Joe Rogan Experience #1086 - Rory Albanese

1. 0:04 – 2:02

   West Coast weed, GMO strains, and Barbra Streisand cloning her dogs

   1. JRJoe Rogan0:04

      Boom, and we're live. What happened? You took your hat off? You going f-

   2. RARory Albanese0:07

      Yeah.

   3. JRJoe Rogan0:07

      You getting crazy.

   4. RARory Albanese0:08

      (laughs) I'm trying to feel, you know, I wanna feel at home.

   5. JRJoe Rogan0:10

      It's that West Coast marijuana, dude.

   6. RARory Albanese0:11

      Yeah.

   7. JRJoe Rogan0:11

      It hits you hard, right?

   8. RARory Albanese0:12

      (laughs) It does.

   9. JRJoe Rogan0:13

      Right?

   10. RARory Albanese0:13

       Hard and fast, man.

   11. JRJoe Rogan0:13

       Woo! It's no joke.

   12. RARory Albanese0:14

       Yeah, it's no joke.

   13. JRJoe Rogan0:15

       These chemists, or whatever they are.

   14. RARory Albanese0:16

       Yeah.

   15. JRJoe Rogan0:16

       Botanists, these fucking science dorks.

   16. RARory Albanese0:19

       Yeah.

   17. JRJoe Rogan0:19

       They've done a wonderful job.

   18. RARory Albanese0:21

       They've figured it out. Yeah.

   19. JRJoe Rogan0:21

       Jesus Christ. It's not even the same thing anymore.

   20. RARory Albanese0:23

       No. It's a-

   21. JRJoe Rogan0:24

       You know?

   22. RARory Albanese0:24

       ... it's, it's a, uh, it's a, it's, uh, it's GMO all the way. (laughs)

   23. JRJoe Rogan0:29

       (laughs)

   24. RARory Albanese0:30

       Yeah, it's like, "Hey, hey, hey."

   25. JRJoe Rogan0:31

       Yeah.

   26. RARory Albanese0:31

       "Have you guys tested this on people yet?" I know it's crazy.

   27. JRJoe Rogan0:34

       (laughs)

   28. RARory Albanese0:34

       I'm like, "I know you took the seeds out of watermelon, but what the f-" (laughs)

   29. JRJoe Rogan0:37

       Yeah. How the fuck did they do that?

   30. RARory Albanese0:39

       I don't know.
2. 2:02 – 4:43

   Shelter dogs: trauma, rehab, and why adoption can be complicated

   1. RARory Albanese2:02

      For free.

   2. JRJoe Rogan2:02

      ... there is, I have a story that I do in my act about a pound dog that I had. I had a pound dog that killed one of my dogs.

   3. RARory Albanese2:08

      Wow.

   4. JRJoe Rogan2:09

      Pound dogs are tricky, man. Y- you know, you get a-

   5. RARory Albanese2:11

      W-

   6. JRJoe Rogan2:11

      ... dog that's been in, like, a shelter for a long time.

   7. RARory Albanese2:15

      Yeah.

   8. JRJoe Rogan2:16

      Like sometimes they, they're in there for months. They come out highly aggressive.

   9. RARory Albanese2:20

      And, um, like my dog-

   10. JRJoe Rogan2:21

       Some of them.

   11. RARory Albanese2:22

       My dog's-

   12. JRJoe Rogan2:22

       Some of them don't.

   13. RARory Albanese2:22

       ... a shelter dog, but I got her, I mean, she's 13 now. But when I got her, she was a puppy, you know, and they found, she was a stray puppy. She was a little black Lab, like, just wandering in the Bronx when they found her.

   14. JRJoe Rogan2:31

       Yeah.

   15. RARory Albanese2:31

       And I got her probably, like, three days after they found her.

   16. JRJoe Rogan2:35

       What age do you think a dog would have to be? Like, you gotta imagine, like, a certain amount of abuse that a dog suffers early in its life before it gets to the pound has gotta really fuck with its head.

   17. RARory Albanese2:44

       Yeah.

   18. JRJoe Rogan2:45

       Right?

   19. RARory Albanese2:45

       I think-

   20. JRJoe Rogan2:45

       Like, there's dogs that you get at the pound, you're essentially, like, taking on an abused organism.

   21. RARory Albanese2:50

       Completely.

   22. JRJoe Rogan2:51

       It's not, it's not just that it doesn't have a home. It's that it might've been in dog fights. Like, I'm pretty sure that mine e- either its family was in dog fights or it was in a dog fight. And there's, you know, people around you that are probably kicking you and beating you and-

   23. RARory Albanese3:05

       Oh, yeah. Or you're tied up for hours at a time. You, like you, you know, you have no free rein. I mean, who knows? But I do think dogs can be rehabilitated, but I do think it takes ... You have to have a, a ... Look, to even have a dog be a good dog, right?

   24. JRJoe Rogan3:18

       I don't know enough.

   25. RARory Albanese3:18

       Like to ha- like I have a, I had, when I had my puppy, like, I worked with my dog so much.

   26. JRJoe Rogan3:23

       Mm.

   27. RARory Albanese3:23

       And she's a great dog. Like, I can walk in New York City without a leash and she just follows me. She stops.

   28. JRJoe Rogan3:28

       Oh, really?

   29. RARory Albanese3:28

       Yeah. She's amazing.

   30. JRJoe Rogan3:29

       That's-
3. 4:43 – 7:56

   Euthanasia, irresponsible owners, and dangerous breeds in the wrong hands

   1. RARory Albanese4:43

      One, uh, where I, where I got my dog, if you go ... Which is like Animal Care and Control in New York City, like they euthanize like 100 dogs a day.

   2. JRJoe Rogan4:50

      (laughs)

   3. RARory Albanese4:50

      Like, it's literally just like their dogs are coming in all the time.

   4. JRJoe Rogan4:54

      Dude.

   5. RARory Albanese4:54

      Dogs with stab wounds, dogs they find in the park half to-

   6. JRJoe Rogan4:57

      Mm.

   7. RARory Albanese4:57

      And then they, like, they have five days in that pound, and then they're out. So it's a good ... I was, when I was there, this is again, like 13 years ago. But when I was getting my dog, and I was waiting to pick her up, this woman came in with two Rottweilers, beautiful Rottweilers on leashes, and she goes, "I don't want these anymore."

   8. JRJoe Rogan5:14

      Oh, man.

   9. RARory Albanese5:14

      And the, and the lady behind the counter is like, "Well, what do you mean?" Like, that, you know? And then she was like, "I, I just can't handle them." And then they like took the leash, and she walked out, and then there were just these two d- now I don't know if they were trained to kill or not. I wasn't gonna be like, "Add two Rottweilers to my tab." (laughs) You know?

   10. JRJoe Rogan5:27

       Yeah. You can't do that.

   11. RARory Albanese5:28

       But who knows? I, I have no, I knew nothing about them. But I'm like, well, in five days, those dogs are dead 'cause they're like four-year-old Rottweilers.

   12. JRJoe Rogan5:33

       I had a Doberman that we adopted as a ki- when I was a kid, and it had distemper, and it, uh-

   13. RARory Albanese5:39

       Which means what?

   14. JRJoe Rogan5:39

       It's a disease that makes them really aggressive.

   15. RARory Albanese5:42

       Oh.

   16. JRJoe Rogan5:42

       In this crazy way. The dog turned on us.

   17. RARory Albanese5:44

       That's scary.

   18. JRJoe Rogan5:45

       Oh, dude. It was so scary. I was like (sighs) . I couldn't have been more than 12. I was like maybe 12, somewhere around then, and this big ass Doberman is like showing its teeth and barking and snapping at us.

   19. RARory Albanese5:59

       That's scary.

   20. JRJoe Rogan6:00

       And out of nowhere.

   21. RARory Albanese6:01

       Yeah.

   22. JRJoe Rogan6:01

       It was the sweetest dog before, and then all of a sudden it's on the couch, like, looking down on us, and we were like, "Whoa. What is happening here?" And so, um-... they, um, they came and, um, took the dog, I think? Or did we take the dog to the pound? I don't remember what happened. Or to the vet, rather. And then they, um, ran an examination on the dog and they're like, "This dog has distemper." So we just, we had got it with this-

   23. RARory Albanese6:26

       Yeah.

   24. JRJoe Rogan6:26

       ... weird disease that-

   25. RARory Albanese6:27

       And that's like, you can't have that in a house with kids.

   26. JRJoe Rogan6:29

       I don't know what the fuck they ... Well, I was a kid at the time-

   27. RARory Albanese6:31

       Right.

   28. JRJoe Rogan6:31

       ... and my parents weren't having it, but I don't remember like ... I don't remember too much about it.

   29. RARory Albanese6:35

       Yeah, they sent him to a farm, Joe. They sent him-

   30. JRJoe Rogan6:37

       I just remember that dog on the couch. I just remember that dog on the couch showing its teeth-
4. 7:56 – 10:18

   Dogs as engineered wolves: breeding, domestication, and “bitch-ass” campfire wolves

   1. RARory Albanese7:56

      It's funny too 'cause we're talking about like genetic modifications or cloning, but really, dogs, if you look at them historically, that, they've been that the whole time. Like men have m- m- man has manipulated what they wanted out of certain animals.

   2. JRJoe Rogan8:08

      Yeah.

   3. RARory Albanese8:08

      And like they've bred the, the, the meanest, toughest ones to be guard dogs, and they've bred the cutest take a piss on a paper mat ones to be lap dogs (laughs) , you know?

   4. JRJoe Rogan8:17

      Yeah.

   5. RARory Albanese8:17

      Those are all choices that were made.

   6. JRJoe Rogan8:19

      By humans.

   7. RARory Albanese8:20

      Yeah, by humans. And over time they've like, by continued breeding of ones that were the same and same and same, you end up with like, you know, breeds and things. Like ma- man really like played a huge role in the kind of, kind of dogs that are out there.

   8. JRJoe Rogan8:29

      I think man did the whole thing.

   9. RARory Albanese8:30

      Yeah.

   10. JRJoe Rogan8:30

       'Cause when they did the, the genome, when they mapped out the DNA-

   11. RARory Albanese8:34

       It's just a wolf.

   12. JRJoe Rogan8:34

       ... it's a wolf, yeah.

   13. RARory Albanese8:35

       Yeah.

   14. JRJoe Rogan8:35

       Every dog is a wolf.

   15. RARory Albanese8:36

       Yeah. No matter how big the dog is.

   16. JRJoe Rogan8:38

       Isn't that crazy?

   17. RARory Albanese8:39

       Yeah.

   18. JRJoe Rogan8:39

       Like think about how powerful and terrifying and majestic a wolf is, right?

   19. RARory Albanese8:44

       Yeah.

   20. JRJoe Rogan8:44

       I mean, it's one of the most amazing creatures-

   21. RARory Albanese8:46

       Badass creatures. Yeah.

   22. JRJoe Rogan8:46

       ... in the forest.

   23. RARory Albanese8:47

       Couldn't agree more.

   24. JRJoe Rogan8:48

       And we found just the one that was just slightly bitch ass.

   25. RARory Albanese8:52

       (laughs)

   26. JRJoe Rogan8:52

       Just slightly bitch ass. We're like, "Come on at the campfire, bro."

   27. RARory Albanese8:55

       Yeah.

   28. JRJoe Rogan8:55

       "Dude, we got free food."

   29. RARory Albanese8:56

       Yeah, and he's like, "Oh, bacon's good." Yeah.

   30. JRJoe Rogan8:58

       "Oh, okay. Okay."
5. 10:18 – 13:51

   Poodles with braids: extreme grooming, “dog cosplay,” and what counts as abuse

   1. RARory Albanese10:18

      (laughs) But I have to say, I, I feel bad when I see dogs have that haircut 'cause like they have no part in it. You know what I mean? Like they're just h-

   2. JRJoe Rogan10:24

      Look at these dogs. (laughs)

   3. RARory Albanese10:25

      Yeah.

   4. JRJoe Rogan10:26

      Jamie showed us a picture of dogs with braids.

   5. RARory Albanese10:28

      Unreal.

   6. JRJoe Rogan10:29

      Okay, now seriously, is that-

   7. RARory Albanese10:30

      Look, those dogs are wearing slippers.

   8. JRJoe Rogan10:31

      Is that cultural appropriation?

   9. RARory Albanese10:33

      (laughs) A little bit.

   10. JRJoe Rogan10:33

       How does that work?

   11. RARory Albanese10:34

       A little bit.

   12. JRJoe Rogan10:35

       I feel like it might be.

   13. RARory Albanese10:36

       They're white dogs.

   14. JRJoe Rogan10:37

       (clears throat) They're stealing from Santa Claus. Look at the colors.

   15. RARory Albanese10:39

       Yeah.

   16. JRJoe Rogan10:39

       They got Santa's gang colors.

   17. RARory Albanese10:41

       God, and people just ... You know? Like d- ugh, it's just-

   18. JRJoe Rogan10:44

       What in the fuck is that?

   19. RARory Albanese10:45

       ... that's not okay.

   20. JRJoe Rogan10:46

       What in the fuck did they do to this dog? We're looking at a dog, its body is a-

   21. RARory Albanese10:50

       That's abuse.

   22. JRJoe Rogan10:50

       ... is a pink snail, and I'm not joking. It looks like a pink snail, like a swirly with, with hot pink accents. Is that how you'd say it?

   23. RARory Albanese10:59

       Yeah.

   24. JRJoe Rogan10:59

       Stripes? Accents?

   25. RARory Albanese11:00

       And its, its back leg is a flower.

   26. JRJoe Rogan11:02

       Yeah, it's fucking preposterous.

   27. RARory Albanese11:04

       Spray painted. They spray painted the dog.

   28. JRJoe Rogan11:05

       They spray painted the dog. That dog is dying.

   29. RARory Albanese11:08

       That's-

   30. JRJoe Rogan11:09

       Chemicals. It has green hair too. It's like he-
6. 13:51 – 16:19

   Why eating dogs horrifies Americans—and the surprising “pro-egg” moral argument

   1. JRJoe Rogan13:51

      But it's interesting, like, that, you know, like, one of the things that was coming out of South Korea during the Olympics was people were talking about, um, in Asian countries, the consumption of dogs. It became a big hot point issue with a lot of people.

   2. RARory Albanese14:07

      Yeah.

   3. JRJoe Rogan14:08

      It's, it is weird that we, like, choose certain animals that it's okay to kill and eat.

   4. RARory Albanese14:13

      I could agree more, man. I think that our, our food hangups are so specific to our country. Like, I think about this all the time.

   5. JRJoe Rogan14:19

      But it's... But doesn't it disturb you?

   6. RARory Albanese14:19

      Like, a bacon egg... But a bacon, egg, and cheese sandwich, right-

   7. JRJoe Rogan14:22

      Right.

   8. RARory Albanese14:22

      ... is fried pig's ass, uh, unfertilized embryo, and mold.

   9. JRJoe Rogan14:28

      N- well, that's not, not true.

   10. RARory Albanese14:29

       And mold.

   11. JRJoe Rogan14:29

       But it-

   12. RARory Albanese14:30

       What do you mean?

   13. JRJoe Rogan14:30

       It's an... It's an unfertilized embryo-

   14. RARory Albanese14:33

       Isn't an unfertilized egg-

   15. JRJoe Rogan14:33

       ... but nothing has to die.

   16. RARory Albanese14:34

       Well, yeah, it's... No, nothing has to die, but it's an egg.

   17. JRJoe Rogan14:35

       It just pops out, right? Yeah.

   18. RARory Albanese14:36

       Yeah.

   19. JRJoe Rogan14:36

       It's an egg.

   20. RARory Albanese14:36

       Yeah.

   21. JRJoe Rogan14:37

       Yeah.

   22. RARory Albanese14:37

       And it's... Sometimes you... You ever crack an egg and there's a little, uh, chicken in there?

   23. JRJoe Rogan14:42

       No.

   24. RARory Albanese14:42

       You never had that happen to you?

   25. JRJoe Rogan14:43

       I never had that. I've had little extra things in there.

   26. RARory Albanese14:44

       No, I've had, like, a little... Almost-

   27. JRJoe Rogan14:46

       Like, little growths? Really?

   28. RARory Albanese14:47

       Yeah. Not like a full chicken, but like, oh, that's gonna be a chicken.

   29. JRJoe Rogan14:50

       You know, I was, like, in my 40s before I knew that an egg couldn't become a chicken. 'Cause I never thought about how stupid it was.

   30. RARory Albanese14:57

       Oh, that it has to get... Yeah, it had to get, uh-
7. 16:19 – 22:13

   Backyard chickens, coyotes, brooding behavior, and rooster jokes (with real biology)

   1. JRJoe Rogan16:19

      Like, you got a exchange with these animals. Like, I have an exchange. I give the animals food. They eat the food, they lay the eggs. I'm nice to them. I come into their little caged area, they don't run from me. They come around, I give them little treats and shit.

   2. RARory Albanese16:31

      Yeah.

   3. JRJoe Rogan16:31

      They're like pets.

   4. RARory Albanese16:32

      Yeah.

   5. JRJoe Rogan16:32

      They have this really cool life, they get to wander around. Occasionally, they get jacked by coyotes.

   6. RARory Albanese16:37

      Really?

   7. JRJoe Rogan16:38

      I've had, uh, three people jacked-

   8. RARory Albanese16:40

      But how, how, how much-

   9. JRJoe Rogan16:41

      ... by coyotes.

   10. RARory Albanese16:41

       Are they... They're not, they're not in a coop?

   11. JRJoe Rogan16:43

       At least two. One of them, I'm suspicious.

   12. RARory Albanese16:46

       You don't, you don't have them in a coop?

   13. JRJoe Rogan16:47

       Man, it's a fucked up story. I've told it before, I'll, uh, briefly tell it again. My, um, mastiff got honey dicked by a female coyote.

   14. RARory Albanese16:55

       Oh, my God.

   15. JRJoe Rogan16:56

       And, uh, he thought the coyote was his buddy. And he got to... Now, this is... I should say that my gender, g-... You know, like, gender identifying with this coyote, I did not have a chance to, like, really closely examine it. I'm just being, uh...

   16. RARory Albanese17:12

       (laughs)

   17. JRJoe Rogan17:14

       It's for the, the good of the story. This is what I think. This is my theory.

   18. RARory Albanese17:17

       Mm-hmm.

   19. JRJoe Rogan17:18

       I think it's a littler coyote, and I really think it was a female. It was hanging around my house for a while, and it talked my dog into knocking down a fence. And he's huge.

   20. RARory Albanese17:26

       Okay.

   21. JRJoe Rogan17:26

       And when he got through the fence, he got to the chicken coop. And one of the chickens, uh, was doing a thing called brooding. And when they brood, they, they're convinced that if they sit on their egg, that that egg is going to turn into a chicken.

   22. RARory Albanese17:40

       Okay.

   23. JRJoe Rogan17:40

       They're fucking convinced. They just get nut.

   24. RARory Albanese17:42

       They get, they get, like, a little depressed.

   25. JRJoe Rogan17:43

       They get, they get nutty.

   26. RARory Albanese17:43

       Yeah.

   27. JRJoe Rogan17:44

       And what you have to do when they're brooding is you have to take them off of the nest and put them in a, a cage by themselves with just a perch. So they just sit on the perch for, like, a day or two-

   28. RARory Albanese17:53

       Okay.

   29. JRJoe Rogan17:53

       ... and then it leaves their system.

   30. RARory Albanese17:55

       Okay.
8. 22:13 – 27:49

   NYC roosters and gentrification: when newcomers remove the culture they came for

   1. RARory Albanese22:13

      Yeah, when I lived in the East Village in New York City, uh, back when, like, year 2000, 1999, it was a, it was, it hadn't really been like a, you know, a neighborhood, uh, that was de- gentrified or whatever you wanna call it at the time. And there was a lot of roosters in the neighborhood. Like, these parking lots, they had these, like, empty lots where there were no buildings and people just had chickens and roosters outside. So I would, I was like, I don't know, 22 years old, sleeping in my apartment in the West Village, and every mor- in the East Village, rather. And in every morning, I'd wake up to a roo- a rooster crowing, like, every morning. And then after a while, the community started hanging these signs, like, "Are you sick of the roosters?" Like, and then they, I was like, "Oh, they're turning on the dudes who own the roosters." (laughs)

   2. JRJoe Rogan22:52

      Dude.

   3. RARory Albanese22:53

      Yeah, which is just not cool 'cause it was like those guys had lived there a long time and had roosters, you know? So-

   4. JRJoe Rogan22:58

      It is something, like-

   5. RARory Albanese22:59

      ... and then the whole, there was petitions-

   6. JRJoe Rogan22:59

      ... you have to agree to that.

   7. RARory Albanese23:00

      ... petitions, petitions, petitions.

   8. JRJoe Rogan23:01

      To get rid of the roosters?

   9. RARory Albanese23:02

      Yeah, all these rooster petitions. And then over, like, maybe a year and a half, two years, there was no more roosters.

   10. JRJoe Rogan23:08

       (smacks lips) Wow.

   11. RARory Albanese23:09

       Yeah. One of those, like, like, end of an era things in New York City, where people still had, like, just wandering chickens in an empty lot that had, like, hubcaps in it and chickens, you know. (laughs)

   12. JRJoe Rogan23:19

       How come people don't understand how cool that is?

   13. RARory Albanese23:22

       I don't know. I don't know. It's like, it's like, it's like this, it's this weird thing that happens in cities where people come in and take all the culture out of it and then complain.

   14. JRJoe Rogan23:32

       Yeah.

   15. RARory Albanese23:32

       They're like, "Oh, what happened to all the culture?" It's like, 'cause you removed it. (laughs) Like, you s- you actively came in and removed it.

   16. JRJoe Rogan23:38

       Well, there isn't the problem-

   17. RARory Albanese23:38

       To make it as much of a suburban environment so you can have kids and a minivan and all the stuff you would've had in the burbs anyway. But now-

   18. JRJoe Rogan23:44

       When, when you say that, though, isn't it a problem that it's not like one individual that's doing it? It's like a whole movement of economics, right?

   19. RARory Albanese23:51

       It's a movement of economics, but there is a lot, in my opinion, of sort of community, like, activism towards co- making the community the way they envision it to be, you know?

   20. JRJoe Rogan24:02

       Right.

   21. RARory Albanese24:02

       So you end up with a lot of signs. It's like, "We're working on a tomato co-op." And you're like, uh-

   22. JRJoe Rogan24:06

       Hmm.

   23. RARory Albanese24:06

       ... well, may- you know, now it's, so now you, oh, there's a tomato co-op they're working on? I gotta get in on that. And you know, and then, like so there's a lot of like... But I'm not saying the things they're doing are bad, but they're definitely, you know, uh, there's a, there's just been a removal of a lot of that stuff. And I, and look, there's this argument about New York City that people go, "Oh, it used to be better," you know? Where it's like, no, like, it was really dangerous, (laughs) you know? Like it was necessarily better.

   24. JRJoe Rogan24:26

       Yeah.

   25. RARory Albanese24:27

       But there's, so there's an up and down to it, and-

   26. JRJoe Rogan24:28

       It's better unless you were the guy that got shot.

   27. RARory Albanese24:30

       Yeah, exactly. And like, and then there's the other part, which is you can... I look at cities like this as like you're always building something on top of something else that was already there.

   28. JRJoe Rogan24:39

       Yeah.

   29. RARory Albanese24:39

       So what, to us is like, "I can't believe that hardware store went out of business." It's like, yeah, well, maybe my grandfather goes, "I can't believe they're putting a hardware store in where, like, the horseshoe guy used to be," you know? (laughs)

   30. JRJoe Rogan24:47

       (laughs)
9. 27:49 – 38:27

   Language policing and political correctness: the ‘auction’ taboo and shifting slang

   1. RARory Albanese27:49

      You know? There's always gonna be a pushback on that one where you go, "Look, like, I don't want to offend anybody, but li-"... You know, and I do agree that, like, there's a movement by the left that really does push... Uh, you know, I was... I did a thing, the reason I'm doing this, uh, charity event, um, for, uh, like, an urban p- program for kids, um, mainly inner city Black kids. And I'm hosting it with my, uh, my buddy, Mike Yard. He's a really funny comic, Black dude. And we went to meet with the guys, uh, for this charity, and they were telling us that, uh, you know, we're... they have an auction. Like, at, at, at an NHRA event, right? An auctioneer comes out and they au- try to auction off and raise a lot of money from rich people-

   2. JRJoe Rogan28:25

      Right.

   3. RARory Albanese28:25

      ... to help the program. That's a very m- m- basically 99.9% of every charity event I've ever been involved is, has an auction segment in the, in the dinner.

   4. JRJoe Rogan28:33

      Right.

   5. RARory Albanese28:34

      They were like, "We're gonna have that, but we can't use the word auction." I said, "What, what do you mean you can't use the word auction?" They're like, "It's a sensitive word for, you know, the community." And I was like... And then Yard goes, "Are you talking about slave auctions?" (laughs) Like, like, his head almost exploded.

   6. JRJoe Rogan28:52

      Oh my God.

   7. RARory Albanese28:52

      He was like, "Wait, we can't..." Y- You know, and I was like, "Wait, we can't say the word auction?" I'm like, "But aren't you hiring a guy from Sotheby's?" "Yeah." "His card's gonna say auctioneer on it."

   8. JRJoe Rogan29:00

      Oh my God.

   9. RARory Albanese29:01

      "Like, we're just gonna pretend that's not what he's called?" And they were just like, "We just don't feel comfortable with that word in the room."

   10. JRJoe Rogan29:06

       (laughs)

   11. RARory Albanese29:07

       And I was just going, "I can't..." I c- I said, "Guys, I gotta tell you, like, you're making me wanna vote for Trump." That's what I said to them.

   12. JRJoe Rogan29:13

       (laughs)

   13. RARory Albanese29:13

       Y- I said, "That's how dumb I think this is."

   14. JRJoe Rogan29:16

       Oh my God.

   15. RARory Albanese29:16

       I'm like, "I'll agree to it 'cause I wanna help these kids, but this is one of the dumbest things I've ever heard."

   16. JRJoe Rogan29:20

       Wow.

   17. RARory Albanese29:20

       Yeah, I couldn't believe it. I was like, "Can I say cotton? Am I allowed to say cotton?"

   18. JRJoe Rogan29:24

       (laughs)

   19. RARory Albanese29:24

       Like, what other words can I say? That's the dumbest thing I ever heard. You're gonna get triggered-

   20. JRJoe Rogan29:28

       Auctions.

   21. RARory Albanese29:29

       Yeah.

   22. JRJoe Rogan29:29

       Auctions.

   23. RARory Albanese29:30

       We're not gonna make a jo- like, we're not gonna joke around about, like, auctioning off a Black person. Al- al- although, Yard and I probably would have.

   24. JRJoe Rogan29:37

       But first of all, like, when you say auction, you automatically think of that voice, think of that voice, think of that voice.

   25. RARory Albanese29:41

       Totally.

   26. JRJoe Rogan29:41

       (sings) 701, 701, 701. Do you think they did that with au- when they were doing that with slaves? I do not think they talked like that.

   27. RARory Albanese29:47

       I don't know what their technique was, but I do know when I think of the word auction-

   28. JRJoe Rogan29:51

       Yeah.

   29. RARory Albanese29:51

       ... I'm not like, "Oh, don't say that."

   30. JRJoe Rogan29:53

       It's a new... It's a different thing.
10. 38:27 – 41:25

    Abortion, moral frameworks, and the missing ‘rational center’ in U.S. politics

    1. JRJoe Rogan38:27

       But if you were on th- the side of the people that are anti-abortion, there's one side of you that has to logically interpret that if these people really did feel like babies were being murdered, like it was their perspective that babies were being murdered, if you completely ignore that perspective and just try to say it's a woman's health issue-

    2. RARory Albanese38:46

       Yeah.

    3. JRJoe Rogan38:47

       And I- like, I get- I almost get where their mind is at.

    4. RARory Albanese38:51

       (laughs)

    5. JRJoe Rogan38:51

       I don't think that they should be interfering in anybody's life, especially when something is legal and people have already voted on it like abortion.

    6. RARory Albanese38:56

       Yeah, and they- and they fundamentally believe that's what's happening and you could see how-

    7. JRJoe Rogan38:59

       Yeah, don't interfere.

    8. RARory Albanese39:00

       ... if you thought babies were being killed up the street, you'd be like-

    9. JRJoe Rogan39:02

       Right. Right.

    10. RARory Albanese39:02

        ... "We can't allow this to happen." But what I'm saying is-

    11. JRJoe Rogan39:04

        But they'll tell you that they are babies.

    12. RARory Albanese39:07

        Yeah.

    13. JRJoe Rogan39:07

        And the- the problem with that argument is it's- it holds some water.

    14. RARory Albanese39:11

        Sure.

    15. JRJoe Rogan39:12

        Like, you really have to... I mean, as- if you're gonna be a rational person, and I'm 100% pro-choice, but as a rational person, you have to look at what it actually is. If you don't, well then we're playing a game. The game is, you want your side to be correct. But the reality is, this is a very complicated, weird thing.

    16. RARory Albanese39:29

        Yeah.

    17. JRJoe Rogan39:29

        There's like a- a life in your body. And for sure, a guy shouldn't be able to tell a girl what she can do.

    18. RARory Albanese39:34

        Totally agree with that.

    19. JRJoe Rogan39:34

        You can't- you can't tell a woman she has to keep it. People have already aborted babies, there's a precedent for it. You can't tell them what they can do.

    20. RARory Albanese39:40

        All you can do is support their decision.

    21. JRJoe Rogan39:42

        Or offer-

    22. RARory Albanese39:42

        You can weigh in. I think if you're their dad, you can weigh in on what you want. But at the end of the day, it's- she's gonna decide what she wants to do and you just gotta agree with it.

    23. JRJoe Rogan39:49

        Yeah.

    24. RARory Albanese39:49

        I think that's the move.

    25. JRJoe Rogan39:51

        I think, you know, it's just- it's a very complicated thing. The- like, a life form that will eventually become a person is inside your body. What do you do? Like can you imagine if we had to make that decision?

    26. RARory Albanese40:05

        Yeah.

    27. JRJoe Rogan40:05

        'Cause we're lucky that chicks do it, 'cause we don't think correctly for that-

    28. RARory Albanese40:09

        No.

    29. JRJoe Rogan40:09

        ... for that proposition.

    30. RARory Albanese40:10

        We have no ability to do- weigh those options. But I- I do think that the, uh, the, you know, the- when I think about that, I agree with you and I- and I think most (laughs) issues in the country are like that.
11. 41:25 – 53:25

    CIA ‘cowboys,’ Iran-Contra echoes, and how bad intel can start real wars

    1. RARory Albanese41:25

       I mean, did you watch that- I just watched it the other night, that Tom Cruise movie, American Made?

    2. JRJoe Rogan41:29

       No, I did not, but I know what it's about.

    3. RARory Albanese41:31

       It's- it's- it's-

    4. JRJoe Rogan41:32

       I know the story.

    5. RARory Albanese41:32

       ... the first good Tom Cruise movie he's had out in a couple years.

    6. JRJoe Rogan41:35

       Really?

    7. RARory Albanese41:35

       Yeah, 'cause he's like kind of a dark character. He's not like a hero. He's just-

    8. JRJoe Rogan41:38

       I know Barry-

    9. RARory Albanese41:39

       He's like a-

    10. JRJoe Rogan41:39

        ... the Barry Seal story.

    11. RARory Albanese41:40

        Yeah, it's- well, the story. So it's- it's- he's- you know. It's a- he's a- like a shi- a pilot who basically like, you know, the CIA was like, "Hey. Uh, you're a really good pilot and we need a guy to like bring some guns to the..." It's all- i- uh, the precursor of the Iran-Contra thing.

    12. JRJoe Rogan41:56

        Yeah.

    13. RARory Albanese41:56

        Which, as a kid I remember hearing all about, but then understanding it at a better level, which was us trying to arm rebels which we've been doing for... We armed bin Laden against the Russians. We've been arming rebels for a long time.

    14. JRJoe Rogan42:06

        Yeah, that's our move, right?

    15. RARory Albanese42:06

        Yeah, big time. And, uh-

    16. JRJoe Rogan42:08

        Bring back the gang.

    17. RARory Albanese42:08

        Yeah. And then, uh, so he became the dude the CIA asked to do that. And he was like, "You gotta pay me more money." And the guy was like, "You'll figure it out." And then all of a sudden (laughs) it became he would land and bring the guns and the dudes would be like, "Hey, we want you to bring," uh, an, uh, uh, Escobar and his crew, or like Pablo Escobar, were like, "Hey, as long as you're bringing us guns, we also want you on your flight home to bring, uh, 1,500 pounds of cocaine (laughs) into your airplane." (laughs) And then he was like, "Uh, I'm not gonna do that. No thanks." And they were like, "Uh, $2,000," uh, you know, "$2,000 a kilo." And he was like, "How many kilos in 1,500 pounds?" And it became like wha- and he became like this insane two-way smuggler. He was smuggling guns in and drugs out, guns in and drugs out.

    18. JRJoe Rogan42:46

        (sighs)

    19. RARory Albanese42:46

        It's a really interesting story.

    20. JRJoe Rogan42:48

        What do you think happens today? Do you think that stuff like that is still going on today? Or do you think that this- when it happened, like, they figured out that it was a bunch of cowboys, like CIA operatives that were just trying to make some money on the side? Or do you think it's like a systematic...

    21. RARory Albanese43:04

        I think that it's like... Uh, I- I think that it's human error. I think that like people...... that's why I'm not like a big conspiracy theorist, 'cause it's like, I don't think the government's organized enough.

    22. JRJoe Rogan43:15

        Right.

    23. RARory Albanese43:15

        It's always weird to me when people who think the government sucks, who want small government, they want the government... "We don't, the government mishandles everything. They don't know how to do this, they don't know how to do this. They can't magic- imagine, uh, you know, manage traffic lights." Whatever they think the government can't do. "They can't do healthcare. Uh, they're idiots, they're idiots. Private sector." And then they're like, "But there's a giant government conspiracy, where all the government knows this thing." And I'm like, "If they can't fucking manage traffic lights, how are they pulling off, like, a fake moon landing or whatever?" (laughs) You know? It's like-

    24. JRJoe Rogan43:43

        Well, when you-

    25. RARory Albanese43:44

        ... that kinda stuff, to me, it's like you're- you're- you're perpetuating two very different views of an extremely competent clandestine group of people who can achieve these, like, dark shadowy things without anyone knowing, or bumbling morons. But they're the same people. They're government workers. So, I don't know. I think some CIA oper... Like, the, like, the story behind going into Iraq is interesting. Like, a CIA operative had a theory about we- where bin L- I mean, uh, Os- uh, not Osama, the other, fucking other dude.

    26. JRJoe Rogan44:11

        Saddam Hussein?

    27. RARory Albanese44:12

        Saddam Hussein had, uh, had weapons of mass destruction. He had a theory, and he was a analyst at the CIA and he wrote up this whole document. And they read it and they were like, "Yeah, this is bullshit. Like, we have no proof of any of this. Thank you." And he was so mad they did that, that he published it on the internet, just leaked it to the internet. And then that story got on the internet, and then a dude in Australia who was a f- spy... No, well, like a guy from Australia, uh, and- and another guy from Afghanistan or Iraq read it on the internet, came to America and said, "I have all the secrets of what he's doing." And he just used that guy's document that he read online-

    28. JRJoe Rogan44:49

        Jesus.

    29. RARory Albanese44:50

        ... and told the CIA. And then the guy came in and he goes, "He has weapons here, weapons here, weapons here." And then that analyst goes, "Holy shit, I was right." Meanwhile, he's quoting him his own report.

    30. JRJoe Rogan45:00

        Oh, my God.
12. 53:25 – 1:01:10

    Ancient mega-structures, lost technology, and why ‘aliens’ remains tempting

    1. JRJoe Rogan53:25

       That's still to me ... If I had one time in like ... If you could go back in a time machine and go to one place in history and see something, I think I would, it would have to be Egypt while they were building the pyramids.

    2. RARory Albanese53:36

       Mm-hmm.

    3. JRJoe Rogan53:36

       I would just love to see what that culture was like.

    4. RARory Albanese53:39

       Yeah.

    5. JRJoe Rogan53:39

       It's so hard to tell. I mean, you look at all the stone and everything, right? Even if you were standing there or ... I mean, I've never been to Egypt but I've been to Chichen Itza, and it's kind of the same feeling you get, where you're like, "What was it like?" Like when, when this place was popping.

    6. RARory Albanese53:51

       Yup.

    7. JRJoe Rogan53:51

       Like what did this feel like? What was this ... These people have built these crazy structures. Like what was a normal day for them?

    8. RARory Albanese53:57

       Uh, you know, it's funny. I had the, uh ... I didn't realize ... I watched a documentary about the pyramids and not the, uh, not the one ... What, what's the, uh, aliens and-

    9. JRJoe Rogan54:07

       Which one?

    10. RARory Albanese54:08

        Nazis and ali- ... What, what, what, what's that one on like ... With the, with the guy with the crazy hair?

    11. JRJoe Rogan54:11

        Oh.

    12. RARory Albanese54:12

        He's in some-

    13. JRJoe Rogan54:12

        Oh, oh. Ancient aliens.

    14. RARory Albanese54:13

        Yeah. And, and i- i-

    15. JRJoe Rogan54:14

        Giorgio.

    16. RARory Albanese54:15

        And he's-

    17. JRJoe Rogan54:15

        Shout out to Giorgio Tsoukalos.

    18. RARory Albanese54:17

        Yeah, and he's ... It's like, "Ancient astronaut theorists-"

    19. JRJoe Rogan54:19

        Yeah.

    20. RARory Albanese54:20

        "... surmise," you know. (laughs)

    21. JRJoe Rogan54:21

        Well, those aren't real people.

    22. RARory Albanese54:22

        That's not really a sentence, you know. (laughs)

    23. JRJoe Rogan54:24

        (laughs) He's fairly reasonable when you talk to him.

    24. RARory Albanese54:26

        Sure, but, but-

    25. JRJoe Rogan54:26

        Giorgio is just a lover of, uh, all possibilities UFO.

    26. RARory Albanese54:30

        That's an hour's worth of a show. They've, uh, they're on like season 11.

    27. JRJoe Rogan54:33

        Oh, they're season 89 right now.

    28. RARory Albanese54:34

        They're still like, they're fucking, they're skimping now.

    29. JRJoe Rogan54:36

        I watched that show.

    30. RARory Albanese54:36

        You know, it's not ... The first one with like the Nazca Lines.

Episode duration: 3:04:55