Joe Rogan Experience #1223 - Greg Fitzsimmons

1. 0:00 – 15:00

   (knocking) Two. …

   1. NANarrator0:00

      (knocking) Two.

   2. JRJoe Rogan0:07

      That's it? Wow. A- a two count from young Jamie.

   3. NANarrator0:11

      Ah.

   4. JRJoe Rogan0:11

      (laughs)

   5. NANarrator0:11

      Messing with the buttons and hit the wrong one.

   6. JRJoe Rogan0:13

      Oh.

   7. NANarrator0:13

      Sorry.

   8. JRJoe Rogan0:13

      Gregory, how are you, fella?

   9. GFGreg Fitzsimmons0:17

      Joe Rogan, always a pleasure to be back in the ... What I love is that you kept the studio the same as the old one, 'cause the vibe was perfect.

   10. JRJoe Rogan0:25

       I tried to recreate it.

   11. GFGreg Fitzsimmons0:27

       Yeah.

   12. JRJoe Rogan0:27

       I felt like as long as we had the desk, we have the heart.

   13. GFGreg Fitzsimmons0:30

       Yep.

   14. JRJoe Rogan0:30

       We have the heart of the studio. The rest of it's just stuff.

   15. GFGreg Fitzsimmons0:33

       And Jamie, the heart.

   16. JRJoe Rogan0:34

       And Jamie.

   17. GFGreg Fitzsimmons0:35

       Fucking guy does-

   18. JRJoe Rogan0:36

       And we need, um ... There's something about, uh, I, I, I really think that when you use a desk for a long time, there's something about desks. Like if you found out like Hunter S. Thompson's desk was for sale-

   19. GFGreg Fitzsimmons0:50

       Yeah.

   20. JRJoe Rogan0:50

       ... you'd be like, "Holy shit."

   21. GFGreg Fitzsimmons0:52

       Fuck yeah.

   22. JRJoe Rogan0:52

       "I wanna get my hands on that thing."

   23. GFGreg Fitzsimmons0:54

       Yeah.

   24. JRJoe Rogan0:54

       Like that's got some ooze.

   25. GFGreg Fitzsimmons0:56

       Right.

   26. JRJoe Rogan0:56

       You know he wrote on this?

   27. GFGreg Fitzsimmons0:58

       Yeah.

   28. JRJoe Rogan0:58

       Holy shit.

   29. GFGreg Fitzsimmons0:59

       Yeah, nice old, one of those old like-

   30. JRJoe Rogan1:01

       Yeah.
2. 15:00 – 30:00

   (laughs) Dude, the talent…

   1. GFGreg Fitzsimmons15:00

      uh, he, he's ... That's an interesting family, man. They, you know, they grew up in the projects in Manhattan.

   2. JRJoe Rogan15:05

      (laughs) Dude, the talent in that family.

   3. GFGreg Fitzsimmons15:07

      Yeah.

   4. JRJoe Rogan15:07

      Keenen, Damon, Marlon, Shawn. I mean, Jesus Christ.

   5. GFGreg Fitzsimmons15:12

      Yeah.

   6. JRJoe Rogan15:13

      That's a lot of killers.

   7. GFGreg Fitzsimmons15:15

      Kim.

   8. JRJoe Rogan15:15

      And, and isn't Damon's son doing standup too now?

   9. GFGreg Fitzsimmons15:18

      Yeah.

   10. JRJoe Rogan15:18

       Dude.

   11. GFGreg Fitzsimmons15:19

       That Damon Jr., right?

   12. JRJoe Rogan15:21

       What a crazy family.

   13. GFGreg Fitzsimmons15:22

       I know.

   14. JRJoe Rogan15:24

       That's a cra- ... You better be in show business in that family, or you're doomed. (laughs)

   15. GFGreg Fitzsimmons15:28

       Yeah. I mean, think about that. It's like-

   16. JRJoe Rogan15:31

       Right? Like, if you wanna compete with your brothers. Keenen Ivory Wayans, Damon Wayans, Kim Wayans, Shawn Wayans, Marlon Wayans, Damian Dante Wayans, Damon Wayans Jr. That's all of them.

   17. GFGreg Fitzsimmons15:44

       Yeah.

   18. JRJoe Rogan15:44

       All of them in show business. It's amazing.

   19. GFGreg Fitzsimmons15:47

       Yep. Good-looking too.

   20. JRJoe Rogan15:50

       And Keenen had a fucking great talk show.

   21. GFGreg Fitzsimmons15:53

       Oh, yeah, yeah. He had great writers.

   22. JRJoe Rogan15:55

       He was really, he was really good as a talk show host.

   23. GFGreg Fitzsimmons15:56

       Yes. Yeah. He was.

   24. JRJoe Rogan15:58

       It's a talented fucking family, man.

   25. GFGreg Fitzsimmons15:59

       Yep.

   26. JRJoe Rogan16:00

       But for whatever reason, man, Damon did this one, uh, HBO special, and I think he called it His Last Stand. And, uh, it was really good, man. It was really good. At the end of it, he just throws the microphone down and says like, "This is the last time I'm doing standup."

   27. GFGreg Fitzsimmons16:16

       Oh, no shit.

   28. JRJoe Rogan16:17

       Yeah.

   29. GFGreg Fitzsimmons16:18

       Wow.

   30. JRJoe Rogan16:18

       Just like he decided he was gonna do movies. That's it. Last Stand with a question mark. You know? He got, um, you know, he just got into other stuff. But I'm telling you, man, when he was like go up and above, go that photo, the, the one ... Like, that was the stage, the beret-wearing stage. (laughs)
3. 30:00 – 45:00

   What is that one?…

   1. GFGreg Fitzsimmons30:00

      They had like ... They had one that had like a chocolate filling in it and it was-

   2. JRJoe Rogan30:03

      What is that one?

   3. NANarrator30:04

      I don't know.

   4. GFGreg Fitzsimmons30:04

      ... powdered outside.

   5. JRJoe Rogan30:05

      Cheese-filled crumb.

   6. NANarrator30:06

      I'll take a guess. No.

   7. JRJoe Rogan30:07

      Might've been that. I don't think so.

   8. GFGreg Fitzsimmons30:08

      They went outta business and then they saved them.

   9. JRJoe Rogan30:09

      Oh, that was the cheese one. That was a good one too. I remember the cheese-filled crumb. That was br- ... They had some ridiculously delicious shit.

   10. GFGreg Fitzsimmons30:18

       Yeah. What are the other big ones?

   11. JRJoe Rogan30:20

       You know, I decided to fight in a tournament once because, uh, I had a crazy sugar high from Dunkin' Donuts. I'd hurt myself. I'd hurt, um, something in my crotch and I couldn't work out for like a week.

   12. GFGreg Fitzsimmons30:33

       Yeah.

   13. JRJoe Rogan30:33

       I pulled some sort of a muscle and there was a big tournament that was coming up.And, uh, my- all the guys that I competed with were going to this tournament. And I was like ... I had just fought, like, a week before. I was like, "I don't think I can do it." I'm like, "This doesn't feel right. I'm just gonna take the whole week off." So I decided I'm just gonna take off, let this thing heal. And so, uh, delivering my newspapers and I go to Dunkin Donuts and I got this powdered lemon filled donut. I got one of those and I got a- a Boston cream donut.

   14. GFGreg Fitzsimmons31:01

       Yeah.

   15. JRJoe Rogan31:01

       I got one of those and I got, uh ... I ate, like, three donuts because I'd be exhausted, tired, drinking coffee, delivering fucking newspapers for three hours. And I was so jacked on sugar and coffee that I said, "Fuck it, I wanna fight."

   16. GFGreg Fitzsimmons31:17

       (laughs)

   17. JRJoe Rogan31:17

       And so I- I- I drove, I drove into town, like, right before everybody was leaving. They're like, "Why are you here?" I said, "I'm gonna fight anyway, man."

   18. GFGreg Fitzsimmons31:26

       (laughs) Like Beavis and Butt-Head.

   19. JRJoe Rogan31:29

       I- I won. I won the tournament.

   20. GFGreg Fitzsimmons31:30

       Yeah.

   21. JRJoe Rogan31:30

       It was a- a giant tournament. For me, it was big. It was the American Open, it was like a big ... It was a big deal.

   22. GFGreg Fitzsimmons31:37

       Wow.

   23. JRJoe Rogan31:37

       Yeah. I wasn't gonna do it. I got jacked up on sugar and made a- a- a rash decision. (laughs)

   24. GFGreg Fitzsimmons31:43

       I can see you winning the first match, but then- but then- but then you crash.

   25. JRJoe Rogan31:46

       No.

   26. GFGreg Fitzsimmons31:46

       Then you gotta keep fighting.

   27. JRJoe Rogan31:48

       No, it didn't ... It worked out somehow or another. I guess I ate when I got there too.

   28. GFGreg Fitzsimmons31:52

       Yeah.

   29. JRJoe Rogan31:52

       But also, the week off. I'd never done that, like, taking a week off. Sometimes when you do something like that, where you- if you- you exercise too much, you're really always in a state of recovery.

   30. GFGreg Fitzsimmons32:03

       Yeah.
4. 45:00 – 1:00:00

   Yeah. …

   1. JRJoe Rogan45:00

      doing spin classes, and- and they have trainers.

   2. GFGreg Fitzsimmons45:02

      Yeah.

   3. JRJoe Rogan45:02

      They're doing these box jumps and shit. Like, girls are built now, it's a different thing.

   4. GFGreg Fitzsimmons45:07

      Yeah.

   5. JRJoe Rogan45:07

      If you go look at, like, King Kong, look at, like, Fay Wray in King Kong.

   6. GFGreg Fitzsimmons45:11

      Which is soft.

   7. JRJoe Rogan45:12

      They just- they just-

   8. GFGreg Fitzsimmons45:13

      Yes.

   9. JRJoe Rogan45:13

      They're not even picking up their groceries.

   10. GFGreg Fitzsimmons45:15

       Yeah.

   11. JRJoe Rogan45:15

       Like, there's no-

   12. GFGreg Fitzsimmons45:15

       Yeah.

   13. JRJoe Rogan45:16

       They- they're built different.

   14. GFGreg Fitzsimmons45:17

       Yeah, and they don't last.

   15. JRJoe Rogan45:18

       If they didn't do manual labor ... They don't last. (laughs) Some of them do, and when they do, it's a shock.

   16. GFGreg Fitzsimmons45:24

       Right.

   17. JRJoe Rogan45:24

       Like Raquel Welch, like deep into her 60s.

   18. GFGreg Fitzsimmons45:26

       Right, yeah.

   19. JRJoe Rogan45:26

       She's like, "Jesus, she's still hot."

   20. GFGreg Fitzsimmons45:28

       Sofia Loren, right to the end.

   21. JRJoe Rogan45:30

       Oh, Jesus.

   22. GFGreg Fitzsimmons45:31

       Yeah.

   23. JRJoe Rogan45:31

       It's a few of them that were so potent-

   24. GFGreg Fitzsimmons45:34

       Yeah.

   25. JRJoe Rogan45:34

       ... that their- their spell lasted their- their entire existence.

   26. NANarrator45:37

       Did this start-

   27. JRJoe Rogan45:37

       What is this?

   28. NANarrator45:38

       What is this? Jane Fonda workout stuff?

   29. GFGreg Fitzsimmons45:39

       Hell yeah.

   30. JRJoe Rogan45:40

       Jane Fonda, back in the day, with the doggy thing.
5. 1:00:00 – 1:13:54

   Antifa. …

   1. GFGreg Fitzsimmons1:00:00

      it's either the alt-right having a demonstration and then the, uh... What do they call them? The something Fa?

   2. JRJoe Rogan1:00:05

      Antifa.

   3. GFGreg Fitzsimmons1:00:05

      Antifa show up-

   4. JRJoe Rogan1:00:07

      Yeah.

   5. GFGreg Fitzsimmons1:00:07

      ... and they have regular fights and it's fucking Nazis.

   6. JRJoe Rogan1:00:10

      God, damn.

   7. GFGreg Fitzsimmons1:00:11

      Oregon's a fucked up state because it was originally... There were no Black people allowed in Oregon.

   8. JRJoe Rogan1:00:16

      Yeah, yeah.

   9. GFGreg Fitzsimmons1:00:16

      That's the, that's the... You know, 'cause now Portland is this very progressive-

   10. JRJoe Rogan1:00:20

       Super progressive.

   11. GFGreg Fitzsimmons1:00:21

       Super progressive, but there's no Black people there. So it seems-

   12. JRJoe Rogan1:00:24

       There's a few, but-

   13. GFGreg Fitzsimmons1:00:24

       There are. It feels a little hollow though when you're there.

   14. JRJoe Rogan1:00:26

       I think they're running shit. (laughs)

   15. GFGreg Fitzsimmons1:00:27

       I just did New Year's Eve shows there and they were, they were... It was fucking-

   16. JRJoe Rogan1:00:31

       Mighty white?

   17. GFGreg Fitzsimmons1:00:32

       ... all white. It was all white. It was weird.

   18. JRJoe Rogan1:00:35

       That is weird.

   19. GFGreg Fitzsimmons1:00:35

       They're d... If I was Black, I would go to Portland in a second. You'd have so many friends instantly.

   20. JRJoe Rogan1:00:41

       (laughs)

   21. GFGreg Fitzsimmons1:00:41

       Everybody wants to high five you-

   22. JRJoe Rogan1:00:43

       Wow.

   23. GFGreg Fitzsimmons1:00:43

       ... have you over for dinner.

   24. JRJoe Rogan1:00:45

       Yeah. It's, um... Yeah. The real problem, for sure, is any kind of discrimination, 'cause that, that also fucks with us too 'cause if the, if people are discriminating against people, we can't even make fun of them now. We have to leave them alone-

   25. GFGreg Fitzsimmons1:00:59

       Right.

   26. JRJoe Rogan1:00:59

       ... 'cause that's punching down like, "Ha, ha." But it's right there.

   27. GFGreg Fitzsimmons1:01:02

       I know. It's the best joke.

   28. JRJoe Rogan1:01:04

       It's... (laughs)

   29. GFGreg Fitzsimmons1:01:04

       I mean, when you think about it as a standup what your topics are, race, racism-... sexuality.

   30. JRJoe Rogan1:01:12

       Politics, current events-

Episode duration: 3:19:07