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Joe Rogan Experience #1210 - Tom Papa

Tom Papa is a comedian, actor, writer and television/radio host. His podcast "Come To Papa" is available through All Things Comedy on iTunes.

Joe RoganhostTom PapaguestGuestguest
Dec 4, 20183h 17mWatch on YouTube ↗

EVERY SPOKEN WORD

  1. 0:0015:00

    ... interesting how, how…

    1. JR

      ... interesting how, how promotions work.

    2. TP

      (laughs) Yeah. (laughs)

    3. JR

      Here we go. Four, three, two, one. So, Tom Pop and I are sitting here.

    4. TP

      Yeah.

    5. JR

      And I say, "Do you s- did you see the fight on Saturday night?"

    6. TP

      (laughs)

    7. JR

      And he said, "The guy that got knocked down? Mental health guy?"

    8. TP

      The mental health guy?

    9. JR

      (laughs) No.

    10. TP

      The guy who got up for everyone with mental health? (laughs)

    11. JR

      Yeah. But he said, "No, I didn't see the fight." Like-

    12. TP

      "I only saw, (laughs) I only saw that."

    13. JR

      ... this is how narratives work.

    14. TP

      Yeah.

    15. JR

      You know what I mean? Like, in this day and age especially-

    16. TP

      (laughs)

    17. JR

      ... there's way too much information out there, right?

    18. TP

      Yeah.

    19. JR

      Like, there's no way you could see every television show or watch every sporting event-

    20. TP

      No.

    21. JR

      ... or, or know every scandal.

    22. TP

      (laughs) Yeah.

    23. JR

      So when something happens, you're like, "Oh, uh, the blurb, the, the, the little summary that I have absorbed..."

    24. TP

      Yeah. My, my one buddy watched it on Instagram. He posted a thing.

    25. JR

      (laughs)

    26. TP

      And it was very heartfelt that he got up for all the (laughs) people with mental health.

    27. JR

      Yeah.

    28. TP

      And, uh, I read that and I feel like I experienced the whole thing. (laughs) But, you know, it's funny. I don't know if he won or lost. I know he got up.

    29. JR

      It was a draw.

    30. TP

      Oh, okay.

  2. 15:0030:00

    He makes them all…

    1. JR

      anywhere. His cues are very expensive on the aftermarket too.

    2. TP

      He makes them all by hand? Like, that kind of thing?

    3. JR

      He... Well, he designs them all and then he uses, um, computer-controlled machines, they're called CNC machines-

    4. TP

      Mm-hmm.

    5. JR

      ... to put everything together and piece it so that everything's perfect.

    6. TP

      Wow.

    7. JR

      Yeah, but they're all, like, his designs and very-

    8. TP

      Is that like 3D printing?

    9. JR

      No. No.

    10. TP

      No?

    11. JR

      It's, um, it's... What it is is like you have a design and you put it into this computer and you, you put the spe-... I, I don't know 100% of the process, but-

    12. TP

      Right.

    13. JR

      ... you put your... the specifications, like how wide you want inlays to be and h-... and they make them exactly the same size and the points fit exactly the same way.

    14. TP

      Wow. Impressive.

    15. JR

      Yeah. It's all super complicated stuff. But the point is, like, if you were a guy who wanted to buy a pool cue and you just, you know, went to a website-

    16. TP

      Right.

    17. JR

      ... you're, you're lost. You're lost like me trying to buy wine.

    18. TP

      In a wine shop.

    19. JR

      Yeah. Like, "I don't know what the fuck I'm looking at."

    20. TP

      (laughs) Right, exactly. Yeah.

    21. JR

      Yeah. It's weird.

    22. TP

      Yeah. This is good wine though. What is this?

    23. JR

      It's very good. This is, uh, says Chateau Vigneaux.

    24. TP

      Ooh, I didn't know you spoke French.

    25. JR

      I do. I do. Oui, oui. You see French... Paris is going crazy right now?

    26. TP

      Ah.

    27. JR

      They've been having these crazy riots.

    28. TP

      No. What's up?

    29. JR

      Every time I think about visiting Paris, there's some new shit that goes down over there.

    30. TP

      I know. It kind of feels like a little, like a, like a jewel box that is about to explode (laughs) all the time.

  3. 30:0045:00

    Yeah, your dog's not…

    1. JR

      but-

    2. TP

      Yeah, your dog's not like, "I wonder what my dad's doing now."

    3. JR

      Yeah. He-

    4. TP

      "Why did he leave me?"

    5. JR

      Yeah.

    6. TP

      (laughs)

    7. JR

      He's like, " (yawns) Maybe we're gonna go to an awesome house together in the woods." No, but he's got certain instincts, like, he lifts up his leg to piss on things.

    8. TP

      Yeah.

    9. JR

      You know, he smells things. Like, and, and he chases squirrels. Like, there's, there's things that are in ... He's a retriever, right? He's a golden retriever, so he brings things back. I mean, that's like-

    10. TP

      Right.

    11. JR

      I had Pit Bulls before and th- they'll bring things back, but you gotta teach them.

    12. TP

      Right.

    13. JR

      They don't wanna bring things back, and they definitely don't wanna let go.

    14. TP

      Right.

    15. JR

      What they wanna do is play tug-of-war with shit. Like, but he lets things go.

    16. TP

      Yeah.

    17. JR

      And it's, like, natural for him.

    18. TP

      That soft mouth.

    19. JR

      Yes.

    20. TP

      Yeah.

    21. JR

      His very soft mouth.

    22. TP

      I have a black Lab-

    23. JR

      Yeah.

    24. TP

      ... who does the same thing.

    25. JR

      They hold things gently because they're used to retrieving ducks and, and-

    26. TP

      Yeah.

    27. JR

      ... animal ... And pheasants that people shoot. That's what they were raised for.

    28. TP

      Yeah.

    29. JR

      So he brings things back. Like, when I get him up in the morning, right?

    30. TP

      Uh-huh.

  4. 45:001:00:00

    Mm-hmm. …

    1. TP

      and the first thing she wants to as- she asks when I come back is, "Who, who was there? Who did you see?"

    2. JR

      Mm-hmm.

    3. TP

      And it's like, "Oh, I saw Steve Byrne. I saw the, who," whatever, and she's like, "Oh." She wants-

    4. JR

      Right.

    5. TP

      ... because she doesn't, she's not part of the community. Like, she is, but she doesn't get to visit.

    6. JR

      Yeah, yeah.

    7. TP

      So it's like she misses that sense. And we're very lucky-

    8. JR

      Right.

    9. TP

      ... to have that-

    10. JR

      Yeah.

    11. TP

      ... as grown men, to be able to like walk into this very fun community that you're a part of.

    12. JR

      Yeah, man.

    13. TP

      It gives you meaning. It gives you a-

    14. JR

      Yeah.

    15. TP

      ... sense of, of belonging. And that's what a lot of people don't have nowadays. It's, it's very, uh, a- a- according to David Brooks, it's the reason for everybody's malaise.

    16. JR

      I think there's certainly something to that. I think the, it's weird living in places where you don't know your neighbors, you know? I mean, that's-

    17. TP

      Mm-hmm.

    18. JR

      ... that's fucking weird. I mean...

    19. TP

      Yeah.

    20. JR

      Uh, Norton was telling me that he lives in this big apartment building in New York City and, um, I think he's, uh... I mean, there's gotta be hundreds of people living in that building.

    21. TP

      Oh, easy.

    22. JR

      It's a huge, huge building.

    23. TP

      Yeah, I know where he is.

    24. JR

      He doesn't know anybody.

    25. TP

      Weird.

    26. JR

      He says no, doesn't know anybody. He says he tries to say hi to his neighbor and they look at him like he's a fucking murderer. (laughs)

    27. TP

      (laughs)

    28. JR

      Like, like, nobody's friendly to anybody.

    29. TP

      Yeah.

    30. JR

      It's like-

  5. 1:00:001:07:17

    Oh my God. …

    1. GU

    2. TP

      Oh my God.

    3. JR

      Woo, that's so spiritual.

    4. GU

      70 years old, he looks pretty good for a 70-year-old. (laughs)

    5. TP

      (laughs)

    6. JR

      That's from selling all that loads.

    7. TP

      Oh my God.

    8. JR

      It don't smell good.

    9. GU

      Don't last very long.

    10. TP

      Yeah. (laughs)

    11. GU

      Got to ... They-

    12. JR

      They get gross.

    13. GU

      ... got to dry up real quick.

    14. JR

      Yeah, they get gross.Do you know, uh-

    15. TP

      Oh, man. Oh, man.

    16. JR

      Yeah. So that spiritual thing, like the whole-

    17. TP

      But that's, but that's ... Yeah.

    18. JR

      Yeah. It's like, uh, the problem with it is you're still an animal, right? So if the animal-

    19. TP

      Yeah.

    20. JR

      It's like we were talking about before, where the wolves go on these surplus kills-

    21. TP

      Mm-hmm.

    22. JR

      ... and they kill all these elk and they don't eat 'em.

    23. TP

      Yeah.

    24. JR

      Like, in Wyoming, there was a recent issue, there was 18 elk that were killed by wolves in these surplus killings. It was a real tragedy.

    25. TP

      Yeah.

    26. JR

      I mean, these wolves can't help themselves. It's just their instincts. So his instincts as a man, he has instincts to procreate, right? He has instincts to respond to women that are sexually attracted to him. And he teaches these classes in front of hundreds and thousands of people, and everybody loves and adores him. So in his fucked up, twisted brain-

    27. TP

      Yeah.

    28. JR

      ... everything that he said there made sense.

    29. TP

      Yeah.

    30. JR

      My favorite part of it was that woman, Andrea, when she-

Episode duration: 3:17:16

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