WIN THE WAR In Your Mind & Find PEACE TODAY | David Goggins & Jay Shetty

1. 0:00 – 1:01

   Surface-level fixes vs. repairing the foundation of the mind

   1. DGDavid Goggins0:00

      So I was a junior in high school and couldn't read that well, a fourth-grade reading level, 'cause I would, I would cheat on everything. And I learned how to read, I learned how to write. I taught myself all these things, all these disciplines. But whenever the first real big challenge would come, that little windstorm would push me back in the hole. And I realized, man, I'm not... I'm fixing stuff on a surface level. I'm all surface, man. I'm not going deep into the cellar of my mind and fixing the foundation of my soul. My soul is broken. And but, you know, I knew I could fix it, but I was afraid to go back. I was afraid to face the demons of my life of... You know, 'cause you start lying. You wouldn't anybody knowing this shit about you, so, so you start lying about who you're not. And you start creating a person about who you wanna be, but it's not who you are. So that's when I started realizing, man, I'm never gonna get over the hurdle. I'm always gonna live on a surface level until I go deep, deep into the sewer of my mind to figure out and face all of these different demons. That's

2. 1:01 – 1:32

   The moment he chose to go all the way back

   1. DGDavid Goggins1:01

      hard. It's hard. We all like social media. We all like everybody to see us for who we wanna be. That's why we post beautiful things about us. That's not, that's not gonna fix you. So I realized that, and that's when I started going back. So I was about, um, I was about 24 years old, and I went from 175 to almost 300 pounds. And, um, that's when I sat down on my couch and realized [laughs] we gotta go back. And it started with me going back to my father.

3. 1:32 – 3:26

   Reliving childhood trauma and isolation in a hostile environment

   1. DGDavid Goggins1:32

      So we, we left when I was eight years old. We went to a small town in Brazil, Indiana. There was about five to 10 Black families in a town of 8,000 to 10,000 people. And, um, there was a big hub of Klansmen that lived in Center Point, Indiana. And I, and I talk about that in the book. So the Klan marched in the Fourth of July parade in 1995 in Indiana. So when you come from a messed up foundation like I did in Buffalo, New York, and where my dad beat me senseless, and now I have that messed up foundation, and now I'm here being the only Black person. I call it the only in my book. Being the only Black person. My mom's working three jobs. We're living in a $7-a-month place. She's never at home. So it's not like I had some mentors coming in to help me. You know, they were trying to put me in these different group places for, like, having some shrink talk to me and these eight, nine kids. And one kid's setting his house on fire. Another kid's peeing in a trash can. Another kid had a helmet on, banging his head up against the wall. And I'm looking at this at eight years old. You know, and I, and I, and I'm gonna get back to your question that you asked me, but these are the things I had to go back and relive. You know, I'm 24 years old now, and I have to go back to all these things that no one knew about me in this group place where I'm in this place where these people are crazy, and they think I'm crazy. And I'm looking at them thinking, "I'm not crazy. You just don't know where I come from." I came from a place that truly damaged my mind, damaged my soul, and now I have to go back on my own to face this shit.

   2. JSJay Shetty3:05

      Mm.

   3. DGDavid Goggins3:06

      So, you know, at, at 24 years old, I sat there a lot of ti- it was like one day I woke up and said, "I gotta face this." This haunting fucking voice in my head kept on saying, "Man, we gotta go back." The only way we can go forward is to go all the way back, and that's very scary to do for everybody.

   4. JSJay Shetty3:26

      Yeah.

4. 3:26 – 4:38

   Root-cause healing: fixing the source, not the symptoms

   1. DGDavid Goggins3:26

      'Cause the only way you're gonna fix yourself is to go all the way back to the beginning, to your childhood, 'cause that's where everything starts.

   2. JSJay Shetty3:33

      And that's what's blocking most of us.

   3. DGDavid Goggins3:34

      All of us.

   4. JSJay Shetty3:35

      Yeah.

   5. DGDavid Goggins3:35

      All of us. Everybody thinks it's, "My God, like, my marriage is messed up. This is messed up." You have to go back to fix all your problems. It all starts from the root, man.

   6. JSJay Shetty3:44

      The root, yeah.

   7. DGDavid Goggins3:45

      The root.

   8. JSJay Shetty3:45

      Yeah, I was just about to say, we have to go back to the root because otherwise we're just dealing with the symptoms.

   9. DGDavid Goggins3:49

      That's it.

   10. JSJay Shetty3:50

       Yeah.

   11. DGDavid Goggins3:50

       Yeah, and, and, and, and you cannot fix anything by giving it Motrin. You got... You, you have a jacked up knee. The swelling may go down, but it's still jacked up in there. You gotta get it fixed. You gotta fix the knee. All those pills do, so, you know, pretty much is just let the swelling go down. And you can live a little longer, but you're not fixing the problem.

   12. JSJay Shetty4:11

       Mm.

   13. DGDavid Goggins4:12

       You're not fixing the problem.

   14. JSJay Shetty4:13

       And I guess that most people don't go back, or all of us, like you said, we don't go back because we don't know how.

   15. DGDavid Goggins4:17

       Right.

   16. JSJay Shetty4:18

       Right?

   17. DGDavid Goggins4:18

       Right.

   18. JSJay Shetty4:18

       Like, most people don't know how. Like, how do you start? How do you go back? And like you s- and I love that example, that we start thinking the issue is our marriage or our relationship right now-

   19. DGDavid Goggins4:26

       Right

   20. JSJay Shetty4:26

       ... or our job or our career. And I, I totally agree with you that we need to go back, but we don't know how.

   21. DGDavid Goggins4:31

       Right.

   22. JSJay Shetty4:31

       Now, you start talking about in the book some ways in which we can start. How?

   23. DGDavid Goggins4:36

       Right.

   24. JSJay Shetty4:37

       Can you tell us about some of those?

5. 4:38 – 6:31

   The 'accountability mirror' and owning what happened to you

   1. DGDavid Goggins4:38

      So one big thing is accountability mirror.

   2. JSJay Shetty4:40

      Mm. Yeah.

   3. DGDavid Goggins4:40

      You have to start with yourself. So what happened in, in my life was we started to get, I call it, like, the rucksack. A rucksack is a pack that you carry in the military, and you put all your stuff in it, your radios, your food, your water, all that stuff you have to carry in the military. That's your rucksack. It's the backpack pretty much. As you're growing up, we all have a backpack. Most of ours hopefully is empty, you know, and what we put in it is all the crap we go through in life. That's what is in the backpack for the civilians, and we carry it around with us. So what you have to start doing is realizing that no matter where you at in life, I got called nigger a lot. My dad abused me. You know, learning disability, stutters, immaturity, insecurities, self-doubt. So much crap on top of me. So much stuff. I lied a lot to create friends, so people that... So much stuff was in my backpack. No one's coming back to help me. So it starts with that person in that mirror. You have to realize you are on your own now. And whatever else you believe in, I don't care what you believe in, but on Earth, it's a very lonely journey. And it starts with the accountability mirror, of looking and saying, "Hey, my dad who beat the hell out of me, he's not coming back. All these things aren't coming back. I have to face myself." And you have to own all those things that people may have done to you. Now it's yours. You got to own it. It's yours now to fix the problems that people did to you. It makes no sense. It's not fair. I get it. But if you live in that woe is me mentality of guess what? My dad did this to me. My mom just did it to me. People who bullied did this to me. You're going to always live right there. You have to figure out ways to move forward because you're not coming back. It starts with the mirror. I call it the accountability mirror in the book.

6. 6:31 – 8:31

   Breaking the inner ‘callus’: painful honesty and releasing what’s trapped

   1. JSJay Shetty6:31

      Yeah, I know. I love that. I love that. I'm glad, I'm glad you brought it up. I- anyone who's watching, listening to this right now, I really want you to take this seriously because this is like what, what you're talking about, what David's talking about here is exactly why all of our suffering and pain that we're currently experiencing feels so tough and hard because unknowingly or knowingly, we are choosing to be stuck here.

   2. DGDavid Goggins6:57

      Right.

   3. JSJay Shetty6:57

      Right?

   4. DGDavid Goggins6:57

      Exactly.

   5. JSJay Shetty6:58

      Unknowingly or knowingly, whatever situation you're in, you're choosing to stay stuck because we don't want to go and unpeel and uncover.

   6. DGDavid Goggins7:05

      That's right. You don't want to break open that, that callus, that, that scar on your mind. You want to unbreak, you know, you have to break it open, let that blood flow. You have to let blood flow in your brain. You have to let all that stuff flow out. All that toxic stuff that you have trapped in there has to start flowing out now. So like you said, you, you are, you are doing this to yourself. Yes, people may have helped you get there, but that's now on you.

   7. JSJay Shetty7:30

      That's a painful truth, though.

   8. DGDavid Goggins7:32

      It's a painful truth. Painful truth. Like all those people in high school and everything else, they don't know how you're going to end up. So you got to make sure that you constantly are rewriting your book. You have to constantly rewrite your book every day of your life.

   9. JSJay Shetty7:47

      Mm-hmm.

   10. DGDavid Goggins7:47

       You know? And not, these aren't just words I say. This is how I have to live. Like, these are conversations I have with myself, and I say it everywhere I go. The most important conversation, the one you have with yourself.

   11. JSJay Shetty7:57

       Yes.

   12. DGDavid Goggins7:58

       You live with it every single day. But most of our conversations are not the right ones. They're not the ones that are gonna push us to the place we need to go. They're the ones that are gonna keep us sitting in that toxic environment that you've helped create and everybody else helped create, and you just live in it. You live in that muck, and that conversation just plays in your head. That becomes you.

   13. JSJay Shetty8:20

       Mm-hmm. Decode some of that conversation that you started with yourself. Like, how do you, how does someone listening start that conversation with themself? And, and what are the general transitions that you need to start seeing?

7. 8:31 – 11:46

   A no-softening approach: calling things what they are

   1. DGDavid Goggins8:31

      So my first conversation when I was absolutely nobody, and that's one thing you have to say. We live in a world now that's so kind. We, we find the kind way around everything. Like, if you don't look good, I have to find a kind way of saying, "I don't like your shirt."

   2. JSJay Shetty8:49

      Right.

   3. DGDavid Goggins8:49

      That's not the approach. If that's the approach you're looking for, that book is not for you.

   4. JSJay Shetty8:54

      Mm-hmm.

   5. DGDavid Goggins8:55

      Can't Hurt Me is not for you. The approach you have to take, at least I took, you take whatever approach you want. The conversation had to be a real honest conversation. In the accountability mirror, guess what? I was fat. Don't find a kind word to say that, "You know what? I've gained some weight." No, you're fat. When I couldn't read, not like, hey, you know, even learning disability. No, I cannot read. I have a fourth-grade reading level. I'm struggling, and sometimes I call myself stupid. Not in a way to put myself down. So don't take it like, "My God, those are so hurtful." Yeah, they're hurtful. It's honest. The conversation has to become an honest conversation of where you're at mentally. Where am I at mentally? I look like shit. I feel like shit. I'm not this... I'm, I'm falling behind in school. I'm lazy. My house is a mess. You have to look at what it is and call it what it is. Don't find words to make yourself feel better, 'cause that's what... So we hang around people that make us feel better, that tell us what we want to hear, not what we need to hear. And so we stay away from those people, and we stay away from those people. Like, our internal dialogue becomes that kind, it's okay. It's not okay. So that's where it starts. It starts with that accountability of it's not okay anymore. This can no longer be okay, and calling yourself out for exactly what you are and exactly how you need to fix it. That's where it starts.

   6. JSJay Shetty10:28

      I love that. I love that. I, I think that's awesome. I, I, I think you're so right that so many of our conversations with others are politically correct.

   7. DGDavid Goggins10:36

      Exactly.

   8. JSJay Shetty10:37

      Or our conversations with ourselves are politically correct, and then we continue to feed the illusion.

   9. DGDavid Goggins10:42

      That's right.

   10. JSJay Shetty10:42

       Right? We continue to feed it.

   11. DGDavid Goggins10:44

       Nothing gets solved by that, man. Nothing.

   12. JSJay Shetty10:47

       Mm-hmm.

   13. DGDavid Goggins10:47

       And if you look at America right now, and I won't get off on this, nothing is getting solved because we have, there's so much racism. There's so many, there's so many things, and that's just one of them. We can't talk about anything. We are skirting all these conversations because if I say this, I'm gonna offend a Black person or a white person or a Jewish person or, or a gay or lesbian person. We skirt around the daggone problem, so we can't fix shit. Everything is like, "Well, if I say this on TV, I'm gonna lose my damn job." We have to say it. We have to break the barriers within our minds, within the world, and it starts with yourself.

   14. JSJay Shetty11:26

       Mm-hmm.

   15. DGDavid Goggins11:27

       It starts with yourself. You gotta break the barriers down within yourself and, and it's go there. You gotta go to yourself.

   16. JSJay Shetty11:32

       Absolutely. That was the honest conversation you had then. What's an honest conversation you've been having with yourself this year? And what's... W- because like you said, and I completely agree with you, it's a constant cycle.

   17. DGDavid Goggins11:41

       Right.

   18. JSJay Shetty11:41

       It's repetition. We have to keep doing it.

   19. DGDavid Goggins11:43

       So I talk about the repetition in my book a lot.

   20. JSJay Shetty11:45

       Yeah.

8. 11:46 – 14:10

   From personal survival to communicating human potential (and the need to slow down)

   1. DGDavid Goggins11:46

      Gotta get the reps in. So now my conversation is this. I never set out to write a book. When I was in the dungeon and no one was coming back to help me, I just wanted that reflection in that accountability mirror that I hated so badly to be something that gave me pride, to be something that made me feel. It wasn't about, it's not about money. It's not about success. It's not about people, "Oh my God, that's David Goggins. Sign my book" No. When I started this journey out years ago, it was about I just wanna learn to read. So now I'm at a place now-

   2. JSJay Shetty12:19

      Wow

   3. DGDavid Goggins12:19

      ... where I see the possibilities of the human pot- of human potential. What are we capable of is the conversation now. The conversation now is how can I now talk to people in a way they can understand the message that I have for so many people, for so many people? So that's the, that's the new conversation now, is that I ... You are constantly evolving. You never stay. Either you're getting better or you're getting worse, you're not staying the same.

   4. JSJay Shetty12:47

      Mm.

   5. DGDavid Goggins12:48

      So for me, I have to constantly be getting better. I have to constantly be evolving my message. So I'm constantly thinking in the quietness of my mind. That's, that's a key point, too. The world is so fast-paced. The world is so noisy. So my conversation now a lot of times is, my God, slow down. The world can take you here, here, be here, be there, be everywhere, and I lose myself sometimes. So I catch myself in the airport, I catch myself in the plane when I'm writing stuff down, "Okay, remember this, remember that," and I'll go, "Hey, hang on a second, Goggins. What, what got you here? This isn't what got you here. Slow the fuck down. Go back to the quiet place of that dirty mirror in that $7 a month place you used to live in. That's where you grew." You ... So I ... So that's what I'm, I'm constantly reminding myself of go back to your roots. Now, I'm not saying go back to hell. But I'm saying don't forget where you come from. As you start to explode out of the gate when you become someone, my conversation is do not forget your roots. Do not forget your roots. Don't let this become so big that you lose yourself amongst the noise. Go back to the quietness of what made you successful. That's the conversation now. It's a constant reminder of that.

9. 14:10 – 15:40

   Jay’s ‘seed vs. weed’ intention check

   1. JSJay Shetty14:10

      I love that, man. That's the mantra. Do not forget your roots. Repeat that. Repeat that again and again. And I have a meditation that I developed for myself to, to do that for me that I wanna share with everyone because it, it aligns so closely in, in what you're sharing. So every morning I sit and I look at my intentions to do anything. So whether there's a new deal on the table, or there's a speaking gig that I've been invited to do, or whatever it may be. And in your life it can be anything. Whether you're starting a new business, you're writing a book. It may even just be an Instagram post for whatever it is. And I look at whatever my options are, and I ask myself which ones of these is a seed, and which ones of these is a weed.

   2. DGDavid Goggins14:51

      Right.

   3. JSJay Shetty14:51

      Because the incredible thing in our garden is that weeds end up looking like seeds and can confuse you.

   4. DGDavid Goggins14:57

      100%.

   5. JSJay Shetty14:57

      So, so often that thing that's giving you ego, and pride, and fame, and control, and power looks like it's amazing-

   6. DGDavid Goggins15:05

      Right

   7. JSJay Shetty15:05

      ... but actually it's just strangling you.

   8. DGDavid Goggins15:07

      100%.

   9. JSJay Shetty15:08

      So, so every day what I'll do is I'll look at the garden of my life and I will try and un-weed my garden. So I'll look at everything and be like, "Why am I doing that?" And I'll ask myself, "Why am I doing that?" If the answer is not love, compassion, empathy, growth-

   10. DGDavid Goggins15:21

       Right

   11. JSJay Shetty15:21

       ... personal push, sacrifice, service. If the answer is the opposite, greed, money, power, fame, if those are my reasons-

   12. DGDavid Goggins15:28

       Right

   13. JSJay Shetty15:28

       ... then I have to take that weed out.

   14. DGDavid Goggins15:30

       100%.

   15. JSJay Shetty15:30

       I have to pull it out because if I don't pull it out, that weed's gonna keep growing.

   16. DGDavid Goggins15:34

       Right.

   17. JSJay Shetty15:34

       And one day it's gonna be so big-

   18. DGDavid Goggins15:36

       Right

   19. JSJay Shetty15:36

       ... that I wouldn't have even ever seen it.

   20. DGDavid Goggins15:38

       Exactly.

   21. JSJay Shetty15:39

       And so I'm with you, man.

10. 15:40 – 18:41

    Authenticity in helping others: living the message, not selling it

    1. DGDavid Goggins15:40

       And that's why when I walked in here, the first thing I do is I, is I wanna know the person because there's so many people right now doing exactly what we're doing. What turns me off so badly is I see so many people out there trying to f- motivate people, inspire people, help people find what's gonna drive you. I see all this shit. It's all fucking a bunch of shit. And I walk in, I see it everywhere. Everybody's got this going. Everybody's got a new podcast, this, about I'm gonna help you find yourself. They're not living it. They're not living it, which is why I look at people and I'm like, "What are you about? Are you, are, are you actually doing what you say you're doing?" Which is why when I heard some of your story, I realized that you have substance to what you're saying, which is why now I can speak to you. A lot of times I go on these podcasts and I don't even wanna fucking be there. You know? 'Cause I start realizing this person is just talking. He's not living. And we share this with people, and we expect them to change. They can see right through you. They can see you're not doing this. So that's one thing about it. Don't do everything in your life for money. Don't do everything ... Yes, we need it to survive. There's a great drive and passion behind doing things for the mind and the soul. There's a great drive in that. Everybody goes, "Man, you, you talk with such passion." This is a life. This is my life. So that's, so that's what I want people to get from all this stuff, man. Like, there's something inside you. The, the brain is the most powerful thing. The mind's the most powerful thing that we have. It's not your phone. It's not the computer. It's not anything. It's your mind. And if you can tap into that, you can come from the, from the daggone roots of hell and become such a great seed, a powerful seed that can grow into some great daggone garden. And people don't get that. It's all up here. The power and the magic's up here.

    2. JSJay Shetty17:39

       Yeah. No, I really appreciate that, man, and, and thank you for saying that because for me too, that was, you know, my desire, what I was sharing with you earlier, is changing people's relationship with perception.

    3. DGDavid Goggins17:50

       Right.

    4. JSJay Shetty17:51

       And when I started ... I'll, I'll be completely honest. When I started making videos or any of this, and I've been talking about these things and studying them for the past 13 years. And when I started making videos, which was only two years ago- I had no idea that anyone would care.

    5. DGDavid Goggins18:03

       Right.

    6. JSJay Shetty18:03

       I made it because I wanted to share what I'd learned.

    7. DGDavid Goggins18:06

       Right.

    8. JSJay Shetty18:06

       And I put it up, and I genuinely thought my life was gonna be, I was gonna go to my 9:00 to 5:00 job, my 9:00 to 9:00 job. I used to work 12 hours a day in the corporate world. And I thought, "That's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna make videos on the weekends-

    9. DGDavid Goggins18:15

       Right

    10. JSJay Shetty18:16

        ... and hopefully they'll help someone."

    11. DGDavid Goggins18:17

        Exactly.

    12. JSJay Shetty18:17

        Like, there was never a desire to, for this to be anything more than-

    13. DGDavid Goggins18:21

        That's right

    14. JSJay Shetty18:21

        ... a service.

    15. DGDavid Goggins18:22

        Right.

    16. JSJay Shetty18:23

        And so when you, when I hear you say that, and, and also just about how much we perceive each other, and I mean, how we perceive other people, et cetera.

    17. DGDavid Goggins18:30

        Right.

    18. JSJay Shetty18:30

        It's, it's so important for all of us to give each other the benefit of the doubt-

    19. DGDavid Goggins18:33

        That's right

    20. JSJay Shetty18:34

        ... and hear from each other-

    21. DGDavid Goggins18:35

        Right

    22. JSJay Shetty18:36

        ... to connect.

    23. DGDavid Goggins18:37

        Exactly.

    24. JSJay Shetty18:37

        To see. Like I, I said that to you earlier, I already knew I was gonna like you.

    25. DGDavid Goggins18:40

        Right.

    26. JSJay Shetty18:40

        I was hoping you were gonna like me. [laughs]

11. 18:41 – 19:37

    Judging people directly and allowing growth over time

    1. DGDavid Goggins18:41

       I didn't know that about you. See, no, I, uh, I, I make sure I... And that's something that, that's, that's very powerful. A lot of times we hear about someone else through the grapevine.

    2. JSJay Shetty18:52

       Mm-hmm.

    3. DGDavid Goggins18:53

       And they all... And then I won't like you because I heard from somebody else that they don't like you. Always do your own judging. Always meet the person. Look at the person in the eyes before you say you don't like that person. Listen to their story. Listen to who they are. Listen to where they come from, how they lived. Get your own opinion about people. It's very huge. A lot of people didn't like me coming up 'cause they, they, they see this hardness, this crust. Break away at the crust and see what's inside that person.

    4. JSJay Shetty19:20

       Absolutely, man. Don't judge a tweet.

    5. DGDavid Goggins19:21

       No.

    6. JSJay Shetty19:21

       Don't judge one post.

    7. DGDavid Goggins19:22

       No.

    8. JSJay Shetty19:23

       Don't judge one message.

    9. DGDavid Goggins19:25

       And don't judge somebody from 30 freaking years ago.

    10. JSJay Shetty19:28

        Mm-hmm.

    11. DGDavid Goggins19:28

        Or I say 30 fucking years ago.

    12. JSJay Shetty19:30

        Mm-hmm.

    13. DGDavid Goggins19:30

        You know? There's so much stuff going on right now in the world. People are trying to evolve. Let them evolve.

    14. JSJay Shetty19:37

        Yes.

12. 19:37 – 21:00

    Why people sabotage others’ progress—and the mirror it holds up

    1. DGDavid Goggins19:37

       Let them evolve. Don't bring them back into the... Don't bring them back where they came from.

    2. JSJay Shetty19:42

       Yes.

    3. DGDavid Goggins19:43

       Don't, don't bring... If someone wants to get better, don't bring them back to where you knew them when they were a piece of shit.

    4. JSJay Shetty19:50

       Mm-hmm.

    5. DGDavid Goggins19:50

       Let them fly. And if you feel like hell because they went away and they escaped the hell that you all once lived in, fix yourself. Fix yourself. Don't hold them accountable 'cause they got away. Don't, don't constantly remind them that they were once here. Fix yourself. 'Cause a lot of people feel like crap once people start to leave their little nest. Like, like if you're an alcoholic, and this guy said, "I'm, I'm gonna stop drinking," you wanna bring him right back in. No. Look at yourself in the mirror and say, "Wow, this guy's doing better." Take that feeling of feeling like shit and do something about it. Change your own life.

    6. JSJay Shetty20:28

       Absolutely. Well said, man. Well said. Do you think we, do you think we do that subconsciously? We don't wanna see other people grow and fly because we're not growing and flying?

    7. DGDavid Goggins20:36

       That's 100%. It makes us feel like shit. It's a constant reminder of we- where we're at in life.

    8. JSJay Shetty20:43

       If you want even more videos just like this one, make sure you subscribe and click on the boxes over here. I'm also excited to let you know that you can now get my book, Think Like a Monk, from thinklikeamonkbook.com. Check below in the description to make sure you order today.

Episode duration: 21:00