Joe Rogan Experience #1231 - Matt Braunger

1. 0:00 – 15:00

   ... four, three, two,…

   1. MBMatt Braunger0:00

      ... four, three, two, one. Boom.

   2. JRJoe Rogan0:04

      Matt, you're the first guy to ever bring homemade cold brew-

   3. MBMatt Braunger0:08

      Yes, sir. (laughs)

   4. JRJoe Rogan0:09

      ... to the studio. I think we should enjoy some of this right now, sir.

   5. MBMatt Braunger0:11

      Okay, let's have some.

   6. JRJoe Rogan0:12

      Give us a couple here.

   7. MBMatt Braunger0:13

      Yeah, it's, uh, it's, it's, it's pretty much kerosene, so you wanna sip it. Be careful.

   8. JRJoe Rogan0:17

      Is it really?

   9. MBMatt Braunger0:18

      I usually... Yeah, I usually dilute it with a little bit of water. But, um-

   10. JRJoe Rogan0:21

       Wow.

   11. MBMatt Braunger0:21

       Yeah.

   12. JRJoe Rogan0:21

       Love it.

   13. MBMatt Braunger0:21

       I fe- I got this... uh, found out about this guy, his company called Tristero, where it's a guy, and he just roasts all these beans from all over the world and drops them off at this one bicycle cafe. And, uh-

   14. JRJoe Rogan0:32

       You live in Venice or something?

   15. MBMatt Braunger0:33

       No. No, I live in-

   16. JRJoe Rogan0:34

       Cheers.

   17. MBMatt Braunger0:34

       ... Los Feliz, close, close second.

   18. JRJoe Rogan0:35

       Close, close enough.

   19. MBMatt Braunger0:36

       Cheers, buddy.

   20. JRJoe Rogan0:36

       Cheers.

   21. MBMatt Braunger0:36

       Thanks for having me.

   22. JRJoe Rogan0:37

       My pleasure. I had a, um, coffee expert on the podcast before. Just started... I mean, I don't know anything about coffee. Just on a whim, had this guy, Peter Giuliano. That's his name? Giuliano? Or Giuliani? I'm avoiding, uh, the word Giuliani, like-

   23. MBMatt Braunger0:55

       (laughs)

   24. JRJoe Rogan0:55

       ... specifically because-

   25. MBMatt Braunger0:56

       I'm sure he is too.

   26. JRJoe Rogan0:57

       (laughs)

   27. MBMatt Braunger0:58

       Giuliano, yeah.

   28. JRJoe Rogan0:59

       Giuliano. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But he's, like, a legit coffee expert.

   29. MBMatt Braunger1:02

       Okay.

   30. JRJoe Rogan1:02

       And he explained to us that all coffee comes from Ethiopia.
2. 15:00 – 30:00

   Yeah. …

   1. MBMatt Braunger15:00

      that are gonna kick the shit outta you in life anyway.

   2. JRJoe Rogan15:02

      Yeah.

   3. MBMatt Braunger15:02

      Why, why do it to yourself?

   4. JRJoe Rogan15:03

      But, yeah, but there's something good about feeling very disappointed in yourself-

   5. MBMatt Braunger15:08

      Yes.

   6. JRJoe Rogan15:08

      ... because then it makes you work harder-

   7. MBMatt Braunger15:10

      Mm-hmm.

   8. JRJoe Rogan15:10

      ... and, like, re- recognize or at least try to realize your potential better.

   9. MBMatt Braunger15:15

      Mm-hmm.

   10. JRJoe Rogan15:15

       And you get more done, you feel better about yourself.

   11. MBMatt Braunger15:18

       Yeah.

   12. JRJoe Rogan15:18

       Yeah.

   13. MBMatt Braunger15:18

       Absolutely. Yeah, there, there, there's definitely something there as, you know, especially if you're, you're in competitive sports or something like that where you just, you, there's nothing-

   14. JRJoe Rogan15:25

       Yeah.

   15. MBMatt Braunger15:25

       ... you hate more than losing.

   16. JRJoe Rogan15:27

       Right.

   17. MBMatt Braunger15:27

       Be- 'cause otherwise you won't work as hard.

   18. JRJoe Rogan15:29

       Yeah, but Jamie was talking about Kobe Bryant, about what a psycho he was when he was training.

   19. MBMatt Braunger15:33

       (laughs)

   20. JRJoe Rogan15:33

       And they, they always say that about Michael Jordan. And of course Mike Tyson was like that.

   21. MBMatt Braunger15:36

       Yeah.

   22. NANarrator15:37

       Kobe said he learned it from Michael. That's, like, what he passed on to him.

   23. MBMatt Braunger15:40

       Ah.

   24. JRJoe Rogan15:40

       Interesting.

   25. NANarrator15:41

       And then Kobe passed it on to LeBron.

   26. JRJoe Rogan15:42

       Yeah.

   27. NANarrator15:43

       And they went on the Olympic team together.

   28. JRJoe Rogan15:44

       I heard LeBron spends $1.5 million a year on recovery.

   29. NANarrator15:48

       Sure. Yeah.

   30. MBMatt Braunger15:49

       (laughs)
3. 30:00 – 45:00

   Really? …

   1. JRJoe Rogan30:00

      There was speculation that there was something about the way-

   2. MBMatt Braunger30:02

      Really?

   3. JRJoe Rogan30:03

      ... yeah, the way that they pro- y- you know, the DNA and RNA of, of v- of octopus are so different than every other animal in the fossil record that it's almost ... That there w- there was a consideration that they might have actually been an alien species. 'Cause you know the term ... You know what panspermia means?

   4. MBMatt Braunger30:21

      Mm-mm.

   5. JRJoe Rogan30:21

      Panspermia's a theory that, uh, is pretty widely accepted in the scientific community that some life is transferred through asteroidal collisions.

   6. MBMatt Braunger30:31

      Huh.

   7. JRJoe Rogan30:31

      So like that ... Say if a, a chunk of rock slams into our planet and knocks a chunk of rock loose, and that chunk has DNA on it, and, uh, uh, uh amino acids and all the building blocks for life-

   8. MBMatt Braunger30:44

      Sure.

   9. JRJoe Rogan30:44

      ... that ... F- bacteria, whatever it is. Things that ... Some things, you know, little things can survive in space, like tardigrades. Little life forms can s- survive in space.

   10. MBMatt Braunger30:52

       Right.

   11. JRJoe Rogan30:52

       But they slam into a planet eventually, and then when they do, that that life is transferred onto that new planet. Science News; octopuses-

   12. MBMatt Braunger31:01

       Holy shit.

   13. JRJoe Rogan31:01

       ... came to Earth from space as frozen eggs millions of years ago.

   14. MBMatt Braunger31:05

       Mm-hmm.

   15. JRJoe Rogan31:05

       Okay, but this is, like, the, the Express.

   16. MBMatt Braunger31:07

       Yeah, but this ... I was trying ... That ... I read it a little bit. It's-

   17. JRJoe Rogan31:09

       Yeah.

   18. MBMatt Braunger31:09

       There was a paper- But that's, that's the most feasible version of aliens coming here.

   19. JRJoe Rogan31:13

       Yes.

   20. MBMatt Braunger31:14

       We tend to think of it as it, it lands and then, like, a spaceman who looks like George Clooney steps out, but w- he has, like, antennae or something, is like, "Hi, I'm here to share with our planet, Al- Altuna," or whatever-

   21. JRJoe Rogan31:24

       Yeah.

   22. MBMatt Braunger31:24

       ... and he speaks English and all this shit. Like, it's, it's on a, on a biological level that we almost can't comprehend.

   23. JRJoe Rogan31:31

       Just ... Y- go back to that, Jamie, please. Um, r- look what it says there. "The extraordinary claims made in a report entitled The Case of Cambrian Explosion: Terrestrial or Cosmic? which co-authored by a group of 33 scientists and published in the pr- uh, Progress in Biophysics and Molecular Biology Journal, and the paper suggests that the explanation for the sudden flourishing of life during the Cambrian era, often referred to as the Cambrian explosion, lies in the stars, as the result of Earth being bombarded by clouds of organic molecules."

   24. MBMatt Braunger32:00

       Wow.

   25. JRJoe Rogan32:01

       I think that's also the theory of how water got on Earth.

   26. MBMatt Braunger32:04

       It came from-

   27. JRJoe Rogan32:05

       I think it came from comets, 'cause when you see comets, comets are all water. And I think, like, millions of years of us getting hammered by comets-

   28. MBMatt Braunger32:12

       Huh.

   29. JRJoe Rogan32:13

       Like, you know when you see the trails of comets? That's literally ice d- and debris coming off of that comet.

   30. MBMatt Braunger32:20

       I didn't know that.
4. 45:00 – 1:00:00

   Yeah. …

   1. MBMatt Braunger45:00

      almost every time. But, you know, you just, you fight through it and it's fine. But I always tell him, "Look, man, the audience is rooting for you."

   2. JRJoe Rogan45:07

      Yeah.

   3. MBMatt Braunger45:07

      Like, "They want you to do good."

   4. JRJoe Rogan45:09

      Yeah.

   5. MBMatt Braunger45:09

      You know? You, that's the thing that people forget. They think you're ... They think every time you're on the road it's, it's an away game.

   6. JRJoe Rogan45:14

      Unless you're a hot girl.

   7. MBMatt Braunger45:16

      (laughs) Yeah.

   8. JRJoe Rogan45:18

      That's the hardest road-

   9. MBMatt Braunger45:18

      And they don't know who you are.

   10. JRJoe Rogan45:19

       ... for standup, is a hot girl.

   11. MBMatt Braunger45:21

       Sh- yeah, it's tough.

   12. JRJoe Rogan45:21

       Hot girl with like showing some cleavage with a skirt. Good fucking luck.

   13. MBMatt Braunger45:26

       Yeah, because guys just don't take them seriously. That sucks.

   14. JRJoe Rogan45:28

       Yeah, guys are gonna be like, "What, you're funny too? Well, I'm funnier than you and I could fuck you."

   15. MBMatt Braunger45:31

       Hold on. Yeah.

   16. JRJoe Rogan45:33

       "If I could fuck you, maybe I'd like you better."

   17. MBMatt Braunger45:35

       That's a, that's a ... Yeah, it's a, a perfect male privilege.

   18. JRJoe Rogan45:37

       (laughs)

   19. MBMatt Braunger45:37

       Like, "That's not what I want from you."

   20. JRJoe Rogan45:39

       Yeah.

   21. MBMatt Braunger45:39

       "I want sex." Yeah.

   22. JRJoe Rogan45:41

       Well, the, the ... There's n- That's a weird look too. Like a girl with a, like, long legs in a miniskirt and high heels on stage telling jokes.

   23. MBMatt Braunger45:48

       It is strange.

   24. JRJoe Rogan45:49

       That doesn't work.

   25. MBMatt Braunger45:50

       Well, you're, you're overly attractive comedian, male or female, has always been a little weird to me.

   26. JRJoe Rogan45:54

       Yes.

   27. MBMatt Braunger45:54

       They're, they're-

   28. JRJoe Rogan45:54

       Yeah.

   29. MBMatt Braunger45:55

       ... people that I, they're undeniable and I'm like, "All right, cool." You know?

   30. JRJoe Rogan45:58

       Right.
5. 1:00:00 – 1:01:39

   Yep. …

   1. JRJoe Rogan1:00:00

      makes me paranoid." I really think it makes you hyperaware-

   2. MBMatt Braunger1:00:03

      Yep.

   3. JRJoe Rogan1:00:03

      ... of all sorts of things you've been suppressing.

   4. MBMatt Braunger1:00:04

      That's it.

   5. JRJoe Rogan1:00:05

      'Cause when I'm feeling good, when I'm happy, like I've been a good person, I've been nice to people, I've done the things I'm supposed to do, I can get high and I enjoy the shit out of it. But when I got loose ends-

   6. MBMatt Braunger1:00:15

      Uh-huh.

   7. JRJoe Rogan1:00:16

      ... when I got things that are fucking with me-

   8. MBMatt Braunger1:00:17

      Yeah.

   9. JRJoe Rogan1:00:18

      ... or, you know, maybe, like, something that went wrong in my life or whatever, and then I smoke pot, then it just gets weird.

   10. MBMatt Braunger1:00:24

       Yeah. And, and I, I tend to not ... I don't smoke anymore and get, and think about myself and get worried about me. I think about the world.

   11. JRJoe Rogan1:00:31

       Yeah.

   12. MBMatt Braunger1:00:31

       And I think about way too big of issues, and I wor- I think about maybe we're all fucked and, you know, everything, and ...

   13. JRJoe Rogan1:00:37

       Do you have children?

   14. MBMatt Braunger1:00:37

       No.

   15. JRJoe Rogan1:00:38

       Once you have children, then you start thinking about the future.

   16. MBMatt Braunger1:00:41

       Yeah.

   17. JRJoe Rogan1:00:41

       Like, "What is it gonna be like for my children's children? Or my, their children?" Like, like, "What, what kind of toxic world are we gonna be living in?"

   18. MBMatt Braunger1:00:48

       Yeah. Yeah.

   19. JRJoe Rogan1:00:49

       This progress that we're exhibiting right now-

   20. MBMatt Braunger1:00:52

       Mm-hmm.

   21. JRJoe Rogan1:00:52

       ... if it keeps going in the same direction...

   22. MBMatt Braunger1:00:54

       I think we're living at a level, in a level of anxiety as a human race that probably four or five years ago I would've been like, "We can't handle that." But we're somehow handling it.

   23. JRJoe Rogan1:01:03

       Yeah.

   24. MBMatt Braunger1:01:04

       You know?

   25. JRJoe Rogan1:01:04

       Well, we're adaptable.

   26. MBMatt Braunger1:01:06

       Yeah. Uh-

   27. JRJoe Rogan1:01:07

       In weird ways.

   28. MBMatt Braunger1:01:07

       ... I definitely learned that.

   29. JRJoe Rogan1:01:08

       Yeah.

   30. MBMatt Braunger1:01:08

       But it's the, the, the amount of times I, I ... Ah, fu- ... I'm so happy for comedy. I'm so thankful that I'm a comedian and I'm around comedians that can kind of just, pssh, just let the air out of me any time.

Episode duration: 2:18:47