Joe Rogan Experience #1113 - Brian Redban

1. 0:00 – 15:00

   Five, four, three, two,…

   1. JRJoe Rogan0:01

      Five, four, three, two, one. (snaps fingers) Hey, fella.

   2. BRBrian Redban0:07

      Hey.

   3. JRJoe Rogan0:08

      What's going on?

   4. BRBrian Redban0:08

      Not much. How are you?

   5. JRJoe Rogan0:10

      I'm good. How are you?

   6. BRBrian Redban0:11

      I'm great.

   7. JRJoe Rogan0:11

      Wonderful. We're a little fucking high right now-

   8. BRBrian Redban0:15

      (laughs)

   9. JRJoe Rogan0:15

      ... but we're gonna get through it.

   10. BRBrian Redban0:17

       I'm so bummed. I was thinking about going to Hawaii the other day-

   11. JRJoe Rogan0:20

       Uh-oh.

   12. BRBrian Redban0:20

       ... and then this volcano happened.

   13. JRJoe Rogan0:21

       (laughs)

   14. BRBrian Redban0:21

       I'm like, of all the times.

   15. JRJoe Rogan0:22

       Dude, I was there.

   16. BRBrian Redban0:23

       I ... Oh, you were there when it happened?

   17. JRJoe Rogan0:24

       I was in Lanai. I was on one of the other islands.

   18. BRBrian Redban0:27

       Did you feel the earthquake?

   19. JRJoe Rogan0:27

       No, I didn't feel it.

   20. BRBrian Redban0:29

       All right.

   21. JRJoe Rogan0:29

       It's, you know, it's separated by quite a lot. There's a lot of water in the way. The big earthquake happened actually after the plane took off. So we were in the air when the big one hit.

   22. BRBrian Redban0:40

       Oh.

   23. JRJoe Rogan0:40

       Yeah, which it's apparently a big one, like a 5.9?

   24. BRBrian Redban0:43

       Yeah, I think it was even more than that.

   25. JRJoe Rogan0:44

       Was it?

   26. JVJamie Vernon0:45

       6.5, I think.

   27. JRJoe Rogan0:45

       Six? Oh.

   28. JVJamie Vernon0:46

       Six. Yeah, six.

   29. BRBrian Redban0:47

       Oh.

   30. JRJoe Rogan0:47

       Oh, right. They had a big one and then they had a fucking really big one.
2. 15:00 – 30:00

   Nope, the same one.…

   1. JRJoe Rogan15:00

      a bug. Hmm. So this today, a Washington emergency room nurse is accused of stealing narcotics and injecting two hospital patients with Hep C using the same needles that she used to inject herself. Okay, so they're not saying she infected it with her blood, their blood on purpose. She just did something super irresponsible and used her needles on these patients. So what she did was ... So what they're alleging is that she's using narcotics and she would get too much for the patients and give some to herself and then use that same needle to give it to the patients, probably because needles are tightly controlled, 'cause they don't ... You know, they probably have to account for every needle missing so they don't give them to junkies. And they probably have to account for all the narcotics. So she would probably give them some of hers. So it says, "She intentionally contaminated medicine or other substance with her own blood." See, that's what I read. See, this is a different thing. Is this a different website you just pulled up?

   2. JVJamie Vernon15:55

      Nope, the same one.

   3. JRJoe Rogan15:56

      "Intentionally contaminated medicine or another substance with her own blood. Then she administered the medicine, medicine or other substance intravenously." So the way she did it wasn't by putting her blood into the medication on purpose. The way she did it was by taking some of their medication, allegedly. Says, "I haven't seen evi- any evidence that she would have, that would prove that she intentionally infected anyone." Hmm.

   4. JVJamie Vernon16:24

      That's her attorney.

   5. JRJoe Rogan16:25

      Yeah, that's her attorney. Yeah. Um, so w- ... Go to the top, because there was something about narcotics, right? I've read this, um ... There's a book called Dead Doctors Don't Lie, and it's all about, uh, this guy, Dr. Joel Wallach and it was all about mineral deficient diets and then how many people have mineral deficient diets because US farmlands are just, uh, total overrun with, uh ... You know, y- you use the same land over and over and over again. They're overrun from the crops, like just drained the dirt, so they have to add minerals to the soil. They have to add shit to it. And this guy, Dr. Joel Wallach, was talking about how you have to realize like there's a lot of people out there that, over time, mineral deficient diets will show, you know, poor, uh, health results, right? So he was going on about how little doctors know about health in general. They know how to fix things, but how little many doctors know about like good diet and what's impor- what kind of nutrients you really need, 'cause they really don't spend that much time in school, much less time than the average person who's sort of obsessed with it. But then he started going on about how many doctors they find dead from overdoses and stories about doctors that just shot themselves up in a break room and died. (laughs)

   6. JVJamie Vernon17:35

      Mm-hmm.

   7. JRJoe Rogan17:36

      Shot ... Locked themselves up in a bathroom and shot coke. Like, if they're that tired and that worn down and they have access to coke, I bet, I bet a lot of them did it, especially when you could get ... if you could get away with it.

   8. BRBrian Redban17:50

      Especially if they have that liquid coke in the, in the hospitals. They're probably just huffing that stuff.

   9. JRJoe Rogan17:54

      Do they still have that? Liquid coke? They have lidocaine, right? But they have liquid ... What do they use the liquid coke for?

   10. JVJamie Vernon18:00

       It's for-

   11. JRJoe Rogan18:01

       A numbing agent, right?

   12. JVJamie Vernon18:02

       Yeah, yeah, yeah.

   13. JRJoe Rogan18:02

       Well, that's what lidocaine is, right?

   14. JVJamie Vernon18:04

       Yeah, I think the same thing though.

   15. JRJoe Rogan18:05

       But I don't think lidocaine gets you high.

   16. BRBrian Redban18:08

       I know this girl that used to ... I don't know if she made it, but I always thought it was from a doctor. Uh, it was like an inhaler type thing and she would just, uh, do that some- ... Or no, no. It was a nose thing.... like a-

   17. JRJoe Rogan18:19

       Huh.

   18. BRBrian Redban18:19

       ... Sprayed nose thing, like an Flonase.

   19. JRJoe Rogan18:22

       Flonase for coke?

   20. BRBrian Redban18:23

       Yeah. And she would just do that.

   21. JRJoe Rogan18:24

       Whoa.

   22. BRBrian Redban18:24

       And she would, like, shh, shh-

   23. JRJoe Rogan18:25

       She would just shoot liquid coke up her snout?

   24. BRBrian Redban18:27

       Yes. Yeah.

   25. JRJoe Rogan18:28

       Whoa. That's heavy.

   26. BRBrian Redban18:30

       Sounds better for you than snorting . (laughs)

   27. JRJoe Rogan18:32

       I don't know.

   28. BRBrian Redban18:33

       It's, like, moisturizing.

   29. JRJoe Rogan18:34

       I think the best way is apparently you chew those leaves.

   30. BRBrian Redban18:38

       Yeah. (laughs)
3. 30:00 – 45:00

   Can you ... Is…

   1. JRJoe Rogan30:00

      rocked and feeling my knees go. Like, getting punched in j- ... and then sp- ... keep sparring, keep sparring. Spar two more rounds with that guy, spar three rounds with another guy, he's hitting you in the face too. Like, you didn't stop. It was really dumb. You'd get hit and you'd get rocked and you didn't ... nobody, like, sat you down and go, "Okay, let's take the day off."... now you get right back in there, man. Your fucking legs would go, bang! Like, your legs would go and you'd cover up and you'd- you'd, you know, people would be throwing bombs on you and you'd ... Next day, sparring again. (laughs)

   2. BRBrian Redban30:30

      Can you ... Is there a way to detect it, like get it in your brain scan so you can see it?

   3. JRJoe Rogan30:33

      There's better ways now. There's better ways now, but I- I had a limited amount of it. I mean, I had ... The real getting rapped in the head for me came when I tried to transition from Taekwondo to kickboxing. Uh, doing Taekwondo, I got- I d- I definitely got hit in the head, for sure.

   4. BRBrian Redban30:49

      (gasps) .

   5. JRJoe Rogan30:49

      But I didn't get hit in the head as much, 'cause it's hard to kick people in the head. You definitely get hit. I mean, I- I don't know how many times. I definitely got hit. But I'd never gotten knocked out from a head kick, but I got knocked out from punches before.

   6. BRBrian Redban31:00

      Wow.

   7. JRJoe Rogan31:00

      Or at least ki- TKOed, I got TKOed. But when- when a punch hits your face, it's like your- your legs go and everything, like, shuts off. Like, if you get rocked and you- you see, like, a person go down, it's not that they go down, like, "Oh, this is so much pain, I have to go down." No. You get hit and everything shuts off. It just goes, boop. And then you- you feel your legs like rubber, you try to stand back up ... Did you used to watch the last UFC where Edson Barboza head kicked Kevin Lee?

   8. BRBrian Redban31:27

      Yes.

   9. JRJoe Rogan31:28

      Did you see that?

   10. BRBrian Redban31:28

       Yeah.

   11. JRJoe Rogan31:28

       He spinning wheel kicked him, and you see Kevin Lee's legs just go, boink?

   12. BRBrian Redban31:32

       Yeah.

   13. JRJoe Rogan31:32

       They just gave out for a second and then he came back and ... Those- those ones, I got way more when I was boxing. (laughs)

   14. BRBrian Redban31:41

       (laughs) Jesus.

   15. JRJoe Rogan31:41

       I got way more of those, like, I was- I was- I was not good at boxing when I first got into boxing. I was learn- I was good at Taekwondo, but then I got into boxing. I was not good at it. I didn't know what I was doing. I didn't understand the distance. Taekwondo, you didn't punch in the face, you only punched the body, so you had a real distorted perception of how good you were with your hands. And then once I started boxing, I was like, "Ooh, this is terrible." (laughs)

   16. BRBrian Redban32:03

       (laughs)

   17. JRJoe Rogan32:04

       And that's- that's when I was taking, like, probably the most damage of my life, of a period of, like, two years of, like, a lot of sparring. I did a lot of sparring. Everybody sparred. Everybody sparred with everybody. People knocked people out all the time. (laughs) It's so stupid. So stupid. I see guys get knocked out, I mean out cold, right hand to the chin. Boom! Eyes roll behind their head, legs give out, they bounce off the canvas. They put a cold towel on them, they put some ice on his head. He gets up, he's like, "I'm good, I'm good, I'm good." "You wanna keep going?" "Yeah, let's keep going." "Let's keep going"?

   18. BRBrian Redban32:42

       No.

   19. JRJoe Rogan32:42

       You were just unconscious.

   20. BRBrian Redban32:44

       (laughs)

   21. JRJoe Rogan32:44

       You were just unconscious five minutes ago and you want to keep sparring? This is crazy. And they'd let them, they'd let them keep sparring.

   22. BRBrian Redban32:50

       You did it from when you were, like, real young, right?

   23. JRJoe Rogan32:52

       Taekwondo from when I was ... Well, I took karate classes when I was 14, but when I got super serious, I was 15. It was, like, right at my s- before my sophomore year of high school. So, like, I got into it from the time I was in the, uh, n- ninth grade, as- I was 14. Like that summer, like, right after my birthday around is when I started getting into Tae- so I was probably either 14 or just turning 15.

   24. BRBrian Redban33:17

       I was gonna ask, like, was there a point you could tell where people actually could be able to knock people out and give that damage? 'Cause there may be ... Probably the whole time, yeah. Probably the whole time you were-

   25. JRJoe Rogan33:25

       14 year olds can knock you out. The thing about kicks is almost anybody can knock you out. It's really crazy. Like, when you think of the amount of power that you have to have, like, in your legs. Like, say if you decide to put a heavy backpack on, like one of those Outdoorsman's Atlas trainers, and put 90 pounds on, you could walk up flights of stairs, dude. Just think of how much power that is in your legs. You could throw your body up flights of stairs for exercise. Just whoosh, hoosh, hoosh, hoosh, hoot. Your body is, whatever you weigh, 150, 200, whatever you weigh, your body is just launching that through the air over and over and over again. (laughs) Even if you're a girl that weighs 135 pounds, you're still launching 135 pounds through the air. And if that girl fucking shins you, ba-blang! Right on your temple, like, goes across the jaw, temple area, ga-blang! Your legs are gonna give out, your sh- brain's gonna shut off. If somebody hits you perfect ... There's a video of, uh, Th- I think the guy was hu- I think it was ... I think it was Mighty Moe. Mighty Moe, who's this huge kickboxer. I believe he was Samoan. And I mean, this- just, like, typical Samoan dude, big, giant, fucking powerhouse of a dude. And he fought this little Thai guy. This Thai guy was 175 pounds, so much smaller than him. I mean, it was crazy to watch. The Thai guy's just moving away, moving away, moving away. And then the Thai guy roundhouse kicks him in the head. This guy.

   26. BRBrian Redban34:58

       Mm-hmm.

   27. JRJoe Rogan34:59

       Like, look at the difference in size.

   28. BRBrian Redban35:02

       Yeah.

   29. JRJoe Rogan35:03

       And watch this. This dude just comes over the top. I mean, the difference between the two of them ... Mighty Moe is a beast too. Seriously dangerous knockout puncher. He put a lot of guys to sleep. So now there's this guy in there with someone way bigger than him, but he's in there with a killer. Ba-boom!

   30. BRBrian Redban35:20

       Oh.
4. 45:00 – 1:00:00

   If I was going…

   1. JRJoe Rogan45:00

      the fight's over, you click winner or loser. You know? That's all you have to do, just quick winner. And you, if you uh, optional, you could put in your own score, but get the fuck out of here. The scoring sucks anyway. That 10 point mu- must system is stupid. It's, it's a borrowed system. It's not a good system for all those weapons. It's a good system for two b- two weapons, punches. You know, the like, you got kicks and knees and elbows and chokes, take downs, defense. You got slams and throws and come on, wheel kicks and spinning back kicks. What's better, a spinning back kick or a jab? I don't know.

   2. JVJamie Vernon45:33

      If I was going to Fight Pass, you gotta pay for your vote in that case. Do you wanna pay 10 bucks every time-

   3. JRJoe Rogan45:33

      Yeah, exactly.

   4. JVJamie Vernon45:33

      ... to, to choose those stats?

   5. JRJoe Rogan45:33

      Well you, if you had an app, you have a UFC app and the app, all it has to do, they just make it so it's interactive. So with each fight, after the fight's over, you click winner or loser. You know, that's all you have to do. Just quick winner and you, if you uh, optional, you could put in your own score, but get the fuck out of here. The scoring sucks anyway. That 10 point mu- must system is stupid. It's, it's a borrowed system. It's not a good system for all those weapons. It's a good system for two b- two weapons. Punches. You know, the like, you got kicks and knees and elbows and chokes, take downs, defense. You got slams and throws and come on, wheel kicks and spinning back kicks. What's better, a spinning back kick or a jab? I don't know. Boxing is a punch or a punch. Like that punch was harder than that punch. But u- unless someone's kicking you in the leg, you don't even know what that feels like. You have no idea. The guy's just walking around like nothing happened. Y- you can't score that if nobody's ever kicked you in the legs.

   6. BRBrian Redban45:48

      They should have a full body suit that detects punches and that like-

   7. JRJoe Rogan45:53

      (laughs)

   8. BRBrian Redban45:53

      ... how strong it is.

   9. JRJoe Rogan45:54

      Yeah. But then it takes away from the, the fucking, the, the rawness of it all. You can't have people fighting in body suits.

   10. BRBrian Redban46:00

       Well in the future, it will look like you don't have anything on.

   11. JRJoe Rogan46:03

       A lot of gals have to wear, um, they'll wear their something that covers their midsection, right? They have like a sports bra strapped down sort of jammy, and they wear something that covers their midsection too. That's interesting. Like they have to have their stomach covered or they're allowed to have their stomach covered just to keep their boobs in check.

   12. BRBrian Redban46:22

       (laughs)

   13. JRJoe Rogan46:22

       Like everybody gotta stay in the party.

   14. BRBrian Redban46:24

       Can't fuck up those titties.

   15. JRJoe Rogan46:25

       Kat Sangane will be on soon. She'll explain it to us 'cause she had a uh, wa- wardrobe malfunction in one of her fights.

   16. JVJamie Vernon46:31

       (laughs)

   17. BRBrian Redban46:31

       Oh. Really?

   18. JRJoe Rogan46:32

       Yeah. She had a little slip.

   19. BRBrian Redban46:33

       Jimmy, put that up.

   20. JRJoe Rogan46:34

       Slip of the dog skin.

   21. BRBrian Redban46:35

       (laughs)

   22. JRJoe Rogan46:36

       Just a tiny slip, slip, slip of the dog skin. Isn't that funny? O- every dude shows his nipple. Every dude who fights shows his nipple. Girl goes out and shows her nipple, everybody goes crazy.

   23. JVJamie Vernon46:47

       (laughs)

   24. BRBrian Redban46:47

       You know what's funny?

   25. JRJoe Rogan46:48

       (laughs)

   26. BRBrian Redban46:48

       Twitch, Twitch won't even let a grown man take off his shirt.

   27. JRJoe Rogan46:52

       Good.

   28. BRBrian Redban46:52

       Like y- you'll be banned.

   29. JRJoe Rogan46:54

       It's disgusting.

   30. JVJamie Vernon46:54

       (laughs)
5. 1:00:00 – 1:08:00

   Yeah. That- …

   1. JRJoe Rogan1:00:00

      And I've always used this example, but it's a good example. Why, why is it okay for me to get a massage? It's okay for me to pay someone to give me pleasure all over my body except my genitals. Like, they could rub my neck and my feet, they can get in all, all up in my feet, man. They get those thumbs and start working your feet and you're like, "Uh." They crack your toes, pop, pop. It feels great. That's fine, but they can't jerk you off. If they jerked you off, that would be a terrible sin against God and man. If they touched your penis, which feels really good when you touch it, can't do that. I know a dude who said he gets asshole massages.

   2. BRBrian Redban1:00:35

      Yeah. That-

   3. JRJoe Rogan1:00:36

      Have you heard of that?

   4. BRBrian Redban1:00:36

      ... actually happens all the time to me.

   5. JRJoe Rogan1:00:38

      The interior of your asshole. They massage the interior of your asshole. That's okay because it's just a massage.

   6. BRBrian Redban1:00:45

      ... prostate massage. And what's weird is when they do it and they don't ask you, 'cause a lot of massage people just do it. That's a part of the massage, and they just start ... Yeah, but no, no, I don't-

   7. JRJoe Rogan1:00:54

      Whoa.

   8. BRBrian Redban1:00:54

      ... want, I don't want that.

   9. JRJoe Rogan1:00:55

      Apparently, some people get it where they use a tool and they actually go inside your asshole and-

   10. BRBrian Redban1:01:03

       The tongue.

   11. JRJoe Rogan1:01:03

       ... rub down. No, no, no. Not that tool.

   12. BRBrian Redban1:01:06

       (laughs)

   13. JRJoe Rogan1:01:06

       The other one.

   14. BRBrian Redban1:01:07

       (laughs) Your fist.

   15. JRJoe Rogan1:01:08

       Fist. They use, uh, some sort of a thing to fucking check your butt. And that's okay.

   16. BRBrian Redban1:01:16

       What? (laughs)

   17. JRJoe Rogan1:01:16

       That's fine, that's fine. Just don't touch the dick. If you touch the dick, it's goddamn crime. They're waiting outside the door with a pistol. "You just let me know when he touches the dick." "Oh, he's just rubbing his asshole." "Check the books." "Is that all right? Oh, his dick's not even hard." "Okay, okay." "We're ready. We're ready!" "We're gonna break into this fucking shady place as soon as we find out that he's getting his dick touched." Like you could get someone to just massage your asshole. Just get in there with ... Squeeze your butt cheeks and get two thumbs in your asshole. (grunting) "What am I doing?" "I'm doing a sphincter massage. It's very important to release some of the chakras and negative energy and, and, and some of the toxins that are stored in your body from processed foods and, uh, uh, modern lifestyle. So we're just going in your asshole with the thumb." Some guru has talked people into thumbing them in the ass.

   18. BRBrian Redban1:02:03

       It's so weird that-

   19. JRJoe Rogan1:02:04

       (laughs)

   20. BRBrian Redban1:02:04

       ... I've never ... Like I just recently found out all that shit that's happening in massage parlors.

   21. JRJoe Rogan1:02:08

       (yawns)

   22. BRBrian Redban1:02:08

       But like, you know, 10 years ago, I had no clue. I would go by a massage parlor and I'd go, "Oh, that's for massages. There's nothing bad going on here." I wonder how many places like that are like, like psychics.

   23. JRJoe Rogan1:02:18

       Mm-hmm.

   24. BRBrian Redban1:02:18

       What happens at psychics at 4:00 in the morning? Why are they open at 4:00 in the morning? Is that where you get your ass eaten out? And I ... You don't learn about that until you're 70 or something?

   25. JRJoe Rogan1:02:26

       Mm, I don't think so.

   26. BRBrian Redban1:02:27

       (laughs)

   27. JRJoe Rogan1:02:28

       I think psychics are open late at night because A, it's a scam, and B, when people are ... it's late at night, they're drunk. And like maybe it's a girl who's driving home, the guy texted her and she doesn't know, "Should I text him back? Why is he texting me so late? That's kind of disrespectful. I don't know if he's the one." And then she pulls into that psychic's office.

   28. BRBrian Redban1:02:49

       (laughs)

   29. JRJoe Rogan1:02:49

       And she's like, (sighs) "I just need you to tell me about my future." And the psychic is like, "I sense there's a problem, a romantic interest." "Ugh, my boyfriend." "Yes, yes, there's ... You're stressed, there's something deeply troubling you. You're, you're confused." "I am confused." "Yes, you're confused. You're trying to ... The decision's hard to ... There's something coming up. Something's happening." "Yeah, he wants me to come over to the house and fuck him, and I don't want to do it." "Yes, that's it. There's a thing that he's wanting you to do that you're not so sure if he's the one. Is that it?" "Yes! Oh my God! That's what I said when I was on the way over here. And then when he said you're not sure if he's the one, I'm like, oh my fucking God. Is it like written on my forehead? How's it possible he knows? He fucking knew about Mark, he knew about our relationship problems, and he knew that I was on my way over there wondering whether or not he's the one. I don't think he's the one." (sobs)

   30. BRBrian Redban1:03:51

       I don't think he's the one. (imitates sniffs) I think you're my favorite girl voice, guy. You know, like I-

Episode duration: 3:06:55