Joe Rogan Experience #1072 - Joey Diaz

1. 0:00 – 15:00

   ... the story. (laughs)…

   1. JDJoey Diaz0:00

      ... the story. (laughs) Save the story.

   2. JRJoe Rogan0:01

      Did not show up, so I'm flying him out after Luke Rockhold-

   3. JDJoey Diaz0:04

      Are we live? Okay.

   4. JRJoe Rogan0:04

      I'm gonna do a podcast with him with subtitles in Spanish, then I'm bringing him up here on Friday and we're gonna-

   5. JDJoey Diaz0:09

      What? Really?

   6. JRJoe Rogan0:10

      Yeah. I'm, I got a company to do it for me in Spanish with subtitles. And then I'm gonna bring him up here on Friday and we're gonna have a three-way about Cuba.

   7. JDJoey Diaz0:19

      Whoa.

   8. JRJoe Rogan0:19

      And what it was like to wrestle and the whole thing, if you don't mind.

   9. JDJoey Diaz0:22

      Whoa.

   10. JRJoe Rogan0:22

       I don't know if you'd mind. So I'll do mine about subtitles just in Español.

   11. JDJoey Diaz0:27

       Okay.

   12. JRJoe Rogan0:27

       Cómo hablan de Cuba, cómo tú te criaste. So, no, we will not clash with you.

   13. JDJoey Diaz0:32

       Dude, the three-

   14. JRJoe Rogan0:33

       You, y-

   15. JDJoey Diaz0:33

       ... of us together would be the greatest podcast ever.

   16. JRJoe Rogan0:35

       You, you, yeah, 'cause I can interpret and you would be, would be, uh, it would be, uh, real MMA. You could really talk-

   17. JDJoey Diaz0:42

       Yeah.

   18. JRJoe Rogan0:42

       ... about underhooks and-

   19. JDJoey Diaz0:43

       Dude.

   20. JRJoe Rogan0:43

       ... Russia and-

   21. JDJoey Diaz0:44

       That's a fantastic idea.

   22. JRJoe Rogan0:46

       ... early training in Cuba and where they shipped them, 'cause they ship you off when you're a young kid.

   23. JDJoey Diaz0:50

       They do?

   24. JRJoe Rogan0:51

       That's what a lot of people don't know. Yeah, they look at you and then they go, uh, "Pelotero." You don't have a choice. They look at you and they go, "Tú vas a luchadero," and that's it. Nah, they, they take you at a certain age and they, or they either send you to Nicaragua or Russia and you train. And that's why a lot of Cubans are judokas, because they go to Russia and learn judo.

   25. JDJoey Diaz1:15

       Wow.

   26. JRJoe Rogan1:16

       So he's gonna tell you how they shipped him off with... And, and they don't just tell your mom like, "We're taking him tomorrow."

   27. JDJoey Diaz1:22

       That's a r- It's always been interesting to me because the Cubans and the Russians in particular were always thought of, of as being very technical. S- really the Russians. Russians are super technical. That was what, uh, a lot of people attributed George St-Pierre's success in wrestling. You know, George didn't wrestle in college or in high school, uh, but he trained with a bunch of Russian nationals in Montreal, and apparently phenomenal wrestlers. They have this incredible wrestling program. Like, when you see, when you see Nurmagomedov, the way he mauls people inside the octagon-

   28. JRJoe Rogan1:52

       (laughs)

   29. JDJoey Diaz1:52

       ... like what in the fuck? Like that is like a, a perfect example of that like style of super hard, super technical wrestling. They're so good at it. There's so many. Do you see... You know, you see Lomachenko used to be a wrestler?

   30. JRJoe Rogan2:07

       Yeah.
2. 15:00 – 30:00

   Is it? …

   1. JRJoe Rogan15:00

      that beating on the bikers. That's a true story, bro.

   2. JDJoey Diaz15:02

      Is it?

   3. JRJoe Rogan15:02

      That's a true, true story. I wa- Listen, in the '60s, you couldn't have long hair and walk around the Bronx. It just wasn't accepted.

   4. JDJoey Diaz15:11

      Really?

   5. JRJoe Rogan15:11

      Yeah, yeah. Tha- that hippie shit? Tha- tha- that didn't happen in the Bronx in 1965.

   6. JDJoey Diaz15:16

      So what did they do? (laughs) What if, like, a hippie was walking through the Bronx?

   7. JRJoe Rogan15:19

      They called you dirty hair. They insulted you. They called you a bunch of shit, and then they threw a beating on you.

   8. JDJoey Diaz15:26

      Wow.

   9. JRJoe Rogan15:26

      And it's hysterical because that scene is so accurate, because after the adults threw a beating on you, then the neighborhood kids chased you. Like, the young kids with sticks. And that's what we'd do.

   10. JDJoey Diaz15:37

       Wow.

   11. JRJoe Rogan15:38

       You know? Like, the little guys would chase you and fu- Once you were beat up and they took all your money, it's a classic scene.

   12. JDJoey Diaz15:45

       Hmm.

   13. JRJoe Rogan15:46

       I was thinking about that. I'm like, actually, I gotta call Joe and ask him when the last time... Look at this. Look how bad to the bone that ... Whether he stole it, Joe, whether he stole the scene or ... Look at this. "You gotta leave." Um, your man is telling us you gotta leave. Why not just tell them, Sonny?

   14. JVJamie Vernon16:05

       The only problem is, your man here says we're not properly dressed. Like our money ain't green.

   15. JDJoey Diaz16:09

       "Like our money ain't green."

   16. JVJamie Vernon16:10

       Two bits, that's it. That's it, we'll be on our way. We ain't looking for trouble.

   17. JDJoey Diaz16:16

       Gotta be careful for you two.

   18. JVJamie Vernon16:18

       I appreciate it. No problem. Right.

   19. JRJoe Rogan16:21

       Listen to th-

   20. JDJoey Diaz16:22

       Yeah.

   21. JRJoe Rogan16:22

       How cool this come together sound, Doug.

   22. JDJoey Diaz16:23

       He got them around, right?

   23. JRJoe Rogan16:25

       Yeah.

   24. JVJamie Vernon16:26

       We got some booze down here. Nice cold ones. Cut him some. Hit 'em up. Got a nice selection.

   25. JRJoe Rogan16:29

       Oh, this is a great scene, Joey.

   26. JDJoey Diaz16:30

       This is a great song, Doug.

   27. JVJamie Vernon16:32

       Yeah.

   28. JDJoey Diaz16:32

       I forgot about this scene.

   29. JVJamie Vernon16:33

       This is a great scene.

   30. JDJoey Diaz16:33

       It's a perfect song, right?
3. 30:00 – 45:00

   (laughs) …

   1. JRJoe Rogan30:00

      my mom, but I run this motherfucker." So once I gave him that advice, like it really... For a while there, him and I would go on a float. I kept stealing his coins from his San-

   2. JDJoey Diaz30:10

      (laughs)

   3. JRJoe Rogan30:10

      He had this San Lazzaro thing, and that was everything to him. So he had this big bottle of like Scotch that was empty and he would put silver dollars in there and I would steal them.

   4. JDJoey Diaz30:21

      (laughs)

   5. JRJoe Rogan30:21

      And from time to time, (laughs) he would come home and go, "That bottle's looking light. Somebody's stealing my..." I k- I destroyed-

   6. JDJoey Diaz30:28

      Oh.

   7. JRJoe Rogan30:28

      ... his mind for years.

   8. JDJoey Diaz30:29

      (sobs)

   9. JRJoe Rogan30:29

      Because he was a very particular man.So, he had different bundles of money. I gotta tell you something, I respect him today because I saw him get out of the joint and I saw what he did with bookmaking, and how he became partners on a butcher shop.

   10. JDJoey Diaz30:44

       Oh, he started businesses?

   11. JRJoe Rogan30:45

       He started different businesses. So, uh, after I saved his... that night with the Baccarat, he would listen to me. And then one day, I went and I be- I signed up for bitty basketball in Union City, and they used to give... You know like now if you sign your kid up, you gotta pay $80 and-

   12. JDJoey Diaz31:01

       Right.

   13. JRJoe Rogan31:01

       In those days, you just show up with an address.

   14. JDJoey Diaz31:04

       Right.

   15. JRJoe Rogan31:04

       And they gave you a T-shirt, they put you on the team, and they gave me a number. And it said like Union City Department of Recreation, and it was a purple shirt. My number was 57. I walked in the house and he goes, "What do you got there?" And I go, "Oh, I joined the basketball thing." And he goes, "What number is it?" He goes, "57." Cubans, again, are very superstitious. 57. He goes, "Put a number on that." And he picked up the phone, and I go, "Five." He called some guy and he goes, "Give me 557 for $10." Guess what happened, Joe Rogan?

   16. JDJoey Diaz31:34

       What happened?

   17. JRJoe Rogan31:34

       The number came up.

   18. JDJoey Diaz31:35

       Ooh.

   19. JRJoe Rogan31:36

       Now, I really had him under my spell, right?

   20. JDJoey Diaz31:38

       Get the fuck outta here.

   21. JRJoe Rogan31:39

       Listen, I had this motherfucker at the age of 12-

   22. JDJoey Diaz31:42

       (laughs)

   23. JRJoe Rogan31:42

       ... so he would listen to me and shit. (laughs)

   24. JDJoey Diaz31:45

       How old was the guy?

   25. JRJoe Rogan31:47

       My stepfather Juan at the time was 47.

   26. JDJoey Diaz31:51

       (laughs)

   27. JRJoe Rogan31:51

       Did not drink.

   28. JDJoey Diaz31:51

       Can you imagine?

   29. JRJoe Rogan31:52

       Did not drink, did not do drugs, carried a straight razor, Joe Rogan.

   30. JDJoey Diaz31:56

       A straight razor to cut people with?
4. 45:00 – 1:00:00

   Like real good guys,…

   1. JDJoey Diaz45:00

      pool hall. We would take the drive from, um, from New York to go down to New Jersey to this famous pool hall that would have these like serious high-level professionals play there. And real high-level hustlers from all over the country would go there for big money games. You could go there and watch people play for $5,000, $10,000. I mean, the best in the world would be there all the time. I got to play against some of the best in the world. They killed me, but I got to play againem- against them.

   2. JRJoe Rogan45:28

      Like real good guys, now-

   3. JDJoey Diaz45:30

      I just enter the tournament.

   4. JRJoe Rogan45:31

      Okay. Okay, okay.

   5. JDJoey Diaz45:31

      Say if you and I- if you and I are in the tournament and you are, uh, Efren Reyes, like the greatest of all time, or Earl Strickland or Johnny Archer, and I'm just Joe Rogan. I- I barely could play. It doesn't matter. I put my money up, I enter the tournament, I can play against you.

   6. JRJoe Rogan45:46

      No.

   7. JDJoey Diaz45:46

      Unless it's a huge, huge like where you have to get invited.

   8. JRJoe Rogan45:49

      So now does Joey Diaz come on the side and go, "Listen, I'm putting 3:1 odds on this."

   9. JDJoey Diaz45:53

      Sure, some people definitely do.

   10. JRJoe Rogan45:55

       Okay. So that's-

   11. JDJoey Diaz45:55

       Definitely do.

   12. JRJoe Rogan45:55

       ... a side... That's a side bet.

   13. JDJoey Diaz45:57

       Yes.

   14. JRJoe Rogan45:57

       Okay.

   15. JDJoey Diaz45:57

       Side bets all over the place.

   16. JRJoe Rogan45:58

       I don't know how the pool hall-

   17. JDJoey Diaz45:59

       "I got 100 bucks on Archer." You know, "Oh, you'd never seen this Diaz kid play. I got 100 on Diaz." And d- dudes will go, "I'll take that, I'll take that." And then you just work it out. And everybody works it out. But when ... Sometimes guys will get together and back somebody too. Like say if the- you got like a friend that's a really good player and this guy's coming in from out of town and he wants to take a crack at him. And go, well, he wants to play $100 sets. Okay, and then you have to think, how many barrels do we have? You pool all your money together. Okay, we got four barrels. That means if he wants to play sets, we can lose four times. So you have to be able to lose a couple, gain a couple. Like if you're gonna really play a guy out, these guys would play 10, 12 hours. They would keep going back and forth and back and forth. It's- it's a- it's crazy. Like I've seen guys and you would see them the next day, they'd still be playing. You'd go there in the morning, they'd be playing all through the night. I don't know what the fuck they were on. Most likely some sort of amphetamines. That was a big thing in the pool world for a while. Guys would just break each other with gambling. It would just ... It would be about who quits. It wouldn't be about who won. It's very rarely about like-

   18. JRJoe Rogan47:00

       And like-

   19. JDJoey Diaz47:00

       ... you know, like you would- you would be- you would be frowned upon highly if you left on top. Say if you're ahead by $500 and you want to quit me and I- you ... And I'm still ready- ready to keep playing, I still got more money, man. Let me win my money back. If you just walked away, "Nope, I've got what I wanted. I'm going to leave now." Like that would be ... You'd- you'd be what's called bad action.

   20. JRJoe Rogan47:22

       What about guys, "I got two kids, I got to get up at 7:00 and go bring them to school."

   21. JDJoey Diaz47:25

       Shouldn't be out in the pool hall, motherfucker. With two kids you're not playing that kind of pool. There ain't nobody with two kids playing that level pool in pool halls, like gambling and hustling.

   22. JRJoe Rogan47:32

       Because a pool hall-

   23. JDJoey Diaz47:33

       Maybe now there are. There's actually a few guys. I take that back. There's a few guys with kids that, uh, are top of the food chain.

   24. JRJoe Rogan47:39

       There's a pool hall a mile from my house, whenever I get ... Whenever I go into Hollywood now, I can't do Laurel Canyon no more, so I got to go the long way.

   25. JDJoey Diaz47:46

       (clears throat)

   26. JRJoe Rogan47:47

       And I get off on Victory just to see it fucking always filled with degenerates. (smacks lips) I'm petrified to pull in there. There were some-

   27. JDJoey Diaz47:54

       Those places were home to me. (clears throat)

   28. JRJoe Rogan47:56

       You know which one I'm talking about, right? Next to the strip club.

   29. JDJoey Diaz47:59

       Yeah.

   30. JRJoe Rogan47:59

       Is that a good one?
5. 1:00:00 – 1:11:18

   That's so silly. …

   1. JDJoey Diaz1:00:00

      That's so silly.

   2. JRJoe Rogan1:00:00

      There, there's no more Hello Tushys. The TKOs? I bought the final fucking... I got a cartel.

   3. Mm.

   4. I'm like Pablo Escobar.

   5. JDJoey Diaz1:00:08

      (laughs)

   6. JRJoe Rogan1:00:08

      I got a fucking cache of... The ones I ate this morning, those Hello... The TKOs?

   7. JDJoey Diaz1:00:13

      Yeah.

   8. JRJoe Rogan1:00:14

      Yeah, you can't find them, but I got a cartel.

   9. JDJoey Diaz1:00:16

      (laughs)

   10. JRJoe Rogan1:00:16

       I got a leg-... I'm a... They, they've become like Cuban cigars.

   11. JDJoey Diaz1:00:19

       Oh my God.

   12. JRJoe Rogan1:00:20

       They're like Cuban cigars now.

   13. JDJoey Diaz1:00:22

       (laughs)

   14. JRJoe Rogan1:00:22

       So some people are just gonna keep going.

   15. JDJoey Diaz1:00:24

       (laughs)

   16. JRJoe Rogan1:00:25

       There's no more... Like I tell people, there's no more Stars, but they is stars.

   17. JDJoey Diaz1:00:29

       (laughs)

   18. JRJoe Rogan1:00:29

       You know, there is... But there ain't...

   19. JDJoey Diaz1:00:31

       (laughs)

   20. JRJoe Rogan1:00:31

       Like people are going fucking bananas now 'cause now you got...

   21. JDJoey Diaz1:00:35

       Oh, yeah.

   22. JRJoe Rogan1:00:35

       You gotta see the w-... Like I only go to w- two weed stores. (coughs) But I go to one that's by the book and I go to one that they just said, "You know what? We're like Stipe Miocic. We don't give a fuck." This is immigrant mentality. "We open at 6:00, we close at 10:00. We give away free bagels if you come at 6:00."

   23. JDJoey Diaz1:00:54

       (laughs)

   24. JRJoe Rogan1:00:55

       ... and you gotta see it. They're rocking-

   25. JDJoey Diaz1:00:56

       (coughs)

   26. JRJoe Rogan1:00:56

       ... and rolling.

   27. JDJoey Diaz1:00:57

       Wow.

   28. JRJoe Rogan1:00:57

       And they're gonna sell those 200 milligram stars-

   29. JDJoey Diaz1:01:00

       (gasps)

   30. JRJoe Rogan1:01:00

       ... till people go down the fucking end-

Episode duration: 3:06:34