Joe Rogan Experience #1265 - Andrew Schulz

1. 0:00 – 15:00

   Ready? (clears throat) Headphones, sir?…

   1. JRJoe Rogan0:02

      Ready? (clears throat) Headphones, sir?

   2. ASAndrew Schulz0:07

      Oh, yeah. Do I have to?

   3. JRJoe Rogan0:08

      Mm, they're better. (headphones click) You'll lock in. Are we live? Hey, Andrew. How you doing?

   4. ASAndrew Schulz0:13

      I'm good. How are you?

   5. JRJoe Rogan0:13

      I'm good, man. What's up?

   6. ASAndrew Schulz0:14

      Chilling, man. Thanks for having me.

   7. JRJoe Rogan0:16

      Thanks for being here, dude.

   8. ASAndrew Schulz0:17

      Of course, of course.

   9. JRJoe Rogan0:17

      Hey, I like what you're doing.

   10. ASAndrew Schulz0:19

       Thank you.

   11. JRJoe Rogan0:19

       I like a lot of things what you're doing. Uh, first of all, I like that you're, you decided to put all your shit on YouTube.

   12. ASAndrew Schulz0:24

       Yes.

   13. JRJoe Rogan0:24

       You're like, "Fuck it."

   14. ASAndrew Schulz0:25

       Yeah.

   15. JRJoe Rogan0:25

       "Fuck it." Look, it's hard. Look, there's about a million fucking comedians today.

   16. ASAndrew Schulz0:29

       Right, right.

   17. JRJoe Rogan0:29

       There's more comedians now than ever.

   18. ASAndrew Schulz0:31

       I can take these off. Is that all right?

   19. JRJoe Rogan0:31

       You don't ... Yeah. You-

   20. ASAndrew Schulz0:32

       I'll lock in. Don't worry.

   21. JRJoe Rogan0:33

       We don't have to. We don't have to have them on. (clears throat) There's like a million comedians today.

   22. ASAndrew Schulz0:36

       Yeah.

   23. JRJoe Rogan0:37

       And a lot of these companies are overwhelmed.

   24. ASAndrew Schulz0:41

       Yeah.

   25. JRJoe Rogan0:41

       They have no room for all these up-and-coming guys that are coming up.

   26. ASAndrew Schulz0:44

       Yeah.

   27. JRJoe Rogan0:44

       And, you know, some, some guys like you are really good. And-

   28. ASAndrew Schulz0:48

       Thank you.

   29. JRJoe Rogan0:48

       ... there's, they're looking, you know, like, how do you, how do you get your shit out there? Well, just put it out there on YouTube.

   30. ASAndrew Schulz0:54

       Exactly that.
2. 15:00 – 30:00

   Right. …

   1. JRJoe Rogan15:00

      saying it because they want the audience to think they're cool.

   2. ASAndrew Schulz15:03

      Right.

   3. JRJoe Rogan15:03

      And it m- gives you a little, like, "Ew." But maybe they're good enough so that-

   4. ASAndrew Schulz15:06

      You see it.

   5. JRJoe Rogan15:06

      ... you still laugh.

   6. ASAndrew Schulz15:07

      Not everybody.

   7. JRJoe Rogan15:08

      Yeah. So-

   8. ASAndrew Schulz15:08

      It is... Authenticity illuminates-

   9. JRJoe Rogan15:11

      Yeah.

   10. ASAndrew Schulz15:11

       ... all.

   11. JRJoe Rogan15:11

       Yeah.

   12. ASAndrew Schulz15:11

       Those comics can't follow a real comic.

   13. JRJoe Rogan15:13

       Right.

   14. ASAndrew Schulz15:14

       Have you ever noticed this?

   15. JRJoe Rogan15:15

       They have a hard time, yeah.

   16. ASAndrew Schulz15:15

       Like, when you see someone who's being truthful, he might not even be as funny, he might not be killing as hard, but it's so authentic that when the comic comes next, it feels like they're reading jokes off a paper.

   17. JRJoe Rogan15:28

       Right.

   18. ASAndrew Schulz15:28

       Right?

   19. JRJoe Rogan15:29

       Right, right, right.

   20. ASAndrew Schulz15:29

       And it's... Our bodies are keyed into... Like, comedy's reptilian if you do it right.

   21. JRJoe Rogan15:34

       Mm-hmm.

   22. ASAndrew Schulz15:35

       Right? You know, like, a lot of times people ask, like, why, like, old women can laugh at the same jokes that I'm telling that, like, these y- young people can laugh at. And then my response is always, "It's not their choice." Like, I'm not telling you jokes to your choice. Like, The Daily Show with Trevor Noah is jokes about how you want the world to be.

   23. JRJoe Rogan15:52

       Right.

   24. ASAndrew Schulz15:52

       I'm telling you jokes about how you deep down feel-

   25. JRJoe Rogan15:56

       Yes.

   26. ASAndrew Schulz15:57

       ... it is.

   27. JRJoe Rogan15:57

       Yes.

   28. ASAndrew Schulz15:57

       I'm going at your gut.

   29. JRJoe Rogan15:58

       Yes.

   30. ASAndrew Schulz15:58

       It's reptile shit.
3. 30:00 – 45:00

   Of course. …

   1. JRJoe Rogan30:00

      a perfect example. Comedy Central took that and they, they half-watered it.

   2. ASAndrew Schulz30:04

      Of course.

   3. JRJoe Rogan30:04

      They cut it like they would sell cocaine.Yeah.

   4. ASAndrew Schulz30:07

      Right? You're not getting the pure.

   5. JRJoe Rogan30:08

      No.

   6. ASAndrew Schulz30:09

      You're not getting it from Columbia.

   7. JRJoe Rogan30:10

      You're not even getting, not even remotely.

   8. ASAndrew Schulz30:11

      Right?

   9. JRJoe Rogan30:11

      They took all the juicy stuff out. (laughs)

   10. ASAndrew Schulz30:13

       Took the authenticity right out. But it was real for a minute.

   11. JRJoe Rogan30:16

       But you can go there still on Tuesday night and that place gets fucking wild.

   12. ASAndrew Schulz30:20

       Ramped.

   13. JRJoe Rogan30:20

       I get sad.

   14. ASAndrew Schulz30:21

       What do you mean?

   15. JRJoe Rogan30:22

       I feel sad for some people that get toasted up there.

   16. ASAndrew Schulz30:24

       Yeah. I saw a joke.

   17. JRJoe Rogan30:25

       Oof.

   18. ASAndrew Schulz30:26

       There was some kid whose-

   19. JRJoe Rogan30:27

       Oof.

   20. ASAndrew Schulz30:27

       ... not retarded, but what is it? Uh-

   21. JRJoe Rogan30:29

       Cerebral palsy.

   22. ASAndrew Schulz30:30

       Yeah, yeah, yeah. And, um, and, and he's up there with his palsy and the other guy goes, uh, he goes (laughs) , he goes, "You look like your arms drew your legs."

   23. JRJoe Rogan30:40

       Oh, Jesus Christ. (laughs)

   24. ASAndrew Schulz30:42

       (laughs)

   25. JRJoe Rogan30:42

       Bro, bro. I fucking howled, dude.

   26. ASAndrew Schulz30:45

       That is so fucked up.

   27. JRJoe Rogan30:45

       We were fuck... He's up there fucking shaking and-

   28. ASAndrew Schulz30:47

       That's so fucked up.

   29. JRJoe Rogan30:49

       You know what I mean? Oh my God, that's so fucked up.

   30. ASAndrew Schulz30:49

       But he said he looks, he looks like someone put their body in a blender. No, he looks like someone put your voodoo doll in a blender.
4. 45:00 – 1:00:00

   (laughs) That's what we…

   1. JRJoe Rogan45:00

      sure no one's looking, no one's around, and they'll go, "Look, I would never say this publicly, but some bitches are fucking crazy."

   2. ASAndrew Schulz45:06

      (laughs) That's what we do with, like, racist shit.

   3. JRJoe Rogan45:09

      They're fucking crazy. (laughs)

   4. ASAndrew Schulz45:10

      Didn't Burr have that bit about, like-

   5. JRJoe Rogan45:11

      Yes, yes, yes.

   6. ASAndrew Schulz45:12

      ... where you look around and then you slide in, "The thing about these..." (laughs)

   7. JRJoe Rogan45:15

      (laughs) Yeah. Yes. Well, this, women feel like i- it's, they've got momentum in this little war of ideas-

   8. ASAndrew Schulz45:23

      Right.

   9. JRJoe Rogan45:23

      ... with the Me Too movement-

   10. ASAndrew Schulz45:24

       Right.

   11. JRJoe Rogan45:24

       ... and the Bill Cosby getting arrested and R-

   12. ASAndrew Schulz45:26

       Yeah.

   13. JRJoe Rogan45:26

       ... Kelly getting arrested and Harvey Weinstein. C- it's just, I, in my opinion, and I bet you think this too, these are good things.

   14. ASAndrew Schulz45:33

       Yeah.

   15. JRJoe Rogan45:33

       When shitty men get put away or they get arrested-

   16. ASAndrew Schulz45:36

       Yeah.

   17. JRJoe Rogan45:37

       ... for abusing people-

   18. ASAndrew Schulz45:38

       Yeah.

   19. JRJoe Rogan45:38

       ... whether it's they're physically abusing men or physically abusing women, it's always good. You shouldn't be physically abusing people.

   20. ASAndrew Schulz45:45

       Yeah, get them out of here.

   21. JRJoe Rogan45:46

       Yeah.

   22. ASAndrew Schulz45:46

       We used to beat those guys up.

   23. JRJoe Rogan45:47

       Yes.

   24. ASAndrew Schulz45:47

       I mean, this is handled in the community when we were younger, teenagers. "Hey, blah, blah, blah, you know, was rough with this, th- whatever." Who was rough?

   25. JRJoe Rogan45:54

       Right.

   26. ASAndrew Schulz45:54

       And we went over that.

   27. JRJoe Rogan45:55

       Can you imagine if you were married and Harvey Weinstein tried to fuck your wife and she went in on an audition and you knew that there was all these-

   28. ASAndrew Schulz46:01

       It's over.

   29. JRJoe Rogan46:01

       ... security guards and all these fucking levels before you got to him, and your wife got into that level and he was treating her like shit and being mean to her and telling her, "If you want to work in this town, you gotta suck this little fat dick."

   30. ASAndrew Schulz46:14

       (laughs)
5. 1:00:00 – 1:04:52

   Yes. …

   1. JRJoe Rogan1:00:00

      genius work, right? So what is it about him that allows him to be so prolific as an artist? Do you ever notice how prolific he is?

   2. ASAndrew Schulz1:00:08

      Yes.

   3. JRJoe Rogan1:00:08

      The guy's constantly working-

   4. ASAndrew Schulz1:00:09

      At music.

   5. JRJoe Rogan1:00:09

      Constantly banging out songs. Con-... And there... There's... He doesn't have bad albums.

   6. ASAndrew Schulz1:00:14

      No, he's, he is phenomenal at music.

   7. JRJoe Rogan1:00:16

      Yeah.

   8. ASAndrew Schulz1:00:17

      Without a doubt, phenomenal at music.

   9. JRJoe Rogan1:00:18

      Right. But this is all from this energy that's inside of him. He figures out how to channel that energy and put it in good ways. But occasionally, like...

   10. ASAndrew Schulz1:00:25

       Joe Rogan is that crazy?

   11. JRJoe Rogan1:00:25

       ... it's not also, it's also not a coincidence, it's not a coincidence-

   12. ASAndrew Schulz1:00:29

       Yeah.

   13. JRJoe Rogan1:00:29

       ... that when Kanye was on stage, I think it was in San Jose-

   14. ASAndrew Schulz1:00:33

       Yeah.

   15. JRJoe Rogan1:00:33

       ... and he said that he didn't vote, but if he was gonna vote, he would've voted for Trump. And the crowd went crazy-

   16. ASAndrew Schulz1:00:38

       He did.

   17. JRJoe Rogan1:00:38

       ... and they booed the shit out of him. And then he canceled his tour, and then he went to a dement- mental health institute.

   18. ASAndrew Schulz1:00:43

       Right.

   19. JRJoe Rogan1:00:43

       All that shit happened together because he felt the pain of this. Then his response to that was to double down. His response to that was to attribute qualities to Trump that he doesn't even re- really have.

   20. ASAndrew Schulz1:00:54

       Right.

   21. JRJoe Rogan1:00:55

       And so Trump, in his, so- in a lot of ways, very wise the way he handles things socially. He let Kanye come into the White House-

   22. ASAndrew Schulz1:01:03

       Yeah.

   23. JRJoe Rogan1:01:04

       ... wear that MAGA hat, and just rant up a storm.

   24. ASAndrew Schulz1:01:06

       Yeah, yeah, yeah.

   25. JRJoe Rogan1:01:06

       So, so Kanye could define who Trump was. He could define what loving Trump meant.

   26. ASAndrew Schulz1:01:11

       Sure.

   27. JRJoe Rogan1:01:11

       He could define why Black people should, uh, should embrace Trump.

   28. ASAndrew Schulz1:01:14

       Right.

   29. JRJoe Rogan1:01:14

       He could define all this in his head to sort of justify w- what went wrong with him.

   30. ASAndrew Schulz1:01:19

       Right.

Episode duration: 3:11:32