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The Joe Rogan ExperienceThe Joe Rogan Experience

Joe Rogan Experience #1090 - Andrew Santino

Andrew Santino is a stand up comedian and actor. You can also see him the show "I'm Dying Up Here" on SHOWTIME.

Joe RoganhostAndrew SantinoguestGuestguest
Mar 14, 20183h 8mWatch on YouTube ↗

EVERY SPOKEN WORD

  1. 0:01 – 2:33

    Cold open banter + Craig Mack tribute and YouTube takedown worries

    1. JR

      That was ... You looked at that and went, "This is the move."

    2. AS

      Point break.

    3. (laughs)

    4. JR

      Cupcake shirt.

    5. AS

      Point bake.

    6. Point break.

    7. JR

      Are we working?

    8. AS

      Yeah.

    9. JR

      Is it working?

    10. AS

      Yeah. What's up? Sorry.

    11. JR

      Are we live?

    12. AS

      Yeah, yeah.

    13. (laughs)

    14. JR

      Okay. (laughs)

    15. AS

      I was like ... We were talking here because I go ... Yeah.

    16. (laughs)

    17. JR

      I was like, "What's he doing?" You're like, "Yep, yeah, yeah."

    18. AS

      So, we're there. We're there, we're there, we're there.

    19. JR

      We, I wish we could start this show off with Flavor In Your Ear. Would we get kicked off of YouTube? Craig Mack died.

    20. AS

      Oh, man.

    21. Yeah, that's a, that's just a shout-out.

    22. JR

      I know. I, I feel like we should be able to just as a-

    23. AS

      << I'm kicking new <<Shout-out>> Flavor In Your Ear >>...

    24. JR

      ... as a shout-out. That was a great fucking song, man.

    25. AS

      Man, it was such a good song.

    26. JR

      Dude was only 46.

    27. AS

      What was that? I didn't even see what he died of.

    28. JR

      Heart attack.

    29. AS

      Was it?

    30. JR

      Yeah, heart failure, 46. Fuck, man.

  2. 2:33 – 5:36

    Boyle Heights backlash: gentrification, protest tactics, and ‘acceptable’ racism

    1. JR

      Um, I went down an internet rabbit hole last night, man. It was a very disturbing one. Do you know anything what's going on in Boyle Heights?

    2. AS

      No.

    3. JR

      Boyle Heights is-

    4. AS

      East LA, right?

    5. JR

      Yeah, it's East LA.

    6. AS

      Yeah.

    7. JR

      And, um, apparently the hipsters are starting to open up artisanal coffee shops and art galleries there.

    8. AS

      Yeah.

    9. JR

      And they're not having it. And, uh, it's-

    10. AS

      So, the, the neighborhood's pushing back.

    11. JR

      It's more than that. There's a lot of videos. It's, like, straight up racist. It's anti-white racism, which is apparently t- totally acceptable, even if cameras are blaring in your face. Uh, will Boyle Heights be ruined by one coffee shop? Um, it's not just one coffee shop. They, they forced a gallery under ... Is this an older story?

    12. AS

      It's from June, so it's been a little while ago.

    13. JR

      Yeah. They forced a gallery out just through constant harassment. And they, they broke the windows of this coffee shop and ... But what I watched last night that was disturbing was these, air quote, "activists" standing in front of this gallery. It's a fucking art gallery. And they're screaming, "Get the fuck out! Get the fuck out of our neighborhood! Get the fuck out!"

    14. AS

      (laughs)

    15. JR

      "We don't want you here!" And the guy was, like, trying to talk to them like, you know, some hipster guys, like, you know, "I'm, I identify as a feminist," like one of those guys.

    16. AS

      I identify as a feminist.

    17. JR

      (laughs) You know, one of those guys. And he was like-

    18. AS

      I'm on your side, man.

    19. JR

      He's like, "Yes, I'm here to support, I'm here to support the community." "We don't fucking want you!"

    20. AS

      (laughs)

    21. JR

      "Get the fuck out! Get the fuck out!"

    22. AS

      (laughs)

    23. JR

      And then they're chanting, "Get the fuck out! Get the fuck out!"

    24. AS

      It's a great chant. Get the fuck out's a great chant though.

    25. JR

      They put up a sign that says, "Fuck white art." White.

    26. AS

      (laughs)

    27. JR

      "Fuck white art." The coffee shop, they broke the windows. See, the, the coffee shop is even more fucked up because one of the guys is actually a Mexican.

    28. AS

      So they fucked up properly.

    29. JR

      Or at least Latino. Yeah.

    30. AS

      They fucked up ... They fucked up proper- ... Okay, right.

  3. 5:36 – 8:06

    LA housing sticker shock: Santa Monica prices, duplex flips, and tiny-house fantasies

    1. JR

      Yeah. It'll take 15 more years, but they know it's coming. They know what, what happens in these neighborhoods. It's like these hipsters move in first because LA real estate is so ridiculous.

    2. AS

      It's insane.

    3. JR

      It doesn't make ... Like, I was looking at, uh, places near where Kallen lives.

    4. AS

      Mm-hmm.

    5. JR

      Kallen lives in Santa Monica. And I was looking at places like-

    6. AS

      He lives above ground?

    7. JR

      Yes.

    8. AS

      (laughs)

    9. JR

      I know, right?

    10. AS

      I thought he lived in, like, the sewer system-

    11. JR

      Dude.

    12. AS

      ... or something like that.

    13. JR

      (laughs) Like, like one of them Ninja Turtles.

    14. AS

      I thought he was ... (laughs) I thought he was a turtle.... that can live underneath a sewer system. (laughs)

    15. JR

      (laughs) He lives in a very nice neighborhood. I mean, I'm not ... But I was just looking in Santa Monica in general, and a regular house, like a regular house is $2 million.

    16. AS

      Yeah. A, a, a-

    17. JR

      It's-

    18. AS

      ... bullshit house. Like, just a-

    19. JR

      It's a fucking normal house-house.

    20. AS

      Yeah, just a home.

    21. JR

      Yeah. And not, nothing like you'd be like, you bring a, a gal back home like, "Hey, what's up?"

    22. AS

      "My house, huh?"

    23. JR

      You know, "Look at the view of the city." No, there's none of that, bro.

    24. AS

      No. (laughs) No.

    25. JR

      For $2 million, you get a shack.

    26. AS

      Two bed, one and a half bath.

    27. JR

      Yeah, with fucking old bullshit linoleum. (laughs)

    28. AS

      (laughs) Yeah.

    29. JR

      Shitty sink with the ring where the fucking wa- ... The dirt was mar-

    30. AS

      Has just stayed.

  4. 8:06 – 10:15

    ‘Life Below Zero’ and rugged living: survival TV, wolves, and reality-show staging

    1. JR

      You know, there's a show that I'm addicted to, it's called Life Below Zero. I watched three episodes the other day.

    2. AS

      What, is it the people in Alaska?

    3. JR

      Yeah, yeah, yeah.

    4. AS

      I love that show.

    5. JR

      I watched two episodes, uh, uh, the other day and one actually yesterday. But the one I watched yesterday, uh, there's this dude who lives in a place called ... I think it's called Shandilar. It's way above the Arctic Circle.

    6. AS

      Right.

    7. JR

      And this fucking guy lives by himself. And apparently he used to be married and he has kids somewhere.

    8. AS

      (laughs)

    9. JR

      Uh, yeah, his name's Glen, Glen Vilnew or something like that.

    10. AS

      Shout out to Glen.

    11. JR

      Smart dude too, which is weird. He, he-

    12. AS

      He lives solo.

    13. JR

      So low.

    14. AS

      No one's around him.

    15. JR

      He lives in a room not even half the ... That's, that's homeboy right there.

    16. AS

      Ty.

    17. JR

      He lives in a room not even half the size of this studio. And he just has a bunch of shit like stacked in that room. Like, maybe it's like ... I'm, I'm exaggerating. Maybe it's half the size.

    18. GU

      No.

    19. JR

      That's his tent.

    20. AS

      Above the Arctic Circle.

    21. JR

      Oh, is he naked there?

    22. GU

      Yeah, it says his sauna.

    23. JR

      Can we see his ho- his hog?

    24. AS

      The show is diesel, dude.

    25. GU

      It's a 30 feet. It's 30 feet.

    26. JR

      See, the ... Here's the thing about these things, like you gotta realize that on these shows, there's a lot of the stuff they do is just bullshit. They just do it for camera.

    27. AS

      Totally.

    28. JR

      Like, "What, what would be good in an episode today?" "Well, maybe I could make my own sauna." "Yeah, make a sauna, dude."

    29. AS

      Perfect.

    30. JR

      Like, would he be really be making a sauna? I don't know. But what this guy does is just, he goes out and shoots moose and caribou. He eats almost exclusively meat. He lives where there's fucking no plants. I mean, there's trees-

  5. 10:15 – 13:40

    Dogs and control: aggressive pets, owner responsibility, and Whitney Cummings’ training rules

    1. JR

      Do you know ferrets were illegal in some places for a while as pets?

    2. AS

      Too much anal.

    3. JR

      What?

    4. AS

      People were shoving them up their ass.

    5. JR

      There's, there's the hawk. I don't think that's ferrets. Look at him with a hawk on his hand. Is that an eagle? What is that?

    6. AS

      Why ... L- look that up. Why do people ... Why were f- ferrets illegal? I got know.

    7. JR

      I think they thought they were aggressive, which is hilarious when you think about how many dogs people have that are just ridiculously aggressive.

    8. AS

      Bite peoples' faces off and shit.

    9. JR

      Dude, I, I had a fucking golden retriever attack my golden retriever and bite his face when we were on a run the other day.

    10. AS

      What do you do?

    11. JR

      Just ... I just pulled them apart and yelled at the guy to control his fucking dogs.

    12. AS

      And what does he do?

    13. JR

      The guy was so weak. Like, he ... The, the dog pulled and the guy comically fell to his ass-

    14. AS

      (laughs)

    15. JR

      ... feet up in the air from a dog. I mean, it's a 70-pound dog. It's a ... Not a big dog.

    16. AS

      And it yanked him right out?

    17. JR

      And he said like, the dog's a problem. It, it bites things and tries to bite people. I'm like, "Well, you got a bad dog, man. Put a fucking muzzle on it or something."

    18. AS

      Yeah. Figure it out.

    19. JR

      But he, he can't even hold the dog. Like, there's people that have animals that they're just hoping nothing goes wrong. They have zero control over that thing.

    20. AS

      Right.

    21. JR

      And this thing pulled and this guy like, whoop, feet went flying.

    22. AS

      Like a cartoon.

    23. JR

      He was so weak. And then when I separated the dogs, he tried to pull the dog back. He couldn't pull the dog back. I'm like, "Come on, man." Like, "You shouldn't have this dog."

    24. GU

      (laughs)

    25. JR

      It's not even a big dog.

    26. AS

      Such an-

    27. JR

      You should get a fucking Chihuahua.

    28. AS

      That's an emasculating moment for a guy to like have another man be like, "Hey."

    29. JR

      Yeah.

    30. AS

      "What are you doing, guy?"

  6. 13:40 – 18:25

    Puppy reality check: crates, potty training, and city living with big dogs

    1. AS

      But a pup, but a puppy's an asshole, by the way. Puppies are assholes.

    2. JR

      S- puppies are assholes?

    3. AS

      Oh, so hard to deal with, man.

    4. JR

      Really?

    5. AS

      Waking up in the middle of the night pissing and sh- wanting to piss like every two hours.

    6. JR

      They're babies.

    7. AS

      Yep, I know. I know. I know, trust me. I was, I've l- I learned fast that I was like...

    8. JR

      (laughs)

    9. AS

      I was like, "It'll sleep a little bit in the night."

    10. JR

      When was the last time you had a dog?

    11. AS

      Years ago.

    12. JR

      Do you have crates? Do you keep 'em in crates?

    13. AS

      Yeah, a crate, yeah.

    14. JR

      Yeah, you gotta keep 'em in crates.

    15. AS

      The crate's there.

    16. JR

      They don't mind. That's the thing. Like, they go, "Oh, you're putting your dog in a cage?"

    17. AS

      No, they like it.

    18. JR

      They like it. It's comforting.

    19. AS

      Yeah, they, yeah, 'cause they feel like, well, even when-

    20. JR

      Yeah.

    21. AS

      ... she, even when she shits, she finds a thing that, that feels like it's covering her.

    22. JR

      Mm-hmm.

    23. AS

      She likes to be, like, covered when she shit.

    24. JR

      Yeah.

    25. AS

      I mean, she's a lady, first of all, you know?

    26. JR

      Of course.

    27. AS

      She wants to, she wants to hide her shit.

    28. JR

      Of course.

    29. AS

      But w- same thing. When she goes in the crate, she likes it when my shirt's on top of it because it's, like, it feels like it's a ca- little cave.

    30. JR

      You know what's the most bizarre to me, is people in New York City who live in these little ass apartments stacked on top of each other and they have dogs.

  7. 18:25 – 24:13

    Float tanks, cryotherapy, and pushing limits: Wim Hof breathing and cold exposure risks

    1. JR

      I got this big old house. I'm living by myself. I'm like, "Let's have some fun." And he actually used my isolation tank to get over his breakup.Really? Yeah, he got in that tank every day. He would smoke weed and get in the tank and think about life. And just, and just, and just let it sit. And, and realized and- Yeah. ... wrote a journal and then left it behind, so I've read every page of it.

    2. AS

      (laughs)

    3. JR

      Called him up and I was like, "Dude, what is all this gay shit? What is this? What do you got here?"

    4. AS

      (laughs)

    5. JR

      First couple of pages, "I love anal. I want-"

    6. AS

      Like, "No! Did I really leave that?"

    7. JR

      Yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't mind if I put it online, right?

    8. AS

      (laughs) Page for page.

    9. JR

      For th- is his day... I don't know where that is. Might have got lost in one of my moves. Might just turn up somewhere.

    10. AS

      I was gonna say, you should do a time release, like every day a new page gets released online.

    11. JR

      It wasn't really that bad. It was just him, you know, like getting out of the tank and just sort- sorting his head out and writing it down.

    12. AS

      What's the first thing you think of when you get out of the tank?

    13. JR

      Oh, it's very different every time. I mean, most of the time when I get in the tank I'm just trying to chill out. (sighs) I've always ha- I always have so many plates spinning.

    14. AS

      Yeah.

    15. JR

      You know? And there's, like, so many different things I'm always thinking about, like there's podcasts, who's the future guests, when am I doing standup? What, what bit am I working on?

    16. AS

      Right.

    17. JR

      What's go- Oh, the UFC is coming up. Like, oh, have I watched this guy fight before? I gotta make sure that I, you know, get my, my, my views in on different styles and stuff. And have my ideas about what I think about these match-ups and really get a good-

    18. AS

      You don't sleep, you don't sleep.

    19. JR

      I sleep.

    20. AS

      You sleep in there?

    21. JR

      Like, uh... No, in the tank?

    22. AS

      Yeah.

    23. JR

      Oh, no. No, I don't sleep in there.

    24. AS

      Can people sleep in the tank?

    25. JR

      Uh, yes, you definitely can. I would imagine that your own snores, though, would echo off the walls a little bit and maybe that would wake you up. But I'm sure I've passed out in there before. I'm sure I have. Over the many years that I've been doing it. I first got one 16 years ago.

    26. AS

      Holy shit.

    27. JR

      Yeah, that's when I first got a tank. I got one in 2002.

    28. AS

      That's wild.

    29. JR

      Yeah.

    30. AS

      Do you do the cryo freeze too?

  8. 24:13 – 25:53

    Gout, kings, and ‘Vikings’: power, hierarchy, and why people obey rulers

    1. AS

      You learn that kind of stuff, like, of, of how, how quickly things happen when, like... Like, my college roommate had gout.

    2. JR

      Ooh.

    3. AS

      Do you know what I mean? Where, like, blood turns around?

    4. JR

      My friend Jeff had that.

    5. AS

      That's crazy.

    6. JR

      Serious shit.

    7. AS

      So, like, it's, it's your... It's, like, your fingers or your hands. Anything where blood has, like, a long-

    8. JR

      It's his feet.

    9. AS

      Yeah, feet. It's usually legs and feet.

    10. JR

      Yeah.

    11. AS

      And I never understood it 'til I looked it up when he had it. And I was like, "How do you get gout?" And everything online is like, "50 plus is at risk." You know, like, high blood pressure, da-da-da. I mean, this kid was 20 years old.

    12. JR

      Jesus.

    13. AS

      Shouldn't have had it.

    14. JR

      You know, they call it king's disease.

    15. AS

      Yeah, 'cause they were fat and ate and drank all day.

    16. JR

      They just drink wine and their feet would go numb. (laughs)

    17. AS

      All day. (laughs) You know how fucking awesome that is?

    18. JR

      Well, especially when everybody else is starving.

    19. AS

      ... people are like, "Please, sir."

    20. JR

      Yeah.

    21. AS

      It's like, "Nah."

    22. JR

      How, how do you-

    23. AS

      "Just let me rest my swollen-"

    24. JR

      ... how do you rest-

    25. AS

      "... dead feet on your head?"

    26. JR

      I've been watching Vikings. I get into that show Vikings. I'm in Season 2 now.

    27. AS

      I've never seen it.

    28. JR

      Pretty goddamn good show.

    29. AS

      It's good?

    30. JR

      I was super skeptical. People tell me it was good. I was like, "It's on regular TV. How the fuck can it be any good?"

  9. 25:53 – 33:26

    Trump clips and online outrage culture: labeling, ‘Nazi’ discourse, and hate-speech boundaries

    1. JR

      ... oh. Dude, uh, did you see the video of Trump, uh, talking about taxes?

    2. AS

      Uh-

    3. JR

      Dude, what he said, uh-

    4. AS

      If I can, if I can check it, have one guy say-

    5. JR

      Listen, motherfuckers, yeah.

    6. AS

      ... "I'm gonna charge you 25% more."

    7. JR

      Let's play it.

    8. AS

      Yeah. (laughs)

    9. JR

      Play it. It's on my Instagram.

    10. AS

      It's a great clip. It's-

    11. JR

      This-

    12. AS

      I sent it out yesterday.

    13. JR

      ... it is fucking amazing that that's the pri- there is two parts of me, man. There's one part of me that loves this.

    14. AS

      Oh, dude, I love it.

    15. JR

      There's one, one part of me that's going, "Ha ha!"

    16. AS

      (laughs) It's great material.

    17. JR

      'Cause I, there's so many fakes and phonies and ridiculous career politicians that have to watch this guy-

    18. AS

      Yeah.

    19. JR

      ... say, "Listen, motherfuckers, you're gonna pay 25% taxes," and everybody goes crazy-

    20. AS

      Right.

    21. JR

      ... and cheers.

    22. AS

      Yeah.

    23. JR

      'Cause, like, they can't believe he's really saying it.

    24. AS

      But it's the stuff that they would say too if they didn't have any reservations.

    25. JR

      Well, it's maybe, but-

    26. AS

      I think a lot of those guys-

    27. JR

      ... they're so far gone.

    28. AS

      ... are just like that.

    29. JR

      Let's play it because it's hilarious.

    30. NA

      Well, what would you do? What can you do? So easy.

  10. 33:26 – 36:50

    Trans issues, dating preferences, and ‘The future is female’: satire about identity politics

    1. AS

      But that's, that's... By the way, I played, uh, I played golf with a buddy at the country club that, uh, Caitlyn Jenner belongs to. My first question, "Does, does she hit from the women's tees or the men's tees?" And the guy with me goes, "She hits from the women's tees." I'm like, "Bullshit." See, that's bullshit.

    2. JR

      Is it bullshit?

    3. AS

      Yeah, dude, because you, you, you're a fucking Olympian. You, you were, you still-

    4. JR

      What's the difference between the women's tees-

    5. AS

      'Cause you still-

    6. JR

      ... and the men's tees?

    7. AS

      I mean, like-

    8. JR

      Distance?

    9. AS

      30, 40 yards. Yeah.

    10. JR

      Oh.

    11. AS

      Yeah.

    12. JR

      That's like doing those push-ups on your knees.

    13. AS

      Bullshit.

    14. JR

      Yeah. Get on your toes, bitch.

    15. AS

      But, but wait a minute. He used t-... Uh, she wa-... She had, she has man-structured muscle.

    16. JR

      No.

    17. AS

      That didn't go away.

    18. JR

      That's all gone. Yeah.

    19. AS

      No way.

    20. JR

      There's no muscle. There's no muscle left.

    21. AS

      She's still pretty fucking jacked.

    22. JR

      Not really, man. I saw re-

    23. AS

      No?

    24. JR

      No. I'm gonna be honest. I don't think she works out at all. And she's old already, so it's not like her body has any reserves.

    25. AS

      I still say you go back to the men's tees. But she still has a dick, right?

    26. JR

      Nope. She had the operation.

    27. AS

      Cut it off. It's gone.

    28. JR

      Holla.

    29. AS

      Is it gone?

    30. JR

      Yes, sir.

  11. 36:50 – 48:07

    Film/TV detours: Javier Bardem, ‘gay Frankenstein’ jokes, and the Paterno/Sandusky rabbit hole

    1. JR

      That's the guy from Drag Me to Hell, right? No, what was the movie he was in?

    2. AS

      What was his name? Justin Long?

    3. GU

      Justin Long.

    4. JR

      What was that movie he was in? He was in a great fucking horror movie, like a real classic, campy horror movie.

    5. GU

      Oh, he was in The...

    6. AS

      ... Kevin Smith's one.

    7. JR

      No, no, no, no.

    8. AS

      See that, uh-

    9. JR

      He was in Tusk, right.

    10. AS

      Yeah, yeah.

    11. JR

      But that's not the one I'm talking about.

    12. AS

      Right.

    13. JR

      There was one that he was in g- put up, pull back up with that.

    14. AS

      I was gonna keep, like-

    15. By the way, right though, that is funny. I forgot about those ads. That's how long ago that was.

    16. JR

      I've been r- using Windows to write lately. I use Windows 10. It's fucking great. There's nothing wrong with it. Like, Windows 10 is, uh, in my opinion-

    17. AS

      (laughs)

    18. JR

      ... just as good-

    19. AS

      Nerd pretty boy.

    20. JR

      ... oh, they're, they're arguing with each other. Mac versus PC. Windows 10 is just as good as, uh, as Mac.

    21. AS

      Yeah.

    22. JR

      Like, in terms of like... It's a little different, but it doesn't crash. I don't, I'm not having any problems with it. It works great.

    23. AS

      Uh, but I'm not even gonna lie, I'm not gonna be one of these people. You know, like, like, like, like, James is a f- a fucking tech genius. He knows-

    24. JR

      He's a wizard.

    25. AS

      Yeah. He's a, he's a genius. I... When someone, when someone says the accusative of like, "Why do you have a Mac?" And someone goes, "Well, dude, it's great for the arts and it does this and this." I don't even lie. I go, "Dude, I'd still-"

    26. We just Cheaper, Creepers.

    27. ... Cheapest, Creepers.

    28. JR

      No.

    29. AS

      No.

    30. JR

      He was in that, but there was another one.

  12. 48:07 – 53:11

    Wilderness mortality + animal reality: missing people, scavengers, coyotes, and the chicken coop chaos

    1. JR

      Do you know how many people disappear in the woods every year? Thousands. In, in North America.

    2. AS

      But a guy this prominent in his, like, in his work and in his life that has, like, that many... He's got too many trails, do you know what I mean?

    3. JR

      Mini Cooper.

    4. AS

      That was it.

    5. JR

      He's in that fucking thing and he's like, "I got a backpack and a bullet-"

    6. AS

      (laughs)

    7. JR

      "... and I'm just gonna fucking hike deep enough to use all my water."

    8. AS

      1600 people went missing.

    9. JR

      "1600 people go missing from our public lands without a trace."

    10. AS

      Yeah, but a lot of those people are hiking and shit too.

    11. JR

      Oh, that's not every year. Okay, I'm wrong. That's, like, ever.

    12. AS

      Not...

    13. ... I've been reading, people have been getting messages about this, that this happens a lot or something like that.

    14. JR

      Right. But was it, what that one was saying 1600 people are missing? You know what I'm getting, (laughs) here's where I'm getting my information from.

    15. AS

      How many people kill themselves outside? (laughs)

    16. JR

      Here's, here's where I'm getting my information from. Bobcat Goldthwait's movie about Bigfoot.

    17. AS

      (laughs)

    18. JR

      (laughs) I just realized where I'm getting my numbers from. Because he has a, a movie called Willow Creek.

    19. AS

      Yeah.

    20. JR

      And it's all about, uh, Bigfoot sightings.

    21. AS

      This is why people are creeped out with the growing number of missing persons in our national parks. Yeah. But a lot of these people go fucking hiking. They don't go to kill themselves.

    22. JR

      Yeah.

    23. AS

      That's just people being foolish.

    24. JR

      Well, here's the thing, man. You don't ... A buddy of mine found a skull when he was elk hunting.

    25. AS

      Human skull?

    26. JR

      He found a human skull while elk hunting.

    27. AS

      So how long does that has to be dead for to be fucking deteriorated like that?

    28. JR

      It was, I mean, it was deteriorated like ... And first of all, animals would get to it almost immediately. They smell it. Birds come down, they start-

    29. AS

      Right.

    30. JR

      ... picking it apart. Coyotes find it. Everything finds it. Grabs.

  13. 53:11 – 1:04:06

    Porn, obscenity laws, and sex shops: from ‘found in the woods’ magazines to modern Amazon toys

    1. AS

      Dude, some of the anime shit that I stumble upon is so fucking ... Like the tentacle stuff is the stuff that freaks me out the most.

    2. JR

      It's weird.

    3. AS

      People love ... People ... (laughs) I don't know who likes watching a girl get fucked by like 19 tentacles, like jamming her eyeballs in her mouth and her butt hole and her ears and shit. People jerk off to that.

    4. JR

      A lot of that started off with, with Japanese for some reason. Somebody gave me an explanation. And I think-

    5. AS

      Why Japanese dudes like that?

    6. JR

      Yeah. I think the explanation is that Japanese porn, you're not allowed to show actual penetration.

    7. AS

      Insertion.

    8. JR

      Yeah, you can't.

    9. AS

      It blurs.

    10. JR

      And you can't even show cartoon dicks going into vaginas. But you can show tentacles.

    11. AS

      Oh shit, that makes sense.

    12. JR

      So the fact that tentacles look remotely similar to dicks-

    13. AS

      (laughs)

    14. JR

      ... they've decided to just go with tentacles in your mouth and you're (grunts) and spit's flying outta your mouth and ...

    15. AS

      And they can't show jizz. They can j- but they can show tentacle juice.

    16. JR

      You know what they can show? Where the jizz is all pixelated.

    17. AS

      Right.

    18. JR

      Like you can see the jizz through a prism.

    19. AS

      Dancing jizz pixelation.

    20. JR

      Yeah. You can't see the actual, like, HD 4K jizz.

    21. AS

      (laughs)

    22. JR

      Nobody ... Like, doo, doo, doo. That would be too much.

    23. AS

      4K jizz.

    24. JR

      When I was a kid, you couldn't have hard-ons in porn magazines. They didn't have hard-ons. All the dudes had to have, like, limp dicks.

    25. AS

      What?

    26. JR

      It was a law. It was a federal law.

    27. AS

      You better put that ... (laughs) You better get that thing stopped.

    28. JR

      I'm, I'm dead serious. Like, these guys had half hard dicks. They were always, like, half hard. And it was so confusing 'cause you'd be a little kid and your dick would be like a fucking total pole.

    29. AS

      Like, "What's wrong with mine?"

    30. JR

      And, and you, you'd be so horny and you'd be looking at this magazine and you're like, "This guy's right there and he's not even horny."

Episode duration: 3:08:08

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