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Jay Shetty PodcastWill Smith's LIFE ADVICE On Manifesting Success Will CHANGE YOUR LIFE | Jay Shetty
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85 min read · 17,030 words- 0:00 – 0:47
Intro
- WSWill Smith
If you have a difficulty with another human being, there's some point of ignorance and some point of delusion that are keeping you from being able-
- JSJay Shetty
On both sides
- WSWill Smith
... on both sides. The problem is you can only worry about yours, and then once you clear yours and your vision gets clean and purified, and you approach a person from a purified space, things get a whole lot easier.
- JSJay Shetty
[upbeat music] Hey, everyone. Welcome back to On Purpose, the number one health podcast in the world thanks to each and every single one of you that come back every week to listen, learn, and grow.
- 0:47 – 7:00
Today, Jay Shetty welcomes his dear friend, Will Smith as they reminisce about the happy times and adventures they spent together, and how their friendship flourished as Will studies the teachings of the Bhagavad Gita.
- JSJay Shetty
Now, today's a very, very special episode of On Purpose. Not only is it the first episode of season three, not only am I sitting down with the one and only Will Smith, but today we're gonna dive in to the mind, the heart, and the soul of the man behind the movies and the music, and my dear, dear spiritual brother and friend. So Will, with th- you know, without any further ado, I just wanna say I am grateful, I'm humbled, I'm so happy to have spent so many special moments with you over the past year. This sounds romantic now. My wife's gonna-
- WSWill Smith
I know. [laughs]
- JSJay Shetty
... get worried again. [laughs]
- WSWill Smith
[laughs]
- JSJay Shetty
But, uh, but I mean it, man
- WSWill Smith
... Jada, she's like, "You- you've been spending a lot of time with Will."
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah. She's never felt-
- WSWill Smith
[laughs]
- JSJay Shetty
She's never felt uncomfortable about my relationship apart from you. [laughs]
- WSWill Smith
[laughs] Yeah, no.
- JSJay Shetty
The only time she's doubted me is like, "Oh, another trip with Will." I-
- WSWill Smith
Right. [laughs]
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah. [laughs] That's why this time she came along.
- WSWill Smith
We cer- we certainly have some pictures-
- JSJay Shetty
[laughs]
- WSWill Smith
... that, you know, waterfalls and, you know. [laughs]
- JSJay Shetty
[laughs]
- WSWill Smith
Glaciers.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah.
- WSWill Smith
You know? [laughs]
- JSJay Shetty
We- we definitely didn't even take all the pictures.
- WSWill Smith
Oh, no. Right.
- JSJay Shetty
But, no.
- WSWill Smith
No, it was beautiful.
- JSJay Shetty
But, uh, but no, thank you, man. This is, uh, this is gonna be special, and I'm just excited for us to serve together in this way.
- WSWill Smith
No, this is, this is fantastic. Uh, it's, uh, uh, b- been a long time coming for us to- to sit down like this. Um, uh, for- for the people listening, it's probably been a year. We're running up on a year now, right?
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah.
- WSWill Smith
So it's like, you know, 10 months or something like that-
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah, yeah
- WSWill Smith
... um, that, uh, I've been studying with- with Jay. Um, uh, I fell- fell in love with the- the Bhagavad Gita. Jay and I have been spending time. We've been hanging. We've been traveling together. Jay has really been the- the catalyst for this next phase of my life. We have, uh, committed to one another in a brotherhood, um, of service and support. And, uh, you know, we- we've been, uh, I guess w- we've been in the gym.
- 7:00 – 12:02
Jay asks Will: “Tell us a bit about what you learned from your parents and how you were able to process it positively? It’s not easy to process negative emotions with positive thoughts.
- JSJay Shetty
How do you think you were able to... Because we've talked about this before when you've talked about different, your mother, your father, what you learned from them. Tell us a bit about what you learned and how you were able to process it positively and engage with it, rather than create a negative story from it, because a lot of people may see violence and react differently.
- WSWill Smith
Yeah, yeah. I, I think there's always, uh, an aspect of us that when we feel unloved, you know, in any capacity, in any relationship, when we feel unloved, uh, when we feel mistreated, when we feel, uh, somehow disrespected, um, it's a natural reaction to want revenge. And I think that's what happens with most people specifically w- in our, in our most vulnerable stages when we're children, and we haven't done anything to deserve that kind of treatment. Um, it's really hard for the ego to not click into revenge, you know? And, you know, once I discovered that, that mechanism, once I saw that, that rrr, like that, that m- most of us walk around with.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah.
- WSWill Smith
That, you know, we, we want revenge against that mistreatment. It's a little piece of that with all of us. So the problem is that when you seek revenge, you destroy yourself.
- JSJay Shetty
Mm-hmm.
- WSWill Smith
And that's the, um, that- that's the paradoxical conflict that we all live in.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah.
- WSWill Smith
Someone has mistreated us, we want revenge, but if we take it, we hurt ourselves more. [laughs]
- JSJay Shetty
It's crazy how it's designed.
- WSWill Smith
Right? You know what I mean?
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah.
- WSWill Smith
You know, so that is the, uh, as Radhanath Swami referred to, the perplexing situation that we find ourselves in. And y- the, the, the only answer is loving kindness.
- JSJay Shetty
Mm-hmm.
- WSWill Smith
And most of us don't wanna hear that. It's like, "I'll take my chances with revenge." [laughs]
- JSJay Shetty
[laughs]
- WSWill Smith
"I'm gonna take my chances with punching this dude in the face or cussing this girl out or whatever it takes, but, uh, um, I can't do loving kindness."
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah.
- WSWill Smith
And for me, I had such a beautiful example of loving kindness in my grandmother when, when I was growing up. I always knew I wanted to be that, the way that she loved and cared for people. Um, I didn't realize that her giving was connected to her peace. That was something that, that I got a, a concept of later, but I always knew that that was my example, and I think that's the critical part. We need, we need an example. Somebody has to be an example. Human beings are, uh, creatures of example. We need, we, you gotta see it.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah.
- WSWill Smith
You know? So, uh, th- that's really where I am in my life right now. I, I want to, uh, show what it looks like to be loving and kind and giving and forgiving. Um, and, and I, I just wanna, I wanna model those virtues as best I can.
- JSJay Shetty
It's amazing how the thing we think that's gonna help us feel better-
- WSWill Smith
Yes
- JSJay Shetty
... is actually what makes us feel worse.
- WSWill Smith
Yep.
- JSJay Shetty
And you hold onto it because somewhere inside of you, you feel you have to be the person to show that person-
- WSWill Smith
Yes. Yeah. [laughs]
- JSJay Shetty
... the truth. Like, you feel like it's-
- WSWill Smith
Yes
- JSJay Shetty
... your responsibility.
- WSWill Smith
Yes. You're gonna be the hammer of justice.
- 12:02 – 17:29
Jay is curious about how Will continues to achieve success with a loving heart. It’s never easy to live with a military mindset yet even with success and fame it didn’t feel like true happiness.
- JSJay Shetty
It's phenomenal what you're achieving and what you continue to achieve. But being able to do that with a loving heart-
- WSWill Smith
Yeah, yeah
- JSJay Shetty
I mean, how does that feel internally? Does that also feel that way or, or no? Is that... Are you like, "No, no, Jay-
- WSWill Smith
No. [laughs]
- JSJay Shetty
"The, the success, the success feels way better than that, Jay. You don't get it."
- WSWill Smith
But no, but you know, we-
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah
- WSWill Smith
... we had that, we had that conversation, and there, there was a, there was a real period in my life that I had to, to struggle with we can win or I can be nice.
- JSJay Shetty
Hmm.
- WSWill Smith
Pick one.
- JSJay Shetty
[laughs]
- WSWill Smith
Right? And d- different people pick different things.
- JSJay Shetty
Right.
- WSWill Smith
For the type of material world climbing, you know, that, that I did for a, a big chunk of my life, um, it was military-minded.
- JSJay Shetty
Mm.
- WSWill Smith
You know? We're gonna get that flag to the top of that hill, and you are gonna help or you're not gonna be here, right? So that's, that's one mindset. And then after I got the flag to the hill a couple of times, and kept getting the flag to the hill, and realized that you just, you don't feel good, and you've scorched earth-
- JSJay Shetty
[laughs]
- WSWill Smith
... you know, around you. And you're like, "Nobody, nobody's really happy," you know? And then I started to have to question that mindset. You know, I had one of the greatest runs in Hollywood history, you know? Like, eight number one movies, all over 100 domestic, biggest global movie star, all of that, and my family was miserable, you know? And I had equated winning with happiness, right? It's like, "We're winning. What is y'all problem?" You know? [laughs]
- JSJay Shetty
[laughs]
- WSWill Smith
You know? And the, the transition from product focus, like military-minded, get to the top of that hill, and then I shifted into a, a mindset, and it was really my kids who brought me out of that, a, a shift into discovering like, "Well, damn, people really care about how they feel," right? [laughs]
- JSJay Shetty
[laughs]
- WSWill Smith
You know?
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah.
- WSWill Smith
And as, as crazy as that sounds-
- JSJay Shetty
No, it's true
- WSWill Smith
... like, you know, you know, my f- my father wasn't concerned with how I felt, you know? He wasn't concerned with how he felt. He was military-minded. You achieve the mission. And there's two possibilities. When I give you a mission, there's two possibilities. One, you complete the mission, or two, you're dead.
- JSJay Shetty
[laughs]
- WSWill Smith
Right? You know, and that's what my father was saying. I grew up with that. Oh, cool, right? I, I actually had to discover feelings, right? And start like, I used to have to really focus on, "Okay, how's this person feel? How's this person feel?" Not, "What do I need them to do?" And not, "They're wasting our time right now, and we're losing time, and we're gonna not finish this mission," right? But there's a, there is a balance between the mindset of achieving and loving kindness that at this point in my life I've actually discovered the magical balance. But it's really hard to get people to let go of the attack and defend achievement mindset and trust the care and concern for your fellow humans as a way of creating higher production.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah. Yeah. I hope everyone who's listening and watching right now is taking this in, because I think what you're painting is a very transparent, honest picture of our minds.
- WSWill Smith
Yeah, yeah.
- 17:29 – 20:11
Jay asks listeners to put their minds in the middle path while Will suggests learning from an athlete’s mindset and level of discipline to manifest the things that they want in their life.
- JSJay Shetty
path. I'm okay." But you know, I really hope as you're listening to this, everyone, that put yourself in those shoes, put yourself in that mindset. It's a healthy, uh, activity to do.
- WSWill Smith
And you can learn something from the extremes also, right?
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah.
- WSWill Smith
And when you, when you look at, um, the athletes, right? There's a certain extreme mindset that you... I was gonna say you have to take on. I don't know that you have to take it on. What I do know is that in this society, um, we worship that mindset-
- JSJay Shetty
Mm-hmm
- WSWill Smith
... that, um, you know, it's the, the, the can you become Michael Jordan-
- JSJay Shetty
Mm-hmm
- WSWill Smith
... without that mindset?
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah.
- WSWill Smith
You know?
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah.
- WSWill Smith
And that is a, that is a really powerful, difficult question. It's like m- most people can't sustain the mindset-
- JSJay Shetty
Yes
- WSWill Smith
... that, you know, fortunately-
- JSJay Shetty
[laughs]
- WSWill Smith
... because it's [laughs] it can be so destructive.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah.
- WSWill Smith
But most people can't sustain that level of discipline to manifest the things that they want in, in their life. And there's just a, there's a poisonous edge to that kind of discipline, and I've been to the edge of that kind of material world discipline in my mind, and I can tell you, you can have a whole lot of stuff and be miserable out there-
- JSJay Shetty
Mm
- WSWill Smith
... on that edge. And I found a much more comfortable, uh, and productive space in my life. And you still need that discipline.
- JSJay Shetty
Yes.
- WSWill Smith
But it, it, it's like when you're, when you use that kind of power to achieve things, it's like there's a, uh, there's a, there's a, a, uh, a brutal reckoning.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah. [laughs]
- WSWill Smith
[laughs] There's a brutal reckoning-
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah
- WSWill Smith
... at the, at the end of that.
- JSJay Shetty
But the amazing thing about you is you've been on that path, in that direction. I think people sometimes see these flips where they're like, "Oh, yeah, now that you are rich and successful and famous, now you're going this way." But actually, from our conversations and how you've shared with the family or even when we've, uh, worked with some of the friends in your life, it's like this has actually been a long process.
- WSWill Smith
Absolutely.
- JSJay Shetty
This isn't just 10, 12 months. This isn't just a couple of years. This is planted a seed from your grandmother-
- WSWill Smith
Yes, absolutely
- 20:11 – 25:14
Jay mentions how Will’s grandmother had a huge impact in his life. It's all about finding peace by living your life in service. His parents, on the other hand, had different principles and pushed for totally different things, yet they showed him how life should be lived.
- JSJay Shetty
Tell me about that belief your grandmother had in you.
- WSWill Smith
Mm-hmm.
- JSJay Shetty
And tell me a bit about how she planted that deep seed because I think what you said at the beginning, that we need that example, I think everyone, if they really reflected, there'd be someone in their life, either indirectly or directly-
- WSWill Smith
Yeah
- JSJay Shetty
... but sometimes we forget them. But when we've been talking and everything, your grandmother's been such a pivotal figure.
- WSWill Smith
Yeah, yeah.
- JSJay Shetty
I, I'd love for you to share what you think she did that was so powerful because maybe there are some parents listening today, and-
- WSWill Smith
Yeah
- JSJay Shetty
... brothers and sisters and grandmothers and grandparents listening today, and they'll be able to do that for their children and grandchildren.
- WSWill Smith
My father, my mother, and my grandmother, whenever I think about the, the three of them, um, I, I picture a triangle in my mind. And I see like my father was the, the base, uh, as discipline, and my mother didn't care about anything but education. Like, that you had to learn, grow, study, travel. Like, my, you know, my mother was really serious about educating the mind. And, uh, my, my grandmother, uh, was love and God. My grandmother was that grandmother at Resurrection Baptist Church, and she had, you know, we were doing our Easter recitations, and we was at the nativity.
- JSJay Shetty
[laughs]
- WSWill Smith
You know? So she was that, she was that grandmother at the church, and her life was deeply devoted to God, um, and Jesus in the form of loving service.
- JSJay Shetty
Mm-hmm.
- WSWill Smith
Right? So the form that it took was she was working hard to love everybody. You know? My, I remember my grandmother, uh, bringing homeless people into our house when we were little and washing them in our bathtub. I thought that was the nastiest thing ever. Ah! But she would be in the bathroom with her hands washing homeless people, you know? And as a child, it was like, "No!" [laughs]
- JSJay Shetty
[laughs]
- WSWill Smith
But as I grew older, I just, I just saw how dedicated and devoted she was to living her life in service. Um, it took me 50 years to figure, you know, [laughs]
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah.
- WSWill Smith
To figure out what the secret of that was, you know? But it, it's, it was, um... There was, there wasn't, there was a day of her life that wasn't devoted to, uh, loving and, and serving, you know? And I just watched her. She worked the, the, the graveyard shift at the hospital, and she watched us, my brothers and sisters, during the day while my parents were at work, you know? And then when my parents got off work, then she went, she would take a little nap, and then she would go to work at the hospital. You know? And she was the, just the, the, the happiest person that I had ever met. Nothing phased her. She was okay. Um, and I remember I was about 12, and I had started, uh, rapping. And, you know, so I had my rap book, so I had all of my, all my little curse words and everything-
- JSJay Shetty
[laughs]
- WSWill Smith
... in my rap book. And she found my rap book, and she, she never said anything, and she just opened the cover and she wrote, uh, a letter to me. Um, uh, "Dear Willard, truly intelligent people do not have to use words like this to express themselves. Uh, God has given you the gift of words. Be sure to use those words to uplift people." And, uh, you know, I was... [snorting laugh]
- JSJay Shetty
[laughs]
- WSWill Smith
I was sitting, I was reading that, and just, "Love, Gigi."
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah.
- WSWill Smith
And- You know, that was part of the reason why I never used profanity in any of my music
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah
- WSWill Smith
And it was like she, she missionized me in that way to make sure that what I was doing was uplifting others, you know? And when you're telling stories-
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah
- WSWill Smith
... you can always find the part of the story that is a gift for the potential upliftment of somebody that would see it. Yeah, you know, so, uh, but yeah, she was all God, all love.
- JSJay Shetty
[laughs] I love that man.
- WSWill Smith
Yeah.
- 25:14 – 32:06
Jay talks about the hard work Will had to do that people don’t really see. A lot of people have not seen the learning accumulated through hard work, the sacrifices made along the way, and the military mindset that Will cradled so deeply within.
- JSJay Shetty
As you started to grow in that success and that journey, and you decided you wanted everything you do to have a positive impact on others-
- WSWill Smith
Mm-hmm
- JSJay Shetty
... whether it was music and then movies, and then that journey led you to... Just tell us about the, the hard work and graft that went into the creation of what you said earlier, which was like, "I was working so hard, and my family hated me, and this didn't work."
- WSWill Smith
Mm-hmm.
- JSJay Shetty
But tell us about that hard work because I think sometimes it's forgotten.
- WSWill Smith
Yeah, yeah.
- JSJay Shetty
And, and it's, you know, it's, it's almost like you don't realize how... W- when I started spending closer time with you and started seeing you on set-
- WSWill Smith
Yeah, yeah, yeah
- JSJay Shetty
... and in the trailer, and then you'd walk out, and in two seconds you'd be in character.
- WSWill Smith
Yeah, yeah.
- JSJay Shetty
And then you'd walk back in, and you'd be Will again.
- WSWill Smith
[laughs]
- JSJay Shetty
And then, and then we were in your man cave, and you have your, um, you have the movie plotted out.
- WSWill Smith
Yeah.
- JSJay Shetty
And you'd walk me through like how that tells you what... And, and I started to understand and appreciate that what you do is a science-
- WSWill Smith
Mm-hmm
- JSJay Shetty
... and it is strategic, and systematic, and it is a skill you have worked on for decades and decades and decades. You start to realize that the external view of like, Will's charismatic, and he's cool, and you start to realize like, yes, but that is underpinned with-
- WSWill Smith
Yeah
- JSJay Shetty
... just h- hard work.
- WSWill Smith
Yeah.
- JSJay Shetty
Uh, and, and I think that that's a real awakening that a lot of people don't get to experience-
- WSWill Smith
Mm-hmm
- JSJay Shetty
... when they see you on a big screen.
- WSWill Smith
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- JSJay Shetty
Because you don't see all of that there. You don't see the, um, the learning of the lines.
- WSWill Smith
Yeah.
- JSJay Shetty
And, and you have a phenomenal memory. Like you, you know, we're studying spiritual books together, and you can remember stuff that you've read that day, and that comes from all your years of training. And, and even your ability when we first met and you said, "Jay, I'm an actor, you know, when we're dir- just direct me, and w- we can do this-
- WSWill Smith
Yeah. [laughs]
- JSJay Shetty
... because I can drop into a-
- WSWill Smith
Drop it
- 32:06 – 35:57
Jay points out that most superheroes get their powers when bad things happen to them. This is also true for everyone, that most of our experiences happen to teach us a lesson. Will then added that there is no such thing as a bad experience.
- JSJay Shetty
when we start looking at our lives this way, not in a, not in a fake way or a ingenuine way, but, but really start to process some of these things to see the powers that it gave us-
- WSWill Smith
Absolutely
- JSJay Shetty
All, all the superheroes that we all love in sci-fi movies-
- WSWill Smith
Yeah
- JSJay Shetty
... they all got their powers from bad things that happened to them
- WSWill Smith
Yes, exactly
- JSJay Shetty
Like, no one ever had something good happen to them and then they... Like, for Spider-Man, he got bit by a spider
- WSWill Smith
By, yeah. No, yeah. [laughs]
- JSJay Shetty
For this person, like, got abandoned by his parents. Like, all the superheroes we all love and worship-
- WSWill Smith
Yeah
- JSJay Shetty
... all got their powers from something bad happening to them
- WSWill Smith
You know, it's really difficult to say that to someone-
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah
- WSWill Smith
... in the, in the middle of the, the throes of-
- JSJay Shetty
And you shouldn't
- WSWill Smith
... a traumatic experience
- JSJay Shetty
We've talked about that. [laughs]
- WSWill Smith
Yeah, we've talked about that, right? But-
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah
- WSWill Smith
... you know, from sitting on this side of the experiences that I've shared, I've, you know, in, in my life and in my experience, um, there's, there's, there's no such thing as a bad experience
- JSJay Shetty
Mm-hmm
- WSWill Smith
Right? There's experiences you don't like
- JSJay Shetty
And they hurt
- WSWill Smith
And they hurt, right? But to define something as a bad experience, for, for me, um, has not been true. Everything that's ever happened to me in my life that at the time, um, w- was deeply traumatic and, and debilitating, you know? There's, there's, you know, been only two times in my life when w- I contemplated suicide
- JSJay Shetty
Wow
- WSWill Smith
You know, there's been two times in my life, um, you know, and the, the, the once was when my, my, uh, mother and father, uh, separated. When my parents broke up and I, you know, I was 12, and, you know, that was one of the only th- you know, serious times in my life that I, I contemplated suicide. But even out of that, as I look back on that, the pain of that experience cultivated devotion in my life to my family, and I just never wanted to have my children suffer that. And of course the, you know, the, I got divorced with, from Sheree, so that was, I was recreating that situation. But it, it, it woke me up in a way that forced me to try to, uh, connect with my children. So the, the negative experiences or the things that were d- awful at the time, th- you know, there's the, there's always the other side of the coin. And in my experience, I've cultivated, uh, only positive things-
- JSJay Shetty
Mm
- WSWill Smith
... out of the most negative experiences, uh, of my life. My, my, my father's death, um, and the six weeks up to my father's death was probably the most formative time in my life. And as painful as it was and as difficult it was and all the stuff that came up during the time, I still, it, it was a powerful, formative, positive experience in my life
- JSJay Shetty
Te- tell us a bit about that, if you don't mind-
- WSWill Smith
Yeah
- 35:57 – 42:51
Jay taps into Will’s last moments with his father and how he coped with the loss. The lesson learned from the experience is to always be genuine with your every “Hello” and “Goodbye”, who knows it could be the last.
- JSJay Shetty
of their parent. What was it that was so powerful that allowed you to feel that way about that moment? 'Cause
- WSWill Smith
Um, I got a, I got a gift that some people don't get, and it was that the doctors told us he had six weeks to live, right? So, and then he lived for four months
- JSJay Shetty
Mm-hmm
- WSWill Smith
Right? So I, I got a warning. So most pe- you know, most people don't get a warning. You just get the call one day, and you just, you just didn't get a, a chance. Um- And when I found out that he was dying, um, it just by the grace of God was in the middle of the shooting, I was doing a movie called Collateral Beauty, and it was about a guy dealing with the death of his daughter. So I was into the, uh, Tibetan Book of Living and Dying and, um, reading all the, uh, was it Elizabeth Kubler, uh, just reading all of the, all this stuff about death. So I'd been programmed for six months, and I had read and studied all of this, all these books about death and grief and dying, and then I get the message, and I was like... I s- you know, I sat down with my father, and I, of course, I had all of my traumas and all of my issues and everything with him, but I had also been, um, six months of programming of all of the things that you're supposed to do, [laughs] you know, to prepare yourself for the death of a loved one. And, you know, so I, I sat with him, and we, we talked about everything. So I said everything that I wanted to say, and we, we got to those six weeks, and when we got to those six weeks, uh, we were clear, but then he lived for another three months. So what happened was every meeting, every time I saw him, I was flying back to LA, but every, every time I saw him, um, was like, "Oh, thank God."
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah.
- WSWill Smith
And then every time we said goodbye, we made sure we said a good, thorough, full goodbye 'cause we knew at any moment that could, it could actually be the last goodbye.
- JSJay Shetty
Mm.
- WSWill Smith
Right? And but the lesson was it's always like that. When we say goodbye, we can't know if this is the last time we will ever see... You should never greet someone casually or say goodbye to someone casually.
- JSJay Shetty
Mm.
- WSWill Smith
And that lesson came from that experience. Every moment was so rich. Every time we saw each other, it was, "Ah." And every time we said goodbye, we made sure it was a good, thorough, full goodbye. Th- but that's how you're supposed to live every day anyway.
- JSJay Shetty
[laughs]
- WSWill Smith
Every time you leave your house could be the last time. You're supposed to, like, be in the richness of your hellos and goodbyes and thank yous, you know? And, you know, so I, I learned that lesson, um, with my father, and then when he, when he passed, it was easy. We were f- we were finished, you know? And just the lesson of that kind of presence and that kind of attention and that kind of recognition that tomorrow's not promised, you know? And th- just getting sh- getting shaken out of thinking that you're gonna have, you know, tomorrow. Anybody who hasn't spoken to their parents or their brother or their cousin that they had a thing with or their ex and they don't talk anymore, call them right now. You just don't, like, don't think you're gonna have a chance to call them to, to mar- to tomorrow or next week, and it's like that, that opportunity with my father changed every relationship in my life. I, I've cleaned all of the relationships in my life to no regret. I do not want someone to be gone, and I wish I had and wish I could have and all. I'm, I'm just, I'm not doing that in my life.
- JSJay Shetty
That's beautiful, man. Thank you for sharing that. That's, that's just... Hearing you say that, I think there's a lot of people who needed to hear that.
- WSWill Smith
Mm.
- JSJay Shetty
And I'm hoping everyone's gonna pick up the phone and-
- WSWill Smith
Yeah
- JSJay Shetty
... message, and if that person's not here anymore, still write them a letter.
- WSWill Smith
It's... Right. Absolutely.
- JSJay Shetty
Right?
- WSWill Smith
Yeah.
- JSJay Shetty
If they're not here anymore and you didn't get to say all of that, write a letter.
- WSWill Smith
Mm-hmm.
- JSJay Shetty
Read it out to them.
- WSWill Smith
Yeah.
- JSJay Shetty
Read it to a picture of them if that's what it takes.
- WSWill Smith
Yes, absolutely.
- JSJay Shetty
Like, allow yourself to share-
- WSWill Smith
Yeah
- JSJay Shetty
... and express.
- WSWill Smith
Yeah.
- 42:51 – 49:07
Jay asks Will about how the tradition to learn new religion every year, how this strengthened his bond with Jada, and the lessons learned while studying these different religions.
- JSJay Shetty
family, I realized that you'd taken on a challenge to, like, study a world religion every year.
- WSWill Smith
Yeah.
- JSJay Shetty
And tell us about that and what you learned along the way. What were some of the traditions that stood out in your journey, uh, that, that... And, and what did you learn from them, whether it was the Kabbalah or even Scientology, all those, because you've shared so many beautiful lessons with me from what you've studied.
- WSWill Smith
Yeah.
- JSJay Shetty
And I'd love to pass them on.
- WSWill Smith
So what, what was, uh... I guess probably in the, the first 10 years of our marriage, that was, uh, me and Jada's bonding, right? So every year we would pick a spiritual tradition, and we would study it all, all the way through.
- JSJay Shetty
How did you even start doing that? Like, because when I h- when I heard you did that, I think Jada told me first, and-
- WSWill Smith
Yeah
- JSJay Shetty
... when I heard you did that, I was just like, f- I was, I was just... It, it just took me aback because I've almost... You don't come across that all the time.
- WSWill Smith
Mm-hmm.
- JSJay Shetty
And I, I was lucky enough to study world religions. My, my father started encouraging me when I was about 14 to start reading spiritual books.
- WSWill Smith
Mm.
- JSJay Shetty
And I, I dated a Muslim girl who asked me to read the Quran. That's how I read the Quran-
- WSWill Smith
Mm
- JSJay Shetty
... which was a wonderful, uh, experience of my life. At 16, I read the Bible because we would celebrate Christmas, and I'd feel guilty that we celebrated Christmas, but I didn't, hadn't read the Bible.
- WSWill Smith
Oh, right, right, right, right.
- JSJay Shetty
So I started going to church on Christmas and then reading about, uh, Christ in the Bible, and I just absolutely fell in love with the scripture. And then I was just reading so many different books, and finally I came back to The Gita, which was the book I was brought up with.
- WSWill Smith
Mm-hmm.
- JSJay Shetty
But yeah, tell me about even why you and Jada decided to do that.
- WSWill Smith
So I don't even, I don't even know how it-
- JSJay Shetty
[laughs]
- WSWill Smith
... developed as a thing. I know, um, uh, when we got married, we were trying to decide, you know, what, what church we were gonna get married in. Were we gonna get married in Baltimore or Philly, and was it, would it, would it... Who was gonna be the, the-
- JSJay Shetty
Priest
- WSWill Smith
... priest, you know. Would it... And, you know, so Gammy had a different religious background than Gigi and all. You know, so we were trying to-
- JSJay Shetty
[laughs]
- WSWill Smith
... figure all of that kind of stuff out and, and Jada didn't wanna do any of that. Jada wanted for she and I to go to a mountain, you know, and, you know, pledge our love and devotion to one another to God without... You know, she felt like we, we weren't going to, um, adhere to this specific religious tradition. We would just be picking it for g- our, her mother or my grandmother or something to try to figure that out. So, um, I think the discussion about the, the religious background we would raise our children in is what came up, uh, when we were, when we first got married. Um, and she grew up in a thing called the Ethical Society in, in Baltimore, and they would honor the, the different religions. Um, and my background, I, I, I grew up, I went to a Baptist church. Um, I went to a Catholic school. And some- somewhere in that first decade of our marriage, we were like, "Oh, wouldn't it be hot if we could say that we had read, cover to cover, all of the major holy books?" Um, and we, we started with the, the Bible, and I just remember seeing her Bible was mar- You know how I do my books now?
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah. [laughs]
- WSWill Smith
You see how I'd like all my books are highlighted all the way through.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah, yeah.
- WSWill Smith
And, you know, she completed the entire Bible, you know, seven months before me.
- 49:07 – 54:53
Jay talks to Will about the wisdom within books, how past people had lived through the same problems that most of us are dealing with today. Treating people the way you want to be treated is essential in maintaining peaceful relationships around you.
- WSWill Smith
Yeah
- JSJay Shetty
... in a internal way, that when you're diving into these books of wisdom, there's just so much there to unearth.
- WSWill Smith
Yeah.
- JSJay Shetty
Because people have been through the same challenges for decades, and decades, and decades.
- WSWill Smith
The, the, the problems have already been solved.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah. [laughs]
- WSWill Smith
[laughs]
- JSJay Shetty
And lived, and lived for long enough.
- WSWill Smith
Lived and solved.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah.
- WSWill Smith
Y- you know?
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah.
- WSWill Smith
And at the core of all, all of the, you know, the, the spiritual teachings that I've ever s- studied, at the, at the, the core of all of the ideas, um, how you treat your neighbor is central.
- JSJay Shetty
[laughs]
- WSWill Smith
Right? [laughs]
- JSJay Shetty
Yes, absolutely.
- WSWill Smith
Yet somehow people manage to twist, you know, in, in all the faiths and all backgrounds-
- JSJay Shetty
Totally
- WSWill Smith
... people do unto others as you would have them do unto you is very clear.
- JSJay Shetty
Mm-hmm.
- WSWill Smith
If you ask yourself that question, "Well, in this situation, how would I have them do unto me?" And you did that, you'd never have a problem.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah.
- WSWill Smith
Because the answer is never gonna be I think they should curse me out, and spit on me, and whoop my ass 'cause I was tripping.
- JSJay Shetty
[laughs]
- WSWill Smith
[laughs] It's like, you just, you, you know-
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah
- WSWill Smith
... I mean, I guess somebody would, would-
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah, some- yeah, maybe
- WSWill Smith
... would think [laughs]
- JSJay Shetty
No, no, no, no. I think you're right.
- 54:53 – 56:29
Jay explains the Analogy of the Mirror wherein people become so disconnected from nature that everything becomes instant and our mindset has become NOW whereas nature is never instant.
- JSJay Shetty
And it's, it's the example, the analogy of the mirror that's given, um, in the Vedic tradition around how when you walk in and you try and clean a mirror that hasn't been cleaned- ... for lifetimes, it's dusty
- WSWill Smith
Yeah
- JSJay Shetty
And so when you start cleaning it, the dust comes up in your face
- WSWill Smith
Oh
- JSJay Shetty
And you're like, "Oh, I can't see. I can't-
- WSWill Smith
Yeah
- JSJay Shetty
... I can't see," and that's what we're all going through
- WSWill Smith
Yeah
- JSJay Shetty
And we, when you start realizing what you just said, the day-to-day, it's like if you, if, if all of us said we want to plant... I keep using gardening analogies, but it's only because it makes so much sense. I feel because we're so disconnected from nature-
- WSWill Smith
Yeah
- JSJay Shetty
... our mindset has become instant-
- WSWill Smith
Yeah
- JSJay Shetty
... and our mindset has become now
- WSWill Smith
Mm
- JSJay Shetty
Whereas when you watch nature, nature's never instant
- WSWill Smith
Yeah
- JSJay Shetty
Like-
- WSWill Smith
I call that hunting versus farming
- JSJay Shetty
Right, okay [laughs]
- WSWill Smith
Everybody-
- JSJay Shetty
Go ahead, yeah
- WSWill Smith
... hunting versus farming, where, where people just like, just, let's, let's get it
- JSJay Shetty
[laughs]
- WSWill Smith
Let's get it and eat, right? [laughs]
- JSJay Shetty
That's a great-
- WSWill Smith
Yeah
- JSJay Shetty
I love that
- WSWill Smith
Yeah
- JSJay Shetty
I love that
- WSWill Smith
You know, versus, "No, we're gonna, like, we have to plant a crop"
- 56:29 – 58:54
Jay shares the first time he communicated with Will. It surprised him how Will can be so committed to the things he sets his mind on. And that prompted Jay to relearn and fall back in love with the things he fell in love years ago. Commitment is changing yourself through constant practice.
- JSJay Shetty
you know, and I, again, it was your commitment. I remember when we were on that first phone call and I was like, you were like, "Oh yeah, I wanna work on this." I was like, "How much time do you have? Like, how, how much time do you have?" And I, you know, you're Will Smith, so I'm thinking you don't have any time. And, and I don't know how serious you get yet
- WSWill Smith
Yeah. [laughs]
- JSJay Shetty
I'm, I'm not, I'm not aware yet of how, how immersed-
- WSWill Smith
Yeah
- JSJay Shetty
... and obsessed you get with stuff
- WSWill Smith
[laughs]
- JSJay Shetty
I'm still learning about you. And then you're like, "I've got two hours," and I was like, "All right, two hours a week? Two hours bi-weekly? Two hours monthly?"
- WSWill Smith
[laughs]
- JSJay Shetty
You're like, "No, two hours a day." [laughs]
- WSWill Smith
Two hours a day. [laughs]
- JSJay Shetty
And I was like, "Wow, he's real." I was like, "He's serious"
- WSWill Smith
Yeah. [laughs]
- JSJay Shetty
I was like... I was like, "Wow, he's, he's for real"
- WSWill Smith
Mm
- JSJay Shetty
And then, you know, it was just, it was... And I'd go away, and you reinspired so much of my own study. And that's what I was telling to you, over Christmas, which is when we kind of broke off as I went to London and, and you'd been traveling, it's like I spent the whole of Christmas reading myself for four to eight hours a day, meditating again-
- WSWill Smith
That's beautiful
- JSJay Shetty
... because I felt I had to be more to give you more
- WSWill Smith
That's beautiful
- JSJay Shetty
And, and I think that that was such a gift you gave me-
- WSWill Smith
Mm
- JSJay Shetty
... where I fell back in love with what I fell in love with years ago-
- WSWill Smith
That's beautiful
- JSJay Shetty
... because of the work we were doing
- WSWill Smith
Yeah
- JSJay Shetty
And because when you're answering someone's questions, you have to read deeper and think more and reflect more
- WSWill Smith
Mm-hmm
- JSJay Shetty
And so for me, I went away from those meetings going, "Gosh, I, you know, I better start reading more"
- WSWill Smith
Better... Yeah
- JSJay Shetty
You know, it was... But it, that's what's so beautiful about sharing something-
- WSWill Smith
Yeah
- 58:54 – 1:01:28
Will explains why the central focus of his life is having a successful love relationship. This determination came after his experience with his parents divorce. He continues to seek knowledge on achieving this goal.
- WSWill Smith
The s- the central, um, problem that has been the focus of my life and everything that I've done has been centered on, um, having a successful love relationship, right? So I saw my parents when, when they were growing up, and I hated that my parents', uh, marriage deteriorated. And, um, you know, as young as I can remember, five, six years old, I wanted to be married, I wanted to have a family. Um, I've never been the guy that, that d- you know, wanted to do threesomes and groupies. And I, like, I just, I've never been that guy. I always w- wanted to, uh-
- JSJay Shetty
Commit
- WSWill Smith
... commit and have a single successful relationship. So the, the, the scientist in my mind and in my study of s- spiritual texts and things like that, I've always been looking for the secret to, um, successful, uh, love relationships. And then as I've grown, it's sort of expanded and I'm seeing the through line, uh, oh, the same basic ideas are successful parenting, and the same basic ideas are being a successful follower or a successful leader or a successful student. And I started to see the central issues with all of human relating. And it's, it's, the, the problems, or it's not even problems, the problem is really singular in if you're talking about a husband and a wife or you're talking about a, a parent and a child or a Democrat and a Republican or, uh, a, you know, a Saudi and an American, whatever, w- w- in all of the configurations of, of human difficulty At the, at the s- center of it is almost exclusively a lack of understanding of the other person's perspective.
- JSJay Shetty
Mm.
- WSWill Smith
Right? And, you know, it sounds, it's simple and it, it, it, it m- may oversimplify slightly, but
- 1:01:28 – 1:07:59
Will discusses why the concepts of ignorance and delusion are always the center of problems in every human relationship. All issues within human relations stem from a lack of understanding.
- WSWill Smith
the, the, the concept of ignorance, the concepts of ignorance and delusion are always the problem.
- JSJay Shetty
[laughs] Yeah.
- WSWill Smith
Right? It's, it's always the center. If you have a difficulty with another human being, there's some point of ignorance and some point of delusion that are keeping you from being able-
- JSJay Shetty
On both sides
- WSWill Smith
... on both sides.
- JSJay Shetty
[laughs]
- WSWill Smith
Right? And the, the problem is you can only worry about yours.
- JSJay Shetty
Mm-hmm.
- WSWill Smith
You have to clear yours, and then once you clear yours and your vision gets, uh, clean and purified, and you approach a person from a purified space, things get a whole lot easier.
- JSJay Shetty
Mm.
- WSWill Smith
You know? And it's like you're al- you're, you are always bringing poison to the party.
- JSJay Shetty
Mm-hmm.
- WSWill Smith
And when you recognize that in any difficulty you're having with any human being, you brought poison to the party.
- JSJay Shetty
Mm-hmm.
- WSWill Smith
[laughs] Right? And if you can focus on locating and purifying the, the poison you brought-
- JSJay Shetty
Mm
- WSWill Smith
... it opens up entirely new avenues of connection and compromise and solutions that you can create with a person.
- JSJay Shetty
Mm.
- WSWill Smith
And, you know, that has really been the, the central focus of my life, and being an actor has been spectacular in that way because my life is exploring my mind.
- JSJay Shetty
Mm-hmm.
- WSWill Smith
You know? And changing it, right? When I play a character who believes something that I don't believe, I have to learn how to feel something that's in opposition to my truth.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah.
- WSWill Smith
Which is a spectacular skill set to have to uproot beliefs-
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah
- WSWill Smith
... implant new ideas, and have them blossom on camera at the right moment.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah.
- WSWill Smith
You know? It's been such a, a powerful, um, inner process of development to explore acting in conjunction with spirituality and supreme absolute truth. You know, to explore that as my job-
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah
- WSWill Smith
... is fantastic.
- JSJay Shetty
[laughs] Everyone should be trained as an actor.
- 1:07:59 – 1:13:42
Will retells his unforgettable encounter with Nelson Mandela and how he was offered to be his student about life struggles.
- WSWill Smith
I was sitting with Mr. Mandela. It may, it may have even been that day. And we were sitting, it was calm. He just had this look on his face. And I said, uh, I said, "What's that look on your face?" And he was kind of looking, he was just watching people. I said, "You know something that the rest of us don't know." [laughs]
- JSJay Shetty
[laughs] He definitely did.
- WSWill Smith
Yeah. And he looked at me, and he, it, the look that I recognize now was he said, "Oh," right? That he was like, "That's the right question."
- JSJay Shetty
Mm.
- WSWill Smith
You know? And he said, um, he said, "If you come spend some time with me, I'll teach you."
- JSJay Shetty
Mm-hmm.
- WSWill Smith
And somehow I was so, I just felt so unworthy of that.
- JSJay Shetty
Mm-hmm.
- WSWill Smith
He reached out to me every year before he died, and, you know, he said, "I'm an old man. You need to come spend some time with me." And I just felt unworthy, you know? Um, and he wanted to teach me what we're studying [laughs]
- JSJay Shetty
[laughs]
- WSWill Smith
You know? He, he wanted... You know, I, I, I've, I've tasted a little bit of what he wanted to teach me. And y- the, the, the question is, how can you smile in this world?
- JSJay Shetty
Mm.
- WSWill Smith
You know? 'Cause you're not gonna change it.
- JSJay Shetty
Mm-hmm.
- WSWill Smith
You know? You're gonna, you're gonna do your part, but th- this, this, this world is chaotic, and it's brutal, and it can be really unloving.
- JSJay Shetty
Mm-hmm.
- WSWill Smith
And how do you do your part with a smile on your face?
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah.
- WSWill Smith
You know?
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah.
- WSWill Smith
And it was, um, it was really beautiful. One of the few things, not, not even, you know... I know things happen in their, in their time, so it's not a, not a regret, regret, regret-
- JSJay Shetty
[laughs]
- WSWill Smith
... but it's like a regret. [laughs]
- JSJay Shetty
[laughs] Well, I, I always say to you that it's, first of all, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's actually a very, um... The fact that you didn't go because you felt unworthy-
- WSWill Smith
Mm-hmm
- JSJay Shetty
... is, is a, at least from the traditions I've studied, would be considered ex- extremely good spiritual qualification-
- WSWill Smith
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm
- JSJay Shetty
... for learning.
- WSWill Smith
Yeah. [laughs]
- JSJay Shetty
Like, like when, when we think... It, it's weird, like spiritual life is like it's teaching you self-worth without having low self-esteem.
- 1:13:42 – 1:21:06
Jay is curious why Will is so moved by the Story of Arjun. Will eagerly explains the story and why it resonated with so much.
- JSJay Shetty
Arjun as a character for you has been... Because you even, and I think this is because of you and your storytelling, you even brought Arjun in my life more to life, to mind.
- WSWill Smith
Mm-hmm.
- JSJay Shetty
So tell me a bit about why Arjun was so synonymous with you and-
- WSWill Smith
You know, so the, there are, um, figures in, in spiritual texts and, uh, just in general for human beings we- you know, being creatures of example. And there's, you know, for probably for five or six years before, uh, Arjun, I j- I, I just was stuck on Abraham. I just loved Abraham's life, right? And I was following Abraham and on his, you know, on his death bed, he gets up to wash the feet of the guests in his house. And you know, just stories like that, you know, um, just really stuck with me. So then I started reading, um, about Arjun and the circumstance that he was in, um... For people that don't know, um, uh, Arjun is in, uh, a, a battle. His, his family has tripped out. He's a, he's a, a wonderful archer. He's the best archer in the world, and his family trips out and take the kingdom and they're like, you know, they snatch his wife and they're trying to disrobe his wife. And he's looking like, "Yo, what are y'all jokers doing?"
- JSJay Shetty
[laughs]
- WSWill Smith
Like [laughs] and he comes home and he's like, and they seize the kingdom, and he can't believe that they have done this. And he, you know, he's a warrior, and you know, he could get, he could get the kingdom back, you know, but these are his uncles and his, his brothers-in-laws and his teachers and people that he loved and trusted, and they took his kingdom. And they prepared an army, and they're gonna fight Arjuna, and he's, he's devastated that his family and his friends and all of that, for material gain, would, would do this to him, and he's deeply pious. And they prepare an army, the greatest army that's ever been assembled, except that they don't know that God is driving Arjuna's chariot.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah. [laughs]
- WSWill Smith
[laughs] Right? Right? And they think they're going to tear through Arjuna, they're gonna do all of this, but God is driving Arjuna's chariot, right? And even in that, you know, Arjun, he's, he's, he's like, "How can me killing all of my family be the right answer?" Right? And on the, on the other side of that, he's like, "Well, I'll just let them kill me. I'm not doing that. There's no version of me going into battle with them. I don't care how wrong they are. I don't care." And it's, and as I just got deeper and deeper into that story, it's like I feel like that all the time, right? I feel like I'm in, um, what Radhanath Swami referred to as a perplexing situation.
- JSJay Shetty
Always.
- WSWill Smith
Always, right?
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah. [laughs]
- WSWill Smith
That I feel stuck in a perplexing situation with people I love where there's not clean answers, right? And I always feel strong enough, like if, if you, if you wanna fight, we can fight. I know, I know how to fight, but that, how can that be the right thing?
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah.
- WSWill Smith
You know? And I just really related to, um, how the Gita handles those kinds of perplexing situations, and recognizing that's what life is. You are born into a perpetual perplexing situation.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah.
- WSWill Smith
And that the, the, it was, it was the first time that I'd ever heard the spiritual idea like that, that life is a perplexing situation and you're never gonna get around being stuck in the duality. You have to elevate above the, the whole thing.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah.
- WSWill Smith
You know? And the, the, the Christian concept about that that I, I always heard and never understood fully, my grandmother would say all the time, "You gotta let go and let God."
- JSJay Shetty
[laughs] Yeah.
- WSWill Smith
Right?
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah.
- WSWill Smith
And it was, and it was like that, it just, you know, the, the, the Gita filled in that concept of what it really means. It doesn't mean don't do anything.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah, yeah.
- WSWill Smith
Let go and let God doesn't mean don't do anything.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah.
- WSWill Smith
It means do your divine duty.
- JSJay Shetty
Mm-hmm.
- WSWill Smith
... whatever that may be. And just for whatever reason, the study of the Gita at this particular point in my, my life really clarified a lot of ideas of how to move through a, a world where you almost can't do it right.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah. [laughs]
- WSWill Smith
[laughs] Right?
- 1:21:06 – 1:26:25
Jay explains that most of us are living our life based on the result of our actions, which we think is a sign of success. We shouldn’t be living a life based on the possible results of our actions, instead we should live for ourselves and our own happiness.
- JSJay Shetty
And that messes us up-
- WSWill Smith
Yep
- JSJay Shetty
... because the result of your activities is not under your control.
- WSWill Smith
Yes, absolutely.
- JSJay Shetty
And so if you're living your life based on the result of your activities being a signal that you're successful-
- WSWill Smith
Right
- JSJay Shetty
... you're setting yourself up to-
- WSWill Smith
Absolutely
- JSJay Shetty
... and all of us do it all the time.
- WSWill Smith
I was using, um, Jada's reaction to my actions as a measure of the quality of my actions.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah.
- WSWill Smith
And one thing has nothing to do with the other.
- JSJay Shetty
To the other. Yeah, absolutely.
- WSWill Smith
Right? And that's, that's not what we're taught, right? And, you know, the, the, the, the concept that someone's reaction to your behavior is theirs, and your behavior is yours.
- JSJay Shetty
Mm-hmm.
- WSWill Smith
And when you try to marry the two, when you try to use the outcome as a measure of the quality of your own being-
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah
- WSWill Smith
... that is the kiss of death.
- JSJay Shetty
Correct.
- WSWill Smith
The, this, the way that this material world works, you can do everything right-
- JSJay Shetty
[laughs]
- WSWill Smith
... and it still go wrong in terms of outcome.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah.
- WSWill Smith
And you can do everything wrong, and it still goes right-
- JSJay Shetty
Right, in the outcome
- WSWill Smith
... in the outcome. The outcome is not connected to the quality of your behavior, and that is such a hard idea to, you know, to digest. So when I started interacting with Jada and with my family as, uh, what a friend of mine, Michaela, Michaela Bones-
- JSJay Shetty
Love Michaela
- WSWill Smith
... yeah, what she refers to as a freestanding man.
- JSJay Shetty
Mm-hmm.
- WSWill Smith
Right? So I am, I am certain and I am committed to being who I am and how I wanna be without a craving for someone's approval, right? Because I know their approval doesn't have anything to do with me.
- 1:26:25 – 1:31:05
Jay and Will agree on this: It's not a problem if you have comprehension of what's happening around you. You don't call things problems that you have complete comprehension of.
- JSJay Shetty
I would see that dedication, and I think if, you know, to find time in between when you're filming a movie and it's, you know, big budgets and all this te- everything, and your, your s- your focus was here.
- WSWill Smith
Yeah. Yeah.
- JSJay Shetty
Your focus was here.
- WSWill Smith
Yeah.
- JSJay Shetty
Even in amongst all of that, that was truly inspirational. And, uh, you know, that, that behind-the-scenes look at your, your internal journey is, ha- has had such a big impact on my life.
- WSWill Smith
Man.
- JSJay Shetty
It's, it's a no excuses journey.
- WSWill Smith
Yeah. It's the only thing to do.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah.
- WSWill Smith
Right? So and that's to learn.
- JSJay Shetty
Mm-hmm.
- WSWill Smith
Right? To f- we have to free ourselves from the, the darkness of our own ignorance. And the... You wouldn't call some of- something a problem if you understood it. The problem is you don't understand it.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah. [laughs]
- WSWill Smith
Right? That's why you're calling it a problem, right? You don't, you don't call things problems that you have complete comprehension of, right? So the, the, the, the process of freeing yourself from the pain and the m- the misery of, of your difficulties and your problems is in, you know, constantly cultivating a broader comprehension of the deeper absolute truth of what's actually happening, right? And one of the things that I learned is that if I feel bad, um, if I'm unhappy, if I'm upset, if I'm disrupted or disturbed, the only thing that could do that is my ignorance.
- JSJay Shetty
Mm-hmm.
- WSWill Smith
That's the only thing that creates m- m- misery is you, you, you slip into a sort of hopelessness of not being able to figure it out.
- JSJay Shetty
Mm-hmm.
- WSWill Smith
You know? And I just, for, you know, for me, it's I've grown, gotten to the, to the place that life is school, right? You know, you're not getting the promotion you want at work, that's school. Get it, figure it out.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah.
- WSWill Smith
You know, someone in your family is sick. That's school. That's like l- l- life is the greatest teacher there is. You just have to be willing to learn and recognizing that your pain and your suffering is the thing that the universe is poking at so you recognize that's where you're ignorant.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah.
- WSWill Smith
You know? You're, you're, you wouldn't be having those sh- struggles in those areas if you had a deep, um, broad comprehension of the fundamental realities of those situations.
- JSJay Shetty
Mm-hmm. Yeah. It's, uh, so beautifully said again. It's... I, when as I was listening to you, I was thinking about how we're programmed to believe that life is for enjoyment.
- WSWill Smith
Right.
- JSJay Shetty
But actually it's for education.
- WSWill Smith
It's for education, yes. Absolutely.
- JSJay Shetty
And, and we keep seeking enjoyment-
- WSWill Smith
Yes
- JSJay Shetty
... in the education.
- WSWill Smith
Yes.
- 1:31:05 – 1:33:18
Will relives his character as The Genie, a character so similar to his personality, his core. The concept of the sacred clown, the singing, dancing, and joy it brings, is beautiful conduit for the ideas.
- JSJay Shetty
tell us about how that's now coming through in the work you're doing, like how you've actually brought this into reality because-
- WSWill Smith
Mm
- JSJay Shetty
... sometimes it can feel very heady.
- WSWill Smith
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- JSJay Shetty
But you've really been working hard on taking it out of the head, into the heart, and into the world.
- WSWill Smith
Yeah. Yeah, and that was the, that was one of the things about, um, uh, Aladdin, Aladdin that was so defining for me, you know? And that, that concept of the sacred clown, I had written that down in one of my books, you know, five or six years ago. And it's like, um- At, at my core that's either who I am or who I wanna be, but it's in there, it's in, it's in-
- JSJay Shetty
Truly, yeah [laughs]
- WSWill Smith
[laughs] Yeah. It's in there really deep. And in playing the Genie, it was like [gasps] that, I was at home, right? That combination of fun, light, silliness, and the im- imparting wisdom to, to Aladdin, right? I was like, "That, that's who I wanna be in the world. I wanna be singing and dancing and being silly and playing and all of that, and then sneaking the ideas in-
- JSJay Shetty
[laughs]
- WSWill Smith
... you know, under the joy. Um, but I had, I had, uh, heard that, I think it was the, the, the Lakota-
- JSJay Shetty
Yes
- WSWill Smith
... Indians or something like that-
- JSJay Shetty
Yes. That, that sounds right
- WSWill Smith
... the Native Americans. Yeah.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah, yeah.
- WSWill Smith
Where they, they had the, the image of the, the, the sacred clown.
- JSJay Shetty
Which is often considered negative.
- WSWill Smith
Yeah. Right. Yeah.
- JSJay Shetty
They gave some... Yeah.
- WSWill Smith
Yeah, but it's like I, I, I connected to it. It's like, oh, that's right. That's what, that's what the singing and dancing-
- JSJay Shetty
[laughs]
- WSWill Smith
... and all of the joy and all of the smiling and all of that is for. It's a, it's a, just a beautiful conduit for the, the ideas. And, um, you know, that's just... That, that's just at my core. That's... I'm, I'm happiest in that space.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah. Beautiful. Well, I could talk to you for hours, and we will.
- WSWill Smith
Oh, I'm sure we will.
- JSJay Shetty
But I'm gonna let
- 1:33:18 – 1:43:46
Will Smith ON the Fast Five questions
- JSJay Shetty
you-
- WSWill Smith
[laughs]
- JSJay Shetty
I'm gonna ask you what I call the final five.
- WSWill Smith
Yeah.
- JSJay Shetty
These are one-word answers.
- WSWill Smith
One-word answers.
- JSJay Shetty
One word to-
- WSWill Smith
Okay
- JSJay Shetty
... one sentence. The Fast Five.
- WSWill Smith
Okay. Fast Five.
- JSJay Shetty
Uh, Will Smith, these are your Fast Five. The first is, what is the best advice you've ever received?
- WSWill Smith
The best advice I've ever received. Um, the first day I got on, uh, the tour bus when we were leaving for the first time, leaving Philly, me and Jeff and all our squad, and the l- the last thing my grandmother said as the door was closing, she said, uh... Uh, she called me lover boy.
- JSJay Shetty
[laughs]
- WSWill Smith
She, she said, uh, she said, "Hey, lover boy, remember, b- be nice to everybody you pass on your way up, 'cause you just might have to pass them again on your way down."
- JSJay Shetty
[laughs]
- WSWill Smith
[laughs] And I was like... And that, that, that always-
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah
- WSWill Smith
... stuck with me.
- JSJay Shetty
I love that. That's great. All right, second question. What's the worst advice you ever received?
- WSWill Smith
The worst advice. [laughs]
- JSJay Shetty
[laughs]
- WSWill Smith
My boy Charlie Mack. [laughs] Charlie Mack told me, he said, "Hey, man, listen, listen, listen. The way you make a woman love you, to make a woman love you, you, you take her out to dinner, you know, and then as you going out the place, you just knock somebody out. 'Cause a woman gotta know you could defend her."
- JSJay Shetty
[laughs]
- WSWill Smith
"You just knock somebody out. And if you knock, if you knock... I mean, it could be a stranger."
- JSJay Shetty
[laughs]
- WSWill Smith
"But you just, you just knock somebody out, and she see your strength, and that's how she'll feel confident. And it, it changes everything. It changes your sexual life. It just change everything about her. You just, but you, you gotta get them good and just knock somebody out."
- JSJay Shetty
[laughs]
- WSWill Smith
[laughs]
- JSJay Shetty
Did you try it? No.
- WSWill Smith
Yeah, no, I never, no, never tried. [laughs]
Episode duration: 1:43:46
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Transcript of episode kDYMizH73cc
