Joe Rogan Experience #1182 - Nick Kroll

1. 0:00 – 15:00

   Five, four, three, two...…

   1. JRJoe Rogan0:01

      Five, four, three, two... Hello, Nick.

   2. NKNick Kroll0:07

      (laughs) Hi, Joe. How you doing?

   3. JRJoe Rogan0:08

      S- sorry for the delay.

   4. NKNick Kroll0:10

      (laughs)

   5. JRJoe Rogan0:10

      We had a, a failure, ladies and gentlemen. A catastrophic failure of Windows updating. It sort of, uh, updated and hung on the, the TriCaster, but we're back.

   6. NKNick Kroll0:20

      And it seems to be fine. Ev- everything's working.

   7. JRJoe Rogan0:22

      Allegedly.

   8. NKNick Kroll0:23

      (laughs)

   9. JRJoe Rogan0:24

      Allegedly. We'll see.

   10. NKNick Kroll0:24

       There's that, there's that fear when you're like, "Fuck, I'm turning off the update. I'm gonna start again."

   11. JRJoe Rogan0:28

       Yeah.

   12. NKNick Kroll0:28

       Then you lose everything.

   13. JRJoe Rogan0:30

       That is the one annoying thing. We were talking about this before the podcast. I s- I've been using Windows to write on, and I like, uh, the ThinkPad. I really like it. I love the keyboard, it's great to write on. But Windows updates, like, two or three times a day sometimes. Not just Windows, but, like, Lenovo will update, and there's some s- firmware update, and a BIOS update.

   14. NKNick Kroll0:50

       Adobe Acrobat's checking in.

   15. JRJoe Rogan0:52

       Yeah.

   16. NKNick Kroll0:52

       Wanna know if we can-

   17. JRJoe Rogan0:54

       Bit Defender updates.

   18. NKNick Kroll0:56

       (laughs) Yeah, the, uh... I haven't used a ThinkPad. They, they got the... Still have that little, like, clip right in the middle?

   19. JRJoe Rogan1:00

       Still got the little clip.

   20. NKNick Kroll1:01

       (laughs)

   21. JRJoe Rogan1:01

       I don't use it-

   22. NKNick Kroll1:03

       No.

   23. JRJoe Rogan1:03

       ... but it's there. I guess it's for people that have been using it forever.

   24. NKNick Kroll1:06

       Right.

   25. JRJoe Rogan1:06

       It's very accurate if you do use it.

   26. NKNick Kroll1:08

       Right.

   27. JRJoe Rogan1:09

       It's like one of those things where you're just sorta used to muscle memory or used to doing it, and then they touch the other buttons with their thumb.

   28. NKNick Kroll1:15

       Right, g- they can still do shit. And it has the mouse at the, the keypad.

   29. JRJoe Rogan1:18

       Mm-hmm.

   30. NKNick Kroll1:19

       I mean, it's so... It's-
2. 15:00 – 30:00

   Oh, yeah. …

   1. NKNick Kroll15:00

      put myself on tape in New York.

   2. JRJoe Rogan15:01

      Oh, yeah.

   3. NKNick Kroll15:02

      You can hear the, you can hear the... (mimics static)

   4. JRJoe Rogan15:04

      Yeah. (laughs)

   5. NKNick Kroll15:06

      And I would try to shoot myself to fucking try to get a, you know, you know.

   6. JRJoe Rogan15:10

      There it is. That's what I had.

   7. NKNick Kroll15:11

      Oh, wow.

   8. JRJoe Rogan15:11

      I had one of those things.

   9. NKNick Kroll15:13

      And that's a, and it's one, (laughs) one megapixel.

   10. JRJoe Rogan15:15

       (laughs) It's a piece of shit.

   11. NKNick Kroll15:16

       And it was probably, like, $2,000.

   12. JRJoe Rogan15:18

       Probably. Yeah. And before that, when I first came out here in 1994, uh, I had a meeting with this guy who was, like, one of the, the bigwigs at Disney. And he had a Newton. Do you remember a Newton?

   13. NKNick Kroll15:32

       Y- yeah, vaguely.

   14. JRJoe Rogan15:33

       It was like a tablet. And he was all so happy about this. He had... All, all very organized on his Newton.

   15. NKNick Kroll15:40

       (laughs)

   16. JRJoe Rogan15:40

       He had, like, this, this fucking... It was like a... He had a thesaurus with a screen. That's what it looked like, this big, stupid fucking thing. And it had, you know, a little stylus, and he was-

   17. NKNick Kroll15:50

       It was this... Yeah.

   18. JRJoe Rogan15:51

       ... writing things on it.

   19. NKNick Kroll15:52

       Was this in the years, like, between S-... when Jobs had gotten fired, and they were like... Or was he still there-

   20. JRJoe Rogan15:58

       Yeah. That was... I think that was when, right?

   21. NKNick Kroll16:00

       ... in the lost years? I just saw a... Alan Alda just posted a thing on, uh, his old Atari commercials. I guess he was, like, the spokesman for Atari. And it's him talking about, "Atari, you could also use for word processing." And then also that they had, like, a very early tablet. He's like, "You can draw and paint on it." And I was like, "Shit, that's not bad, man."

   22. JRJoe Rogan16:19

       Yeah.

   23. NKNick Kroll16:19

       This is, like, '84.

   24. JRJoe Rogan16:21

       Wow.

   25. NKNick Kroll16:22

       And... Which I'm like, "I don't know what that was," but it was Atari, early Atari shit. You could paint and draw on it, I guess. I don't know.

   26. JRJoe Rogan16:28

       Well, they're... The things that they can do now, this- these new... Oh, look at this.

   27. NKNick Kroll16:31

       Oh, yeah. There's-

   28. JRJoe Rogan16:32

       There's Alan Alda.

   29. NKNick Kroll16:32

       Yeah.

   30. JRJoe Rogan16:34

       (laughs)
3. 30:00 – 45:00

   Right. …

   1. NKNick Kroll30:00

      doing other comedians.

   2. JRJoe Rogan30:01

      Right.

   3. NKNick Kroll30:01

      Like, there's some weird kinda code that I don't know what-

   4. JRJoe Rogan30:04

      Yeah, I know.

   5. NKNick Kroll30:04

      You know what I mean?

   6. JRJoe Rogan30:05

      You feel like a dick, yeah.

   7. NKNick Kroll30:06

      You feel like a dick. I try not to talk shit about comedian- it just, it's like, I- I don't know why. It's like... But I did it, it was one of my first gigs that was like, "Oh, cool, I got to be on American Dad!" I did Andy Dick. I, it was, uh, looking back, I would not-... probably do it now, where, you know-

   8. JRJoe Rogan30:21

      Did you do it over the top?

   9. NKNick Kroll30:22

      I don't know. I just did Andy Dick.

   10. JRJoe Rogan30:24

       (laughs)

   11. NKNick Kroll30:24

       I don't know, isn't Andy kind of over the top as he... You know what I mean? Like-

   12. JRJoe Rogan30:27

       Yeah.

   13. NKNick Kroll30:28

       I did not mean... It was not being like, "Oh, I'm gonna go fucking get Andy Dick." But anyway, when I saw him, when I... Since then, I've seen him over the years and, and I like him and I think he... When he's sober, he's like, you know, "I saw your impression of me." And he's like-

   14. JRJoe Rogan30:45

       (laughs)

   15. NKNick Kroll30:45

       And he's kind of like, "It's funny." You know? And then I've seen him drunk and he's like, "So," you know? It's like a very different-

   16. JRJoe Rogan30:54

       (laughs)

   17. NKNick Kroll30:54

       It's a very different version of it.

   18. JRJoe Rogan30:57

       (sighs)

   19. NKNick Kroll30:57

       And I'm like-

   20. JRJoe Rogan30:58

       (sighs)

   21. NKNick Kroll30:58

       But, you know... But I get it, man. If someone did a fucking impression of me on some animated show, I don't know, I'd probably... I'm like, "No, I'll do the impression of me."

   22. JRJoe Rogan31:07

       Yeah.

   23. NKNick Kroll31:07

       I'll do... Let me, let me control my narrative here.

   24. JRJoe Rogan31:10

       I think y- you gotta take your lumps.

   25. NKNick Kroll31:12

       I guess so.

   26. JRJoe Rogan31:13

       If you're dishing them out, you gotta take your lumps. (laughs)

   27. NKNick Kroll31:16

       Yeah. (laughs) Yeah. Well, 'cause then he's done it, you know? But if you go back and watch Stiller, the Stiller Show, he's funny as shit, man.

   28. JRJoe Rogan31:21

       Oh, that was a great show. People forgot about the Stiller Show.

   29. NKNick Kroll31:23

       Yeah, t-

   30. JRJoe Rogan31:24

       That was a fucking great show.
4. 45:00 – 1:00:00

   That's crazy. …

   1. JRJoe Rogan45:00

      up. I decided to sh- over the last couple of days, 'cause I took three days off t- 'cause I had to go to Vegas and I had to work. And then I decided, uh, yesterday, I'm gonna fuck these guys up. So yesterday and today, I've been hitting it hard. I did three and a half hours today. Yeah.

   2. NKNick Kroll45:14

      That's crazy.

   3. JRJoe Rogan45:16

      Mm-hmm.

   4. NKNick Kroll45:16

      Do you feel good? How do you-

   5. JRJoe Rogan45:17

      I feel great.

   6. NKNick Kroll45:17

      Yeah. I mean, I ... yeah. And, and physically, do you feel different? Yeah, do you, you do or do not feel different, like, uh, being completely sober?

   7. JRJoe Rogan45:25

      Um, well, I'm definitely high as fuck from all this running.

   8. NKNick Kroll45:28

      Yeah.

   9. JRJoe Rogan45:29

      There's no doubt about that. That's real. Like, runner's high is legit. Like, if you run for two hours and then a rock falls on your car from the sky, you'd be like, "Hmm, guess I lost my car."

   10. NKNick Kroll45:39

       Right.

   11. JRJoe Rogan45:40

       (laughs)

   12. NKNick Kroll45:41

       (laughs)

   13. JRJoe Rogan45:42

       You get so silly. It's, uh ... and I get the same way from yoga.

   14. NKNick Kroll45:45

       Yeah.

   15. JRJoe Rogan45:46

       You get silly. You ... there's a silliness to you.

   16. NKNick Kroll45:48

       Yeah. I, I don't ... I hate running so much. I fucking hate it. I'd rather go, like, uh, I started playing soccer again.

   17. JRJoe Rogan45:56

       Soccer's great.

   18. NKNick Kroll45:57

       Yeah. Which-

   19. JRJoe Rogan45:57

       That's serious aerobic workout.

   20. NKNick Kroll45:59

       That's intense. Like, I finished that ... My problem is I turn bright red as soon as I do anything with any ... and I'm, like, the color, like, a deep maroon.

   21. JRJoe Rogan46:08

       (laughs)

   22. NKNick Kroll46:08

       And I'm like f- ... but it's great, but I need, I need a game attached to it.

   23. JRJoe Rogan46:12

       Yeah.

   24. NKNick Kroll46:12

       I can't just run.

   25. JRJoe Rogan46:13

       That's why jujitsu is so good for me. That's what I love about jujitsu. You're doing something.

   26. NKNick Kroll46:18

       Yes.

   27. JRJoe Rogan46:18

       You're trying to, you know, you- you're doing a martial art, and-

   28. NKNick Kroll46:21

       Yeah.

   29. JRJoe Rogan46:21

       ... it's, it's exhausting.

   30. NKNick Kroll46:22

       Yes.
5. 1:00:00 – 1:05:26

   Ah. …

   1. JRJoe Rogan1:00:00

      for creating LSD, I think they were, they were trying to come up with a drug to induce labor.

   2. NKNick Kroll1:00:08

      Ah.

   3. JRJoe Rogan1:00:08

      I'm pretty sure that was the r- original. I think that's what they were working on. And in the process, synthesized LSD. And LSD as a compound, and i- it's one of those unbelievably potent compounds, where someone, I think it was Terrence McKenna described it as the, the power to weight ratio is so huge that it's like if you had one ant that dismantled the Statue of Liberty in 30 minutes.

   4. NKNick Kroll1:00:40

      (laughs)

   5. JRJoe Rogan1:00:40

      Like, that's how, that's how potent LSD is.

   6. NKNick Kroll1:00:44

      Yeah. Well, I, I mean, I took, you know-

   7. JRJoe Rogan1:00:46

      He actually said the Empire State Building.

   8. NKNick Kroll1:00:48

      Jesus.

   9. JRJoe Rogan1:00:48

      Yeah.

   10. NKNick Kroll1:00:48

       I took a, I'd mean, I t- I took a, a responsible amount.

   11. JRJoe Rogan1:00:52

       Mm.

   12. NKNick Kroll1:00:52

       Like I was like, "I don't need to like, lose my mind here."

   13. JRJoe Rogan1:00:55

       I've only micro dosed it.

   14. NKNick Kroll1:00:56

       Yeah.

   15. JRJoe Rogan1:00:56

       Y- I've only ... Well, one, one time I doubled the micro- ... But still, it was a small dose.

   16. NKNick Kroll1:01:02

       It-

   17. JRJoe Rogan1:01:02

       But it was enough to just like, "Mm, okay, there it is."

   18. NKNick Kroll1:01:05

       Yeah.

   19. JRJoe Rogan1:01:05

       "I had planned the synthesis of the compound when the intention of obtaining a circulatory and respiratory stimulant," Hofmann wrote. "The new substance however arose no special interest in our pharmacologic s- pharmacologists and physicians. Testing was therefore discontinued."

   20. NKNick Kroll1:01:20

       Huh.

   21. JRJoe Rogan1:01:20

       Hmm. Why did I think, uh-

   22. NKNick Kroll1:01:23

       Maybe because he was on his bike.

   23. JRJoe Rogan1:01:24

       ... creation of lysergic acid. 25th attempt, aptly named-

   24. NKNick Kroll1:01:27

       Wow.

   25. JRJoe Rogan1:01:27

       ... LSD 25.

   26. NKNick Kroll1:01:29

       Not knowing, he was not after, like, a psychedelic drug experience.

   27. JRJoe Rogan1:01:32

       No, I don't believe so. No.

   28. NKNick Kroll1:01:33

       Dosed at 4:20 PM, y'all. Look at him-

   29. JRJoe Rogan1:01:35

       Did he really?

   30. NKNick Kroll1:01:35

       ... look at it go down. Look at that. Go down a little bit.

Episode duration: 2:23:48