Joe Rogan Experience #1268 - Ron White

1. 0:00 – 15:00

   Grape. …

   1. RWRon White0:00

      Grape.

   2. JRJoe Rogan0:00

      Grape? Hmm. It is grape, look at you.

   3. RWRon White0:03

      Yeah.

   4. GPGuest (third person in studio, likely producer/companion)0:04

      It's got a grape flavor.

   5. JRJoe Rogan0:04

      Grape.

   6. RWRon White0:05

      (laughs) It's grape. (laughs)

   7. JRJoe Rogan0:06

      Fucking nailed it.

   8. RWRon White0:07

      That's, that's where I got it. I looked at the-

   9. JRJoe Rogan0:09

      We live? Ron White, we're live.

   10. RWRon White0:11

       (coughs) Oh, we are?

   11. JRJoe Rogan0:12

       Yes, sir.

   12. RWRon White0:13

       Well, what a fancy beginning. (coughs)

   13. JRJoe Rogan0:14

       That's how I do it.

   14. RWRon White0:15

       (laughs) Right.

   15. JRJoe Rogan0:16

       I like to be professional. Cheers, my brother.

   16. RWRon White0:18

       Cheers. (glasses clinking) Cheers.

   17. JRJoe Rogan0:19

       Good to see you.

   18. RWRon White0:19

       Good to be here, man. Good to be here.

   19. JRJoe Rogan0:20

       Mm. Ah, delicious. Good to see you after that mentally intensive... (banging) Ugh, carbohydrate versus fat. I'm, I'm done. I can't-

   20. RWRon White0:32

       You, you genuinely came outta there looking ex- ex- exhausted.

   21. JRJoe Rogan0:36

       It was a rough debate. They were going back and forth. They didn't like each other. They were mocking each other a little bit, but hopefully people got some information out of it. Two good guys, they just, uh, different positions.

   22. RWRon White0:49

       They don't see eye to eye, Joe.

   23. JRJoe Rogan0:51

       Nope. What're you gonna do?

   24. RWRon White0:52

       What're you gonna do? Hear 'em out.

   25. JRJoe Rogan0:54

       Exactly. What're you gonna do? What're you gonna do, Ron White? So, uh, apparently, Ron White, you have a mugshot that we can add to our collection.

   26. RWRon White1:01

       Yeah, I'll get one over here.

   27. JRJoe Rogan1:03

       I'm very excited.

   28. RWRon White1:03

       I'll have it framed and send it on up. Uh-

   29. JRJoe Rogan1:05

       Fuck yeah.

   30. RWRon White1:06

       Oh, I'll make, make sure it's, uh, small enough to put on that wall out there, you know.
2. 15:00 – 30:00

   Oh, you know, he…

   1. JRJoe Rogan15:00

      good person, you just have a point. I just have a point on things. I'm gonna say it, you know, you might, you might get mad, but I'm n- I'm not saying it to be a bad guy. I'm saying it 'cause that's what I do for a living. It's what I do, f- we find things. You know? (laughs) Burr was telling me that he did, uh, Caroline's in, uh, New York City. He was like, "It was almost like a college gig." He's like, uh, "People are so sensitive now in New York."

   2. RWRon White15:24

      Oh, you know, he and I just did, uh, the VFW Hall in Hollywood and, uh, then, uh, the, and I was calling him about another comic that I wanted... I was just talking to him in the bar and thought he was really funny, um, and I now can't remember his name. Uh, Joe... DeRosa? DeRosa?

   3. JRJoe Rogan15:43

      Joe DeRosa.

   4. RWRon White15:43

      Yeah, Joe DeRosa.

   5. JRJoe Rogan15:43

      Yeah, sure.

   6. RWRon White15:45

      And I called him and he goes, "Yeah, no, he's really good." And, uh, and, and, uh, he goes, "How about I come over and do it?" And I'm like, "Well, of course, Bill. Whatever. You wanna do time on it, come on over." Well, (laughs) he was doing a bunch of Trump stuff and, and, uh, you know, and, and I guarantee you, my fans are pretty split down the middle, but it did not go over well, and he didn't give a fiddler's fuck about it.

   7. JRJoe Rogan16:13

      (laughs)

   8. RWRon White16:13

      And, uh, and so he (laughs) , so he just made him mad and stirred him up for about 20 minutes.

   9. JRJoe Rogan16:17

      (laughs)

   10. RWRon White16:18

       And, uh, and then we both... Uh, I did my set and we smoked a cigar, and, uh, he, uh, yeah, uh, you know, he's not drinking either for, uh, like a year or something like that. It was like that.

   11. JRJoe Rogan16:25

       Yeah, he looks great. He looks really good. He looks thin and healthy.

   12. RWRon White16:30

       Yeah, yeah, yeah.

   13. JRJoe Rogan16:30

       Yeah. The, the, Trump jokes are interesting because, uh, I don't remember anybody getting mad at you for Bush jokes.

   14. RWRon White16:38

       Right.

   15. JRJoe Rogan16:38

       Like, it's different.

   16. RWRon White16:39

       They were just jokes. Right.

   17. JRJoe Rogan16:40

       Yeah, yeah, yeah. Even if you were a, like, a Bush supporter, you could crack a joke about the way he spells potato or something's like... And nobody gave a fuck.

   18. RWRon White16:47

       Right.

   19. JRJoe Rogan16:47

       People didn't care. It was a different thing. Even if people were supporting him-

   20. RWRon White16:50

       It wasn't Bush, by the way, that spelled potato wrong. It was this bastard-

   21. JRJoe Rogan16:53

       Oh, that's right, it was Quayle.

   22. RWRon White16:54

       It was Quayle.

   23. JRJoe Rogan16:54

       Quayle, that's right. That's right.

   24. RWRon White16:55

       That's how these rumors get started, man.

   25. JRJoe Rogan16:57

       Yeah. It is how they get started.

   26. RWRon White16:58

       Yeah, you conspiracy dudes over here.

   27. JRJoe Rogan17:00

       (laughs)

   28. RWRon White17:00

       Blowing off this who spelled potato wrong shit.

   29. JRJoe Rogan17:03

       Oh, that's right, it was him. Um, Bush fucked some things up too though, didn't he?

   30. RWRon White17:09

       Well...
3. 30:00 – 45:00

   Ah, yeah. …

   1. RWRon White30:00

      and it, and it, it's always back when I was a club comic. That's how I killed the day.

   2. JRJoe Rogan30:03

      Ah, yeah.

   3. RWRon White30:03

      I started playing when I was like 13, and so I would just go to a golf course and, you know, schmooze out a deal where I could play golf there every day. And then you ain't have jack shit to do during the day at clubs for 15 years.

   4. JRJoe Rogan30:14

      Right.

   5. RWRon White30:14

      You know, I'm doing 48 weeks.

   6. JRJoe Rogan30:16

      Right.

   7. RWRon White30:17

      (laughs) And making $500 a week or whatever it was when I started, and you know, it was a middle act out there. You had to work them all-

   8. JRJoe Rogan30:24

      Yeah.

   9. RWRon White30:24

      ... you, you know, 'cause you needed the $500 real bad.

   10. JRJoe Rogan30:27

       Yeah.

   11. RWRon White30:28

       You-

   12. JRJoe Rogan30:28

       Do you ever look back on those days, with, with, like, do you reminisce?

   13. RWRon White30:32

       I, you know what? I... It's, it's a good thing for me that this was the path of least resistance.

   14. JRJoe Rogan30:40

       (laughs)

   15. RWRon White30:40

       Right? 'Cause, uh, 'cause if it wasn't for standup, I'd be a regional marijuana distributor in the state of Texas in a, i- i- in a, in an industry that has some questions coming up. So, uh, you know, I, I did it because I loved it, but it was also fun, fun, fun, you know. Uh...... and, uh, and, and it was easy for me. I didn't mind the travel because I, I liked drinking free in bars and, and, uh, and, and, you know, y- you know, practicing this art form. And, you know-

   16. JRJoe Rogan31:14

       Yeah.

   17. RWRon White31:14

       ... and I, but I never ever thought it would, you know, go where it went. You know? If, uh ... You know, people ask me, they're like, "How do I do that?" I'm like, "F- I don't even know how I did it."

   18. JRJoe Rogan31:24

       (laughs)

   19. RWRon White31:24

       And I was right there when it happened. That was ... I have no idea. I barely remember it.

   20. JRJoe Rogan31:29

       Didn't you live in Mexico for a little bit?

   21. RWRon White31:32

       Mm-hmm. In fact, there's a really, really, really good PGA player from, uh, the same town I lived in, uh, that, that played golf every day where I played golf. I didn't know him. He was young. He would've been at ... Let's figure it out. It would've, he would've been, he's like 21 or 22 now. And, uh, he was in, he was on the, in the heat for, uh, this tournament. His name is, uh, Abraham Answer is his name. And, uh, born in Reynosa, Mexico. Well, he was actually born across the border-

   22. JRJoe Rogan32:03

       Hmm.

   23. RWRon White32:03

       ... 'cause there's no wall, right? (laughs) They can just come over there and have a baby. So that ... and but his parents must have been fairly well off for that part of the world, you know, to, to do that. But he's great. He's great. And I dig it because, uh, I, you know, and I see where he came from exactly-

   24. JRJoe Rogan32:19

       Mm-hmm.

   25. RWRon White32:19

       ... you know? It's where my son made a hole in one when he was eight years old, was on the Capeste Golf Course in Reynosa, Mexico. That's-

   26. JRJoe Rogan32:24

       How many holes in one does a guy get in his career?

   27. RWRon White32:29

       Uh, I've had one. Uh, my son's had one. You know, uh, it, uh, like the-

   28. JRJoe Rogan32:36

       (coughs)

   29. RWRon White32:36

       The big guys, maybe 16, 17, 18, the-

   30. JRJoe Rogan32:39

       In a, in a whole life.
4. 45:00 – 1:00:00

   Yeah. …

   1. JRJoe Rogan45:00

      And both of his knees are basically bone on bone, can't run anymore, um-

   2. RWRon White45:04

      Yeah.

   3. JRJoe Rogan45:04

      ... had all kinds of crazy outcomes. Well-

   4. RWRon White45:05

      And he still fights?

   5. JRJoe Rogan45:06

      ... limping. (blows air) Destroys people.

   6. RWRon White45:08

      With no knees.

   7. JRJoe Rogan45:08

      Doesn't just fight, he destroys people. He's the best. He just beat Tyron Woodley, who was the best before him. It's fucking crazy. I mean, when they-

   8. RWRon White45:15

      I laugh so hard when that guy goes, "My balls got hot."

   9. JRJoe Rogan45:18

      (laughs)

   10. RWRon White45:18

       And you go... That was the best com- Uh, the best thing you could've possibly said was, "I understand." (laughs)

   11. JRJoe Rogan45:24

       Yeah. (laughs)

   12. RWRon White45:24

       That's-

   13. JRJoe Rogan45:24

       I love that guy.

   14. RWRon White45:25

       Uh, oh, man.

   15. JRJoe Rogan45:26

       Derrick Lewis is a... He's a, he's a genius. He figured out a way to be himself. Have you ever go to his Instagram page?

   16. RWRon White45:32

       No, not at all. No.

   17. JRJoe Rogan45:33

       If, if, if there's anything fucking crazy going on in the world, Derrick Lewis has it on his Instagram page. (laughs)

   18. RWRon White45:39

       Yeah.

   19. JRJoe Rogan45:39

       His Instagram page is the best. People found out about it, I gave him a shout-out to his Instagram page on, uh, one of the UFC broadcasts, and, uh, now, it's got like... What does he have? How many followers does he have now?

   20. GPGuest (third person in studio, likely producer/companion)45:48

       1.6 million.

   21. JRJoe Rogan45:49

       1.6 million. (laughs)

   22. RWRon White45:51

       (laughs)

   23. JRJoe Rogan45:52

       Ah! It's that good, though.

   24. RWRon White45:53

       Yeah.

   25. JRJoe Rogan45:53

       His... It's fucking chaos. He always gets videos deleted and removed, but apparently they leave them up there. I mean, they're not threatening to take them down, I don't think. I hope not.

   26. RWRon White46:01

       Right. I-

   27. JRJoe Rogan46:01

       I mean, it's where I go to, to see-

   28. RWRon White46:02

       I'll go take a look at it. I-

   29. JRJoe Rogan46:03

       Any fucking dummy that's trying to, like, l- l- b- like, light a bomb under a tire and fly through the air-

   30. RWRon White46:09

       Yeah, yeah.
5. 1:00:00 – 1:07:36

   It, you know, it's…

   1. JRJoe Rogan1:00:01

   2. RWRon White1:00:01

      It, you know, it's great. Uh, I went to the memorial in, uh-

   3. JRJoe Rogan1:00:05

      Brodie's?

   4. RWRon White1:00:06

      Yeah.

   5. JRJoe Rogan1:00:06

      Yeah.

   6. RWRon White1:00:06

      And, uh, you know, I'd like to just tell your listeners that you never know when it's gonna be the last time you see somebody. So don't ever, ever hesitate to say, "I'm gonna need that money."

   7. JRJoe Rogan1:00:19

      (laughs)

   8. RWRon White1:00:19

      But you- you gotta ... Right? You can't do it later. You know, you can't get it from their mother at the funeral. You know, you can't do that, so ...

   9. JRJoe Rogan1:00:28

      Very good point.

   10. RWRon White1:00:29

       Yeah. So don't forget that.

   11. JRJoe Rogan1:00:30

       Every time I saw Brodie, I gave him a hug. That's one thing that Brodie and I always had in common with, always, always. Every single time I saw Brodie, I gave him a big hug. Like, he was a big hugger.

   12. RWRon White1:00:42

       Yeah. You- yeah, you know, I- I only knew him as a brother, you know. I- I, you know, I- I feel important, I feel like it's important to me to be a part of the comedy community, you know, participate in it. You, if- if- if you're out there and you're a comedian and you want to be a comedian, you can be a comedian, but you gotta go be a comedian.

   13. JRJoe Rogan1:01:02

       Yeah.

   14. RWRon White1:01:02

       And you gotta do it every day.

   15. JRJoe Rogan1:01:04

       Yeah.

   16. RWRon White1:01:04

       You know, every, or, you know, for- for the most part, and I know you're the same way. I mean, I know that you, that you'd never pass up an opportunity to get behind a microphone, whether it's the 8 or 10 million people to listen to this or the, or 65 people in a whatever. It doesn't matter. Doesn't matter to me.

   17. JRJoe Rogan1:01:20

       You gotta do it all-

   18. RWRon White1:01:21

       And, yeah.

   19. JRJoe Rogan1:01:21

       ... all the time. It's the only way to do it.

   20. RWRon White1:01:23

       Right. And- and- and I- I-

   21. JRJoe Rogan1:01:23

       If you don't do it all the time, you lose the touch with the reality of it.

   22. RWRon White1:01:27

       And- and- and also, it's pace, rhythm, be- and- and how comfortable you are in any situation. You know, this situation is just me and you talking.... or 26 people. I played The Laughing Skull in Atlanta to 65 people, sold out. It's one of the hottest rooms I've ever had my hands on.

   23. JRJoe Rogan1:01:43

       I love that joint.

   24. RWRon White1:01:44

       Oh, isn't that cool as shit?

   25. JRJoe Rogan1:01:44

       I did that place.

   26. RWRon White1:01:45

       Yeah. Th-

   27. JRJoe Rogan1:01:46

       I did that place a couple years ago.

   28. RWRon White1:01:47

       Yeah, that was my hang when I lived out there. (whooshing)

   29. JRJoe Rogan1:01:49

       What a great place to practice.

   30. RWRon White1:01:50

       Yeah. Oh, it was. It was great. It's a s-

Episode duration: 2:48:58