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Jay Shetty PodcastJay Shetty Podcast

Put Yourself First and STOP People Pleasing (The Key to Real Connection!)

Do you feel guilty when you put your needs before others by saying no? When was the last time you chose yourself—just because you needed it, not because you earned it? Today, Jay is joined by Meggan Roxanne, writer, entrepreneur, and founder of the globally loved platform The Good Quote. Known for curating some of the internet’s most powerful and inspiring affirmations, Meggan now steps into the spotlight with her own voice, sharing a remarkable personal story of loss, resilience, and transformation. From growing up in a warm and loving home to experiencing a heart-wrenching moment at just four years old, when a grandparent told her they didn’t love her, Meggan opens up about how early trauma shaped her emotional world. Following her mother’s final wish, Meggan became the caretaker for her estranged grandfather, the very man who once wounded her deeply. Through that act of grace, she discovered the true meaning of forgiveness, empathy, and unconditional love. Throughout the episode, Meggan and Jay explore the difference between people-pleasing and creating space for authentic connection, how emotional boundaries protect our well-being, and what it takes to stop repeating the pain we’ve inherited. She candidly discusses the challenges of grief, especially after losing her mother, her best friend, her guide, and how that loss forced her to reimagine her identity and rebuild from the ground up. In this episode, you'll learn: How to Forgive Someone Who Hurt You Deeply How to Set Boundaries Without Feeling Guilty How to Heal After Losing a Parent How to Reconnect with Your Intuition How to Break Generational Cycles of Trauma How to Build Confidence Through Self-Respect Even in the darkest of seasons, you have the power to find peace, reshape your path, and step into a life guided by intention, healing, and light. With Love and Gratitude, Jay Shetty What We Discuss: 00:00 Intro 00:30 The Pain of Feeling Unloved by Family 04:12 Would You Take Care of Someone Who Doesn't Love You? 10:20 How Do You Enforce Your Boundaries? 16:20 Are You a Chronic People Pleaser? 23:06 How The Good Quote Started 34:59 Do You Trust Your Intuition? 43:49 Your Intuition is Your Best Guide 45:20 How Do You Reconnect with Your Intuition? 50:52 How Meditation Helps Calm Down Your Day 53:10 Dealing with Grief, Depression, & Losing a Loved One Episode Resources: https://www.instagram.com/earthtoroxanne https://uk.linkedin.com/in/megganroxanne https://www.instagram.com/thegoodquote https://www.facebook.com/thegoodquote/ https://www.tumblr.com/thegoodquote https://www.amazon.com/How-Stop-Breaking-Your-Heart-ebook/dp/B0C8MC8G52?ref_=ast_author_mpb https://www.instagram.com/jayshetty https://www.facebook.com/jayshetty/ https://x.com/jayshetty https://www.linkedin.com/in/shettyjay/ https://www.youtube.com/@JayShettyPodcast http://jayshetty.me

Meggan RoxanneguestJay Shettyhost
May 27, 20251h 15mWatch on YouTube ↗

At a glance

WHAT IT’S REALLY ABOUT

Stopping people-pleasing through boundaries, intuition, and grief-driven self-respect growth

  1. Meggan explains she stopped people-pleasing after noticing low reciprocity and recognizing that others’ “no” is often simply a boundary, not selfishness.
  2. Through caring for a grandfather who hurt her as a child, she learned forgiveness can coexist with firm boundaries, and that enforcing consequences can improve respect and behavior.
  3. They distinguish people-pleasing from kindness by emphasizing you can create a supportive environment for others without sacrificing your own wellbeing or trying to control their happiness.
  4. Meggan shares how The Good Quote grew from personal darkness and a need for community, and how visibility, racism, and imposter syndrome shaped her confidence over time.
  5. The conversation closes with Meggan’s account of compounded loss and caregiving during her mother’s terminal illness, highlighting grief’s identity-reset and the importance of preserving memories and building community support.

IDEAS WORTH REMEMBERING

5 ideas

People-pleasing often collapses when you measure reciprocity honestly.

Meggan realized she was pouring energy into people who didn’t return it, while those same people had firm boundaries with her; that contrast exposed a self-respect gap she needed to close.

Forgiveness is a virtue practice—not permission for continued disrespect.

Meggan forgave her grandfather while also making it clear she would leave, withdraw privileges, or outsource care if he remained abusive; the relationship improved when consequences made respect non-negotiable.

A clear boundary needs a clear action attached to it.

When her grandfather threw a warm Guinness at her, she left and refused to return without an apology; the boundary “I won’t tolerate rudeness” became real because it had an immediate behavioral cost.

You can’t control someone’s happiness, but you can control the space you offer.

Both emphasize the shift from “I must please you” to “I can cultivate a healthy environment”; others still choose whether to rise to it or reject it, and that choice is not your job to manage.

Chronic people-pleasing is often a sign of a weak relationship with self.

Meggan links over-giving to fear of investing that same devotion inward; the antidote is redirecting energy toward self-care, self-trust, and practicing ‘no’ as a complete sentence.

WORDS WORTH SAVING

5 quotes

I stopped people pleasing when I realized the people that I was trying to please were not trying to reciprocate that energy to me.

— Meggan Roxanne

Moving forward, this is not happening. Because I'm not gonna care for you and deplete my own energy at the same time. That's insane.

— Meggan Roxanne

Your intuition's funny because it has to develop trust with you. You have to develop trust with it.

— Meggan Roxanne

Because imagine if, as your subconscious, I'm your subconscious, I keep giving you these great ideas and you keep ignoring me. Eventually, one day, I'm gonna stop communicating with you.

— Meggan Roxanne

The moment my mother took her last breath, I also took my last breath, and I felt... I felt something leave me.

— Meggan Roxanne

Family trauma and early emotional woundsCaregiving for someone who caused harmForgiveness with boundaries (not enabling)Defining chronic people-pleasing vs kindnessBoundary enforcement tactics and consequencesBuilding The Good Quote and creator identityIntuition, solitude, journaling, fasting, and meditationGrief, depression, suicidality, and rebuilding self

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