Joe Rogan Experience #1067 - Whitney Cummings

1. 0:00 – 15:00

   I think what you…

   1. JRJoe Rogan0:01

      I think what you said is dead-on, that you gotta go straight ... He's gotta go straight African American 'cause white people are just not ... Hey, and we're live. (door shuts)

   2. WCWhitney Cummings0:09

      Uh.

   3. JRJoe Rogan0:09

      This is, this is what I think. We need to recognize the return of Dr. Cosby and, uh, send a shout-out to him and all the folks at the barbershops.

   4. WCWhitney Cummings0:16

      I can't do this. No, I can't do this.

   5. JRJoe Rogan0:18

      You were ... (laughs)

   6. WCWhitney Cummings0:18

      I'm triggered. I'm triggered!

   7. JRJoe Rogan0:20

      (laughs) You were saying, uh, before the show, like, what do you do if you're at a comedy club and Bill Cosby walks ... 'Cause apparently Bill Cosby's doing stand-up again. And like, what do you do?

   8. WCWhitney Cummings0:31

      Why isn't he in jail?

   9. JRJoe Rogan0:33

      (laughs)

   10. WCWhitney Cummings0:33

       I'm not even trying ... Like, I'm not trying to be funny.

   11. JRJoe Rogan0:35

       No.

   12. WCWhitney Cummings0:35

       Why isn't this guy in jail?

   13. JRJoe Rogan0:36

       You're right. Well, because the first, first trial was ... Was it a mistrial?

   14. NANarrator0:41

       Yeah. Yeah.

   15. WCWhitney Cummings0:41

       I can't do this.

   16. JRJoe Rogan0:42

       Yeah. It was a mistrial. Um, they couldn't agree, which is hilarious. Like, I mean, how many people have to say, "That guy fucking drugged me and raped me"? How many people ... Like, is there some sort of ... Could you imagine, there's like 80 people-

   17. WCWhitney Cummings0:54

       Yeah.

   18. JRJoe Rogan0:54

       ... that are telling the same story-

   19. WCWhitney Cummings0:56

       Yeah.

   20. JRJoe Rogan0:56

       ... of you drugging them and raping them. And people are like, "Mm, I don't know."

   21. WCWhitney Cummings1:01

       So, and look, and here's what I'll say, like-

   22. JRJoe Rogan1:03

       Get this sucker up to your-

   23. WCWhitney Cummings1:04

       You know, I'm sorry.

   24. JRJoe Rogan1:05

       That's all right.

   25. WCWhitney Cummings1:05

       I just, I don't want anything Black and phallic-

   26. JRJoe Rogan1:07

       You're getting a little crazy. (laughs)

   27. WCWhitney Cummings1:07

       ... near me right now. We're talking about Bill Cosby. This is, (laughs) this is-

   28. JRJoe Rogan1:11

       Oh.

   29. WCWhitney Cummings1:11

       Too soon for this. I guess I just, uh, you know, and it's interesting that this happened after this weekend was the Women's March. And I know like a lot of people wanna roll their eyes. And I was getting a lot of shit on Instagram for like, "The Women's March, you guys have to ..." This is exactly the kinda thing that I'm terrified of, is that this guy is now not in jail and he's just like back to doing stand-up.

   30. JRJoe Rogan1:29

       Yeah.
2. 15:00 – 30:00

   "I give you license…

   1. WCWhitney Cummings15:00

   2. JRJoe Rogan15:00

      "I give you license right now publicly. Say whatever the fuck you want forever."

   3. WCWhitney Cummings15:04

      (laughs) I-

   4. JRJoe Rogan15:04

      "You can't sexually harass me."

   5. WCWhitney Cummings15:05

      Women feel it too. Like, I, you know, I don't wanna, th- m-

   6. JRJoe Rogan15:08

      Well, you don't ... You would feel like a hypocrite.

   7. WCWhitney Cummings15:10

      Look at me. I'm stuttering, I'm panicking.

   8. JRJoe Rogan15:11

      Right.

   9. WCWhitney Cummings15:11

      Exactly.

   10. JRJoe Rogan15:11

       Right.

   11. WCWhitney Cummings15:11

       I don't wanna be a hypocrite.

   12. JRJoe Rogan15:12

       Right.

   13. WCWhitney Cummings15:13

       And, um, you know, I've been coming back to The Comedy Store a lot and I hadn't been there in the last like six months. I've been working on something, and I noticed when I used to go to The Comedy Store, I used to feel like prey.

   14. JRJoe Rogan15:21

       (coughs)

   15. WCWhitney Cummings15:21

       Or any comedy club. It was like, you know, people would hug you too long and, you know, you were just waiting to kind of like have something inappropriate happen. I went in the other night, not one man hugged me.

   16. JRJoe Rogan15:32

       (laughs)

   17. WCWhitney Cummings15:33

       Everyone was like, "Hello, milady."

   18. JRJoe Rogan15:34

       (laughs)

   19. WCWhitney Cummings15:34

       People were like bowing at me. Uh, no one would come near me like I was a fucking leper. Donnell Rawlings came up to me and gave me a hug, and halfway through, he was like, "Oh my God, I'm so sorry. Am I allowed to do that?" And I was just like, "Oh, whoa. Like, this is, this is fucking crazy." The tables have turned because it used to be women were terrified of men, and now men are kinda terrified of women.

   20. JRJoe Rogan15:53

       Definitely guys are afraid of being called out.

   21. WCWhitney Cummings15:55

       Yeah.

   22. JRJoe Rogan15:55

       There's a lot of that, and a lot of guys going over there-

   23. WCWhitney Cummings15:57

       Are you afraid if you don't have skeletons in your closet, though?

   24. JRJoe Rogan16:01

       If you're afraid if you don't?

   25. WCWhitney Cummings16:03

       If you don't. Are you afraid because you know you have some shit?

   26. JRJoe Rogan16:06

       Well, here's the thing. You don't have to have skeletons in your closet.

   27. WCWhitney Cummings16:09

       Sure.

   28. JRJoe Rogan16:09

       You can just have a bad relationship-

   29. WCWhitney Cummings16:11

       Sure.

   30. JRJoe Rogan16:11

       ... where someone's mad at you.
3. 30:00 – 45:00

   Mm-hmm. …

   1. WCWhitney Cummings30:00

      thinking, and grandiosity.

   2. JRJoe Rogan30:01

      Mm-hmm.

   3. WCWhitney Cummings30:02

      Memory, insight, and judgment can become impaired.

   4. JRJoe Rogan30:04

      Maybe he's got everything and they're duking it out inside of his system.

   5. WCWhitney Cummings30:06

      He got syphilis in the fucking '80s from Stormy Brown or whoever.

   6. JRJoe Rogan30:10

      (laughs)

   7. WCWhitney Cummings30:10

      And now he's fucking got delusional thinking and grandiosity.

   8. JRJoe Rogan30:14

      Okay. S- stormy brown right now is-

   9. WCWhitney Cummings30:16

      Patchy hair loss.

   10. JRJoe Rogan30:17

       ... pissed off.

   11. WCWhitney Cummings30:17

       And then it also makes your hair, like, fluffy and just exactly as-

   12. JRJoe Rogan30:21

       Yeah, but he's fucking 90 years old. You're gonna lose your hair.

   13. WCWhitney Cummings30:24

       Uh, the-

   14. JRJoe Rogan30:26

       There's like a history of his hair.

   15. WCWhitney Cummings30:28

       The whole thing. (laughs)

   16. JRJoe Rogan30:28

       Look at all those girls. He's back, I banged her, I banged her, I banged her, and I banged her.

   17. WCWhitney Cummings30:33

       That's amazing. That's amazing.

   18. JRJoe Rogan30:33

       I came on her feet.

   19. WCWhitney Cummings30:33

       That's kind of amazing.

   20. JRJoe Rogan30:34

       I banged her. (laughs)

   21. WCWhitney Cummings30:35

       Anyway, so, I mean, you can see why we're all a little triggered.

   22. JRJoe Rogan30:39

       Yeah. But I don't think... I think people are reaching for straws. I mean, he just got ... That- that was interesting, the doctor that examined him-

   23. WCWhitney Cummings30:45

       Mm-hmm.

   24. JRJoe Rogan30:46

       ... examined him and said that he probably, if he had a good diet, he'd live to be like 200 years old, he's got just great genes. That doctor that examined him, I was like, this is... This doctor-

   25. WCWhitney Cummings30:55

       Who is this doctor? The guy that killed-

   26. JRJoe Rogan30:56

       It's weird.

   27. WCWhitney Cummings30:56

       ... Michael Jackson is his doctor?

   28. JRJoe Rogan30:57

       But here's the... No.

   29. WCWhitney Cummings30:58

       Who is this guy?

   30. JRJoe Rogan30:58

       But here's the thing. After he did that, then Sanjay Gupta examined the actual results.
4. 45:00 – 59:53

   That makes sense. …

   1. WCWhitney Cummings45:00

      pretend I agree with things that maybe I actually don't.

   2. JRJoe Rogan45:02

      That makes sense.

   3. WCWhitney Cummings45:02

      We get dopamine from harmony-

   4. JRJoe Rogan45:04

      Yeah.

   5. WCWhitney Cummings45:04

      ... because I'm less able to defend myself.

   6. JRJoe Rogan45:06

      Mm-hmm.

   7. WCWhitney Cummings45:06

      Especially with men. I need you to like me 'cause I need your protection.

   8. JRJoe Rogan45:09

      Right.

   9. WCWhitney Cummings45:10

      W- we're not that different. I, I mean, 2- 200 years ago, I needed your protection. Like, my brain has not caught up to the fact that, like, it's illegal for you to attack me and rape me (laughs) now, you know?

   10. JRJoe Rogan45:21

       That doesn't mean anything though.

   11. WCWhitney Cummings45:22

       I- I- I think it means something to our reptilian brains, you know?

   12. JRJoe Rogan45:25

       But the legal part doesn't mean anything in terms of-

   13. WCWhitney Cummings45:27

       Or it d-... That's true.

   14. JRJoe Rogan45:28

       ... no one, no one's gonna save you.

   15. WCWhitney Cummings45:30

       Total- uh, correct.

   16. JRJoe Rogan45:31

       Right.

   17. WCWhitney Cummings45:31

       That's correct. You could kill me or you could whenever you wanted, but 200 years ago, it was like, you know, what? There was no phones to even call to report anything.

   18. JRJoe Rogan45:39

       Right.

   19. WCWhitney Cummings45:39

       It was just much more common, I suppose.

   20. JRJoe Rogan45:40

       But, but what I'm saying is that today, that, that, like, any- anyone saying that that fear is alleviated because there's laws against it is crazy-

   21. WCWhitney Cummings45:47

       Yeah. Totally. I-

   22. JRJoe Rogan45:47

       ... 'cause those fears are always there.

   23. WCWhitney Cummings45:49

       Completely. In my reptile brain. Just in my conscious brain, I'm sort of like, okay, it's less likely that this is gonna happen-

   24. JRJoe Rogan45:54

       Yeah.

   25. WCWhitney Cummings45:54

       ... 'cause we all have this illusion of being civilized, you know?

   26. JRJoe Rogan45:57

       That's all horse shit.

   27. WCWhitney Cummings45:58

       Yeah.

   28. JRJoe Rogan45:58

       I get nervous when I interview Francis Ngannou after a fight. Like when I got-

   29. WCWhitney Cummings46:02

       Wow.

   30. JRJoe Rogan46:02

       ... when I had to interview him Saturday night 'cause he's-

Episode duration: 2:28:49