Joe Rogan Experience #1128 - Ryan Sickler

1. 0:00 – 15:00

   (laughs) …

   1. NANarrator0:00

      (laughs)

   2. JRJoe Rogan0:01

      Five, four, three, two, one. Ryan Sickler brought some Baltimore work ethic. I can't believe you got actual pieces of paper that you brought.

   3. RSRyan Sickler0:12

      Yeah, I, uh-

   4. JRJoe Rogan0:13

      What kind of comic are you? What, are you prepared?

   5. RSRyan Sickler0:15

      I, I'm prepared, man.

   6. JRJoe Rogan0:16

      (laughs)

   7. RSRyan Sickler0:16

      I'm prepared. This is just shit to come back to.

   8. JRJoe Rogan0:19

      That Baltimore accent is so ... And you, I have two very good friends. My good friend John Rollo, (clears throat) and my good friend, excuse me, Ben O'Brien, both from Baltimore, both got that weird ... Like, if you don't know that Baltimore-

   9. NANarrator0:30

      Joe Rogan.

   10. JRJoe Rogan0:30

       Yeah, that's ... It's, it's a weird accent.

   11. RSRyan Sickler0:32

       It is. It's-

   12. JRJoe Rogan0:33

       It's like, "What is that?"

   13. RSRyan Sickler0:34

       It's-

   14. JRJoe Rogan0:34

       "Hey, Joe Rogan."

   15. RSRyan Sickler0:35

       (laughs) "Hey, Joe Rogan."

   16. JRJoe Rogan0:37

       Yeah, it's, it's-

   17. RSRyan Sickler0:37

       "I love your podcast, Joe."

   18. JRJoe Rogan0:39

       It's a weird accent.

   19. RSRyan Sickler0:40

       It's so fucking weird. Uh, it's ... And people there are like hardcore. They say shit like, for sink, they'll say zink. Kitchen zink.

   20. JRJoe Rogan0:49

       What?

   21. RSRyan Sickler0:49

       Am- ambulance. Like-

   22. JRJoe Rogan0:50

       The kitchen zink.

   23. RSRyan Sickler0:51

       I, um ...

   24. NANarrator0:52

       (laughs)

   25. RSRyan Sickler0:52

       I didn't realize I had a Southern accent-

   26. JRJoe Rogan0:55

       (laughs)

   27. RSRyan Sickler0:55

       ... until I moved here, and I still don't believe I have a Southern accent. I'll give it a draw. I'll give it a draw.

   28. JRJoe Rogan0:59

       It is a Southern accent, but it's-

   29. RSRyan Sickler1:01

       It's a draw.

   30. JRJoe Rogan1:02

       It's a different one.
2. 15:00 – 30:00

   (laughs) …

   1. RSRyan Sickler15:00

      street education." I'm so glad, 'cause I see shit from a mile away. A mile away. Larson's always like, "I don't even know how you do it." We were, uh, we were in Denver. (laughs)

   2. JRJoe Rogan15:09

      (laughs)

   3. RSRyan Sickler15:09

      We were in Denver at the end of 2016. We were doing our tour. And we like to walk home from the shows at night. We'll smoke a little joint, take a walk, enjoy your city, whatever. And, uh, he's like, "Oh, there's nothing wrong with Denver." I'm like, "Denver's got a COPS episode, bro."

   4. JRJoe Rogan15:22

      (laughs)

   5. RSRyan Sickler15:23

      You know, like, "Settle down. You gotta..." (laughs) You know what I mean?

   6. JRJoe Rogan15:25

      There's some spots-

   7. RSRyan Sickler15:27

      (laughs) There's a couple pockets. Yeah.

   8. JRJoe Rogan15:27

      ... there's some spots where you can go wrong.

   9. RSRyan Sickler15:28

      And, um, we're about to take this walkway underneath this tunnel, and this sketchy fucking, like, white dude, sketched out, just starts circling us-

   10. JRJoe Rogan15:37

       Mm.

   11. RSRyan Sickler15:37

       ... with those dark eyes and this crazy smile, and traffic is hauling ass right close by us, right?

   12. JRJoe Rogan15:43

       Mm-hmm.

   13. RSRyan Sickler15:44

       And Jay's like, "What, what are we gonna do?" And I was like, "We're gonna stay over here by this traffic, and if that dude charges us, I'm shoving him right into that fucking traffic. That's exactly what the fuck we're gonna do. I'll bait him over here, just shove him right out there, let those cars-"

   14. JRJoe Rogan15:55

       You had it planned out.

   15. RSRyan Sickler15:56

       (laughs) Because I was ready to go.

   16. JRJoe Rogan15:57

       Damn. If you kill somebody-

   17. RSRyan Sickler15:58

       'Cause he said, "Have a good night."

   18. JRJoe Rogan15:59

       Oh, it'd be so weird as shit.

   19. RSRyan Sickler15:59

       He said shit like... Yeah, he was saying shit like that, and I was like, "Holy shit."

   20. JRJoe Rogan16:02

       Oh, one of those guys.

   21. RSRyan Sickler16:04

       Yeah. Yeah.

   22. JRJoe Rogan16:05

       Yeah. What do you do if you kill someone like that? Do you tell anybody? Like, if it was just-

   23. RSRyan Sickler16:09

       (sighs)

   24. JRJoe Rogan16:09

       ... you and Jay?

   25. RSRyan Sickler16:10

       Well, these days, everything's on camera.

   26. JRJoe Rogan16:12

       What cameras?

   27. RSRyan Sickler16:13

       There's, there's eye in the sky.

   28. JRJoe Rogan16:15

       Eye in the sky? The big-

   29. RSRyan Sickler16:16

       But if... Oh, yeah.

   30. JRJoe Rogan16:17

       ... government?
3. 30:00 – 45:00

   (laughs) Clearly. I thi-…

   1. JRJoe Rogan30:00

      attack. They, uh, they don't get a lot of attacks in Brazil because the water's so warm. But apparently, um, that shark didn't get the menu.

   2. RSRyan Sickler30:09

      (laughs) Clearly. I thi- I thought I saw they thought it was a tiger shark.

   3. JRJoe Rogan30:13

      Yeah, I think that's it.

   4. RSRyan Sickler30:13

      That's a, that's a big fucking shark.

   5. JRJoe Rogan30:14

      That's a big shark. Well, obviously, I mean, he bits the-

   6. RSRyan Sickler30:17

      God.

   7. JRJoe Rogan30:18

      Bit his pelvis off, right where the dick goes.

   8. RSRyan Sickler30:20

      Mm, I can't even. (laughs)

   9. JRJoe Rogan30:22

      I mean, that's basically like your legs are spread.

   10. RSRyan Sickler30:25

       (laughs)

   11. JRJoe Rogan30:25

       You're swimming around, and it just gets in between there.

   12. RSRyan Sickler30:27

       Ugh. Fuck. (laughs)

   13. JRJoe Rogan30:28

       And snackity, snack, snack. Fuck.

   14. RSRyan Sickler30:32

       Jesus Christ. (laughs)

   15. JRJoe Rogan30:33

       Fuck that, man. I just-... that's what scares the shit out of me about the water, man. That you don't, you don't even see it coming. At least if you're in the woods, you kinda hear things.

   16. RSRyan Sickler30:42

       Yes, that's right. You got the hearing. You don't even have that in the water.

   17. JRJoe Rogan30:45

       You get, you get to your gun and you know, you know what's out there. You don't-

   18. RSRyan Sickler30:49

       Nothing out there is growling in the ocean, you know what I mean?

   19. JRJoe Rogan30:52

       Ugh.

   20. RSRyan Sickler30:52

       You ain't hearing shit.

   21. JRJoe Rogan30:52

       It's just, you don't hear shit until it's too late and then this ... (bubbling sound) That's you-

   22. RSRyan Sickler30:58

       (laughs)

   23. JRJoe Rogan30:58

       ... and you see red in front of your face and you're like, "Fuck, this is how it's gonna end? All those road gigs I did-"

   24. RSRyan Sickler31:04

       To go out like this.

   25. JRJoe Rogan31:04

       "... all, all my airline miles." (laughs)

   26. RSRyan Sickler31:07

       (laughs) My airline miles will go out like mine.

   27. JRJoe Rogan31:09

       All those open mics. (laughs)

   28. RSRyan Sickler31:12

       (laughs)

   29. JRJoe Rogan31:12

       To go out like this. (bubbling sound)

   30. RSRyan Sickler31:15

       You know, um, I've been thinking about this and talking about this on stage a little bit, but the, as far as death goes, to go out, uh, the most beautiful way I've ever seen any creature on this little rock in outer space go out, the most original, beautiful way is that dove that got killed by a Randy Johnson fastball.
4. 45:00 – 1:00:00

   (laughs) No. …

   1. JRJoe Rogan45:00

      in the northern hemisphere.

   2. NANarrator45:02

      (laughs) No.

   3. JRJoe Rogan45:02

      Uh, uh, Austin, I think Austin has the largest migration. Like, it's the, uh, largest daily migration of bats in North America.

   4. NANarrator45:10

      Daily?

   5. JRJoe Rogan45:11

      Yeah, it's crazy. When it gets dark out, look at all those bats, they fly out from under the bridge. There's a, there's a bridge in downtown Austin-

   6. NANarrator45:20

      Holy shit.

   7. JRJoe Rogan45:20

      Bro, it's crazy. It's crazy. So we are staying in this hotel and they're telling us, "Hey, when it gets dark out, uh, that bridge over there," they're like, "all the bats nest in that bridge and they come out." So during the daytime, I was with my family, we walked under the bridge and you hear them (bats squeaking) .

   8. NANarrator45:36

      That cluster is hanging underneath the bridge? Fuck.

   9. JRJoe Rogan45:40

      You go under the bridge, you hear that shit. (bats squeaking)

   10. NANarrator45:44

       Look at that.

   11. JRJoe Rogan45:45

       Dude, it's millions. Millions and millions of fucking bats go flying through the air. It's crazy to watch.

   12. NANarrator45:51

       What is it about Austin?

   13. JRJoe Rogan45:52

       Look at that. What does it say there? What does it ... Pull it back to the beginning. It says, "From March through April, millions of mostly female pregnant Mexican free-tailed bats migrate north to give birth. The NW Congress Avenue Bridge in downtown Austin, Texas is the spring and summer home to these bats. Each night at sunset, some two million bats venture out from-"

   14. NANarrator46:14

       Oh, shit.

   15. JRJoe Rogan46:14

       "... under the bridge to eat an estimated 30,000 pounds of insects. It is the largest urban bat colony in North America." And then you watch the departure. Play that video so we see this departure. It's fucking bananas, dude. You can't believe how many bats-

   16. NANarrator46:29

       Look at that.

   17. JRJoe Rogan46:30

       ... fly out. You're like, "What?" That they all just pick this one neighborhood. This one bridge, they decide, "This is our spot." And so they just live in this bridge. So if somebody detonated that bridge-

   18. NANarrator46:40

       Look at that. It looks like night.

   19. JRJoe Rogan46:42

       It's crazy. Dude, it's crazy. I was there for this. It's w- it's wild to watch. You just see them like, like, a swarm, like insects.

   20. NANarrator46:51

       How are they not running into each other like that and knocking themselves down?

   21. JRJoe Rogan46:55

       That's a good question.

   22. NANarrator46:56

       Look how tight that is.

   23. JRJoe Rogan46:57

       Yeah. How do they not headbutt each other?

   24. NANarrator46:58

       Yeah.

   25. JRJoe Rogan46:59

       People could barely get on the subway together without stepping on-

   26. NANarrator47:01

       (laughs)

   27. JRJoe Rogan47:01

       ... toes and shit. These things are flying.

   28. NANarrator47:04

       Flying.

   29. JRJoe Rogan47:05

       They say that they have some sort of a magnetic sense. They understand, like, there's a frequency that each one of those animals gives off. That's how birds do it. Like, they ... Ever see birds? They move together in these crazy patterns.

   30. NANarrator47:18

       Yeah, the ... (exhales) Yeah.
5. 1:00:00 – 1:05:28

   Yeah. …

   1. JRJoe Rogan1:00:00

      your car.

   2. RSRyan Sickler1:00:00

      Yeah.

   3. JRJoe Rogan1:00:00

      Yeah.

   4. RSRyan Sickler1:00:00

      And then you don't hear it, but apparently, they hear it, and it's enough to... Uh, but I had 'em on, they would still come right up to the edge of the road and shit.

   5. JRJoe Rogan1:00:07

      Yeah, they ... When the rut's going on, they get confused. They don't ... They're just horny and crazy. They'll run right out into traffic, get smashed by cars. Deers that would hide all day long during any other time of the year, just, they just smell that deer pussy and they just find it so, so good.

   6. RSRyan Sickler1:00:23

      (laughs) They're just like us, goddamn.

   7. JRJoe Rogan1:00:25

      I mean, can you imagine?

   8. RSRyan Sickler1:00:26

      (laughs)

   9. JRJoe Rogan1:00:26

      Uh, their nose is a thousand times stronger than ours-

   10. RSRyan Sickler1:00:29

       Ugh.

   11. JRJoe Rogan1:00:29

       ... whatever the fuck it is. Th- the smell of that pussy must be so tempting.

   12. RSRyan Sickler1:00:32

       (sniffs) Running out in traffic in the middle of the fucking day for it.

   13. JRJoe Rogan1:00:36

       (snorts) Yeah. You know, and you only got a couple of weeks to fuck.

   14. RSRyan Sickler1:00:42

       That's right.

   15. JRJoe Rogan1:00:43

       You know? It's not like they fuck all year like us. They got a couple weeks to get their fuck on.

   16. RSRyan Sickler1:00:48

       And then the rest of the year is solo.

   17. JRJoe Rogan1:00:50

       (laughs)

   18. RSRyan Sickler1:00:51

       Nope.

   19. JRJoe Rogan1:00:52

       How weird is it? Like, what kind of a strange system did nature come up with where it makes the girls horny and able to give birth only, like, for a couple of, like, f- six weeks. Sometimes they go into estrus again, like t- uh, they have, like, a second, a second estrus.

   20. RSRyan Sickler1:01:09

       And then they all figure it out.

   21. JRJoe Rogan1:01:11

       Yeah.

   22. RSRyan Sickler1:01:12

       It's amaz- I, I-

   23. JRJoe Rogan1:01:13

       Smells.

   24. RSRyan Sickler1:01:14

       Yeah, smells.

   25. JRJoe Rogan1:01:16

       Soft smells.

   26. RSRyan Sickler1:01:16

       (sniffs) I need to start (sniffs) smelling more, fucking thinking less, I think.

   27. JRJoe Rogan1:01:19

       And apparently, as good as they smell, a bear smells hundreds of times stronger than them. They say a bear smells hundreds of times better than a bloodhound does.

   28. RSRyan Sickler1:01:27

       That blows my mind.

   29. JRJoe Rogan1:01:28

       It's crazy.

   30. RSRyan Sickler1:01:28

       Miles blows my mind.

Episode duration: 2:37:57