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The Joe Rogan ExperienceThe Joe Rogan Experience

Joe Rogan Experience #1268 - Ron White

Ron White is a stand up comedian and actor, best known as a charter member of the Blue Collar Comedy Tour. His new special "If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up" is now streaming on Netflix.

Ron WhiteguestJoe RoganhostGuest (third person in studio, likely producer/companion)guest
Mar 20, 20192h 48mWatch on YouTube ↗

EVERY SPOKEN WORD

  1. 0:00 – 0:54

    Cold open: grape drink, going live, and the post-debate vibe

    1. RW

      Grape.

    2. JR

      Grape? Hmm. It is grape, look at you.

    3. RW

      Yeah.

    4. GP

      It's got a grape flavor.

    5. JR

      Grape.

    6. RW

      (laughs) It's grape. (laughs)

    7. JR

      Fucking nailed it.

    8. RW

      That's, that's where I got it. I looked at the-

    9. JR

      We live? Ron White, we're live.

    10. RW

      (coughs) Oh, we are?

    11. JR

      Yes, sir.

    12. RW

      Well, what a fancy beginning. (coughs)

    13. JR

      That's how I do it.

    14. RW

      (laughs) Right.

    15. JR

      I like to be professional. Cheers, my brother.

    16. RW

      Cheers. (glasses clinking) Cheers.

    17. JR

      Good to see you.

    18. RW

      Good to be here, man. Good to be here.

    19. JR

      Mm. Ah, delicious. Good to see you after that mentally intensive... (banging) Ugh, carbohydrate versus fat. I'm, I'm done. I can't-

    20. RW

      You, you genuinely came outta there looking ex- ex- exhausted.

    21. JR

      It was a rough debate. They were going back and forth. They didn't like each other. They were mocking each other a little bit, but hopefully people got some information out of it. Two good guys, they just, uh, different positions.

    22. RW

      They don't see eye to eye, Joe.

    23. JR

      Nope. What're you gonna do?

    24. RW

      What're you gonna do? Hear 'em out.

  2. 0:54 – 4:37

    Ron White’s weed-plane bust: drug dogs, vests, and a mugshot for the wall

    1. JR

      Exactly. What're you gonna do? What're you gonna do, Ron White? So, uh, apparently, Ron White, you have a mugshot that we can add to our collection.

    2. RW

      Yeah, I'll get one over here.

    3. JR

      I'm very excited.

    4. RW

      I'll have it framed and send it on up. Uh-

    5. JR

      Fuck yeah.

    6. RW

      Oh, I'll make, make sure it's, uh, small enough to put on that wall out there, you know.

    7. JR

      (laughs)

    8. RW

      So, it'll be a pretty big one. I, I, I'd like to have a pretty dominant spot over at the, uh-

    9. JR

      You... Tell me what you need.

    10. RW

      ... Experience.

    11. JR

      I'll give you a fucking six-foot-tall one, brother.

    12. RW

      All right, all right.

    13. JR

      (laughs)

    14. RW

      So, that's a six-foot tall, life-size.

    15. JR

      Get it printed.

    16. RW

      Yeah. (laughs)

    17. JR

      Yeah, get it printed. Fuck it.

    18. RW

      Yeah, it was a bad picture.

    19. JR

      Yeah.

    20. RW

      It went really bad.

    21. JR

      So, uh, this, we were, we were talking about this, this is, uh, you got busted for weed. Somebody ratted you out that there was weed on your plane.

    22. RW

      That, that... They didn't say there was weed on my plane. They said it was a drug smuggling plane.

    23. JR

      Oh.

    24. RW

      And, uh, so there's a hotline that you can call and they, they're just pilots that I'd fired. And, and, uh, and so I'm just sitting on the plane looking out the window and there's dr- drug dogs and people in vests and machine guns.

    25. JR

      Oh, geez.

    26. RW

      And I'm like, "What's going on out there?" Well... But, you know, as soon as they determined that that's not what it was, that I just had some personal weed that obviously somebody called in and lied-

    27. JR

      Yeah.

    28. RW

      ... instead of going and arresting that guy, they took me to jail. That makes no sense at all, and then, uh, in the newspaper, the sheriff goes, "Well, he might not have had much pot with him, but who knows how much he did have?" And who knows I didn't kill somebody?

    29. JR

      (laughs)

    30. RW

      How about we just put me up for murder right now?

  3. 4:37 – 7:42

    Sober October vs. “maintenance drinking”: Ron gets candid about alcohol

    1. RW

      See, 'cause now you guys had that soccer, uh, Sober October, and it looked like you were having a blast, I have to admit, sitting from the sideline. Just, "Oh boy, this sober thing looks like a blast." And, uh-

    2. JR

      (laughs)

    3. RW

      ... I did have a November to remember.

    4. JR

      (laughs)

    5. RW

      (laughs)

    6. JR

      Yeah, we had no Remember November. Um, yeah, Sober October is interesting. It's good to do every year. I like to do it. You think you'd ever do it?

    7. RW

      Nah, I don't think I could.

    8. JR

      Not a... How many days you think you'd take off?

    9. RW

      (inhales deeply) Uh, you know, really n- not one and be very happy about it.

    10. JR

      (laughs)

    11. RW

      I mean, I'm, I've, I've got a little touch of, uh, alcoholism that someday I'll either deal with or I won't. But, you know, it's, it's a maintenance thing with me, so...

    12. JR

      A maintenance as, as far as, uh, keeping your mindset correct? Just feeling good? Like, what is it?

    13. RW

      Yeah, you know, it's just a-

    14. JR

      Not give a fuck juice?

    15. RW

      I don't know. It, it's just something that s- I seem to require, you know. It, it's I, I can't wait for that first drink of the day. And then I usually drink, you know, pretty much to excess, um, every single night of my life. So, I mean, I'm not saying this is a good thing, and I'm certainly not bragging because I see people that are sober and I get jealous of 'em. I'm like, "Wow, what would that be like to, you know, wake up feeling good every day?" I, and I'm so committed to it. I don't understand that. I mean, I don't understand why I won't just let it go. Um, but it's, eh, you know, I know it's such a big part of, you know, who, who I, who people perceive me to be, but it's also just a big part of...... how I perceive me to be.

    16. JR

      Well, people who perceive you to be, they perceive you. Like, if anyone has ever asked me, "What's Ron White like?" I go, "What do you think he's like?" "Oh, great guy, dr- likes to drink a lot, always funny." Yeah, that's him.

    17. RW

      (laughs)

    18. JR

      (laughs) That's it. That's who, you, you, you ha- you have the benefit of... You don't have, uh, an act, like, you're not putting on an act, but you are a character. Like, you, you, that, but it's who you are. It's so much better. Like, if people found out you were some teetotaling guy. Like, have you ever seen somebody who drinks fake shots on stage?

    19. RW

      Yeah.

    20. JR

      Yeah, that's rough. That's a rough place to be.

    21. RW

      Yeah.

    22. JR

      Pretending to be boozing it up with the crowd.

    23. RW

      Yeah.

    24. JR

      Come on, folks. Let's get crazy.

    25. RW

      Well, and, you know, the, well, you know, Foster Brooks, who was the best, he, Foster Brooks was so good at being a drunk with a teetotaler, uh-

    26. JR

      Wasn't Dean Martin as well? Not a teetotaler, but he would pretend?

    27. RW

      Not, you know, I don't think so. And I hear that, but I've s-

    28. JR

      Yeah.

    29. RW

      I've seen him... Uh, when, when I did the Foxworthy roast, I went back and watched all those roasts.

    30. JR

      Yeah.

  4. 7:42 – 11:31

    Comedian as “character”: Dean Martin, Foster Brooks, and the trap of performing a persona

    1. JR

      Have you seen that show on, uh... I don't know if you watch, uh, any Amazon Prime. You ever see that show The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel? It's about a standup comic.

    2. RW

      No, I see, I hear about it all the time, and people are always saying it's really, really good.

    3. JR

      It's fucking great. It's fucking great.

    4. RW

      Like, I, I just finished, uh, s- something today, so, uh, I'm looking for the next, uh-

    5. JR

      Watch that, man, especially season one. Season one is, to see season two was great too, I enjoyed it, but people didn't give season two as much, uh, reward, e- as much props as they did s-... I like both seasons, but there's a woman in it, f- this is my point, who has an... She's putting on an act, like she's this really highfalutin lady who pretends to be this chick from Queens, and she puts on a fat suit and, and does this act, and, uh, it drives Mrs. Maisel fucking crazy. She hates it, and she talks shit about her, and it starts... Uh, spoiler alert. I won't say anymore, but it just... That trap of being a character.

    6. RW

      Right.

    7. JR

      Pretending to be something that you're not.

    8. RW

      I, you know, I think that's... And this might be a little bit of a stretch, Joe, I don't know, but, you know, the, the, it... I think that's why S- Steve Martin quit, because he was a parody of a comedian.

    9. JR

      Hmm.

    10. RW

      And, which was brilliant and s- and so funny. Uh, I, uh, Let's Get Small was one of my favorite albums ever.

    11. JR

      Amazing.

    12. RW

      And I, I took it with me everywhere I went and, and played it for people, and then took credit for how good it was.

    13. JR

      (laughs)

    14. RW

      Even though I really had very little to do with it, except for spending the money.

    15. JR

      I remember when I was a kid, I listened to that, long before I ever did standup. He was fucking great, man.

    16. RW

      Yeah, right, but-

    17. JR

      God damn, he was great.

    18. RW

      But he, and he was doing 45,000 people a night when he-

    19. JR

      Mm-hmm.

    20. RW

      ... when he quit.

    21. JR

      Yeah, I think that was the problem. I think he just got over... Uh, he, I think he's... Like a lot of comedians, they feel a lot, you know? They're not numb people, they feel a lot. And I think for him, like, this being-

    22. RW

      Maybe that's why I'm drinking every night. (laughs)

    23. JR

      Maybe, maybe.

    24. RW

      Yeah, yeah. I don't wanna get in touch with those feelings.

    25. JR

      (laughs) Well, everybody that's damaged feels a lot, and everybody that's a comic is damaged, you know? And I think, uh-

    26. RW

      I agree with that.

    27. JR

      ... I think with Steve Martin, he was just so big, man, I don't think... I think he's bigger than you or I combined. Like, he just would go on stage, and they would go fucking crazy. It didn't even make sense to people.

    28. RW

      Right, and-

    29. JR

      He would laugh at anything.

    30. RW

      ... and also difficult for him to perform.

  5. 11:31 – 14:24

    Comedy lineage: bridge builders, Pryor/Lenny/Kinison, and why some comics change the rules

    1. RW

      That's what I got, I got this theory that, uh, there's, uh, two kinds of comics, bridge builders and people that walk across those bridges.

    2. JR

      Hmm.

    3. RW

      I'm a big walker.

    4. JR

      Yeah. Yeah.

    5. RW

      I didn't invent any of this stuff. I think, uh...

    6. JR

      Well, you gotta go back to, like, Richard Pryor and Lenny Bruce. Those are the big ones. And then Kinison was a big one too.

    7. RW

      Yeah, Kinison, because Kinison taught us that somebody can genuinely not like you.

    8. JR

      Yeah.

    9. RW

      And you can still make 'em like it.

    10. JR

      Yeah.

    11. RW

      And, uh-

    12. JR

      But he also taught me that you can punch down as low as you want, as long as it's funny.

    13. RW

      Right, as long as it's funny, as long as you're good enough.

    14. JR

      That fucking bit that he had about starving children, to this day... I had an argument with a guy on the podcast about it where he was telling me that you, you, comedy only punches up. I go, "That's crazy." Kinison had two of the best bits of all time, they were both punching down. One was about starving kids, the other was about necrophiliacs paying money-

    15. RW

      Homosexuals and-

    16. JR

      ... to, to bang corpses.

    17. RW

      Yeah. (laughs) All right.

    18. JR

      But that's as down as you can get when you're fucking-

    19. RW

      Yeah, yeah.

    20. JR

      ... a dead body.

    21. RW

      Right, down.

    22. JR

      And both those bits were fucking genius.

    23. RW

      And it's the same with, uh, uh, uh, like, it's the same with 9/11, you know, if you're good enough...... of a writer-

    24. JR

      Yeah.

    25. RW

      ... you can do material about that. But if you, if, but if, but you better be good. Yeah.

    26. JR

      You better have somewhere to go. That is-

    27. RW

      Yeah, you better have somewhere to go. And, and I heard a couple of good pieces, I don't remember who did them, but, you know. Uh, but, like, the week afterwards, the guy that, uh, it was some guy that was the opening act, was trying to riff on it, and I got him over to the side and I said, "Hey, dude, not, uh... This is my stage right here."

    28. JR

      (laughs)

    29. RW

      "And normally I don't tell other comics what to do, uh, but until you have something to say about it that's, uh, that's really, really funny, you just, I don't want you bringing it up."

    30. JR

      Yeah, that's a t- that's a tough one, 'cause you could kill the whole show. Some middle act goes on and you lost friends in the Towers, and that was a week ago.

  6. 14:24 – 18:10

    ‘Too soon’ and backlash: 9/11 riffing, Patrice’s framing, and Ron’s Cosby joke

    1. RW

      All right. Well, you sent me a, a tweet about that Cosby bit that I did, and, uh-

    2. JR

      (laughs)

    3. RW

      It was really funny. And, uh, but it, it just stirred the pot so much. Like, "You, you think rape is good?"

    4. JR

      Yeah.

    5. RW

      "No, that's not what I said at all."

    6. JR

      Yeah. Right.

    7. RW

      "That's not what I said at all. I made a joke, that's it." Uh, and, and you do that too. I mean, you stir up the pot big time. It's great. Uh, and you'll just go watch this, and, uh...

    8. JR

      (laughs)

    9. RW

      (laughs) And then...

    10. JR

      You gotta have a point, though. And if you have a point and you, you really are trying real hard to be a good person, you just have a point. I just have a point on things. I'm gonna say it, you know, you might, you might get mad, but I'm n- I'm not saying it to be a bad guy. I'm saying it 'cause that's what I do for a living. It's what I do, f- we find things. You know? (laughs) Burr was telling me that he did, uh, Caroline's in, uh, New York City. He was like, "It was almost like a college gig." He's like, uh, "People are so sensitive now in New York."

    11. RW

      Oh, you know, he and I just did, uh, the VFW Hall in Hollywood and, uh, then, uh, the, and I was calling him about another comic that I wanted... I was just talking to him in the bar and thought he was really funny, um, and I now can't remember his name. Uh, Joe... DeRosa? DeRosa?

    12. JR

      Joe DeRosa.

    13. RW

      Yeah, Joe DeRosa.

    14. JR

      Yeah, sure.

    15. RW

      And I called him and he goes, "Yeah, no, he's really good." And, uh, and, and, uh, he goes, "How about I come over and do it?" And I'm like, "Well, of course, Bill. Whatever. You wanna do time on it, come on over." Well, (laughs) he was doing a bunch of Trump stuff and, and, uh, you know, and, and I guarantee you, my fans are pretty split down the middle, but it did not go over well, and he didn't give a fiddler's fuck about it.

    16. JR

      (laughs)

    17. RW

      And, uh, and so he (laughs) , so he just made him mad and stirred him up for about 20 minutes.

    18. JR

      (laughs)

    19. RW

      And, uh, and then we both... Uh, I did my set and we smoked a cigar, and, uh, he, uh, yeah, uh, you know, he's not drinking either for, uh, like a year or something like that. It was like that.

    20. JR

      Yeah, he looks great. He looks really good. He looks thin and healthy.

    21. RW

      Yeah, yeah, yeah.

    22. JR

      Yeah. The, the, Trump jokes are interesting because, uh, I don't remember anybody getting mad at you for Bush jokes.

    23. RW

      Right.

    24. JR

      Like, it's different.

    25. RW

      They were just jokes. Right.

    26. JR

      Yeah, yeah, yeah. Even if you were a, like, a Bush supporter, you could crack a joke about the way he spells potato or something's like... And nobody gave a fuck.

    27. RW

      Right.

    28. JR

      People didn't care. It was a different thing. Even if people were supporting him-

    29. RW

      It wasn't Bush, by the way, that spelled potato wrong. It was this bastard-

    30. JR

      Oh, that's right, it was Quayle.

  7. 18:10 – 24:33

    Politics, audiences, and volatility: why Trump jokes hit different

    1. RW

      Yeah, I almost got in a scuffle the other day at the gas station. Uh, this guy just starts spouting out stuff. He was putting gas in his car right over there and, uh, and i- and i- and i- and just, and by the first word, the sentence that came out of his mouth, from nowhere, hadn't said a word to the guy, didn't say hi to him, nothing, "Nancy Pelosi is the dumbest person that ever lived on this planet and, and, and I get baited so easy."

    2. JR

      (laughs)

    3. RW

      I just said, "Probably not."

    4. JR

      (laughs)

    5. GP

      (laughs)

    6. RW

      "Probably not. That, you're probably wrong. She's probably not..."Oh, Obama was an idiot. Uh, he graduated number one from Harvard Law, so...

    7. JR

      Yeah.

    8. RW

      Views, politically aside, we can start with, he's probably not stupid.

    9. JR

      (laughs)

    10. RW

      And what a good speaker.

    11. JR

      He was the best.

    12. RW

      Oh, yeah. He was smooth, man.

    13. JR

      The most presidential. He was a... He was a guy that you were happy to have represent you, whether you believe what, you know, believe in him and you support his ideas or not, as a, a representative of our culture, of our civilization, that guy was smooth and measured and articulate and-

    14. RW

      And off the book, you know?

    15. JR

      Yeah.

    16. RW

      Uh, uh, most of the time, you know, he was just... He was saying what he thought, and he wasn't reading off of, of scripted.

    17. JR

      Well-

    18. RW

      And-

    19. JR

      ... did you know the story about Clinton?

    20. RW

      We- I know s- (laughs) I know some.

    21. JR

      Well, I don't know (laughs) with the, with being off the book. Clinton was such a good orator that the teleprompter went off. It broke, like, five minutes into his fucking speech, and he did all that shit my memory, just did the whole-

    22. RW

      Yeah.

    23. JR

      ... goddamn thing by memory.

    24. RW

      You know, I played, uh, nine holes of golf with him.

    25. JR

      What was he like?

    26. RW

      And, uh, it was... Well, there's still security, secret service all around him.

    27. JR

      Right.

    28. RW

      And so it was a private, uh, golf course. Uh, Larry Ellison, uh, that owns Oracle-

    29. JR

      Oh, wow.

    30. RW

      ... uh, owns this private golf course that has four ten-... He's a big tennis guy, so he puts on the tennis stuff out in Palm Springs. And nobody plays his course, and he doesn't play golf. And, uh, uh, it's just his private... It's just a deal, you know?

  8. 24:33 – 28:48

    Anger and being “stuck”: diaper-foot rage and the tour-bus glass injury

    1. RW

      And I'll never be madder, and it happened when I was 16 years old, so it's hard to make me mad. And I'll tell you what made me mad. I had just got my driver's license. My mother asked me to go to the store to get something. It's in the summer in Houston. I don't have any shoes on. I open my door, step into a shitty Pampers-

    2. JR

      Oh.

    3. RW

      ... that somebody had just thrown in the parking lot, and my... And it...And I didn't just put a toe in and go, "Oh, that's baby shit. That's wrong." I just shoved my whole foot into it. Green baby shit coming through my toes.

    4. JR

      Yeah.

    5. RW

      Smears all over the diaper, right? So I'm stuck. I don't know what to do. I'm not gonna get back in my mother's car with this shitty foot. I can't go into the store with baby shit all over my foot. And I thought about just cutting my foot off and just leaving it in the diaper with a note that said, "You used to be a perfectly good fucking foot, dude." And nobody's ever made me that mad since. I was so fucking furious, and I just wanted to hate and kill-

    6. JR

      Wow.

    7. RW

      ... and bit over a shitty pamper.

    8. JR

      That's crazy that that was all it took.

    9. RW

      That's all it took. That's all it took. I-

    10. JR

      But-

    11. RW

      It was so...

    12. JR

      (coughs)

    13. RW

      It wa- you know, it just put me in a... But I, uh, I've been stuck before. Let me tell you about the other time I was stuck. This will get us off of politics. Um, I'm in my tour bus, and, uh, I'm partying with my buddy Steve, who's my best friend, my road manager who passed away. And, uh, and he never gets laid, but it looked like he had an angle on this girl. So I picked up my beer and went back to my bedroom, which I never do. I sit up there and drink with the guys, and I go back there just to go to sleep. But I don't never take booze back there or anything. And that... But I'd, I'd gone back there and laid down, and I put that, uh, Dos Equis bottle on the counter, and then we took off during the night. Well, I was real drunk, and Steve was real drunk, and the bottle falls off and breaks, and I don't hear it. So in the middle of the night, my bed sits high, 'cause you wanna try to get those beds towards the m- center, the, uh, 'cause it's on those axles anyway. But the closer it is to the center, the better it feels when you're in it. So you kind of slide off of it about an inch, and I, my foot (laughs) went into a, uh, the bottom of the beer bottle. It had a shard hanging off of it about an inch and a half long. And, uh, and I just... and I landed on it. Well, now I know exactly what it was. And, uh, and somebody had hit the master lights, so I can't turn the lights on. You have to go back and turn them on on the master switch. But I know that around me is broken glass everywhere, 'cause I understand what happened. I understand that bottle fell, broke, and I got it in my foot. So I pull my foot up, and I didn't know how big the shard was, and I just pull it out of there, blood just starts gushing out.

    14. JR

      Oh.

    15. RW

      Well, Steve's passed out in a bunk and he can't hear me. I can't get to a phone. I can't see. So what do I do? I just crawled back in bed and went to sleep and bled.

    16. JR

      Wow.

    17. RW

      And, uh, and Steve said the next morning it looked like somebody killed a hog in there.

    18. JR

      (laughs)

    19. RW

      And, uh, he (laughs) he just lifted up the sheet, him and the bus driver (laughs) and saw my foot, and they were like, "Ah, he's all right." (laughs) Just, uh...

    20. JR

      Jesus Christ. Did you, uh, d- did you worry about bleeding out? How much blood's-

    21. RW

      I, yeah, I didn't know what else to do.

    22. JR

      ... coming out of your foot?

    23. RW

      'Cause then the only option was to take another step.

    24. JR

      Right.

    25. RW

      And cut the other foot. And, uh-

    26. JR

      D- did you, did you have your phone with you?

    27. RW

      I wasn't within reach.

    28. JR

      (sighs)

    29. RW

      I was just stuck. And-

    30. JR

      There you go. Yeah.

  9. 28:48 – 40:15

    Golf obsession: daily play, club-comic life, Mexico memories, and the magic of a hole-in-one

    1. JR

      Yeah. Every day?

    2. RW

      Every day I can. Not every day, but every day I can.

    3. JR

      Golf is one of those games, man. Guys, just get fucking into golf.

    4. RW

      Yeah. It's, you know, it's... You know, look at, look at what you're into, you know? The, it, the, it, it, it's something that you do and you've always done and-

    5. JR

      Mm-hmm.

    6. RW

      ... and you just, you just keep doing it, you know? But-

    7. JR

      I get it.

    8. RW

      And I watch it on television like it's a soap opera. I just watched 80 hours of The Players.

    9. JR

      (laughs)

    10. RW

      It also gives me a reason not to exercise, you know? 'Cause I got this golf to watch.

    11. JR

      Yeah.

    12. RW

      And, uh, it...

    13. JR

      Well, it, it... Golf does give you some exercise though. That's a fact. You are walking around.

    14. RW

      It's better than being sedentary

    15. NA

      Yeah, that's right.

    16. JR

      ... yeah. You're walking around, and you're thinking, you know, and you're planning shit out, looking at the curves of the-

    17. RW

      Yeah, thinking-

    18. JR

      ... grass and yeah.

    19. RW

      ... and measuring and-

    20. JR

      Yeah.

    21. RW

      ... and trying to work out, solve problems-

    22. JR

      Yeah.

    23. RW

      ... and so, um-

    24. JR

      I get it. I'm just terrified, terrified I'll be one of you guys out there every day.

    25. RW

      Yeah, right. Now-

    26. JR

      I know... I have friends that go out every day. You-

    27. RW

      Oh. (laughs)

    28. JR

      ... you're one of them. But I-

    29. RW

      Oh, yeah.

    30. JR

      ... know other guys.

  10. 40:15 – 47:04

    Tiger Woods’ comeback and the brutality of athletic wear-and-tear

    1. GP

      Here's a-

    2. JR

      What's up?

    3. GP

      Here's Tiger and Tiger's back injury.

    4. JR

      Oh, no.

    5. GP

      He's had four back surgeries.

    6. JR

      Oh, no, he had another one?

    7. GP

      No, this isn't, like, yesterday or anything. This is from, uh-

    8. RW

      Oh.

    9. GP

      ... like a year or two ago.

    10. RW

      Oh, good.

    11. JR

      Wise announced that he had undergone anterior lumbar interbody fusion. Oh, that's fusing his dicks. Many thought, many thought... His discs, excuse me.

    12. GP

      (laughs)

    13. RW

      He fused his discs?

    14. JR

      Freud-

    15. RW

      Later than Joe.

    16. JR

      ... hello, Freud.

    17. GP

      (laughs)

    18. JR

      Many thought that his competitive golf career was over and his fourth surgery since March of 2014, which involved removing the L5-S1 intervertebral disc-

    19. RW

      Science.

    20. JR

      ... and then inserting fusion material to connect the L5 and S1 vertebrae. What?

    21. GP

      Hmm.

    22. JR

      Oh my God. Although he's apparently recovered quite well from the operation, the surgery is quite rare amongst professional golfers. One of the PGA player, Dudley Hart, had also, uh, had had a fusion in the same location as Woods. Fucking fusion's rough, man. That means there's no disc left.

    23. RW

      Right. And he, he won the, uh, uh, uh, the... whatever they call, the FedEx Cup, the last tournament of the year.

    24. JR

      Yeah.

    25. RW

      Uh, last year, Tiger won it. And so he came back from that injury.

    26. JR

      That's incredible.

    27. RW

      Oh, it is amazing. And I was there, uh, at East Lake in Atlanta and, uh, a- and I do all their, uh, all their charity stuff. Yeah, that's the footage of him going up the 18th green. He's about to win this thing. And this, this is the, the top 30 golfers in... on the PGA tour, which is the toughest tour there is.

    28. JR

      Look at all these people jazzing out.

    29. RW

      It's amazing.

    30. JR

      What a weird sport that everybody gets to run on the field and follow them.

  11. 47:04 – 56:55

    UFC life: Joe’s announcing schedule, Derrick Lewis chaos, and Conor’s “script” critique

    1. RW

      So, d-... What, what, uh... I know it's your show, but, uh, what... H- how many fights do you do now? And does anybody care about a fight you don't announce?

    2. JR

      T- oh, they'd s- for sure care. Yeah, I do, uh, 10 a year.

    3. RW

      10 a year.

    4. JR

      10 events a year. I'm doing, like, uh, the big pay-per-views, like 10 of them.

    5. RW

      Yeah.

    6. JR

      There's a lot of them that are overseas. I just... I'm traveling so fucking far.

    7. RW

      But they want you to be the voice, right?

    8. JR

      Well, um-

    9. RW

      And you just don't have the time, and-

    10. JR

      I just don't have the time.

    11. RW

      Yeah.

    12. JR

      I don't have the time with all... with the podcasts and with doing standup and, you know, making Netflix specials and shit.

    13. RW

      Right.

    14. JR

      There's just no time. But-

    15. RW

      Right. No, yeah, fuck no. I know there's no time.

    16. JR

      I like it better when I do it once a month, like once, like 10 times a year is basically once a month.

    17. RW

      Right.

    18. JR

      I like, I like that better because it seems-

    19. RW

      Yeah.

    20. JR

      ... like that's, um-

    21. RW

      And it's the higher profile stuff and-

    22. JR

      I don't mind the... Uh, there's a lot of fights that are not that high profile that I love.

    23. RW

      It's like they're Crosby, Stills, and Nash, and you're young.

    24. JR

      (laughs)

    25. RW

      Right? You just pop in and do the big shows and-

    26. JR

      Oh, that's funny.

    27. RW

      ... people, you know-

    28. JR

      Yeah, I-

    29. RW

      ... don't care as much, but, uh-

    30. JR

      I love doing it, man. I love doing it. I still do. But, um-

  12. 56:55 – 1:08:02

    Mental health and fandom: Mauro Ranallo, old wrestling heroes, and Ron’s first police run-in

    1. JR

      (clears throat) mental illness is a weird one, man. It's not like having-

    2. RW

      You walk away from it, um, uh, from watching the documentary of- of fan, you know, uh, going, even- even if you don't know anything about it. I loved wrestling when I was a kid, and, uh, I was a big Wahoo McDaniels fan.

    3. JR

      Who's Wahoo McDaniels?

    4. RW

      Oh, come on.

    5. JR

      I don't know, man. I don't know.

    6. RW

      Oh, damn.

    7. JR

      I came up during the Bob Backlund days.

    8. RW

      Yeah, this is, this guy, he was a Dallas Cowboy at one time, and he was from Midland, Texas, and he was a Cherokee Indian. And, uh, and, uh-

    9. JR

      Look at that guy. Look at the size of him.

    10. RW

      Oh, yeah. Look at him. (laughs) And he, and he looked like a comedian, right? He looked like Shakey Green or somebody, right?

    11. JR

      Yeah, he does. He looks like ... Yeah.

    12. RW

      Yeah.

    13. JR

      Who does he look like in that picture?

    14. RW

      So, he would, he- he would come out. Now, I- I, this is the first, my first encounter with the police.

    15. JR

      Look at him.

    16. RW

      My first encounter with the police.

    17. JR

      Buddy Hackett. That's who he looks like.

    18. RW

      Buddy Hackett, that is what it is.

    19. JR

      He's a jacked Buddy Hackett.

    20. RW

      Yeah. So I ... My- my- my cousin, who's a few years older than me, I'm- I'm visiting my, uh, relatives up in this little town north of Amarillo. Uh, and so we go down, down to Amarillo, 60 miles down to Amarillo, and he's gonna take us to the Sportatorium to watch, uh, The Super Inferno, who I hated. I mean, this was on local television all over the, you know, Texas, and they, and- and they, but one of the stops was there. And, uh, and- and so we went, and I, and I don't think I'd been to one yet. And it was my first one. And, uh, and I loved Wahoo McDaniels, 'cause he gets out there and just, and he comes back from anything, right?

    21. JR

      (laughs)

    22. RW

      You'll think he's out of it, but he ain't out of it. He just, he is amazing and fun. And, you know, I just loved him, loved him, loved him. And, uh, and I hated The Super Inferno 'cause he was like Russian or something, you know?

    23. JR

      (laughs)

    24. RW

      And you know, something that, that w- that was easy, you know, to hate 'cause we were ... All the propaganda we were getting about Russia was like, "Their women are ugly." I'm like, "No, they're not." You know, it took me a while. It was like, it- it, like it was almost like Phila- uh, uh, Pittsburgh. Because we talked so bad about, my relatives about Pittsburgh, 'cause they hated the Steelers, and I just had this image of Pittsburgh of this dark, cloudy, people bent over, gray in the face. And-

    25. JR

      Yeah.

    26. RW

      ... first time I drove into Pittsburgh, I was like, (laughs) I'm like, "This place is gorgeous. Look at this place. It's a blast. It- it's a hoot."

    27. JR

      Great place to perform.

    28. RW

      Oh, yeah. Yeah. It's, it's always, you know, it's always been a big, uh, a- a big stop for me. I mean, once I got out of the clubs.

    29. JR

      Yeah. Pittsburgh's great. Cleveland's another one that's very underrated.

    30. RW

      Yeah.

Episode duration: 2:48:58

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