Joe Rogan Experience #1225 - Theo Von

1. 0:00 – 1:39

   AA, Jamie’s “two-layer” Rocky sweatshirt, and an emergency-evacuation backdrop

   1. JRJoe Rogan0:00

      Well, you know, Alcoholics Anonymous was created by a guy who was into LSD.

   2. TVTheo Von0:04

      Yeah, Bill W. A real-

   3. JRJoe Rogan0:08

      Jamie-

   4. TVTheo Von0:09

      ... baller.

   5. JRJoe Rogan0:10

      Jamie, I'm gonna show you, through your sweater. And it's not a bad sweater- sweatshirt you're wearing. (coughs) It's very cool, but this is a- (coughs)

   6. JVJamie Vernon0:20

      Yeah, I know.

   7. JRJoe Rogan0:21

      ... this is a symptom of everything that's wrong.

   8. JVJamie Vernon0:24

      It's ... Go ahead.

   9. JRJoe Rogan0:26

      (coughs)

   10. JVJamie Vernon0:26

       (laughs) Yeah, it does.

   11. TVTheo Von0:28

       Are we on yet?

   12. JRJoe Rogan0:28

       Yeah, we're on. It's got fake short sleeves- (coughs) It's got fake short sleeves over long sleeves, so the, the short sleeves are sewed in.

   13. JVJamie Vernon0:38

       Not sewed. No, it's not sewed. It's not attached.

   14. JRJoe Rogan0:40

       How's it worked, then? The sh- the short sleeves?

   15. JVJamie Vernon0:42

       It's just, it's just overtop. It comes apart.

   16. JRJoe Rogan0:43

       But this sleeve part-

   17. JVJamie Vernon0:45

       Yeah. It's not there. It's not attached at all. It's separate.

   18. JRJoe Rogan0:47

       So it's two pieces?

   19. JVJamie Vernon0:48

       Yeah. I didn't know that when I bought it either.

   20. JRJoe Rogan0:50

       But when you pull the sleeve up, what happens?

   21. JVJamie Vernon0:52

       Yeah, nothing. It can come off.

   22. JRJoe Rogan0:53

       Oh, it goes all the way over the top.

   23. JVJamie Vernon0:54

       Yeah, it's like a separate-

   24. JRJoe Rogan0:54

       Oh, I see.

   25. JVJamie Vernon0:55

       It's like a separate hood s- hooded sweatshirt.

   26. JRJoe Rogan0:56

       So do you wear the two of them together or are they-

   27. JVJamie Vernon0:58

       I just bought it.

   28. JRJoe Rogan0:58

       ... sewn on?

   29. JVJamie Vernon0:59

       I just bought it. There's a whole Rocky thing that this company did, had a whole bunch of pieces. And I was like, "Oh, that's kinda cool."

   30. JRJoe Rogan1:05

       So, um-
2. 1:39 – 3:59

   Mudslides, bees, and how animals (might) carry messages

   1. JRJoe Rogan1:39

      So, uh, we are here and if, uh, some shit goes down, I may have to bolt from the podcast.

   2. JVJamie Vernon1:44

      Oh, yeah.

   3. JRJoe Rogan1:45

      Because, uh, there's mandatory evacuations all around here.

   4. TVTheo Von1:49

      Really?

   5. JRJoe Rogan1:50

      Yeah, yeah, yeah.

   6. TVTheo Von1:50

      What, is it bees?

   7. JRJoe Rogan1:51

      Out where I live, all in Ventura County, there's all these mandatory ... Bees? Yeah, honey bees.

   8. TVTheo Von1:55

      Is it really?

   9. JRJoe Rogan1:56

      Yeah, they're making too much honey.

   10. TVTheo Von1:57

       (laughs)

   11. JRJoe Rogan1:57

       And they're worried people are gonna die. (laughs)

   12. TVTheo Von1:58

       Is it ... What is it?

   13. JRJoe Rogan1:59

       (laughs) Now it's of mudslides.

   14. TVTheo Von2:01

       Oh, wow, I didn't know that.

   15. JRJoe Rogan2:02

       Yeah.

   16. TVTheo Von2:03

       I had to pull off La Cienega one time that, a bunch of bees on there.

   17. JRJoe Rogan2:05

       What? Really?

   18. TVTheo Von2:06

       Yeah. Huge hives, man.

   19. JRJoe Rogan2:08

       Wow!

   20. TVTheo Von2:08

       And you see, you know, a lotta homeless people and they don't do anything, but when bees show up, they fucking get to doing shit. You know?

   21. JRJoe Rogan2:15

       (laughs)

   22. TVTheo Von2:15

       That's one thing I noticed quickly.

   23. JRJoe Rogan2:17

       "Get outta there."

   24. TVTheo Von2:17

       Yeah.

   25. JRJoe Rogan2:17

       Yeah, isn't it interesting how they get motivated by bees?

   26. TVTheo Von2:19

       Yeah. Bees will motivate anybody.

   27. JRJoe Rogan2:21

       Yeah.

   28. TVTheo Von2:22

       You know, you don't, you know, you're not all cracked out once the bees show up.

   29. JRJoe Rogan2:25

       Dude, I watched bees communicate with each other once. I was on the set of Fear Factor and we covered these people with bees. And then, uh, uh, a neighboring colony, a colony that actually lived there, a local colony-

   30. TVTheo Von2:36

       Mm-hmm.
3. 3:59 – 6:37

   Game of Thrones ravens, owls as predators, and the ‘owl PR’ conspiracy

   1. JRJoe Rogan3:59

      Let me ask you this: If you had an important message, would you just send one raven? That's what I never got.

   2. TVTheo Von4:03

      Yeah.

   3. JRJoe Rogan4:03

      How about you send a flock-

   4. TVTheo Von4:04

      (laughs)

   5. JRJoe Rogan4:04

      ... of these motherfuckers?

   6. TVTheo Von4:05

      (laughs)

   7. JRJoe Rogan4:05

      What, are you crazy? What if that goddamn thing gets eaten?

   8. TVTheo Von4:08

      (laughs)

   9. JRJoe Rogan4:08

      What if an eagle jacks one along the way? The fate of your kingdom is at hand, sir.

   10. TVTheo Von4:12

       Yeah. Yeah, you can't put that on the back of one bird, dude. I would send a bird nobody would expect, you know, like a little warbler or something, or a nightingale.

   11. JRJoe Rogan4:19

       Oh, that's a good move.

   12. TVTheo Von4:20

       Yeah.

   13. JRJoe Rogan4:20

       You gotta send a bird that nobody wants to shoot, though.

   14. TVTheo Von4:23

       Yeah.

   15. JRJoe Rogan4:23

       'Cause people like to shoot birds.

   16. TVTheo Von4:25

       Well, owl, too. Dude, we had owl-

   17. JRJoe Rogan4:27

       Too many.

   18. TVTheo Von4:27

       ... two Thanksgivings ago, we had two owls at my sister's house.

   19. JRJoe Rogan4:30

       Yeah, I saw one last night, actually.

   20. TVTheo Von4:32

       Did you?

   21. JRJoe Rogan4:32

       Yeah, it was pretty ... No, not last night, night before last. It was pretty fucking cool. Pulled into the driveway and an owl took off. It was big, too.

   22. TVTheo Von4:39

       It's gross, I think.

   23. JRJoe Rogan4:40

       Owls?

   24. TVTheo Von4:41

       The meat. The f- uh ...

   25. JRJoe Rogan4:43

       Oh, you ate them, he's saying.

   26. TVTheo Von4:44

       Yeah, but the-

   27. JRJoe Rogan4:44

       You guys ate owls?

   28. TVTheo Von4:46

       Yeah. I-

   29. JRJoe Rogan4:46

       I don't think that's legal. You probably shouldn't say that on a podcast.

   30. TVTheo Von4:50

       Well ...
4. 6:37 – 11:25

   Comedy history: Bud Friedman, the Improv, and early standup culture

   1. JRJoe Rogan6:37

      Pull up Bud Friedman from Evening at the Improv. His whole deal was He had a... I w- I loved Evening at the Improv when I was a kid.

   2. TVTheo Von6:44

      I never saw it.

   3. JRJoe Rogan6:45

      Oh, man, that was like one of the reasons why I got into standup comedy. I used to watch these TV shows.

   4. TVTheo Von6:50

      Mm-hmm.

   5. JRJoe Rogan6:50

      They had syndicated TV shows that they would do. You know, VH1 had one, MTV had the Half-Hour Comedy Hour.

   6. TVTheo Von6:58

      And what time did it come on at?

   7. JRJoe Rogan6:59

      I don't remember, man.

   8. TVTheo Von7:00

      Yeah.

   9. JRJoe Rogan7:00

      I don't remember. That was Bud, but it was probably-

   10. TVTheo Von7:02

       Oh, wow.

   11. JRJoe Rogan7:02

       ... on late at night.

   12. TVTheo Von7:03

       He looked like that Planter's nut.

   13. JRJoe Rogan7:04

       Bud Friedman-

   14. TVTheo Von7:05

       Daniel, I think that guy's name is.

   15. JRJoe Rogan7:06

       ... was one of the owners. Uh, he sold it eventually and cha-ching, cashed out.

   16. NANarrator7:10

       What are you talking about? Friend Brian Friedman in the left corner.

   17. JRJoe Rogan7:13

       Oh, that's a different dude.

   18. NANarrator7:14

       Yeah.

   19. JRJoe Rogan7:14

       Interesting. A lot of Friedmans out there.

   20. NANarrator7:16

       (laughs)

   21. JRJoe Rogan7:17

       Um, but anyway, Bud ran, uh... He was the host of Evening at the Improv, and he would come out with that monocle. Go back to that monocle picture again, lower left. Bam, that was him.

   22. TVTheo Von7:27

       Oh, wow.

   23. JRJoe Rogan7:28

       See, see, Google "Bud Friedman Evening at the Improv."

   24. NANarrator7:32

       That's right, I did that.

   25. JRJoe Rogan7:32

       That's what you did? Oh, okay.

   26. NANarrator7:33

       Yeah, I did.

   27. JRJoe Rogan7:34

       Okay. Yeah, nice guy. Real-

   28. TVTheo Von7:35

       Yeah.

   29. JRJoe Rogan7:35

       ... real nice guy. And-

   30. TVTheo Von7:36

       Yeah?
5. 11:25 – 14:52

   Youth, insecurity, and being mistaken for gay when you’re starting out

   1. TVTheo Von11:25

      Was Bill Hicks a nice guy? What was he like? Did you meet him-

   2. JRJoe Rogan11:27

      I didn't meet him. I, I met him like, "Hi."

   3. TVTheo Von11:30

      Yeah.

   4. JRJoe Rogan11:30

      Like, "Hey, what's up?" I was... I was an open mic-er.

   5. TVTheo Von11:33

      Oh, yeah.

   6. JRJoe Rogan11:33

      You know, he ain't gonna talk to me.

   7. TVTheo Von11:35

      Yeah.

   8. JRJoe Rogan11:35

      It's like, you know, I say hi to everybody I, I run into. F- like door guys, I always try to say hi to everybody.

   9. TVTheo Von11:42

      Yeah.

   10. JRJoe Rogan11:42

       'Cause I remember what it was like when I was an open mic-er, and seeing these guys where I couldn't even ta- I couldn't even imagine that we were the same thing.

   11. TVTheo Von11:49

       Mm-hmm.

   12. JRJoe Rogan11:49

       I couldn't talk to them. You know what I mean? Like-

   13. TVTheo Von11:52

       The, the big comedians, you mean?

   14. JRJoe Rogan11:53

       Fuck yeah. Like, Bill Hicks would come into town. I didn't wanna say hi to him. It'd be super annoying.

   15. TVTheo Von11:58

       Right. 'Cause then you... And what do you back it up with?

   16. JRJoe Rogan12:00

       Ugh.

   17. TVTheo Von12:00

       That was always my thing.

   18. JRJoe Rogan12:01

       I was so stupid back then, too. I mean, I'm pretty dumb now, but I was really dumb back then.

   19. TVTheo Von12:06

       Yeah.

   20. JRJoe Rogan12:07

       There was no way I had anything to say to that dude. I don't-

   21. TVTheo Von12:09

       You think there was a time in your life you were the dumbest that you'd ever been?

   22. JRJoe Rogan12:13

       ... probably couple weeks ago. (laughs)

   23. TVTheo Von12:15

       (laughs)

   24. NANarrator12:15

       (laughs)

   25. JRJoe Rogan12:16

       I don't know. I don't know, man. Well, I definitely have more data to work with now, but I've forgotten a lot of shit too.

   26. TVTheo Von12:23

       But, like, do you think there's generally a time in people's lives when they, what they should know, kind of, and the, uh, there's, like, a, kind of like-

   27. JRJoe Rogan12:30

       Yeah.

   28. TVTheo Von12:30

       ... a middle ground where maybe it doesn't?

   29. JRJoe Rogan12:32

       Well, for sure when I was in my early 20's. For sure when I was in my-

   30. TVTheo Von12:35

       Yes.
6. 14:52 – 17:16

   Ghosts at The Comedy Store—and why your mind makes them real

   1. JRJoe Rogan14:52

      Do you think there's ghosts at The Comedy Store?

   2. TVTheo Von14:56

      I, I, I, I don't know.

   3. JRJoe Rogan14:59

      I had some friends there the other day. I was trying to give them the whole tour.

   4. TVTheo Von15:01

      Yeah.

   5. JRJoe Rogan15:01

      Tell them how it used to be Ciro's Nightclub, Bugs-

   6. TVTheo Von15:04

      Took them downstairs.

   7. JRJoe Rogan15:04

      ... and Seigler used to own it. I didn't take them all the way, but I showed them, you know, how you go through the back room of the, uh, main room. That that used to be like their hideout and shit.

   8. TVTheo Von15:15

      Mm-hmm.

   9. JRJoe Rogan15:15

      I told, I told them about all the ghost stories that have been filmed there. I don't believe it. I don't think it's real.

   10. TVTheo Von15:22

       Well, I think, I'm surprised we don't have more ghost animals.

   11. JRJoe Rogan15:25

       You know what I think? I think it's you. This is what I think, for real. I think when you, I think you can probably tune in to something that happened in a place.

   12. TVTheo Von15:36

       Mm-hmm.

   13. JRJoe Rogan15:37

       That's what I think. And I think if you trip yourself out, you could see things that aren't really there. And I think that it is entirely possible that ghosts aren't real, but that you seeing a ghost is real.

   14. TVTheo Von15:50

       Yeah.

   15. JRJoe Rogan15:50

       That I think that you can get your body into, like, such a frenzied, terrified state-

   16. TVTheo Von15:56

       Mm-hmm.

   17. JRJoe Rogan15:56

       ... and if you are open to the idea-

   18. TVTheo Von15:58

       Yeah.

   19. JRJoe Rogan15:58

       ... that a ghost is a real thing, your mind can fuck with you.

   20. TVTheo Von16:01

       Yeah.

   21. JRJoe Rogan16:01

       Like The Ghetto Boys, your mind's playing tricks on you.

   22. TVTheo Von16:04

       Tricks on me. Yeah.

   23. JRJoe Rogan16:04

       Yeah. That's what I think. I think legitimately, and I also think that if you, if you hit the right frequency, I bet you could pull up s- like a, just a ghost of a memory of someone getting killed in a place.

   24. TVTheo Von16:14

       Right.

   25. JRJoe Rogan16:14

       Or something horrible happening, just the ghost of an, a memory.

   26. TVTheo Von16:17

       Oh, I think that's next. That's one of the next things. You're gonna be able to do like a gang sign in the air, a special gang sign and then a fucking, the truth is gonna pop out right in front of you. Like, I think-

   27. JRJoe Rogan16:25

       Hmm.

   28. TVTheo Von16:25

       ... we're gonna start to learn-

   29. JRJoe Rogan16:27

       Like Harry Potter type shit?

   30. TVTheo Von16:28

       Yes. Or like maybe a song. What if this cer- uh, certain, like, playing of, uh, s- lyrics or, or notes in a row would reveal, like, the past right in front of you. Like, I wonder if there's some ma-
7. 17:16 – 21:13

   Sound, vibration patterns, and music as a drug dealer

   1. NANarrator17:16

      I put up that, put up that video the other day-

   2. JRJoe Rogan17:18

      Oh, yeah, that-

   3. NANarrator17:18

      ... of like I was playing the-

   4. JRJoe Rogan17:19

      ... video that I reposted?

   5. NANarrator17:20

      ... the vibrations.

   6. JRJoe Rogan17:20

      The sand, yeah.

   7. NANarrator17:21

      If you look deep into this topic of vibrations and symbols that come out and like different, like patterns-

   8. JRJoe Rogan17:25

      Explain to people what we're talking about.

   9. NANarrator17:27

      Oh, it's kinda difficult, but yeah.

   10. JRJoe Rogan17:28

       It's hard but, the, I posted it on my Instagram. I reposted it because it's really fascinating. Some, some guy-

   11. TVTheo Von17:33

       This is a black mat?

   12. JRJoe Rogan17:34

       It s- it seems like it's just a mat that's charged, right?

   13. NANarrator17:37

       Yeah, and it's being vibrated, so-

   14. JRJoe Rogan17:39

       Well, let's explain what's happening for the people-

   15. NANarrator17:40

       So-

   16. JRJoe Rogan17:40

       ... that are just listening.

   17. NANarrator17:41

       ... I'm, I'm not gonna play this video because it'll probably get taken down. It's got a lot of-

   18. JRJoe Rogan17:43

       Right.

   19. NANarrator17:43

       ... views. There's lots of different v- versions of this online. It says-

   20. JRJoe Rogan17:47

       This is amazinging, uh, amazinging. (laughs)

   21. NANarrator17:49

       (laughs)

   22. JRJoe Rogan17:49

       Amazing resonance experiment.

   23. TVTheo Von17:51

       Yes.

   24. NANarrator17:51

       Yes.

   25. JRJoe Rogan17:51

       So they put some sa- is it sand?

   26. NANarrator17:53

       This is probably salt.

   27. JRJoe Rogan17:55

       Okay. They put-

   28. NANarrator17:55

       I don't know that it matters.

   29. TVTheo Von17:56

       I love salt.

   30. JRJoe Rogan17:56

       They put some sort of powdered stuff, sand or salt, onto a black mat that's charged and then they send certain hertz through it. This one's 3,835 hertz. And then it makes a different pattern-
8. 21:13 – 26:39

   Quantum confusion, scientist culture, and the Richard Feynman quote debate

   1. JRJoe Rogan21:13

      Like, when I have someone like Sean Carroll in, the physicist, and he has to break down particle physics and shit to you, you're like...

   2. TVTheo Von21:21

      Is it hard?

   3. JRJoe Rogan21:22

      I'm a... It doesn't even get in.

   4. TVTheo Von21:24

      Yeah.

   5. JRJoe Rogan21:24

      Does it... I, I, I can repeat what he said.

   6. TVTheo Von21:27

      Yeah.

   7. JRJoe Rogan21:27

      I don't know what the fuck it means.

   8. TVTheo Von21:28

      (laughs)

   9. JRJoe Rogan21:28

      Like, when people start talking about quantum, quantum things-

   10. TVTheo Von21:31

       Yeah.

   11. NANarrator21:31

       Mm-hmm.

   12. JRJoe Rogan21:31

       ... and quantum theory and quantum particles and-

   13. TVTheo Von21:33

       It's danger.

   14. JRJoe Rogan21:34

       Dude. I don't get it.

   15. TVTheo Von21:35

       I don't trust that kind of stuff, a lot of it.

   16. JRJoe Rogan21:37

       Well, how about, you know what superposition is?

   17. TVTheo Von21:40

       Mm-mm.

   18. JRJoe Rogan21:40

       It's the ultimate what the fuck, where a particle can be in a state of motion and be still at the same time. I'm like, "Well, good luck with that."

   19. TVTheo Von21:49

       (laughs)

   20. JRJoe Rogan21:49

       Good luck with this magic world that you've created, crazy scientist that I don't understand.

   21. TVTheo Von21:55

       Yeah, I would rather do something more chill than that.

   22. JRJoe Rogan21:57

       What the fuck? Something can stay-

   23. TVTheo Von21:58

       You know?

   24. JRJoe Rogan21:59

       ... stay put here.

   25. TVTheo Von21:59

       Ride a bike or go for a run or something.

   26. JRJoe Rogan22:01

       Oh, b- being that... Rather than study that or rather than be that particle?

   27. TVTheo Von22:05

       Oh, rather than study that and be... Yeah. Sit at... Like, I just think-

   28. JRJoe Rogan22:08

       But don't you want someone to know? 'Cause don't you benefit from cellphones?

   29. TVTheo Von22:13

       Well, what about the, the, the, the... Such few people know that if they all wanted to lie to us, then they could.

   30. JRJoe Rogan22:19

       There would have to be a conspiracy. Now you're starting to sound like some other people I know.
9. 26:39 – 31:53

   Nostalgia vs. gratitude, getting in shape, and Theo’s steroid road stories

   1. TVTheo Von26:39

      Dude, a lot... I r- I, uh, sometimes I miss being young, man. Don't you miss it sometimes?

   2. JRJoe Rogan26:43

      Well, no and yes. Like it looks like fun to have no responsibility and to be 22 and be backpacking around the world or doing something silly and n- not having a place where you have to go or a bunch of bills. But on the other hand, w- I, I feel so fucking ridiculously lucky that I get to be a comedian.

   3. TVTheo Von27:06

      Right.

   4. JRJoe Rogan27:06

      Like I don't wanna try to do this again.

   5. TVTheo Von27:10

      Yeah.

   6. JRJoe Rogan27:10

      Pff- Why would I try to do this when I c- I'm doing this? Like...

   7. TVTheo Von27:14

      But yeah, but to go back, I just miss being young and like, remember a nap, man? When you took a nap when you were young, it could last, you fucking didn't care, it could last for three days.

   8. JRJoe Rogan27:22

      Yes. But I think one of the secrets to happiness is to never look back at any point in your life and wish you were back there.

   9. TVTheo Von27:29

      Mm-hmm.

   10. JRJoe Rogan27:29

       Because A, it's not possible.

   11. TVTheo Von27:32

       Right.

   12. JRJoe Rogan27:32

       And B, if you didn't go through that, you wouldn't be you. If you would go back now and be 22 again and broke and fucked up, you, with all the information you have now, you'd be like, "Shit. Y'all don't know. I had a fucking Netflix special."

   13. TVTheo Von27:44

       Yeah.

   14. JRJoe Rogan27:44

       "You guys don't know, I was killing it out there."

   15. TVTheo Von27:46

       Yeah.

   16. JRJoe Rogan27:46

       "I decided to start over like an asshole. Now here I am. Well, yeah, I'm young but I'm broke, I can't even afford vitamins."

   17. TVTheo Von27:51

       (laughs)

   18. JRJoe Rogan27:52

       What the fuck, man?

   19. TVTheo Von27:54

       Vitamins. (laughs)

   20. JRJoe Rogan27:54

       I don't want to be that guy again. (laughs)

   21. TVTheo Von27:55

       That's the first thing Joe wants is to get some vitamins. (laughs)

   22. JRJoe Rogan27:58

       I work out hard, man. I gotta take care of my body.

   23. TVTheo Von28:01

       No, that's true. (laughs) No, you're right, man.

   24. JRJoe Rogan28:02

       I- uh, feed it the right food. I can't afford, I have ramen noodle, I'm eating ramen noodle every day. I'm gonna get-

   25. TVTheo Von28:06

       Yeah.

   26. JRJoe Rogan28:06

       ... start breaking joints.

   27. TVTheo Von28:07

       Yeah. (laughs)

   28. JRJoe Rogan28:08

       I'm gonna have real problems.

   29. TVTheo Von28:09

       (laughs) That's true, dude.

   30. JRJoe Rogan28:10

       I'm going to f- tear muscles and shit.
10. 31:53 – 42:41

    Louis C.K., ‘working out’ controversial bits, and paths to redemption

    1. JRJoe Rogan31:53

       For sure. Yeah, for sure. You know, I mean, it's, it's interesting. This whole bit about the Parkland shooting, you know, you know that part-

    2. TVTheo Von31:59

       Oh yeah, I saw that.

    3. JRJoe Rogan32:00

       ... that's like stirred up all this controversy. That is s- so, it's such a Louis C.K. bit. It's interesting.

    4. TVTheo Von32:05

       Yeah.

    5. JRJoe Rogan32:06

       It's almost like people don't understand what kind of comedy he did.

    6. TVTheo Von32:09

       Right. Yeah, it's like suddenly they forget who he was.

    7. JRJoe Rogan32:11

       Yeah.

    8. TVTheo Von32:12

       I mean, if you look at his comedy, you're not even surprised that he was jerking off, you know, kind of room service sorta deal.

    9. JRJoe Rogan32:16

       (laughs)

    10. TVTheo Von32:16

        You know?

    11. JRJoe Rogan32:17

        But he's, he, he's, his style has always been like that. I mean, the, he's, his style is always very irreverent.

    12. TVTheo Von32:26

        Yeah.

    13. JRJoe Rogan32:26

        Saying fucked up shit you can't believe he's saying. And, you know, well-written and well-thought-out stuff. This is stuff he's working on, and this is people like, you know, "How could he joke? It wasn't even that good." He's just, he probably wrote it that day-

    14. TVTheo Von32:40

        Yeah.

    15. JRJoe Rogan32:40

        ... or two days before, or who knows how many times he's done that bit. But, I guarantee you, the guy takes 10 months off of standup and then he's starting to do it again. I don't-

    16. TVTheo Von32:50

        He was scared, I bet.

    17. JRJoe Rogan32:51

        ... I don't think I would ever joke around about that. I definitely wouldn't joke around about ... But you can.

    18. TVTheo Von32:57

        Yeah.

    19. JRJoe Rogan32:57

        You know, this is-

    20. TVTheo Von32:57

        Out of the gate, I don't know if I would.

    21. JRJoe Rogan32:59

        It just wasn't, wasn't his best stuff. It wasn't good. It's like it wasn't ready.

    22. TVTheo Von33:04

        Yeah.

    23. JRJoe Rogan33:04

        But maybe he could've come up with a different turn on it where it wouldn't be as offensive and it would be way funnier. That's what working on a bit is all about.

    24. TVTheo Von33:13

        Right.

    25. JRJoe Rogan33:13

        Like fuck, look, Holtzman, B- Brian Holtzman, if he had said that exact same thing that Louis said, we would be howling.

    26. TVTheo Von33:20

        Yeah.

    27. JRJoe Rogan33:20

        We'd be in the back of the room slapping the table howling laughing.

    28. TVTheo Von33:24

        Yeah.

    29. JRJoe Rogan33:24

        "Brian Holtzman." (grunts)

    30. TVTheo Von33:26

        (grunts) Yeah.
11. 42:41 – 50:15

    Sex, dating apps, and extended riffs on ‘gay rules’ and social taboos

    1. JRJoe Rogan42:41

       Yeah, but the, um, the thing about this, um, about, uh, uh, dating apps is like, that's gotta be just as weird as dating for a girl.

    2. TVTheo Von42:54

       Yeah.

    3. JRJoe Rogan42:54

       Almost weirder maybe, right? Because p-... You can't even see the person.

    4. TVTheo Von42:58

       Right. I mean, you can see pictures of 'em.

    5. JRJoe Rogan42:59

       Yeah, but you don't see them when they're looking at your profile and they're-

    6. TVTheo Von43:03

       Right. You should be able to see-

    7. JRJoe Rogan43:04

       ... moving in on you.

    8. TVTheo Von43:04

       ... how they look at your profile.

    9. JRJoe Rogan43:05

       How many people are looking at your profile at any given moment?

    10. TVTheo Von43:07

        Ugh.

    11. JRJoe Rogan43:07

        You know, that's a, that's a nightmare in and of itself.

    12. TVTheo Von43:10

        Yeah.When you think about that, imagine like just people just looking at you and saying no, and you're in the distance all the time.

    13. JRJoe Rogan43:16

        (laughs)

    14. TVTheo Von43:16

        It has to be bad for us.

    15. JRJoe Rogan43:18

        Somebody'll say yes. But the odds, uh, the thing is you're playing the numbers. Maybe in that sense, it's better because the only people that get ahold of you are the people that say yes.

    16. TVTheo Von43:27

        Right.

    17. JRJoe Rogan43:27

        So you miss all the nos.

    18. TVTheo Von43:28

        That's true.

    19. JRJoe Rogan43:30

        (sighs) But what I was gonna say is that having, having a baby with someone that you don't really like.

    20. TVTheo Von43:34

        Yeah.

    21. JRJoe Rogan43:35

        That's a possibility. If you just like to have sex with them and then when you're done you're like, "I gotta go."

    22. TVTheo Von43:41

        Yeah.

    23. JRJoe Rogan43:41

        People have-

    24. TVTheo Von43:41

        And you can't go 'cause the baby's around. Is coming.

    25. JRJoe Rogan43:43

        People have fuck buddies. They, everyone has. Guys and girls have fuck buddies.

    26. TVTheo Von43:47

        Yeah.

    27. JRJoe Rogan43:48

        The, uh, um, um, almost everyone I know has had one in the past where you weren't in a relationship with them really-

    28. TVTheo Von43:54

        You drive over and fuck.

    29. JRJoe Rogan43:55

        ... and bang. And then, "All right, bye." (kissing sound)

    30. TVTheo Von43:58

        Yeah, bye. But do you kiss at the end? That's a lot of chicks these days, I think they just-
12. 50:15 – 1:16:13

    Porn detox, masturbation shame, and addiction as focus gone sideways

    1. TVTheo Von50:15

       Yeah, that's true, man. I, uh, I don't know, man. I j- I, I actually masturbated yesterday, and I feel bad about it sometimes. But-

    2. JRJoe Rogan50:21

       (scoffs) Why?

    3. TVTheo Von50:23

       I just, I don't know. For some reason, I feel bad.

    4. JRJoe Rogan50:25

       They got us. That's the thing. It's a cultural thing.

    5. TVTheo Von50:27

       Yeah.

    6. JRJoe Rogan50:27

       They got us when we're young. Like, think about it this way. What if the culture was all standup comedy culture?

    7. TVTheo Von50:33

       Mm-hmm.

    8. JRJoe Rogan50:33

       'Cause a- arguably, standup comedians have a different culture and a different way of looking at things.

    9. TVTheo Von50:39

       Yes.

    10. JRJoe Rogan50:39

        And it d- definitely like a very deep comradery between fellow practitioners, right?

    11. TVTheo Von50:45

        Yeah.

    12. JRJoe Rogan50:46

        (smacks lips) If that was the culture, if standup comedy culture was the whole world, you wouldn't give a fuck (laughs) if you beat off.

    13. TVTheo Von50:51

        Right.

    14. JRJoe Rogan50:52

        You wouldn't even be slightly embarrassed.

    15. TVTheo Von50:54

        Right.

    16. JRJoe Rogan50:54

        Everybody would just be-

    17. TVTheo Von50:55

        I'd tell people.

    18. JRJoe Rogan50:55

        You would tell people.

    19. TVTheo Von50:56

        I'd tell people where it's at.

    20. JRJoe Rogan50:57

        Sure. Ari would tell me all the time how many times he beat off towards today.

    21. TVTheo Von51:00

        Ugh.

    22. JRJoe Rogan51:01

        We talk... Uh, we, we all tell each other how we beat off or what we beat off to.

    23. TVTheo Von51:05

        I don't, just don't like it as much as I used to when I was young.

    24. JRJoe Rogan51:07

        Well-

    25. TVTheo Von51:07

        That's my thing.

    26. JRJoe Rogan51:08

        ... you're probably, uh, healthier.

    27. TVTheo Von51:10

        Yeah.

    28. JRJoe Rogan51:11

        You know? It's like you've gotten older. You're more comfortable. You're successful. Probably don't-

    29. TVTheo Von51:15

        Yeah, it just feels like sus- yeah, it feels like a novice move if I'm still jerking off and it's 2019.

    30. JRJoe Rogan51:20

        It's certainly a distraction, too.

Episode duration: 3:07:16