Joe Rogan Experience #1177 - Sober October 2

1. 0:00 – 15:00

   Five, four, three, two,…

   1. JRJoe Rogan0:02

      Five, four, three, two, one. (heart beating) Dude, it seemed like we just did this.

   2. BKBert Kreischer0:07

      It does feel like-

   3. TSTom Segura0:09

      (laughs)

   4. BKBert Kreischer0:09

      ... pretty recent.

   5. JRJoe Rogan0:09

      How was it a year ago?

   6. BKBert Kreischer0:10

      I don't know.

   7. TSTom Segura0:11

      I don't know.

   8. JRJoe Rogan0:12

      It's already October. I'm scared. Let's just fucking spark up a joint and bill right now.

   9. BKBert Kreischer0:17

      What?

   10. TSTom Segura0:18

       (laughs)

   11. BKBert Kreischer0:18

       No.

   12. JRJoe Rogan0:18

       With these fat blunts.

   13. BKBert Kreischer0:20

       One of them Backwoods.

   14. JRJoe Rogan0:21

       Smell one of these Backwoods. These are so good. Just smell it, just smell it.

   15. TSTom Segura0:25

       Whoa.

   16. JRJoe Rogan0:26

       Yeah.

   17. TSTom Segura0:27

       You know everyone was commenting on your-

   18. BKBert Kreischer0:29

       Let me see that.

   19. TSTom Segura0:29

       ... blunt rolling technique after the Elon Musk thing?

   20. JRJoe Rogan0:32

       Oh, I don't roll them.

   21. TSTom Segura0:33

       I know they were like... And I knew that. And they were like-

   22. JRJoe Rogan0:35

       Yeah.

   23. TSTom Segura0:35

       ... "Oh, what is he... He just, he can barely roll a blunt." And I was like, "It's professionally rolled. It's a pretty r- good blunt."

   24. JRJoe Rogan0:39

       You can't read those comments.

   25. BKBert Kreischer0:40

       That does smell good, man.

   26. JRJoe Rogan0:41

       That smells so good. They taste good too. Those are, those are phenomenal. The, I l- I'm a blunt man. You know, I know it's probably bad for your lungs, but there's something about the tobacco gets you a little high up and then the marijuana sort of like-

   27. BKBert Kreischer0:55

       Mm-hmm.

   28. JRJoe Rogan0:55

       ... spreads you out and it puts you in like a new dimension.

   29. BKBert Kreischer0:59

       Yeah, that's-

   30. JRJoe Rogan0:59

       I like it.
2. 15:00 – 30:00

   Yeah. …

   1. JRJoe Rogan15:00

      are just drunk and everyone's terrible, so you're just laughing at basically anything.

   2. BKBert Kreischer15:04

      Yeah.

   3. JRJoe Rogan15:05

      You know.

   4. BKBert Kreischer15:05

      I think it does- it like-

   5. You can laugh... Someone can tell by how bad they are, you know. (laughs)

   6. JRJoe Rogan15:08

      Yeah, for sure. (laughs)

   7. BKBert Kreischer15:10

      People are just like slamming the table-

   8. JRJoe Rogan15:12

      Peter Chen made a almost career out of that.

   9. BKBert Kreischer15:14

      (laughs)

   10. JRJoe Rogan15:14

       Yeah. Peter Chen. He was a guy who was so bad, um, I... Chris Maguire was auditioning, uh, for Mitzy, and, uh, Peter t- Mitzy thought it was funny 'cause M- Mitzy was so hilarious. She thought it was funny that one of the worst comics in LA, don't pull this picture up-

   11. BKBert Kreischer15:33

       (laughs)

   12. (laughs)

   13. JRJoe Rogan15:35

       ... he was hosting the open mic night.

   14. BKBert Kreischer15:37

       Really?

   15. JRJoe Rogan15:38

       Yeah. She thought it was funny and, but I knew that Maguire was gonna have to audition for Mitzy, so I said, "Fuck that." So I called up the store, I said, "I'm hosting." I said, "I'll host an open mic night." And so I came down and host- hosted the open mic night just, just to keep him from hosting it.

   16. BKBert Kreischer15:51

       That's great.

   17. So you did that like as a save for your buddy?

   18. JRJoe Rogan15:54

       Yes.

   19. BKBert Kreischer15:54

       Yeah.

   20. JRJoe Rogan15:55

       Yeah, 'cause I knew he was gonna, uh, y- you know, there's a, you, there would be too much to address and you have three minutes. There'd be too much, too much chaos to address.

   21. BKBert Kreischer16:05

       I hosted a show as a favor one time and ended up snapping on a lady in the audience. (laughs)

   22. (laughs)

   23. And ruined the show. And they were like, "Thanks."

   24. JRJoe Rogan16:12

       (laughs)

   25. BKBert Kreischer16:12

       (laughs)

   26. JRJoe Rogan16:12

       Why did you, uh-

   27. BKBert Kreischer16:13

       Dude, 'cause I arri- it was a showcase for Montreal and I arrived at the show before it, right? So there's like a seven o'clock thing and then the nine o'clock showcase. And they asked me to, to host it-

   28. (laughs)

   29. ... and the, and a lady at the seven o'clock show, at the earlier show is in, like, the front row just yelling out drunk. And she's older and she's like, "Yeah," like, tagging every comic's thing, commenting on it-

   30. (sighs)
3. 30:00 – 45:00

   I don't know, man.…

   1. BKBert Kreischer30:00

   2. JRJoe Rogan30:00

      I don't know, man. I'm trying to figure out what to do. I've always had that.

   3. TSTom Segura30:02

      Do both numbers go to that same phone?

   4. JRJoe Rogan30:04

      No, but the other thing about the new iPhone that Jamie was telling me is that you can, um, you can have two different phone numbers. Were you telling me that? No, Brian was. You can have two different phone numbers on the iPhone.

   5. BKBert Kreischer30:15

      On the new one.

   6. JRJoe Rogan30:16

      Yeah.

   7. TSTom Segura30:16

      Oh, yeah.

   8. JRJoe Rogan30:17

      It can take, it takes like a second card. So say like if you have a business line-

   9. BKBert Kreischer30:20

      Oh, that's-

   10. JRJoe Rogan30:20

       ... and a home line-

   11. BKBert Kreischer30:21

       Great.

   12. JRJoe Rogan30:22

       ... and then you take that SIM card out for the business line or you disable the business line. And you're like, "Fuck you."

   13. BKBert Kreischer30:27

       (laughs)

   14. TSTom Segura30:28

       Oh. Ooh.

   15. JRJoe Rogan30:28

       And then you don't get business calls. So say like if you have a phone that only like your best friends, your wife-

   16. BKBert Kreischer30:33

       Yeah.

   17. JRJoe Rogan30:33

       ... have, and then the next is like agents and other bullshit.

   18. BKBert Kreischer30:36

       Yeah.

   19. JRJoe Rogan30:37

       ... but, uh-

   20. BKBert Kreischer30:37

       Or you just set up a whole decoy number, for like people you don't wanna have your number.

   21. JRJoe Rogan30:42

       Oh, that's good. Yeah.

   22. TSTom Segura30:43

       Jesus.

   23. JRJoe Rogan30:43

       But you can also do something like that with, um ... What is that thing? Um, (smacks lips) there's a (taps table) Google Voice, right? Doesn't Google Voice have some shit like that?

   24. TSTom Segura30:54

       Yeah, you can have a separate ph- ... That's the th- ... You can have that-

   25. BKBert Kreischer30:56

       (clears throat)

   26. JRJoe Rogan30:56

       ... rerouted to your phone number-

   27. TSTom Segura30:57

       Yeah.

   28. JRJoe Rogan30:57

       ... and have like a business line kinda thing. Look, look at this. This thing, (music plays) it works as a remote control, so check this out. I'll crank it up.

   29. TSTom Segura31:07

       You take pictures with it too, right?

   30. JRJoe Rogan31:08

       Yep. Oh, yeah.
4. 45:00 – 1:00:00

   That is. That's wild,…

   1. JRJoe Rogan45:00

   2. BKBert Kreischer45:00

      That is. That's wild, man.

   3. JRJoe Rogan45:02

      Dude, that... And there's the upper deck. That-

   4. BKBert Kreischer45:05

      Holy shit.

   5. JRJoe Rogan45:06

      ... it doesn't seem real and it just happened.

   6. BKBert Kreischer45:09

      And you, you did this in the same night, uh, Burr did The Forum.

   7. JRJoe Rogan45:13

      Yeah.

   8. TSTom Segura45:14

      20,000.

   9. BKBert Kreischer45:14

      Yeah. Yeah.

   10. JRJoe Rogan45:14

       No, it's-

   11. BKBert Kreischer45:15

       No, uh, Burr didn't-

   12. JRJoe Rogan45:16

       No, The Forum's not 20,000. The Forum's-

   13. BKBert Kreischer45:17

       Bill Cir-

   14. JRJoe Rogan45:17

       ... is 9,000. The Western Forum?

   15. BKBert Kreischer45:19

       The Great Western Forum? I don't know where it is.

   16. JRJoe Rogan45:21

       Yeah.

   17. TSTom Segura45:22

       I don't... The thing online said it was 20,000 people.

   18. JRJoe Rogan45:23

       I think they're wrong 'cause Dean Delray said it was 9,000.

   19. BKBert Kreischer45:26

       Okay.

   20. JRJoe Rogan45:26

       I think they just made a mistake. But it's huge either way. It's-

   21. BKBert Kreischer45:29

       It's huge.

   22. TSTom Segura45:29

       So I was thinking last night, and I know you... I know that you're not like this. I... You know, you're a little bit like this. But to compare different times of comedy, right? Um, and compare people. And I know you don't like comparing people, but has there ever been a time in comedy where this many acts were selling arenas, this many acts were selling theaters, and this many acts were selling out clubs?

   23. JRJoe Rogan45:48

       I don't think so. Well, well, Burr sold out Madison Square Garden, which is way bigger than that. Madison Square Garden I think is 18,000.

   24. BKBert Kreischer45:55

       That's true.

   25. JRJoe Rogan45:55

       How about this? Sebastian is ready to sell four sh-... He's already sold out three.

   26. BKBert Kreischer46:00

       Yeah.

   27. JRJoe Rogan46:01

       He's... They opened up a fourth show at Madison Square Garden.

   28. BKBert Kreischer46:03

       Yeah.

   29. JRJoe Rogan46:03

       Just stop and think about that.

   30. BKBert Kreischer46:05

       Yeah.
5. 1:00:00 – 1:01:56

   Yeah. …

   1. JRJoe Rogan1:00:00

      acts, help out other comics.

   2. BKBert Kreischer1:00:01

      Yeah.

   3. JRJoe Rogan1:00:01

      And as, as you rise up, they'll do the same, they'll do the same for the other guys. And you see them doing that for, they'll tell, start taking guys with them on the road.

   4. BKBert Kreischer1:00:08

      Spread it around. Yeah.

   5. JRJoe Rogan1:00:09

      Yeah. And look, man, who do we like more than comics and where, what do you, who do you wanna hang out with more than comedians, you know?

   6. BKBert Kreischer1:00:15

      Yeah.

   7. JRJoe Rogan1:00:15

      And, and, like, they're, we're the most fun for us to hang out with. We're, we could say ridiculous shit and then we'll laugh at it. We won't, like, "Well, I don't know why you said that, Tom. You shouldn't have called that lady a cunt, especially not her friend."

   8. TSTom Segura1:00:28

      (laughs)

   9. JRJoe Rogan1:00:28

      And then, you know, "I think you owe her son an apology. I mean, if I was her son, I would've clocked you."

   10. BKBert Kreischer1:00:32

       Yeah.

   11. TSTom Segura1:00:33

       (laughs)

   12. BKBert Kreischer1:00:33

       Yeah, it's like-

   13. JRJoe Rogan1:00:34

       And people wouldn't think it's funny.

   14. BKBert Kreischer1:00:35

       Of course.

   15. JRJoe Rogan1:00:36

       If you were working at Xerox and you said all that, people would, you know, they'd bring you into HR.

   16. BKBert Kreischer1:00:39

       You're a liability. We gotta let you go.

   17. JRJoe Rogan1:00:41

       Yeah, yeah.

   18. BKBert Kreischer1:00:41

       We gotta let you go.

   19. TSTom Segura1:00:43

       (laughs)

   20. BKBert Kreischer1:00:43

       It's true. I know. And those are the worst people that, to, like, get stuck at a dinner with or something. You know?

   21. JRJoe Rogan1:00:48

       Yeah.

   22. TSTom Segura1:00:48

       Oh.

   23. BKBert Kreischer1:00:48

       You're like, "Oh, shit."

   24. JRJoe Rogan1:00:49

       Yeah.

   25. BKBert Kreischer1:00:50

       Somebody-

   26. JRJoe Rogan1:00:51

       You just gotta torture them.

   27. BKBert Kreischer1:00:51

       Yeah, it's the worst.

   28. JRJoe Rogan1:00:52

       Yeah. I used to feel terrible when I was around those people. I used to, I used to feel like there's something wrong with me. You know?

   29. BKBert Kreischer1:00:58

       Yeah. 'Cause, yeah, of course.

   30. JRJoe Rogan1:00:59

       Real stuck up, super conservative people.

Episode duration: 3:07:36