Joe Rogan Experience #1217 - Nimesh Patel

1. 0:00 – 15:00

   Two, one. Fucking kids…

   1. JRJoe Rogan0:04

      Two, one. Fucking kids today.

   2. NPNimesh Patel0:09

      Fucking kids today.

   3. JRJoe Rogan0:10

      Fucking kids today.

   4. NPNimesh Patel0:12

      (laughs)

   5. JRJoe Rogan0:13

      Hasn't everybody said that from the beginning of time? I bet cave people were saying that shit.

   6. NPNimesh Patel0:16

      Uh-huh.

   7. JRJoe Rogan0:17

      You know?

   8. NPNimesh Patel0:17

      Arr.

   9. JRJoe Rogan0:18

      Arr, fucking kids.

   10. NPNimesh Patel0:20

       (laughs)

   11. JRJoe Rogan0:20

       It's just, it is what it is, right?

   12. NPNimesh Patel0:22

       Yeah.

   13. JRJoe Rogan0:22

       Every new group comes up, they try to reestablish themselves as smarter, you know?

   14. NPNimesh Patel0:31

       Yeah.

   15. JRJoe Rogan0:31

       There's the new group coming up, they're gonna change the rules.

   16. NPNimesh Patel0:34

       I don't know what's so wrong with how we turned out. You know what I mean? Like-

   17. JRJoe Rogan0:38

       Oh, we're a mess. (laughs)

   18. NPNimesh Patel0:40

       (laughs) I mean, uh, I'm saying, not from a, like, I mean, every, I think every generation is better than the next in terms of how, like, things are just... This is the best times have ever been for most people.

   19. JRJoe Rogan0:50

       Right.

   20. NPNimesh Patel0:51

       But I'm saying from, like, uh, uh, how we handled things perspective, things seem... I'm, like, a fine human being. You seem like a fine hum- like, most human beings are fine, and we were raised quite, I don't wanna say differently, but a little better in my perspective than, like, uh, what's happening now. Like, what, what is being corrected is, is strange to me.

   21. JRJoe Rogan1:11

       To people that don't know the story, let's fill them in on your story-

   22. NPNimesh Patel1:14

       Yeah, sure.

   23. JRJoe Rogan1:14

       ... and how we got together.

   24. NPNimesh Patel1:16

       Uh-huh.

   25. JRJoe Rogan1:16

       So you're doing a gig, you're at Columbia.

   26. NPNimesh Patel1:18

       Mm-hmm. So, a few months ago, uh, I got this group called the Asian American Alliance at Columbia University hit me up saying, "Hey, you know, we're big fans of your work." Um, I was the first Indian to ever write for SNL. Um, and so they were, like, that was a story in the Asian American/Indian community. And so they hit me up in, like, May or June, like, "Hey, come. We have this show in November. It's called Culture Shock." Um, it's a big, like, fashion culture kinda event. And I've done, like, tons of these before, you know? Like, 'cause my sister and I, we both went to NYU, but my sister, um, like, helped put on these kinds of shows. So I would attend them, and like I've seen them ever since high school, 'cause I went to high school in Parsippany, New Jersey, which is like a hyper-diverse kinda place. Um, at least with, like, Asians and Indian people. And, like, I went to a few in high school, and I got laid after one of them when I was in high school. So they have like a-

   27. JRJoe Rogan2:08

       Congratulations.

   28. NPNimesh Patel2:09

       (laughs) I lost my virginity after one of them, so like-

   29. JRJoe Rogan2:11

       Oh.

   30. NPNimesh Patel2:11

       It was like, they held a special place in my heart. And so, like, I went thinking, "Okay, this is gonna be fun." And, and they know who they're getting in that, you know, the email said, "We're fans of your work," like, "We want you to come do this show. It's about, like, representing Asian identities and all that." I'm like, "Dope." And that's... I get there at, like, 7:30, and I walk in, and I'm like, "Okay, I know all these kids." I mean, they're like 20 or something, but, like, I know them. I grew up with these kids, you know, like Abigails and Pratik's or whatever. Like, I know all these guys.
2. 15:00 – 30:00

   Mm-hmm. …

   1. NPNimesh Patel15:00

      to them because if they weren't there, I'd be on some other shit. And it... But as I'm checking my Instagram 'cause I'm like, "This is definitely gonna be a fucking story on Instagram at the very least."

   2. JVJamie Vernon15:10

      Mm-hmm.

   3. NPNimesh Patel15:11

      And, like, people are DMing me from the show, like, "Yo, we're so sorry that, that happened. That's so fucked up." Uh, people are emailing me the same shit. I'm like-

   4. JVJamie Vernon15:18

      Was anybody saying, "Fuck you, you shouldn't have been there in the first place?"

   5. NPNimesh Patel15:21

      No. No one said that to me at... One girl who was the suitemate of, uh, uh, uh, one of the organizers DMed me and just, like, yelled at me basically, and I just... I've ever... I wrote to her, "Thank you for your support." (laughs) Like, you know, just like that-

   6. JVJamie Vernon15:35

      What did she say?

   7. NPNimesh Patel15:36

      She said, uh, uh, "I'll be fine."

   8. JVJamie Vernon15:38

      Saved it? (laughs)

   9. NPNimesh Patel15:39

      I saved... Dude, my DMs just blew up. Uh-

   10. JVJamie Vernon15:42

       (laughs) Is this Twitter or Instagram?

   11. NPNimesh Patel15:43

       Instagram. And she, uh, I... Uh, my Instagram is not up. Like, I deleted it from my phone, but she was effectively-

   12. JVJamie Vernon15:49

       You deleted it from your phone?

   13. NPNimesh Patel15:50

       I delete... I check it in the morning and then I delete it, and then I check it at night and I delete it again.

   14. JVJamie Vernon15:54

       Really?

   15. NPNimesh Patel15:55

       I just fucking hate... So when I was at SNL, I worked on update, um, and so, like, I was constantly on my phone or on Twitter, on Instagram, just, like, checking news, reading shit.

   16. JVJamie Vernon16:04

       Mm-hmm.

   17. NPNimesh Patel16:05

       And, like, it fu... It annoyed the shit out of me. I hate the news. Lo and behold, I am the news now for a bit, but like, I fucking...

   18. JVJamie Vernon16:12

       (laughs)

   19. NPNimesh Patel16:12

       I hate the news. It's all bullshit. And, like, being in this cycle-

   20. JVJamie Vernon16:16

       Right.

   21. NPNimesh Patel16:16

       ... has confirmed my belief that it's all fucking nonsense. But she effectively says, um, uh, "I hope you learned your lesson of, um, uh, respecting what you were hired to do and respecting-"

   22. JVJamie Vernon16:28

       (laughs)

   23. NPNimesh Patel16:28

       "... strong young women, uh, and check your fucking ego."

   24. JVJamie Vernon16:31

       (laughs)

   25. NPNimesh Patel16:31

       And I was just like...

   26. JVJamie Vernon16:32

       (laughs)

   27. NPNimesh Patel16:34

       I was, I was like, I, I... It took all of me not to just be, like, just eviscerate 'cause I'm, like, I'm good with wo... I'm not good at a lot of things, but I can, I can eviscerate somebody in an Instagram DM. Um, and so I didn't, I didn't say shit to her besides, "Thank you for the support." And, but, um, and all these people are messaging me like, "Yo, we're so sorry that fucking happened," and, like, I'm like, "All right, I'm not totally fucked with all these kids." And then I go to this show at UCB East and, like, I'm taping the hou... an hour, so I can't even process, uh, what just happened 'cause my instinct is just talk about this immediately.

   28. JVJamie Vernon17:08

       Right.

   29. NPNimesh Patel17:09

       But I can't because I have to tape this hour. And so I get off stage, um, and the hour goes well. And, uh, as I'm leaving UCB East, three kids that were at the show at Columbia had come down from Columbia and followed me to UCB East, and they came up to me and apologized in person. They're like, "We're so sorry that happened," like, "we love your set," like, "we don't know what the fuck is going on." And that took me... That gave me, like, a beat to be like, all right, you know, like, maybe, maybe everyone isn't this way. May... It's just the people that have the fucking bullhorn that get to just say whatever the fuck they want and silence people that are, like, the minority, but they're like the, the vocal minority. Whereas, like, all these people that are, like, actually on my squad are not as vocal as they can be. They're more, like, quiet and apologize in person.

   30. JVJamie Vernon17:57

       (clears throat) Mm-hmm.
3. 30:00 – 45:00

   Oh, don't. …

   1. NPNimesh Patel30:00

      if I'm on stage somewhere, you just come on stage and rip the mic out of my hand. (laughs)

   2. JRJoe Rogan30:03

      Oh, don't.

   3. NPNimesh Patel30:04

      Piece of shit. (laughs)

   4. JRJoe Rogan30:06

      You fucked up. You just fucked up.

   5. NPNimesh Patel30:06

      Uh, don't do that, please.

   6. JRJoe Rogan30:07

      You definitely shouldn't have said that on this show.

   7. NPNimesh Patel30:10

      (laughs)

   8. JRJoe Rogan30:10

      Whoo, good luck.

   9. NPNimesh Patel30:11

      Oh, man.

   10. JRJoe Rogan30:11

       Good luck on the next six months.

   11. NPNimesh Patel30:13

       Oh, Christ.

   12. JRJoe Rogan30:13

       This is, uh, I, I really don't think this is a big deal. I just think this is, uh, uh ... Is, there's a reason why all these different comedians have been saying ... I, I heard John Mulaney said this recently, and I, I really love John Mulaney.

   13. NPNimesh Patel30:24

       Yeah.

   14. JRJoe Rogan30:24

       But I completely disagree with him. He said the reason why comedians don't do college is, is it has nothing to do with political correctness. It has to do with the money.That is not true.

   15. NPNimesh Patel30:32

       No.

   16. JRJoe Rogan30:32

       He says that because his act is really good and really clean.

   17. NPNimesh Patel30:36

       Right.

   18. JRJoe Rogan30:36

       You can essentially do his act anywhere.

   19. NPNimesh Patel30:38

       Yeah.

   20. JRJoe Rogan30:38

       It's an excellent act. I mean, and, but there's other guys like that, like Brian Regan. He's got an excellent act. He could do colleges anywhere.

   21. NPNimesh Patel30:45

       Gaffigan, yeah. Like any-

   22. JRJoe Rogan30:46

       Gaffigan, yeah, anywhere. They d- the reason why they don't do colleges is because the kids are too fucking sensitive.

   23. NPNimesh Patel30:52

       Mm-hmm.

   24. JRJoe Rogan30:52

       That's 100% the reason. Do you think that they don't make money at colleges? You don't understand how much colleges pay.

   25. NPNimesh Patel30:58

       (laughs)

   26. JRJoe Rogan30:58

       They pay a lot of money.

   27. NPNimesh Patel30:59

       It's not, to a lot of, I think to a lot of comics, it's just not worth the hassle.

   28. JRJoe Rogan31:03

       It's not worth it.

   29. NPNimesh Patel31:03

       You know, like if-

   30. JRJoe Rogan31:04

       Yeah.
4. 45:00 – 1:00:00

   "Oh, I'ma lose this.…

   1. JRJoe Rogan45:00

      There's a lot of people that will sabotage their life. They start getting some success, and then the, the, the p- panic overwhelms them, and they'll just start taking pills or go, go fucking crazy.

   2. NPNimesh Patel45:09

      "Oh, I'ma lose this. I'ma fuck it up anyw-"

   3. JRJoe Rogan45:11

      Yeah.

   4. NPNimesh Patel45:12

      Yeah. I know that mentality.

   5. JRJoe Rogan45:12

      It's really normal.

   6. NPNimesh Patel45:13

      Yeah.

   7. JRJoe Rogan45:14

      The, the psychological mind-fuck that goes on when you're attempting to do anything, whether it's stand-up comedy, or I guess it would probably be the same with almost any art form.

   8. NPNimesh Patel45:24

      Mm-hmm.

   9. JRJoe Rogan45:24

      You're c- where ... Especially open-ended art form, where you don't have a boss who's telling you, "Hey, you know, Nimesh, you gotta get this fucking project in at 3:00."

   10. NPNimesh Patel45:31

       Yeah.

   11. JRJoe Rogan45:32

       You know? Like, if ...

   12. NPNimesh Patel45:33

       That's the, that's the crazy thing, is like, w- you forget, like, or, like, what people don't know is that comedy's the most entrepreneurial endeavor there is. You fucking ... There are, there's, uh ... And that's why everyone thinks they could do it, because there's no capital investment to fucking ... It, it's all just mental investment and hard work, and th-

   13. JRJoe Rogan45:49

       Well, everybody thinks they can do it because they do most of it. See, most of it is just talking.

   14. NPNimesh Patel45:54

       Yeah.

   15. JRJoe Rogan45:55

       So, like, I could talk.

   16. NPNimesh Patel45:55

       I could talk.

   17. JRJoe Rogan45:56

       How come I can't talk like ... I've made people laugh.

   18. NPNimesh Patel45:58

       I'm funny.

   19. JRJoe Rogan45:59

       I can do it.

   20. NPNimesh Patel45:59

       I'm funny at the office.

   21. JRJoe Rogan46:00

       Dude, I'm funny all the time.

   22. NPNimesh Patel46:02

       (laughs)

   23. JRJoe Rogan46:02

       I'm gonna do stand-up. Like, how many people have you heard say, "I think I'm d- thinking about doing stand-up." And you're like, "Oh, God." (laughs)

   24. NPNimesh Patel46:08

       I'm, I'm, I'm like, "Good luck, man."

   25. JRJoe Rogan46:10

       (laughs)

   26. NPNimesh Patel46:10

       You know? 'Cause some people, I'm like, I know they have the work ethic to do whatever the fuck they ... If, like, if my friends were s- super successful in most other endeavors, like that they do, like finance or doctors or whatever, applied the same work ethic to comedy, they might be successful.

   27. JRJoe Rogan46:25

       Yeah.

   28. NPNimesh Patel46:25

       If, if they're funny. But a lot of people think they're funny and then just forget that fucking, the work part, where it's just like, "Yo, fuck. This is slave shit."

   29. JRJoe Rogan46:33

       Yeah. (laughs)

   30. NPNimesh Patel46:34

       "You fucking ..." And no one ... A- and there's no one whipping you. The only-
5. 1:00:00 – 1:03:43

   Uh-huh. …

   1. JRJoe Rogan1:00:00

      It was like it was dead.

   2. NPNimesh Patel1:00:01

      Uh-huh.

   3. JRJoe Rogan1:00:01

      It was like it was just fried. It took three days to get one. So for three days I had no phone. And it was great. It was great. I felt better. I felt better.

   4. NPNimesh Patel1:00:12

      Yeah.

   5. JRJoe Rogan1:00:12

      I was walking around, but then I was like, "Oh, I can't wait to get my phone."

   6. NPNimesh Patel1:00:15

      Yeah.

   7. JRJoe Rogan1:00:15

      But, but, but why? I, I feel good without it. Like why-

   8. NPNimesh Patel1:00:18

      Every, you're around people you love, the people you need-

   9. JRJoe Rogan1:00:21

      Yeah.

   10. NPNimesh Patel1:00:21

       ... to reach. Like, it's like-

   11. JRJoe Rogan1:00:22

       Yeah.

   12. NPNimesh Patel1:00:22

       ... what, what... You're not missing anything from the-

   13. JRJoe Rogan1:00:24

       You're not missing anything, but you feel like you are.

   14. NPNimesh Patel1:00:26

       Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've got-

   15. JRJoe Rogan1:00:27

       "I gotta check Twitter."

   16. NPNimesh Patel1:00:28

       It's like, yeah. Oh my God.

   17. JRJoe Rogan1:00:29

       Check Instagram.

   18. NANarrator1:00:29

       (laughs)

   19. NPNimesh Patel1:00:29

       Gotta go on Instagram. It's, we're addicted to it to a point where it's like, it feels like cigarettes in the '50s where it's like no one...

   20. JRJoe Rogan1:00:37

       Here it is. Marc Normand, "Social media is like looking in the fridge over and over. You know there's nothing good, but you check it so many times that eventually you start consuming things you don't even like."

   21. NPNimesh Patel1:00:45

       Yeah.

   22. JRJoe Rogan1:00:45

       Oh, even better.

   23. NPNimesh Patel1:00:46

       There we go. Start eating-

   24. JRJoe Rogan1:00:47

       Great, great tweet.

   25. NPNimesh Patel1:00:48

       ... leftover butter.

   26. JRJoe Rogan1:00:49

       2,630 likes, son.

   27. NPNimesh Patel1:00:52

       Mi- it's gonna go up a lot now.

   28. JRJoe Rogan1:00:54

       Yeah.

   29. NPNimesh Patel1:00:54

       (laughs)

   30. JRJoe Rogan1:00:54

       Probably. But, um, yeah, it's, uh, it's... And my real fear is that this is one stage of a complete connection to electronics and to each other that's, uh, unhealthy and unproductive and unavoidable because I don't think that we're gonna end with social media like Twitter and Instagram-

Episode duration: 1:55:05