Joe Rogan Experience #1269 - Bryan Callen

1. 0:00 – 15:00

   Five, four, three, two,…

   1. JRJoe Rogan0:01

      Five, four, three, two, one. (sniffs)

   2. NANarrator0:06

      Rolling.

   3. JRJoe Rogan0:09

      (sighs) Yes, and we're live. Joe Rogan, Callen. We are live on the internet.

   4. BCBryan Callen0:16

      In cashmere right now, everybody, in cashmere.

   5. JRJoe Rogan0:18

      Uh, h- how come, how come you don't wear watches? You were just saying that.

   6. BCBryan Callen0:20

      I don't wear, I don't, I was thinking, because I was saying to Brennan, I go, "You could rob my house and there's nothing you'd find of value." Like, there's not a fucking thing.

   7. JRJoe Rogan0:27

      Mm-hmm. Steal your car.

   8. BCBryan Callen0:29

      Oh, fuck, okay. Oh, no. I'm... (laughs)

   9. JRJoe Rogan0:32

      (laughs)

   10. BCBryan Callen0:32

       I don't give a shit.

   11. JRJoe Rogan0:33

       But do you w- wonder why you make money then?

   12. BCBryan Callen0:36

       Uh, yeah. Well, well, I was thinking about-

   13. JRJoe Rogan0:37

       You got a lot of money, right?

   14. BCBryan Callen0:38

       I do.

   15. JRJoe Rogan0:38

       You could probably, like, not work for years.

   16. BCBryan Callen0:40

       I, yeah, I have enough m- I make money.

   17. JRJoe Rogan0:42

       Yeah.

   18. BCBryan Callen0:42

       But, but, uh, I never th- I, I was thinking about that too. I can, I, genuinely, I did some soul searching about this because I watch how-

   19. JRJoe Rogan0:49

       Mm-hmm.

   20. BCBryan Callen0:49

       ... motivated Schaub is. He's so buttoned down about his stuff. He's just always coming up with ideas and-

   21. JRJoe Rogan0:54

       Yeah.

   22. BCBryan Callen0:55

       I don't think I ever gave two fucks for real about fame or money. Uh, and I still don't. I have a very precarious relationship with that.

   23. JRJoe Rogan1:05

       Mm-hmm.

   24. BCBryan Callen1:05

       What I love is coming up with new ideas and writing new standup and, you know, uh, like now, uh, n- having done the album now, I gotta come up with a whole new bag of tricks. That, that's a really fun time. I'm probably more happy or never as happy as when I'm on the road at some cafe somewhere coming up, solving problems, coming up with-

   25. JRJoe Rogan1:24

       Mm-hmm.

   26. BCBryan Callen1:24

       ... new ideas and surprising myself. Everything else, you know, eh. I, I like hanging with my boys and laughing and-

   27. JRJoe Rogan1:30

       Do you like having a nice house? Do you get any pleasure out of having a nice house?

   28. BCBryan Callen1:34

       Yeah, but, uh, I could live, uh, and have lived in rudimentary places and I have, I don't notice.

   29. JRJoe Rogan1:41

       Yeah, I noticed that when I, when I first started making money. Uh, d- you get, everything gets normal.

   30. BCBryan Callen1:47

       Mm-hmm.
2. 15:00 – 30:00

   Ooh. …

   1. BCBryan Callen15:00

      and they make me angry, and I don't know how to, I don't, how to react. But, you know, instead of fretting about it, I create. You know, Michelangelo, my favorite quote, "Criticize by creating."

   2. JRJoe Rogan15:09

      Ooh.

   3. BCBryan Callen15:09

      It's a great fucking quote. He said that.

   4. JRJoe Rogan15:10

      Well, that's beautiful.

   5. BCBryan Callen15:11

      Yeah, he said that. He said, "Criticize by creating." I always think about that because that's kind of... Uh, when I look at my body of work and the progression of my, my specials, for example, like Man Class is a little too, you know, just about being funny and a silly goose, then Never Grow Up, a little more personal about my dad. But then, this last one, Complicated Apes, where's my camera?

   6. JRJoe Rogan15:32

      Wait, is that out right now?

   7. BCBryan Callen15:33

      It's out right now.

   8. JRJoe Rogan15:33

      Oh, my God. Is this the number one iTunes comedy album-

   9. BCBryan Callen15:36

      Dude, do, do we have to rank things?

   10. JRJoe Rogan15:38

       ... right now in the world?

   11. BCBryan Callen15:38

       Apparently, it's crushing anywhere you can-

   12. JRJoe Rogan15:40

       But I heard it's number one in the world.

   13. BCBryan Callen15:41

       Dude, where you can rent and buy, I guess Complicated Apes is doing very well.

   14. JRJoe Rogan15:44

       That's amazing.

   15. BCBryan Callen15:44

       If you wanna get it and laugh hard and, and learn...

   16. JRJoe Rogan15:46

       I feel like we should celebrate-

   17. BCBryan Callen15:47

       Listen, this is not about-

   18. JRJoe Rogan15:49

       ... the show goes on with round one.

   19. BCBryan Callen15:49

       This is not about promoting my special.

   20. JRJoe Rogan15:51

       I feel like we should.

   21. BCBryan Callen15:51

       (laughs)

   22. JRJoe Rogan15:52

       I feel like you should promote it a little bit.

   23. BCBryan Callen15:53

       All right, fine. Get Complicated Apes. Let's just get that out of the way.

   24. JRJoe Rogan15:55

       It's out right now, right?

   25. BCBryan Callen15:56

       I guess it's out right now.

   26. JRJoe Rogan15:57

       You can get it on iTunes.

   27. BCBryan Callen15:58

       Or anywhere you rent or buy your material.

   28. JRJoe Rogan16:00

       So if you have, like, Apple TV, you could just watch it on your TV.

   29. BCBryan Callen16:02

       You can get it on Xbox or PlayStation.

   30. JRJoe Rogan16:03

       Ooh.
3. 30:00 – 45:00

   Right. …

   1. BCBryan Callen30:00

      your solution in court and there's all kinds of stalemates, which probably is a good thing so things don't get too... They don't swing too far in either direction.

   2. JRJoe Rogan30:07

      Right.

   3. BCBryan Callen30:07

      Uh, universal basic income, universal healthcare, gun control. These are actually fairly complicated issues. You know, I don't want spree shooters, you know, but when you get down to it and, and you hear people who are really educated on the subject of guns, they can get you twisted up in an argument if you start talking about gun control because you realize this is a complicated issue, and maybe it's a mental health issue, maybe it's a thousand issu- you know, a thousand things.

   4. JRJoe Rogan30:31

      Well, it's certainly a mental health issue.

   5. BCBryan Callen30:32

      There's a lot of issues with it, but-

   6. JRJoe Rogan30:33

      The, uh, the u- the ability that someone has to do what... Is it, was it only one guy? More than one person got arrested in New Zealand, correct?

   7. BCBryan Callen30:40

      No, I think it was just one guy.

   8. NANarrator30:42

      Yeah, but, uh, yeah, more than... They got arrested, but only one shooter-

   9. JRJoe Rogan30:45

      Yeah.

   10. NANarrator30:45

       ... as far as I know.

   11. JRJoe Rogan30:45

       So the other ones were planning it? Is that what it was?

   12. NANarrator30:47

       They thought they were... Maybe, yeah, yeah.

   13. JRJoe Rogan30:48

       Maybe.

   14. BCBryan Callen30:48

       No, I think he was... Yeah. But m- my, my thing is that-

   15. JRJoe Rogan30:50

       But my point is-

   16. BCBryan Callen30:51

       Yeah.

   17. JRJoe Rogan30:51

       ... like, you have to be ill. There's no other way.

   18. BCBryan Callen30:54

       Of course you do. Of course you do.

   19. JRJoe Rogan30:54

       Is t- you have to be mentally ill, you know, in order to do that.

   20. BCBryan Callen30:56

       Yeah.

   21. JRJoe Rogan30:57

       Now, I want you to think about the fact there's more guns than there are people.

   22. BCBryan Callen31:00

       Mm-hmm.

   23. JRJoe Rogan31:01

       So in this country alone, there's 300-plus million people, there's more than 300 million guns.

   24. BCBryan Callen31:06

       Mm-hmm.

   25. JRJoe Rogan31:06

       Relatively speaking...... the number of mass shootings is incredibly small-

   26. BCBryan Callen31:12

       Right.

   27. JRJoe Rogan31:12

       ... in comparison to the amount of guns and the amount of sick people.

   28. BCBryan Callen31:16

       Mm-hmm.

   29. JRJoe Rogan31:16

       And how many people are sick who don't become mass shooters?

   30. BCBryan Callen31:19

       Right.
4. 45:00 – 1:00:00

   I sang- …

   1. BCBryan Callen45:00

      you wear a fucking ... Do you wear a clown nose?

   2. JRJoe Rogan45:03

      I sang-

   3. BCBryan Callen45:03

      Burn.

   4. JRJoe Rogan45:03

      ... singing-

   5. BCBryan Callen45:03

      I just double burned him now.

   6. JRJoe Rogan45:05

      Singing a song. I was singing, singing.

   7. BCBryan Callen45:07

      Sing.

   8. JRJoe Rogan45:07

      Belsene. Um, yeah, it's not good. Um, there's probably some real benefits to ice baths. The benefit of, um, cryo over ice baths is you could work out right afterwards.

   9. BCBryan Callen45:16

      Oh, wow.

   10. JRJoe Rogan45:17

       Ice baths, they recommend you not work out.

   11. BCBryan Callen45:19

       Hmm.

   12. JRJoe Rogan45:19

       They're like, "You just chill out for a while."

   13. BCBryan Callen45:21

       Yeah.

   14. JRJoe Rogan45:21

       But it's great after working out. But for muscle strength and development, it's actually not good to do it right after training. You actually should wait quite a while, like maybe an hour or two.

   15. BCBryan Callen45:33

       So when you ... You've been ... You've had s- countless conversations with cutting edge scientists and exercise people.

   16. JRJoe Rogan45:40

       Yeah.

   17. BCBryan Callen45:40

       The five things that you do every day, like, that, that ... without fail. What are they in terms of for your health?

   18. JRJoe Rogan45:47

       Uh, first of all, I supplement. I think you-

   19. BCBryan Callen45:50

       You believe in supplements?

   20. JRJoe Rogan45:51

       I believe absolutely wholeheartedly in supplements. I do not-

   21. BCBryan Callen45:54

       Like which, though? What kind?

   22. JRJoe Rogan45:55

       Um, I take Athletic Greens. It's a, it's a sponsor. Um, they have a ... It's a great whole food supplement. I'm doing an ad for them right now. One, one serving has 12, one scoop has 12 servings of, uh, fruits and vegetables in terms of the amount of antioxidants you get.

   23. BCBryan Callen46:12

       Jesus.

   24. JRJoe Rogan46:12

       It's very healthy. It's good just for, like, a backup plan.

   25. BCBryan Callen46:15

       Right.

   26. JRJoe Rogan46:15

       Like, I take these little packs with me on the road. Um, I take a lot of the Onnit shit. I take, uh, obviously Alpha Brain-

   27. BCBryan Callen46:24

       I use Shroom Tech. That shit works.

   28. JRJoe Rogan46:25

       ... Shroom Tech, you know. W- we have some awesome whole food supplements. There's a bunch of great stuff. Um, I take a lot of vitamins. I take vitamin D. I take vitamin B. I take a lot of fish oil-

   29. BCBryan Callen46:38

       Mm-hmm.

   30. JRJoe Rogan46:38

       ... a lot of essential fatty acids. I believe in all those things. I cut way back on my sugar, I mean way back-
5. 1:00:00 – 1:04:48

   (clears throat) …

   1. JRJoe Rogan1:00:00

      character.

   2. BCBryan Callen1:00:00

      (clears throat)

   3. JRJoe Rogan1:00:01

      Who, um, he came up with this Bo Dog fight thing. And it was back when you used to be able to gamble online, right? You were able to gamble online. Now you can't again, but you, you used to be able to gamble online.

   4. BCBryan Callen1:00:13

      Mm-hmm.

   5. JRJoe Rogan1:00:13

      And a lot of businesses were sort of constructed around the premise that online gambling was going to be legal. But through some bullshit finagling, the federal government put the kibosh on online gambling. They put the stop on this thriving business.

   6. BCBryan Callen1:00:29

      Right.

   7. JRJoe Rogan1:00:29

      And a lot of these companies, like, uh, there was professional pool organizations, like the IPT that went under because they were counting on online gambling. But Bo Dog was counting on it too 'cause he had, like, this online gambling website. Well, because of the, the online gambling shit, he's like ... I don't wanna say this, I don't wanna be incorrect 'cause Dana White was saying that he's a fugitive and he wasn't even allowed in the country. But that's not too far removed from the truth.

   8. NANarrator1:00:56

      Hm.

   9. JRJoe Rogan1:00:56

      I don't think he's allowed back in the United States. I think he has-

   10. BCBryan Callen1:01:01

       He's-

   11. JRJoe Rogan1:01:01

       ... to live in, like, you know-

   12. BCBryan Callen1:01:02

       Just for providing a service people wanted to be part of?

   13. JRJoe Rogan1:01:05

       Well, for do-

   14. NANarrator1:01:06

       (clears throat)

   15. JRJoe Rogan1:01:06

       For being a part of online gambling when it was illegal. I think that's the issue.

   16. BCBryan Callen1:01:10

       Oh, no. (laughs)

   17. JRJoe Rogan1:01:11

       It's fucking stupid.

   18. BCBryan Callen1:01:13

       I mean, people, you know, let people do what they will. I, I think you should have ... It'd be cool if you could bet on fights.

   19. JRJoe Rogan1:01:18

       Tyron Woodley versus Kamaru Usman. So-

   20. BCBryan Callen1:01:19

       The fighters would get more money and everything.

   21. JRJoe Rogan1:01:21

       We'll see what, uh, Tyron ... Uzman looks jacked. Let's see what Tyron looks like when he gets into the cage. Da, da, da, da, da. See, to me, he looked exactly the same. Let's see what happens when he takes his shirt off. Hurry up, Tyron.

   22. BCBryan Callen1:01:35

       I mean, he's a beast.

   23. JRJoe Rogan1:01:36

       Yeah. I just don't think that was it, man. I mean, you're also dealing with Tyron. He's 37 now. He is also in the middle of, uh ... He's in a transitionary stage in terms of his career.

   24. BCBryan Callen1:01:51

       See, he doesn't look, uh, quite as jacked.

   25. JRJoe Rogan1:01:53

       Yeah. But he's, he's like-

   26. BCBryan Callen1:01:54

       And-

   27. JRJoe Rogan1:01:55

       ... not ... I mean he's not-

   28. BCBryan Callen1:01:56

       Look, I mean, he's a beast. I mean, I'm, you know, I'm just-

   29. JRJoe Rogan1:01:58

       He looks pretty goddamn good to me. I mean-

   30. BCBryan Callen1:02:00

       Yeah. He always does. But I-

Episode duration: 2:48:10