Joe Rogan Experience #1219 - Bill Burr

Joe Rogan 0:00 Doo, doo, doo, doo. In four, three, two... Yes, Bill Burr!

Bill Burr 0:07 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 0:07 How are you, fella?

Bill Burr 0:08 What's going on?

Joe Rogan 0:09 Good to see you.

Bill Burr 0:09 Good to see you, too.

Joe Rogan 0:10 Thank you very much for taking me up on that flight. I'm gonna tell you what, n- legitimately-

Bill Burr 0:14 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 0:14 ... you changed the way I think about LA. I think-

Bill Burr 0:17 It's really small, isn't it?

Joe Rogan 0:18 It's way smaller than you think.

Bill Burr 0:20 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 0:20 It's a different thing. When you fly over it, you go, "Oh, this ain't that big."

Bill Burr 0:25 Yeah. That's here, this is there. 'Cause, what it is, I remember when, um, I was still getting my license and I was doing a night flight, right? Um, which is insane. Totally different ballgame.

Joe Rogan 0:35 Oh, I imagine.

Bill Burr 0:35 And, uh, yeah, 'cause when you're on the ground, you're like, "Wow, it'd be really easy to see everybody." 'Cause you're looking up and all you're seeing is the backdrop is, of the dark sky, right?

Joe Rogan 0:42 Right.

Bill Burr 0:43 But when you get up there, if someone's below you, they disappear into the city.

Joe Rogan 0:47 (sighs)

Bill Burr 0:47 So that's what... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So anyway, so we were flying back and I train down in Long Beach, so we were going along the 710 and I just see, like, all these, these lights. And it was, like, right there. I'm, like, going up, like it was... And I go, "What's that?" He goes... And the g- and the, uh, pilot looked over, he goes, "Oh, that's the, uh, that's the fireworks from Disneyland." And I was like, "Fucking Disneyland is right there?"

Joe Rogan 1:08 (laughs)

Bill Burr 1:08 'Cause in my head it took, like, two hours to get there, hour and a half-

Joe Rogan 1:12 Yeah.

Bill Burr 1:12 ... going down the 5, but it's just like... 'Cause you don't look at miles.

Joe Rogan 1:17 Right.

Bill Burr 1:17 All you do is look at time when you're out here because there's so much traffic, but it's literally like... Oh, that's, like-

Joe Rogan 1:22 40 miles.

Bill Burr 1:23 It's not even. It's like from Hollywood, like, I would think it, it can't even be more than 15, 20 miles away.

Joe Rogan 1:29 Yeah.

Bill Burr 1:29 Like Anaheim-

Joe Rogan 1:30 Anaheim.

Bill Burr 1:30 ... is so fucking close, but I just, it's just Ir- like, Irvine Comedy Club, that's all I think of. It's just fucking way the fuck down there. And then you, you get up in a helicopter and you're, like, there in, like, 11 minutes going like... This is, this is ridiculous. So, um, yeah, yeah. So that's what you-

Joe Rogan 1:47 It was awesome. Dude, it was awesome.

Bill Burr 1:49 Yeah, it was so-

Joe Rogan 1:49 Flying over Malibu when you landed on the top of that little hill there with the-

Bill Burr 1:53 Next.

Joe Rogan 1:53 ... picnic table?

Bill Burr 1:54 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:54 Dude.

Bill Burr 1:55 It was funny-

Joe Rogan 1:55 That was fucking cool.

Bill Burr 1:55 ... I set it down nice. I was a little nervous. I'm like-

Joe Rogan 1:57 You set it down smooth.

Bill Burr 1:57 ... "All right, don't s- don't fuck this up with Joe here 'cause he's gonna be like...

Joe Rogan 2:00 (laughs)

Bill Burr 2:00 "... 'Uh, Burr, you know, he was all right when he was flying."

Joe Rogan 2:02 (laughs)

Bill Burr 2:02 "When he went... When he... The big part, when he went to land, he wasn't that good, but, uh..."

Joe Rogan 2:06 That guy was smooth. And then the Apocalypse Now shit where we're going through the canyons. (singing)

Bill Burr 2:10 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 2:11 That was awesome, man.

Bill Burr 2:12 Yeah. Those are, um-

Joe Rogan 2:13 I get it. I get it.

Bill Burr 2:14 Those are fun. It's, it's a, uh, it's a lot of fun and, you know, I, I fly mostly with an instructor 'cause I got the kid and everything. But every once in a while you got to go up by yourself just so you know you can do it. But, um, I also, um... I'm actually overdue, overdue to do it, but I always go out and I do, like, the auto rotations and he'll just sorta chop... I'm flying along, he'll just chop throttle and like... It's just, it's just rolling the RPMs. I mean, rolling the engine down, not the RPMs. The engine down. And then you immediately have to pick a spot, you know. And sometimes, you know, the lower you are, you know, it becomes literally what you... The first place you look is where you're putting it. It's really crazy, but, um... Or where you would, where you would put it.

Joe Rogan 2:49 So w- can you explain to people what you're talking about? You mean crash landing, that's what auto rotation means?

Bill Burr 2:53 Yeah, it'd be basically if you had some sort of, uh-

Joe Rogan 2:56 Failure.

Bill Burr 2:56 ... problem, yeah, engine failure or whatever. So, like, when you're flying along and the engine's working, it's drawing air into the disc and that's what creates lift. But when, uh, when you go into an auto rotation, um, it's, it's the air rushing... You're using gravity, bringing the, uh, the helicopter down using that air, like, almost like a fan to keep it going.

Joe Rogan 3:17 Oh.

Bill Burr 3:17 So, and there's a critical point where if you let the main rotor go too slow, that's why the low RPM horn comes on, which is just a nauseating sound. Uh, if you let it go too low, the, w- if... It gets to a point where if it's spinning too slowly, no matter how fast you drop you can't get it going again-

Joe Rogan 3:35 Oh.

Bill Burr 3:35 ... fast enough to create... And you're basically at that point, you're in something that's no longer able to fly. So...

Joe Rogan 3:39 Your, uh, your instructor, Skyler, is that what his name?

Bill Burr 3:42 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 3:42 Skyler-

Bill Burr 3:43 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 3:43 ... uh, pointed out something that I didn't know, that they have to redo those things, like, every X amount of miles. They rebuild everything.

Bill Burr 3:50 Hours, yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 3:50 Yeah.

Bill Burr 3:51 It's, uh... Well, they have, like, there's all this maintenance along the way. They're incredibly maintained because I'm, I'm sure you noticed if you read the comments, all people talk about is dying in aviation. It's like-

Joe Rogan 4:01 Yeah.

Bill Burr 4:01 ... they're like, "Oh, that's how entertainers die." It's like, no it isn't, they overdose.

Joe Rogan 4:05 (laughs)

Bill Burr 4:05 If you really looked at the graph, they're on the ground completely safe-

Joe Rogan 4:10 (laughs)

Bill Burr 4:10 ... overdose, car accidents, just-

Joe Rogan 4:12 It's almost always overdose, right? Yeah.

Bill Burr 4:13 Drinking, yeah, and shit like that. And it's just like, that's mainly how you die.

Joe Rogan 4:18 Yeah.

Bill Burr 4:18 Like, the amount of people that are up there every day and the- nothing happens, it's, it's, you know... But there is the, you know... The, the fly in the ointment is that there's, there are, uh, particularly at the private level, there are knuckleheads out there. Like, there's people, like... I think every time I get in I'm always thinking like, "Am I gonna... You know, I don't wanna die today." So I, I, I go over all a- uh, a whole bunch of shit and, you know, especially if I'm gonna fly solo, I'm, I'm, I have the whole flight, I have all my options on, you know, where I could land, you know, if I had a problem. Like, that's what you're supposed to do. I look at weather reports, I do all of that shit. And what happens is guys get more and more confident and their pre-flight is they kind of look, "Uh, it looks pretty clear." And then they go out there and, uh, you know... There's, you know, there's, there's, there's people who go up knowing that they can die and then there's other people up there who just like Magnum P.I. and they want to fly by waterfalls and shit. I mean, those guys have more fun but, uh... (laughs)

Joe Rogan 5:19 (laughs)

Bill Burr 5:19 It's, you know... There's definitely, um... Those are the people that, you know... You're supposed to fly... There's, like, two envelopes. You're supposed to fly within the envelope of what you're flying and then, you know, your skill set so you don't fly into shit. There's like... You know, like, if the, if it's too windy or whatever, I'm just like, "I'm j- I'm not going."

Joe Rogan 5:36 Right.

Bill Burr 5:36 Even if I could handle it, it's like, I'm not gonna have fun up there fucking, you know, riding it out and just, you know, let the wind do what it wants to do and don't fight it and, you know, make sure, you know, you're not flying too fast. All you do is slow down, you know. Um, but, you know, it's, it's... There, there are elements of that. But, like, if you look up there versus what's going on down below, when you fly... I always say this, when you drive on the highway it's like you're flying in formation. You're in the Blue Angels-

Joe Rogan 6:01 Yeah.

Bill Burr 6:02 ... with a bun- with nobody talking to anybody. You have no idea what anybody's gonna do. People are texting, they're on medication, they're fucking-

Joe Rogan 6:09 Yeah.

Bill Burr 6:09 ... hungover, they're suicidal, they don't know what the fuck they're doing, you know? And then on top of that, you gotta look out for the guys splitting lanes on the motorcycles and shit. Um...

Joe Rogan 6:16 It's pretty amazing how few accidents there actually are-

Bill Burr 6:19 It is.

Joe Rogan 6:20 ... if you think about it.

Bill Burr 6:20 It is. And when I fly the Robinson, they get a bad rap saying they're not safe 'cause they look at the amount of crashes...... that they've had, but it, it's be- because it's a helicopter you can afford, so it's inherently a low-hour-

Joe Rogan 6:32 Oh.

Bill Burr 6:32 ... pilot. And if you look at it, it's most of the time, it's not, it's not the, the helicopter, it's the, it's the person flying it, um, which is why you really have to be on it. Like you, you, you can't, um... It's, it's just not something, uh, um... Uh, I don't know how to explain it. It's this weird thing where y- your, your level of enjoyment is way higher if you're, if you're riding in it. You know what I mean?

Joe Rogan 6:57 Ah.

Bill Burr 6:57 If you're the person flying, the whole time you have your life and other people's lives at hand, so that you're not really like, "Oh, look at that. Oh, look at that. Oh, look at that." Like, I'm also like, you know, thinking things of like, you know, when we were flying through that canyon and you... (singing) Thinking that shit. Um, looking, you know, knowing where the wires are and where the road is, you know, 'cause that's all fucking trees, so it's gonna be the road. So there's those... You know, when you're kinda going around a bend, you know, it, there's certain, like, altitudes and stuff, just... It's, it's boring, but it's just stuff that you're, you're always thinking that. Um, you know, I imagine like when you fight there's that, you know... I know a lot of it's like instinct and stuff, but there's these things that you just don't do-

Joe Rogan 7:36 Yeah.

Bill Burr 7:36 ... you know what I mean? I don't know anything about fighting, but I was hurt in boxing, you don't lead with an uppercut. There's just, there's just fucking things-

Joe Rogan 7:41 Mm-hmm.

Bill Burr 7:41 ... you don't do. You see a lot of guys, like when they go to take off, they do this fucking thing, like the nose-down attitude.

Joe Rogan 7:46 Oh. Yeah.

Bill Burr 7:46 Like, I was taught not to do that 'cause it-

Joe Rogan 7:47 Why do they do that? 'Cause it looks cool?

Bill Burr 7:50 I, I don't know why they do it. I mean, you're supposed to... Like, I was taught you're supposed to k- keep it level, so that way if you have a problem, you know, you, you're already in the right attitude to just immediately en- enter an auto. Like, now if I'm, if I'm fucking nose-down and if I'm too far to the ground, I'm just gonna fucking go right into the ground. Um, I don't know. But I mean, I, I, I'm still, like, totally a novice. I'm, I'm coming up on 200 hours, so I don't know a lot, but I'm super, super, super, super fucking cautious and, uh, I, I make sure I don't go too long without doing auto rotations. I used to hate them, and now I actually really like them. Um, it was sort of the way it was explained to me, I didn't get it until one day I just thought about it and then I got it, and I was able to lock into it. 'Cause it's b- it's the same inputs if you were going in for a landing.

Joe Rogan 8:36 Mm-hmm.

Bill Burr 8:37 But they broke it down to, like, four steps. Like, it was low RPM, you know, lower collective, gentle half cyclic, you know. Uh, look at your trim strings, you know? Air sp- what was it? Trim st- trim, air speed, RPMs, and just fucking doing all of this. And the reality is, is just like, it's the, uh, oh, right pedal. Jesus Christ, I forgot that, right pedal. So it's all the same-

Joe Rogan 8:58 (laughs)

Bill Burr 8:58 ... it's all the same input if you were going in for a landing. So all I do anytime I hear the low RPM is I just do that, and then I'm locked into it, and then I'm just watching my... Then I can just watch my RPMs. And at this point, I've flown enough where I, I kinda know where I'm, I'm in trim, which basically means you're not like crabbing and you're kinda going straight, and then you can kinda like pick out your spot. And then it becomes fun is, what's cool is you can do like 180 autos, you can turn around. And what I do like about it is when you come down to the ground is you can bleed off all of your air speed, that forward motion that's gonna fucking kill you. And as long as you don't fuck up and flare and go back up and then drop like a, you know, you know... It's kinda like a hockey stop is the way it was described to me. You just level it out and right as you go to drop, you pull like that. And these guys land them like daisies and stuff. It's, it's really amazing. I'm not as good as that, but like I- I will do it where, you know, worst case scenario, you know, I might be like, "Ah, fuck." Like... (laughs)

Joe Rogan 9:50 Get a little bit of a bump?

Bill Burr 9:51 Yeah, but I'm gonna be all right. So, um, yeah, I don't know. Now there's probably a bunch of people saying I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about, which admittedly, you know, I still think I, there's a lot of shit I need to learn about standup. So, as long as you go into things like that, um, you know...

Joe Rogan 10:06 Well, the, the fact that you're doing it and the fact that you're learning a new thing that's really difficult to learn, don't you think that that's good for your brain?

Bill Burr 10:14 No, I am a big believer in constantly learning. It's why I like you as a person, 'cause you're constantly... Like, you're not the Joe I knew three years ago in a good way. You're like, you, you learn all of this. You know, when I first met you, you weren't hunting, uh, you weren't a marsh-... That was the thing. You, you, you were two-dimensional, you were m-... Which was amazing 'cause everyone was just a comedian. You were this Taekwondo champion, uh, standup guy. And then, and then since then, you've added all... Like, the guests that you have on and the fact that you're able to, like, talk to them and stuff is... Because you've continued to, you know, um... You know, it's, it's the same thing with like, like a comic who writes his first hour and then just sits on it for like eight years.

Joe Rogan 10:55 Yeah.

Bill Burr 10:56 And all of a sudden, two presidents goes by and it's like, "Why aren't they laughing anymore?" It's like, 'cause you're just stuck in time. So, um, I, I, I... Yeah, I believe in that and I also believe in, in playing cards. Card games and stuff is good for your mind.

Joe Rogan 11:08 Oh, yeah. Any games. They say even-

Bill Burr 11:09 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 11:09 ... video games. You know, people like to shit on video games, but they say video games have a positive cognitive effect on kids.

Bill Burr 11:16 Yeah, they s-

Joe Rogan 11:16 'Cause you're calculating and moving, you're thinking fast.

Bill Burr 11:19 Yeah, their hand-eye coordination is like insane-

Joe Rogan 11:20 Yeah.

Bill Burr 11:21 ... I guess, if you, some of those games.

Joe Rogan 11:22 Oh, yeah.

Bill Burr 11:22 If, if, if you play them, I guess. I don't know.

Joe Rogan 11:24 Well, the... You think about the amount of hours they're putting into their thumbs.

Bill Burr 11:28 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 11:28 Just how often do you really use your thumb in like detailed ways? Very rarely.

Bill Burr 11:32 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 11:32 But kids today, they have ridiculous thumb dexterity.

Bill Burr 11:36 I, I tapped out, uh, Grand Theft Auto III, is when I stopped, which was about 2003, 2002 or something. I just... They, they were just too amazing, and I was just like, "I am nowhere in my career right now and this is just..."

Joe Rogan 11:50 (laughs)

Bill Burr 11:50 Dude, I was walking around. I was living in New York at the time and I would stop playing the game, and I would be walking down the street thinking about it. Like what I could... I'd walk into the subway, you know, like not thinking about jokes, thinking how I could beat this next level. And I remember I, I played this, um, Medal of Honor game. And, uh, they had this thing when you hit the sniper button, like the scope would go like that and X would go like that. And I, and I, I played it one day, uh, one week so much that when I walked out on the street, I was looking at people across the street doing like that, that X thing. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 12:19 (laughs)

Bill Burr 12:19 It was coming my face, I was just like... There's something about like... I already, uh... I'm not the brightest guy, you know, when it comes to like school and shit. So it's just like, I was like, "This is doing something to my brain." So I, I kinda, I... I remember I came home and I just unplugged everything.... but really quickly and took everything off, 'cause I knew I was never gonna figure it out and I didn't have any instructions anymore.

Joe Rogan 12:38 (laughs)

Bill Burr 12:38 And I just stuck it in the back of the closet. Like, "Well, that's it."

Joe Rogan 12:43 I did the same thing with, uh, video games, with Quake. I, I had a real problem when I was playing eight hours a day, 10 hours a day sometimes.

Bill Burr 12:50 Ugh.

Joe Rogan 12:50 I had a T1 line installed in my house just so I could play with, uh, a fast internet connection. This is like 1998.

Bill Burr 12:57 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 12:57 It was crazy. I mean, there was slow internet where I was, so I said, "Well, what's the options?" And so one option is they chew up the street and put this fucking crazy fat business line, cost me a shitload of money. And I was like, "Let's do it." (laughs) So I had installed-

Bill Burr 13:11 Wow.

Joe Rogan 13:11 ... a fucking business line that we'd use, at the time you'd use for a large building.

Bill Burr 13:15 Right.

Joe Rogan 13:15 And I had it just for my, my house. And, uh, I would play video games online all the time. And I re-

Bill Burr 13:21 You could play online against people for the last 20 years?

Joe Rogan 13:24 Oh, yeah.

Bill Burr 13:25 I didn't know that.

Joe Rogan 13:25 We, we'd play online teams. We'd have teams of guys, like, like me and three of my friends would play against, uh, four other guys. And we'd like meet at a certain server, and you know, you, you could chat and talk to each other.

Bill Burr 13:37 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 13:37 "All right, you ready to go? All right, let's go in three, two, one, go." And then, you know, we'd, the game will start and, and then we'd, we'd fucking have these matches. And it was fun, man. It was really fun. It was really exciting too, because it's all happening in real time.

Bill Burr 13:49 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 13:49 But, uh, I reached a point, uh, somewhere around like the year 2000, where I, I know one day I played until it was sunlight, until the, the sun came up. And you know, I'm, I'm fucking 30 years old.

Bill Burr 14:02 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 14:02 And I'm sitting there, my hands are sweating. (breathes heavily) I'm all fucking caffeinated up, I've been drinking-

Bill Burr 14:08 Oh.

Joe Rogan 14:08 ... Mountain Dew for the past eight hours. And I realized, I'm like, "What am I doing?" Like-

Bill Burr 14:12 Yes.

Joe Rogan 14:12 ... this is, I, you know, I'm not where I want to be as a comic. I'm not where, where I want to be with my life. And, uh, I'm just sitting here playing video games all the time, and there's no future in this.

Bill Burr 14:22 No.

Joe Rogan 14:22 This, I've been stuck in things where there's no future before. I know what that is. I felt like that with fighting. I was re- I was, when I was 21, there was a point in time where I was like, "There's no future in this." Like, I'm just gonna keep getting hit in the head and I'm gonna-

Bill Burr 14:35 Damn.

Joe Rogan 14:35 ... get dumber and more brain damage and more crazy.

Bill Burr 14:38 Right.

Joe Rogan 14:38 I'm like, "This is dangerous." And I, I n- I realized, I'm like, "I gotta stop. I gotta stop. There's no future in this."

Bill Burr 14:43 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 14:43 There was no money in fighting back then either. And then I got there with pool, same thing with pool. Like, my manager called me up and he said, "I think you play pool too much." He's like, "I think-" (laughs)

Bill Burr 14:54 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 14:55 He's like, he's like, "I think that you seriously think about pool more than you do your career." And, uh, I respect him and he's a very good friend of mine, so I had to really, really pa- I didn't, you know, I didn't take it lightly. I had to take a deep breath and I was like, "Fuck, he's right."

Bill Burr 15:09 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 15:09 "He's right." I played pool all the time. Was playing every day. I have a-

Bill Burr 15:12 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 15:12 ... I have a real addictive personality.

Bill Burr 15:14 I do too. I do too. So I get like, uh, like how many hours I wanna get flying and then like, uh, things I wanna learn playing drums and stuff. And then it becomes... I, I've had to learn to be like, "Bill, these are hobbies."

Joe Rogan 15:27 Yes. Yes.

Bill Burr 15:27 "Okay, you're a dad first, then you're a comedian."

Joe Rogan 15:30 Yep.

Bill Burr 15:30 "Let's sort of prioritize." Like, the world isn't waiting for you to know how to play Good Times Bad Times.

Joe Rogan 15:36 Yeah.

Bill Burr 15:37 That can s- sit back a little bit.

Joe Rogan 15:39 But the fact that you're doing that kind of stuff I think is great. I loved... I've, I really identify with you in a lot of ways.

Bill Burr 15:45 Right.

Joe Rogan 15:45 The way you do that, the way you get fucking crazy about drums or you're crazy about helicopters.

Bill Burr 15:49 Cooking.

Joe Rogan 15:49 Yeah. Yeah.

Bill Burr 15:50 Everything. I just fucking, I just, I go down like, I gotta learn all about like-

Joe Rogan 15:54 Yeah.

Bill Burr 15:55 ... uh, everything. I came out here, I got into old cars and then all of a sudden I was watching this guy, Eric the Car Guy. I found him most fascinating because he would work on like, cars of today, where you just open the hood, it's like, what is everything and where the f- how do you get it? And he's just taking off all this plastic shit and just digging all the way down. And he's just like, "You know, if you can't remember, just videotape it. Just remember how it all goes together." Dude, one time he... I forget what the hell he was changing, but he had to take the whole fucking front end of this car off to change something that I used to be able to change on like, my fucking '83 Ford Ranger.

Joe Rogan 16:28 I know that guy. I know who you're talking about. Yeah. Yeah.

Bill Burr 16:31 Yeah. And it's, and it's am- like, he does every... Electrical?

Joe Rogan 16:33 Yeah.

Bill Burr 16:34 He does fucking everything. And I would just sit there, I watched all of that. I watched all the way back to people rebuilding like Flathead V8s and what made it a Flathead. And, um, I never got into electrical, that always seemed like magic to me. Like I, I never-

Joe Rogan 16:47 (laughs)

Bill Burr 16:48 ... got into that shit and I was scared like, "Oh, you touch it and you get fucking electrocuted." But, um, I got all into like, watching like, like somebody rebuild an engine. Like just from the bottom to the top it, there just wasn't a lot of stuff.

Joe Rogan 17:02 Right.

Bill Burr 17:02 It was like the crankshaft, and then there was the shit that held on the pistons. You put the, drop the pistons in and the, the, the, and then there was the intake, uh, what was it? The, uh, intake manifold. And then th- that was the, um, uh, the big thing, the valves. See, gapping the valves, that seemed like, "Oh man, if you fuck that up, this thing isn't gonna run right." And, um, and just knowing the, the firing thing. And I got into like torque wrenches and I learned how to change brakes on like a, uh, like old school, like shoe breaks and stuff like that. I got all the right wrenches and all that. Um, I don't know how to adjust them. I know where you do, there's this little slit in the back of the wheel and I thought you just put them close to it. You're sup- it's right up against the drum you're supposed to put them on. And I got totally into fucking brakes for a while.

Joe Rogan 17:44 (laughs)

Bill Burr 17:45 I tried to rebuild a carburetor, failed miserably 'cause it was really old and I took off too many parts and it was like warped and shit, so.

Joe Rogan 17:51 Was that your Dodge, the truck?

Bill Burr 17:52 No, Ford.

Joe Rogan 17:53 It's a Ford.

Bill Burr 17:53 I got a Ford. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 17:54 That brown one's a Ford?

Bill Burr 17:55 Uh, black.

Joe Rogan 17:56 It's black?

Bill Burr 17:56 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 17:56 Why'd I think it was brown?

Bill Burr 17:58 I don't know.

Joe Rogan 17:59 What year is that? Like 60...

Bill Burr 18:00 '68.

Joe Rogan 18:01 Ugh.

Bill Burr 18:01 It was, uh, made... I looked up the VIN number. It was actually made in, uh, Canada. Crazy.

Joe Rogan 18:07 Really?

Bill Burr 18:07 In March of '68. I wanna say Toronto or something like that. Like they had, I guess they had a, uh, a factory up there or whatever. So in March of 1968 that thing rolled off and I think it spent most of its life down south, like in Georgia and stuff like that.

Joe Rogan 18:18 Did you swap the brakes out for disc brakes?

Bill Burr 18:21 I did, uh, I, Chris Titus was the one who helped me with that.

Joe Rogan 18:26 Ah.

Bill Burr 18:26 He, he put, uh, I did one side, he did the other, he did the other, but he showed me. I was just doing what he told me to do. So I had all drum brakes and I wanted to keep it all original.... but, you know, people were pulling out in front of me like I had disc brakes.

Joe Rogan 18:41 (laughs)

Bill Burr 18:41 And I'll tell you, it was fucking hilarious. When I only had drum brakes, I locked them up one time in front of a bunch of millennials, and they've never heard that sound, that (imitates disc brakes) , like, fucking, and they all (imitates body thudding) , they all went like that. And all I was doing, I just, you know, the light turned. You know how fast the yellow lights are out here?

Joe Rogan 18:58 Mm-hmm.

Bill Burr 18:58 I was kind of an East Coast mindset, like, "I can make this. No, I can't." And I just fucking-

Joe Rogan 19:02 (laughs)

Bill Burr 19:02 ... I didn't even think I hit them that hard. I kind of went a little sideways, and then it was fucking hilarious. It was, like, this outdoor café, and they all looked over, and then I just had to fucking sit there.

Joe Rogan 19:11 (laughs)

Bill Burr 19:12 It was almost like that Artie Lange movie when he fucking mooned. He moons the crowd and the guy gets out and just leaves him there. He's like, "Oh, he was, he was supposed to keep going." Like, that's what I felt-

Joe Rogan 19:20 (laughs)

Bill Burr 19:20 ... like, I was, I was, like, actually embarrassed. I probably waved and said sorry.

Joe Rogan 19:24 Those brakes were terrible. It's amazing nobody died, or more people didn't die, rather. Those brakes-

Bill Burr 19:29 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 19:29 ... I used to have a 1970 Barracuda that had those kind of brakes.

Bill Burr 19:33 Oh, yeah, no.

Joe Rogan 19:34 Just still... Well, it was a '71 when I was in high school. And you'd, you'd hit the brakes and it would just skid. I mean, there was... Everything locked up.

Bill Burr 19:43 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 19:43 Anti-lock brakes, one of the greatest inventions ever.

Bill Burr 19:45 Yes.

Joe Rogan 19:46 Fucking incredible invention.

Bill Burr 19:47 Yeah. No, I used to drive my truck, uh, before I had power steering, I got, put power steering in it and air conditioning, um, it was just, it was just a, basically a farm truck. And it was, like, no power steering, three on the column, which I still have because I think that's cool. And I used t-... I, I got stuck in the teeth of the, uh, f-... one night, like, the fucking, uh, you know, traffic, I always say I got stuck, uh, I'm driving through the teeth of it. And it'd, it'd be, like, between 5:00 and 7:00. And I was coming from Santa Monica-

Joe Rogan 20:13 Mm-hmm.

Bill Burr 20:13 ... driving over to the fucking Laugh Factory. And I literally, by the time I got to the Laugh Factory, I was, like, tired. Man, I know I'm an older guy, but just, like, shifting and, like, you know, like, when you're-

Joe Rogan 20:23 Yeah.

Bill Burr 20:23 ... when you're at a dead stop and you're just turning the fucking weight of that, and there's this giant steering wheel to give you, like, leverage, that's why the fucking thing is so big. And I was just like, "Oh my God." Like, I, you know, doing a three-point turn in that, like, my triceps would be burning. Not in the best shape, but I'm just saying-

Joe Rogan 20:39 (laughs)

Bill Burr 20:39 ... it's like, I gotta make my life a little easier here.

Joe Rogan 20:41 Well, even my little car, that little red car that I have, that doesn't have any power steering. And when I, when I turned that thing, that car is so light and tiny, it's fucking hard to turn, though.

Bill Burr 20:50 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 20:50 Like, when I have to pull into the parking lot of the Comedy Store and I have to back it up so that I can get out of there quick-

Bill Burr 20:55 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 20:55 ... it's a pain in the dick. It's hard.

Bill Burr 20:57 Yeah. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 20:57 Three-point turns are not three-point turns. They're, like, four or five points.

Bill Burr 21:00 Yeah. I wonder if back in the day, 'cause those, those original cars, they had those little skinny bike tires on it, it was just-

Joe Rogan 21:06 It's way easier to turn.

Bill Burr 21:06 ... it was just easier to turn.

Joe Rogan 21:07 Yeah.

Bill Burr 21:07 And then as, as they got, like, heavier and, and wider.

Joe Rogan 21:11 Well, you know, my Corvette has that, uh, modern suspension on it, the '65 Corvette-

Bill Burr 21:15 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 21:15 ... and it has really wide tires, like, the big old steamrollers. And just for a goof, I had the, uh, power steering taken off. I'm like, "Let's see what it's like to have the power steering." It was fucking horrible.

Bill Burr 21:24 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 21:24 It was horrible. Like, you (clears throat) , you'd get a forearm workout just driving around town.

Bill Burr 21:28 Driving down the street, yeah, yeah, you're bouncing around.

Joe Rogan 21:30 It was too much.

Bill Burr 21:30 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 21:30 I had to change it back.

Bill Burr 21:31 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 21:34 Yeah. I love old cars, though. There's something about the idea that you could fix it. You could go in there and with a good book or a good video, you can actually fix it. You know, I know-

Bill Burr 21:43 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 21:43 ... a lot of guys who have fixed things. I know guys who have changed their transmission. They've gone in there and swapped their transmission out for a new one, you know, put it up on a lift, the whole deal.

Bill Burr 21:49 It's, it's just having the balls to take it apart, and then the patience, like-

Joe Rogan 21:55 Yeah.

Bill Burr 21:55 ... I don't... You gotta ask for help and, like... I just found, like, it was just like, and like, "Oh, I need what tool? I don't have that-"

Joe Rogan 22:01 Yeah.

Bill Burr 22:01 "... fucking tool." Then you have to order it. It was really, uh, frustrating and, um, that was a, a quick sort of, like, rabbit hole I went down. So I, like, now that I kind of understand how the whole thing comes together, um, but, like, yeah, I guess that gets back to the whole, uh, going down the rabbit hole thing.

Joe Rogan 22:18 There's a guy who's got a great video that you would love. And, uh, it's on, uh, Petrolicious and it's, uh, the video is called, uh, I think it's called A C-... One Car for Everything. And there's this guy (clears throat) , he's a fiction writer.

Bill Burr 22:33 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 22:34 Writes, like, screenplays and shit. Never worked on a car in his life. Decided he wanted to buy an old Porsche. So he bought, like, a 1971 Porsche and didn't know jack shit about cars. So he starts learning. One car to do it all, that's it. (coughs) So this guy puts together this car and then starts working on it, and then takes his fucking garage and turns his garage into, like, a professional workspace. Digs a hole in the ground, puts a lift in, in the floor of his garage. Like, lays cement, does everything.

Bill Burr 23:07 Is this guy married?

Joe Rogan 23:08 Uh, I don't know.

Bill Burr 23:09 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 23:09 It doesn't seem like it, right?

Bill Burr 23:10 Yeah, it doesn't seem like this is... (laughs)

Joe Rogan 23:14 (laughs) But he's got this-

Bill Burr 23:14 "What are you gonna do with that old car?"

Joe Rogan 23:16 This is the car. It's a beautiful car. Look at that thing. I love those old... And that's... You know, my little car is-

Bill Burr 23:21 That's a '71?

Joe Rogan 23:22 Yeah.

Bill Burr 23:22 That looks like a 19-... late '70s to me.

Joe Rogan 23:25 No, it's a flat no-... uh, a flat hood, the, uh, the long hood, rather. The long hood models are like '68, '67, '68, to, like, '73. That's his name, Jack Olsen. It's a really fucking cool video because this is a guy that didn't have any background in it. That's his fucking garage. He built all this. He built the whole garage and he just decided, "Look, I'll just slowly get into it and understand it." And, uh, he has different aero, like, see that giant wing? That's aero that he puts on only when he's at the racetrack, so he can unbolt it and do it. He uses this car for everything. He uses this car to go get groceries, he drives around in it.

Bill Burr 23:59 Oh, yeah, look at the back end of it. Yeah, that's, that's... that looks like-

Joe Rogan 24:02 Yeah.

Bill Burr 24:02 Okay. Sorry.

Joe Rogan 24:03 It's a fucking beautiful old car. Those cars are so light too. That car is, like, 2,000, 2,400 pounds.

Bill Burr 24:08 Did, did he flare out the fenders though, right?

Joe Rogan 24:10 (clears throat) No, no, the, um, uh, RSR, um, from that era had, uh, flared out fenders.

Bill Burr 24:16 Came like that?

Joe Rogan 24:18 Yeah. Yeah, well, they had to have fat rear fenders and fat rear tires because the engine's in the back, and those things snap around when you're taking turns, because the balance is way off. Like, the engine is hanging out behind the rear wheels. It's not a mid-engine car, it's a rear-engine car, which is extremely rare.

Bill Burr 24:35 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 24:35 Like, only Porsche really does it. And so you get something called lift throttle oversteer. When you're in a turn-

Bill Burr 24:41 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 24:41 ... you have to keep the, the pedal on. You have to keep the gas going when you're in a turn. If you let off the turn-

Bill Burr 24:47 ... the rear end.

Joe Rogan 24:47 The momentum-

Bill Burr 24:48 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 24:48 ... the rear end just pops out and you, you get oversteer. You'll spin around in a circle. So they used to call the turbos-

Bill Burr 24:54 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 24:54 ... widow makers because the way they used to have those old cars, they used to have those really shitty tires. Like that, like he's got new, modern compound tires on that thing, so it probably sticks like glue, but the old tires were dog shit. They were terrible.

Bill Burr 25:09 Right.

Joe Rogan 25:09 So you'd have this super powerful engine, the weird dynamics where the engine's hanging out behind the axle and then-

Bill Burr 25:15 I never thought about that.

Joe Rogan 25:17 Yeah. Oh, they're so much fun to drive. They're so much fun to drive. It's so engaging. I love taking it to the store because by the time I get to the store, like, my brain's firing. It's like popping because I've been shifting and ... (imitates engine revving)

Bill Burr 25:28 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 25:28 It's all mechanical. It's air cooled.

Bill Burr 25:30 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 25:30 You know, and it's not a very f- like that red car is not a very fast car.

Bill Burr 25:33 Right.

Joe Rogan 25:33 You can ... Like a modern car, like a Tesla is way faster than it. It's, but it's, what it is is alive. It's like-

Bill Burr 25:39 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 25:40 Like you feel the gears (imitates gears shifting) like when you're shifting.

Bill Burr 25:43 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 25:43 You put that sucker into second (imitates engine revving)

Bill Burr 25:46 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 25:47 It's, it's just very, uh, it's visceral. You know?

Bill Burr 25:50 Yeah. I drove a buddy's Tesla one time. That was fucking ridiculous.

Joe Rogan 25:54 It's so stupid fast.

Bill Burr 25:54 I just stepped on it and I was ... Yeah, no, my head was tingling like I said.

Joe Rogan 25:57 (laughs)

Bill Burr 25:58 Blood rushing to the back. And he just had the one motor. And every guy I know that has, uh, Teslas, a hand- a handful I should say, uh, they all got invited to the factory when they, they got the motor on the front wheel and the back wheel.

Joe Rogan 26:10 Mm-hmm.

Bill Burr 26:10 And all of them said no to that car going, "Dude, I would fucking die if I got that." It, it was like, almost like super bike motorcycle fast.

Joe Rogan 26:17 Yeah.

Bill Burr 26:18 Like a, like a, like a racing motorcycle level fast.

Joe Rogan 26:21 It's zero to 60 in like two point something seconds, and then they have that new one, that Roadster that's coming out, that's one point something seconds. One point something seconds, zero to 60.

Bill Burr 26:33 Yeah, you're, you're in a missile.

Joe Rogan 26:35 (laughs)

Bill Burr 26:36 I mean, it's the only way to put it. Like God forbid-

Joe Rogan 26:38 It's crazy.

Bill Burr 26:38 ... somebody's foot slips off the brake onto the gas-

Joe Rogan 26:41 Yeah.

Bill Burr 26:42 ... you're gonna obliterate a street full of people. Man, it's fucking crazy.

Joe Rogan 26:45 It is crazy.

Bill Burr 26:45 It's bad enough somebody does that on a bike, you can do that on a car with all that weight. And those Teslas are heavy as shit 'cause of that battery I guess, which I didn't real- I think, I would think 'cause there was no power train or anything-

Joe Rogan 26:54 Yeah.

Bill Burr 26:54 ... that it would be lighter, but I guess that battery's like super heavy. Or-

Joe Rogan 26:57 They're heavy as shit and they don't make any noise.

Bill Burr 26:59 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 26:59 Which is even weirder. So they're coming at you, you don't even know.

Bill Burr 27:02 Yeah. They're kind of awesome. The ... I don't, I don't, you know what it's ... I don't like the front end. There's no grill. Like the front end's boring.

Joe Rogan 27:07 No. It is kind of boring.

Bill Burr 27:08 Kind of boring looking.

Joe Rogan 27:09 Yeah.

Bill Burr 27:09 Yeah, it's like a-

Joe Rogan 27:10 But the new one isn't, the Roadster. Have you seen the Roadster?

Bill Burr 27:12 Oh, that's cool. No, I wanna see that.

Joe Rogan 27:13 Pull up that, did you see the Roadster?

Bill Burr 27:14 Oh. Hey, can I promote the-

Joe Rogan 27:15 Pull up that Roadster.

Bill Burr 27:15 Can I pro- promote the Patrice thing?

Joe Rogan 27:17 Yeah. Fuck yeah.

Bill Burr 27:18 Uh, what, what do we got? It's, uh, February 19th, uh, the, uh, what would this be?

Joe Rogan 27:22 Look at this.

Bill Burr 27:22 The eighth annual-

Joe Rogan 27:23 Tesla's new emissions testing mode will produce loud, nasty farts on demand. It makes farts? They added a fart app this week. Oh, that's so ridiculous. It's got seven different farts, or six different fart sounds and then one automatic. You can, you can set it to like different buttons, like your turn signal and ... So it makes sounds? Oh shit. And then it makes smell too? No smell. It's not, it's, uh, just a sound emission. Oh, okay. Okay. That's just stupid.

Bill Burr 27:47 Anyways, the Patrice O'Neal (laughs) car that farts.

Joe Rogan 27:50 When is, uh, the benefit?

Bill Burr 27:51 February 19th at the New York City Center and, uh ... What do we got here? I shut off my damn phone. We got, um-

Joe Rogan 27:57 Michelle Wolf.

Bill Burr 27:58 Michelle Wolf, Jim Gaffigan, uh ...

Joe Rogan 28:02 I'll take that. I got it here.

Bill Burr 28:03 Ah, no, I already forget.

Joe Rogan 28:04 Um, you said-

Bill Burr 28:05 Ciphersounds, myself, Rich Vos. It's all coming back here. Big J.

Joe Rogan 28:10 Big J. Big J Oakerson, Gary Gulman, Chris Redd, uh, that's a fucking hell of a line-up.

Bill Burr 28:15 From SNL. Yes, sir.

Joe Rogan 28:15 Hell of a line-up.

Bill Burr 28:16 Yes, sir.

Joe Rogan 28:16 Beautiful.

Bill Burr 28:17 We're gonna, we're gonna try to add a couple more people to it. It's at the New York City Center Tuesday, February 19th. Uh, all proceeds go to his family and, uh, it's been such a great thing. Like his, um, you know, his mom's been able to get a condo and everything. Just total- 'Cause he was take- we, we basically with that thing, we take care of everybody that he was taking care of 'cause, you know, we, you know ... The mission was basically all his family should have to deal with is the grief.

Joe Rogan 28:39 Right.

Bill Burr 28:40 You know, I thi- I always think that that's enough and, and the reason why we continue to do it every year is because his family members are still, you know, alive. And I always hated that when somebody died and it's just like, "Hey, we do one time."

Joe Rogan 28:50 Right, right, right.

Bill Burr 28:50 "Here's a sack of money, try to make this last for the next 30 to 60 years of your lives." You know? And, uh, and then also because, you know, he was the best standup that I ever saw live and, uh, just keeping his name, you know? Like th- I always think that when anytime somebody says, "Oh, you're one of the top bla- bla- bla- bla- bla- bla," and I always think, well, you know, if Patrice and Hedberg and all of these fucking guys ... Dude, Freddy Soto, what he would have done. Um, yeah.

Joe Rogan 29:14 Yeah. I was just thinking about Freddy. I was just thinking about that when you said that, that maybe we should do one of those for Freddy's family.

Bill Burr 29:19 Yeah, Freddy was like, uh ...

Joe Rogan 29:21 He was brilliant.

Bill Burr 29:22 Oh, and he was tw- he would imitate his dad and shit and he would-

Joe Rogan 29:24 Regardless.

Bill Burr 29:25 Uh.

Joe Rogan 29:27 (laughs)

Bill Burr 29:27 No, it was like ...

Joe Rogan 29:28 Yeah.

Bill Burr 29:28 It was like ... Yeah, he would like hurt the crowd. It was like, people would be like, "Oh my God, stop, stop."

Joe Rogan 29:34 He was a good fucking guy too.

Bill Burr 29:35 Yeah, he was.

Joe Rogan 29:35 Like every time you saw Freddy Soto, he's all about hugs.

Bill Burr 29:39 Oh, he was a good dude. I, I loved everybody.

Joe Rogan 29:40 He loved everybody.

Bill Burr 29:40 Last time, last time I saw him we were working in, uh ... Remember the Aspen Comedy Festival?

Joe Rogan 29:45 Yeah, I remember that.

Bill Burr 29:46 Yeah. And I, I didn't see him the last couple years. Maybe I saw him out in LA, but that was the time that I remember because we were kinda in the same group. You know, group B, group, group A or whatever. So, uh, yeah, he was walking around. I think he was buying something for his wife or for his kid or something like that, and I ... Yeah, that one, Jesus. You know? You heard so ma- out of all of them, he was one I was just like, "Freddy?"

Joe Rogan 30:06 Yeah.

Bill Burr 30:06 For Freddy died? I couldn't believe that.

Joe Rogan 30:08 Sleep apnea apparently. Sleep apnea and pills to go to sleep. You know, like take Ambien if you have sleep apnea.

Bill Burr 30:14 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 30:14 You lock up and you just stop breathing.

Bill Burr 30:18 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 30:18 Sleep apnea is a real fucking problem. I have it. I take a mouthpiece. I put a mouthpiece in at night when I go to sleep and it keeps my tongue from falling back on my throat. (coughs) A lot of athletes have it. The bigger your neck gets, the more muscle tissue you have in your neck, the more it closes off your air hole when you go to sleep. Like there's a lot of meat in there.

Bill Burr 30:36 Well, stop doing the neck shit then, dude.

Joe Rogan 30:38 (coughs) Football players.

Bill Burr 30:38 What, what are you doing? (laughs) What do you got like a barbell you just tie it to the side of your fucking head?

Joe Rogan 30:43 No, it's, it's a side effect-

Bill Burr 30:43 Who needs a neck muscle?

Joe Rogan 30:44 ... of working out. You just get a big neck.

Bill Burr 30:47 Dude, you do these and no one can strangle you.

Joe Rogan 30:49 That is what it is. For real. Like you ... Well, someone could definitely still strangle you.

Bill Burr 30:54 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 30:54 But it helps.... a lot. Like, if you get a hold of a regular neck, regular necks just comply. They just give in.

Bill Burr 31:00 Can you please call your next special Regular Neck? (laughs)

Joe Rogan 31:05 (laughs)

Bill Burr 31:05 (clapping) I guarantee no one's gonna try and-

Joe Rogan 31:07 Woo!

Bill Burr 31:07 ... accidentally take that title.

Joe Rogan 31:08 That's true. Regular Neck.

Bill Burr 31:11 Regular Neck. Joe Rogan, Regular Neck.

Joe Rogan 31:13 It's hard coming up with a good name for a special. Are you d- somebody told me you were doing... Are we saying that you're gonna do your next one independent? Are you gonna do it independent?

Bill Burr 31:20 Um, no. I don't know how I'm gonna do it. I'm, I'm exploring all, like, the options and all of that. I'm t- I'm trying... I was trying to figure out a way to, uh... You know, 'cause there's just a ton of specials out there. Was just trying to figure out a way, but I mean, the, you know-

Joe Rogan 31:35 When was the last time you filmed?

Bill Burr 31:36 Uh, October 2016.

Joe Rogan 31:40 Hmm.

Bill Burr 31:40 So I'm, I'm due. I'm due. I'm... But it's like, am I due? I don't know. I don't know. Like, I don't, I don't, uh... It's, it's... What it is, is the special has changed since you and I started.

Joe Rogan 31:51 Yeah.

Bill Burr 31:52 Where a special was special. Now what it is, is it's just kind of an, uh, an hour-long advertisement letting people know that you're still out there. And, and it's like this just-

Joe Rogan 32:01 Doesn't it still... It documents your stuff, though.

Bill Burr 32:03 Yeah, it d- it does. It... But there's just such a sheer amount of stuff to see. To have, like, an impact the way... Like, I was trying to think, maybe the, the last one that really was just like, "Whoa," and I would say would be, like, maybe Dave Chappelle, Killing Them Softly, certainly Chris Rock, Bring the Pain, where it was just like... You know, I'm not saying there weren't ones that, like, like, people talked about, but like, just that thing where, like... Do you remember when we were kids it was just like, you know, Friday, "Hey man, see you on Monday," and then somehow on Monday everybody saw Delirious?

Joe Rogan 32:39 Right.

Bill Burr 32:39 Or everybody saw Dice, or everybody saw Sam Kinison on, on, on the, um, the, uh, the Dangerfield thing. And it was just like, no one was talking about it, and then just like, there was only so many channels, and that thing just caught enough people's eye and you came to school Monday and everyone was just talking about it. Like, um... You know, I'm, I'm still getting fucking tweets from people saying, "Hey, I finally got around to watching Breaking Bad."

Joe Rogan 33:07 (laughs)

Bill Burr 33:09 (laughs) And it's j-... You know what I mean?

Joe Rogan 33:09 Yeah.

Bill Burr 33:09 Or like, I was talking about The Wire one time, and they're like, "Dude, you, you, you could have said spoiler alert." It's like, that fucking went off the air in like 2006. Like, h- how much time do I have to give you to watch it, you know? So, um-

Joe Rogan 33:23 I still haven't seen The Wire.

Bill Burr 33:24 Dude, my buddy, his, uh, his son, the number one thing that he, he, he watches is h- on his phone, he's watching one of these guys that gets paid to play video games. He watches this guy on his phone play video games.

Joe Rogan 33:38 Everybody does that.

Bill Burr 33:39 Okay, so-

Joe Rogan 33:39 Super common.

Bill Burr 33:40 Yes. So now that's another thing to watch.

Joe Rogan 33:43 Exactly.

Bill Burr 33:44 Forget about online porn and fucking me watching Eric the Car Guy and all that. Trying to, uh, trying to, like, find, like, where you can, like, uh, drop the pamphlets of your career-

Joe Rogan 33:56 (laughs)

Bill Burr 33:56 ... basically. To be like, "Hey, man."

Joe Rogan 33:57 (laughs)

Bill Burr 33:58 "I'm s- still around."

Joe Rogan 33:59 I think i- i- there's definitely more content now than ever before, but for... In terms of like the amount of standup that's available, there's never been more great standup available to watch.

Bill Burr 34:09 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 34:09 Like, think about how many specials there are now. I mean, it's fu- it's fucking crazy.

Bill Burr 34:14 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 34:14 It really is.

Bill Burr 34:15 It is. Um, it's... Yeah. So they're not really specials. They're not specials.

Joe Rogan 34:21 No. See, they need a better name.

Bill Burr 34:21 They're not specials because, because it used to be... Specials used to be the top comics. Now-

Joe Rogan 34:27 Right.

Bill Burr 34:27 Arguably, it was basically the top white male comics. So the fact that they fixed that is a great thing. But now-

Joe Rogan 34:33 Was it, though? I mean, Chris Rock, Dave Chappelle, Damon Wayans.

Bill Burr 34:37 Yeah, dude, there was a lot of-

Joe Rogan 34:38 There was a lot of-

Bill Burr 34:39 There was a, there was a lot of white guys.

Joe Rogan 34:40 There was a lot of white guys.

Bill Burr 34:40 There was a lot of white guys.

Joe Rogan 34:40 But there was a lot of great Black guys too.

Bill Burr 34:43 I know.

Joe Rogan 34:43 The real, the real problem was women. There wasn't very many women.

Bill Burr 34:46 Yeah, but there's, you know-

Joe Rogan 34:46 I mean, there's like... Women in like three specials.

Bill Burr 34:48 There's Asians, there's Apaches, there's other people out there doing standup specials. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 34:52 (Laughs) There's Apaches?

Bill Burr 34:53 (laughs) Yeah, there's gotta be.

Joe Rogan 34:54 Apaches doing standup?

Bill Burr 34:54 There's gotta be. Anyways.

Joe Rogan 34:55 (laughs)

Bill Burr 34:56 But what I'm saying was... But it was the best of the best, where now it's just everybody... It's everybody.

Joe Rogan 35:03 Right. Right.

Bill Burr 35:03 So like, I remember... And I remember when it was changing. Well, I, I was doing a club and, uh, the feature act was complaining that he didn't get a half-hour special on one of these networks. And I'm thinking like, "You're a feature act."

Joe Rogan 35:16 I know, it's amazing, right?

Bill Burr 35:16 And like, "What are you, what are you gonna... You're gonna do your whole act? And you're still a feature and you wanna document that?" And it's just like, um, they used to give out half-hour specials when I started out and it was to like guys who had been on the road for like 15 years and they were picking from their headlining hour, uh, they were taking half of that, like the best bits from an hour. And then, you know, and that somehow, through time, just became a feature going up and doing his whole act.

Joe Rogan 35:43 Well, Netflix is doing that now. They have the Degenerate Special. They have, uh, Big Jay did one, Joey Diaz did one, Christina Pazsitzky did one, um-

Bill Burr 35:52 I'm not saying it's bad.

Joe Rogan 35:53 Yamaneika.

Bill Burr 35:53 I'm just saying it's changed.

Joe Rogan 35:55 Right.

Bill Burr 35:55 So because it's... It's even changed since, um, my last special that I put out, my last advertisement that I put out, uh, hour-long advertising. Um, so you just try to figure out... You t- 'cause everything's just fucking changing so fast, you're just trying to navigate like, "Where can I put this in all of this-"

Joe Rogan 36:14 Right.

Bill Burr 36:14 "... that it's gonna blink enough that someone's gonna stare at it and maybe like watch the thing?" I just noticed your fucking lights with the sky. That's pretty cool.

Joe Rogan 36:20 Pretty cool, right?

Bill Burr 36:21 Yes.

Joe Rogan 36:23 So what's the c- what's the company that makes those? Octolights? Shout out to Octolights. Yeah, um, Gaffigan did an interesting thing. He decided not to put his newest one on Netflix. He puts it on everything. It's on Hulu and Amazon. You can get it on iTunes, but not Netflix.

Bill Burr 36:40 Yeah, he's a smart guy.

Joe Rogan 36:41 Well, he just took a chance, I guess, you know, just decided to see what happens if you just make it available everywhere instead.

Bill Burr 36:49 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 36:49 I'd like to talk to him, see how successful that was.

Bill Burr 36:52 Yeah. I'll, uh... 'Cause I'm still working out my stra- I'll talk to you off-air about it.

Joe Rogan 36:56 Okay.

Bill Burr 36:56 'Cause I don't want... 'Cause it, it fucks-

Joe Rogan 36:58 Right.

Bill Burr 36:58 ... with my-

Joe Rogan 36:58 I get it.

Bill Burr 36:59 ... ability to-

Joe Rogan 37:00 Yeah.

Bill Burr 37:00 ... you know, make something happen. So I'll, I'll, I'll tell you what my idea was-... um, but it got nixed.

Joe Rogan 37:07 I've thought about doing it and just putting it right on YouTube. I've thought about doing that before.

Bill Burr 37:11 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 37:12 Just not getting paid for it, just shoving it right on YouTube to see what happens.

Bill Burr 37:16 Yeah, and YouTube... Yeah, yeah. I mean-

Joe Rogan 37:17 Yeah, just paying for it and just sticking it out there because if it is an advertisement, what's the best way to get it out there? Well, the best way would just be to put it on YouTube.

Bill Burr 37:26 Right.

Joe Rogan 37:26 And then, um, to segment it into like little chunks so that people could digest it-

Bill Burr 37:31 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 37:31 ... in, in bits. People wind up doing that. I don't think Netflix takes them down. I think when you have, uh, bits up that, like, from specials that, that go up on Netflix, I think Netflix just lets them stay up.

Bill Burr 37:43 It just depends on what your, uh, what your contract is-

Joe Rogan 37:47 Mm-hmm.

Bill Burr 37:47 ... 'cause you can work that in. Um, we did a special with Paul Verzi, All Things Comedy Network. We did a special with him, which was, did phenomenal, like broke all their online streaming, uh, um, records. And it was great because he was a guy that they don't really give special tos right, right now, you know?

Joe Rogan 38:07 Who did he do the special for?

Bill Burr 38:08 Uh, Comedy Central.

Joe Rogan 38:09 Oh, nice.

Bill Burr 38:10 And, uh-

Joe Rogan 38:11 So the, the streaming version was really successful.

Bill Burr 38:13 Yeah, I mean-

Joe Rogan 38:14 That's interesting.

Bill Burr 38:14 ... no, he, he, he did well on... Well, now trying to get people to actually just fucking sit down and watch television-

Joe Rogan 38:19 Right.

Bill Burr 38:19 ... like, everybody tape, you tape shit.

Joe Rogan 38:22 Right.

Bill Burr 38:22 That's just how it works, which is now if you watch like NFL games, they have this thing now where the game's going on and all of a sudden the game slides to the left and then there's two boxes and the advertising box is bigger because they know that everybody's taping games and they're blowing through it and advertisers somehow can tell if someone fast-forwarded through and then that they... The NFL doesn't make as much money, so now they're, they're running like this. So it's weird. There's like these two things, so you don't really have to look at the commercial. You can just sit there looking at the game, but then they're telling you about fucking whatever-

Joe Rogan 38:53 (laughs) At the same time.

Bill Burr 38:54 Yeah, it's weird.

Joe Rogan 38:55 That's gross.

Bill Burr 38:57 It's gross, but is it? I mean, that's how, you know, I make money off-

Joe Rogan 39:00 I, I get it.

Bill Burr 39:00 ... advertising. It's like-

Joe Rogan 39:01 Yeah.

Bill Burr 39:01 My, my thing, and what, what's gross is, is how you're, uh... What, you know. If you're dumping shit in the water supply, if you got like all kinds of like, you know. I mean, I think they all have some sort of labor fucking issues. Uh-

Joe Rogan 39:14 I would like to be able to pay-

Bill Burr 39:15 That's the gross part.

Joe Rogan 39:16 I would like to be able to pay to not have that, like if I could Amazon one-click 'em. Like, you, l- how much I gotta give you for each game where I don't have to see that?

Bill Burr 39:24 Yeah, but they'll, they-

Joe Rogan 39:25 They give you five bucks.

Bill Burr 39:25 They will fig-... But what the air- advertisers will do is their pockets are deeper and they're gonna, they're gonna go big. They're gonna find... Like, what's funny is when the internet started out, all of a sudden you just, you went from watching, seeing all these commercials to like nothing to now seeing way more than you ever saw.

Joe Rogan 39:41 Yeah.

Bill Burr 39:42 Like, my, the worst is when you're watching a long YouTube video and then all of a sudden it just stops and-

Joe Rogan 39:47 Mm-hmm.

Bill Burr 39:47 ... you know, they try to m- make it a nice break and then you're just watching this. And it annoys me, but I'm like, "Well, I do advertise on my podcast. How upset about this can I get?" Um, you know, I don't know.

Joe Rogan 39:58 Even when you see, when you look at the line and then you see those little yellow lines on the YouTube video where you know that's where the fucking ads are gonna pop up. Like, "Oh, there it is."

Bill Burr 40:06 No, I didn't know that.

Joe Rogan 40:07 Yeah. Isn't that how it works? Yeah.

Bill Burr 40:09 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 40:11 Yeah. Yeah, I mean, look, advertising is what it is. I mean, it's either that or you, you do like a Patreon-type deal where you have people contribute. Like, Sam Harris does that.

Bill Burr 40:20 Right.

Joe Rogan 40:21 He n- he doesn't-

Bill Burr 40:22 You know, there's a million ways to do it, but like I don't get mad at advertising because like I said, a standup special is me advertising that I'm gonna be out on the road.

Joe Rogan 40:28 You say that, but it's not. It's entertainment. It's for people that watch it. They can enjoy it. Like, no-

Bill Burr 40:34 Okay, but they-

Joe Rogan 40:34 No, no one's thinking about it that way.

Bill Burr 40:35 But there's a way also to do advertising entertainingly. Like way back those less filling taste great Bud Light comm- uh, well, uh, Miller Lite commercials were fucking great.

Joe Rogan 40:42 Yeah, funny. Yeah.

Bill Burr 40:43 They were great.

Joe Rogan 40:43 Yeah.

Bill Burr 40:43 And you wanted to see them and you loved them, um, or at least I did. Uh, so yeah, there's ways, there's ways to do everything.

Joe Rogan 40:50 They still have some good commercials. Like, what's that insurance lady who's always in those commercials? What is that?

Narrator 40:55 Flo.

Joe Rogan 40:56 Yeah, Flo. She's, she's fucking funny. There's some funny commercials still, but it's, you know, it's hard. I know Seinfeld was actually thinking about opening up an insurance agency at one point in time 'cause he apparently likes writing stuff like that and he was th- literally thinking about-

Bill Burr 41:10 Oh, an advertising agency.

Joe Rogan 41:11 Yeah. What'd I say? Insurance.

Bill Burr 41:12 Insurance, yeah.

Joe Rogan 41:13 I, uh, yeah, advertising. He was thinking about doing that at one point in time.

Bill Burr 41:16 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 41:17 About making ads.

Bill Burr 41:18 Then he was probably like, "Wait a minute, I don't wanna have a real job."

Joe Rogan 41:20 Yeah. It's like, "How much money do I need?"

Bill Burr 41:21 Yeah. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 41:23 (laughs) At a certain point in time. Guys like that make me feel normal with like car collecting. Like when I went to Jay Leno's place and he's got 11 buildings filled with cars. I'm like, "Oh, okay. I see where this goes."

Bill Burr 41:35 Yes.

Joe Rogan 41:36 I gotta give myself a number.

Bill Burr 41:37 Yeah. He has a, he has f- I've never been over there, but I, he has, he has enough cars to start his own traffic jam on the f-... He could fill up the 405, one side of it, I would think.

Joe Rogan 41:44 He could fill up the Pasadena Rose Bowl. He could fill up the fucking parking lot. It's ridiculous. I'll take you. You wanna go?

Bill Burr 41:51 Yeah, but I-

Joe Rogan 41:51 Fuck, you'd love it.

Bill Burr 41:52 Does he have-

Joe Rogan 41:53 Bring your truck.

Bill Burr 41:53 Does he have more, uh, uh, cars than days of the year?

Joe Rogan 41:59 Oh, yeah.

Bill Burr 42:00 'Cause I know he also has like motorcycles.

Joe Rogan 42:02 Oh, he's got a, he's got hundreds-

Bill Burr 42:04 That, that's, that's another one.

Joe Rogan 42:05 ... of cars.

Bill Burr 42:05 That's another one I went down the rabbit hole is, uh, was it Jay's Garage?

Joe Rogan 42:09 Yeah.

Bill Burr 42:09 Yeah. I-

Joe Rogan 42:10 Great show.

Bill Burr 42:10 Oh, yeah. I loved it. No, I, I, I... Yeah, I got into all the Gas Monkey Garage, Jay's Garage, uh-

Joe Rogan 42:17 I'm getting that Gas Monkey guy on the show.

Bill Burr 42:19 Oh, uh, Richard Rawlings?

Joe Rogan 42:20 Yeah, I just got an email yesterday.

Bill Burr 42:22 Oh, dude, that guy's a f-

Joe Rogan 42:23 He asked me out. I'm like, "Fuck yeah." I love that guy.

Bill Burr 42:23 That guy's a fucking riot.

Joe Rogan 42:25 I love that guy.

Bill Burr 42:26 Ask him about my favorite episode.

Joe Rogan 42:28 (laughs)

Bill Burr 42:29 My favorite fucking episode of that 'cause he always like... I watched that show so much, I knew the number he was gonna come at.

Joe Rogan 42:36 Oh.

Bill Burr 42:36 Like, they'd be like, "Okay, what do you want for this car?" And, and he'd always get them to say it first.

Joe Rogan 42:40 Right.

Bill Burr 42:40 And they'd be like, "Uh, I mean, I was, I was thinking like, uh, five grand." And then he'd be, "Oh, man, yeesh, five grand. Man, I can't... I mean, I mean, th- I, I, I could do, I could do like 2700," right? And then the fucking guy would then go down to four grand and he would come up like f- like 300 bucks and he'd end up getting the car for like three grand, like whatever the fuck you wanted, right? So one time he went out and he busted this guy down on like a f- uh, an old Trans Am or a Firebird or some shit. I forget what-... the guy sells it to him for, like, fucking, he wanted, like, 18 grand or something. He sold it to him for, like, 11. So he fucking gets the car over there, he's talking about what he's gonna do about, with it, and all of a sudden the guy's brother calls up and says, "Hey, that guy didn't have the fucking right to sell that car. That's also mine. You gotta br- you know, I'm gonna come down and go- I gotta buy it back from you." So the guy comes down and he's, you know, asking what he, he wants for it and Richard's just like, "I mean, I was thinking like 20."

Joe Rogan 43:38 (laughs)

Bill Burr 43:38 And the guy goes, he goes, "Dude, you bought it from my brother. I know what you paid for it."

Joe Rogan 43:42 (laughs)

Bill Burr 43:42 And he actually got embarrassed. He's like, "Aw man, I'm sorry." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 43:46 (laughs)

Bill Burr 43:46 It's the only time I ever saw him get, like, embarrassed. He wasn't, he just went into, like, his, his thing. And, like, I swear to God, like-

Joe Rogan 43:52 Ugh!

Bill Burr 43:52 ... watching that show, like, you get better at, like, negotiating and, like, uh, and, like, o- occasionally he does, like, these sketches too where he, he'll do, like, a character imitating, like, an old school used car salesman. And you just, the, how good he does it-

Joe Rogan 44:07 Yeah.

Bill Burr 44:08 ... 'cause, you know, it's not he's a performer or an actor or anything, how good he does this, like, this guy is, like, this is just in his blood. He's just been a car guy. He's been flipping cars. I, I'm trying to b- I haven't seen the show in a minute, but, like, he used to talk about how he, uh, uh, you know, by the time he was, like, 19 he was on, like, his 30th car or something.

Joe Rogan 44:25 (laughs)

Bill Burr 44:25 Like, he was just like, "I like that car. I'm gonna buy this car. I like that one." And he would just, every month would just flip them. Um...

Joe Rogan 44:31 Those cars are, there's something about those shows that y- y- uh, uh, those and auction shows or any time, like, uh, pawn shop shows, there's something about wanting to know how the deal plays out.

Bill Burr 44:44 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 44:44 You know? That is so compelling for people. There's something, uh, like, and, and I'm a moron. I'll just sit there staring, like, "How much are they gonna get?"

Bill Burr 44:51 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 44:51 "How much are they gonna get for that?"

Bill Burr 44:52 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 44:53 "Look at that. Civil War coins? What are those worth?"

Bill Burr 44:55 And how much they bust them down-

Joe Rogan 44:56 Yeah, yeah.

Bill Burr 44:56 ... and it's like, yeah. I mean, that guy, uh, Richard's probably the best I've seen.

Joe Rogan 45:00 He's the most entertaining, 'cause he's, like, a fun guy to watch.

Bill Burr 45:03 It's a performance.

Joe Rogan 45:04 Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Bill Burr 45:05 He's like, "Ah, man, I, I mean, I, I was thinking..."

Joe Rogan 45:07 "Ah, man, I don't know."

Bill Burr 45:09 Yeah, and then he goes up there and he pulls out this giant wad. It's like, "Dude, you had it!"

Joe Rogan 45:12 (laughs)

Bill Burr 45:12 "You had the money!" And the other guy has to sit there and watch it. Then he kinda makes fun of him afterwards.

Joe Rogan 45:18 Yeah. Yeah.

Bill Burr 45:19 You know? He c- kinda ma- you know, in a fun- like a funny way or whatever. But, um, um...

Joe Rogan 45:23 It's a funny thing too that, how appealing that is to men. Like, I bet if you looked at the number of women who watch those car shows versus the number of men. Like, y- you know, Motor Trend has a channel now. They have their own channel.

Bill Burr 45:35 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 45:35 And I, I guarantee you that is 97% dudes and 3% women complaining, 3% women going-

Bill Burr 45:41 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 45:41 ... "What the fuck are you watching?"

Bill Burr 45:43 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 45:43 Like, if you looked at the actual numbers, like, what is it about cars? Like, girls can drive cars. Girls drive cars all the time.

Bill Burr 45:50 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 45:50 Girls like cars. They don't like cars the way guys like cars. It's just, most of them.

Bill Burr 45:55 Generally speaking, yeah.

Joe Rogan 45:56 Outside of, like, Danica Patrick and a few psychos.

Bill Burr 45:58 Yeah. I met her one time. She, she-

Joe Rogan 46:01 Yeah, I saw a picture with you of her.

Bill Burr 46:02 Yeah, she did a pa- she took me around the Indianapolis Motor Speedways.

Joe Rogan 46:04 No!

Bill Burr 46:05 Yeah. Coming down that straightaway and seeing, like, you know where they have the leaderboard and everything-

Joe Rogan 46:09 Wow!

Bill Burr 46:09 ... was iconic. And I've been to that race a couple of times, so it was crazy and-

Joe Rogan 46:13 How fast were you going?

Bill Burr 46:15 She ended onl- she only went, like, half the speed of what the car, like, wha- how fast they would be going or something. We got up to maybe, like, 140, but we were, like, going around turns and, like, my face was doing this. But what I loved about her was she had, like, test pilot vibe.

Joe Rogan 46:31 Yeah. Yeah.

Bill Burr 46:32 Like, she came up and it was just vice.

Joe Rogan 46:33 (laughs)

Bill Burr 46:34 Like, handshake and shit.

Joe Rogan 46:35 Oh, she's a beast.

Bill Burr 46:36 Yeah. It was pretty, uh-

Joe Rogan 46:38 "Look at this. There you guys are."

Bill Burr 46:40 Yeah, yeah. She was just totally, like, uh ... Look at, look at the little difference in her sunglasses and my sunglasses. I definitely l- I have passenger sunglasses, you know?

Joe Rogan 46:48 What are you talking about? They look the same.

Bill Burr 46:49 No, no, no. Those are, like, right off the fucking-

Joe Rogan 46:51 What's wrong?

Bill Burr 46:52 ... shelf.

Joe Rogan 46:52 What's wrong with your sunglasses versus hers?

Bill Burr 46:54 No, you'll see it.

Joe Rogan 46:56 I don't get it.

Bill Burr 46:56 It's all in the details. Come on, man. It's like me, you know, I w- when I ... I probably g- you know, your crescent kick probably looks the same as, fucking, some guy in a strip mall to me. I mean, I-

Joe Rogan 47:03 That's hilarious that you say crescent kick.

Bill Burr 47:05 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 47:05 That's one of the rarest kicks that anybody ever pulls off, ever.

Bill Burr 47:08 I- it's leftover from the '80s. Whatever. Um ...

Joe Rogan 47:11 (laughs)

Bill Burr 47:11 But, uh-

Joe Rogan 47:12 I mean, it's kinda legit. Crescent kick's kinda legit.

Bill Burr 47:14 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 47:14 It's very rare though.

Bill Burr 47:15 My only thing about Mecum is after a while it just all becomes, like, Shelby and, and-

Joe Rogan 47:18 Mecum auctions? Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Bill Burr 47:19 ... and, and HEMIs.

Joe Rogan 47:20 Yeah, yeah.

Bill Burr 47:20 "HEMI 'Cuda, we got a Hemi 'Cuda coming up in Plum Crazy."

Joe Rogan 47:24 Those fucking things are too much. You bu- you buy those things for a million dollars, and when their car came out it was, like, 20 grand. I mean, not even. Not even 20 grand.

Bill Burr 47:31 But I like, I like weird shit.

Joe Rogan 47:33 Yeah.

Bill Burr 47:33 I like, uh, you know, I wanna get the, a '76 GMC RV. That's what I wanna go on the road with.

Joe Rogan 47:39 Yeah.

Bill Burr 47:39 And, uh, then they had this thing, was c- I think it was called palm, palm desert green or something like that. It was, like, this total Ron Burgundy. If you ca- if you c-

Joe Rogan 47:48 Look at that! (laughs)

Bill Burr 47:48 Yeah, look at that thing!

Joe Rogan 47:49 (laughs)

Bill Burr 47:49 Click on the interior, dude.

Joe Rogan 47:50 Ah!

Bill Burr 47:51 And that thing was way ahead of its time.

Joe Rogan 47:52 Oh, man!

Bill Burr 47:52 Way ahead of its time.

Joe Rogan 47:53 That's amazing. Look at that fucking piece of shit. (laughs)

Bill Burr 47:57 That's not a piece of shit. That's fucking tremendous.

Joe Rogan 47:59 (laughs)

Bill Burr 48:01 Look at the captain's chair, dude!

Joe Rogan 48:02 Ah! They swivel. Oh my God.

Bill Burr 48:04 Dude, let me tell you something. You walk offstage and get on that fucking thing?

Joe Rogan 48:08 You feel like a king.

Bill Burr 48:09 You got a driver. What do you give a fuck?

Joe Rogan 48:12 (laughs)

Bill Burr 48:13 You don't give a fuck about anything. I could be on the road forever in that.

Joe Rogan 48:16 Just making eggs on that little stove top.

Bill Burr 48:19 No, you're in there drinking. You're doing what you want. You're watching Goodfellas or fucking Anchorman.

Joe Rogan 48:24 That is pretty beautiful. It's so r- well, it's an experience too. You're riding in that thing, you're, that's a retro experience. That's not just a truck.

Bill Burr 48:32 Oh. Yeah. That thing, I, you know ... My wife nixed it. Was like, "Where are you, where are you gonna put it," or whatever. I was like, "Well, the fucking driver will keep it."

Joe Rogan 48:40 (laughs)

Bill Burr 48:40 I don't need it. She was right. My wife's always right. Not always, but mostly.

Joe Rogan 48:44 Women don't like when you collect shit. Like, "Where are you gonna put that?" They don't like that. You get too many things.

Bill Burr 48:50 Oh, dude. No, you know, I-

Joe Rogan 48:51 That's half the reason why I got this place. Collect shit here.

Bill Burr 48:54 Oh, yeah?

Joe Rogan 48:55 Nobody can say nothing. This spot, no one says nothing.

Bill Burr 48:59 No, but then it becomes, "You spend more time down there than you do up here."

Joe Rogan 49:02 I don't though. I've got it b- I got it nailed. I figured it out. Get up early.

Bill Burr 49:07 Ugh, you're being such a jerk.

Joe Rogan 49:09 (laughs)

Bill Burr 49:11 That's why they don't have a point. I don't. I actually s-

Joe Rogan 49:13 (laughs)

Bill Burr 49:13 I can actually refute your opinion, your point or whatever.

Joe Rogan 49:16 I- it's so universal too.... all women have that response, like, (sighs) "The fuck is wrong with you?"

Bill Burr 49:23 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 49:23 Hmm?

Bill Burr 49:24 Stairway to the highway. (smacks lips)

Joe Rogan 49:26 Yeah.

Bill Burr 49:26 That's it.

Joe Rogan 49:27 Well, imagine being them and watching you. Imagine being a woman, have, taking care of your children. You know, you give birth, you have this little tiny infant, and then financially you're relying on this fucking maniac who's out there flying helicopters and fixing cars and-

Bill Burr 49:41 I know.

Joe Rogan 49:42 ... playing drums all day. It's like, "What are you?" (sighs) Long as the money keeps coming in, they can't say anything, but they're like, "What the fuck are you doing?"

Bill Burr 49:49 Yeah. At the end of the day, you married an eight-year-old. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 49:53 (laughs) Exactly.

Bill Burr 49:54 You wanna marry a comedian?

Joe Rogan 49:55 Oh, Jesus Christ. You know, you're lucky we're not drug addicts.

Bill Burr 50:00 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 50:01 Yeah.

Bill Burr 50:01 No, I'm, I'm, uh, I gotta, I gotta work on myself, man. I gotta fucking, you know, I, I just, yeah. I, I am a difficult person to, to live with, evidently. I didn't realize it, but, like, um, now looking at it honestly, stepping back and looking, I go, "Yeah, I can see that."

Joe Rogan 50:18 Oh.

Bill Burr 50:18 "I can fucking see that."

Joe Rogan 50:19 Yeah, I've thought about it. I'm definitely difficult.

Bill Burr 50:22 Well, if you don't think about it, they'll remind you about it. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 50:24 Yeah. But I mean, I, I would just imagine relying on me. I mean, I'm reliable. Like, I'm, I'm not-

Bill Burr 50:31 I wanna be like, "Look-

Joe Rogan 50:32 ... irresponsible.

Bill Burr 50:32 ... i- i- if you, you could've married the me that worked in a fucking warehouse and I would've been the same thing, you know? And it, we would be in a fucking studio apartment.

Joe Rogan 50:39 Here's the deal, though. They wouldn't have married you.

Bill Burr 50:42 Huh?

Joe Rogan 50:42 They would've found someone better.

Bill Burr 50:44 Yeah. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 50:47 Yeah. If you were just fucking off, never got your shit together.

Bill Burr 50:50 No, you know what it is about women too, is their ability to move on.

Joe Rogan 50:52 Yeah. Whoo.

Bill Burr 50:53 Like I've al-, I've always said, like, if I ever fucking died, how quickly all my clothes would be down at the Goodwill. You know? And she'd just-

Joe Rogan 50:59 Mm-hmm.

Bill Burr 50:59 ... be like, "You know, sell the house. Let's just burn some sage."

Joe Rogan 51:03 Yeah.

Bill Burr 51:03 "That was interesting. All right."

Joe Rogan 51:05 Well, all my disc-

Bill Burr 51:06 "Next up to the plate." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 51:08 A- all my discussions with biologists and people who study, like, what, what's Gad Saad's, uh, uh, h- what is his discipline?

Narrator 51:15 Behavioral psychology.

Joe Rogan 51:16 Behavioral psychology. But he studies, you know, motivation.

Bill Burr 51:20 His name is Gad Saad?

Joe Rogan 51:21 Yes.

Bill Burr 51:21 Is that his last name or his full name?

Joe Rogan 51:22 S-A-A-D. Gad, that's his first name, Gad. S-A-A-D is his last name.

Narrator 51:29 Exactly.

Bill Burr 51:30 Does it rhyme? Does it also rhyme?

Joe Rogan 51:31 Lebanese-Canadian evolutionary behavioral scientist.

Bill Burr 51:34 Okay.

Joe Rogan 51:34 Brilliant guy. He was on the podcast yesterday-

Bill Burr 51:35 So in Lebanon, does his name still rhyme?

Joe Rogan 51:38 That's a good question.

Narrator 51:38 Mm-hmm.

Bill Burr 51:39 Is there anywhere he can go where-

Joe Rogan 51:40 Gad Saad?

Bill Burr 51:40 Nobody ju- ... "My name's Gad Saad."

Joe Rogan 51:43 No. He calls himself the Gadfather. He's a great guy.

Bill Burr 51:47 Oh, oh, so he, he, he just steered into it.

Joe Rogan 51:49 He's a great guy. He's hilarious.

Bill Burr 51:50 I can imagine when he was 13.

Joe Rogan 51:51 But brilliant when he's talking about-

Bill Burr 51:52 "My last name's Saad! Why would you name me Gad, Mom?"

Joe Rogan 51:57 (laughs) Gad Saad. I don't think Saad means the same thing over there, you know? Different language.

Bill Burr 52:01 It, it, de- by end of the day, it rhymes.

Joe Rogan 52:04 It does.

Bill Burr 52:04 There's no country you can be on. You could be on that fucking little island where they shot that guy with the arrows and they're g- they're gonna make fun of you.

Joe Rogan 52:10 True.

Bill Burr 52:10 They'll probably kick you off the island. You can't-

Joe Rogan 52:12 Yeah.

Bill Burr 52:12 You can't name your k- ... Like, some of these celebrities, some of the fucking names they name their kids, it's just like, "Don't you remember school?"

Joe Rogan 52:18 (laughs)

Bill Burr 52:18 "You don't remember how fucking mean kids were? Why are you giving a, a, a p- painting a fucking b-" I get it, you're creative.

Joe Rogan 52:26 Yeah.

Bill Burr 52:27 Have a meditation room. Fucking don't do that with the name.

Joe Rogan 52:30 I know. Give them a nice bill name.

Bill Burr 52:32 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 52:33 William.

Bill Burr 52:33 This is Folding Chair Johnson.

Joe Rogan 52:38 People need to express themselves and they do it through the naming of their children.

Bill Burr 52:42 My other favorite thing that what they do is when they fucking, they, they put their political agenda on them. Like, the kid doesn't even have a fucking chance. Like, this whole thing, like, uh, gender roles.

Joe Rogan 52:53 Babies.

Bill Burr 52:53 By the way, that, my little experience being a dad going to kid birthday parties, they, those kids are not old enough for that behavior to be learned. Dude, the kids come, the boys show up, it is fucking Braveheart.

Joe Rogan 53:08 (laughs)

Bill Burr 53:08 They come over the fucking hill.

Joe Rogan 53:10 Yeah.

Bill Burr 53:10 They're r- ... Like, the, the, the girls are social. They're sitting there, they're kind of, they're taking things in. You know, the kids, boys come and they fucking th- ... Dude, I, we were at one on Saturday and there was this li- this kid who's hilarious. He looked like a little Bobby Hurley as a point guard, right? And, um, he was playing this game. He had, like, this ball, and he was using his, his, his, like, forearms as a bat. And he was hitting it, then he would catch it, and then he would throw it between his legs, and he was doing all this. Th- th- this kid's hand-eye coordination was great for his age. So over in the corner where I was sitting with my daughter was these, uh, like, little, like, sort of, like, cushions that someone had put together, like, three-piece thing, and made it into, like, a little chair for s- so an old person like me could sit down. So I stood up because I was worried the ball was gonna hit, so I was kinda guarding that. So he went over and grabbed the ball at one point, and just seeing the chair there, you know, all built like that, he just saw it and just kicked it, just destroyed it, and then continued on. I was thinking like, "Why did he do that?"

Joe Rogan 54:04 Because he's a boy.

Bill Burr 54:04 He's a boy. Yeah, we like ruin shit.

Joe Rogan 54:07 Well, you got a lot of energy. Little kids, like, need something to do that's physical. Their, their little bodies have, their little, little batteries overflowing with energy. You gotta give them stuff to do.

Bill Burr 54:17 I'm just saying that their shit was all about, like, grabbing, throwing, breaking.

Joe Rogan 54:23 Smashing. Yeah.

Bill Burr 54:23 Breaking.

Joe Rogan 54:24 Yeah. Do you remember being a kid?

Bill Burr 54:25 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 54:25 Everybody did that. It was-

Bill Burr 54:26 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 54:26 ... it was normal.

Bill Burr 54:27 So this, this whole thing of, like, like, "Well, women aren't aggressive like that because, you know, of bl- bl-"

Narrator 54:32 Society standards.

Bill Burr 54:33 Yeah, I think it's m- they're aggressive in, like ... I think that they, uh, they literally from, like, just survival shit, they're looking and like, "All right, that's what I have to compete with." And there are m- ... You see them looking at the boys who appear to be dominating, and what they are is they're actually showing all of their cards. And the little girls are already taking it in, breaking them down, knowing, "Well, I can't get physical with this person. I can't, like, dominate this person physically. This is definitely ..." And, and they just immediately start going like, "That's why they're fucking smarter than we are," I think. No?

Joe Rogan 55:06 (laughs)

Bill Burr 55:09 (bangs desk) Did I lose you somewhere in that?

Joe Rogan 55:11 (laughs) No. I don't necessarily think they're smarter. (smacks lips) I think what's going on is that, uh, men have d- d- we have different DNA, and the, the, the genes are aggressive.... and men-

Bill Burr 55:22 Whatever. I'm-

Joe Rogan 55:22 ... are supposed to be doing reckless shit-

Bill Burr 55:24 Right.

Joe Rogan 55:24 ... that's-

Bill Burr 55:25 I'm just saying it's not-

Joe Rogan 55:26 ... how we survive.

Bill Burr 55:26 It's not society didn't sit down-

Joe Rogan 55:28 No, it's not.

Bill Burr 55:28 ... and they didn't watch three cereal commercials and then be like, "Oh, I need to be fucking this." I, I just think that's, that's just some, uh, bullshit that adults come, came up with and, uh-

Joe Rogan 55:41 It's not just adults. It's almost always women. It's women that think that there's something wrong with the way men are raising their sons. They think there's something, that like, th- this idea of-

Bill Burr 55:51 (sighs)

Joe Rogan 55:51 ... these men raising these kids and these kids being aggressive is because of the way they've been coached. That's not true. It's just, that's just a part of being a boy. There's a bu- shit ton of studies if people wanted to actually look at the science. If you leave boys alone with toys and girls alone with toys, boys will gravitate towards trucks and fucking, uh, you know, things that they can hit and smash. And girls sit down there with little teacups and they play with dolls. It's natural. It's just 100% natural.

Bill Burr 56:17 Yeah. Well-

Joe Rogan 56:17 There was a documentary on theybies, you know what theybies are? Gender neutral, raising their kids gender neutral so they don't call them a boy or a girl.

Bill Burr 56:26 And my thing with that is there's no way you're not saying to your son, "You're sure you don't wanna wear the dress?" And then the kid wants to fucking-

Joe Rogan 56:35 (laughs)

Bill Burr 56:35 ... wants the parent's approval. "Yeah, I didn't want that football."

Joe Rogan 56:39 Yeah.

Bill Burr 56:39 "I guess I wanted the dress."

Joe Rogan 56:41 Yeah.

Bill Burr 56:41 And it's just like, like I said, you know, my kid's barely two, so what the fuck do I know? I'm just saying my limited experience at kids' birthday parties is, it's not even, how it was ever even questioned that like, they're too fucking, too young. They're fucking year and a half, two years old. Like, you're telling me that society has already-

Joe Rogan 57:04 Exactly.

Bill Burr 57:04 Yeah, they have-

Joe Rogan 57:05 It's ridiculous. (coughs) But it's, it's usually women that want to push this and men who are bitches. It's like these, these men that don't-

Bill Burr 57:14 (groans) They're the worst.

Joe Rogan 57:15 ... like aggressive, they don't like aggressive men. They don't like manly men. And so they, they push it as well. It's these-

Bill Burr 57:21 No, 'cause they're aggressive-

Joe Rogan 57:22 ... they want everybody.

Bill Burr 57:22 ... and they're controlling and they wanna run shit. And that's, 'cause that's the thing, where like if you really look at their agenda when they say the future is feminine, that's not inclusive.

Joe Rogan 57:31 No.

Bill Burr 57:31 And they're, and they're all about, "Oh, make this more inclusive." It's like, no, let us in so we can take it over and then we'll push you down. Is, is the psychology of the kind of person that goes after that, someone that's after like power. I'm not saying the average woman is like that. My wife is a feminist and she's into like inclusive shit. But like people who are spearheading stuff.

Joe Rogan 57:50 Yes.

Bill Burr 57:51 Like those people are wired the same way like, you know, I mean, I don't-

Joe Rogan 57:54 A dominator is.

Bill Burr 57:55 Yes.

Joe Rogan 57:56 (coughs) Yeah.

Bill Burr 57:57 Yes, and there's gonna be no room for, it's gonna be like, think the way, like a lot of that, that so-called progressive extreme left is think the way we think, say what we say, or we will fucking destroy you.

Joe Rogan 58:09 Pull up that tweet that I retweeted today, that David Pakman retweet. (coughs) David Pakman is this liberal, progressive guy. This woman posts on Twitter she would never vote for a w- a, a man or a white per- a white man or a white person? White-

Narrator 58:25 White or male.

Joe Rogan 58:26 White, someone who's white or male. He says that's racist and sexist. It is. So she blocks him on Twitter. Today she called Boston College demanding that they not have him back as adjunct faculty. It's crazy. So this woman posts this and he points out that it's racist and sexist, so she blocks him and she tries to get him fired.

Bill Burr 58:51 Okay. Th- this is why that whole thing is fucked up, okay? Because he's acting like white people exist on an even plane, which is, which a lot of people try to do. So it's like-

Joe Rogan 59:00 But he's not necessarily, he's just saying that what she's saying is racist and sexist-

Bill Burr 59:04 Yes.

Joe Rogan 59:04 ... because she's determining who she's gonna vote for based entirely on their race-

Bill Burr 59:07 Yes.

Joe Rogan 59:08 ... and their sex.

Bill Burr 59:08 But there's, there's other elements involved, like the level that white people, not saying all white people, but white people have fucked over people who are not white. Forget about poor white people who they've fucked over. So you understand that, but he, they're both right, but then like, the fact that she then takes it to the point that because he had the audacity to have a difference of an opinion, that that's the thing now and that now we're gonna destroy you and you can't be on this thing. And then the other level of that is how the corporate entities are so afraid that one fucking nickel is gonna roll out the d- 'Cause all of this shit is you're just a paper tiger until you get the big behemoth to listen to you. And there's all of these, these fucking things from award shows to this bullshit that someone just needs to be like, "Listen, this guy already apologized. This is, this is an old fucking thing." Or, uh, "Look, you just had a difference of opinion that, y- you know, this isn't the first time you're gonna say something and somebody's gonna disagree with you. That doesn't mean that this guy can't come back." Um, you know, and you obviously, 'cause of some shit that's happened to you, have an extreme opinion about this guy because of the color of his skin. It's like there's so many fucked up elements to that, that, but for some reason you can't like, if you address that on any level, um, then you're part of the problem. And then-

Joe Rogan 1:00:28 Well, it's not just part of the problem.

Bill Burr 1:00:29 Then they-

Joe Rogan 1:00:30 She's trying to get him fired. She's trying to get him fired for pointing out that something is racist and sexist.

Bill Burr 1:00:35 No, I'm saying if, if you say what I just said-

Joe Rogan 1:00:37 Yes.

Bill Burr 1:00:37 ... try to look at it 360.

Joe Rogan 1:00:39 Oh, yeah, and you're part of the problem.

Bill Burr 1:00:40 As much as I can-

Joe Rogan 1:00:41 Yeah.

Bill Burr 1:00:41 ... which is why I love South Park is everything that they do, they do it 360, right?

Joe Rogan 1:00:45 Mm-hmm.

Bill Burr 1:00:45 And, uh, so I learned a lot from that show by the way they look at stuff like that 'cause I, well I don't fucking know everything. But even just to try to be like, "Well hey, you know, you know, insulted him a little bit."

Joe Rogan 1:00:55 Yeah.

Bill Burr 1:00:55 "I understand what you're saying and blah, blah, blah." You can't fucking do that anymore 'cause then somebody, "You're part of the fucking problem." And no, it's really gotten crazy. It's gotten to the point like I've seen, I'm not gonna name names, but I've seen like, you know, a tweet from a fellow comic telling comics what jokes you shouldn't talk about this topic. It's like, who the fuck are you? It's like there's already enough people doing that. You, you're gonna do like cannibalism now?

Joe Rogan 1:01:17 Have you really, you've r- you ever seen comics say that?

Bill Burr 1:01:19 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:01:20 Real comics?

Bill Burr 1:01:23 ... uh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:01:25 (laughs)

Bill Burr 1:01:25 I mean, everybody has their opinion on somebody's fucking act-

Joe Rogan 1:01:28 (clears throat)

Bill Burr 1:01:28 ... but I mean, yeah. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:01:30 That's ridiculous. That's not a real comic.

Bill Burr 1:01:32 Um, well, I wouldn't say that. They are a real comic. They just have an opinion I don't agree with.

Joe Rogan 1:01:36 They can fuck off.

Bill Burr 1:01:38 Uh, y- well, I mean, yeah, I mean... (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:01:42 (laughs)

Bill Burr 1:01:42 Trying to have less confrontations-

Joe Rogan 1:01:44 cough ] Well, I understand.

Bill Burr 1:01:45 ... in my life here.

Joe Rogan 1:01:46 That kinda shit drives me crazy, though. What, what drives me most crazy is this bullying, like, she's trying to get him fired. She's trying to get him fired for having an opinion on something that she publicly stated.

Bill Burr 1:01:55 One of these, the, the, the, somebody running one of these things has to be, like, you know ... And it can't just be private. It has to be a public tweet to say that this is j- it's just going too far. And this fucking thing where you have a difference of an opinion now and they're just gonna, you know, take your fucking job away, you know? I ran into this shit, you know, when, you know, uh, when the Me Too stuff first started coming up. People would try to, like, you know, you know, you had to tweet the right fucking thing, and if, and if you said anything, sort of, "Oh, let's, let's look at the evidence." God forbid you fucking said that. And it just became, like, this whole, uh, "You're part of the problem." Then they would try to take you down-

Joe Rogan 1:02:37 Mm-hmm.

Bill Burr 1:02:37 ... or tr- or, or, or someone you were, you were friends with or doing a show with or represented by. They, they would try to do, like, that pressure to try ... And, uh, and it was just like ... And all you had to say is, like, "No, I'm not doing that." And then it, it just goes away 'cause you don't have a fucking leg to stand on.

Joe Rogan 1:02:54 Well, also the people that are doing it, it's a small percentage of a, it's a very vocal minority.

Bill Burr 1:02:57 Unbelievably small.

Joe Rogan 1:02:59 Yeah.

Bill Burr 1:02:59 Unbelievably small, and the, and, you know, comics, it's like we're literally running for office. We're out there campaigning, you're i- for this election that never happens, and you're going through red states, blue states. You're going through fucking everything, and the general consensus of people is like, like, "Dude, that, that was fucking crazy." Like, "That, that doesn't make sense." But no one wants to say it because they're gonna get steamrolled, and when-

Joe Rogan 1:03:21 Well, you know how ... Saw what happened with Matt Damon, right? Matt Damon said, "We have to make a differentiation between the Harvey Weinsteins in the world and then someone who," you know, like Aziz Ansari goes on a bad date. There's a big difference between those two, and they attacked him, and they tried to get him pulled off of that movie, Oceans 8.

Bill Burr 1:03:37 Yeah, and they-

Joe Rogan 1:03:38 And e-

Bill Burr 1:03:38 ... and they were acting like that, like, killing somebody versus stealing a car versus jaywalking, like, the, the ... Literally, the whole judicial system-

Joe Rogan 1:03:48 Yeah.

Bill Burr 1:03:48 ... is based on what you did is your punishment. Your parents do that.

Joe Rogan 1:03:52 Right. Yeah.

Bill Burr 1:03:53 You know what I mean?

Joe Rogan 1:03:54 How bad was what you did.

Bill Burr 1:03:55 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:03:55 Yeah.

Bill Burr 1:03:56 That's all ... That's what that sounded like.

Joe Rogan 1:03:59 The ... Yeah, exac- it's exactly like that.

Bill Burr 1:04:00 And we live in a world now where I have to be measured in the way that I say that what he said, you know, affected me, how I heard it, and then also, "And uh, this is just a typical fucking bald white male."

Joe Rogan 1:04:13 Yep.

Bill Burr 1:04:13 And they, they go in that route. It's like, you, you literally sound like what the fuck you're against, and, um, it's, it's a, uh, it's not gonna last. And I feel like, uh, it's like the end of the winter, and people wanna go outside and get some sun on their face, and you, you, you didn't, like ... No, no, like, uh, uh, taking people by the back of their fucking neck and fucking shoving their face in the shit, it, it ... That ... You can't sustain that.

Joe Rogan 1:04:41 No.

Bill Burr 1:04:42 You can't sustain it.

Joe Rogan 1:04:43 Well, it doesn't work.

Bill Burr 1:04:43 It doesn't, because-

Joe Rogan 1:04:44 It doesn't work. You don't get people to change by yelling at them. Doesn't work. You're just-

Bill Burr 1:04:48 Or bombing them, like what the fuck we're doing.

Joe Rogan 1:04:50 Yeah.

Bill Burr 1:04:51 Like-

Joe Rogan 1:04:51 Yeah.

Bill Burr 1:04:51 ... that, that's not ... All you're doing is you're just building up resentment-

Joe Rogan 1:04:53 Yeah.

Bill Burr 1:04:54 ... and more people