like, that's ... [laughs] You don't have to look at the-

   2. RDRadhi Devlukia12:57

      Yeah, give them a different bag.

   3. JSJay Shetty12:59

      Yeah.

   4. RDRadhi Devlukia12:59

      Tie in their backpack.

   5. JSJay Shetty13:00

      Yeah. [laughs] Tie in their backpack. Like, you don't have to watch that every day. Like, that's not your life. You know what I mean? Like, I, I think, I think today people find icks to get out of something they want to get out of.

   6. RDRadhi Devlukia13:13

      Mm. Yeah.

   7. JSJay Shetty13:13

      So it's like, it's like a-

   8. RDRadhi Devlukia13:15

      It's like, it's a easy reason

   9. JSJay Shetty13:16

      ... yeah, it's an easy reason. It's a scapegoat. It's, uh, it's something you use to justify why you don't wanna be with someone.

   10. RDRadhi Devlukia13:21

       Right. Right.

   11. JSJay Shetty13:22

       You just aren't attracted to them. You just aren't into them, and you don't wanna say that, so you end up coming up with this ick that justifies why you don't wanna be them.

   12. RDRadhi Devlukia13:29

       Yeah, I think so. I think an ick is a good w- easy way out.

   13. JSJay Shetty13:32

       Yeah.

   14. RDRadhi Devlukia13:33

       For sure.

   15. JSJay Shetty13:34

       Jared Freedo hosts the You Up? podcast, who's a mate of mine. He says that men ... Like, an ick would never stop a man from dating someone. If they like someone, they like someone, doesn't matter even if there's an ick. But from women it's actually a lot more serious. Do you agree?

   16. RDRadhi Devlukia13:50

       Mm, I think so.

   17. JSJay Shetty13:51

       Why?

   18. RDRadhi Devlukia13:51

       But then I think ... I wonder if, okay, let's say a girl's got bad breath. Is that not gonna be an ick for a guy?

   19. JSJay Shetty13:56

       No, of course it is.

   20. RDRadhi Devlukia13:57

       But it won't stop her from, him from dating her?

   21. JSJay Shetty13:59

       I don't know. That's a question for Jared right there. I'm not sure. Like, I, I, I mean, for me, to me that's more than an ick. To me, that's just bad hygiene.

   22. RDRadhi Devlukia14:07

       [laughs]

   23. JSJay Shetty14:07

       [laughs] Like, I'm like, that's like a basic-

   24. RDRadhi Devlukia14:10

       Let's say something else

   25. JSJay Shetty14:10

       ... yeah, exactly. That's like a basic human thing that you'd want from everyone, let alone the person you're-

   26. RDRadhi Devlukia14:15

       Yeah, that's true. That's true

   27. JSJay Shetty14:17

       ... you with. Right? It's, it's not-

   28. RDRadhi Devlukia14:18

       I, yeah, I think women definitely are potentially pickier, I'd say maybe-

   29. JSJay Shetty14:23

       Really?

   30. RDRadhi Devlukia14:23

       ... when it comes to things like that.
7. 14:26 – 15:40

   Arrogance Versus Confidence

   1. JSJay Shetty14:26

      I, I got up here the top five icks women commonly have about men.

   2. RDRadhi Devlukia14:29

      Yeah, go on.

   3. JSJay Shetty14:30

      Lack of hygiene or grooming.

   4. RDRadhi Devlukia14:31

      Oh, wait, that women have about men?

   5. JSJay Shetty14:33

      Yeah.

   6. RDRadhi Devlukia14:33

      Yeah, okay.

   7. JSJay Shetty14:33

      Dirty nails, bad breath, or unkept hair can instantly kill attraction.

   8. RDRadhi Devlukia14:38

      Wow.

   9. JSJay Shetty14:38

      Smelling bad or being generally unkept ranks high in surveys.

   10. RDRadhi Devlukia14:42

       Wow.

   11. JSJay Shetty14:42

       However, I would say I know a lot of friends who are with guys who don't smell great, and they're still with them.

   12. RDRadhi Devlukia14:48

       Oh, interesting.

   13. JSJay Shetty14:49

       Yeah. Number two is icks that women have about men, overconfidence or cockiness.

   14. RDRadhi Devlukia14:55

       Oh, that's a big ick, yes.

   15. JSJay Shetty14:56

       Bragging-

   16. RDRadhi Devlukia14:56

       Bragging

   17. JSJay Shetty14:56

       ... dominating conversations, or acting like a know-it-all is often perceived as insecurity masked as arrogance.

   18. RDRadhi Devlukia15:03

       I like that. That's a good one.

   19. JSJay Shetty15:04

       Let's talk about that. What is the difference between confidence and cockiness, and confidence and arrogance, for you?

   20. RDRadhi Devlukia15:10

       I think arrogance is when you are trying to prove to someone that what your worth is, when you're trying to prove to someone that you are better than something else or someone else. And I think confidence is ... You know, co- confidence I just find is so much quieter. It's like you just show up with energy that is you are supporting your own self. You're not trying to put other people down in trying to make yourself look better.

   21. JSJay Shetty15:37

       Right.

   22. RDRadhi Devlukia15:37

       A lot of the time with arrogance, people are trying to put other people down,

8. 15:40 – 17:25

   Childishness and Immaturity

   1. RDRadhi Devlukia15:40

      or they're acting in a way that feels superior. I think that's the difference. Arrogance is superiority. Confidence is being able to carry yourself with y- respect for yourself.

   2. JSJay Shetty15:50

      Yeah. Yeah.

   3. RDRadhi Devlukia15:51

      And I think you really see the difference when people are talking, acting, how they act towards other people, how they act towards you, the things that they say in conversation even on a date. Like, it's so obvious when someone is cocky, and usually cockiness comes from insecurity, so ...

   4. JSJay Shetty16:05

      Yeah. I, I definitely think overconfidence or arrogance is a turn-off for everyone.

   5. RDRadhi Devlukia16:09

      Yeah.

   6. JSJay Shetty16:09

      I, I don't enjoy it-

   7. RDRadhi Devlukia16:10

      Exactly

   8. JSJay Shetty16:10

      ... in a conversation. It's, it's, it's not endearing. It's not impressive. You switch off really, really quickly.

   9. RDRadhi Devlukia16:16

      Yeah.

   10. JSJay Shetty16:16

       Um, that makes a lot of sense. Number three [laughs] is immaturity or childish behavior. This includes playing too many video games-

   11. RDRadhi Devlukia16:24

       Mm

   12. JSJay Shetty16:24

       ... making crude jokes, or being emotionally unavailable or avoidant. Those are all icks for women, like serious icks.

   13. RDRadhi Devlukia16:32

       Yeah. I think the childish behavior ... It's interesting, 'cause I think some women actually, depending on what traumas they've been through when they've been younger, babying a man is what they've been used to or-

   14. JSJay Shetty16:45

       Interesting

   15. RDRadhi Devlukia16:45

       ... or are attracted to.

   16. JSJay Shetty16:47

       Interesting.

   17. RDRadhi Devlukia16:47

       A man to save, a man to look after, a man to care for. So I actually see a lot more women ... Well, I see a lot of powerful women ending up with people like that, where they have to-

   18. JSJay Shetty16:59

       Interesting

   19. RDRadhi Devlukia16:59

       ... look after them.

   20. JSJay Shetty17:00

       Interesting.

   21. RDRadhi Devlukia17:01

       But I can understand why it should be a turn-off, because you don't want to be mothering your boyfriend or your partner.

   22. JSJay Shetty17:07

       Yeah. I, I think it's really interesting. I think sometimes women get into relationships hoping the man will change.

   23. RDRadhi Devlukia17:14

       Yes.

   24. JSJay Shetty17:14

       And men get into relationships hoping the woman will never change.

   25. RDRadhi Devlukia17:18

       Yes. That's so true.

   26. JSJay Shetty17:19

       And what ends up happening is that the man doesn't change and the woman does.

   27. RDRadhi Devlukia17:22

       Mm.

   28. JSJay Shetty17:24

       So it's the opposite of what you

9. 17:25 – 21:43

   Is It Just Poor Communication?

   1. JSJay Shetty17:25

      wanted.

   2. RDRadhi Devlukia17:26

      Opposite way.

   3. JSJay Shetty17:26

      And when you get into a relationship with a guy who plays video games, he's not just gonna stop playing video games the moment you get married. That's, that's what he does.

   4. RDRadhi Devlukia17:33

      Yeah.

   5. JSJay Shetty17:34

      And you're not gonna change that about him, and I think that's what's so interesting about these icks, is that if something really affects you, you should know it's less likely to change than more likely.

   6. RDRadhi Devlukia17:45

      Yeah.

   7. JSJay Shetty17:46

      Especially if it's something conditioned and deeply a part of their life.

   8. RDRadhi Devlukia17:49

      Mm-hmm.

   9. JSJay Shetty17:50

      Right? And so if something does affect you that deeply, the two questions you have to ask is, why does this trigger me so much? And am I okay if this never changes?

   10. RDRadhi Devlukia18:01

       Yeah.

   11. JSJay Shetty18:01

       I think that's really important.

   12. RDRadhi Devlukia18:02

       It is.

   13. JSJay Shetty18:03

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   14. RDRadhi Devlukia19:34

       See, I think there's a difference between icks now and, um, what makes someone feel secure in a relationship.

   15. JSJay Shetty19:39

       Mm-hmm.

   16. RDRadhi Devlukia19:40

       Because that's a big security part of a relationship, where y- if you feel confused about where you stand, if the person isn't communicating in a way that makes you feel wanted, that actually breeds insecurity in a relationship, and I think that more than an ick, that is probably a ser- an ick, ick to me is something that's not a serious problem. An ick to me is something slightly silly that-

   17. JSJay Shetty20:02

       Yeah, yeah, yeah

   18. RDRadhi Devlukia20:02

       ... that your mind's fixated on, but you know, there is a bit of humor to it, whereas this doesn't seem like an ick. It seems like more of a serious issue, because you don't know where you stand in the relationship.

   19. JSJay Shetty20:12

       Yeah.

   20. RDRadhi Devlukia20:12

       And I think that, that you have to know the difference between an ick and something that is actually fundamental.

   21. JSJay Shetty20:18

       That's really interesting, because usually we overvalue an ick, and we undervalue a fundamental.

   22. RDRadhi Devlukia20:23

       Yes.

   23. JSJay Shetty20:23

       So-

   24. RDRadhi Devlukia20:23

       Red Flag

   25. JSJay Shetty20:24

       ... if someone runs with their backpack bouncing [laughs] -

   26. RDRadhi Devlukia20:27

       Hmm

   27. JSJay Shetty20:27

       ... we think, "Oh my gosh, they're so unattractive."

   28. RDRadhi Devlukia20:30

       Yeah.

   29. JSJay Shetty20:30

       But if someone doesn't reply, you're like, "Oh, they must be busy," right? So we make excuses for the fundamentals-

   30. RDRadhi Devlukia20:35

       Yeah
10. 21:43 – 23:38

    Top 5 Icks Men have About Women

    1. RDRadhi Devlukia21:43

       so that even the things that you would normally find unattractive, you find attractive in them, especially if it's in a toxic relationship. When it's a toxic relationship where things are up and down, apparently the hormones in your body, the chemicals in your mind, end up finding even the things that are absolutely grotesque, your body actually t- even if the person has bad breath, you don't smell the bad breath.

    2. JSJay Shetty22:01

       Wow.

    3. RDRadhi Devlukia22:02

       Even if the person, you, you get used to even their smell and the way that they speak and the, everything that you would normally find disgusting in someone else, that other people may even notice, you don't. That's why it's so funny, uh, you know, when you end up seeing someone that your friend's dating, and you're like, "How in the world?" Especially if they weren't a good person, and then you see-

    4. JSJay Shetty22:23

       Yeah, yeah

    5. RDRadhi Devlukia22:23

       ... maybe s- physically they don't match either. It's like that shallow halo effect-

    6. JSJay Shetty22:27

       Yeah

    7. RDRadhi Devlukia22:28

       ... where the person is literally seeing a completely different version-

    8. JSJay Shetty22:32

       Yeah

    9. RDRadhi Devlukia22:32

       ... to the person that they actually are.

    10. JSJay Shetty22:34

        That's fascinating. That is so true as well.

    11. RDRadhi Devlukia22:36

        Mm.

    12. JSJay Shetty22:36

        So true. All right, I wanna go through the list of the top five icks men have about women. Number one, o-

    13. RDRadhi Devlukia22:42

        Wait, can I say one more thing?

    14. JSJay Shetty22:43

        Go on.

    15. RDRadhi Devlukia22:43

        The, it's, it's like, for example, I remember I really disliked smoking when I was growing up, but then I remember thinking this guy at my college was really attractive, and, but he was a smoker. And at that point, I was like, "Oh, wow, I actually really like the smell of s-" I was around the smell of smoke so much, I ended up thinking I liked the smell of smoke.

    16. JSJay Shetty23:00

        Wow.

    17. RDRadhi Devlukia23:00

        Even though I absolutely despise smoking. And my friends have said the same thing when they've dated people who drink alcohol or when they've dated people who smoke weed. They absolutely hate it, would never do it themselves, but because they were obsessed with that person or thought that person was attractive, suddenly what they do becomes attractive.

    18. JSJay Shetty23:15

        That's why it's so im-

    19. RDRadhi Devlukia23:15

        Isn't that so interesting?

    20. JSJay Shetty23:16

        That is, yeah, and that's why it's so important to choose someone in your life that actually has the habits and things you want, because-

    21. RDRadhi Devlukia23:23

        Right

    22. JSJay Shetty23:23

        ... you're gonna be influenced-

    23. RDRadhi Devlukia23:24

        Right

    24. JSJay Shetty23:24

        ... and you're gonna be impacted even if you don't wanna be.

    25. RDRadhi Devlukia23:26

        It, no, I didn't wanna do it. I just, it, my mind shifted towards accepting it.

    26. JSJay Shetty23:29

        Right, if you would've stayed with that person or got with them or whatever-

    27. RDRadhi Devlukia23:31

        Right, right, right, right

    28. JSJay Shetty23:32

        ... that slowly would become your lifestyle.

    29. RDRadhi Devlukia23:33

        Yeah, maybe.

    30. JSJay Shetty23:34

        Right?
11. 23:38 – 29:03

    The Guy with a List (@wyszkay)

    1. RDRadhi Devlukia23:38

       don't like just because someone that you like does it.

    2. JSJay Shetty23:41

       Yeah.

    3. RDRadhi Devlukia23:42

       Opposite of icks.

    4. JSJay Shetty23:43

       Top five icks men commonly have about women. Number one, overly superficial behavior. Talking only about appearances, name-dropping, or obsessing over social media and selfies. Yeah, I, yeah, it's frustrating.

    5. RDRadhi Devlukia23:57

       I love a good selfie.

    6. JSJay Shetty23:58

       I know you do. I am your Instagram husband, and I never get a photo credit, ever.

    7. RDRadhi Devlukia24:03

       You don't, you c- once you're married, you don't need photo cred.

    8. JSJay Shetty24:06

       Why?

    9. RDRadhi Devlukia24:06

       It's just part of the relationship.

    10. JSJay Shetty24:08

        Right, okay.

    11. RDRadhi Devlukia24:09

        Yeah.

    12. JSJay Shetty24:10

        Yeah, that's an ick right there.

    13. RDRadhi Devlukia24:12

        [laughs]

    14. JSJay Shetty24:12

        And number two, playing mind games, being intentionally vague, manipulative-

    15. RDRadhi Devlukia24:15

        Yeah

    16. JSJay Shetty24:15

        ... or using passive aggressive tactics.

    17. RDRadhi Devlukia24:17

        That's a fundamental problem.

    18. JSJay Shetty24:18

        That's for both, yeah.

    19. RDRadhi Devlukia24:18

        Yeah, that's not an ick. I feel like that's a fundamental issue.

    20. JSJay Shetty24:21

        Yeah. Number three, entitlement or materialism, expecting to be spoiled without reciprocation or judging people based on money, status, or possessions.

    21. RDRadhi Devlukia24:29

        Some guys like that, to be honest.

    22. JSJay Shetty24:30

        Yeah, because that-

    23. RDRadhi Devlukia24:31

        Some guys like a girl that will give-

    24. JSJay Shetty24:31

        That gives them the ability-

    25. RDRadhi Devlukia24:32

        ... them princess treatment

    26. JSJay Shetty24:33

        ... well, some relationships like that because then it, it becomes an easy way of showing status.

    27. RDRadhi Devlukia24:38

        Yes.

    28. JSJay Shetty24:38

        Or an easy way of showing prowess.

    29. RDRadhi Devlukia24:40

        Yeah.

    30. JSJay Shetty24:41

        I don't love that, though.

Episode duration: 29:03