Joe Rogan Experience #1126 - Erik Griffin

Joe Rogan 0:01 You don't want them to know.

Erik Griffin 0:04 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 0:05 Boom! And we're live, Eric Griffin. So we were talking before-

Erik Griffin 0:08 Thank you.

Joe Rogan 0:08 ... this podcast how you mix it up with the Android watch but the Apple phone. It's very curious.

Erik Griffin 0:14 Yeah, well, see, I used to be all Samsung. I loved the, the Android, and the watch is great, I love how it interacts.

Joe Rogan 0:19 Mm-hmm.

Erik Griffin 0:19 But then I get a girlfriend who has an iPhone.

Joe Rogan 0:22 Right?

Erik Griffin 0:22 And she's like, "I wanna FaceTime with you."

Joe Rogan 0:25 So why don't you tell her to get Skype?

Erik Griffin 0:26 Yeah (sighs) .

Joe Rogan 0:27 Skype app?

Erik Griffin 0:28 You're married. You don't understand-

Joe Rogan 0:30 Yeah.

Erik Griffin 0:30 ... what, like, you can't... Anyway.

Joe Rogan 0:31 Mm-hmm.

Erik Griffin 0:31 (laughs) I got, I-

Joe Rogan 0:32 Gotta set standards.

Erik Griffin 0:33 Well hey, I, I'm not the sa- standard guy.

Joe Rogan 0:36 Line is in the sand. Line is in the sand, brother.

Erik Griffin 0:37 (laughs) So then I... But then they have, like, a, a, they had this app on the i- Apple now called Gear.

Joe Rogan 0:42 Oh.

Erik Griffin 0:42 Which lets you hook up y- your phone, but you can't really interact with it. You can't, like, talk or anything. But it's actually kinda nice. You just wanna know stuff's going on.

Joe Rogan 0:50 It's probably, yeah, we were saying it's probably better that you can't interact with it.

Erik Griffin 0:53 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 0:53 'Cause Jamie was telling me that they, you could do walkie-talkie with your iPhones now.

Jamie Vernon 0:59 Yeah, they're d- it's still being announced right now so I don't know all the details. But the Worldwide Developers Conference is going on, the WWDC, so they're announce the new operating system, the new Apple Watch, and the new aut- like, automatic workout detection, walkie-talkie mode, and something else is going on.

Joe Rogan 1:14 There's just too much.

Erik Griffin 1:16 I have a Apple Watch too. I love it. You can leave it at m- at least sometimes I leave my phone. I don't even bring my phone with me.

Joe Rogan 1:20 Yeah?

Erik Griffin 1:21 'Cause you can, uh...

Joe Rogan 1:22 Do you feel weird when you do that?

Erik Griffin 1:23 Yeah. 'Cause and here's the-

Joe Rogan 1:24 Like you're a rebel?

Erik Griffin 1:25 Here's what's happening now though, like-

Joe Rogan 1:26 Okay.

Erik Griffin 1:26 ... if I have my watch, like so I'm right... When, when you look at your watch, what does that cue? It cues like you wanna go or you're missing out on something orI I don't-

Joe Rogan 1:33 Right.

Erik Griffin 1:33 ... have any more... No, now when you do that, it's just 'cause you're looking at a text message.

Joe Rogan 1:37 Mm-hmm.

Erik Griffin 1:37 So now it's just as rude as-

Joe Rogan 1:38 Yeah.

Erik Griffin 1:39 It does n- you know, we're not... This isn't helping.

Joe Rogan 1:41 No.

Erik Griffin 1:41 It's not helping when I go, if I'm looking, you know, we're talking and I go like this, I look down and you think, "Hey, just, you have to go someplace?"

Joe Rogan 1:47 Yeah.

Erik Griffin 1:48 No, no, I just got a text.

Joe Rogan 1:49 It's too much, right?

Erik Griffin 1:50 Yeah, just got a tweet. I got a retweet I'm looking at, you know, that's what it is.

Joe Rogan 1:53 Yeah, what are we doing? What are we doing here?

Erik Griffin 1:54 I have no idea. And you know what's really s- weird about all this stuff, the phones and how we talk? Everybody wants to text, like, you, you can't get people to call you.

Joe Rogan 2:02 Right.

Erik Griffin 2:02 You can't get people to... And now, and now they're putting little emojis.

Joe Rogan 2:05 Right.

Erik Griffin 2:05 Right? And then from the emo- now they're putting, like, GIFs of real people.

Joe Rogan 2:09 Yeah.

Erik Griffin 2:09 So this is how I feel.

Joe Rogan 2:10 Mm-hmm.

Erik Griffin 2:11 So, uh, we're, we're, we're going in a circle.

Joe Rogan 2:13 Yeah.

Erik Griffin 2:13 Because we want human interaction. We want connection.

Joe Rogan 2:16 Mm-hmm.

Erik Griffin 2:16 We wanna see people. So now we're putting, they're putting a celebrity up, like, "This is how I feel today."

Joe Rogan 2:21 Right.

Erik Griffin 2:21 Why don't you put how you feel today?

Joe Rogan 2:24 Right. Not Chris Pa- Pratt-

Erik Griffin 2:26 R- right, right, right.

Joe Rogan 2:26 ... like throwing a garbage can or something.

Erik Griffin 2:28 Yeah, "This is my mood." It's like-

Joe Rogan 2:29 Right.

Erik Griffin 2:29 ... we're, we're slowly getting back to where it's gonna be, we're gonna actually be talking to a real person.

Joe Rogan 2:35 You think so?

Erik Griffin 2:35 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 2:36 It'll come all the way around?

Erik Griffin 2:36 I think it's gonna come all the way around.

Joe Rogan 2:38 Hmm. What is this, Jamie?

Jamie Vernon 2:39 This is the new thing they showed. It's, uh, you're making a emoji of yourself called Memoji.

Joe Rogan 2:44 They already did that with Sandra- Samsung.

Jamie Vernon 2:45 This is, like, it's working in-

Joe Rogan 2:47 How in-

Jamie Vernon 2:47 ... the Apple.

Joe Rogan 2:47 ... they're ripping them off.

Erik Griffin 2:48 This is what I'm- We're searching, we're trying to find ways to be more ourselves. You don't need an emoji of yourself, just do-

Jamie Vernon 2:59 Oh, they're gonna-

Erik Griffin 2:59 ... be yourself.

Jamie Vernon 3:00 Sorry, they're going against each other.

Joe Rogan 3:02 Oh, the-

Jamie Vernon 3:02 It takes on.

Joe Rogan 3:02 ... takes on Samsung-

Jamie Vernon 3:03 I thought it was-

Joe Rogan 3:04 ... AR emoji. Yeah, they ripped off the idea.

Jamie Vernon 3:06 I thought it was-

Joe Rogan 3:06 Cheap fucks.

Jamie Vernon 3:06 ... taken on.

Joe Rogan 3:07 Isn't that funny?

Erik Griffin 3:08 Apple's always late (laughs) .

Joe Rogan 3:08 Like, Apple's ripping people off. No, they were first with the f- iPhone. The iPhone was the first of these kinda things, the first iPhone. But Androids are real close now. They're real close. I mean, it's, it's very-

Erik Griffin 3:21 But E-

Joe Rogan 3:21 ... debatable.

Erik Griffin 3:21 ... but everything after that, they were late. Like-

Joe Rogan 3:23 Really?

Erik Griffin 3:24 ... like, on an Android you could copy and paste on an Android.

Joe Rogan 3:27 Oh, you could do that?

Erik Griffin 3:27 Two, three years before you could do it-

Joe Rogan 3:30 Oh, really?

Erik Griffin 3:30 ... on a Apple.

Joe Rogan 3:31 So you've always been an Android guy?

Erik Griffin 3:32 Yeah, I've always been an Android guy.

Joe Rogan 3:33 Just get another Android.

Erik Griffin 3:35 I know, I'm gonna-

Joe Rogan 3:35 Tell your girlfriend to fuck off.

Erik Griffin 3:36 I know (laughs) .

Jamie Vernon 3:38 (laughs)

Erik Griffin 3:38 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 3:38 I'm the man. You get an Android!

Erik Griffin 3:40 You get it, yeah.

Joe Rogan 3:41 You get an Android and we'll Skype it.

Erik Griffin 3:42 It'll be me giving, buying her an Android.

Joe Rogan 3:44 Is there anything native to Android like, uh, like, the, uh, the FaceTime thing? Is there something that's on the-

Erik Griffin 3:51 No.

Joe Rogan 3:51 ... right away?

Erik Griffin 3:51 They do, they have, like, they had, like, their own-

Joe Rogan 3:53 Version of that?

Erik Griffin 3:54 They have their own version of that, but I don't think people really use it. They have their own An- like, Samsung Video.

Joe Rogan 3:58 Oh, but Samsung has one.

Erik Griffin 3:59 Yeah, yeah, Samsung.

Joe Rogan 3:59 But does, like, what if you have, say, like, a Google Pixel phone?

Erik Griffin 4:02 Yeah, that, they might have, but I don't think enough people have a Google Pixel phone to make that even a thing.

Joe Rogan 4:07 Oh, really?

Erik Griffin 4:08 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 4:08 I thought those were really popular.

Erik Griffin 4:09 Are they? Who do you know? Name me one person you know that has a Google Pixel.

Joe Rogan 4:12 Damn, that's a good call.

Erik Griffin 4:13 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 4:13 Me. I have one.

Erik Griffin 4:14 You don- you do not have a Google Pixel.

Joe Rogan 4:16 I do have one.

Erik Griffin 4:16 D- but you-

Joe Rogan 4:17 I don't use it.

Erik Griffin 4:17 Yeah, okay, so you were given a Google Pixel-

Joe Rogan 4:20 No, I bought one.

Erik Griffin 4:20 Why?

Joe Rogan 4:21 'Cause I wanted to try it out, but here's what happened. Um, I couldn't get text messages to work. This is the scam.

Erik Griffin 4:27 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 4:28 Because you are hooked up to this, uh, i- what are you showing me, Jamie?

Jamie Vernon 4:31 So they do have it, it's with the Pixel 2 or something, like just-

Joe Rogan 4:34 Oh.

Jamie Vernon 4:34 ... or maybe it's new to that.

Joe Rogan 4:34 Android video calling.

Erik Griffin 4:36 Yeah, yeah, it just-

Joe Rogan 4:36 Google simplifies Android video calling. Oh.

Erik Griffin 4:39 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 4:39 Oh, look at that. So does that only work with Android, Android to Android?

Erik Griffin 4:43 Yeah, probably.

Joe Rogan 4:44 Is that the idea? Hmm, okay. I!

Erik Griffin 4:45 I don't know why they don't just work together. Why doesn't Apple-

Joe Rogan 4:49 Exactly.

Erik Griffin 4:49 ... and Google just work together?

Joe Rogan 4:50 Well, they don't work together with text message, see, that was my point is, like-

Erik Griffin 4:53 Yeah, this is really annoying.

Joe Rogan 4:54 ... the iMessage thing is what fucked me.

Erik Griffin 4:56 Oh.

Joe Rogan 4:56 Because everybody knew that I had an, an iPhone so they would send me, 'cause they have an iPhone, they would send me an iMessage. And so I was sending people text messages, they're like, "I'm not getting it." I'm like, "Send me one." And they would send me one and I wouldn't get it. And so then I went online and looked it up and it said, "You have to disable iMessage." Okay, so I disable iMessage. Then you have to call up, you have to actually call up someone-

Erik Griffin 5:21 I'm done at that point.

Joe Rogan 5:22 ... in Apple, yeah, at that point. You have to call up someone and tell them to take your email address off of the i- message database.

Erik Griffin 5:30 (sighs)

Joe Rogan 5:31 Okay. So I do that. And, uh, I say, "Take this email addre-" "Uh, wh- why you doing that, sir?" 'Cause I switched over to a, an Android phone. And it's like, pause, like I just fucking killed the queen.

Erik Griffin 5:40 (laughs)

Narrator 5:40 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 5:40 Like this, like, come on. Like why you giving a fuck?

Erik Griffin 5:42 You heard an alarm go off. (laughs)

Narrator 5:44 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 5:44 I'm one of millions of fucking people out there. You don't know anything about me. Why do you care? Wh- why would you give a fuck if I- but they like, they, they literally ... the guy on the phone felt bad that I was switching over. So then, um, it still wouldn't work. I mean, it didn't work for da- I'd get like one out of three text messages. And it all happened while I was on vacation. I just figured, I'm gonna try this phone while I'm on vacation-

Erik Griffin 6:06 (scoffs)

Joe Rogan 6:06 ... fuck around. But you can't.

Erik Griffin 6:07 No.

Joe Rogan 6:07 They, they got you roped in with that goddamn ... that iMessage shit.

Erik Griffin 6:11 No, yeah, that's their ... Apple's thing.

Joe Rogan 6:13 Yeah, 'cause it's not a text message.

Erik Griffin 6:13 'Cause they make it free no matter where you are in the world.

Joe Rogan 6:15 Mm.

Erik Griffin 6:15 And all that.

Joe Rogan 6:16 Yeah.

Erik Griffin 6:16 I mean, there's a lot of people have Apple. And a lot ... I think Samsung has taken over in terms of like for Android, you know?

Joe Rogan 6:20 Yeah.

Erik Griffin 6:21 I love, I love the Samsung phones. I'm not just-

Joe Rogan 6:22 They make good phones.

Erik Griffin 6:23 They make great phones. That's all.

Joe Rogan 6:24 The difference between the Androids though is that Samsung does not update their software very often. Their update ... they update security patches, but-

Erik Griffin 6:32 'Cause they don't need to.

Joe Rogan 6:33 But Google Pixel phones get the latest software right when it gets released. And so like when Oreo comes out and 8.1, all these different, uh, operating systems come out, they're better, supposedly.

Erik Griffin 6:47 Yeah, for like ... well, for how long? A week?

Joe Rogan 6:48 I mean, what ... no, it takes a long time before they come out on Sa- on Samsung phones, long time. Like six months sometimes.

Erik Griffin 6:54 Oh, really?

Joe Rogan 6:55 Yeah, it takes a long time.

Erik Griffin 6:56 Well, there you go.

Joe Rogan 6:56 Yeah.

Erik Griffin 6:57 You heard, you heard it here. Break, breaking news right here.

Joe Rogan 6:58 Yeah, it's-

Erik Griffin 6:59 Well, that ... maybe that's what the problem was.

Joe Rogan 7:00 Yeah, but it also ... Samsung puts their own shit over Android.

Erik Griffin 7:05 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 7:05 And the, the real Android dorks want pure Android.

Erik Griffin 7:08 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 7:08 And pure Android you really only get with the Pixel. Unless you can ... are you ... do you know about ... how do you do ... like can you hack them? You can hack them, right? Where you can put-

Erik Griffin 7:16 Yeah, you can like, like, like how you use ... what are they called? The, like you jailbreak-

Joe Rogan 7:20 Root them.

Erik Griffin 7:20 ... your iPhone-

Joe Rogan 7:21 Yeah, iPhone.

Erik Griffin 7:21 ... and all that kind of stuff. They've made that just common now, I think.

Joe Rogan 7:23 Yeah.

Erik Griffin 7:24 "Cause it used to be like they, they, they would lock it down where like, let's say you had Verizon. So you could only use this phone on Verizon-

Joe Rogan 7:31 Right.

Erik Griffin 7:31 ... with Verizon stuff.

Joe Rogan 7:32 Yeah.

Erik Griffin 7:32 And then you would jailbreak it and then you could then like open it up to like all these other types of apps.

Joe Rogan 7:37 Yeah.

Erik Griffin 7:37 It's just ... if they would stop being greedy fucks.

Joe Rogan 7:40 Greedy.

Erik Griffin 7:40 Just stop being so greedy. Let me use my phone however I want.

Joe Rogan 7:43 Yeah.

Erik Griffin 7:43 I'm still gonna be on your system. I'm still paying your, you know, $200 a month for your stupid phone, uh, service.

Joe Rogan 7:49 Yeah.

Erik Griffin 7:49 And, but you ... I can't do little, a little extra?

Joe Rogan 7:51 Little extra.

Erik Griffin 7:52 Just a little extra.

Joe Rogan 7:53 Just a little extra.

Erik Griffin 7:54 Don't get me started on this.

Joe Rogan 7:55 I'm getting you started.

Erik Griffin 7:56 'cause I know, I just-

Joe Rogan 7:57 These motherfuckers.

Erik Griffin 7:58 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 7:58 Man, I can't believe the shit we have to deal with, Eric Griffin.

Erik Griffin 8:01 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 8:02 Goddammit.

Erik Griffin 8:03 (laughs) Uh-

Joe Rogan 8:04 That is weird though, man. It's like ... it's weird there's only two. That's also weird. There's only like two operating systems.

Erik Griffin 8:11 That's how-

Joe Rogan 8:11 And they're competing side to side.

Erik Griffin 8:12 But that's how we are in our country. We can only ... we c- Republican or Democrat.

Joe Rogan 8:16 Man.

Erik Griffin 8:16 Apple or Android.

Joe Rogan 8:18 But they had ... do you remember Windows Phone?

Erik Griffin 8:19 We can't-

Joe Rogan 8:19 Windows Phone wasn't bad.

Erik Griffin 8:20 Yep. (laughs) Wasn't it-

Joe Rogan 8:22 It wasn't that bad. I had a friend who had a Windows Phone. I was like, "Oh, this is kinda cool." It had tiles. It was like Windows 10. You know how Windows 10 looks with tiles?

Erik Griffin 8:30 (laughs) It's ... that's, that sucka came and went. Nobody cares about that.

Joe Rogan 8:33 Came and went. Look at you.

Erik Griffin 8:34 Yeah. It's just I ... I, I can't, I can't deal with-

Joe Rogan 8:36 (laughs)

Erik Griffin 8:36 I don't wanna hear what y- ... you ... everybody's trying to get into the phone game. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 8:40 Right.

Erik Griffin 8:40 It's like n- no, thank you.

Joe Rogan 8:40 But it's what's crazy is, how many people have Windows computers? It's amazing that Windows had a phone and people were like, "Nah."

Erik Griffin 8:47 Yeah. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 8:48 (laughs)

Erik Griffin 8:48 Well, 'cause they know all the problems they had with their, with their computer.

Joe Rogan 8:51 Yeah.

Erik Griffin 8:51 I mean, I'm, I'm ... I stopped ... I wonder ... I can't even remember the last time I had a Windows computer. I strictly went Apple 'cause it's just so easy to use.

Joe Rogan 8:58 Right.

Erik Griffin 8:59 And it's still not easy to use.

Joe Rogan 9:01 You know what's not easy though? Um, Apple does not have good keyboards. Like if you have a, a desktop keyboard at home and you can add a second keyboard, you know, like buy a mechanical keyboard-

Erik Griffin 9:12 Oh, right, right, right.

Joe Rogan 9:12 If you are a writer, if you like to write, y- ... the, the problem with Apple keyboards is there's no key travel. It's very l- very shallow. So it's like, uh, just a tiny movement. Click, click, click, click, click. W- what I use is I use a ThinkPad. And then one of the reasons why I use a ThinkPad is there's like travel to these keys.

Erik Griffin 9:30 Oh.

Joe Rogan 9:31 Like this k- ... these keys have motion to them.

Erik Griffin 9:34 Okay.

Joe Rogan 9:34 Like if you-

Erik Griffin 9:35 You're just-

Joe Rogan 9:35 You-

Erik Griffin 9:35 You're old school.

Joe Rogan 9:36 Yeah. Well, the thing is you feel where the keys are. You feel. Like so as you're typing, I can just look at the screen and I don't, I don't have to look down at the keyboard. And they've depressed with your fingers, like you f- you have ... there's motion to it. So there's no accidental pressing of the keys.

Erik Griffin 9:52 Did you take typing in high school?

Joe Rogan 9:54 Yes.

Erik Griffin 9:54 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 9:54 I don't remember any of it though.

Erik Griffin 9:56 Yeah, me too.

Joe Rogan 9:57 Yeah.

Erik Griffin 9:57 I my h- my high school year was the last year that they had typing at my school.

Joe Rogan 10:01 Really?

Erik Griffin 10:01 Yeah. I remember-

Joe Rogan 10:02 The last year?

Erik Griffin 10:03 They, they des- ... they were saying like, "This is no longer ..." 'Cause they, they had a computer class that they were starting. I just thought, "Damn." Like I look back on this things and I just go, wow, the, the ... how times have changed. Our generation is this like generation that is like we went through the first of all of these things. I had a Commodore 64. I-

Joe Rogan 10:22 Did you?

Erik Griffin 10:22 Yes. I remember the first Apple laptop.

Joe Rogan 10:25 Mm.

Erik Griffin 10:25 I rememb- I remember like when game systems changed and color TV and call waiting and, uh, like all the things that we w- you know, there-

Joe Rogan 10:33 Answering machines.

Erik Griffin 10:34 Answering machines and then n- then no more answering machines and-

Joe Rogan 10:38 Yeah, could you even buy an answering machine today?

Erik Griffin 10:39 N- n- n- nine, seven, six numbers and, you know, like all, all of that stuff was like-

Joe Rogan 10:44 No sex lines?

Erik Griffin 10:45 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 10:45 Yeah.

Erik Griffin 10:46 You could call like ... Oh God, I got in trouble one time. Like thank God I was calling a Christmas ...

Joe Rogan 10:50 (laughs)

Erik Griffin 10:50 I was gonna call the Christmas one first and then I was gonna call a sex one. And then I called the Christmas one first and then my mom picks up the other line and I hang up. And then my mom's like, uh, "Erica, are you talking to Santa Claus?" (laughs)

Joe Rogan 11:02 Oh, shit. How old were you at the time?

Erik Griffin 11:04 I was like s- like, I don't know, 13 or something like that.

Joe Rogan 11:06 Ah.

Erik Griffin 11:07 You know, like just getting into your, you know. So like even just ... even how we find porn is different now. Like-

Joe Rogan 11:12 Yeah.

Erik Griffin 11:12 You know, and so like, and when I'm li- I'm thinking about you l- talking about this keyboard, it still has a little bit of old school to it. It has a old school feel to what you're saying, you know. You still have a ... Anytime somebody's using Windows, I know it's like, oh, they're, they're connected to the past still.

Joe Rogan 11:25 Well, I just switched over to it recently, but I, I fucked around with a ThinkPad one day and I was like, "Wow, this keyboard is so much better." 'Cause I have a, a MacBook too, one of them new MacBook Pros with the-

Erik Griffin 11:36 Oh, you just, you just can't handle ... use that key- yeah, yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 11:38 It's just not good.

Erik Griffin 11:39 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 11:39 It's just not a good keyboard.

Erik Griffin 11:40 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 11:40 It's shit. It's, it's not just bad. It's shit.

Erik Griffin 11:44 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 11:44 ... it's shit-

Erik Griffin 11:45 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 11:45 ... and there's no options. Like, if you want a laptop, th- they don't give you options t- for keyboards.

Erik Griffin 11:50 Yeah, you can't customize the... Nah, I get it.

Joe Rogan 11:52 No. And you can't get a different one. Like, if you want Windows, you can get an Asus, you can get a th- a Lenovo.

Erik Griffin 11:57 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 11:58 You can get... You... I mean, there's a shit ton. You can get a Dell.

Erik Griffin 12:00 Well, your desktop though, I have an iMac-

Joe Rogan 12:02 Yeah.

Erik Griffin 12:02 ... you can, you can hook up-

Joe Rogan 12:02 Sure. Yeah, with a desktop.

Erik Griffin 12:04 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 12:04 But the problem is most of my shit I go on the... Oh, "Third class action lawsuit over MacBook Pro keyboard alleges flop- fraudulent concealment."

Erik Griffin 12:12 This guy's a research king right here. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 12:14 Yeah, but see... But look at that keyboard. Look how fucking shallow-

Erik Griffin 12:17 Yeah, I know.

Joe Rogan 12:17 ... those keys are.

Erik Griffin 12:18 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 12:18 That's bullshit.

Erik Griffin 12:19 Well, that's to keep it thin, man.

Joe Rogan 12:20 But it doesn't matter. That's bad for a writer. If you're a writer, that's a shitty design.

Erik Griffin 12:24 Remember how thick the...

Joe Rogan 12:26 Yeah, but make it a little thicker. Jesus Christ, who gives a fuck if it's a extra half a millimeter if it... you have good keyboard feel? I mean, it depends on what you're doing. If you're the type of person that just writes an email every now and then... But I fucking write. I need a keyboard.

Erik Griffin 12:41 I feel you, man.

Joe Rogan 12:42 I need a... So, I switched-

Erik Griffin 12:43 And something that could take a beating too.

Joe Rogan 12:44 Yeah, I still fuck around with that when I... You know, I still have it, so I fuck around with that if I, if I travel, if I go online, if I'm just, just s- web surfing. It's fine for that.

Erik Griffin 12:54 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 12:54 But it sucks a fat one when it deals with-

Erik Griffin 12:57 See, that's what I'm saying, I'm already getting-

Joe Rogan 12:57 What'd you get a text message?

Erik Griffin 12:58 Yeah, I'm already getting like, you know, messages about this, you know what I mean?

Joe Rogan 13:00 Ah!

Erik Griffin 13:00 It's just coming to the phone, you know? (laughs)

Joe Rogan 13:04 (laughs)

Erik Griffin 13:04 My phone's gonna like... The, the only time my phone has blown up like this before is when, uh, Justin Bieber posted a picture with h- him on... With-

Joe Rogan 13:10 With you?

Erik Griffin 13:10 Yeah. On, on his Instagram. And then my phone was shaking, shaking for, for, for a month straight.

Joe Rogan 13:17 Just from the notifications?

Erik Griffin 13:18 Like, I'm like... I, I turn on the notif- I say, "You guys..." Nobody believed me. Let me turn on the notifications and I put it down like this and it's just like... (mimics phone vibrating) Like, I'm talking about. That guy-

Joe Rogan 13:26 Thousands of notifications.

Erik Griffin 13:26 He could... That guy could topple a government if he really wanted to like... if he got political. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 13:30 Right, that's a problem.

Erik Griffin 13:32 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 13:33 I mean, that's what we're dealing with with Trump, a famous person who becomes the president. I mean, this little kid is only 24, right? What the fuck ha- Is he ev- is he even 24? 23?

Erik Griffin 13:42 Yeah, he just turned 24, yeah.

Jamie Vernon 13:43 Not really.

Joe Rogan 13:43 Okay.

Erik Griffin 13:44 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 13:44 Jamie's hating. Jamie's hating.

Jamie Vernon 13:45 I didn't. I didn't.

Erik Griffin 13:45 No, he's not.

Jamie Vernon 13:46 I did.

Erik Griffin 13:46 He's actually a good kid, you know, he really is. But if I gave you... If I gave you $100 million and no parental supervision, you'd do some dumb shit too.

Joe Rogan 13:53 He'd do way worse.

Erik Griffin 13:54 Yeah, but I, I, I... Listen, right now, I would do a lot of dumb shit if you gave me $100 million.

Joe Rogan 13:58 Yeah.

Erik Griffin 13:59 Just out of nowhere, you know.

Joe Rogan 14:00 Out of nowhere. Yeah.

Erik Griffin 14:01 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 14:01 He's done well for, for the... what he is, you know, the kind of fame that that guy possesses.

Erik Griffin 14:07 (sighs)

Joe Rogan 14:07 He's off the charts famous.

Erik Griffin 14:08 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 14:09 It's like-

Erik Griffin 14:09 But, but then so was, so was Trump. Trump was-

Joe Rogan 14:11 Yeah.

Erik Griffin 14:11 ... super famous.

Joe Rogan 14:12 Super, super famous.

Erik Griffin 14:13 You know.

Joe Rogan 14:13 Yeah.

Erik Griffin 14:14 This is why, this is why we can't get rid of the electoral college though, by the way. Not to get political, but-

Joe Rogan 14:17 It does help, but I mean did... He rigged that. I mean-

Erik Griffin 14:20 But you can't have-

Joe Rogan 14:21 He didn't rig it but played the game well, I should say.

Erik Griffin 14:22 But you can't have a popularity contest.

Joe Rogan 14:24 But it is a popularity contest no matter what, even with the electoral college. You just have to be popular in Iowa, popular in Ohio, know how to r- do that. Just go over there and talk about Muslims.

Erik Griffin 14:34 I don't know-

Joe Rogan 14:34 Shake your fist.

Erik Griffin 14:35 Why don't we... I don't... I still don't understand why we don't just have online voting-

Joe Rogan 14:40 Voting. Absolutely.

Erik Griffin 14:41 ... or like, or like... or with their phone. Like, you have to have a phone-

Joe Rogan 14:44 Preach.

Erik Griffin 14:44 ... and then you register your phone so that IMIE number that your phone has is, is, is strictly for you.

Joe Rogan 14:50 Yeah.

Erik Griffin 14:51 They, they already have, uh... What do you call it? Like facial recognition software. Uh, you could... Yo-

Joe Rogan 14:56 Yeah.

Erik Griffin 14:56 Their phones have fingerprint.

Joe Rogan 14:57 Yeah.

Erik Griffin 14:57 So there's like three different ways to like register-

Joe Rogan 15:00 Mm-hmm.

Erik Griffin 15:00 ... and then you'll get everyone's vote. I always say votes should be like the Columbia DVD had them. Remember Columbia DVDs?

Joe Rogan 15:06 Oh, they would just... They planned on-

Erik Griffin 15:07 They would just send them.

Joe Rogan 15:08 ... just giving it to you free.

Erik Griffin 15:09 You know, you... So use your... Your... So if you're a Republican, right?

Joe Rogan 15:12 Yeah.

Erik Griffin 15:12 Then your vote goes to the Republican until you go, "I don't want this Republican." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 15:16 I wonder what the numbers of people that... If people don't know what we're talking about with Columbia DVD because we're old, but back in the day you would sign up for like cassette tapes-

Erik Griffin 15:25 Yes.

Joe Rogan 15:25 ... and they would send you a bunch of cassettes. Like you would pick like what you liked.

Erik Griffin 15:29 It was like a book club too. Book club.

Joe Rogan 15:30 Yeah, yeah, that too. But they would send them to you, but it was only like a dollar and you would get like 15 cassettes, you know-

Erik Griffin 15:35 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 15:35 ... you get like Aerosmith and... Is it still around?

Erik Griffin 15:38 They still got it.

Jamie Vernon 15:38 It's still on. It's still on.

Erik Griffin 15:39 But-

Joe Rogan 15:39 Get the fuck out of here.

Erik Griffin 15:40 No, but check it out. They finally made it so they don't just send it automatically because people were qu- people were quitting the service.

Joe Rogan 15:47 Yeah.

Erik Griffin 15:47 But they would just send you... So you would pay and you had like say three days and if you, if you didn't send it back, they would charge you the $9.

Joe Rogan 15:55 Right.

Erik Griffin 15:56 So that's what I'm saying about voting. This is how we should vote. Like-

Joe Rogan 15:59 $35 is expensive.

Erik Griffin 15:59 Like that page right there he's showing us should be like all your candidates for Democrat and if you don't-

Joe Rogan 16:05 Wait a minute.

Erik Griffin 16:05 ... you have three days to pick and if you don't pick, your vote goes to them. That's how they should do it.

Joe Rogan 16:09 Show me, show me what you just showed me. What are you doing? What'd you show me?

Jamie Vernon 16:11 I just clicked on the, clicked on the details.

Joe Rogan 16:12 What does it say?

Jamie Vernon 16:13 It says it's $35 for like two or something like that.

Joe Rogan 16:16 Okay, free shipping is only eligible for orders of two or more DVDs with a subtotal of $35.

Jamie Vernon 16:21 Oh, okay.

Erik Griffin 16:21 Same.

Joe Rogan 16:22 Pre-orders are not eligible for free shipping.

Jamie Vernon 16:24 I don't know what this is.

Joe Rogan 16:25 Okay, so they say that it's free shipping but it's not free shipping. Is that what they're doing?

Erik Griffin 16:29 And they say it's 9.95 each-

Joe Rogan 16:31 Yeah, look.

Erik Griffin 16:31 ... but, but-

Joe Rogan 16:31 Free shipping on two plus-

Erik Griffin 16:32 ... that's more than $35. (laughs)

Jamie Vernon 16:34 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 16:34 Look at that. Free shipping on two plus DVDs, but the DVDs are 9.95.

Erik Griffin 16:38 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 16:38 So two plus is what? Four, because it has to be more than $35. You fucking crooks.

Erik Griffin 16:44 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 16:44 They're all crooks. The record companies are so gross. Dude, I've been talking to people... I had Steven Tyler in here, was explaining what happens now with streaming services.

Erik Griffin 16:53 And that was great, by the way.

Joe Rogan 16:54 Oh, thank you. He's great, right?

Erik Griffin 16:56 Yes. Uh, uh, fascinating.

Joe Rogan 16:58 He's a trip. Fascinating. I mean, you want to talk about a guy who's seen it all.

Erik Griffin 17:01 I'm never surprised when a... someone like that, with that type of personality, I'm not surprised that you see the kind of life and career he's had.

Joe Rogan 17:08 Yeah.

Erik Griffin 17:08 Those people aren't... They're, they're a notch above the norm.

Joe Rogan 17:12 Yeah, he's definitely a notch above the norm. He's a super sweet guy too.

Erik Griffin 17:15 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 17:15 Nice to everybody. Just all hugging everybody and real friendly.

Erik Griffin 17:19 Well, he's already had his time of being like-

Joe Rogan 17:20 Yeah.

Erik Griffin 17:20 I'm sure there was a time in his life-

Joe Rogan 17:22 When he was a dick?

Erik Griffin 17:22 ... where he was a super dick.

Joe Rogan 17:23 (laughs) You think so?

Erik Griffin 17:24 Oh, come on, dude.

Joe Rogan 17:24 Some guys hang on to that.

Erik Griffin 17:25 You don't get that famous, you don't get that famous at, at the time when people are treating you like just a god, you know, everywhere you went. I mean, he... The, the... Rock star.

Joe Rogan 17:35 I bet there's some people-

Erik Griffin 17:35 That was the pinnacle. Rock star-

Joe Rogan 17:37 Right.

Erik Griffin 17:37 ... A-list s- uh, A-list actor, professional athlete.... that, that's the order.

Joe Rogan 17:42 But do you think they have to be dicks?

Erik Griffin 17:44 No, no, no.

Joe Rogan 17:44 Or do you think they become dicks be- just because, here's my theory about that, is that the, the fame, that level of fame is overwhelming.

Erik Griffin 17:51 Yes.

Joe Rogan 17:51 People grabbing at you all the time, so you just develop this dicky thing, just to keep people the fuck away from you.

Erik Griffin 17:56 Yes.

Joe Rogan 17:57 Like, if you get to that, I would imagine, like, that Michael Jordan or, uh, (blows raspberries) , even Bieber.

Erik Griffin 18:04 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 18:04 I mean, that, there's a level where you can't go anywhere.

Erik Griffin 18:06 Listen, I've been a- I've been around Bieber.

Joe Rogan 18:08 Yeah? What's it like?

Erik Griffin 18:09 He's not an, uh, I don't, uh, he's never alone. He's-

Joe Rogan 18:12 Never.

Erik Griffin 18:12 ... always got somebody there.

Joe Rogan 18:14 Right.

Erik Griffin 18:14 I don't think he trusts anyone. And that level of fla- fame, where you're just also used to, you know, "Hey, get me a water. Uh, get the car."

Joe Rogan 18:24 Right.

Erik Griffin 18:24 "I wanna go here. I wanna..." When you get used to... That becomes normal.

Joe Rogan 18:28 Just telling people.

Erik Griffin 18:29 Just telling people what to do becomes normal.

Joe Rogan 18:31 (laughs)

Erik Griffin 18:31 Listen, dude, I was at a, I was at a, a party, and he was, he was there, and he's, he's, like, playing his music for his new album. And he just looks at me and he says, "Hey, can you get me a, can you get me a vodka?" He says, "Get me a vodka," I think, and then I went, I was like, "Oh, okay." You know, I-

Joe Rogan 18:45 (laughs)

Erik Griffin 18:46 (Laughs) And I goes... (laughs) Like, uh, I was so mad at myself.

Joe Rogan 18:50 (laughs)

Erik Griffin 18:52 (laughs) Because I'm over here, like, "Uh, I gotta get vod- uh, uh, you know, uh, I'm going-"

Joe Rogan 18:54 Yeah. "Excuse me. Gotta go."

Erik Griffin 18:55 "Justin needs a vodka. Just get, everybody get out of the way. I gotta go get this vodka for Justin."

Joe Rogan 18:58 "You gotta go. Real time."

Erik Griffin 18:58 Yeah. And then, uh, when I gave it to him, I thought, "I should've said no." I thought-

Joe Rogan 19:02 Yeah.

Erik Griffin 19:03 I, I, I just thought-

Joe Rogan 19:03 You should've said, "Bitch, get your own vodka."

Erik Griffin 19:04 What the fuck? Get your own fucking vod- 40 something years old. (laughs) What the fuck are you doing?

Joe Rogan 19:07 Like, what the fuck are you doing?

Erik Griffin 19:07 You are-

Joe Rogan 19:07 Playing the piano?

Erik Griffin 19:08 You know, uh...

Joe Rogan 19:09 Get the fuck outta here.

Erik Griffin 19:10 Dude, same thing, I was at the Laugh Factory-

Joe Rogan 19:13 (laughs)

Erik Griffin 19:13 ... and he was there. He was watching. And then Scooter, who's a buddy of mine, Scooter Braun, you know. Scooter comes down, you know, and he says, "Hey, uh, yeah, Eric, uh, Justin would like to see you." And I, and I, at first I was like, "You're, you're, you don't summon-"

Joe Rogan 19:25 Well... He knows how to walk.

Erik Griffin 19:25 Wait, you don't summon me.

Joe Rogan 19:28 (laughs)

Erik Griffin 19:29 But of course, I was like, "All right, let's go." You know what I mean? (laughs)

Joe Rogan 19:33 (laughs)

Erik Griffin 19:33 I went, and then, like (laughs) , and then I saw him too, and I was like, I realized, like, uh, 'cause I'm a, I'm a nerd this way. I mean, I, like, I'm a fan of all types of music. So, I'm a, I think the kid's dynamic. I think-

Joe Rogan 19:42 He's very talented.

Erik Griffin 19:42 I don't think it's a surprise that he's this famous.

Joe Rogan 19:44 Right.

Erik Griffin 19:44 You know what I mean? People get on him, you know... Just, by the way, in defense of Bieber, real fast, you can't tell somebody they're great since they're eight years old.

Joe Rogan 19:53 Right.

Erik Griffin 19:53 You can't... They're, eight years old, "You're great. You're great." And when he's nine, "You're great."

Joe Rogan 19:57 Yeah.

Erik Griffin 19:57 When he's 10, "You're great." When he's 11, "You're great." Think about that. Then at 13 is probably when he first went, "Well, am I? Yeah, p-" you know. And then 15, he was like, "I'm not great. I am great." At 18, "I'm fucking great." Now and then, when, when he finally says it, then that's when everybody goes, "Whoa, bro." (imitates buzzing) "Tone it down." It's too late. The monster's already been let loose.

Joe Rogan 20:19 Well, he's already mature, right? He's already become a, an actual adult. And he probably has no cum left in his body-

Erik Griffin 20:28 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 20:28 ... at any given time. He's just, he's shooting loads-

Erik Griffin 20:32 Dude.

Joe Rogan 20:32 ... all day long. It's just recovery time for him.

Erik Griffin 20:35 He's got... If he tweeted, "I need some pussy tonight."

Joe Rogan 20:38 Oh, it'd be outta control.

Erik Griffin 20:39 It would be like American Idol auditions.

Joe Rogan 20:41 Uh, would be crazier than that. It'd be the, have you seen that, uh, Guatemalan volcano eruption?

Erik Griffin 20:46 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 20:46 Have you seen that? Where people are running-

Erik Griffin 20:49 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 20:49 ... from the smog?

Erik Griffin 20:50 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 20:50 It's fucking crazy.

Erik Griffin 20:51 It would be girls, guys-

Joe Rogan 20:52 Yeah.

Erik Griffin 20:52 It wouldn't even just be, you know-

Joe Rogan 20:53 Yeah, it would be like that much pussy coming down the mountain, headed towards you. It's, it's, that Guatemala eruption is fucking scary, man.

Erik Griffin 21:01 There's nothing like that in, in comedy, other than-

Joe Rogan 21:03 No.

Erik Griffin 21:03 ... Chris D'Elia.

Joe Rogan 21:04 (laughs)

Erik Griffin 21:04 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 21:04 Yeah, he's close. He's close. But even that, look at this.

Erik Griffin 21:08 Look at this.

Joe Rogan 21:08 Guatemala, most violent eruption in more than 100 years. 25 people already dead.

Erik Griffin 21:12 Oh, sure.

Joe Rogan 21:13 I just, I think it just happened yesterday. It's fucking crazy, man.

Erik Griffin 21:17 Uh, but the-

Joe Rogan 21:17 Dozens of people have died after it erupted, yeah, Sunday.

Erik Griffin 21:19 The Earth is getting back at us.

Joe Rogan 21:21 Dude, that's two, right? Hawaii and this one.

Erik Griffin 21:24 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 21:24 I mean, we gotta be real fucking careful.

Erik Griffin 21:26 I'm surprised New Zealand hasn't had a couple eruptions.

Joe Rogan 21:28 Oh. Do they have, like, a live volcano in New Zealand?

Erik Griffin 21:31 I just know they, I think, I, I... Can you d- uh, ch- fact check this, but I think New Zealand has the most volcanoes in the world?

Joe Rogan 21:36 What?

Erik Griffin 21:37 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 21:37 Really?

Erik Griffin 21:38 Yeah, yeah. Well, I was just there.

Joe Rogan 21:39 God. How great is that?

Erik Griffin 21:39 You know, you go on one of those tours, and they're like, you know...

Joe Rogan 21:42 What'd you do over there?

Erik Griffin 21:42 Well, I went to the Cook Islands.

Joe Rogan 21:44 Ooh, Captain Cook Islands?

Erik Griffin 21:45 Yeah, the Cook Islands, man. It's-

Joe Rogan 21:47 Where the pirates showed up?

Erik Griffin 21:47 Yeah. Beautiful vacation. And, and there's no Americans, which is what I love. You know, I can't get, I can't stand going some place and it's just all Americans.

Joe Rogan 21:56 Right.

Erik Griffin 21:56 Like, I don't go to Ensenada-

Joe Rogan 21:58 Right.

Erik Griffin 21:58 ... uh, you know-

Joe Rogan 21:58 What's in Ensenada? Mexico?

Erik Griffin 21:58 You know, you might as well go to Venice Beach, you know?

Joe Rogan 22:00 Right, right, right.

Erik Griffin 22:01 I don't wanna be around, like, the same-

Joe Rogan 22:02 That's how Maui is.

Erik Griffin 22:03 Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't like going to Hawaii either.

Joe Rogan 22:05 Maui is basically Beverly Hills.

Erik Griffin 22:06 Espe- yeah.

Joe Rogan 22:07 Beverly Hills gone in a jet.

Erik Griffin 22:08 With water.

Joe Rogan 22:09 Yeah. Volcano map of New Zealand. Jesus Christ.

Erik Griffin 22:13 Yeah, see.

Joe Rogan 22:13 All these fucking volcanoes (laughs) .

Erik Griffin 22:15 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 22:15 One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18 volcanoes? Is that right?

Erik Griffin 22:23 Yeah, like, you can't lie on this show 'cause this guy's gonna fact check you right away.

Jamie Vernon 22:26 13, yeah.

Erik Griffin 22:27 Yeah, well-

Joe Rogan 22:28 God.

Jamie Vernon 22:28 He says you got-

Joe Rogan 22:28 That is insane.

Erik Griffin 22:30 But I'm telling you right now, beautiful vacation.

Joe Rogan 22:32 Oh, I bet.

Erik Griffin 22:32 I didn't like actually, like, New Zealand. Like, I went to Auckland. I thought, "I'm driving around downtown LA."

Joe Rogan 22:39 Oh, you mean, like, the city?

Erik Griffin 22:40 Or Seattle or something. I didn't like the city. I'm not a city guy. I like this kinda shit. I like some outdoors, nature, beaches.

Joe Rogan 22:45 Yeah. Well, the nature there is stunning.

Erik Griffin 22:47 I wanna look out my, the b- hotel window and, uh, uh, the, the sliding door, and, like, there's sand.

Joe Rogan 22:53 Right.

Erik Griffin 22:53 And then, like, the water is, like, right there.

Joe Rogan 22:55 Or mountains.

Erik Griffin 22:56 Yeah, m- yeah, exactly.

Joe Rogan 22:57 Something.

Erik Griffin 22:57 Rain forest.

Joe Rogan 22:58 Yeah.

Erik Griffin 22:59 Something...

Joe Rogan 22:59 Something.

Erik Griffin 22:59 Something, something that's different from this urban jungle that we live in all the time.

Joe Rogan 23:03 You ever been to Costa Rica?

Erik Griffin 23:04 I have been to Co- oh, god.

Joe Rogan 23:06 Oh.

Erik Griffin 23:06 Just went to Costa Rica with my girlfriend. Uh, we just started to get together and it, it was, it was good and bad.

Joe Rogan 23:10 Just started to get together-

Erik Griffin 23:11 Yeah, we were-

Joe Rogan 23:12 ... and you took her to Costa Rica.

Erik Griffin 23:12 Yeah. Well, I mean, we were-

Joe Rogan 23:14 That's a bold move, sir.

Erik Griffin 23:14 I mean, it was. It was, it was too soon.

Joe Rogan 23:16 Bold move, sir.

Jamie Vernon 23:17 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 23:17 How long were you guys dating?

Erik Griffin 23:18 I, it was too, it was too soon, I thought. Maybe we were, like, four, five months, you know. But it was, like, Christmastime, and I'm, I'm with her. I'm like, "Let me make this special." So we go to Costa Rica, you know. I do it up.

Joe Rogan 23:28 And she went Christmas with y- with you and not the family.

Erik Griffin 23:30 Yeah. Well, she's Jewish, so...

Joe Rogan 23:32 Oh, oh, there you go. There you go.

Erik Griffin 23:32 Yeah. So, you know, they're, they're all monsters. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 23:35 (laughs) .

Erik Griffin 23:35 How dare you? Only kidding.

Joe Rogan 23:36 You gotta be careful with that kinda talk-

Erik Griffin 23:38 I know.

Joe Rogan 23:38 ... in this day and age.

Erik Griffin 23:39 (laughs) I know.

Joe Rogan 23:39 People are g-

Erik Griffin 23:40 There it is. There, that's it.

Joe Rogan 23:41 People are getting after people.

Erik Griffin 23:41 That's my c- career is over. No, I'm just teasing. My girlf- my girlfriend's Jewish. She has a beautiful family. So, uh, she was like, "Well, I don't care about Christmas anyway, so let's go."

Joe Rogan 23:49 Right. Bam.

Erik Griffin 23:49 But I don't go see my mom, who moved to, uh, my parents just moved to Malaga.

Joe Rogan 23:54 Where's that?

Erik Griffin 23:54 In Spain.

Joe Rogan 23:55 Oh, jeez.

Erik Griffin 23:56 They moved to, like, the, the southern tip of Spain, you know, 'cause they, they went on a cruise one day, stopped in Malaga, and then my mom's like, "We gotta come back here." Cost of living is so low. Like, they're living like kings over there. Like, a little... A great two-bedroom condo with, like, a Malibu-type view, €600 euro a month.

Joe Rogan 24:12 What?

Erik Griffin 24:12 Yeah, dude, it's c- I'm telling you right now-

Joe Rogan 24:14 That's crazy.

Erik Griffin 24:15 ... you gotta look up the cost of living in Spain. It's crazy. A lot of people from Britain, they, they retire in Spain because their money goes a lot further.

Joe Rogan 24:22 Oh, I've heard that. I've heard that people go there to avoid taxes from France.

Erik Griffin 24:26 Yeah, it's a lot of stuff, man.

Joe Rogan 24:27 Yeah.

Erik Griffin 24:27 So I take... So we go to Costa Rica, and it was fine. It was great. It was one of these resorts where, like, you could get room service 24 hours.

Joe Rogan 24:35 Right.

Erik Griffin 24:35 Order what you want. It's all covered in the thing. But I got sick, Joe.

Joe Rogan 24:39 Oh, no.

Erik Griffin 24:39 I got... And I knew it was-

Joe Rogan 24:40 Diarrhea sick? Or what kinda sick?

Erik Griffin 24:42 It was every hole in my body-

Joe Rogan 24:44 Ugh.

Erik Griffin 24:44 ... something was coming out of it.

Joe Rogan 24:45 Oof.

Erik Griffin 24:46 Okay? And then, I was trying-

Joe Rogan 24:47 Tropical.

Erik Griffin 24:47 I was in bed. I was telling her. I said, "I don't, I don't feel good." And I ma-... And then as a comic, I'm making a... I made a joke at her that she didn't appreciate. She was mad at me about this joke, so... And I'm also telling her like, "Look, I'm, I'm, I'm feeling well." And then it happened. I get up and I, I, I have to vomit. And then I... There was nothing. I vomited my hands.

Joe Rogan 25:04 Oh.

Erik Griffin 25:04 I run to the bathroom, and then, and then it's just like... It's coming out of both holes, like just... You know?

Joe Rogan 25:10 Ah.

Erik Griffin 25:11 And this is going on for all night. I'm just... I'm, I'm dead. And the way she was acting, oh my God. She-

Joe Rogan 25:17 How was she acting?

Erik Griffin 25:17 She was like, "You're ruining the trip." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 25:19 Whoa.

Erik Griffin 25:20 So at the time I was like-

Joe Rogan 25:22 Ooh.

Erik Griffin 25:22 Ooh. But we weren't as close as we are now. We've, we've since resolved the issue and... But at the time, I was like, "I can't be with somebody-"

Joe Rogan 25:29 Selfish.

Erik Griffin 25:30 "... that's not gonna..." (retches)

Joe Rogan 25:32 Right?

Erik Griffin 25:32 She ordered room service while I was sick, bro.

Joe Rogan 25:34 While you was, while you were sick.

Erik Griffin 25:35 Bro. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 25:35 Wow.

Erik Griffin 25:36 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 25:37 She was already writing it off.

Erik Griffin 25:38 Ju-... Yeah, yeah. She's like, "Well, I'm gonna go ahead and get me a-"

Joe Rogan 25:40 "I'm gonna have a fucking cheeseburger."

Erik Griffin 25:41 And then that was making me more sick.

Joe Rogan 25:43 (laughs)

Erik Griffin 25:43 The food smell. So I'm-

Joe Rogan 25:45 (gags)

Erik Griffin 25:45 So I'm outside.

Joe Rogan 25:47 (laughs)

Erik Griffin 25:48 But then she was like, "I was mad at you for your jokes." And like, you know, she... I always, I always tell her, she goes... She said to me one day, "You know, my brothers, they used to tease me all the time when I was growing up." Then I said, "Then why'd you get with a comic?"

Joe Rogan 26:01 Yeah.

Erik Griffin 26:01 That's... "Something's going on." You know how we say we get with our mother, you know, our, our... You know. Whatever, what the qualities are.

Joe Rogan 26:08 Right.

Erik Griffin 26:08 So I think whatever, whatever you're close to in your life, those-

Joe Rogan 26:10 So she's accustomed to people giving her a hard time.

Erik Griffin 26:12 Give her a hard time.

Joe Rogan 26:13 And it's, even though she didn't like it, she-

Erik Griffin 26:14 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 26:15 ... she went with you.

Erik Griffin 26:15 So I'm, I'm, I'm... We're trying to balance it out, you know. There's gotta be compromise. You gotta meet... You know what I mean? If she's here and you're here, you gotta go like this.

Joe Rogan 26:22 The worst thing ever is when you just start dating someone and you go on a vacation with them and it goes sour. And you're stuck with them for, like, five days in some spot.

Erik Griffin 26:31 And, and it usually happens, by the way, on the plane ride over.

Joe Rogan 26:34 Oh.

Erik Griffin 26:35 There's something that happens on the plane where you're like, "Oh, I don't like you and we're gonna be on this plane for six more hours." And then you know you're gonna get to this hotel... I mean, that's why you have to be compatible with somebody before you travel.

Joe Rogan 26:47 Yeah.

Erik Griffin 26:47 Make sure-

Joe Rogan 26:47 Like, way compatible.

Erik Griffin 26:48 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 26:48 Like way.

Erik Griffin 26:48 You have to make sure, like... The... Even things like, ah, like, I wanna go out and do things.

Joe Rogan 26:53 Right.

Erik Griffin 26:53 Maybe if you're an outdoorsy person and you wanna, like, leave the hotel, or maybe you're not. Maybe you're a person that, like, wants to take advantage of everything in the hotel or you're on vacation and you wanna chill. That has to be established or you're gonna be in a situation where you're like, "What are we still doing in the hotel?"

Joe Rogan 27:08 Right.

Erik Griffin 27:08 Or, or the other person's like, "I don't wanna go."

Joe Rogan 27:10 Right.

Erik Griffin 27:10 "Why are we going out?"

Joe Rogan 27:12 "I like margaritas by the beach."

Erik Griffin 27:14 I like... (laughs) Right.

Joe Rogan 27:14 "I just wanna drink margaritas-"

Erik Griffin 27:15 So.

Joe Rogan 27:16 "... and then fall asleep and hear the waves."

Erik Griffin 27:19 We survived though, uh, we survived it. You know, we, we-

Joe Rogan 27:22 She made you change your phone though. That's kinda fucked up.

Erik Griffin 27:24 I know. That was the compromise.

Joe Rogan 27:24 As soon as it's over, bro.

Erik Griffin 27:26 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 27:26 As soon as it's over, you're going right back to Sam.

Erik Griffin 27:28 Back to Samsa. Back to... (laughs)

Joe Rogan 27:29 Aren't you?

Erik Griffin 27:29 I'm gonna be the Andrew... Yeah.

Joe Rogan 27:31 (laughs)

Erik Griffin 27:31 I don't know, I don't know if it's gonna be over. We're coming up on a year.

Joe Rogan 27:34 Oh, shit.

Erik Griffin 27:35 Yeah, we're coming up on a year.

Joe Rogan 27:36 Goddamn. That gets scary.

Erik Griffin 27:36 But I hear people... You know what it is? It's you, people like you, it's your fucking fault.

Joe Rogan 27:40 It can work.

Erik Griffin 27:40 You're on stage talking about your great family and, and just how-

Joe Rogan 27:44 'Cause you want a family.

Erik Griffin 27:45 ... and how you deal with it. Yeah, you think about these things, man.

Joe Rogan 27:47 How, how old are you now?

Erik Griffin 27:48 I'm 46.

Joe Rogan 27:49 So are you thinking about shooting live ones in there, making, making little jokes?

Erik Griffin 27:51 Um, I'm thinking about, like, "You know what? Maybe it's time..." You know what it is? It's, like, once... I, I've, I'm not super successful, but I've enjoyed my career.

Joe Rogan 27:59 Right.

Erik Griffin 27:59 And now I'm like, "Oh, I enjoy this. I wanna share this with someone that really cares about me." And I... And one thing I'll say for her, she, she... I feel the love, you know.

Joe Rogan 28:07 That's awesome.

Erik Griffin 28:08 Yeah, I really do feel the love. She's a very loving woman, uh, very beautiful.

Joe Rogan 28:11 And so she got used to you after a while and understands your jokingness-

Erik Griffin 28:15 Yeah. Right, right.

Joe Rogan 28:15 ... and appreciates you?

Erik Griffin 28:16 I'm gonna-

Joe Rogan 28:17 Knows you're a good guy?

Erik Griffin 28:17 I'll tell you something that she did that... This is why me even talking about her right now, something that... She moved me, Joe.

Joe Rogan 28:23 Aw.

Erik Griffin 28:23 The other day, we were having, like, a little fight.

Joe Rogan 28:26 Little fight.

Erik Griffin 28:27 A little fight.

Joe Rogan 28:27 Right.

Erik Griffin 28:27 And then it was obviously, I was like, "We're not communicating," I told her. You know what she did? She downloaded Communicating With Your Man audiobook and she... And we sat and listened to it together.

Joe Rogan 28:40 Boom.

Erik Griffin 28:41 And it was like-

Joe Rogan 28:42 "That's why I quit. I'm out."

Erik Griffin 28:43 But check it, check this.

Joe Rogan 28:44 (laughs)

Erik Griffin 28:45 No, but check this.

Joe Rogan 28:45 "I changed my phone number, threw my phone in the ocean."

Erik Griffin 28:47 This is it. It was like, it was like, it was like, the, the guy that wrote the book was talking about her. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 28:55 Really?

Erik Griffin 28:55 That was the best part about it. He was like, it would be like, something like, you know, "You know what you shouldn't do with your man is don't have a, a look on your face of disgust when you, when you're mad." It was like all these things and then, and then there was one moment where I'm going like this, I had my hands in the air and it was like, "If your man's body language, if he has his hands in the air..." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 29:13 (laughs)

Erik Griffin 29:13 "... that's your time to back off."

Joe Rogan 29:15 Right.

Erik Griffin 29:15 And I was like, "This... Did you date this guy? 'Cause he's talking about you right now." You know what I mean?

Joe Rogan 29:20 Ah.

Erik Griffin 29:20 But I thought the, the gesture of being like, "Hey, I need to improve. I need to, like, change how I feel or, or, like, you know, maybe look at... Self- self-reflect." The... That, that act of, that self-reflection with her, that, that was... That speak, speak volumes for her and her character.

Joe Rogan 29:38 Mm-hmm.

Erik Griffin 29:38 And it really made me go, "Okay, you really wanna... You wanna make this work." And I'm-

Joe Rogan 29:42 That's awesome.

Erik Griffin 29:42 Yeah. So I said, "Okay, I wanna make it work too."

Joe Rogan 29:44 How old is she?

Erik Griffin 29:45 29.

Joe Rogan 29:46 Oh, okay.Yeah. So, she's at that age.

Erik Griffin 29:48 I should not have said that. I'm gonna-

Joe Rogan 29:49 No, it's a good age.

Erik Griffin 29:50 ... get in so much trouble.

Joe Rogan 29:51 Why? You're not supposed to tell ages?

Erik Griffin 29:52 I'm not supposed to tell her, like, she, she won't... (sighs) Oh, God. Well, the cat's out the bag now, so fuck it, right?

Joe Rogan 29:58 (laughs)

Erik Griffin 29:59 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 29:59 You didn't say her name.

Erik Griffin 30:00 I... No! You can just go to my Instagram, you can just see-

Joe Rogan 30:02 Ah, shit.

Erik Griffin 30:03 Oh, my God. I'm so sor-... Oh, God, I'm in trouble.

Joe Rogan 30:05 That's a good age.

Erik Griffin 30:05 This is what I said.

Joe Rogan 30:06 Ah, she's a young lady. What's the problem?

Erik Griffin 30:07 Yes, I know. I know. She might be- But that's part of the problem. You know what I mean? But no, but she... No, 'cause she, she, w- doesn't want people to know.

Joe Rogan 30:12 Right.

Erik Griffin 30:13 I get it. So, she wants, she wants people to know, th- think she's 23. Oh. So, I s- so, I said, "Hey, that, that makes me look like-" A creeper. "... a creeper!" Yeah. Even the, even this age difference is a little iffy, right? (laughs)

Joe Rogan 30:24 That's so... It's like, it's weird how we just make rules as to how old someone can be to be with someone else. But it changes after a while, right? Like, once you get... Like, if the dude is, like, 90-

Erik Griffin 30:38 He's gotta be eight.

Joe Rogan 30:38 ... and the woman's 50, we don't give a fuck.

Erik Griffin 30:40 Don't give a fuck.

Joe Rogan 30:40 Whatever.

Erik Griffin 30:41 No, no, I-

Joe Rogan 30:41 40, 40-year difference (laughs)

Erik Griffin 30:42 No, no. What I, I always say, to me, it's like, it's gotta be 30. (groans) Like, you know, like, she's at the cusp of it. I think, like-

Joe Rogan 30:48 Uh-huh.

Erik Griffin 30:48 ... I think once a woman gets to, like, 28, 29, 30, in that age range, then this, the other part, it doesn't matter. Depending on what they got going on in their life, but age-

Joe Rogan 30:56 Right.

Erik Griffin 30:56 It's not about the age, it's about experience level. It's about where are you in your life? So, the, the one, one thing I struggle with is that, like, look, I'm knee-deep in my career.

Joe Rogan 31:04 Mm-hmm.

Erik Griffin 31:04 But I remember when, when I was 30, I wasn't doing this. I was b-

Joe Rogan 31:08 Right.

Erik Griffin 31:08 I had just started.

Joe Rogan 31:09 You were hustling.

Erik Griffin 31:10 I was hustling at th- so, I go, I have to remember that, that this is her hustle years.

Joe Rogan 31:14 So, you started doing standup at 30?

Erik Griffin 31:15 Yeah, yeah, yeah. I, I-

Joe Rogan 31:16 That's a good, that's, that's a late start, right?

Erik Griffin 31:18 I started, I went to a comedy class when I was in my early 20s, 'cause my mom's one of those supportive women. I said, "Hey, Mom, I think I wanna be a comedian." Next day, I'm signed up at the, at, at UCLA Extension, you know, and I... With a notebook, and like, she's like, "Here's a notebook."

Joe Rogan 31:33 Really?

Erik Griffin 31:33 Yeah, yeah. That's all my mom. If I said I wanted to be a rock-

Joe Rogan 31:35 That's amazing.

Erik Griffin 31:35 If I said I wanted to be a rock climber, my mom was like, "Okay." She go... She would've bought ropes and, like, hooked me up with the... 'Cause she wanted me out of the fucking house (laughs) , you know what I mean?

Joe Rogan 31:43 Right, right.

Erik Griffin 31:43 She wanted me, like, when I was young, you know? Uh, so I went to the class taught by Sandi Shaw.

Joe Rogan 31:48 Oh, Jesus.

Erik Griffin 31:48 Yeah, yeah. It was a, uh... (sighs) I thought, I thought, "This is gonna be it."

Joe Rogan 31:52 Sandi Shaw's daughter?

Erik Griffin 31:53 Her mom... Her, her, her mom owns The Comedy Store. I'm gonna make it, you know?

Joe Rogan 31:56 How bad was the advice?

Erik Griffin 31:58 The a-... (sighs) Look at you. Wow. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 32:02 (laughs)

Erik Griffin 32:02 This, this, this motherfucker right here, boy.

Joe Rogan 32:05 (laughs)

Erik Griffin 32:06 Whoo! Joe Rogan trying to start shit!

Joe Rogan 32:08 Excuse me, how good was the advice?

Erik Griffin 32:10 It wasn't good. Come on.

Joe Rogan 32:11 I, I, I must... I misspoke.

Erik Griffin 32:12 Can I, can I tell you this?

Joe Rogan 32:13 Yes.

Erik Griffin 32:13 This is, uh... I really, I, I, I, I need... It, I, I suggest to anyone, if you wanna be a comic, go to one comedy class, just for the comfort of the environment and the support.

Joe Rogan 32:24 Right.

Erik Griffin 32:24 Go to one comedy class. But after that, you gotta get out there to the open mics, and you gotta-

Joe Rogan 32:27 Yeah.

Erik Griffin 32:27 ... do it on your own. But I suggest one comedy class, all right?

Joe Rogan 32:30 There's nothing wrong with a comedy class.

Erik Griffin 32:31 There's nothing wrong with it. So, I, I went and I loved that, and then the, the... By the way, the au-... The, uh, showcase for the, the graduation was at The Comedy Store in the OR.

Joe Rogan 32:40 Mm.

Erik Griffin 32:41 So, the first time I ever did standup comedy was in the OR at The Comedy Store.

Joe Rogan 32:44 Damn.

Erik Griffin 32:45 You know? And-

Joe Rogan 32:45 What year was this?

Erik Griffin 32:46 It was like '90-something, man. It was like '92-

Joe Rogan 32:48 Wow.

Erik Griffin 32:48 ... '93. And, uh, I... You know what I remember specifically? It was like, after our show, they just rolled into the OR show. First guy on stage, Carlos Mencia.

Joe Rogan 32:58 Wow.

Erik Griffin 32:58 And he goes on, and at the time, he was like, you know, "Taco Bell!" And, you know... (laughs)

Joe Rogan 33:04 (laughs)

Erik Griffin 33:04 Just at that time, he was like... (laughs)

Joe Rogan 33:06 Just that phrase, "At the time, he was like, 'Taco Bell!'

Erik Griffin 33:09 (laughs) You know, he was-

Joe Rogan 33:10 That is fucking hilarious.

Erik Griffin 33:11 And I remember watching him, and I'm... At the time, at the time, I remember watching him, thinking, "I think I can do this." You know? 'Cause I... I had a great set.

Joe Rogan 33:19 Mm-hmm.

Erik Griffin 33:19 I had a great first set, you know? You know how that goes. The supportive people in the crowd, and I'm... You know, I had my, my funny, hacky jokes that I was doing at the time, just my new... what I thought was new. I even remember one of my jokes was like... I, I was like, "How come you can't recognize Superman?" And then I would take my glasses off, you know? Like (laughs) - (laughs) I'd be like, "Look, I'm Clark Kent." Take 'em off. "Superman!" You know, that was like... I thought-

Joe Rogan 33:39 Right.

Erik Griffin 33:39 ... that was hilarious at the time. Um, no Black people on Jeopardy! That was another one of my jokes.

Joe Rogan 33:44 That's a good one.

Erik Griffin 33:45 Yeah, so I had like a... You know, I had Black categories on Jeopardy! Already. You know, blind singers, barbecue holidays. You know, I had... (laughs) I was killing back then with that shit, man. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 33:54 Isn't it brutal though, when you go to a real show-

Erik Griffin 33:57 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 33:57 ... with that shit, and, and you just-

Erik Griffin 33:58 (coughs)

Joe Rogan 33:58 It's crickets? But you're like, but on open mic night... It's weird, right? Like, there's open mic night material, where it does okay on open mic nights, and you're like, "This is some good material. I just gotta develop it."

Erik Griffin 34:09 I don't even think it's even open mic. I think even worse is doing it in front of a crowd. You, you know, this is what happens to get, we're getting sidetracked, but I love it. You know when you... when you go into middle America... When you first were coming up, and you were still a major headliner, and then, like, the local guy will be there.

Joe Rogan 34:22 Right.

Erik Griffin 34:23 That local guy is now gonna be on Joe Rogan's show in Iowa, and he's gonna be performing in front of 200 or 300 people.

Joe Rogan 34:30 Right.

Erik Griffin 34:31 That type of hacky material is gonna kill with those people. Then, then that person now thinks that this is how you do it, and they bring that to LA and New York.

Joe Rogan 34:39 Mm.

Erik Griffin 34:40 And then they're like, "Uh, how come this isn't working?" And then they're seeing like 1,000 other comics doing s-... you know, talking about the same subjects, and then they don't realize how they have to find some originality in what they're doing.

Joe Rogan 34:53 Yeah.

Erik Griffin 34:53 And that's the hard part. That's the hard part. We... There's not a lot of subjects to talk about. You know, you're not the first comic to get married and have daughters.

Joe Rogan 35:01 Right.

Erik Griffin 35:01 But this experience that you had is, is, is personal to you. And conveying that is the hard part.

Joe Rogan 35:09 Right.

Erik Griffin 35:10 You know? And so people kind of go just surface with their material. It's hard to delve deeper, you know?

Joe Rogan 35:15 Right. And it's hard, it's hard to have the confidence to drag a subject out too. Like, when you first start out, like, you, your premises are so short, and then you go from one short premise-

Erik Griffin 35:25 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 35:25 ... to another short premise, and-

Erik Griffin 35:26 Then it becomes a, it becomes a bit.

Joe Rogan 35:28 Mm-hmm.

Erik Griffin 35:28 And the bit becomes, uh, you know, uh, a set. And then now you're talking about... I often tell comics, like, that, that... It's like music, you know? If you heard a... if you heard, like, a Neptunes beat, you could hear it from a mile away. You can know, when you hear it, you go, "Oh, I bet you The Neptunes, uh, produced that track."... or, or a premier, you know, the DJ Premier.

Joe Rogan 35:53 Right.

Erik Griffin 35:53 He would produce a beat and you'd be like, "Oh, that's a Premier beat." Your comic- your comedy is the same way. When you're working on things, you work on it in your way that if you looked at all your material, you might now see the common thread, and that's how you put together an act.

Joe Rogan 36:10 Right.

Erik Griffin 36:10 30 minutes, 40 minutes. That's how you're able to talk about a subject for so long, because we've now woven together these thoughts that we don't think are connected, but when we look at them, we go, "Oh, we're t- I'm actually... This subject actually flows into this and it connects very nicely." So that, that's what was, uh, going on. So I'm watching... Again, I'm watching Mencia at the time, that I'm this young kid, I don't know what to do next. I just had a great set, I thought, and now I'm looking at these professionals. And I saw Mencia, and at that particular time, I was like... I saw him and when he talked about Taco Bell and stuff, I thought, "You know, I think I could do this." You know? And then he brought up Chris Tucker. And, and Chris Tucker went on stage and I was... Thought to myself, "I don't think I can do this." Just the way he was so, like... With his voice, "Man!" You know, just the, just the-

Joe Rogan 36:59 Chris Tucker was on fire back then.

Erik Griffin 37:01 Yeah, just his whole persona. And I thought, I didn't know... And I didn't know what to do. So I floundered around, I did open mics-

Joe Rogan 37:06 So you got nervous when you saw Chris Tucker-

Erik Griffin 37:08 Yes, I did.

Joe Rogan 37:08 ... because he was so powerful?

Erik Griffin 37:09 It was just so... It was something special about what he was doing.

Joe Rogan 37:12 Mm-hmm.

Erik Griffin 37:12 And I just thought, "I don't know if..." I don't... I just was... I didn't have it at that time, man. I was so, like, just nervous and scared and arrogant too, because I was a funny guy, so then I would go to open mics and then the same people doing the same shit over and over and over again, then I wouldn't go to another open mic for another four weeks, then I'd see the same people and I thought, "Well, how do you get from here... How do you get on the..." You know, there's no one... I didn't know. There was no mentors.

Joe Rogan 37:36 Right.

Erik Griffin 37:36 There was no people going like, "Let me help you with this." You know, you couldn't even talk to someone, like, of your stature at all. Like, you know, at the time, you couldn't just be some open miccer. And by the way, they shouldn't do that, you know what I mean? Like, you know, you're at The Comedy Store and some dude comes up to you, you're just kinda like, "What do you wanna talk to me about right now, dude?"

Joe Rogan 37:53 (laughs)

Erik Griffin 37:53 (laughs) Like, you just, you just started.

Joe Rogan 37:56 I always approach... I think es- especially when they work there as door guys, I feel like everybody's just a comic.

Erik Griffin 38:02 That's different. That's different. But, like, there is a sort of... But even still, like, it's like-

Joe Rogan 38:08 (coughs)

Erik Griffin 38:08 I don't know if it's such, so appropriate for a door guy to come up to you and be like, "Yo, can I open for you at Irvine?" You know, I don't-

Joe Rogan 38:15 Dude, some guy just did that the other day.

Erik Griffin 38:17 Bitch, I don't know you.

Joe Rogan 38:18 Yeah, I don't know you at all.

Erik Griffin 38:19 (laughs) I-

Joe Rogan 38:19 Nah, I have friends who can open for me.

Erik Griffin 38:20 But, by the way, I used to do that.

Joe Rogan 38:22 Did you?

Erik Griffin 38:22 They still... Yeah, I used to do that. I remember Jo- you know Johnny Sanchez?

Joe Rogan 38:25 Sure.

Erik Griffin 38:26 First was coming up, I went to Johnny, I said, "Johnny, let me open for you. I'm a juggernaut." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 38:31 (laughs) Is that what you said?

Erik Griffin 38:32 I told him I was a juggernaut.

Joe Rogan 38:33 (laughs)

Erik Griffin 38:34 I said, "I'm trying to bury these headliners, man."

Joe Rogan 38:36 Wow.

Erik Griffin 38:36 That's what I, what I was trying to... That's, I thought, I thought-

Joe Rogan 38:37 That's what you told him?

Erik Griffin 38:38 Yeah, that's what I th- you thought you were, you were supposed to do. I was like-

Joe Rogan 38:40 Did he check his watch? "Oh, look at the time."

Erik Griffin 38:43 (laughs) Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So he's, he's teased me ever since. This is 20, you know, 15 years later-

Joe Rogan 38:48 (laughs)

Erik Griffin 38:48 ... he's still teasing me about it. But, um, you know, so I, I didn't know. I didn't know what I was doing, you know?

Joe Rogan 38:53 Right.

Erik Griffin 38:53 I didn't know how to... What, what are you supposed to do, man? I mean-

Joe Rogan 38:56 Well, there's no clear path. It's not like being a doctor.

Erik Griffin 38:58 There's no- There's no right or wrong way either.

Joe Rogan 39:00 Right. Yeah.

Erik Griffin 39:00 You know? I didn't know.

Joe Rogan 39:00 That's true too. Yeah.

Erik Griffin 39:01 Especially, I grew up in LA. I was born and raised in LA, so I'm in LA trying to get on a stage where I go to the Laugh... Like I was telling you earlier, I- I- I saw you at the Laugh Factory with hair, you know, and just like a... Man, you were on stage like... I'm not... Like, you were just giving it y- y- ... There's a certain energy you had about what you were talking about that I was like, "Damn, what happened to this guy?"

Joe Rogan 39:26 (laughs)

Erik Griffin 39:28 (laughs) Like, I- I remember the first thought, I was like, "Man, some woman hurt him." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 39:32 Oh, that's hilarious. Or something. Something shoulda happened.

Erik Griffin 39:35 Something happened and I thought, "I don't know if I've tapped into that yet."

Joe Rogan 39:37 Hmm.

Erik Griffin 39:37 I thought at the time. "I don't know if I've tapped into that." So it took a long time for me to realize, "Oh no, this is what I wanna do," and, like-

Joe Rogan 39:43 Right.

Erik Griffin 39:44 ... when was, I was 30.

Joe Rogan 39:44 Well, everybody's different, you know? Like some people-

Erik Griffin 39:46 I know.

Joe Rogan 39:46 ... go up there and they're excited and angry about shit, and some people go up there and they're mellow, and that's the funny part.

Erik Griffin 39:53 The, it, it-

Joe Rogan 39:53 You know, they're- they're chilled out.

Erik Griffin 39:54 I wish I knew what it-

Joe Rogan 39:55 Slow-

Erik Griffin 39:56 There's no-

Joe Rogan 39:57 ... slow punchlines, you know?

Erik Griffin 39:58 But e- but even if you-

Joe Rogan 40:00 Like Segura, perfect example.

Erik Griffin 40:02 ... just could tell a story-

Joe Rogan 40:04 Yeah.

Erik Griffin 40:04 ... and have you captivated.

Joe Rogan 40:05 Yeah, there's no anger.

Erik Griffin 40:06 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 40:06 There's no, no, like, screaming emotions. Segura's just chilled out.

Erik Griffin 40:10 But don't you find yourself... Have you ever gone h- gone up and been... Because you have a way of performing, like, you know, you have a y- you know, it's Joe mode, you know? You're on there, it's gonna be powerful, and you're gonna... You're like really... And then have you ever just gone on and kinda like not done it that way? But then now you get laughs at a completely different point in your set?

Joe Rogan 40:30 With new material, for sure.

Erik Griffin 40:31 Yeah, 'cause you're trying to find the, you know-

Joe Rogan 40:33 Yeah, you're trying to find the beats. I- I- I've- I set material up to fail sometimes. Like I'll go into a bit slower-

Erik Griffin 40:39 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 40:39 ... and I'll go into a bit more casual and try to ramp it up rather than, like, try to make it... Like sometimes when you get a new bit, especially when you first start out, you're like, "This bit is shaky. Let me just get it out of the gate with a lot of momentum so then I can kinda coast with it."

Erik Griffin 40:54 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 40:54 But sometimes I'll, I'll say, "All right. Well, this bit might be all just bullshit." Or what Tom calls, Tom Segura calls them dance moves.

Erik Griffin 41:00 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 41:01 You know, I used to call it English, English on the cue ball. Because sometimes you're just... You're hamming it up, but the substance isn't there.

Erik Griffin 41:08 You're doing that... I know exactly what you're saying. You're doing that thing that you do that no one makes people laugh.

Joe Rogan 41:12 Yeah, yeah, yeah. You-

Erik Griffin 41:12 It's really difficult.

Joe Rogan 41:13 ... jazzing it up.

Erik Griffin 41:14 It's really difficult for me because I'm just a funny looking guy, you know?

Joe Rogan 41:17 (laughs)

Erik Griffin 41:18 I mean, I ju- I accept it, you know?

Joe Rogan 41:19 Right.

Erik Griffin 41:19 I'm not, I'm not a looker, you know what I mean? I- I'm cute, you know what I'm saying?

Joe Rogan 41:22 You're a handsome fella and I like your mustache.

Erik Griffin 41:24 I'm a handsome guy. Yeah, I- I- I know-

Joe Rogan 41:25 The mustache works with you.

Erik Griffin 41:26 I know my qualities, right?

Joe Rogan 41:27 Right.

Erik Griffin 41:27 But I know that, like, that... I could do a thing that they're gonna... Are they laughing at what I'm talking about? Like, are they with me-

Joe Rogan 41:33 Right.

Erik Griffin 41:33 ... emotionally? Are they with me intellectually?

Joe Rogan 41:36 Right.

Erik Griffin 41:36 Or are they just going like, "Ah, this guy's funny."

Joe Rogan 41:38 Right.

Erik Griffin 41:38 And it's f- it's hard to recognize that.

Joe Rogan 41:40 Hmm.Yeah. Right? Like, what do you want from them?

Erik Griffin 41:44 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 41:44 Do you wanna ... Do you wanna connect with them? Do you want them to laugh? Do you want both? Do you, do you want them to appreciate you? They just- you just want them to have a good time?

Erik Griffin 41:52 Or do you even want them to laugh at how you are connected to what you're talking about?

Joe Rogan 41:56 Hmm.

Erik Griffin 41:57 'Cause that's different, too.

Joe Rogan 41:58 Yeah.

Erik Griffin 41:59 Like, if you're a political comic, people might laugh that, like, how passionate you are about being a libertarian, or how passionate you are about, you know, being an atheist.

Joe Rogan 42:08 Right.

Erik Griffin 42:08 Maybe they don't agree with you, or maybe they do agree with you, but they've just ... Th- they're laughing at how you are connected to what you're saying, and I think that that's another element. That's a wh- that's a whole other thing. You know?

Joe Rogan 42:19 Yeah.

Erik Griffin 42:19 I, I look at all my friends that ... You know, we have, we have a lot of peers or friends that we just go ... I ... Like, they all have something different-

Joe Rogan 42:25 Yeah.

Erik Griffin 42:25 ... in that way.

Joe Rogan 42:26 Yep.

Erik Griffin 42:27 You know? And, it's amaz- it's an a- it's an amazing thing to watch.

Joe Rogan 42:30 It's a crazy art form because nobody can tell you how to do it. It's not like any other art form.

Erik Griffin 42:34 Yeah. It really ... (sighs)

Joe Rogan 42:36 You know, like, if you went into music, or I went into music, like, we could ... Like, you could be in a rock band, or you could be in blues band, or you could do, like, country music, and everybody ... It would be clearly defined.

Erik Griffin 42:45 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 42:45 But, you just do stand-up.

Erik Griffin 42:47 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 42:47 It's just stand-up.

Erik Griffin 42:49 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 42:49 I mean, there's no, there's no categories.

Erik Griffin 42:50 You know what's funny about that, though, is I know that there's no categories, but I do think that it is similar to music in that we're not gonna change the rules of communication.

Joe Rogan 42:59 Right.

Erik Griffin 42:59 And, I think that's where people get in the way. So, like, when you're on a piano, you're not gonna make new chords. It's still gonna be A, B, C, D, G. You know what I mean?

Joe Rogan 43:07 Yeah.

Erik Griffin 43:07 And, like, the, the, the ... Certain chords, when they go together, are not gonna sound good. No matter what, you're not gonna reinvent the wheel. So, I think the baseline of comedy is, like, just being able to communicate your points, and I think when you're a person that can communicate your points, and they're solid and clear, then the jokes on top of that are s- uh, are s- ... Are gonna ... What the entertainment is gonna be. But, you know, you still gotta, like ... You know when somebody says ... They're telling a story and nobody says anything, and then they go, "Well, you know, you had to be there."

Joe Rogan 43:35 Right.

Erik Griffin 43:35 Well, that's a horrible storyteller. That's, that's what that is.

Joe Rogan 43:39 You'll never hear Joey Diaz say that.

Erik Griffin 43:40 Never. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 43:42 Right.

Erik Griffin 43:42 "You had to be there, cocksucker." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 43:47 (laughs)

Erik Griffin 43:47 Like, that would be like, "Well, I don't know if I wanna be there, bro." You know?

Joe Rogan 43:50 Yeah. Y- y- ... "You had to be there," means you failed in communicating.

Erik Griffin 43:53 So, I think that on a, that level, even though all comics are different and it's, it's we're ... But, that level of, like ... Well, an- so, when you say set-up-

Joe Rogan 44:01 Yeah.

Erik Griffin 44:01 ... that is important. It's not gonna-

Joe Rogan 44:02 Yeah.

Erik Griffin 44:02 It's universal to all of us. You have to set this up.

Joe Rogan 44:05 Yeah.

Erik Griffin 44:05 You know what I mean?

Joe Rogan 44:06 But, I mean, that's just the case with all songs and everything, too, but there's styles. You know? Like, there's-

Erik Griffin 44:11 Right.

Joe Rogan 44:11 ... certain styles of comedy.

Erik Griffin 44:12 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 44:13 I guess there's styles of comedy-

Erik Griffin 44:15 There are styles.

Joe Rogan 44:15 ... but they vary so much. There's no distinct style.

Erik Griffin 44:17 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 44:17 Like, if you heard, like ... What b- s- ... Put an example. Uh, Hank Williams, Jr., like, well, that's clearly country.

Erik Griffin 44:23 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 44:24 You just hear it, you know, right away. You hear (singing) .

Erik Griffin 44:26 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 44:26 Bang, bang, bang, bang.

Erik Griffin 44:26 There's something twangy about it. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 44:28 Yeah. It's like, that's, that's country. Yeah.

Erik Griffin 44:30 There's something about the sto- ... I love country with a good story, you know?

Joe Rogan 44:33 Yeah.

Erik Griffin 44:33 << Driving down the highway >> You know? Whatever.

Joe Rogan 44:35 Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Erik Griffin 44:35 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 44:35 All you have to do is hear, like, a couple words.

Erik Griffin 44:37 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 44:38 And you go, "I know what the fuck this is."

Erik Griffin 44:39 Yeah, this guy's hurt.

Joe Rogan 44:39 It doesn't even have to have, like, music behind it.

Erik Griffin 44:42 You know what?

Joe Rogan 44:42 He's sad.

Erik Griffin 44:43 You were comedy at the time. It was the country music of comedy.

Joe Rogan 44:46 I think you're misrepresenting me.

Erik Griffin 44:47 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 44:48 It was never ... (coughs)

Erik Griffin 44:50 It was a story. You de- you know, you, you f- you felt the, the anguish. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 44:53 Hmm. I don't think that's what I was doing at the time.

Erik Griffin 44:59 (laughs) Are you trying to look back and think-

Joe Rogan 45:00 Isn't it weird, though?

Erik Griffin 45:00 But you had hair.

Joe Rogan 45:01 Yeah.

Erik Griffin 45:01 It was a whole different guy.

Joe Rogan 45:03 Yeah.

Erik Griffin 45:03 You know, you weren't this ... You're def- you're a solid muscle now. Like, I don't know if you have ... What's your body fat count right now?

Joe Rogan 45:09 I don't get it checked.

Erik Griffin 45:10 Oh, okay. That's, that's probably better. It's probably better to think that it's better than it probably is.

Joe Rogan 45:14 (laughs)

Erik Griffin 45:15 I think, I think if you went and ... You might be disappointed. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 45:18 The last time I checked, it was 10%.

Erik Griffin 45:20 Oh, my God.

Joe Rogan 45:21 Which is not, which is not very low.

Erik Griffin 45:22 I'm probably, like, 30%, 35% body fat.

Joe Rogan 45:25 Really?

Erik Griffin 45:25 That's crazy. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 45:26 That's not good.

Erik Griffin 45:26 I gotta do something. It's not good.

Joe Rogan 45:27 Yeah, that's not good.

Erik Griffin 45:28 But, I ... You know what it is? I, I, my, uh ... But, my blood pressure's good.

Joe Rogan 45:31 That's good.

Erik Griffin 45:32 Yeah, 'cause I ... You know, I, I, I started-

Joe Rogan 45:34 You told me you were boxing now.

Erik Griffin 45:34 I'm trying to box, man.

Joe Rogan 45:35 You need to start working out.

Erik Griffin 45:36 I went to ... I'm going to the boxing thing and it's like-

Joe Rogan 45:38 Where are you going?

Erik Griffin 45:38 I go to GloveWorks.

Joe Rogan 45:39 Where's that?

Erik Griffin 45:40 GloveWorks in Century City. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 45:42 Oh, shit. Getting your box on.

Erik Griffin 45:44 Yeah. It's, uh-

Joe Rogan 45:44 Hitting pads? The guys are holding pads for you?

Erik Griffin 45:46 No, a guy was holding the thing and, and there's something that tricks you with that, though.

Joe Rogan 45:50 Yeah.

Erik Griffin 45:50 You know?

Joe Rogan 45:50 'Cause they hit back.

Erik Griffin 45:51 They're hitting back.

Joe Rogan 45:51 Yeah, they hit you.

Erik Griffin 45:52 So, you're th- ... And I'm ... After I've done it a few times, I'm walking around in public like-

Joe Rogan 45:55 Motherfucker.

Erik Griffin 45:56 ... I wish somebody ... You need to test me.

Joe Rogan 45:58 You should make a list.

Erik Griffin 45:58 I wish somebody would test me.

Joe Rogan 46:00 (laughs)

Erik Griffin 46:00 Ho- like, they're gonna hold up their hands and fight me like this. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 46:03 Right.

Erik Griffin 46:03 But, I ... You know what's something about going to boxing has changed my perception of women? Uh, y- y- ... Women in the boxing thing, like, they really ... That, that shit is ... They ... When you see a ... You know, the ... I'm working we- out with five people, and then the woman goes in. And the guys say, "Come on," you know? And she's like, "Ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba." I'm just like, "Goddamn, this is ..."

Joe Rogan 46:24 She's good.

Erik Griffin 46:24 This is g- ... She's great. I'm thinking to ... You can handle yourself. All my preconceived notions of, like ... And, it's something stupid, a stupid male thing, is to see a woman fighting and then, the first thought is, "Oh, yeah. Somebody hurt her." You know?

Joe Rogan 46:37 You got a lot of that in you.

Erik Griffin 46:38 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 46:38 You were doing that with me earlier.

Erik Griffin 46:39 I know. I have this thing. I'm, I'm ... People ... (laughs)

Joe Rogan 46:42 (laughs)

Erik Griffin 46:42 People are hurt.

Joe Rogan 46:43 He just thinks that when you hit her-

Erik Griffin 46:43 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 46:43 ... everybody's getting hurt.

Erik Griffin 46:44 Everybody's hurt.

Joe Rogan 46:45 (laughs)

Erik Griffin 46:45 When they ... Oh, God. This is s- ... We just ... This is like therapy. It's coming out.

Joe Rogan 46:50 Yeah. It's-

Erik Griffin 46:50 Maybe I was hurt, you know?

Joe Rogan 46:51 Maybe you need a cassette.

Erik Griffin 46:52 Maybe I need a ... (laughs)

Joe Rogan 46:53 Do you need one of them self-help cassettes?

Erik Griffin 46:54 I do. I do.

Joe Rogan 46:55 Cassettes.

Erik Griffin 46:55 I'm working on it.

Joe Rogan 46:56 Man, I just dated myself.

Erik Griffin 46:57 Yeah, you're old as fuck. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 46:58 Old as fuck. Cassettes.

Erik Griffin 46:58 There's kids out there going like, "What is a cassette?"

Joe Rogan 47:01 (clears throat) "What's a cassette?"

Erik Griffin 47:01 They don't even know what a c-

Joe Rogan 47:02 They think they don't even know what a CD is.

Erik Griffin 47:02 They don't know what a CD is, exactly.

Joe Rogan 47:03 How about a laser disc, you little fuck?

Erik Griffin 47:05 (blow raspberries) What?

Joe Rogan 47:06 Yeah.

Erik Griffin 47:06 What is this? But, the boxing's been cool. I like, uh ... It's a fun workout and, you know, and it's like-

Joe Rogan 47:10 Angry women are weird, though.

Erik Griffin 47:11 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 47:12 It is weird. Somebody sent me a picture of this MMA chick and she was, uh ... There's this woman who's down and she's, uh ... I don't know who the, the lady is. I, I, but I'm not familiar with her. She doesn't fight in the UFC. But, she's got blood on her and she's going like this as she's standing up over this chick-

Erik Griffin 47:27 Yeah, I can't.

Joe Rogan 47:27 ... after she's pounded. She's like this, "Argh," like ... And, I'm like, "Damn, that is an angry woman." (laughs)

Erik Griffin 47:32 Listen, I, I, I, I can't do those kinda ... I can't ... I don't like male UFC. I, I don't leave ... It's just too violent for me. I just ca- I can't-

Joe Rogan 47:39 Have you ever been? Live?

Erik Griffin 47:40 No.

Joe Rogan 47:40 Do you wanna go?

Erik Griffin 47:41 I would go.

Joe Rogan 47:42 In August.

Erik Griffin 47:42 I li- ... I was watching the other day and I hear- 'cause I heard your voice and I was like-

Joe Rogan 47:44 There's one in LA in August if you wanna go.

Erik Griffin 47:46 I'll go. I wanna go.

Joe Rogan 47:47 Come.

Erik Griffin 47:47 I, 'cause it's so-

Joe Rogan 47:48 I'll get you good seats.

Erik Griffin 47:48 It just seems so, like ... (sighs)

Joe Rogan 47:50 It's very ... It is that.

Erik Griffin 47:51 You know, by the, by the way, I find it ... Like, I, I don't like watching women hit each other. You know? I just don't like it.... I don't know, maybe that's my male thing.

Joe Rogan 47:59 Mm-hmm.

Erik Griffin 48:00 You know? But I think that, like, how can we be in a society where we're talking about no violence against women w- unless it's pay-per-view? Like-

Joe Rogan 48:06 Well, no. No violence against women by men is what they mean.

Erik Griffin 48:09 Okay, Joe, let me ask you something here.

Joe Rogan 48:09 And this isn't a violence against women.

Erik Griffin 48:11 Wait, wait, wait.

Joe Rogan 48:11 It's a competition.

Erik Griffin 48:12 Do you think that that woman that beat up Ronda Rousey-

Joe Rogan 48:16 Amanda Nunes.

Erik Griffin 48:17 Do you think that I fight better than her?

Joe Rogan 48:21 No, she'll fuck you up, dude.

Erik Griffin 48:22 She will fuck me up.

Joe Rogan 48:23 But that's Amanda Nunes.

Erik Griffin 48:24 Okay. But if I hit Ronda Rousey in the face-

Joe Rogan 48:28 Right.

Erik Griffin 48:28 ... like her and I go out on a date, we have a l- something happens-

Joe Rogan 48:31 Right.

Erik Griffin 48:31 ... we have a scuffle and it gets on video that I punched Ronda Rousey in the face, I'm now a pariah in society for the rest of my life. But this, this woman who trains and is like (laughs) a beast w- w- w- will beat her up? I just... I, I can't get the disconnect. I can't-

Joe Rogan 48:48 There's not a disconnect. It's a competition. It's a sport.

Erik Griffin 48:51 So?

Joe Rogan 48:52 I don't understand what, what, where you're missing the connection.

Erik Griffin 48:54 He, I... (sighs)

Joe Rogan 48:55 There's such a big difference between-

Erik Griffin 48:57 I guess.

Joe Rogan 48:57 ... Eric Griffin. First of all, Ronda ain't going on a fucking date with you, let's be honest.

Erik Griffin 49:02 Hey, you don't know that. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 49:03 (laughs) She's married.

Erik Griffin 49:04 How dare... Well, first of all, how dare you?

Joe Rogan 49:05 She married Travis Browne. He's a fucking killer.

Erik Griffin 49:07 Okay. Well, maybe they have a-

Joe Rogan 49:08 Travis Browne is a giant.

Erik Griffin 49:09 They had a tough patch. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 49:10 He's a heavyweight UFC fighter.

Erik Griffin 49:12 Okay. So they have a tough patch that week.

Joe Rogan 49:14 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Erik Griffin 49:14 And she's going out to get some, you know-

Joe Rogan 49:15 She's like, "I'm done. I need some Strange."

Erik Griffin 49:16 "I'm done with you. I need some Strange and I want..." She went to the Comedy Store-

Joe Rogan 49:19 She wants to laugh. "I'm tired of being with a killer."

Erik Griffin 49:21 You know, she, she wants-

Joe Rogan 49:21 "I wanna be with a happy guy."

Erik Griffin 49:22 And she wants somebody cuddly.

Joe Rogan 49:23 Soft, squishy.

Erik Griffin 49:23 You know, she wants somebody soft and squishy.

Joe Rogan 49:25 Yeah, right, right.

Erik Griffin 49:25 And then we go out on a date. You don't know.

Joe Rogan 49:27 And then you wind up punching her.

Erik Griffin 49:28 Yeah, 'cause she-

Joe Rogan 49:28 How the fuck does that ever happen?

Erik Griffin 49:29 I don't know, maybe-

Joe Rogan 49:30 What kind of... Have you ever punched anybody in your life? A girl?

Erik Griffin 49:32 No, no.

Joe Rogan 49:33 Of course not.

Erik Griffin 49:33 Well, when I was in the sixth grade, I think I had a fight with a girl one time.

Joe Rogan 49:37 (laughs)

Erik Griffin 49:37 And that's the first time I learned you're not supposed to hit a girl.

Joe Rogan 49:39 Oh, sixth grade.

Erik Griffin 49:39 'Cause she was a, she was a bully.

Joe Rogan 49:40 Right.

Erik Griffin 49:41 She was a bully and she was pushing people and acting... And she did something to me and I punched her.

Joe Rogan 49:45 Oh.

Erik Griffin 49:45 And then no matter what she did, the whole yard went (gasps) . You know, like, "You don't hit a girl." And I was like, "Oh, but r- remember, everybody hated her like a second ago?" (laughs) then all of a sudden... So I knew at that point-

Joe Rogan 49:58 Ugh.

Erik Griffin 49:58 ... I was like, "Oh, you can't do that." I knew, I knew that there's some kind of difference. I learned it then.

Joe Rogan 50:02 Yeah, that's a good way to learn it. Before it gets ugly.

Erik Griffin 50:04 Before it gets ugly, yeah.

Joe Rogan 50:05 Yeah. You don't wanna be in sixth grade.

Erik Griffin 50:05 'Cause I was still a little kid.

Joe Rogan 50:07 Yeah.

Erik Griffin 50:07 Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was like, it was probably younger than that too, actually.

Joe Rogan 50:08 You're not gonna break anybody's jaw in sixth grade.

Erik Griffin 50:11 Right, right, right, right, right, right. And then, and then what pissed me off too, she... I never forget this. It's so vivid in my head that she immed- immediately went from bully, strong, like, "I run this-"

Joe Rogan 50:21 Right.

Erik Griffin 50:22 ... "courtyard" to (gasps) "He hit me." And I was like-

Joe Rogan 50:27 Oh, little bitch.

Erik Griffin 50:28 I was like, "What just happened?"

Joe Rogan 50:29 You ever wanna look her up?

Erik Griffin 50:30 Yeah, I know. Just-

Joe Rogan 50:31 See what the fuck she's done to her disaster of a life?

Erik Griffin 50:34 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 50:34 (laughs)

Erik Griffin 50:36 It was Condoleezza Rice, actually. No, I'm kidding.

Joe Rogan 50:38 Oh, shit.

Erik Griffin 50:38 What if it was somebody like that, though?

Joe Rogan 50:39 That would be crazy if she's angry at you for punching her all this time.

Erik Griffin 50:43 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 50:43 Starting wars in Syria and shit.

Erik Griffin 50:44 So, s- but I'm saying, it could happen.

Joe Rogan 50:46 Okay.

Erik Griffin 50:46 I'm, I'm with Ronda-

Joe Rogan 50:47 So let's go back to the b- the difference between you punching Ronda-

Erik Griffin 50:50 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 50:50 ... is, that would be the last punch you ever threw.

Erik Griffin 50:52 I'll get, I get-

Joe Rogan 50:52 She'd flip you on your head on the concrete.

Erik Griffin 50:54 I-

Joe Rogan 50:54 Smash your head open, stomp you into a mud puddle. (laughs)

Erik Griffin 50:57 And it, and it, and it, and the people caught all this on video, all they would say is, "Eric Griffin hits a woman." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 51:04 Yes. (laughs) Or, "He had it coming."

Erik Griffin 51:05 Yeah, right, right, right. Yeah, good for her.

Joe Rogan 51:07 He's a domestic abuser.

Erik Griffin 51:08 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 51:08 Fucked with the wrong strong woman.

Erik Griffin 51:10 I don't know, I just, I don't like it.

Joe Rogan 51:11 But the, but the difference between that and R- Ronda's a professional mixed martial arts champion. She's a champion, and one of the greatest female champions of all time.

Erik Griffin 51:21 I didn't like seeing her face look like that, dude.

Joe Rogan 51:23 She shouldn't have fought that woman.

Erik Griffin 51:25 I just, I didn't like seeing it.

Joe Rogan 51:26 Listen-

Erik Griffin 51:26 I, I... What I'm, what I'm saying though is I couldn't... I didn't feel any of that.

Joe Rogan 51:29 Uh-huh.

Erik Griffin 51:29 I didn't feel any of like, "Oh, it's a competition that she trains."

Joe Rogan 51:32 Right.

Erik Griffin 51:32 No. What I saw is a bruised and battered woman. That's what I saw.

Joe Rogan 51:36 Well-

Erik Griffin 51:36 And that's probably my problem. I, I-

Joe Rogan 51:37 Okay, so you must be talking about the Holly Holm fight, 'cause that's when... The one she was bruised and battered.

Erik Griffin 51:41 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 51:41 That's when she got head-kicked and she was bloody and her face was a mess.

Erik Griffin 51:44 It was just... It was a, it was... She looked good.

Joe Rogan 51:45 I mean, Amanda Nunes fight was just 48 seconds of knuckles in the face.

Erik Griffin 51:49 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 51:49 That was a quick fight.

Erik Griffin 51:50 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 51:50 She just got the fuck beat out of her in that fight. But both of those fights-

Erik Griffin 51:54 And she was like, "I'm not doing this anymore."

Joe Rogan 51:54 But there's lessons in that. See, you can fight in MMA and there's, there's danger and there's consequences. But if you're in shape and you're prepared correctly, you can fight. But there's a lot of women that weren't prepared correctly and Ronda fucked them up. That's just how it goes. That's... I mean, sometimes you're the hammer-

Erik Griffin 52:11 Well, I think we also, like-

Joe Rogan 52:12 Sometimes you're the hammer, sometimes you're the nail. I mean, that's just-

Erik Griffin 52:14 Well, I think we also h- pumped her up, you know? It was like, it was like a money marketing, uh... It was great marketing too. She only had to fight 10 times.

Joe Rogan 52:21 It was a little... I mean to say we. I mean, I pumped her up. I mean, I was the one-

Erik Griffin 52:24 Everybody pumped her up.

Joe Rogan 52:24 But it was me doing a lot of the pr- but it was based on what she'd been able to accomplish. It wasn't based on bullshit. It was based on her actual performance inside the octagon against people like Cat Zingano, against people like Sarah McMann. I mean, she, what she had done was supremely impressive.

Erik Griffin 52:40 But you, but, but, we love-

Joe Rogan 52:43 But-

Erik Griffin 52:43 ... a champion.

Joe Rogan 52:43 Mm-hmm.

Erik Griffin 52:44 We love undefeated.

Joe Rogan 52:45 Right.

Erik Griffin 52:45 We love being the best ever, right?

Joe Rogan 52:48 Right.

Erik Griffin 52:48 We, we, we get behind that.

Joe Rogan 52:50 Right.

Erik Griffin 52:50 And that's what was behind her going into that fight.

Joe Rogan 52:54 Right.

Erik Griffin 52:54 And it didn't look like that.

Joe Rogan 52:55 Well, that wa- that shouldn't have been behind her going into that fight. Maybe the Holly Holm fight?

Erik Griffin 52:59 The Holly Holm fight.

Joe Rogan 53:00 But even the Holly Holm fight, she was under massive amounts of distractions. She was under... She was... They were at... They were gonna do Road House, remember? They were gonna do a Road House movie.

Erik Griffin 53:09 Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 53:09 She's having meetings with agents.

Erik Griffin 53:11 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 53:11 And, and they just thought she could fuck up anybody on the planet.

Erik Griffin 53:14 That's what I'm saying.

Joe Rogan 53:15 But the, the problem is-

Erik Griffin 53:17 It didn't look like it.

Joe Rogan 53:18 ... unless you are 100% all in with your training and your learning and your development and you're making sure that you've got the right training partners and the right coaching and the right staff and nutrition and all these different things, if you don't... If you have any, any part of that missing, then the people coming up who have all those c- bases covered, they're gonna surpass you.

Erik Griffin 53:38 'Cause they're-

Joe Rogan 53:38 They're talented too. And that's what-

Erik Griffin 53:40 See-

Joe Rogan 53:40 ... happened with her.

Erik Griffin 53:40 You're knee-deep in the world. You know everything about it, okay? As a layperson.

Joe Rogan 53:45 Right.

Erik Griffin 53:45 Just looking at them standing next to each other, I was like-

Joe Rogan 53:48 Mm-hmm.

Erik Griffin 53:48 ... "Oh, she gonna get her ass beat."

Joe Rogan 53:49 So you're looking at Ronda standing next to Holly Holm-

Erik Griffin 53:52 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 53:52 ... and you thought that Ronda was gonna get her ass beat?

Erik Griffin 53:53 Yes. I, I... When I saw it, I was like, "How-

Joe Rogan 53:55 Why-

Erik Griffin 53:55 ... how's this gonna work?"

Joe Rogan 53:56 ... why did you think that?

Erik Griffin 53:57 I don't know. It's just an eye test.

Joe Rogan 53:59 Well, Ron-

Erik Griffin 53:59 She just looked bigger.

Joe Rogan 54:00 Holly is very physically impressive.

Erik Griffin 54:01 She looked bigger and she was phy- I thought she was physically bigger than this person. I thought-

Joe Rogan 54:05 Bro, have you ever seen Sarah McMann?

Erik Griffin 54:06 No.

Joe Rogan 54:07 Ronda stopped Sarah McMann in one round. Sarah McMann was an Olympic silver medalist in wrestling, and she's a tank.

Erik Griffin 54:12 I wasn't into it like that.

Joe Rogan 54:13 Right.

Erik Griffin 54:13 Maybe if I'd seen that, I would have been like, "Well, this is gonna be a good fight."

Joe Rogan 54:16 Yeah.

Erik Griffin 54:16 'Cause she... But that was my first time, and I... And just looking at it, I was like, "This doesn't look like this is gonna be a good fight." That's just... (laughs)

Joe Rogan 54:22 (laughs)

Erik Griffin 54:23 (laughs) You know, it just, uh, I just didn't, I just didn't think it was gonna be a good fight. And then when... Then you hear just... You hear you guys talking. You hear like, the guy's going like, "Uh, uh, uh, Holly Holm said she's a boxer," and this and that. And I'm like, "Oh, she's... Wow, this isn't gonna go well." And then sure enough, it didn't go well. So then-

Joe Rogan 54:39 Hmm.

Erik Griffin 54:39 ... that made me have like, uh, the respect level for female, uh, you know, fighting if I'm just coming in. Like, at that time, you, you know, it was like, Ronda Rousey's everywhere. She's in movies, she's in like, you know. And then you're like, "Oh, wow, this is the greatest fighter ever right here. This is the, this... She's the, the attraction of a lifetime."

Joe Rogan 54:55 Right.

Erik Griffin 54:55 And then you go, "Okay, all right. I'm gonna check it out. Let me check out... Wow, that girl looks big. I don't think this is gonna..."

Joe Rogan 55:01 (laughs)

Erik Griffin 55:01 And then she gets demolished and you're like, "Well, is this a sport?" I, I think that was a big blow for female fighting.

Joe Rogan 55:07 What are you talking about? That was like, one of the best things to ever happen to female fighting.

Erik Griffin 55:10 No, uh, yeah, okay, well, we're different in that way. I think She Should Have Won would have been the best thing.

Joe Rogan 55:14 No, no, no. It's good to s- to know that anyone can lose, even the greats.

Erik Griffin 55:19 I think in the-

Joe Rogan 55:19 Even the greats, they get, they get head kicked-

Erik Griffin 55:20 ... think we compare it to boxing too much is what it is. Boxing has got to be... You gotta be undefeated. You know, boxing, we love undefeated. One blemish on your record and it ha- it does something. You know?

Joe Rogan 55:29 Yeah. It doesn't work like that in MMA.

Erik Griffin 55:30 Right, right, right.

Joe Rogan 55:30 Because in MMA there's so many different ways to win. The only one who's really undefeated at the top of the food chain is, well, two guys, Khabib Nurmagomedov, who's the lightweight champion, he's undefeated, period.

Erik Griffin 55:41 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 55:41 Mauled everybody except Al Iaquinta went the distance with him and, you know, but still beat his ass. B- b- still beat him. But Jon Jones is really undefeated. Jon Jones has one loss in his career-

Erik Griffin 55:52 When was it?

Joe Rogan 55:52 ... but it's a disqualification.

Erik Griffin 55:53 He... Is he the guy that's been disqualified 'cause he was on drugs or something?

Joe Rogan 55:57 Well, he got caught with some shit in his system that he shouldn't have had in his system. And how did he get it in his system? We don't know. It was only in there for a very short amount of time. There's a lot of speculation.

Erik Griffin 56:07 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 56:07 We don't... Until that gets ironed out, we don't know.

Erik Griffin 56:09 By the way, one of my good friends in the whole wide world is Erik Koch. He's also a UFC MMA fighter.

Joe Rogan 56:15 You know Erik Koch from Two Crufusses, Joe?

Erik Griffin 56:17 Yeah, Erik Koch.

Joe Rogan 56:17 Yeah.

Erik Griffin 56:18 Okay. He's a good buddy. We play... You know how I know him? We played video games together.

Joe Rogan 56:20 Oh, no shit.

Erik Griffin 56:21 Yeah, yeah. We play-

Joe Rogan 56:22 He's a bad motherfucker.

Erik Griffin 56:22 He really is. He's, he's a crazy dude. Now I know that if I'm in public and some shit is about to go down, I check people's ears.

Joe Rogan 56:29 Oh, that's a good move.

Erik Griffin 56:30 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 56:30 Yeah, but sometimes it doesn't work 'cause-

Erik Griffin 56:32 I'm not fighting anybody. "Ooh, his ear look..." Yeah, but-

Joe Rogan 56:33 Some, some beasts out there that wear ear guards.

Erik Griffin 56:35 Yeah, but, oh-

Joe Rogan 56:36 Be careful.

Erik Griffin 56:37 No, but Joe, I'm saying I'm not gonna fight anyway.

Joe Rogan 56:38 I know, but don't.

Erik Griffin 56:39 One more year of boxing, I might-

Joe Rogan 56:41 (laughs)

Erik Griffin 56:41 I might be like, "You want... You don't wanna test me."

Joe Rogan 56:43 Well, once they start doing that pad punching-

Erik Griffin 56:45 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 56:45 ... you start, you start thinking, "Yeah, man, listen to the noise I'm making." Tat tat tat tat tat tat tat.

Erik Griffin 56:49 No, dude, can I tell you one quick? The first time I ever boxed, I, I was like, uh, I went with Craig Robinson, you know, one of my... Craig Rob-

Joe Rogan 56:55 You and Craig were boxing each other? (laughs)

Erik Griffin 56:56 Y- no, we weren't boxing each other-

Joe Rogan 56:57 (laughs)

Erik Griffin 56:57 ... but Craig was starting to box and he took me to this gym and it was this old Black dude. He was like, in his 60s.

Joe Rogan 57:02 Right.

Erik Griffin 57:02 This old school Black dude. So I got into the ring with him, the guy, he was like, "All right, come on in the ring." You know, so I'm in there and we're boxing. He... Y- y- three minutes. I have so much more respect for boxers after doing this. So he's like, "Yo, keep your hands up. Keep your hands up." You know, and I'm like, "All right." And then he hit me in the head, Joe, batted off.

Joe Rogan 57:18 'Cause you didn't keep your hands up.

Erik Griffin 57:19 And I was like... He... After he hit me twice, something locks in, man. Like, oh.

Joe Rogan 57:24 You got angry.

Erik Griffin 57:24 And then-

Joe Rogan 57:25 Yeah, tasted your own blood.

Erik Griffin 57:26 ... it was like, it was like, 30 seconds left in the fight and he put his hands up and he was like, "Finish the fight like you own the street!" You know? (laughs)

Joe Rogan 57:32 Finish the fight like you own the street. You should've kicked him in the nuts-

Erik Griffin 57:35 I went like this-

Joe Rogan 57:36 ... and bit his nose off.

Erik Griffin 57:36 I went like this. Ah!

Joe Rogan 57:39 (laughs)

Erik Griffin 57:41 Uh... And I didn't box again for a little while 'til recently. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 57:44 So that was one time?

Erik Griffin 57:45 It was one t-... It was so hard. It was like, that three minutes-

Joe Rogan 57:48 Right.

Erik Griffin 57:48 ... I was like, "How can these people throw 50 punches?"

Joe Rogan 57:51 Well, you gotta build up to it, Eric.

Erik Griffin 57:53 I can... I'm going to, man.

Joe Rogan 57:54 Yeah, this is not something-

Erik Griffin 57:55 I think I'm gonna come here. You, you got-

Joe Rogan 57:56 Come here.

Erik Griffin 57:56 I need to... I wanna, you know-

Joe Rogan 57:58 Come on in.

Erik Griffin 57:58 I need to work out. I need to-

Joe Rogan 58:00 Yeah.

Erik Griffin 58:00 He laughs. You're not gonna... He's laughing like, "You can't deal with a Joe Rogan workout."

Joe Rogan 58:04 The key is just build up.

Erik Griffin 58:05 How come you don't do a workout tape?

Joe Rogan 58:06 Oh. Mm-hmm. I thought about doing one a while ago, but I'm like-

Erik Griffin 58:10 You should.

Joe Rogan 58:10 Ugh. It's... I'd ra- there's... I do too many things publicly. I'd rather just keep some things-

Erik Griffin 58:14 You know what?

Joe Rogan 58:14 ... to just myself.

Erik Griffin 58:15 This is a man who has a family now, has re- has reached a level of success that he is s- comfortable, and now