EVERY SPOKEN WORD
150 min read · 30,052 words- 0:00 – 15:00
... equipped, insulated walls…
- JRJoe Rogan
... equipped, insulated walls put in (hands clap) the-- five, four, three, two, one. Someone's got a new Netflix special. (laughs)
- TGTodd Glass
(laughs) (claps) (door creaks) Ha.
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs) Couldn't think of any other way to start.
- TGTodd Glass
The opposite of what I thought you... (laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs) (burps)
- TGTodd Glass
Wow.
- JRJoe Rogan
Dun-dun-dun. So you do have a new Netflix special, though?
- TGTodd Glass
I do.
- JRJoe Rogan
I don't want this to be, like, an interview.
- TGTodd Glass
No, but I, but I, but I, but I, I like it. I'm actually proud of it. You know, it's like, I'm still proud of it, you know?
- JRJoe Rogan
That's awesome.
- TGTodd Glass
Usually, a certain amount of time will go by where I'm like, "Ugh."
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- TGTodd Glass
Like, by the time I'm even... Now, I've gotten it better on the road, 'cause you know, I was-
- JRJoe Rogan
Right.
- TGTodd Glass
... you know, the day after you shoot it, you go out on the road-
- JRJoe Rogan
And you're a murderer.
- TGTodd Glass
... and you have a little fun with it.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- TGTodd Glass
And that's when you go, "Ugh," and then you go... But I'm still proud of it. It was my favorite thing I've... It, it... The guy did, Jeff Rowe is the guy who... And Scott Moran, but just everything I wanted, they did it perfect.
- JRJoe Rogan
That's awesome.
- TGTodd Glass
The look, the lighting.
- JRJoe Rogan
Where'd you do it?
- TGTodd Glass
I did it at The Lyric, but... And The Lyric is great, but there's no doubt-
- JRJoe Rogan
This, is The Lyric in LA?
- TGTodd Glass
The Lyric is in LA. It's like at Melrose and, Melrose and La Brea.
- JRJoe Rogan
Ah.
- TGTodd Glass
Pretty... But, but they sort of used it as a shell, and it's already a pretty cool club, but... You know, it's so... The b- the biggest compliment I got, someone said, "You know what's weird about your special? I wanna go there and it doesn't exist."
- JRJoe Rogan
Ah.
- TGTodd Glass
What it looked like.
- 15:00 – 30:00
It's a different thing.…
- TGTodd Glass
does j-
- JRJoe Rogan
It's a different thing.
- TGTodd Glass
Even a joint, I don't roll joints 'cause I'm lazy, but whenever someone has a joint and they put it, I go, "This is when I ... This just-"
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- TGTodd Glass
"... happens so-"
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- TGTodd Glass
"... I get, I get a little higher." (laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
I like to smoke joints. They, f- it's a g- it feels like it's real clear what's happening. You know, like, there's a lot of these vape pens, you gotta press them five times-
- TGTodd Glass
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
... then hold them and you're sucking it in. You don't know what's in that oil, man. Who's making that stuff? Who's making that shit?
- TGTodd Glass
And they yell at-
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- TGTodd Glass
They yell at you when you can't do it. "Just press it twice! All right, it doesn't work as easy as you think."
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh, Jesus Christ with the press it twice.
- TGTodd Glass
I got one more thing.
- JRJoe Rogan
Do you ever fuck around with spray?
- TGTodd Glass
You mean-
- JRJoe Rogan
Jambo Spray? You ever fuck around with Jambo? Do you know what Jambo is?
- TGTodd Glass
You put it in the water?
- JRJoe Rogan
No, Super Organic really High-End Edibles and Spray. And this fucking spray will put you on the moon.
- TGTodd Glass
Wow, do you have any?
- JRJoe Rogan
Of course I do.
- TGTodd Glass
Wow, but I have to drive... I have someone, someone hanging with me today, John Brian Wagner.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- TGTodd Glass
Give him a shout out. I give a shout out you piece of shit.
- JRJoe Rogan
This is the 1,000 milligram, like if you drank the whole bottle, it's 1,000 milligrams.
- TGTodd Glass
That's too much to have of course.
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh, yeah.
- TGTodd Glass
I wouldn't have a half a spray.
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh, yeah.
- 30:00 – 45:00
Yeah.... whenever I see…
- JRJoe Rogan
like, y- you get this ... That, that to me was what I was into. What I wasn't into is people that d- needed to be motivated. They, they just didn't, they couldn't, they would, they just half-assed things. They weren't enthusiastic. They were distracted. Maybe they were talking too much. Like, n- you could do all that stuff another time, but if you wanna get good at this, there's only one way. You have to be really interested in getting good at it. You gotta be really focused on all the things you're doing (hands clap) right or wrong.
- TGTodd Glass
Yeah.... whenever I see a comedian, like you go back a year to a club, you saw a comedian, he's a newer comedian. If he has been going up at least twice a week and it's 52 weeks later-
- JRJoe Rogan
Right.
- TGTodd Glass
... it's fun to see that type of improvement.
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh, yeah.
- TGTodd Glass
And you're like, "Wow." Like, j- yeah, maybe I've gone up, what, 300 times since you've been here.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- TGTodd Glass
But you can tell if they haven't.
- JRJoe Rogan
Do you have any friends that you knew when you were a professional and they were open micers?
- TGTodd Glass
Oh, you mean-
- JRJoe Rogan
Like, y- they're professionals now-
- TGTodd Glass
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
... but you were a full-blown professional, you met them when they were an open micer.
- TGTodd Glass
Mm-hmm.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- TGTodd Glass
Matter of fact, it leads me to a little plug.
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh, you want a plug?
- TGTodd Glass
(laughs) It does look like you set, uh, set me up for it. But Blake Wexler is a comedian, he's a professional comedian now, and he met me when he was, like, 15 or 16 at Helium. And he was wearing a Conestoga shirt, that's, uh, where I went to high school. So of course you're like... You know, and he said he's a new comedian, so right away.
- JRJoe Rogan
Right.
- TGTodd Glass
You know, went to your high school and he's doing standup comedy. He was with his dad, we talked-
- JRJoe Rogan
Right.
- TGTodd Glass
... you know, like... I go, "Hey, if you wanna come back with your friend Saturday," I said, "here's my number, I'll put you on the guest list." And then, you know, years, year goes by, I was in Philly, h- I called him, I said, "Hey, Blake, you know, uh, uh, thanks for..." It was... Whatever it was, it would be a message I was leaving, "Hey, I got your friends on the guest list for Thursday." And then there's these messages, then we became good friends. So he told me, "I saved every one of your messages about a year ago." Eh, I've had people say that before, but then they go, "Oh, they got erased or when they..." You know, "Oh, I got my computer and then I lost them." He came over about a year ago with, uh, m- like, uh, 50 messages. And so we put them on a CD and put them on iTunes, and it's, uh, uh, uh, 12 Years of Messages from Todd Glass to Blake Wexler, simple name.
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- TGTodd Glass
But, uh, the reason-
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- TGTodd Glass
... I think it's really pure i- in a... Which is a weird way to maybe s- say it, but it's just from me to him. Like-
- JRJoe Rogan
Right.
- TGTodd Glass
Now, there was probably three or four at the end where I knew they'd probably end up on there, but I mentioned it, I go, "Now this whole thing is fucking ruined 'cause I know you're making that CD, so now I'm aware of it." But most of them, I never thought they'd end up on a C- so it's just me talking to Blake, and it sort of tells our friendship. You see the friendship grow, but it's, uh... They're, they're, they're f- they're so (laughs) very funny-
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- TGTodd Glass
... to hear them years later.
- 45:00 – 1:00:00
It's so much fun,…
- JRJoe Rogan
thinking about stuff.
- TGTodd Glass
It's so much fun, isn't it?
- JRJoe Rogan
Fuck yeah. It's awesome.
- TGTodd Glass
It really is.
- JRJoe Rogan
It's the greatest gig.
- TGTodd Glass
I still get like ... It really is. Just and the, and the, and, um, you know, with the recorder like on the phone.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- TGTodd Glass
That's changed. That's true. 'Cause I don't like writing stuff down. And I can say that's changed my life.
- JRJoe Rogan
Do you do, do the, um, text, uh, speech to text?
- TGTodd Glass
Yes.
- JRJoe Rogan
Where you just talk into it and it writes your notes for you?
- TGTodd Glass
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
That's amazing.
- TGTodd Glass
And it's every one of my ... I can just put jokes on there, bit by by ... You know, the recorder.
- JRJoe Rogan
Mm-hmm.
- TGTodd Glass
Oh, that recorder, man. That just cleaned my head up.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah. The recorder's giant.
- TGTodd Glass
Whoo. It's a big deal.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah, man. Any- anything where you can catch those slippery thoughts. Like, I think Neal Brennan said it best. He, I think he called his notebook, he's like, "This is like a net where I catch ideas." And I was like, "Ooh, that is a great way of looking at it." That is a great way of looking at it because some ideas, they just go away. Like they're so profound (laughs) . They're so profound but then a couple hours later you're like, "What the fuck was I thinking?" That always used to get me, where I'd have this amazing idea, or what I thought was an amazing idea, and then I, I go, "Ah, that's such a good idea. I'll remember it in the morning." And I go to sleep. (laughs)
- TGTodd Glass
I know. I still pull that shit.
- JRJoe Rogan
I've never remembered it.
- TGTodd Glass
Ne- never.
- JRJoe Rogan
Never.
- TGTodd Glass
I still pull that. I go, "What are you doing?" If my phone, if I ... I didn't have my charger now, I finally got a cord and it's next to the bed so I always have a cord to plug in my phone. But, uh, never ... Why do I ... And not, not half the time. Never. And I still have the n- I'll go out ... "No, 'cause that's a good idea." Never.
- JRJoe Rogan
Hedberg had a joke about that.
- TGTodd Glass
Too lazy to get up. (laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah, about being too lazy to get up to get a pen to write something down. So I just convinced myself it wasn't that funny in the first place. (laughs)
- TGTodd Glass
Is that great?
- JRJoe Rogan
But what's great is that, that was a bit he did on stage and it would kill.
- TGTodd Glass
Yeah.
- 1:00:00 – 1:02:44
(laughs) …
- JRJoe Rogan
100% correct. You could not be more correct. And there's a real problem. We gotta really avoid this shit. There's people that'll say things like, you know, "Women are all dumb bitches" or "Men are all p- shit." And that, that's nonsense. It's these gender-based generalizations are so stupid. There's nice people that are women.
- TGTodd Glass
(laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
There's nice people that are men. It's just... There's plenty of them.
- TGTodd Glass
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
You, you can't have a few bad relationships and turn on other people, uh, every person who has the same gender. And also, like, take a good look at yourself.
- TGTodd Glass
(laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
'Cause if you really... You know, there's, there's some people out there that do generalize like that. Like look at who... Look at your shit thinking that you're just diarrhea spraying out into the world.
- TGTodd Glass
That's- (laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
You know? I mean, that's really what it is. Whether you're a sexist against women-
- TGTodd Glass
Just... (coughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
... or a sexist against men. You, you have... You have such a piss-poor way of looking at things. Everybody knows you're wrong. Everybody knows you're wrong. You think that... I mean, whatever it is, any generalization, whether it's a racist generalization, uh, uh, sexist, homophobic, it's all the sa-... Everybody who's listening knows what it is. You know what it is when someone makes a generalization, like, "No. Look. No. You're not looking at it right. You don't know nice people that are Black. You don't know any nice people that are Black. That's ridiculous. Like, who the fuck are you? Like, h- how can you make this judgment when I've met so many? Like you're not meeting enough people." Or they meet you and they go, "Oh, this guy's a fucking asshole." So they avoid you, so everybody's got this thing that they're spreading about you.
- TGTodd Glass
Yeah, that's why younger people tend to, you know, just by being around... I wish there was a place you could go if you couldn't afford college, because I don't think it's the education at college that you probably learn the most from, it's the being forced to be around other people.
- JRJoe Rogan
Sure.
- TGTodd Glass
You go, "Oh, I'd rather hang out with that group that I hated because we have the same taste in music." And you learn it 'cause you're forced to live together.
- JRJoe Rogan
Right.
- TGTodd Glass
But I wish... Wouldn't it be cool if there was like, where can you go if you're like, "Well, I don't afford college, but I wanna put my kids around all..." Well, some parents wouldn't wanna do it, but kids could do it. "I just wanna be around every type of person." But you don't know to do that. College, that's the thing about college. And I didn't go to college. I didn't even graduate high school. But, uh, isn't that true that that's where a lot of growing does with young kids when they're forced-
- JRJoe Rogan
Sure.
- TGTodd Glass
... to be around other people?
- JRJoe Rogan
Look, some kids, they're living with really suppressive parents, and the only way they even know who the fuck they are is if they could sleep in their own bed, would open their own door with their own key, go into their own room, lie down, and then just be alone. Be away from these f- other fucking people that are constantly giving you these rules that you have to follow and have these lofty expectations for your success and like, fucking Christ, you don't even know what you want to do and they want you to do something that's gonna pay a lot of money. "We're, we're spending a lot of money sending you to school, Todd. We wanna make sure that you're productive. Productive, Todd. No drinking, no gallivanting."
Episode duration: 2:33:30
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