Joe Rogan Experience #1273 - Ron Funches

1. 0:00 – 2:23

   Performing emotion: real vs “fake” anger in stand-up and acting

   1. RFRon Funches0:00

      ... the difference I'm learning between when I do comedy and acting is that, like, the last thing people really wanna see from y- you on stage is you really get emotional.

   2. JRJoe Rogan0:08

      Yeah.

   3. RFRon Funches0:08

      You know? But when you act, you have to go to that (snaps fingers) right away.

   4. JRJoe Rogan0:13

      Big difference. (clicking sound) We're live? Is it working?

   5. JVJamie Vernon0:16

      Just, just got it up, yeah.

   6. JRJoe Rogan0:17

      Oh, my Jesus.

   7. JVJamie Vernon0:17

      Just started working just now.

   8. RFRon Funches0:18

      (laughs)

   9. JRJoe Rogan0:18

      Right at the end of that.

   10. RFRon Funches0:19

       A candid moment. No, I, I think you're totally right. We're ... Ron Funches and I were talking about people getting mad. First of all, welcome to the show, sir. Thanks for having me.

   11. JRJoe Rogan0:26

       Thanks for being here, man. Appreciate it.

   12. RFRon Funches0:28

       Of course.

   13. JRJoe Rogan0:28

       Um, we were talking about people getting emo- getting emotional on stage, if people get angry on stage that, um, it shows. The audience can feel it. You could say the exact same words and with, with, like, a fake anger, as we were saying, like, Brody was really good at. Like, he'd, he would fake be mad at you.

   14. RFRon Funches0:45

       Yeah.

   15. JRJoe Rogan0:45

       And it was, it was-

   16. RFRon Funches0:46

       Lewis Black.

   17. JRJoe Rogan0:47

       Yes.

   18. RFRon Funches0:47

       Yeah.

   19. JRJoe Rogan0:48

       If you could see those exact same words, there's, like, a smile to it, right? You were saying that there's a nod or a hint-

   20. RFRon Funches0:54

       Mm.

   21. JRJoe Rogan0:54

       ... hint of a nod.

   22. RFRon Funches0:55

       Yeah, there's a little wink that lets you know that this isn't ... this is a joke.

   23. JRJoe Rogan0:59

       Yeah.

   24. RFRon Funches0:59

       I'm not really this mad about it. And there's usually an absurdity of the ... about the thing they're mad at.

   25. JRJoe Rogan1:04

       Yes.

   26. RFRon Funches1:05

       You know?

   27. JRJoe Rogan1:05

       Yeah.

   28. RFRon Funches1:05

       When you get ... We also see those sets sometimes when, like, someone's recently broken up with somebody-

   29. JRJoe Rogan1:11

       Oh.

   30. RFRon Funches1:11

       ... or something and then you, like ... You get that real anger.
2. 2:23 – 4:12

   Comedy as hypnosis and “time travel” on stage

   1. JRJoe Rogan2:23

      Yeah. It's a ... It's a very strange art form. Like, o- one of the strangest ever. It's u- ... 'Cause it's a ... I've ... I always have said it's almost like a form of mass hypnosis. Do you feel that sometimes? Like, when-

   2. RFRon Funches2:35

      Mm-hmm.

   3. JRJoe Rogan2:35

      ... you're in the middle of a set and you're in the groove?

   4. RFRon Funches2:38

      Yeah. Um, a lot of ways. Um, one of, um ... This is gonna get a little ... I mean, you ... and you're a weird guy, so it doesn't matter. (laughs)

   5. JRJoe Rogan2:46

      (laughs)

   6. JVJamie Vernon2:46

      (laughs)

   7. RFRon Funches2:47

      But it's gonna get weird in multiple ways. But, um, when I first started in my acting class, um, I was talking about that w- w- with my acting coach, and I'd be like, there's a point, like, if my set's really going well, where I'm in the present moment of enjoying the set and saying these words, but at the same time, I'm, I'm in the future thinking about what's coming next. I'm surveying everything that's going around me and I'm also still kind of, like, judging myself off of what just happened. And so this thing happens where you're kind of, like, time traveling in a way.

   8. JRJoe Rogan3:21

      Mm.

   9. RFRon Funches3:21

      Where you don't exist in any one space of time. You, you just kind of, like, remove yourself from that. And when your set's going really well, that's the thing that m- uh, my girlfriend and I have talked about is that, you can hear these sets and hear these jokes may ... You could see someone's set multiple time, but if they're really good, oftentimes, you don't remember the joke. Like, how many times people go back and quote a joke to you and they've got it half wrong?

   10. JRJoe Rogan3:44

       Right. (laughs)

   11. RFRon Funches3:44

       Because they've heard you a thousand times, but they don't kn- ... They got the joke half wrong, because you've hypnotized them. They don't even remember it, you know?

   12. JRJoe Rogan3:52

       Oh. Yeah. Or some people remember shit you don't remember anymore.

   13. RFRon Funches3:56

       Yeah.

   14. JRJoe Rogan3:57

       That's a weird one.

   15. RFRon Funches3:57

       Yeah.

   16. JRJoe Rogan3:58

       I've had people come up to me and tell me a bit. I go, "What? What bit is that?" And they'll tell me the bit, I'm like, "Pff ... When is that from?" Like, "2014." I'm like, "I don't even remember that."

   17. RFRon Funches4:08

       Yeah. Just something you were trying out every now and then.

   18. JRJoe Rogan4:10

       Who knows?

   19. RFRon Funches4:11

       Yeah.

   20. JRJoe Rogan4:11

       Yeah.

3. 4:12 – 6:41

   Long-game mastery: 10+ years, peer respect, and building an “hour”

   1. RFRon Funches4:12

      That's what's fun now for me as I'm getting a little bit, uh, deeper. I've been, um, coming up on 13 years is now, now I'm getting to the point where I'm like, "Oh, this bit that I tried two or three years ago now works."

   2. JRJoe Rogan4:23

      Yes. Yes.

   3. RFRon Funches4:24

      You know? And that, that's really fun.

   4. JRJoe Rogan4:27

      Yeah. I remember that, that time. You w- you're essentially a, a PhD in comedy when you got 10 years in. Like, if you have do real 10 hard years of comedy. And then after that, it seems like some, some guys ... d- I mean, it all depends on the artist, right? But ev- ... Some guys have their best work, like, 15, 16 years in.

   5. RFRon Funches4:47

      Mm-hmm.

   6. JRJoe Rogan4:47

      They're just starting to catch their groove and figure out what it is. You know? 'Cause it's, uh, it's only understood by the people who practice it. It's, it's understood in a way by a lot of people who are, um, comedy fans.

   7. RFRon Funches5:01

      Mm-hmm.

   8. JRJoe Rogan5:01

      But that's similar to, like, me being a fan of music. I don't know shit about music, but I know what I like.

   9. RFRon Funches5:07

      Yeah.

   10. JRJoe Rogan5:07

       I know when it sounds good.

   11. RFRon Funches5:08

       Yeah.

   12. JRJoe Rogan5:09

       But I literally don't understand any of it. So I think there's those kinds of people too.

   13. RFRon Funches5:14

       Yeah. I mean, comedy is such a ... Yeah. I mean, that's what gets great when your peers ... That's one thing I loved about d- doing my special other than, like, people seeing it and being able to, like ... I wanted to just make something and put something out. I'd always done, like, small little things or guested on people's things and I was like, oh, I'm ... been doing comedy over 10 years and I'm ... show a lot of potential. I wanna present a meal. And when I put it out and, and, like, p- people's reaction was great, but a- the o- ... But my peers is what really made me happy that when I would get texts from, from, like, Mulaney or from some of the people being like, "You a- are ..." Or just be like, "This was your hour. This is you presenting who you are p- completely."

   14. JRJoe Rogan5:59

       Right.

   15. RFRon Funches5:59

       And th- and that ...... um, when people can see the stuff behind it when it's not just like joke, punchline, joke, punchline, when people can see, like, oh, you set this up, you did this right, your structure is right, and then you just were yourself, that's what really makes me happy in comedy.

   16. JRJoe Rogan6:16

       Yeah, yeah. You're a funny dude, man. I enjoy watching you. I've watched you quite a few times at The Comedy Store now in the main room. You're very, very funny, man. It's cool to see a guy like you put something down that's representative of your real, your real standup, what you're capable of doing. It's, it's a, a nice group to be a part of, man. And, and you sound like you think about it a lot. Like, I really appreciate that. When people think about, like, what it is we're doing, how do you do it?

   17. RFRon Funches6:41

       Yeah.

4. 6:41 – 9:09

   Ron’s writing process: ‘fisher vs hunter’ and staying creatively stocked

   1. JRJoe Rogan6:41

      Like, how do you do it? Like, d- do you write? Do you, uh, write on paper? Do you write with a typewriter? Or do you just r-write, do you just have ideas and you just keep working on them?

   2. RFRon Funches6:49

      It's all a mix, you know?

   3. JRJoe Rogan6:51

      Mm-hmm.

   4. RFRon Funches6:51

      I, I like to say, like, I'm a, um, more of a fisher than a hunter. Like, I'm not constantly like, oh, I need to write this down e- every day-

   5. JRJoe Rogan6:59

      Mm-hmm.

   6. RFRon Funches6:59

      ... I have the structure, but I'm constantly, like, I try to p- make my house so that we're, we're constantly always joking around with each other. There's notebooks everywhere. There's, like, little bowls of, like, w- um, Post-it notes for me whenever I ... An idea comes, I had to make sure I catch it, and then after, make sure that I work on it.

   7. JRJoe Rogan7:17

      Mm-hmm.

   8. RFRon Funches7:17

      You know? Um, that becomes a difference, it's just constantly keeping myself in motion so that I don't, um, get stagnant and I don't just do the same 10, 15 over and over again, that, 'cause, you know, that's where I think, especially, um, when I first moved out here, it was always about like, oh, I gotta show these people that I'm good, so I gotta do my best work, my best work. And I did that for about three months and I was like, oh, I don't have anything in the kitchen. I don't have any backup. You know? I haven't been building anything up. And so I learned very quickly, I think The Comedy Store has been the best for me at that, is just being like, um, having to, like, follow people who are completely not like me stylistically, um, having to f- follow people who I grew up watching. You know, I did a, um, night the other day where I had to follow, it was Sebastian and then Ron White and then me, and then I was like, uh, there's no ... I mean, I'm like, uh, I'm confident in myself. Some people know me, but when it comes to that, it's like, I'm the bottom of the totem pole o- on those three. And I had to go out there and just sh- show them that, like, I'm capable, I'm not gonna mess up the momentum here, I'm just as funny as these people, you just don't know me.

   9. JRJoe Rogan8:26

      Mm-hmm.

   10. RFRon Funches8:27

       You haven't met me yet. That's the thing I've been listening to a lot, like, there's rappers all the time, but, like, there's a rapper 2 Chainz where he said, like, um, "I just had to wait for, for the fans and for the game to learn what I already knew." And that's w- where I'm starting to feel now-

   11. JRJoe Rogan8:43

       Hm.

   12. RFRon Funches8:43

       ... a new confidence of like, I know I'm good and I just have to wait for people to, to catch up on my wave. And I don't, if they don't, they don't. If they do, fine.

   13. JRJoe Rogan8:52

       Dude, that's very jazz of you. (laughs)

   14. RFRon Funches8:55

       (laughs) Two Chains was the guy who debated Nancy Grace about weed. Mm-hmm.

   15. JRJoe Rogan8:59

       Remember that? (laughs)

   16. RFRon Funches9:01

       Yeah.

   17. JRJoe Rogan9:01

       Weed is gonna kill you.

   18. RFRon Funches9:04

       (laughs)

   19. JRJoe Rogan9:05

       (laughs)

   20. RFRon Funches9:05

       He outlasted her.

   21. JRJoe Rogan9:07

       Yeah, that didn't work.

   22. RFRon Funches9:09

       (laughs)

5. 9:09 – 14:56

   Weed stigma, legalization, and the messy question of legalizing all drugs

   1. JRJoe Rogan9:09

      I mean, it's hilarious now and you see how many states have legalized it. And in full disclosure, Ron and I smoked marijuana with Young Jamie before this podcast.

   2. RFRon Funches9:18

      Yes, we did.

   3. JRJoe Rogan9:19

      As I do so many others. It's ... Finally, the stigma's slowly being removed.

   4. RFRon Funches9:24

      Slowly?

   5. JRJoe Rogan9:25

      Dude, I was a drug addict in the '90s when I started s-

   6. RFRon Funches9:28

      (laughs)

   7. JRJoe Rogan9:28

      When I first started smoking weed. I guess it was, uh, not even the '90s. It was like t- ... When was it? Ni- maybe 98 or '99, somewhere around then is when I started smoking weed. And, uh, "You were a drug addict. You were a drug addict. You're a marijuana user? What's wrong with you, man? Get your shit together." I'm like, "Man, you guys don't get it." There's 2 Chainz. There he is, and Nancy Grace.

   8. JVJamie Vernon9:50

      They put the stuff on the screen when it was going on.

   9. JRJoe Rogan9:52

      "How many marijuanas does it take to overdose?" (laughs)

   10. RFRon Funches9:56

       (laughs)

   11. JVJamie Vernon9:56

       (laughs)

   12. JRJoe Rogan9:58

       Ah, Jamie sent me that.

   13. JVJamie Vernon10:01

       (laughs)

   14. JRJoe Rogan10:01

       Send me that. That is a fucking amazing quote.

   15. RFRon Funches10:04

       (laughs)

   16. JRJoe Rogan10:05

       Did she really say that?

   17. JVJamie Vernon10:06

       No, no, no, it's a Twitter user. They put-

   18. JRJoe Rogan10:08

       Oh.

   19. JVJamie Vernon10:08

       It looks like people were tweeting whatever, #pottoblame.

   20. JRJoe Rogan10:11

       Oh my God, who?

   21. JVJamie Vernon10:12

       And so they just put this stuff on there.

   22. JRJoe Rogan10:12

       That Twitter, oh, that Twitter user. Oh, Styler ...

   23. JVJamie Vernon10:14

       Tyler2015, it says.

   24. JRJoe Rogan10:16

       Oh, Tyler2015. Dude, that ... But is 2015 the day of the tweet? It must be.

   25. JVJamie Vernon10:20

       No, that's probably just another account.

   26. JRJoe Rogan10:22

       But-

   27. JVJamie Vernon10:22

       I don't know when that happened.

   28. RFRon Funches10:22

       It's a weird tweet, though-

   29. JRJoe Rogan10:23

       Oh.

   30. RFRon Funches10:23

       ... because there's a space in there.
6. 14:56 – 17:19

   Cocaine economy stories: Miami chaos, documentaries, and BMF

   1. JRJoe Rogan14:56

      Did you see Cocaine Cowboys?

   2. RFRon Funches14:58

      Hmm, no.

   3. JRJoe Rogan14:59

      Oh, dude. Billy Corben, the guy who directed it, was on the podcast yesterday. He's, uh, he's fantastic and he's got this new b- um, documentary called Screwball. It's about Alex Hernandez and steroids in baseball-

   4. RFRon Funches15:11

      Mm-hmm.

   5. JRJoe Rogan15:11

      ... and all this crazy shit.

   6. RFRon Funches15:11

      Rodriguez.

   7. JRJoe Rogan15:12

      Oh, right. Rodriguez. Who's Alex Hernandez? This a different one?

   8. GUGuest15:15

      It's pretty similar.

   9. JRJoe Rogan15:16

      A-Rod. How did I say Hernandez?

   10. RFRon Funches15:17

       Now it's Hernan- ... It wa- ... He is the guy ... No, that's Aaron.

   11. JRJoe Rogan15:19

       That's the weed.

   12. RFRon Funches15:20

       And now I'm thinking of that guy-

   13. JRJoe Rogan15:20

       It's the weed.

   14. RFRon Funches15:21

       ... from the New England Patriots.

   15. JRJoe Rogan15:22

       It's goddamn weed. It fucked my head up. That is the guy from the Patriots with the murderer?

   16. RFRon Funches15:25

       No, that's Aaron Hernandez.

   17. JRJoe Rogan15:26

       Oh, okay. That's where I fucked it up. My apologies, Alex. Alex Rodriguez. And, uh, anyway this, this guy made a documentary called Cocaine Cowboys and it's all about how crazy during the big cocaine days Miami was. And how one year the entire graduating class of the sheriff's academy, uh, the police academy, whatever it was, they either were murdered or they were arrested for corruption. The whole ... Everyone. The entire class. Like the entire graduating year. Like ev- ... It was w- ... Wild West chaos. And there was all these pilots bringing in millions of dollars worth of coke and they had b- bags of money buried in their backyard. It's fucking crazy.

   18. RFRon Funches16:10

       That's interesting.

   19. JRJoe Rogan16:11

       It's great, man. It's great. It's a two-part series. Or it's, it's ... There's two parts to it, too.

   20. RFRon Funches16:16

       Do you ever hear about the Black Mafia Family?

   21. JRJoe Rogan16:18

       Two versions of it.

   22. RFRon Funches16:18

       You ever r- ... You ever watch any documentaries about them?

   23. JRJoe Rogan16:22

       No.

   24. RFRon Funches16:22

       That, that makes me always interested.

   25. JRJoe Rogan16:24

       What did they do?

   26. RFRon Funches16:25

       They were a, a cocaine outlet in the early 2000s out of Atlanta and they transit- ... At one point they were running like most of the South, Southeast, um, headed by this dude named Big Meech, and, um, then they decided like, "We should legalize and get into rap." But they w- ... Had never done anything like that before and they were very blatant about it.

   27. JRJoe Rogan16:47

       (laughs)

   28. RFRon Funches16:47

       So, the- ... All of a sudden these people who were came outta nowhere were just all on like every magazine that, um ... They have this thing in- ... Where they're introduc- ... Interviewing police officers and they had this big billboard when you would land at Atlanta that would go b- ... That would just say, "BMF, we own the world." And they-

   29. JRJoe Rogan17:04

       Wow.

   30. RFRon Funches17:05

       ... were just out there and they would throw these big parties with tigers and stuff.
7. 17:19 – 23:10

   Authenticity in rap, white rappers, and Action Bronson’s multi-hyphenate hustle

   1. JRJoe Rogan17:19

      Well, that whole, um, r- rap business, man. I mean, if you just stop and think about rap music, other than some country, and I mean really, uh, like a small amount of country would talk about murdering men. You know? "I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die." A few. Johnny Cash, maybe some Merle Haggard, Waylon Jennings, maybe some, some of those songs. But when you get to like NWA, you have a totally different level of aggression. You know, when you get to, uh, Ice-T's Body Count, when he was doing that hard metal shit-

   2. RFRon Funches17:55

      Mm-hmm.

   3. JRJoe Rogan17:56

      ... and he was doing "fuck the police" or, uh, uh, "I'm a, I'm a cop killer."I mean, it's either NWA's Fuck the Police or Ice-T's I'm a Cop Killer. Like, you hear those, like, you've never heard anything like that before.

   4. RFRon Funches18:06

      Yeah. And that was an interesting time because that's... I mean, talking about real anger, what we talked about before, this is coming from real places-

   5. JRJoe Rogan18:13

      Yeah.

   6. RFRon Funches18:13

      ... of people who, who were dealing with, you know, Los Angeles at a horrible time and, and l- police corruption. And then what's crazy is then you... It goes the other way, right? They take that real anger that people connect it to, and then they just start manufacturing. And then rap becomes all these fake stories of like, "I murdered all these people. I have all this money." And, and, and then now it's just so far gone that it, it, it's hard to find that... I mean, now my favorite authentic rap is, like, people who are like, "Oh, you know, I can't find my wifi password." Or, or-

   7. JRJoe Rogan18:48

      (laughs)

   8. RFRon Funches18:49

      ... or people just talking about raising their kids now.

   9. JRJoe Rogan18:51

      Right.

   10. RFRon Funches18:52

       I love that in rap because then I'm like-

   11. JRJoe Rogan18:53

       Why not?

   12. RFRon Funches18:53

       ... "Oh, you're for real."

   13. JRJoe Rogan18:54

       Yeah. Why not? Talk about anything. You know, Today Was a Good Day (laughs)

   14. RFRon Funches19:00

       (laughs)

   15. JRJoe Rogan19:00

       Right? I mean-

   16. RFRon Funches19:01

       Yeah.

   17. JRJoe Rogan19:01

       ... that was, like, one of the original ones, right?

   18. RFRon Funches19:03

       There used to be a song called All You Could Eat" That's a- ... which was just about going to a buffet.

   19. JRJoe Rogan19:08

       Yeah. But, like, Today Was a Good Day, I mean, is... That is, like, a classic example of someone taking the art form and completely switching it up and slowing it down and make it casual and relaxed and celebratory. And that's from the same dude.

   20. RFRon Funches19:23

       Mm-hmm.

   21. JRJoe Rogan19:23

       The same dude from NWA.

   22. RFRon Funches19:26

       Yeah. Smart man, smart man.

   23. JRJoe Rogan19:28

       He's a wizard of a writer, too. His, his lyrics are fantastic. You know? He... There's like... When there's lyrics... In my mind, when it comes to hip hop, there's lyrics and then there's Nas. Nas does shit that you just go like that Backwards song.

   24. RFRon Funches19:42

       Mm-hmm.

   25. JRJoe Rogan19:42

       You know, you just go like, like... Everything is so... It's like a, like a practiced, like, orchestra, you know, as opposed to just being rhymes. Like, it's... Sometimes he puts things together so, so interestingly, you know. He's got his own special sort of appreciation for things.

   26. RFRon Funches20:01

       Yeah. He's also a very smart man.

   27. JRJoe Rogan20:04

       It has to be.

   28. RFRon Funches20:04

       He was only, like, 20 though. He, um, he invests, he invests in a lot of tech companies. He does a lot of... He's big into investments.

   29. JRJoe Rogan20:10

       Why?

   30. JVJamie Vernon20:10

       He was young 20s when he wrote that. He was, like, 23 when that song came out.
8. 23:10 – 26:40

   Art value debates and Joe’s fantasy obsession (Frazetta, Conan)

   1. JRJoe Rogan23:10

      Yeah, man. I'm all for people selling the most ridiculous shit. I went to my agent's house once. He had this dope place in Aspen. I mean, this place was crazy. Like, you know, Aspen houses, like, near the ski lodges and shit. And on the wall, he had this painting. And I said... I go, "Did his kid make this?" And they go, "No, that's a..." (gibberish) You know, some fucking obscure popular artist. I go, "What is that?" And they were like, "This is a really expensive piece." Like, "Shut the fuck up. You're, you're messing with me?" They're like, "No." It was, like, tissue paper that was, like, different colors. It was stuck with glue and, like, a little piece of paper and some paint on it. Like, "Get the fuck out of here with this." Like, "What are you doing with that?"

   2. RFRon Funches23:48

      Can't come. I mean, was it pretty?

   3. JRJoe Rogan23:51

      No.

   4. RFRon Funches23:52

      (laughs)

   5. JVJamie Vernon23:52

      (laughs)

   6. JRJoe Rogan23:53

      No. That's why I was stunned. I thought it was his kid. I thought his kid made it.

   7. RFRon Funches23:57

      (laughs)

   8. JRJoe Rogan23:58

      Maybe I'm, maybe I was dumb.... well, I definitely was, but, uh, younger and dumber. Maybe I'd appreciate it now, but I don't think so. I, I appreciate, uh, all kinds of art. I appreciate distorted things, but I don't appreciate, like, just a bunch of splat. You know what I mean? Like, it's gotta have something to it.

   9. RFRon Funches24:15

      Yeah.

   10. JRJoe Rogan24:15

       Like, I, you, like, Jackson Pollock stuff, like, that stuff weirds me out. It's like, "Why is it so expensive?" Like, I get it. I get it. You'll, I mean, it's crazy. It's definitely crazy. But then you look at, you know, you look at a classic, like, uh, l- look at a, you know, some Frank Frazetta stuff. Do you know who that guy is?

   11. RFRon Funches24:36

       Mm-mm.

   12. JRJoe Rogan24:36

       He was a fantasy painter-

   13. RFRon Funches24:38

       Show me something.

   14. JRJoe Rogan24:39

       ... from the 19 ... So there's a poster of his, or, um, a print of one of his works out in the, uh, lobby, that Conan the Barbarian one, with that, uh, that monster. He's got a sword. He was, uh, this guy that do, he would do all the covers for Conan the Barbarian books, just incredible artwork, like wild, crazy fantasy shit.

   15. RFRon Funches25:00

       And this is your type of art?

   16. JRJoe Rogan25:01

       Oh, just I loved it when I was a kid, man. When I was a ki- you know, when I was a young boy-

   17. RFRon Funches25:04

       This makes a lot of sense. This seems like what you would like.

   18. JRJoe Rogan25:07

       (laughs) I loved it. It was the best. His books were incredible. There's Robert E. Howard was this really tortured guy who was, um, a guy who lived with his mom. He had, you know, fairly poor health, and he died suicide when he was, like, 36 years old. But he wrote a, a bunch of these books about a guy that was nothing like him, about a guy who was this just unstoppable force of nature. From this, he be- he created this place called, uh, s- was Sumeria? No. What, what do you call it? What was his ... Simerian? It was Simerian? Is that what it was? Where Conan, Conan the Simerian, right?

   19. JVJamie Vernon25:45

       That's correct, yeah.

   20. JRJoe Rogan25:45

       C-I-M- ... They cre- he created, created a whole world and in this world, it was like, it was, like, very Games of Throne-y in a lot of ways, the original shit. Like, no one to this day has really captured the books in a movie. Like, Arnold was fun as Conan and then, uh, Jason Momoa was, like, a better fit physically. He was, like, a perfect fit physically, more realistic as opposed to, like, being a body builder. But nobody's really captured, like, the, the, the feeling of the books, 'cause the books was just some wild shit. And it was all created by this one guy who was, like, super depressed. And he would just write these books about this guy who just fucked all these women and killed everyone and just, well, just smashed his way through the world and power.

   21. RFRon Funches26:23

       True. True fantasy.

   22. JRJoe Rogan26:24

       Like, crazy shit though. It was all him fighting dragons and monsters and demons coming for his soul, and he ran for 72 hours and fights them off with a sword and it was just cr- when you're 12 years old like I was when I got into this shit, you'd be like, "Whoa, man. This is wild."

9. 26:40 – 49:15

   Pro wrestling extremes, viral ring stunts, and slap-fighting absurdity

   1. RFRon Funches26:40

      Oh, I get that. That's like what ECW Wrestling was for me-

   2. JRJoe Rogan26:43

      (snaps fingers)

   3. RFRon Funches26:43

      ... 'cause it was like titties everywhere and violence and blood and nails.

   4. JRJoe Rogan26:49

      Ooh. Yeah.

   5. RFRon Funches26:49

      Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

   6. JRJoe Rogan26:50

      Dude, I watched one yesterday on Instagram. Somebody had a clip of a guy and a girl, and they're in the middle of the ring. The guy's making out with the girl, and then he turns on her and body slams her down to the ground. And I was like, "What? You can still do that?" In pro wrestling, you could still fake, like, fake violence against a chick? I didn't know you could do that.

   7. RFRon Funches27:09

      Yeah.

   8. JVJamie Vernon27:09

      Oh, yeah.

   9. RFRon Funches27:10

      Oh, yeah. Inter-gender wrestling's still real big.

   10. JRJoe Rogan27:12

       They, they slam ... They fake slam chicks?

   11. JVJamie Vernon27:15

       Sure. Yeah.

   12. RFRon Funches27:15

       Mm-hmm.

   13. JRJoe Rogan27:15

       That is crazy. I saw him do that and I was like, "That could not have felt good."

   14. RFRon Funches27:19

       A lady stuck a Blow Pop up a dude's butt recently.

   15. JRJoe Rogan27:22

       Oh, no.

   16. RFRon Funches27:23

       Mm-hmm.

   17. JVJamie Vernon27:24

       What?

   18. RFRon Funches27:24

       He, he didn't want it.

   19. JRJoe Rogan27:26

       What is this about?

   20. RFRon Funches27:27

       I don't ... It's just his dick. He carry... When you carry around Blow Pop, I guess, you know?

   21. JRJoe Rogan27:32

       Wow. Jesus Christ.

   22. RFRon Funches27:35

       Just wrestling.

   23. JRJoe Rogan27:36

       Well, the, whatever you gotta do to sell them tickets. (laughs)

   24. RFRon Funches27:41

       (laughs)

   25. JVJamie Vernon27:41

       (laughs)

   26. JRJoe Rogan27:41

       What is this Jamie?

   27. RFRon Funches27:43

       Oh, yeah.

   28. JRJoe Rogan27:43

       Is this the Blow Pop thing?

   29. JVJamie Vernon27:44

       Yeah.

   30. JRJoe Rogan27:44

       No way.
10. 49:15 – 1:09:43

    Pool halls, prison chess visualization, and the ‘underworld’ of misfits

    1. JRJoe Rogan49:15

       By the way, knight to rook two probably isn't even a real move. I just said some numbers and some letters. I don't understand anything when it comes to, uh, playing chess out loud. I, um, was friends with this guy that was in prison.

    2. GUGuest49:27

       Mm-hmm.

    3. JRJoe Rogan49:28

       And in prison he learned how to play chess, uh, with his words, you know, with a... Just in his head. And, um, he was at this place that we used to, uh, play pool at in White Plains, New York. It's called Executive Billiards, like, a classic old school pool hall. I think, I think it's done now. I think they, they just closed it down or something like that. Maybe they're re- renovating or something. But, um, this guy w- was playing with this kid who was, like, a world champion chess player. And this kid would come by and play pool, this really young kid, like, like, 15, 16 years old. And the two of 'em were sitting there playing chess with each other, like, just saying, you know, "Knight to queen two," or, you know, whatever the fuck it means. And the guy would go, stand there and go, "Uh, rook to six, blah, blah, blah." And they would go back and forth like this. I'd be like... I was like, "What are you s-" Like, I'm imagining what they're seeing. Like, what are they seeing in their head? Are they seeing, like, these things move around in three dimensions? Are they looking at it as a grid? How are they keeping track of where their fucking pieces are? It was humbling.

    4. GUGuest50:29

       Yeah.

    5. JRJoe Rogan50:29

       Very humbling.

    6. GUGuest50:30

       No, that's a str- strategic mind that I do not have.

    7. JRJoe Rogan50:33

       Well, what's interesting to me too, 'cause I was a very young man, I think I was, like, 23 or 24, I, I got to see how fucking smart this guy was, yet he still wound up in prison.

    8. GUGuest50:41

       Mm.

    9. JRJoe Rogan50:42

       So I was like, "Okay." Like, all right, just because someone's a criminal doesn't mean they're stupid, and just because someone's smart doesn't mean they won't go to jail.

    10. GUGuest50:48

        Absolutely.

    11. JRJoe Rogan50:48

        Those are two things I saw talking to that guy. And, uh (laughs) he, he was in the middle of a game once and, uh, he was gambling with this guy. And this is the guy from prison. He was a super smart guy, very sharp guy. And, um, he was talking to the guy who was playing and he said, "Dude, my wife told me if I don't get home by 10 she wants a divorce." And, uh, 10 o'clock rolls around and he yells out, "I guess I'm getting a divorce."

    12. GUGuest51:15

        (laughs)

    13. JRJoe Rogan51:15

        It was, like, two hours later and he just racks the balls. He was there till, like, 2 o'clock in the morning. But it was hilarious. He just... He, he said, like, as they started playing, "My wife says if I don't come home by 10..." Those were weird times, man. Growing up, um, in, uh, like, a- a suburb of Boston, which was, like, a really nice place, I grew up in, uh, this place called Newton, like, real quiet-

    14. GUGuest51:38

        Mm-hmm.

    15. JRJoe Rogan51:38

        ... quaint little community. To go from that to, like, these seedy pool halls of New York was really weird for me. Very, very educational. I got to see all these, like, street hustlers. I got to hang around with these guys, be friends with a lot of homeless guys. Like, I had guys that were, like, uh, pool players that wound up staying on my couch. They had nowhere to go. You know, a couple of 'em. And, uh, one of 'em became my best friend, this guy named Johnny. But it was like, uh, we'd... I'd, I'd be in all these weird places gambling, like, these weird strange places with these guys who were, like, these semiprofessional players playing for hundreds, thousands of dollars. And there'd be a big crowd of guys all gathered around. It'd be 1:00, 2:00 in the morning. And I'd be thinking, "These guys, how... These are older than me men. Like, they don't have families? Like, what do they do?" Like, this is a whole separate culture, you know, and I-

    16. GUGuest52:28

        You were in the underworld.

    17. JRJoe Rogan52:30

        Oh, it was in a lot of ways, man. A lot of ways it was very underworldy. I was obsessed with it too, man. I just wanted to play pool all the time. I wasn't very good, um, but the guys I was around were very good. I was around a lot of guys who were very good, very, very good. And you got to see, like, the excitement of these, uh... It was like, it wasn't just excitement that everybody was gathered around (clears throat) and that they were playing this game for a lot of money. It was also the excitement that we were bending the rules.

    18. GUGuest52:57

        Mm.

    19. JRJoe Rogan52:57

        We're all just a bunch of men hanging out at this smoky place at 1 o'clock in the morning on a Wednesday and, and everyone is in it together. We're all just, in some way, deranged derelicts. You know, some weirdos from society that can figure their way to be able to be at this place at 1 o'clock in the morning on a Wednesday. Like, "Why the fuck are you here, man?" Like, "Don't you have responsibilities?" No one there had any re- responsibilities. Everyone there was some sort of a, either, um, a professional gambler or they had... Like, some... One of the guys was a fireman who they would, they would put him on these 24-hour shifts and then he would have a couple days off. He'd just come in the pool hall and hang out-

    20. GUGuest53:35

        Mm.

    21. JRJoe Rogan53:36

        ... watch guys gamble.

    22. GUGuest53:37

        It's, uh... I mean, it sounds similar to standup, you know?

    23. JRJoe Rogan53:40

        Oh yeah, man.

    24. GUGuest53:41

        Just Land of the Misfits.

    25. JRJoe Rogan53:42

        Well, that's one of the reasons why I fit in there from standup, you know? Like, uh, starting doing standup from 21 and then (clears throat) being around these pool hall guys when I was, like, 23 or 24. I was like, "Oh, you guys are like my fucked up friends that I like." It's, like, too many people out there think that there's, like, only one way to live your life.

    26. GUGuest54:04

        Mm.

    27. JRJoe Rogan54:04

        Like, there's a, there's a bunch of ways to live life. There's a lot.

    28. GUGuest54:08

        Yeah, there's a whole lot of worlds.

    29. JRJoe Rogan54:09

        And everybody wants you to think that their way of living life is the way you should go about it. It's real tricky because they all want, like, this sort of confirmation bias. They want, they want you to confirm... They want... Well, it's more like a, a confirmation desire. They want you to confirm that they're doing the right thing. If you listen to them and then you become happy and, uh, you know, they, they come up to you and, and they go, "Hey man, I'm really, really excited that you, uh, you told me how to do it this way because now I'm just living my life much better."

    30. GUGuest54:36

        (laughs)

Episode duration: 2:16:28