Joe Rogan Experience #1063 - Tom Segura

1. 0:00 – 4:34

   Ari finally pays the bet: National Championship trip logistics and chaos

   1. TSTom Segura0:00

      ... this talk?

   2. JRJoe Rogan0:01

      (makes sound) We're good?

   3. NANarrator0:05

      Yeah.

   4. JRJoe Rogan0:05

      All right. We're live, sort of.

   5. TSTom Segura0:07

      Sort of live.

   6. JRJoe Rogan0:08

      Hold on. We're, we're rolling. We're rolling.

   7. TSTom Segura0:09

      We're roll- we're rolling.

   8. JRJoe Rogan0:10

      We're rolling, dog.

   9. TSTom Segura0:11

      (clears throat)

   10. JRJoe Rogan0:12

       So, uh, so we were talking about the game.

   11. TSTom Segura0:15

       Yeah.

   12. JRJoe Rogan0:15

       We stopped-

   13. TSTom Segura0:16

       (clears throat)

   14. JRJoe Rogan0:17

       ... because, uh, we figured this would probably be good for the podcast.

   15. TSTom Segura0:19

       Right.

   16. JRJoe Rogan0:19

       So Ari finally paid off the bet. Finally.

   17. TSTom Segura0:21

       Ari paid it off in a big way, man.

   18. JRJoe Rogan0:22

       Big way.

   19. TSTom Segura0:23

       In a big way. Um, (smacks lips) so if you remember, I- when, when we were doing the weight loss challenge, (smacks lips) it was like, "Whoever wins, decides-

   20. JRJoe Rogan0:32

       Yeah.

   21. TSTom Segura0:32

       ... the sporting event." It- we're all sports fans basically, you know? And, (smacks lips) and I said at the time, I was like, "Let's go see Barcelona." I think I wanted to see Barcelona play Paris in the, you know, some tournament cup, some channel- uh, uh, tournament that they were playing in. And I was like, you know, "Two of the premier teams," and it would be fun to go to Europe and make Ari pay for it, you know?

   22. JRJoe Rogan0:53

       Yeah.

   23. TSTom Segura0:53

       So, so I told him that, and he was like, "I'm going to like," (deepens voice) "fucking, uh, Malaysia," and then he just left.

   24. JRJoe Rogan0:58

       (laughs)

   25. TSTom Segura0:59

       So (laughs) never heard from him again, and then four months later... You, you know how it all, it all played out, and so when he got back, he was getting fucking slammed by people because he was supposed to pay up this bet, you know?

   26. JRJoe Rogan1:11

       Right.

   27. TSTom Segura1:11

       And people were destroying him. H- you know that, I mean, online. They were just like, "Welch, you're a piece of shit."

   28. JRJoe Rogan1:16

       (laughs)

   29. TSTom Segura1:16

       Probably worse than that. (laughs)

   30. JRJoe Rogan1:18

       (laughs)
2. 4:34 – 6:07

   Bert Kreischer in crowds: fame, antics, and ‘party guy’ energy

   1. TSTom Segura4:34

      But (Joe laughs) like we just weren't gonna wait in that line. And then Bert, of course, Bert in a crowd like that, he's like, "It's okay. I'm famous. We're famous guys." Like yelling that to people, which is like, like-

   2. JRJoe Rogan4:44

      No, he didn't.

   3. TSTom Segura4:45

      Oh, absolutely. He's like, he's like we're... Everywhere we went, if we went to a restaurant, they would come up and be like, "Hey, can I get you guys something to drink?" And he'd be like, "Do you recognize us?" (laughs) And we were like, they were like, "What?"

   4. JRJoe Rogan4:55

      Was he serious?

   5. TSTom Segura4:56

      I mean, (laughs) I think it's part of his like, you know, whatever, style. And then, and they were like, "I'm sorry?"

   6. JRJoe Rogan5:03

      So part of a joke or part of-

   7. TSTom Segura5:05

      Yeah.

   8. JRJoe Rogan5:05

      ... like kind of a joke, but not 100%?

   9. TSTom Segura5:06

      I, I think he's joking, but not 100%. He's like halfway in the middle because-

   10. JRJoe Rogan5:09

       This is- (laughs)

   11. TSTom Segura5:09

       ... one time, one time he was like, "We're famous comedians." And the lady was like, "Oh, I know who you are." And he was like, " (gasps) Isn't that awesome being famous, guys?" (laughs) Like, "Shut up, dude."

   12. JRJoe Rogan5:18

       And he was serious?

   13. TSTom Segura5:19

       I mean, he's like half serious.

   14. JRJoe Rogan5:21

       Oh, that's so weird.

   15. TSTom Segura5:21

       He's like weird. But it's like you see him in his element. It's like him in- with crowds is really, like you realize he really enjoys it. Like he really enjoys the large groups. He enjoys being recognized. He fucking... Like sometimes we were walking, and people were like, "Hey, you're the guy... I've seen you on Facebook." He's like, "Do you want a picture?" (laughs)

   16. JRJoe Rogan5:44

       (laughs)

   17. TSTom Segura5:46

       (laughs) And they were like, "Okay." (laughs)

   18. JRJoe Rogan5:49

       Jesus Christ, Bert.

   19. TSTom Segura5:51

       Yeah, yeah, he loves it. He loves it.

   20. JRJoe Rogan5:53

       Oh.

   21. TSTom Segura5:53

       And then we were talking about how like people would say like, "Tom," and I'm like, "Yeah." And they're like, "Hey," and then they would walk away. (laughs) They wouldn't come over to me. They were like, "Hi," and then they'd walk another way. But with Bert, they're like, "Can I hug you?" (laughs)

   22. JRJoe Rogan6:05

       They take their shirt off. They sit together.

3. 6:07 – 7:39

   Luxury seats and ‘ballin’ culture: $3,500 tickets and what rich people buy

   1. TSTom Segura6:07

      Oh, yeah. They love, they love it. And he's like in his glory with it. It's perfect.So, anyways, we get through this horrific line, into this unbelievable $1.6 billion stadium that they built in Atlanta. I mean, it l- it, uh, it's fucking amazing. It's such a beautiful just standalone stadium, you know? It's so state-of-the-art, it's incredible. We get in there. Ari got us 50-yard lines, so right in the middle, like 20 rows back. I'm like, "These are fucking amazing." Like, you couldn't ask for better seats. It has, like, some club access for, like, free booze.

   2. JRJoe Rogan6:43

      Mm.

   3. TSTom Segura6:44

      Free food.

   4. JRJoe Rogan6:44

      Mm, mm.

   5. TSTom Segura6:45

      Catered food, prime rib.

   6. JRJoe Rogan6:47

      Oh.

   7. TSTom Segura6:47

      I'm like, "Jesus." I'm like, "How much did you pay for these tickets?" And he's like, "I don't know." I go, "Yeah, I wanna know."

   8. JRJoe Rogan6:53

      (laughs)

   9. TSTom Segura6:54

      $3500 each.

   10. JRJoe Rogan6:56

       Whoa.

   11. TSTom Segura6:57

       I was like, "Ari, are you fucking shitting me?" He's like, "Had to do it, had to do it. Oh, yeah, had to do it, yeah."

   12. JRJoe Rogan7:03

       Bwah! (laughs)

   13. TSTom Segura7:04

       But he fucking spent over 10 grand-

   14. JRJoe Rogan7:06

       (coughs)

   15. TSTom Segura7:06

       ... on tickets for us, man.

   16. JRJoe Rogan7:07

       Wow.

   17. TSTom Segura7:08

       Yeah. It-

   18. JRJoe Rogan7:09

       Wow.

   19. TSTom Segura7:10

       ... unreal, man.

   20. JRJoe Rogan7:11

       That's amazing.

   21. TSTom Segura7:12

       I mean, those are, those are great seats, dude. Like, those are absolutely amazing seats for the game.

   22. JRJoe Rogan7:17

       You know when the Mc- McGregor, uh, Mayweather fight was going on?

   23. TSTom Segura7:20

       Yeah.

   24. JRJoe Rogan7:21

       I was hearing that people were buying tickets for a quarter million dollars.

   25. TSTom Segura7:24

       That's fucking retarded. That's so dumb- (laughs)

   26. JRJoe Rogan7:27

       (laughs)

   27. TSTom Segura7:27

       ... to pay that much money for anything.

   28. JRJoe Rogan7:28

       You say that, right?

   29. TSTom Segura7:29

       Yeah.

   30. JRJoe Rogan7:29

       But you're balling pretty hard right now.
4. 7:39 – 13:05

   Jeff Bezos and billionaire psychology: collecting wealth, power, and media

   1. JRJoe Rogan7:39

      So, we were talking about Jeff Bezos before the show, who's now the richest man in human history.

   2. TSTom Segura7:44

      It's like, it's inconceivable amount of money.

   3. JRJoe Rogan7:46

      Yeah. He's worth $105 billion, right?

   4. TSTom Segura7:49

      Yeah.

   5. JRJoe Rogan7:49

      Which is just like, what the fuck?

   6. TSTom Segura7:51

      He's like the eighth biggest landowner in the United States. Did you know that? He just buys-

   7. JRJoe Rogan7:55

      No. It's crazy.

   8. TSTom Segura7:56

      Yeah.

   9. JRJoe Rogan7:56

      I'm, I'm not stunned though. I mean-

   10. TSTom Segura7:57

       Of course not. He owns-

   11. JRJoe Rogan7:58

       She has-

   12. TSTom Segura7:58

       ... 300,000 acres of Texas.

   13. JRJoe Rogan8:01

       Whoa, that's a lot.

   14. TSTom Segura8:02

       That's a lot, yeah.

   15. JRJoe Rogan8:03

       That's a big slab.

   16. TSTom Segura8:05

       Yeah. I'm pretty sure-

   17. JRJoe Rogan8:06

       He's just balling, he's just balling outta control.

   18. TSTom Segura8:07

       I'm p- I'm pretty sure his DC home was either a, uh, I feel like it was either a museum or a hotel before and he was like, "Make that shit my house now."

   19. JRJoe Rogan8:14

       (laughs) What?

   20. TSTom Segura8:14

       Like, it was, like, a museum.

   21. JRJoe Rogan8:16

       (laughs)

   22. TSTom Segura8:16

       And they're like, "It's your house."

   23. JRJoe Rogan8:18

       I wonder what he's like to hang out with, 'cause there's a photo of him. See if you could find this photo, Jamie. There's a photo of Jeff Bezos from 1993, and he's got, like, a vinyl banner-

   24. TSTom Segura8:28

       Yeah.

   25. JRJoe Rogan8:29

       ... (coughs) above his desk that says amazon.com.

   26. TSTom Segura8:31

       Uh-huh.

   27. JRJoe Rogan8:32

       And it's just him in this janky little fucking IKEA desk.

   28. TSTom Segura8:36

       Yeah. Like, bad clothing.

   29. JRJoe Rogan8:38

       Like, typing, yeah.

   30. TSTom Segura8:38

       Yeah, it's like-
5. 13:05 – 19:04

   Gates’ high-tech mansion myths and the ‘Giving Pledge’ dilemma for kids

   1. JRJoe Rogan13:05

      (laughs)

   2. TSTom Segura13:05

      ... "What kinda shit do you have?" And, you know, he has, like, this Xanadu house. It's, like, 70,000 square feet or something.

   3. JRJoe Rogan13:11

      Well, he's got a house, I think it's on Puget Sound. Um, it's somewhere in the Seattle area, but-

   4. TSTom Segura13:17

      Yeah, I think it's Medina. Medina or Medina?

   5. JRJoe Rogan13:20

      S- is that what it is?

   6. TSTom Segura13:21

      I think that's what it's called.

   7. JRJoe Rogan13:21

      But it's so freaky. Look at that. Looks like you're using an ad- an ad blocker. What have you pulled up? What'd you pull up?

   8. NANarrator13:27

      19 crazy facts about his house.

   9. JRJoe Rogan13:29

      Oh, okay.

   10. NANarrator13:29

       $123 million.

   11. TSTom Segura13:31

       (laughs)

   12. JRJoe Rogan13:31

       Disable your ad blocker so we can read it.

   13. NANarrator13:33

       Yeah, yeah, yeah.

   14. JRJoe Rogan13:34

       Oh, God. (laughs) So we, um, we were in Seattle, and there's this, uh, thing that's near a bridge, um, where you, you go under this bridge, and they have this, uh, these clear walls where you can see the salmon swimming up the salmon ladders.

   15. TSTom Segura13:49

       Mm-hmm.

   16. JRJoe Rogan13:50

       Like, they have everything set up with these clear, like, glass walls so you can watch from a... It's really pretty badass.

   17. TSTom Segura13:55

       Yeah.

   18. JRJoe Rogan13:55

       But the guy who was there, who was the, uh, you know, the guide of this thing who was explaining to us, you know, how this works and which kinda salmon you're looking at and the whole deal, he was like, "You know, my uncle worked on the Bill Gates house," and starts talking about Bill Gates' house, where Bill Gates house is-

   19. TSTom Segura14:10

       Mm-hmm.

   20. JRJoe Rogan14:10

       ... and where he lives. And I, I remember thinking, like, how weird must it be if you're so rich that all everybody wants to do is talk about, like, "Hey, my friend worked on your, his house."

   21. TSTom Segura14:19

       Yes. Yeah.

   22. JRJoe Rogan14:20

       "Just his, his house" And I was like, "Well, what's it like?" And he just, uh, starts describing. He goes, "Well, he has, like, some sort of a submarine access in case he's getting kidnapped. Like, if someone's trying to jack him, they can get in a submarine and shoot out into the river." I'm like, "What?"

   23. TSTom Segura14:34

       Yeah.

   24. JRJoe Rogan14:34

       Like, I don't know even how much of that is even true, 'cause this guy seemed like-

   25. TSTom Segura14:37

       Yeah.

   26. JRJoe Rogan14:38

       ... he was missing a little piece of his brain.

   27. TSTom Segura14:40

       Yeah. (laughs)

   28. JRJoe Rogan14:41

       (laughs)

   29. TSTom Segura14:41

       Start really adding stuff to that, yeah.

   30. JRJoe Rogan14:43

       Yeah, that's what I was thinking. I was like, "How much of this is urban myth?"
6. 19:04 – 23:24

   Fear of failure, discipline, and self-sabotage in comedy (and life)

   1. JRJoe Rogan19:04

      Well, it's like, it's so hard to actually do something if you don't have to.

   2. TSTom Segura19:09

      Mm-hmm.

   3. JRJoe Rogan19:10

      It's so hard to ac- To make something happen in your life, right? To start a business, to enter into a career, to become successful at it, to, to really focus and try to get good to the point where you're successful at something, you have to have a fire inside of you. You have to have a need to achieve.

   4. TSTom Segura19:27

      Yeah.

   5. JRJoe Rogan19:28

      And if you already have a Ferrari-

   6. TSTom Segura19:30

      (laughs)

   7. JRJoe Rogan19:30

      ... and you're already living in a mansion-

   8. TSTom Segura19:31

      Yeah.

   9. JRJoe Rogan19:31

      ... you already have $10 million in the bank, you already have all your bills paid, you don't have to get up in the morning if you don't want to, you can-

   10. TSTom Segura19:39

       Yeah.

   11. JRJoe Rogan19:40

       The idea of just becoming this disciplined machine that's out there to try to kick ass in this life and be self-actualized, so hard, so hard to pull off.

   12. TSTom Segura19:50

       You can't ... I- You gotta, like, dial back too on the spoiling, I think. I went to high school with the grandson of a billionaire and they, they were very present in, like, the area. You know? And, uh, you know, they drove, like, used cars. The, the grandkids, I'm saying. And had ... Obviously they could've gotten way more, but it was, like, instilling this, "You're not just gonna coast through everything."

   13. JRJoe Rogan20:17

       Mm.

   14. TSTom Segura20:17

       And they got jobs and, uh, as far as I, like, I know about now, what he's doing now is, like, he's working, you know? He's, he's really working even though he's gonna inherit, like, just crazy amounts of money.

   15. JRJoe Rogan20:28

       Right.

   16. TSTom Segura20:29

       You know? But, I mean, part of it too is (sniffs) just the nature of that person. I think you can try to not go crazy with, um, you know, taking care ... gifts and all that stuff. But some of that drive has to come from within, no matter what your socioeconomic level is.

   17. JRJoe Rogan20:45

       Yeah. I would imagine some of it ... I think there's people that are ... that grow up rich that it doesn't matter.

   18. TSTom Segura20:51

       Doesn't matter.

   19. JRJoe Rogan20:51

       They're, they're just ... They're gonna succeed.

   20. TSTom Segura20:53

       Yeah.

   21. JRJoe Rogan20:53

       They love it. They like succeeding. They like working hard. They like getting things done.

   22. TSTom Segura20:58

       Yeah.

   23. JRJoe Rogan20:58

       But then there's ... Like, what causes a kid to be a lazy fuck? You know, like, you come home, the kid's on the couch just with their feet up and they don't-

   24. TSTom Segura21:06

       Yeah.

   25. JRJoe Rogan21:07

       ... "Did you do what I asked you to do?" "I was gonna-"

   26. TSTom Segura21:10

       Yeah.

   27. JRJoe Rogan21:10

       "... but something happened. Mike called and fucking-"

   28. TSTom Segura21:13

       I know people like that, man.

   29. JRJoe Rogan21:14

       "... scared some gas." Yeah.

   30. TSTom Segura21:15

       I think there's something wrong with just ... I mean, I know people like that who you wanna shake.
7. 23:24 – 35:19

   The ‘development deal’ era: easy money, delusion, and Joe’s Disney deal

   1. JRJoe Rogan23:24

      You know what's almost as weird? Do you remember the development deal years? Were you around during the development deal years?

   2. TSTom Segura23:29

      I was at the-

   3. JRJoe Rogan23:30

      Did you-

   4. TSTom Segura23:30

      ... tail end. I was at the ... where they were, like, they were like, "Ah, two years ago you would've made $600,000 for that set."

   5. JRJoe Rogan23:35

      (laughs)

   6. TSTom Segura23:35

      And you're like, "Jesus Christ." Yeah.

   7. JRJoe Rogan23:37

      I was there for the development deal years, but I kind of was working during most of it.

   8. TSTom Segura23:44

      Mm-hmm.

   9. JRJoe Rogan23:44

      Because during most of it I was doing news radio.

   10. TSTom Segura23:46

       Right.

   11. JRJoe Rogan23:46

       When it got really hot, I was doing news, news radio. And I remember that there were comics that would go to Montreal. They would do the comedy festival. They would have these sets, and they would come back and they had half million dollar deals.

   12. TSTom Segura24:00

       Crazy.

   13. JRJoe Rogan24:00

       And they were, they were sitcoms and they were convinced that it was all fucking happening for them.

   14. TSTom Segura24:05

       Yeah.

   15. JRJoe Rogan24:06

       And I, I remember I had quite ... More than one conversation with one of these people that were trying to put me on their show. Comics that have never worked since. Like, you do-

   16. TSTom Segura24:15

       And they're like-

   17. JRJoe Rogan24:15

       ... you do not hear from them. You don't-

   18. TSTom Segura24:16

       "You should all do my show."

   19. JRJoe Rogan24:17

       Yeah, yeah. Bro, (clears throat) my show's guaranteed-... is what's gonna happen. It's guaranteed go to air. If it doesn't go to air, there's a million-dollar backup deal. Like, they had all this stuff-

   20. TSTom Segura24:25

       Yeah.

   21. JRJoe Rogan24:25

       ... that they were telling you about. Like, they went the opposite way. Instead of, like, being, like, terrified of the future to the point where they were just, like, letting themselves-

   22. TSTom Segura24:33

       Super confident.

   23. JRJoe Rogan24:33

       ... off the hook, they were super confident in this weird, delusional, "It's definitely happening for me" thing.

   24. TSTom Segura24:40

       That's odd, man. Yeah. It's odd to subscribe. I ... See, that would always scare me, 'cause I'm more ... My, my just, uh, more life perspective is like, you don't, you don't react until, like, the check clears.

   25. JRJoe Rogan24:53

       Yeah, right?

   26. TSTom Segura24:53

       You know, and every s- ... Yeah.

   27. JRJoe Rogan24:54

       Yeah.

   28. TSTom Segura24:54

       I don't go, like-

   29. JRJoe Rogan24:55

       Yeah.

   30. TSTom Segura24:55

       ... "This definitely happened." No, it's always like, wait and see.
8. 35:19 – 47:20

   Training, Sober October fallout, and the phone-free challenge idea

   1. JRJoe Rogan35:19

      Ari got fat for a while.

   2. TSTom Segura35:21

      Did he?

   3. JRJoe Rogan35:21

      Yeah, yeah. Ari got into a serious, uh, candy, uh, addiction.

   4. TSTom Segura35:25

      Oh.

   5. JRJoe Rogan35:26

      Quite- quite a bit.

   6. TSTom Segura35:26

      Mm.

   7. JRJoe Rogan35:27

      Which is fucking terrible for you. That sugar fat, just getting fat from nothing but sugar.

   8. TSTom Segura35:33

      Yeah.

   9. JRJoe Rogan35:33

      But he just decided to-

   10. TSTom Segura35:34

       Cut it out.

   11. JRJoe Rogan35:35

       ... lose the weight.

   12. TSTom Segura35:35

       Yeah.

   13. JRJoe Rogan35:36

       Yeah.

   14. TSTom Segura35:36

       He looked good, he looked good.

   15. JRJoe Rogan35:37

       That was a long time ago though. But the way he did it was pretty interesting. Just said, "Eh, I don't wanna be fat anymore."

   16. TSTom Segura35:42

       That's a good way to do it.

   17. JRJoe Rogan35:43

       Didn't join Weight Watchers, didn't do anything.

   18. TSTom Segura35:46

       He has a body that responds to that pretty well too, though, you know? Like, I feel like there's different ... There's definitely different body types, and he's the kind that could probably make a slight adjustment and see things sway.

   19. JRJoe Rogan35:57

       Well, I guarantee you with Bert it's booze. With ... If- if Bert just cut off the booze-

   20. TSTom Segura36:02

       (laughs)

   21. JRJoe Rogan36:02

       ... I mean, he would lose a massive amount of weight.

   22. TSTom Segura36:05

       (laughs) He s- he goes so hard.

   23. JRJoe Rogan36:07

       He goes so hard.

   24. TSTom Segura36:07

       (laughs)

   25. JRJoe Rogan36:07

       It's cr- it's bizarre. (sniffs)

   26. TSTom Segura36:09

       Yeah. No, he goes hard, man.

   27. JRJoe Rogan36:11

       To- to the point where ... I was really stunned that he made it through Sober October. I was stunned.

   28. TSTom Segura36:17

       I think he really responds to challenges. He likes-

   29. JRJoe Rogan36:19

       Yeah.

   30. TSTom Segura36:19

       He likes- he likes the challenge. He likes ... 'Cause he- he- you know, we always joke how he speaks in hyperbole and he's always just like-
9. 47:20 – 51:11

   Writing discipline and post-special panic: ‘Disgraceful’ drops tomorrow

   1. JRJoe Rogan47:20

      Yeah. Yeah, if you just make yourself do it or you have- like for me, I have to have a l- well, I don't have to, but one thing that does help is when I have a schedule of shit that I wrote down. Like, I have to work on my act for an hour a day for five days. Like, I have to.

   2. TSTom Segura47:36

      You put that in there. Yeah.

   3. JRJoe Rogan47:38

      Yeah, like that's- I give my- I- I- and I think that's really reasonable. I give myself five hours of writing a week.

   4. TSTom Segura47:45

      That's totally reasonable.

   5. JRJoe Rogan47:46

      I have to. It's light, it's light work.

   6. TSTom Segura47:48

      I've been working on it more since I know my special- my special comes out tomorrow.

   7. JRJoe Rogan47:52

      Oh shit, Tommy Buns.

   8. TSTom Segura47:53

      Oh shit.

   9. JRJoe Rogan47:53

      Netflix special number three in the pipe, bitch.

   10. TSTom Segura47:56

       Yeah, dog.

   11. JRJoe Rogan47:57

       Woo!

   12. TSTom Segura47:58

       Yeah, I'm excited.

   13. JRJoe Rogan47:59

       Hot and fresh, coming out the oven.

   14. TSTom Segura48:01

       I'm excited for it, but I also- I have that- that, uh-

   15. JRJoe Rogan48:04

       Terror.

   16. TSTom Segura48:05

       ... new special anxiety.

   17. JRJoe Rogan48:06

       Of course.

   18. TSTom Segura48:06

       You know, where you're like, "Oh, it's back to square one." Um-

   19. JRJoe Rogan48:09

       But that's where the material comes from, right?

   20. TSTom Segura48:11

       Totally. Yeah, of course.

   21. JRJoe Rogan48:12

       Comes from that fear.

   22. TSTom Segura48:12

       And I actually- I personally, I don't know if everyone works this way, I definitely work better when it's, uh- when it's 100% out. In other words, not like the month two- like you know it's coming out in two months. When it's actually out, I feel the fear and the drive more.

   23. JRJoe Rogan48:31

       Yeah.

   24. TSTom Segura48:32

       I create more-

   25. JRJoe Rogan48:33

       Yeah.

   26. TSTom Segura48:33

       ... when I- when I know it's all- it's gone now.

   27. JRJoe Rogan48:36

       Yeah.

   28. TSTom Segura48:37

       I- it really fuels me.

   29. JRJoe Rogan48:38

       Me too.

   30. TSTom Segura48:39

       Yeah.
10. 51:11 – 1:04:17

    Why redoing old bits fails: silent rooms, private gigs, and comedy memory

    1. TSTom Segura51:11

       Yeah. No. Especially people paying, you know? They ... It's, it is weird in that you will ... I ran into it a bunch of times, but it's definitely the minority, which is the person who's like, "Why didn't you do that one bit?"

    2. JRJoe Rogan51:25

       Right.

    3. TSTom Segura51:25

       And you're like, "Because it's y- 'cause you know it."

    4. JRJoe Rogan51:27

       Go watch that on Netflix.

    5. TSTom Segura51:28

       Yeah.

    6. JRJoe Rogan51:28

       Yeah.

    7. TSTom Segura51:29

       I had, I think I, I don't know if I told you, but I, I did one, people were asking me to do some bits, uh, when I was touring. I think it was not 2017, but 2016. They were like, "Do ... Are you gonna do this bit and that bit?" So I was just doing one show at a club and I was like, "I'm gonna try this, this thing out, this encore thing." So I did my, I did my new show, and then I said, uh, "Some people asked me to do some bits that you know," or whatever. I forgot how I got into it.

    8. JRJoe Rogan51:58

       Right, right.

    9. TSTom Segura51:58

       So, and I got this huge round of applause. And then I would be, I would start it, and there would be like a big, big applause. I would go through the bit to complete silence. Like, they would just watch me do the bit they know. And then when I would end it, another round of applause. I was like, "That was horrible."

    10. JRJoe Rogan52:16

        (laughs)

    11. TSTom Segura52:16

        Like, that was the worst feeling ever. And the reason, 'cause there was no laugh, 'cause there was no surprise. Like, they were like-

    12. JRJoe Rogan52:22

        Right, they knew it.

    13. TSTom Segura52:22

        Yeah, of course, they knew the whole thing.

    14. JRJoe Rogan52:24

        Yeah.

    15. TSTom Segura52:24

        And I did, like, the, the next bit, and I was like, "You might, you know, whatever, know this one." And it was the same thing. They're like-

    16. JRJoe Rogan52:29

        (laughs)

    17. TSTom Segura52:29

        ... "Oh, yeah, we do know this one." And then I go through it, and they were like, "Yeah, I know." (laughs)

    18. JRJoe Rogan52:33

        Oh, that's the worst.

    19. TSTom Segura52:35

        That was horrible. That was my one attempt at doing that, you know?

    20. JRJoe Rogan52:39

        Ugh. Yeah. I don't even know how to do them.

    21. TSTom Segura52:41

        Yeah, no, it was ... And, and then, uh, people were like, I was like, "I forget the next line." They were like, "It's this." Like, people knew, knew the bit better than I did.

    22. JRJoe Rogan52:48

        Yeah, somebody asked me something about the, um, um, the bit about people breaking into the White House. About, uh, the woman who was guarding the front door of the White House by herself.

    23. TSTom Segura52:59

        Yeah. That's on your last one, right?

    24. JRJoe Rogan53:00

        Yeah.

    25. TSTom Segura53:00

        I know.

    26. JRJoe Rogan53:00

        And I, and I had to go back and watch it again. I was like-

    27. TSTom Segura53:03

        Oh, yeah.

    28. JRJoe Rogan53:03

        ... "Oh, I forgot all this."

    29. TSTom Segura53:04

        Yeah.

    30. JRJoe Rogan53:05

        I literally forgot how it worked. I forgot all the different beats.
11. 1:04:17 – 1:08:28

    Chappelle’s two ‘specials’ and what counts as a special vs. a workout set

    1. JRJoe Rogan1:04:17

       (laughs) D- what did you think of, uh, Chappelle's two specials? I thought it was really interesting to see him do this big polished special-

    2. TSTom Segura1:04:25

       Yeah.

    3. JRJoe Rogan1:04:26

       ... in a big place, and then do the little special in the Belly Room. I was like, "Well this is- this- the Belly Room felt weird, man."

    4. TSTom Segura1:04:33

       Well, i- I mean, I- personally, my take on it is, like, the second one, the Belly Room one, w- we're un- we're in the practice of calling that a special. But it's really not a special, in my opinion. What you're seeing is what here at least and definitely in Los Angeles, if you live in San Francisco, Denver, New York, places he likes to frequent, uh, what is- what you see Dave Chappelle known for in these cities, which is he would drop into clubs and, like, spill out everything that's on his mind. So, I mean, I don't know if it's more, like, semantics, but it's, like, it's not a special. To me, it's like you're seeing one of the best guys ever do a workout set, like do a- a loose riff. There's- It's only been six, seven weeks since the special was shot that is- that plays before it.

    5. JRJoe Rogan1:05:25

       Right.

    6. TSTom Segura1:05:26

       In which he toured for, like, a year with that. You can see how, like, polished, and you know what I mean? So, I think it's really cool if you're a big standup nerd to see the other one. Like, that's what happens a lot in those cities that he- he'll just fly into and be like-

    7. JRJoe Rogan1:05:40

       Yeah.

    8. TSTom Segura1:05:41

       ... "Here's shit that's on my mind."

    9. JRJoe Rogan1:05:42

       Right.

    10. TSTom Segura1:05:42

        And- and that- it's- so you're seeing, like, it's- it's- it's masterful, but I think it's... Like, I don't call... I- I think of it as separate than a special.

    11. JRJoe Rogan1:05:52

        Mm.

    12. TSTom Segura1:05:52

        You know, like, uh, because a special, to me, is like you tour, you prepare, and then, like, you present it.

    13. JRJoe Rogan1:06:00

        Right.

    14. TSTom Segura1:06:01

        I mean, I know- I understand that you could be like, "Well yeah, it's a separate thing. It's a special." But I'm saying that within that, there's something really specific going on, which is like, this is like in the moment, uh, almost all topical commentary, and like, that's how that dude works. He- he just- he will walk into a club and be like, "I wanna get on stage," and like just talk about... He's- he alwa- he loves topical stuff, so it fits perfectly. But it was- it's very different. It's- I mean, you can see the- the total different, the contrast, especially if- if you watch one after the other.

    15. JRJoe Rogan1:06:38

        Yeah.

    16. TSTom Segura1:06:38

        You know, you're watching toured, proven, like, worked out stuff, and like, "Here's some shit I thought up basically in- in the last week."

    17. JRJoe Rogan1:06:47

        Right, right, right. But a whole hour of it, which is really crazy.

    18. TSTom Segura1:06:51

        Yeah, he's so prolific.

    19. JRJoe Rogan1:06:53

        (coughs) Yeah, and, um, the- the- the fact- the way it worked was doing the two of 'em together. That way-

    20. TSTom Segura1:06:59

        Mm-hmm.

    21. JRJoe Rogan1:06:59

        ... you got to see the big polished special-

    22. TSTom Segura1:07:01

        Yeah.

    23. JRJoe Rogan1:07:01

        ... and then you got to see the fuck around, workout set. So it's like if you watch the big polished special, you're like, "I need more."

    24. TSTom Segura1:07:06

        Yeah.

    25. JRJoe Rogan1:07:07

        Then you know-

    26. TSTom Segura1:07:07

        It's really interesting to see, uh, I think, just to hear people go, uh, back and forth on which they liked more.

    27. JRJoe Rogan1:07:13

        Mm-hmm.

    28. TSTom Segura1:07:13

        I thought that was really interesting. I've seen a bunch of people, at least online-... all say they like the Belly Room, you know?

    29. JRJoe Rogan1:07:19

        Well, the Belly Room was so intimate.

Episode duration: 2:43:49