Joe Rogan Experience #1179 - Nikki Glaser

1. 0:00 – 1:13

   Sober October kickoff: Ari Shaffir’s “shenanigans” and extreme heart-rate stats

   1. NGNikki Glaser0:00

      ... go see a boxing match.

   2. JRJoe Rogan0:02

      Yeah.

   3. NGNikki Glaser0:02

      He doesn't even want that to be the-

   4. JRJoe Rogan0:03

      Three, two, one. We live? Uh, we're live. Yeah, we were just talking about, uh, Sober October and, uh, Ari Shpier and the, the speculation that he may be, in fact, uh, doing ... running some shenanigans.

   5. NGNikki Glaser0:18

      (laughs)

   6. JRJoe Rogan0:18

      We do not know.

   7. NGNikki Glaser0:20

      There ... it seems to be shenanigans at play here, but he's ... he went too strong the first day. I just don't ... I don't believe that you could sustain that amount of ... that heart rate for that long.

   8. JRJoe Rogan0:28

      He was at 80 plus. It's interesting looking at his graph, 'cause he was at 80-plus percent of his max heart rate for more than an hour and 20 minutes, which, uh ... Look, he might just be trying to kill himself. It, it ... He's got a strong will.

   9. NGNikki Glaser0:41

      Does he?

   10. JRJoe Rogan0:41

       Yes.

   11. NGNikki Glaser0:43

       I know-

   12. JRJoe Rogan0:43

       Yeah.

   13. NGNikki Glaser0:43

       ... he's shifty.

   14. JRJoe Rogan0:45

       Sh- (laughs)

   15. NANarrator0:45

       (laughs)

   16. NGNikki Glaser0:45

       And honest. Like, the thing is, he is-

   17. JRJoe Rogan0:47

       How can he be shifty and honest?

   18. NGNikki Glaser0:49

       He's ... That's the ... He ... 'Cause he'll eventually come out with, "This is what I did and of course-

   19. JRJoe Rogan0:53

       Right.

   20. NGNikki Glaser0:53

       ... I did that. You guys knew I was doing it the whole time." That's what he'll say, but I-

   21. JRJoe Rogan0:55

       That's a good impression of Ari. (laughs)

   22. NGNikki Glaser0:56

       Yeah. Thank you. Oh, come on. Yeah. Of course. Of course I was gonna do that.

   23. JRJoe Rogan1:00

       (laughs)

   24. NGNikki Glaser1:00

       So yeah, but he is shifty and hon- ... Like, he, he, he-

   25. JRJoe Rogan1:05

       He's a prankster.

   26. NGNikki Glaser1:06

       He's a prankster. He's definitely gonna do some weird stuff to get ahead in this, but he also knows he's gonna lose, too.

   27. JRJoe Rogan1:13

       Yeah.

   28. NGNikki Glaser1:13

       He's-

2. 1:13 – 2:10

   Ari’s prankster lore: the infamous ‘shit in a box’ story

   1. JRJoe Rogan1:13

      Do you know what he did in Ligion- Legion of Skanks?

   2. NGNikki Glaser1:15

      No. Oh, God.

   3. JRJoe Rogan1:16

      He sh- he shit in a box and brought-

   4. NANarrator1:18

      Mm-hmm.

   5. JRJoe Rogan1:18

      ... it onto the stage, and he had it, like, sealed up and then opened it in front of everybody. And apparently the smell was, like, so horrendous, people were bailing out of the room-

   6. NGNikki Glaser1:27

      (laughs)

   7. NANarrator1:27

      (laughs)

   8. JRJoe Rogan1:27

      ... and gagging and throwing up. That's like a public health hazard. You're not supposed to, like, have shit, human shit, in public.

   9. NGNikki Glaser1:35

      He's so weird.

   10. JRJoe Rogan1:37

       (laughs) He's the best. Love him.

   11. NGNikki Glaser1:39

       And the Legion of Skanks, they've seen everything.

   12. JRJoe Rogan1:42

       Yeah.

   13. NGNikki Glaser1:42

       And for them to be running out of the room-

   14. JRJoe Rogan1:44

       Yeah. They've done everything and seen everything-

   15. NGNikki Glaser1:46

       Mm-hmm.

   16. JRJoe Rogan1:46

       ... and Ari, and Ari still freaked 'em out.

   17. NGNikki Glaser1:49

       I can't believe that I just now heard that story. Like, that should-

   18. JRJoe Rogan1:52

       (laughs)

   19. NANarrator1:52

       (laughs)

   20. NGNikki Glaser1:52

       ... be, like, a headline, that someone shit in a box and brought it into a room where the live prod- podcast was taking place, but no.

   21. JRJoe Rogan1:58

       It was a small room, too.

   22. NGNikki Glaser2:00

       (laughs)

   23. JRJoe Rogan2:00

       I mean, it was, like, a room with, like, a hundred people in it.

   24. NGNikki Glaser2:03

       I love ... I love-

   25. JRJoe Rogan2:03

       And he opens up-

   26. NGNikki Glaser2:03

       ... someone who's not scared to, to talk about shit and deal with shit, and just-

   27. JRJoe Rogan2:07

       Yeah. No, Ari's not scared of that.

   28. NGNikki Glaser2:09

       I mean ...

3. 2:10 – 5:47

   How Joe tries to win: volume training, breaking Bert’s will, and the discipline gap

   1. JRJoe Rogan2:10

      Look, the fact that he entered into this contest at all, and he doesn't work out at all for 10 years, and then he's like, "There's a fitness contest, and the loser has to do something." We haven't totally determined-

   2. NGNikki Glaser2:21

      Yeah.

   3. JRJoe Rogan2:21

      ... what the loser has to do. Ari wants us to, like, drink each other's piss. He want-

   4. NGNikki Glaser2:25

      He wants to drink your piss.

   5. JRJoe Rogan2:26

      Yeah.

   6. NANarrator2:26

      (laughs)

   7. JRJoe Rogan2:26

      (laughs)

   8. NGNikki Glaser2:26

      That's what Ari wants to do.

   9. JRJoe Rogan2:28

      Yeah, he can't think he's gonna win.

   10. NGNikki Glaser2:29

       He's going to lose. (laughs)

   11. JRJoe Rogan2:31

       Right. He might not lose. Right now, Tom Segura's in the bottom. Tom Segura's-

   12. NGNikki Glaser2:34

       I-

   13. JRJoe Rogan2:34

       ... at the bottom.

   14. NGNikki Glaser2:35

       ... think Tom is gonna tr- ... I think he ... I mean, you're obviously set to win this thing, but I think Tom's gonna sneak up. He's playing it down. You looked at his wrist yesterday. You go, "What's that thousand-something?" "Oh, that's nothing." Just the calories he burned that day, a thousand?

   15. JRJoe Rogan2:51

       Mm.

   16. NGNikki Glaser2:51

       Tom's, Tom's sneaky.

   17. JRJoe Rogan2:53

       Hmm. Yeah.

   18. NGNikki Glaser2:54

       He's-

   19. JRJoe Rogan2:54

       A lot of people feel like that.

   20. NGNikki Glaser2:55

       I really think he's gonna-

   21. JRJoe Rogan2:56

       Yeah.

   22. NGNikki Glaser2:56

       ... he's gonna do something on this. He's gonna be the one to, to beat.

   23. JRJoe Rogan2:59

       You gotta realize, though, Bert ran a marathon. He did run a marathon.

   24. NGNikki Glaser3:02

       I know. He's got s- ... This is a ... This is fun, I have to say.

   25. NANarrator3:06

       (laughs)

   26. JRJoe Rogan3:06

       (laughs)

   27. NGNikki Glaser3:06

       'Cause I don't ... Any one of you could pull ahead, but you're the o- ... I mean, can we talk about what you did yesterday?

   28. JRJoe Rogan3:12

       Yeah. I wor- I worked out for three hours and 20 minutes. I'm trying to, I'm trying to double-

   29. NGNikki Glaser3:16

       It's a marathon.

   30. JRJoe Rogan3:17

       ... everyone. Yeah. I'm trying to break Bert's will. That's what I'm-
4. 5:47 – 8:57

   Endurance mindset: running as meditation and performance fuel

   1. JRJoe Rogan5:47

      Yeah. Well, I don't know. Who knows? You know, did you ever see ... There's a, a really interesting documentary with Eddie Izzard. And Eddie Izzard-

   2. NGNikki Glaser5:54

      (sighs)

   3. JRJoe Rogan5:54

      ... who's not a guy in really good sh- ... Did you see it?

   4. NGNikki Glaser5:56

      I didn't see it, but I know what he's done.

   5. JRJoe Rogan5:58

      I love that guy. He-

   6. NGNikki Glaser5:59

      He's so impressive.

   7. JRJoe Rogan6:00

      He's amazing.

   8. NGNikki Glaser6:01

      (laughs)

   9. JRJoe Rogan6:01

      What he did was he ran around Europe. He did a marathon a day with no training. I mean, no training. He wasn't, he wasn't in shape. He was overweight. His feet weren't prepared. His feet got destroyed. And I watched this. In the beginning, I watched it. I was like, "How is he gonna do this?" And then towards the end, I was like, "Wow, this guy is a force of will." Just sheer will. I mean, his lifestyle is not that-... he's exercising consistently, and this is just, he's just gonna do a little bit more and really push himself hard. No. No exercise.

   10. NGNikki Glaser6:34

       Yeah.

   11. JRJoe Rogan6:35

       Just, like, I don't think he exercised at all. Or if he did, it was just m- ... He just had a normal body, you know? He didn't have a body of someone who's used to-

   12. NGNikki Glaser6:43

       I know. You look at him, you go, "A marathon a day out of this guy?"

   13. JRJoe Rogan6:46

       Yeah.

   14. NGNikki Glaser6:46

       "Anyone could do that." But it's, it's so mental.

   15. JRJoe Rogan6:50

       Mental, yeah.

   16. NGNikki Glaser6:50

       And I think, I think a lot of comedians have that. Uh, uh, maybe I'm just doing the thing comedians do of patting themselves on the back for being more interesting than other people-

   17. JRJoe Rogan7:00

       (laughs)

   18. NGNikki Glaser7:00

       ... like we do all the time.

   19. JRJoe Rogan7:01

       Yeah.

   20. NGNikki Glaser7:01

       Like, we're so much more broken-

   21. JRJoe Rogan7:03

       Yeah.

   22. NGNikki Glaser7:03

       ... and we have such m- more willpower. But I think that there's ... I get obsessed with exercise too, and I really get into it. And I kind of ... I remember Louis C.K. doing some interview where he said that he runs five miles a day because on that fourth mile when he doesn't want to do the fifth, he thinks about, like, a day where he'll be on set and want to just call it a day and not push through. And it's, like, how it all relates, like-

   23. JRJoe Rogan7:24

       Mm-hmm.

   24. NGNikki Glaser7:24

       Or you'll be in the middle of an hour set, and you'll be tired, and you just ... Everything can relate to being on set or in the middle of a set. And that run five miles a day, making yourself do that, means you can get through anything. And so I, I run a lot, and I have ... I think of it the same way. It's just endurance. To perform for an hour every night, like, that's insane that we do that.

   25. JRJoe Rogan7:46

       Well, if you have more energy, you definitely can put out more during a show. So if you are in better shape-

   26. NGNikki Glaser7:51

       You'll have more cardio. You won't get exhausted. You'll be able to put out more energy. You'll be more vibrant, more robust, you know? You, you, you really k- ... I mean, in some ways, if you're doing, like, an hour a night, especially if you're doing two shows a night, right- Right.

   27. JRJoe Rogan8:06

       ... you owe it to yourself to, to have a- an energy reserve.

   28. NGNikki Glaser8:10

       Yeah. It's just that I just think that running can re- ... Running is so monotonous, and there's so many times where you could go, "I could just not do this."

   29. JRJoe Rogan8:18

       Right.

   30. NGNikki Glaser8:18

       "I could just start walking, and who cares?"
5. 8:57 – 17:46

   Nikki’s Dancing With the Stars experience: fear, injury, and harsh judging

   1. NGNikki Glaser8:57

      God. It is ... I just did Dancing With The Stars, so I'm-

   2. JRJoe Rogan9:01

      Holy shit. That's a lot of work.

   3. NGNikki Glaser9:02

      I just got eliminated last week.

   4. JRJoe Rogan9:04

      That's a lot of work.

   5. NGNikki Glaser9:05

      It was so physically exhausting for ... It was a month of my life every day, four hours a day dancing, and I've never danced before. And, um, but it was m- ... I didn't realize how mental it, it all really is.

   6. JRJoe Rogan9:20

      Oh, yeah.

   7. NGNikki Glaser9:20

      In the end, like, a- a- athletics, it's so mental. I didn't realize it because I'd never been an athlete my whole life. But before I got into this competition, I was, like, reading all the books about, like, well, I am where I am physically. That's not gonna change, so I better figure out a way to mentally overcome some stuff. And I was able to, but man, it is ... It's all that-

   8. JRJoe Rogan9:41

      Yeah.

   9. NGNikki Glaser9:42

      ... I, I feel like a lot of times. And it broke me in many ways, mentally and physically. But it was, I mean, it was m- my sober October, for sure.

   10. JRJoe Rogan9:50

       (laughs)

   11. NGNikki Glaser9:50

       It was my you working out every single day and giving it, trying to beat Bert.

   12. JRJoe Rogan9:55

       It's definitely not easy. There's n- there's nothing ... I did, um, a bunch of, uh, dancing lessons for a movie that I was in called Zookeeper with Kevin James.

   13. NGNikki Glaser10:03

       Yeah.

   14. JRJoe Rogan10:04

       Way back in the day. And, uh, I had to learn how to dance, and then I had to learn how to dance with Leslie Bibb, you know, from Talladega Nights.

   15. NGNikki Glaser10:10

       Oh, yeah.

   16. JRJoe Rogan10:10

       She was my ex-girlfriend that I was trying to win back from Kevin in the movie, so I had to learn how to ... Like, there was a scene where we dance in this ballroom, and, uh, you know, it's ... You realize how difficult it is. Like, for hours, we're practicing these moves, and it's fucking monotonous. And here's the thing. I don't give a fuck about dancing. All right? So it's something, like, I had to force myself to do that I didn't really want to do. I mean, it's not that I don't give a fuck about ... Like, dancing is fun if you just do whatever you want, but when you're doing this very specific pattern to certain music, and you did ... Ugh. Yeah.

   17. NGNikki Glaser10:45

       I cou- ... Oh, yes. This is the scene?

   18. JRJoe Rogan10:48

       (laughs) It's Kevin James and Rosario Dawson.

   19. NGNikki Glaser10:50

       Oh, I want to see you dancing. Oh, my gosh. Look at you.

   20. JRJoe Rogan10:53

       Yeah. We had to practice this shit over and over again for weeks and weeks.

   21. NGNikki Glaser10:58

       Whoa. Is that you?

   22. JRJoe Rogan10:59

       Yeah. It was-

   23. NGNikki Glaser11:00

       That was good.

   24. JRJoe Rogan11:01

       It was exhausting. There's a lot to it. (laughs) It was so stupid.

   25. NGNikki Glaser11:09

       (laughs)

   26. JRJoe Rogan11:09

       It was so stupid.

   27. NGNikki Glaser11:09

       It's so hard. Dancing is so hard. And just like you, I ... Wow, that's good. I don't, I don't care about it.

   28. JRJoe Rogan11:19

       Yeah.

   29. NGNikki Glaser11:19

       I, I, I, I don't ... It's not something ... When I want to be good at something, I will give everything to be good at it. And it ... And here's the other thing. If you have a natural ability to begin with, if someone goes, "You've got a, you've got a knack for this," you go, "Oh. Well, I'm good. I'm gonna keep trying." When I walked into this, I've never ... No one's ever been like, "You've got rhythm, girl."

   30. JRJoe Rogan11:38

       (laughs)
6. 17:46 – 32:17

   Reality competition politics: Last Comic Standing, producing, and ‘rigging’ concerns

   1. NGNikki Glaser17:46

      I did Last Comic Standing twice and got the same place. (laughs)

   2. JRJoe Rogan17:50

      (laughs)

   3. NGNikki Glaser17:50

      So, so (laughs) this isn't looking good for me. That was, that was a-

   4. JRJoe Rogan17:53

      Was it with different hosts or the same host?

   5. NGNikki Glaser17:55

      It was a different host, different judges.

   6. JRJoe Rogan17:58

      Oh.

   7. NGNikki Glaser17:58

      'Cause the first time I did it, I was in college and I like ... There was no reason for me to even get as far as I got, and I was a year in.

   8. JRJoe Rogan18:02

      But Last Comic Standing, let's be honest. Th- it was rigged.

   9. NGNikki Glaser18:06

      Wo- did you ever host or do it?

   10. JRJoe Rogan18:07

       Yes.

   11. NGNikki Glaser18:07

       Yeah, you hosted.

   12. JRJoe Rogan18:08

       I was, I was ... No. I was one of the judges.

   13. NGNikki Glaser18:10

       Okay.

   14. JRJoe Rogan18:10

       And there was, there was a real issue, uh, with one season, not with mine, but with, uh, Brett Butler, Drew Carey, and a couple other people. (clears throat) They protested because the person they voted for did not make it through 'cause the producers decided that they knew better and ... Because they wanted the television show to be more interesting. So they wanted someone more controversial or whatever, whatever it was. So it was this huge deal where they're like, "Wait a minute. Why are we here as judges if you're not even y- counting our vote? Like this is all a puppet show." Like what, what's-

   15. NGNikki Glaser18:46

       Right.

   16. JRJoe Rogan18:46

       ... happening here? And then there was also conflict because one of the guys who was a producer was also a manager of some of the people that were on the show, and people were like, "What the fuck?" You know? Just, th- there was a lot of issues. There was a lot of issues with that show.

   17. NGNikki Glaser18:59

       Yeah. But-I think that's every reality sh- c- competition show.

   18. JRJoe Rogan19:03

       Yeah, but it's a contest.

   19. NGNikki Glaser19:04

       I know.

   20. JRJoe Rogan19:04

       There's, there's rules. Like, I would tell people, like, that wanted to be on Fear Factor. Like, they would say, "Hey, man, can you get me on Fear Factor?" I'd say, "S- stop right now. There is, uh, very specific rules about game shows. Like, I can't even talk to you."

   21. NGNikki Glaser19:17

       (laughs)

   22. JRJoe Rogan19:17

       "If you wanna be on the show, I can't say, 'Hey man, I'm gonna get you on the show 'cause I like you and I'm gonna help you.' I can't do that."

   23. NGNikki Glaser19:23

       Yeah, it's... there's laws.

   24. JRJoe Rogan19:24

       Like, you can't even... If you wanna be on the show, don't talk to me.

   25. NGNikki Glaser19:27

       Right.

   26. JRJoe Rogan19:27

       Because if s- if I have to go to cour-... Like, do you remember that m- that show Quiz Show?

   27. NGNikki Glaser19:32

       Yeah. The, the, the movie-

   28. JRJoe Rogan19:33

       Yes.

   29. NGNikki Glaser19:33

       ... was based upon that controversy.

   30. JRJoe Rogan19:35

       Right.
7. 32:17 – 35:45

   Sex-comic label and the ‘blow job’ confidence theory (plus classes)

   1. NGNikki Glaser32:17

      It's, um ... Yeah. I, I don't know. I have a lot of thoughts about sex, obviously. I'm c-

   2. JRJoe Rogan32:22

      Well, your act is very much like that.

   3. NGNikki Glaser32:24

      It is, but it's ... Uh, and I hate being pegged, no pun intended-

   4. JRJoe Rogan32:29

      (laughs)

   5. NGNikki Glaser32:30

      ... as, like, a sex comic, but like, I don't ... 'Cause I just did this ABC show, Dancing With the Stars, and the whole time, I'm trying to be on my very best behavior 'cause I, I wanna play the game. I don't wanna be-

   6. JRJoe Rogan32:42

      Right.

   7. NGNikki Glaser32:42

      ... the sex girl.

   8. JRJoe Rogan32:43

      You don't wanna get kicked off from the first episode.

   9. NGNikki Glaser32:45

      Yeah. I don't wanna offend children watching at home. That's not my-

   10. JRJoe Rogan32:48

       Right.

   11. NGNikki Glaser32:48

       ... t- th- I'm never talking about sex so people go, "Ooh, she's fff-"

   12. JRJoe Rogan32:51

       You do nightclub comedy. You're there for adults.

   13. NGNikki Glaser32:53

       Well, I'm just talking about what I wanna talk about.

   14. JRJoe Rogan32:56

       Right.

   15. NGNikki Glaser32:56

       Obviously, w- we all know that. Um, but I think sometimes people are like, "You're the sex comic." It's like, I just think that's the most interesting topic right now. That's why I'm talking about it.

   16. JRJoe Rogan33:04

       Yeah.

   17. NGNikki Glaser33:05

       But I was-

   18. JRJoe Rogan33:05

       That becomes a problem, right? Like, where you get labeled?

   19. NGNikki Glaser33:08

       Yeah.

   20. JRJoe Rogan33:08

       Yeah.

   21. NGNikki Glaser33:09

       It sucks because I have ambition beyond being a comedian who talks about sex. But already, I've brought it there with you because it is my wheelhouse. I'm most comfortable talking about it. It's fun to talk about. I have a lot of opinions about it. But I was trying to behave myself so much on Dancing With the Stars because I don't wanna be l- labeled as that. But I ... And I also was like ... didn't have sex 'til I was 21. I-

   22. JRJoe Rogan33:32

       Really?

   23. NGNikki Glaser33:33

       Yeah. I was not, like-

   24. JRJoe Rogan33:34

       How come?

   25. NGNikki Glaser33:34

       And then I didn't ... Because I was, um ... All through high school, I was just, like, scared of guys. I don't know why. I was just scared of intimacy, scared of boys, couldn't ... didn't kiss a boy until I was 17 and even then, it was, like, one shot deal and then I didn't do it for years. And then I got an eating disorder, which, like, pushed men away because I looked like a skeleton. And then as soon as I was able ... Then I, I had sex but it was years and years ... U- un- until I started, like, drinking, I couldn't have sex.

   26. JRJoe Rogan34:02

       (laughs)

   27. NGNikki Glaser34:02

       And then I quit drinking and I couldn't have sex again.

   28. JRJoe Rogan34:05

       Think about how many people have gotten laid because of booze.

   29. NGNikki Glaser34:08

       Everyone.

   30. JRJoe Rogan34:09

       It's stunning.
8. 35:45 – 44:33

   Sobriety, casual sex, and consent culture: alcohol’s role in intimacy

   1. JRJoe Rogan35:45

      Yeah.

   2. NGNikki Glaser35:45

      ... point right now, is like, I can't have ... I'm, like, single. I can't even have casual sex because I'm sober.

   3. JRJoe Rogan35:49

      So how long you been sober?

   4. NGNikki Glaser35:51

      Seven- it'll be seven years in December, from alcohol.

   5. JRJoe Rogan35:53

      Whoa.

   6. NGNikki Glaser35:53

      Yeah.

   7. JRJoe Rogan35:54

      Whoa.

   8. NGNikki Glaser35:54

      Yeah. And before then, I was hooking up a-left and right.

   9. JRJoe Rogan35:59

      (laughs)

   10. NGNikki Glaser35:59

       It was so fun. I was blacking out just to have sex because I was scared of intimacy. I'm realizing all of this now is like, I don't-

   11. JRJoe Rogan36:05

       You going through therapy, the whole deal? You doing all that jazz?

   12. NGNikki Glaser36:08

       Yeah, I go through therapy. I work on myself constantly. I meditate. I do all the things-

   13. JRJoe Rogan36:12

       Mm-hmm.

   14. NGNikki Glaser36:12

       ... and I'm ... I, I don't know if I'm any ... I am better for it, but m- I realize that I'm not get- I'm not having sex and it's not fun.

   15. JRJoe Rogan36:20

       Right.

   16. NGNikki Glaser36:20

       Like, I am. I'm hooking up with ex-boyfriends, which, uh, you know, that's 'cause there's no pressure there of like, this is new.

   17. JRJoe Rogan36:26

       Right. Right. Right.

   18. NGNikki Glaser36:26

       And am I gonna catch feelings? It's like they've already been had or they're-

   19. JRJoe Rogan36:30

       Right.

   20. NGNikki Glaser36:30

       Or they'll bubble up again for-

   21. JRJoe Rogan36:31

       You just get to scratch an itch.

   22. NGNikki Glaser36:33

       Yes. Yes. But n- but having, like, new sex casually, like, I just can't ... I can't even imagine doing that. But I had so much when I drank because it just makes everything easier.

   23. JRJoe Rogan36:45

       Yeah.

   24. NGNikki Glaser36:46

       And I used to just ... Uh, uh, and, and I ask the crowd sometimes. I'm like, "Have you guys ever ... Who here has had sex for the first time with someone where both of you were stone-cold sober?" First time sex. Literally two people raised their hand in a r- in the main room in c- the comedy store.

   25. JRJoe Rogan37:02

       Porn stars. (laughs)

   26. NGNikki Glaser37:03

       N- exactly. No. You're so right.

   27. JRJoe Rogan37:06

       (laughs)

   28. NGNikki Glaser37:06

       No one.

   29. JRJoe Rogan37:07

       Yeah.

   30. NGNikki Glaser37:07

       Listening at home right now, wherever you are-
9. 44:33 – 47:20

   Depression, suicidal ideation, and meditation as daily maintenance

   1. JRJoe Rogan44:33

      So, what do you think that is? Do you think that's a genetic thing? Do you think your, it runs in your family?

   2. NGNikki Glaser44:38

      I think it must run in my family. I think we have stuff that I haven't even, like, g- found out a- like, there's some s- sus- suspicious deaths in my family that I'm like, "Was that ..."

   3. JRJoe Rogan44:48

      Suicide?

   4. NGNikki Glaser44:49

      Yeah.

   5. JRJoe Rogan44:49

      Yeah.

   6. NGNikki Glaser44:49

      You know? Where I'm like, I think it's ...

   7. JRJoe Rogan44:51

      Describe how it feels. Like, what does your depression feel like?

   8. NGNikki Glaser44:54

      It feels like ... I, it honestly, I, I get suicidal thoughts, not like, "I sh- I should kill myself." It's like, "Kill yourself. It would be fun to kill yourself." They come-

   9. JRJoe Rogan45:08

      It'd be fun? (laughs)

   10. NGNikki Glaser45:08

       Literally soothing. It soothes me to think about killing myself when I'm in my worst, uh, depressive stages. And it is a- I compare it to, like, sniffles when you're getting a cold. Like, I have a little, a little thought will go, "Oh, shoot yourself in the head."

   11. JRJoe Rogan45:23

       Whoa.

   12. NGNikki Glaser45:23

       Like, it literally comes into my head like a sniffle, where you're like, "Oh, God. I'm getting sick again. Okay, I gotta meditate now, and then it'll, and then I'll be fine." Like literally, it's like that. And-

   13. JRJoe Rogan45:35

       What, what is, what's before the, "Shoot yourself"? Nothing?

   14. NGNikki Glaser45:40

       Nothing. And that's the-

   15. JRJoe Rogan45:41

       Whoa.

   16. NGNikki Glaser45:41

       ... that's the problem, is like-

   17. JRJoe Rogan45:43

       Geez.

   18. NGNikki Glaser45:43

       ... it just is ... You know, it can be, it can be, um, pff ... It may be it's circumstantial a little bit, like maybe I'm feeling lonely that day, or, uh, uh, I didn't get a thing that I wanted, or I ... Uh, but I really do think it's like the weather. Like, it, I just can't even describe it. I remember Sarah Silverman talking about her depression, like it's like just a cloud comes over you, and you're just like, "Oh, well, here it comes," and that's kind of how it feels. And I totally have it under control when I'm meditating every day. It doesn't, I don't get a single one of those thoughts.

   19. JRJoe Rogan46:13

       Really?

   20. NGNikki Glaser46:13

       But, like, if I skip a day, if I don't do TM one day, those thoughts keep, they come in. And then if I ... And then you c- if you get into a real bad spot, you, those thoughts start ... I, and I've never even so much as made an attempt or even planned to make an attempt. Like, it's never gotten to that, even close to that for me. But, I realize that these are the same kinda thoughts that people that end up doing this start with.

   21. JRJoe Rogan46:38

       Mm-hmm.

   22. NGNikki Glaser46:38

       Like, there's some kind of, like ... I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm ... People who love me and care about me get so upset when I talk about this, but I think that more people struggle with these thoughts than talk about, so I, I'm eager to share it, because I don't think I'm ever gonna kill myself, and I don't think that that's ... But I think that, like a lot of people, I'm at risk, and I don't think that people talk about that enough.

   23. JRJoe Rogan47:03

       Right. Mm-hmm.

   24. NGNikki Glaser47:03

       That, 'cause I do have these thoughts, and I g- it's not even like I go, "What can I do to make myself feel better? Oh, I could kill myself." It literally is like, "Kill yourself." It's like a little voice or something. And I've struggled with mental illness before. I mean, I had anorexia where it was like, "Don't eat," and you're like, "Where's that? Who's that?" But it's s- it's a voice.

10. 47:20 – 1:03:13

    Anorexia origin story and recovery: hospitalization, identity, and disassociating the ‘voice’

    1. JRJoe Rogan47:20

       Did you have, "Don't eat," because you thought you were overweight, or, "Don't eat," because you thought you'd be more attractive if you looked like-

    2. NGNikki Glaser47:26

       Oh, I mean-

    3. JRJoe Rogan47:27

       ... a, a, a rail?

    4. NGNikki Glaser47:28

       Y- I mean, it starts-

    5. JRJoe Rogan47:29

       Or was it, was it vague?

    6. NGNikki Glaser47:31

       It's-

    7. JRJoe Rogan47:31

       Was the direction vague, or was it just, like, a, an obsession?

    8. NGNikki Glaser47:34

       It, it was, it started out, like, you know, um, high school. I should be skinny. Everyone should be skinny. I admi- I, like, wanted to be a, famous someday, and I looked at, I admi- like, I idolized everyone in the magazines, the whole classic thing of, like, looking literally in magazines and being like, "I wanna look like that. I hate my s-" pinching my sides, being like, uh, "If I'm not like that, then I'm worthless." Having a mom who constantly hated her body, m- was skinnier than me and s- constantly said she was fat, and things like that.

    9. JRJoe Rogan48:01

       Mm-hmm.

    10. NGNikki Glaser48:01

        Like, where you just, you have things modeled for you, so I grew up thinking skinny equals more lovable. And then I lost weight just b- because, um, my senior year I lost weight because a boy liked me that I liked, who I liked back, and I was, like, very nervous about it. Like, you know when you just get nervous-

    11. JRJoe Rogan48:17

        Right.

    12. NGNikki Glaser48:17

        ... so you d- you can't, you don't eat that day? And I had a date with this guy. It was my first date ever, and I just, that day, I didn't eat 'cause I was just nervous. And then the next day, it showed up on me, 'cause someone goes, "You look great. What's going on?" And I was like, "Oh, I just didn't eat yesterday." Like, "I can do that again."

    13. JRJoe Rogan48:32

        So, it's basically the same thing as saying, "You're really funny."

    14. NGNikki Glaser48:35

        "You're funny."

    15. JRJoe Rogan48:35

        "You got a talent for that." (laughs) You're open to suggestion.

    16. NGNikki Glaser48:38

        I'm really good-

    17. JRJoe Rogan48:39

        You, you could join a cult.

    18. NGNikki Glaser48:40

        Uh, dude, I know.

    19. JRJoe Rogan48:42

        (laughs)

    20. NGNikki Glaser48:42

        I, I'm scared of it. I've n- uh, the thing is, I, I am open to suggestion, but the thing is I am good at, at losing weight. I n- I can, I can stick to a diet, and I can black and white things. I can say, "I'm not drinking for seven..." I can, I can quit things.

    21. JRJoe Rogan48:57

        Right.

    22. NGNikki Glaser48:57

        I can quit eating.

    23. JRJoe Rogan48:58

        Mm-hmm.

    24. NGNikki Glaser48:59

        And I have good w- it's like willpower.

    25. JRJoe Rogan49:01

        Right.

    26. NGNikki Glaser49:01

        And I learned that, like, oh, for the first time, like, I could do this. And so I just stopped eating, and then the, for a while, you get, like, super hot. Like, I was very popular for a couple weeks, and then-

    27. JRJoe Rogan49:12

        (laughs)

    28. NGNikki Glaser49:12

        For a hot second. I was hot for a second, and then I got so scary skinny, and then I couldn't stop.

    29. JRJoe Rogan49:18

        Oh, wow.

    30. NGNikki Glaser49:18

        You're, you were just like, I go, I, well, I don't ... Everyone's like, "Hey, you looked great, like, a week ago. Like, right now it's, like, kind of, of concern." And I'm like, "Well, I don't know what to do, because if I eat, I'll just get fat again." And so I just ...... I, this is all I know now. And then it becomes if you eat, you're weak, and then it becomes obsessive-compulsive. And then, it's not even about being thin anymore-
11. 1:03:13 – 1:10:13

    Aging, body image, and cosmetic surgery ‘monster face’—plus psychedelics as perspective reset

    1. NGNikki Glaser1:03:13

       And that's what I'm in a mad dash to do, Joe, is like-

    2. JRJoe Rogan1:03:16

       To fix yourself?

    3. NGNikki Glaser1:03:17

       Well, just... No. To... Yeah. To get to love myself enough through therapy, meditation, just to love myself on the inside enough that I don't... 'Cause as I age, as you age, especially in this business, things aren't as good for w-... As you age as a woman, things get shittier. Like you become less valuable to s- society based on the fact that you're aging. It's just the-

    4. JRJoe Rogan1:03:40

       In this business.

    5. NGNikki Glaser1:03:40

       In this business and in life. Like I remember the first ti-... I remember one time I was hanging out in high school with my girlfriends and I remember th- their mom, her-... This girl's mom always used to just kind of say things that she envied our youth a lot. And, and when you're young you're just like, "Okay, old lady. What are you cons-..." You know?

    6. JRJoe Rogan1:03:57

       (laughs)

    7. NGNikki Glaser1:03:57

       "Just get out of here. What are you..." You're saying these sad things and then just walking out of the room silently.

    8. JRJoe Rogan1:04:02

       (laughs)

    9. NGNikki Glaser1:04:02

       Like, but she would say these things and one day, the one thing she said really got to me. She was like, "You girls are all so young and thin and beautiful. You know, I remember, I remember the last time a man held the door for me." And then she just left the room. And I'm like, "Oh, there's a day that that just stops?"

    10. JRJoe Rogan1:04:20

        Wow. That's ridiculous. I hold the-

    11. NGNikki Glaser1:04:21

        Of course.

    12. JRJoe Rogan1:04:22

        ... door for old ladies all the time. That's stupid. (laughs)

    13. NGNikki Glaser1:04:24

        But I, I think she meant-

Episode duration: 2:50:55