Joe Rogan Experience #1220 - Joey Diaz

1. 0:00 – 1:23

   Holiday cold open: phones as bugs, AirPods “Live Listen,” and modern surveillance

   1. JRJoe Rogan0:00

      ... just act like there is.

   2. JDJoey Diaz0:02

      I assume there is.

   3. JRJoe Rogan0:03

      Yeah, always assume. Woo! Merry Christmas, ladies and gentlemen. Merry Christmas.

   4. JDJoey Diaz0:08

      Happy New Year. Merry Christmas. It's fucking on, you understand me? It's Christmas Eve. You thought it was gonna be ho-hum? Fuck you. Uncle Joey, Joe Rogan here, fucking live, Christmas Eve. Talking about bugs in your house and how easy it is for the feds ...

   5. JRJoe Rogan0:24

      They don't need to bug your house anymore. They just use your phone.

   6. JDJoey Diaz0:26

      No. They just-

   7. JRJoe Rogan0:26

      They just turn them o- Jamie, tell them, tell them what you were telling me about that, uh, the AirPods.

   8. JVJamie Vernon0:31

      Oh, yeah. There's a, there's a new setting on the, uh, (clears throat) a new, uh, in- operating system where your AirPods, you turn on this thing called Live Listen, and it, it's listening to the microphone on your iPhone. So you can leave your phone in a room, walk out, and you can ... You s- just made your own bug. But (coughs) that means that anybody that can then access your phone could probably also listen if they have access to that. I don't know how strong that really is.

   9. JRJoe Rogan0:54

      But they've already said, like, if you talk to anybody that knows what's possible with electronics, they can already turn your microphone on anytime they want.

   10. JDJoey Diaz1:02

       Bro, when I was a kid, I grew up in that bookmaking shit and there were certain bookmakers that wouldn't talk in a room if there was a phone in the room.

   11. JRJoe Rogan1:10

       Smart ones.

   12. JDJoey Diaz1:11

       In the '70s.

   13. JRJoe Rogan1:12

       Yeah.

   14. JDJoey Diaz1:12

       They would not talk, not on the phone, but if there was a phone in the room, they would leave the room.

   15. JRJoe Rogan1:18

       Yeah.

   16. JDJoey Diaz1:19

       That's how used to ... And I used to go, "These guys are super paranoid." They were 30 years ahead of their time.

2. 1:23 – 5:12

   Mob-era wiretaps and Vegas lore: parabolic mics, cameras, and who really runs construction

   1. JRJoe Rogan1:23

      Well, you remember how they got Vince in the chin. They started bugging cars along the way where he would walk. He would walk with his bathrobe like he was crazy and he would give everybody instructions. And he would do it on his walk so he couldn't get bugged anywhere. So they started bugging the cars along his walk route. That's how they got him.

   2. JDJoey Diaz1:39

      And they get you at the mic?

   3. JRJoe Rogan1:41

      Yeah.

   4. JDJoey Diaz1:42

      With the bu- bu- blind- The same microphone they use in the NFL when you hear all those tackles and gr- grunts. In the old days, they had a, I don't know what it ... The parabolic mic takes vibrations from glass.

   5. JRJoe Rogan1:54

      Yeah.

   6. JDJoey Diaz1:55

      So I could just point this laser at your glass with speakers on and it'll take whatever you're saying in a room and bounce it off the glass.

   7. JRJoe Rogan2:03

      I've heard it. There's a recording of it. Yeah.

   8. JDJoey Diaz2:04

      This was in the fucking '80s, so by now, it's world c- class.

   9. JRJoe Rogan2:08

      Yeah. They can do ... Well, they're listening to everything.

   10. JDJoey Diaz2:10

       Everything.

   11. JRJoe Rogan2:10

       Anything, anything and everything.

   12. JDJoey Diaz2:12

       When I go in the p- bathroom on a plane, you have to assume they're watching you. Like I used to go in there and do, blast a Coke. I would always pull my pants down, (imitates flatulence) , go through the whole process like I was shitting. I wasn't really shitting. I just always thought there was a camera there.

   13. JRJoe Rogan2:28

       Well, you're probably correct.

   14. JDJoey Diaz2:30

       I've heard things that are just horrid about Vegas in the '80s, how they had cameras in rooms and-

   15. JRJoe Rogan2:36

       Well, Vegas in the '80s was all mob runs too.

   16. JDJoey Diaz2:38

       Vegas, in the bathrooms, have cameras, so as soon as you do a blast, you come out, within 10 minutes, the cops are on you.

   17. JRJoe Rogan2:45

       When did they, um, when did the mob, like, officially get out of Vegas? Like what's-

   18. JDJoey Diaz2:50

       The mob is still in Vegas, just-

   19. JRJoe Rogan2:52

       You think so?

   20. JDJoey Diaz2:52

       ... in short spurts. It's crazy. I was in New York last week-

   21. JRJoe Rogan2:56

       The mob.

   22. JDJoey Diaz2:56

       ... and I realized how much construction was going on. And I thought to myself, "How much of that is the mob still getting?" They had a tax for years, 2%. So if it's a $300 million job, do the math on that. You make a big chunk on that. (coughs) The construc- You know, Trump didn't get rich because the construction business is huge. And you go to New York n- You know, uh ... I don't, I can't give you accurate numbers, 'cause I don't know what the numbers are. But look what the average is for a square foot of concrete in New York and look what the average is in Iowa.

   23. JRJoe Rogan3:33

       I was reading something about that.

   24. JDJoey Diaz3:35

       The square foot of con- t- to build a building in New York-

   25. JRJoe Rogan3:38

       It's insane.

   26. JDJoey Diaz3:39

       ... the concrete is fucking insane, because-

   27. JRJoe Rogan3:41

       So much money.

   28. JDJoey Diaz3:41

       ... so many hands are getting fucking greased. You know, you don't pay a job. Okay? So, so you don't pay. It's like that one episode of The Sopranos. "So what I do is break your balls. You're a GC, you don't want to pay me my money. That's fine. I send somebody from the union down there. And instead of me doing this, 'Come on through,' I gotta stop you. I gotta take your book, I gotta call the union to see if you paid up with your dues. We check your tire pressure. We count the load. Let's count the windows on the truck. Pretty soon, you got 30 trucks backed up and you're not making any money." That's how they'd shake you down. That's the shakedown.

   29. JRJoe Rogan4:19

       Mm.

   30. JDJoey Diaz4:19

       "Oh, you paying me? Okay. The trucks go through. Don't worry what, what's on them. We don't care who the driver is. We don't care if he's union or non-union." It's such a dirty business at that level. That's the shakedown.
3. 5:12 – 7:24

   Construction culture and gender dynamics: rough crews, unions, and competence

   1. JRJoe Rogan5:12

      You know what I noticed when I was a kid when I was working construction? One of the first things I noticed. It's one of the wei- weird businesses that's run almost exclusively by men, like manly men. Like the construction guys were burly dudes with big fucking hands. They worked hard and they were like ... These were like rough guys, but they were running a big business. It's like all these other businesses, if you think about businesses, you think about, like, computers. You don't think about, like, rugged, burly guys. But computers and construction are just as common. Like everybody needs a computer, everybody needs a house. Like construction's everywhere. It's a gigantic business and it's run (laughs) at least in, back in Boston when I was working as a laborer, it was run by these big savages. They're fucking big dangerous guys.

   2. JDJoey Diaz6:04

      But it's gotten more diverse now because the unions have made you hire more women.

   3. JRJoe Rogan6:08

      Mm.

   4. JDJoey Diaz6:09

      When I was an electrician, like-Three months in, there was a female supervisor who knew her shit.

   5. JRJoe Rogan6:16

      Mm-hmm.

   6. JDJoey Diaz6:16

      Her dad, you know-

   7. JRJoe Rogan6:17

      Right.

   8. JDJoey Diaz6:18

      ... her dad was an electrician, and when she was a kid, that was the fucking day job. And men had a tough time working for her. I clicked with her, she was easy. She would leave me the fuck alone.

   9. JRJoe Rogan6:30

      Well, sometimes men can't... They just have a real hard time with a woman telling them what to do.

   10. JDJoey Diaz6:33

       Yeah, they would have a hard time. Me, I didn't, I didn't mind it at all. I didn't give a fuck, I liked her.

   11. JRJoe Rogan6:37

       If someone's great at their job, they're great at their job.

   12. JDJoey Diaz6:40

       They're great at their job.

   13. JRJoe Rogan6:41

       You just gotta-

   14. JDJoey Diaz6:41

       I don't give a fuck what their gender is-

   15. JRJoe Rogan6:43

       Yeah. That's a-

   16. JDJoey Diaz6:43

       ... or what-

   17. JRJoe Rogan6:43

       ... weird thing that a lot of guys have, right?

   18. JDJoey Diaz6:46

       You know, female trainers-

   19. JRJoe Rogan6:47

       For good reason or for bad.

   20. JDJoey Diaz6:48

       ... female trainers.

   21. JRJoe Rogan6:49

       Yeah, yeah.

   22. JDJoey Diaz6:50

       A lot of people won't go for that, you know?

   23. JRJoe Rogan6:51

       You know who's got a female trainer? Yoel Romero. One of the (laughs) best motherfuckers of all time.

   24. JDJoey Diaz6:57

       What is she training with?

   25. JRJoe Rogan6:58

       I don't know, man. It's f- strength and conditioning. She was strength and conditioning training him in this, uh, video I was watching. Busting his ass.

   26. JDJoey Diaz7:04

       Well, even like, uh-

   27. JRJoe Rogan7:05

       That guy's super savage, you know?

   28. JDJoey Diaz7:07

       Yeah.

   29. JRJoe Rogan7:07

       And make sure I'm right about that. Make sure I'm right about that. 'Cause if it's not Yoel, it's someone equally savage. Someone who's just a fucking (laughs) super alpha. I mean, no one's a super alpha like Yoel. When we had him in the podcast, I was looking at (laughs) him sitting there. I was like, "This guy is built... It's not even a real person."

4. 7:24 – 12:06

   MMA freak athletes and career windows: Cuba’s pipeline, longevity, and damage

   1. JDJoey Diaz7:24

      It took me 12 hours-

   2. JRJoe Rogan7:25

      He's so jacked.

   3. JDJoey Diaz7:25

      ... to get over him. I remember that night, we both had spots at the store. (slaps) And I pulled you aside and I go-

   4. JRJoe Rogan7:31

      Oh.

   5. JDJoey Diaz7:31

      ... "What do you really think?"

   6. JRJoe Rogan7:32

      (laughs)

   7. JDJoey Diaz7:33

      "What do you really think? I mean, is this guy-"

   8. JRJoe Rogan7:36

      Oh, my God.

   9. JDJoey Diaz7:36

      "... shooting D-ball or is this something that just-"

   10. JRJoe Rogan7:38

       I think it's genetics.

   11. JDJoey Diaz7:39

       "... is just something, you know?"

   12. JRJoe Rogan7:41

       I think he has super freak genetics.

   13. JDJoey Diaz7:42

       Well, when we went to eat at... I went to New York last week, I purposely went to La Sorrentina. It's a restaurant in North Bergene run by this dude named Jocko. Jesus Christ, his spaghetti with the tiny meatballs, I couldn't even finish it. But one of his waiters was a wrestler.

   14. JRJoe Rogan7:58

       Oh.

   15. JDJoey Diaz7:58

       Came over in a ref, listened to the podcast, and he was saying how he wasn't that good. He was on the bottom floor. He ate the scraps.

   16. JRJoe Rogan8:07

       Ah.

   17. JDJoey Diaz8:08

       And he... But he goes, "Yeah, I know Yoel from back there just last week."

   18. JRJoe Rogan8:12

       Think about the other super athletes that have come out of Cuba that have gotten into MMA and boxing. Okay. Hector Lombard, dude. A lot of people, they might look at Hector Lombard because of some of his tough fights that he had in the UFC later in his career, but if you go back and watch Hector Lombard when he was running shit in Bellator, those were probably his prime years. He was the champion at Bellator. I mean, fucking smashing people, smashing people at 185 pounds. And then he came over to the UFC, he fought 185, but there's a big ass 185s in the UFC, man. I mean, Hector is... What do you think he's, five, nine?

   19. JDJoey Diaz8:53

       Six.

   20. JRJoe Rogan8:53

       Really? No.

   21. JDJoey Diaz8:54

       No, he's not that small.

   22. JRJoe Rogan8:55

       No. I think he's-

   23. JDJoey Diaz8:57

       He looks smaller.

   24. JRJoe Rogan8:57

       I think he's either my height or... I'm 5'8", he's either my height or he's an inch taller. But he's just so jacked. (laughs) When he was, when he was smashing people, like, early in his career, man, I always wanted to get him in the UFC. I was like, "This guy needs to come over." He's, he's so athletic, man. He would sw- And he's a judo player. I mean, look how (laughs) fucking jacked Hector is. He's a, you know... He was a judo pa- player for Cuba. But I'm telling you, man, d- you could take all the steroids in the world, you're not gonna move like this guy moves. Josh Lumbar, uh, uh, Josh Barnett, rather, told me that, uh, Hector Lombard, when he went to the gym, could just do muscle up after muscle up. He never even trained it before. His height, Jamie will tell you, it's fucking hard to do a muscle up. He just grabs that bar, "Ah, ah, ah." He's a super athlete. He's just had a lot of really, really rough fights against the best fighters in the world. And I, I really think that some of his best fights... You could say, like, maybe he was tested more, and I think he certainly was tested more here in, uh, the UFC than he was in Bellator. Certainly, the caliber of competition is f- far greater. But I also think, you know, fighters have, like, a window of opportunity for the most part, for most of them. There's exceptions where they can extend that window, but that window, the, the, the experts seem to think the window's around nine years. This is not a number that I invented.

   25. JDJoey Diaz10:19

       I don't think so.

   26. JRJoe Rogan10:20

       But I, it's a number that I agree with. In terms of, like, the best you have, you might be able to do it for nine years.

   27. JDJoey Diaz10:25

       Okay.

   28. JRJoe Rogan10:25

       Like Fedor.

   29. JDJoey Diaz10:26

       The, the, the longevity of an NFL running back is three and a half years, which blew my mind.

   30. JRJoe Rogan10:32

       That's crazy.
5. 12:06 – 17:51

   Concussions, wars, and fight trauma: when athletes are never the same

   1. JRJoe Rogan12:06

      soon and they're still hurting, you know, from, from a fight, like, a really bad knockout.... or, uh, just sometimes even just getting beaten up is wor- you know, like, even if you don't get stopped, like, you incur more damage that way, you know, for a ... in a long-ass fight than you would in a quick KO. You know? Like, um, in Glory, you know Joseph Valtelline? Do you real- know who that guy is?

   2. JDJoey Diaz12:28

      Yes, I know the name.

   3. JRJoe Rogan12:29

      Bazooka Joe? He was their champion and he won the title against Mark De Mont. After the fight, he couldn't fight again 'cause his concussions were so bad. He couldn't look at, uh, the light from, uh, an iPhone charger. Like, a, a, a laptop charger, that li- little light from that thing would, would be blinding to him. He had to be, like, in a dark room for three weeks. CBD oil brought him out of it.

   4. JDJoey Diaz12:50

      When I think of fighters and what happens during a fight, I go back all the way to Bernard Hopkins against Felix Trinidad because you brought it up to my attention. I never even knew about that world.

   5. JRJoe Rogan13:03

      Ooh.

   6. JDJoey Diaz13:04

      He never came back the same fighter.

   7. JRJoe Rogan13:05

      Never was the same.

   8. JDJoey Diaz13:07

      Uh, who's the guy that went the distance that's now in Bellator? Fights out of, uh, GSP's camp. Really tough guy and went five rounds with fucking what's his name and, and, and... Rory McDonald.

   9. JRJoe Rogan13:23

      Rory, yes.

   10. JDJoey Diaz13:23

       Rory, after that fight that he had, he was never really the same type of-

   11. JRJoe Rogan13:27

       The Robbie Lawler fight?

   12. JDJoey Diaz13:28

       ... fighter that Robbie Lawler fight. Fights affect you in different ways. The beating you take affects you in different ways. I wanna see what the kid that Edson Barboza fights with next time, how he comes out. He took a ferocious beating against Ed- Edgar, Edson-

   13. JRJoe Rogan13:45

       Yeah.

   14. JDJoey Diaz13:46

       ... that last fight before Al Iaquinta and Kevin Lee.

   15. JRJoe Rogan13:49

       See, but Rory, I gotta disagree because after that fight, he looked fucking phenomenal in Bellator. In his first f- who was his first fight in Ben- Bellator? Was it Paul Daley? He, he fought, um-

   16. JDJoey Diaz14:01

       But then the next fight, he didn't do well.

   17. JRJoe Rogan14:02

       Lima's a beast, though, dude.

   18. JDJoey Diaz14:04

       Yeah.

   19. JRJoe Rogan14:04

       He fought Lima.

   20. JDJoey Diaz14:05

       Lima's a beast. Lima made him look too good.

   21. JRJoe Rogan14:06

       Lima's a monster, man. Douglas Lima is a fucking straight-up killer.

   22. JDJoey Diaz14:09

       You know, and in comedy, sometimes-

   23. JRJoe Rogan14:11

       Was it Paul Daley? Yeah.

   24. JDJoey Diaz14:12

       Yeah, yeah.

   25. JRJoe Rogan14:12

       So he manhandled Paul Daly.

   26. JDJoey Diaz14:14

       Right.

   27. JRJoe Rogan14:14

       It was a very smart fight because he fought really well on his feet first, threatened Daly a little bit on his feet, and then took him down and dominated him on the ground. And it was, uh, it was a, it was a very impressive win. But then he fought... See, fighting Mousasi, I think, was probably not the w- but, you know, you never know. You know, you gotta test yourself and there's only one way to do that, and he knows better than anybody. I mean, the guy's in it to test himself. Now he knows that he can't beat Mousasi, at least at this point in his life. Yeah, but he's a smart kid, man. He's, he's an animal, too. I mean, that guy is so focused.

   28. JDJoey Diaz14:45

       No, I'm not saying anything. I just thought that a lot of times after battles, people don't come back the same.

   29. JRJoe Rogan14:52

       I agree on some of them, but I don't th-

   30. JDJoey Diaz14:54

       Uh, the guy from-
6. 17:51 – 25:42

   Joey’s office: high-THC weed, old strains, Narcos, and late-night vinyl rituals

   1. JRJoe Rogan17:51

      This is in, in... Just as a, uh, for people that don't know the numbers, let's find out what the numbers actually are. Like, what was per- what percentage THC was marijuana in the 1970s? I wanna say it was, like, eight to ten.

   2. JDJoey Diaz18:08

      Probably. And then we-

   3. JRJoe Rogan18:09

      I'm just guessing, right?

   4. JDJoey Diaz18:10

      It's so funny how... Okay.

   5. JRJoe Rogan18:12

      Let's find out what that is.

   6. JDJoey Diaz18:12

      I, I grew up in, I grew up in New York, New Jersey. So I would go to Harlem-And what we had available to us was, uh, Panama Red, Colombian Gold. I could be verse of verse... I could be wrong on the names. And then you had, from Jamaica, you had this weed called lamb's bread. And then all of a sudden in the '80s, this green weed came along, and they called it sinsemilla. So I was copping 148th Street then, and he would either sell you Chocolate Thai, which is lamb's bread, or he would sell you sinsemilla, or, or he would put them together and call it the master mix.

   7. JRJoe Rogan18:50

      (laughs)

   8. JDJoey Diaz18:50

      And, and if you bought 10 bags of the master mix, you got one for free. He gave you a punch card.

   9. JRJoe Rogan18:55

      (laughs)

   10. JDJoey Diaz18:55

       This is why Narcos: Mex-

   11. JRJoe Rogan18:57

       He gave you a real punch card?

   12. JDJoey Diaz18:58

       Yeah. In 19 fucking 82, 83.

   13. JRJoe Rogan19:01

       That's hilarious.

   14. JDJoey Diaz19:02

       The guy was in the middle of the corner, hanging out. And the funny thing was, I went back in '85 and he looked me straight in the face and he's like, "There ain't no motherfucking weed on this block no more, dog. Crack." Like, it had just converted to crack. But this is why watching... I told you that watching that Narcos: Mexico, those first two episodes are so important because it's like, it's like sometimes when you watch a TV show, it's really hard to believe that one day some Spanish guy that couldn't even speak English said, "Hey, how come there's not three cameras here?" His name was fucking Luc... Desi Arnaz. Desi Arnaz invented the three, three-camera shoot. Did you know that?

   15. JRJoe Rogan19:39

       That's hilarious.

   16. JDJoey Diaz19:40

       That Desilu Productions, all that shit. It's, it's-

   17. JRJoe Rogan19:42

       He invented that?

   18. JDJoey Diaz19:43

       He's the one that said, "Why is it two... eight white people sitting around? Get two more cameras. Let's go. Andale."

   19. JRJoe Rogan19:50

       Oh.

   20. JDJoey Diaz19:51

       The guy that... Uh, the principal guy in Narcos this year is a character who grew weed in the desert. I want you to think about that. It had never been even thought of before. But by doing that, I don't know the science, so please, Joe Rogan people, don't torture me. He eliminated the male plant to make the female stronger. The only way you could grow that is in the desert. So he found water in the desert.

   21. JRJoe Rogan20:16

       Why is it the only way you can go grow it in the desert? Something about the, uh, climate?

   22. JDJoey Diaz20:21

       Uh, the... To, to, to ref- so that... It's like the Immaculate Conception.

   23. JRJoe Rogan20:26

       Whoa.

   24. JDJoey Diaz20:26

       You get pregnant without getting pregnant, so you eliminate the male plant or something. I do not know this.

   25. JRJoe Rogan20:31

       We gotta hide this information from women.

   26. JDJoey Diaz20:32

       You have to watch it.

   27. JVJamie Vernon20:34

       (laughs)

   28. JDJoey Diaz20:34

       And, and-

   29. JRJoe Rogan20:34

       Right? We have to hide this information from women.

   30. JDJoey Diaz20:36

       So there's no seeds-
7. 25:42 – 30:32

   Analog tech nostalgia (and horror): reel-to-reel audio, early porn projectors, and teen memories

   1. JDJoey Diaz25:42

      ... that had a reel-to-reel. I thought he was god.

   2. JRJoe Rogan25:43

      Jimmy, do you actually remember this?

   3. JVJamie Vernon25:45

      Yeah, I mean, I, (clears throat) I had a record player at my house, for sure.

   4. JRJoe Rogan25:48

      Wow. You had a reel-to-reel?

   5. JDJoey Diaz25:50

      A friend of mine had a reel-to-reel in high school.

   6. JRJoe Rogan25:52

      Oh my God.

   7. JDJoey Diaz25:53

      And the sound. He bought the speakers and everything. And the sound, you could hear like the, the musician pulling away from the microphone, like the sound was that good.

   8. JRJoe Rogan26:04

      So when... So when he's playing this reel-to-reel, he's got like a, like a projector screen type deal? He puts the sound through it?

   9. JDJoey Diaz26:09

      No, he was hav- he had a room like this, and, uh, he had a shelf, and on the shelf he had speakers, and he had a reel-to-reel. And-

   10. JRJoe Rogan26:17

       I think I've seen that for forever.

   11. JDJoey Diaz26:19

       And it would, he would connect it, and it would have two or three hours of music on it. So whenever he would have a party, he would just put on the reel-to-reel.

   12. JRJoe Rogan26:27

       Wow.

   13. JDJoey Diaz26:28

       At that time, that was the threat. That it's going to reel-to-reel.

   14. JRJoe Rogan26:31

       What does that look like? That's what I'm talking about.

   15. JDJoey Diaz26:32

       That's what it looked like.

   16. JRJoe Rogan26:33

       It looks like a projector, right?

   17. JDJoey Diaz26:34

       It's going to reel-to-reel.

   18. JRJoe Rogan26:35

       Fuck.

   19. JDJoey Diaz26:35

       That's the new threat.

   20. JRJoe Rogan26:37

       That's crazy.

   21. JDJoey Diaz26:37

       That never made it. It, then it went from, it went from albums to cassettes to fucking CDs.

   22. JRJoe Rogan26:46

       So if you put something through that, you would have to kind of, like, do it like you were working in a projection room? You take the-

   23. JVJamie Vernon26:52

       Yeah, it's just magnetic tape.

   24. JDJoey Diaz26:52

       ... film from one of 'em, and you-

   25. JVJamie Vernon26:53

       It, it works almost... It's, he's just really large cassette tape player.

   26. JRJoe Rogan26:57

       Okay.

   27. JDJoey Diaz26:57

       I just forget how you put the music on there. I forget how he put the music on there.

   28. JRJoe Rogan27:01

       Could you buy music on it?

   29. JDJoey Diaz27:03

       I think so at that time.

   30. JVJamie Vernon27:03

       There's a record button on this too, it looks like. So you could have recorded something on there if you had a cable to, to plug it into it.
8. 30:32 – 37:08

   Parenting, sex panic, and Joey’s childhood: “leave the door open” and neighborhood drama

   1. JRJoe Rogan30:32

      Don't you think moms today probably wouldn't even flinch?

   2. JDJoey Diaz30:36

      What if what?

   3. JRJoe Rogan30:37

      If they found their kid with something like that on his computer?

   4. JDJoey Diaz30:39

      Are you fucking kidding me? Every mom, they'll ... Any ... You talk to any mom of a 15-year-old-

   5. JRJoe Rogan30:45

      (laughs)

   6. JDJoey Diaz30:45

      ... and go, "Do you think your son's getting laid?" She's like, "Stop it. I don't want to hear that."

   7. JRJoe Rogan30:48

      It's true.

   8. JDJoey Diaz30:49

      No mom wants to hear their son getting laid. The first girl you brought over to the house actually bothered your mother.

   9. JRJoe Rogan30:57

      Oh, I'm sure.

   10. JDJoey Diaz30:58

       The first two girls you brought home actually bothered and irritated the shit out of your mother. It took your mom a while, because you're always gonna be that little boy. "I can't imagine him getting his dick sucked."

   11. JRJoe Rogan31:10

       (laughs)

   12. JDJoey Diaz31:10

       "He just, I just put diapers on him 10 years ago."

   13. JRJoe Rogan31:13

       You know what else they worry about? They worry about you getting somebody pregnant 'cause you're so stupid. When you're 15, 16, 17, you guys are just doing stupid shit. You know? You don't really know how to pull out that good. How good are you at that? (laughs) Not very good.

   14. JDJoey Diaz31:30

       I don't-

   15. JRJoe Rogan31:30

       You know? When you were that young, I mean, it's ... your parents are worried about you doing something dumb. Your parents are worried about you getting pregnant, but they also don't want you having sex.

   16. JDJoey Diaz31:42

       I had this skinny girlfriend. Like I- I always had, uh, f- girls that were friends. And, and after the girls would leave, my mom would pull me aside and say, "What's going on?" And I'd go, "Nothing, you know, she's just a friend." And I would steam out of the house, "I can't believe it." You know, and they were friends. But there was this one skinny girl that I used to bring over in the seventh grade and my mother caught us one afternoon, like she caught us making out. So she asked me, as a man, she goes, "From now on, do me a fucking favor. If she's here and I'm downstairs, just leave the door open." My mom was one of those, Doug. She was one of those. "Just do me a favor.

   17. JRJoe Rogan32:19

       Uh-

   18. JDJoey Diaz32:19

       "Just for me to be (inaudible) . When I leave, lock the door. But if I'm here, just leave the door open." And I would leave it open a foot and then try to eight inch it, six inch it, and she would have to come up and say, "Oh, Santonio, what did I tell you?

   19. JRJoe Rogan32:34

       (laughs)

   20. JDJoey Diaz32:35

       "Leave the fucking door open." And then you, you're an animal at that age. So at that age you finally taught (murmuring) ... 'em, because all I was doing was dry humping this girl. That's all I was doing. We weren't having sex. I think I sucked her tits one time.

   21. JRJoe Rogan32:47

       (laughs)

   22. JDJoey Diaz32:48

       You know, we weren't having sex, we were just making out and dry humping. But one day I had a ... my mom had the bar stool, and she would just fucking come home in the afternoons to see if I was with this broad. And one day I didn't hear her and she brought one of her friends up with me, one of her friends with her. And I'm in there just swapping spit with the chick, but I hear something on the wall, like something's going on. But I kept dry humping her. We had Earth, Wind & Fire on-

   23. JRJoe Rogan33:16

       (laughs)

   24. JDJoey Diaz33:17

       ... Can't Hide Love, great fucking album off That's The Way Of The World. I'm dry humping this chick to that. And all of a sudden I hear a ladder slip and a guy starts yelling, "Ah, ah." And I ran downstairs and it was my, one of my mother's friends, Arnardo, he used to be a bookie at my mother's bar. So my mother goes, "I gotta get to the bottom of this, I gotta know if this kid's getting laid."

   25. JRJoe Rogan33:43

       (laughs)

   26. JDJoey Diaz33:43

       So he volunteers to put the ladder-

   27. JRJoe Rogan33:45

       (laughs)

   28. JDJoey Diaz33:45

       ... at the side (laughs) of the house-

   29. JRJoe Rogan33:47

       (laughs)

   30. JDJoey Diaz33:48

       ... to see if I'm getting laid, to look in the window.
9. 37:08 – 52:01

   No privacy and too much input: social media boundaries, 24/7 news, and negativity loops

   1. JRJoe Rogan37:08

      The world is not the same now, and it's not gonna be the same when they're older. It's getting weirder and weirder. You know, people are getting ... You know, we were talking earlier about bugs and searches and people being able to turn your microphones on. It is a matter of time before there's no privacy. Whether it's 50 years, whether it's 100 years. And I mean, I'm, I think there's gonna be no privacy with anything. I don't think ... With your thoughts, I think we're gonna f- ... There's, the next thing after cell phones is gonna be something that allows us to communicate w- way easier. They're gonna, there's gonna, within the next 50 years, they're gonna come up with some way where we're gonna be able to all communicate through a device that is gonna be better than just talking. We're gonna, we're gonna share thoughts. It's gonna get really fucking strange. I'm 100% convinced. I think all this stuff is just getting ... Everything accelerates, right? It used to be really hard to get ahold of somebody, now it's really easy to get ahold of somebody and now you're, you're gonna ... People have figured out ways to turn people's microphones on and record them and turn ... People are just putting tape over their, uh, their webcam. "I don't want anybody looking while I'm jerking off." Like, th- they think someone's gonna look through from the other side. They probably can. It's gonna be a matter of time before everybody can, with everybody, with everything you do. There's gonna be, there's gonna be all, all information available to everybody 'cause this is gonna happen. We're so far away from where we were in the '70s. We're so far away.

   2. JDJoey Diaz38:36

      So far away.

   3. JRJoe Rogan38:37

      So far away, and that was our lifetime. We can remember the '70s, you know? 1973, I was six years old, okay? I remember that.

   4. JDJoey Diaz38:45

      I was 10.

   5. JRJoe Rogan38:45

      I remember, I remember the Vietnam War. I remember when the war ended, thinking when I was a little kid, "This is great that the war is over, 'cause now they know that war is bad and they won't do any war anymore. The war is over. It's gone." And then when the war started up again when I was, I think I was 21 when Desert Storm kicked in, I was like, "Holy shit, they're doing it again." Me and my friend, Jimmy Detillio, we had an apartment in, I think it was, fucking, where were we? Malden or some shit? I forget where the fuck we were. Waltham, that's where we were. We were in Waltham. We had this fucking apartment and, uh, we were sitting there on TV, we were just sit- sitting in front of the living room, I didn't think we had a couch. We were just sitting there in the living room watching these fucking missiles flying through the air and I'll never forget, he goes, "Buddy, looks like we're at war." And I was like, "What? How the f-" And we were both sitting there going, "What? How the fuck? We're at war? I thought we didn't do that anymore." I remember that. I remember that whole, I mean, that time when, when that was how you got information from the TV is so far removed from today. Today, everything that happens all the time is coming at you 100 miles an hour from every direction. There's just too much to keep up with.

   6. JDJoey Diaz40:04

      You have to, you have to control it, though. You have to control it. You still have to have a life. You still, you know, I don't have Facebook on my phone. I have my, uh, email account. I try to keep Twitter off my phone. When I go on the road, the iPad has no Twitter and no Facebook. It's too much. It's too much and it interferes with who we are. And if you haven't caught that by now, you're not catching this. You know, I'll open up my Twitter on a Saturday just to see who's tweeting, thinking to myself, "What are you doing with your fucking life-

   7. JRJoe Rogan40:41

      (laughs)

   8. JDJoey Diaz40:42

      ... that you're tweeting on Friday and fucking Saturday and Sunday?" You know?

   9. JRJoe Rogan40:48

      It becomes a little game, man.

   10. JDJoey Diaz40:49

       It's- it's a little game. You have to give it a breather. You have to, you ... It's too much news coming at you. From 2:02 on, on your satellite disk, it's-

   11. JRJoe Rogan41:00

       It's, you know what the other thing is it?

   12. JDJoey Diaz41:01

       It's too much news, from sports to world news, you got HLN, CNN, and then ESPN all in a fucking row. It's too fast, it's too quick. Last week when I was home, my buddy, uh, is a cab driver. I- I took six Ubers on Monday in New York. Tuesday, I just wanted to take a cab. I took my wife to get some real pizza at Roma Pizza. The guy that was making pizza there was still there when I was a kid. I drove by one day and I go, "Are you still in there?" So we took a fucking cab. On the cab, this guy that drove me is a friend of mine. We grew up together since we were 12 and we were talking, I go, "That's the firs- first gas station I robbed." And then he goes, "Remember when we were 12 and we were walking home the night Freddie Prinze got killed?"

   13. JRJoe Rogan41:52

       Wow.

   14. JDJoey Diaz41:52

       Freddie Prinze had killed himself the night before.

   15. JRJoe Rogan41:56

       Yeah.

   16. JDJoey Diaz41:56

       We didn't find out until that 6:00 news. Do you know what I'm saying?

   17. JRJoe Rogan42:01

       Yeah.

   18. JDJoey Diaz42:01

       Like, that was the gap in time.

   19. JRJoe Rogan42:03

       Mm-hmm.

   20. JDJoey Diaz42:04

       So you got your news t- and even though that was New York, it was the city capital, who watched TV in the morning? Maybe they mentioned it in the morning. Reports out of LA, Freddie Prinze is in the hospital.

   21. JRJoe Rogan42:17

       Yeah, but you never saw it.

   22. JDJoey Diaz42:19

       But, no, I s- I remember us being out and them saying, "Freddie Prinze died. He shot himself last night." And I still remember how cold it was. It was January or February, it was fucking freezing. But we were walking home, we were 12, and what do we see in front of us but a b- a guy passed out drunk.... just hammered, drunk on the floor. So we're like, "Hold on, let's get the money out of his pocket. You take the bottle." And it was, like, a bottle of, like, Dewars or whatever. So our plan was to take a bottle and shake a bum. What, what's it called? You roll a bum?

   23. JRJoe Rogan42:55

       Yeah.

   24. JDJoey Diaz42:56

       And we put our hand in his pocket and he grabbed one of us like Carrie. So the next thing, all three of us just started kicking him. (laughs)

   25. JRJoe Rogan43:03

       (laughs)

   26. JDJoey Diaz43:03

       Like, we must've kicked him 82 times. (laughs)

   27. JRJoe Rogan43:07

       Oh my gosh.

   28. JDJoey Diaz43:07

       And we ran away with the bottle. He got up and chased us.

   29. JRJoe Rogan43:10

       Oh, Jesus.

   30. JDJoey Diaz43:11

       But we knew it was quite short path through the cemetery, so we lost him.
10. 52:01 – 56:14

    Homelessness, “busing” programs, and jail as shelter: Colorado and system incentives

    1. JDJoey Diaz52:01

       Take a guess at what I did not see. Homeless people.

    2. JRJoe Rogan52:07

       Really? Maybe 'cause it's so cold.

    3. JDJoey Diaz52:11

       Uh, I was homeless for-

    4. JRJoe Rogan52:12

       December?

    5. JDJoey Diaz52:13

       ... fucking 19 days in New York in December, from December 12th to the 31st. I got a hotel room maybe 50% of the time, but beside that, I was homeless at one time in 1984. You ju-... And I asked people and you go, no, you just don't see them.

    6. JRJoe Rogan52:28

       Hm.

    7. JDJoey Diaz52:28

       I saw very small sections of, not encampments, but the homeless percent- percentage was smaller. So I asked somebody what that is, how come I have so many homeless people out here? And they said it's called, because they're liberals. I didn't fucking know that's what a liberal was. I had no idea. I just-

    8. JRJoe Rogan52:48

       You mean California's liberals?

    9. JDJoey Diaz52:49

       Yeah. I just try to be a human being. I don't know-

    10. JRJoe Rogan52:52

        (sighs) That doesn't make sense. It's like, what does that mean then? What, where do the-

    11. JDJoey Diaz52:54

        Yeah, I-

    12. JRJoe Rogan52:54

        Where do the homeless go? Do we make more of them out here? Is that what he's saying?

    13. JDJoey Diaz52:58

        Do you allow it? That, that Las Ve-... He was telling me how Las Vegas ships their homeless.

    14. JRJoe Rogan53:04

        (laughs)

    15. JDJoey Diaz53:04

        Gives them a bus to California.

    16. JRJoe Rogan53:06

        (sighs)

    17. JDJoey Diaz53:07

        And 25 bucks.

    18. JRJoe Rogan53:07

        That might be true.

    19. JVJamie Vernon53:08

        Yeah, with the ship. I feel like the shipping is both busing people to, like, Alaska for a little while or something like that.

    20. JDJoey Diaz53:13

        Yeah.

    21. JVJamie Vernon53:13

        A couple years ago, I think that still happens.

    22. JDJoey Diaz53:14

        Something like that. Something like that was going.

    23. JRJoe Rogan53:14

        Do you remember when, uh, you saw the, the TV show Wild Wild Country? Did you see that?

    24. JDJoey Diaz53:20

        No.

    25. JRJoe Rogan53:20

        (laughs) It's on the Rajneesh. Is that how you say it? Rajneesh, uh, Kalt, from Oregon. And, uh, one of the things they did to... They took over the town. One of the-

    26. JDJoey Diaz53:32

        Oh, yeah.

    27. JRJoe Rogan53:32

        They brought in-

    28. JDJoey Diaz53:33

        I heard about it, I haven't watched it.

    29. JRJoe Rogan53:34

        ... homeless people in buses and then had all those people vote. And then (laughs) they took over the fucking town. They, like, developed a, a real town and then they took over this one area. Bused Out: How America Moves Its Homeless. It's whoa.

    30. JVJamie Vernon53:49

        Yeah.
11. 56:14 – 1:01:38

    Inside jail: incentives, strip searches, ‘nice’ vs. brutal facilities, and gaming public defenders

    1. JDJoey Diaz56:14

       If right now you said to me, "You- you gotta stay in this fucking building for six months. This is gonna be your jail." This is like Pablo Escobar's jail. It's still jail. I want you to remember that.

    2. JRJoe Rogan56:28

       Right.

    3. JDJoey Diaz56:29

       You cannot leave the building for six months. I will let you go out to the front and a cage one hour a day. But you gotta figure out what you're gonna do in here for 12 months. It's a cage, yes, I have more options here. I can lift weights, I can do different parts of my body, I could shoot pool, bah-bah-bah-bah-bah-bah-bah. Boulder was very simple. Boulder, you got locked up, they gave you the linens. You either took them or you didn't. Nah, I want to get my own clothes. So you called home. At lunchtime, Joe Rogan brought me my jeans, my sneakers, my T-shirts. I'm wearing my own clothes. So now they determine what you're in for, non-violent or violent. If you're a non-violent offender, you- the world is yours.

    4. JRJoe Rogan57:15

       The violent ones are the ones that get lumped in-

    5. JDJoey Diaz57:17

       Okay, so-

    6. JRJoe Rogan57:17

       ... with the other violent ones.

    7. JDJoey Diaz57:18

       So now the violent offenders, uh, depending on what you do as violent, you go into one sector. And that sector, the longer you're in there, the more rewards you get. So if you're in green, you stay up till 10:00 and they got cable TV. If you are red, you stay up till 11:00 and they got cable TV. If you're purple, you stay up till 1:00.

    8. JRJoe Rogan57:44

       1:00 AM?

    9. JDJoey Diaz57:45

       Oh, my God. Boulder County Jail was tremendous.

    10. JRJoe Rogan57:48

        1:00 AM and TV?

    11. JDJoey Diaz57:49

        So I didn't- so I didn't-

    12. JRJoe Rogan57:49

        And cigarettes?

    13. JDJoey Diaz57:50

        ... I didn't drink milk. Milk is big in jail, because the bodybuilders like milk. It's like fucking drugs.

    14. JRJoe Rogan57:56

        Really?

    15. JDJoey Diaz57:57

        So I would trade you and you my milk for your Kool-Aid.

    16. JRJoe Rogan58:02

        (laughs)

    17. JDJoey Diaz58:02

        All right? So I was in there drinking fucking Kool-Aids and shit-

    18. JRJoe Rogan58:06

        (laughs)

    19. JDJoey Diaz58:06

        ... because I fucking hate milk. Boulder was a paradise compared to other jails. Oh, listen to this. Thanksgiving Day when I... Was I locked up Thanksgiving Day? Yeah. The guard came in, and I'll never forget, his name was Ron. And he opened up the cell door and there was a phone there. And he goes, "Anybody who needs to use the phone, use the phone." I figured out, you know, in those days you had to press 9 to get an outside line. I pressed 8 to see if I get long distance. Nothing. I pressed 7, nothing. Six, nothing. Five, nothing. Four, fucking long distance. I got to call my peeps in Jersey for 20 minutes a piece. You know, you just figure out different things. Then they send you to a place where somebody looks at you in the eye and says, "Strip down," and you gotta go take a shower. And then you come out and they put a finger up your ass to see if you got contraband.

    20. JRJoe Rogan59:02

        Hmm.

    21. JDJoey Diaz59:02

        And they, they give you tighty-whities and an orange jumpsuit.

    22. JRJoe Rogan59:05

        So they put, like, a rubber glove on and then lube their finger up?

    23. JDJoey Diaz59:08

        D- does it matter?

    24. JVJamie Vernon59:08

        Mm-hmm.

    25. JRJoe Rogan59:09

        It does.

    26. JDJoey Diaz59:09

        At that point I didn't give a fuck. You're putting a finger up my ass 'cause it, it breaks you down as a man as much as anything in the world. That- that's the first breakdown.

    27. JRJoe Rogan59:18

        Wow.

    28. JDJoey Diaz59:18

        To turn you around. To let you know they run you. They're gonna stick it up your ass. Then you go to your cell and that, those guys in there are not very nice. They weren't like the Boulder County Jail guys. Those guys would kick your bed and make you get up, turn your light on in the middle of the night, and say, "Get out of bed, we're gonna do a search," at 2:00 in the morning. Those people are not nice at all. Then I got transferred to Summit County Jail, which was a fucking paradise. Paradise. Paradise. Handball all day outside, TV till 2:00 in the morning.

    29. JRJoe Rogan59:57

        Really?

    30. JDJoey Diaz59:57

        TVs in your cell. Black and white TVs in your cell. Basic cable. You could be up all night. You could-
12. 1:01:38 – 1:19:05

    Celebrity legal chess: Weinstein strategy talk, Spacey’s Frank Underwood video, and art/insanity in acting

    1. JDJoey Diaz1:01:38

       I took care of all the, the dots. Okay? There's a bunch of dots you have to, you have to dot your Is. Like, if you have a high school diploma, you get a point. If you were working at the time of arrest, you get a point. If you were up to r- paying rent. So I got a bunch of points for that. It's so funny how... T- to talk about something very interesting, it's very interesting where this Harvey Weinstein ca- case is gonna go. It's very interesting where it's gonna go. Right now, he has Benjamin Braf as an attorney, and if you see what happened, Benjamin Braf pushed for a dismissal and he didn't get it. The tr- the tr- the lawyer set... the judge set a, a trial date. They're gonna get a trial date. Harvey Weinstein's gonna go throw more money to pay off time. Harvey's gonna go for time, then he's gonna fire Benjamin Braf and show up with two women, primarily one Black and one Asian, or one white and one Asian. And this is when this trial's gonna get very interesting. Harvey's also gonna hire millions of dollars in prosecu- uh, in, uh, private investigators. They're gonna interview boyfriends. They're gonna interview... This case is gonna be very interesting, unlike the Cosby case, where Cosby didn't really fuck anyone.

    2. JRJoe Rogan1:03:05

       How do you know he's gonna do all this stuff?

    3. JDJoey Diaz1:03:06

       Because I, I know a... this is what I would do. (laughs) I know if you come to me and you go, "I'm, I'm getting busted for this. What do I do?" I... because of m- how I grew up around those people, this is what you do. Benjamin Braf cannot ask a woman the same question a woman could ask a woman.

    4. JRJoe Rogan1:03:27

       Mm-hmm.

    5. JDJoey Diaz1:03:28

       So I'm gonna go in there with either a Black woman, an Asian woman, or a white woman. My first two choices are a Black and an Asian woman.

    6. JRJoe Rogan1:03:39

       You wanna get the diversity angle?

    7. JDJoey Diaz1:03:40

       I wanna get the diversity angle, and I wanna get that "You can't... you're saying that 'cause you're a Black woman, Chinese woman." What I'm trying to stare... have, did you-

    8. JRJoe Rogan1:03:48

       (laughs)

    9. JDJoey Diaz1:03:48

       ... did you ever really watch The People versus O.J. Simpson?

    10. JRJoe Rogan1:03:51

        No, I didn't.

    11. JDJoey Diaz1:03:52

        Very interesting, and it's, it's time that you sat down. The holidays, that thing going on.

    12. JRJoe Rogan1:03:57

        Is that the, uh, is that the FX version?

    13. JDJoey Diaz1:03:59

        Travolta. Yeah, the FX version.

    14. JRJoe Rogan1:04:00

        Yeah, I watched one episode. It seemed very good.

    15. JDJoey Diaz1:04:02

        Very interesting how he put a dream team together.

    16. JRJoe Rogan1:04:05

        How accurate is it?

    17. JDJoey Diaz1:04:05

        G, it's gonna cost you 10 mil. Listen to me, G, you got two options. You can go in there like Cosby and pay two mil and make believe you're blind, or...

    18. JRJoe Rogan1:04:14

        (laughs)

    19. JDJoey Diaz1:04:15

        ... we've put together a fucking... Did, did you see him? He went in there with that milky shit over his eyes like the guy from Kung Fu. Remember when we were kids, Kung Fu's father had like-

    20. JRJoe Rogan1:04:24

        (singing)

    21. JDJoey Diaz1:04:24

        Yeah, Kung Fu's father was, like, half-blind and shit.

    22. JRJoe Rogan1:04:27

        Yeah, I remember that. (laughs)

    23. JDJoey Diaz1:04:28

        He had that milk of Magnesia on his eye and shit. That's how Ca- Cosby went in there playing like I'm sick routine.

    24. JRJoe Rogan1:04:33

        He's got cataracts.

    25. JDJoey Diaz1:04:35

        Who?

    26. JRJoe Rogan1:04:36

        Cosby.

    27. JDJoey Diaz1:04:37

        Yeah, but, m- he didn't have cataracts when he was-

    28. JRJoe Rogan1:04:38

        Doesn't he have something like that?

    29. JDJoey Diaz1:04:40

        Not when he did-

    30. JRJoe Rogan1:04:40

        He's got something serious.

Episode duration: 2:56:57