EVERY SPOKEN WORD
150 min read · 30,004 words- 0:00 – 3:28
Caffeine math, espresso habits, and “productivity” coffee
- MYMichael Yo
Will you go through all three of those? (coffee machine clicks)
- JRJoe Rogan
No. (coffee machine clicks) No.
- MYMichael Yo
Oh, okay.
- JRJoe Rogan
No. One other one is for you.
- MYMichael Yo
Oh, okay, good.
- JRJoe Rogan
Just in case you wanted two.
- MYMichael Yo
Good.
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- MYMichael Yo
(laughs) 'Cause all yo- that's a beast.
- JRJoe Rogan
Ridiculous.
- MYMichael Yo
You're a fucking beast goin' through three co- (laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh, we're live.
- MYMichael Yo
(laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- MYMichael Yo
That's like-
- JRJoe Rogan
You're a beast. We're tryna figure out how much... I think these are 270 milligrams of caffeine. If you drank three of these, Jamie, that would kill you, right? That would kill you?
- NANarrator
Uh, no.
- JRJoe Rogan
No.
- MYMichael Yo
Wouldn't kill you.
- JRJoe Rogan
It would fuck you up.
- MYMichael Yo
I thought you walked in with three coffees. I was like-
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh, I just- (laughs)
- MYMichael Yo
... "Goddamn, Rogan, you're gonna die. Like straight up die after the show."
- JRJoe Rogan
No. One is for you.
- MYMichael Yo
Okay.
- JRJoe Rogan
And, uh, hopefully we won't need both... Well, I- I don't know. I've, I've drank both of them before on a show-
- MYMichael Yo
I, uh-
- JRJoe Rogan
... which is like 500 plus milligrams.
- MYMichael Yo
I'm addicted to coffee, though, man. I will just drink it. When I'm- I don't even need a high.
- JRJoe Rogan
I love it.
- 3:28 – 5:40
Adderall as “prescribed speed” and the ADD debate
- JRJoe Rogan
I'm scared of Adderall. But people admit they're aller- uh, they're addicted to coffee, and everyone's like, "Ah, me too." If you go, "Dude, I am so addicted to Adderall," they're like, "Okay, Joe."
- MYMichael Yo
Dude.
- JRJoe Rogan
"I'm not calling you anymore." (laughs)
- MYMichael Yo
Dude. Like, like you're gonna, you, you're gonna think I'm lame, but 'til five years ago, I didn't even know what Adderall was.
- JRJoe Rogan
G- no, I think you're smart.
- MYMichael Yo
Like, I did not-
- JRJoe Rogan
Good for you.
- MYMichael Yo
Like, all my friends in Houston, they did it. And I asked my friend, like I text him, and I go, "Hey man, what's your, you got, uh, what's your addy?" And he goes, "Yeah, we got Adderall." I was like, "What are you tal- No, your address to go to your house."
- JRJoe Rogan
Ah.
- MYMichael Yo
Like li- literally, he thought I was talking about Adderall, and then he explained to me, like when you're in a club and you wanna stay up and you wanna stay, like, energized, you take Adderall. And I was like, "Oh, okay." But I, I don't drink. So I can stay up 'til three, four o'clock in the morning and be fine.
- JRJoe Rogan
What's fascinating about Adderall is what they've essentially done is taken an amphetamine and made it so that if you prescribe it for a condition, right? Like they give it to people who have, uh, well ADD is one of them, right?
- MYMichael Yo
Mm-hmm.
- JRJoe Rogan
Whatever the fuck that means. And it's very debatable whether or not you have it or h- don't have it.
- MYMichael Yo
Everybody has ADD.
- JRJoe Rogan
Depending upon... I have it for sure.
- MYMichael Yo
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
If it's real. If it's real, I have it. But they give you Adderall-
- MYMichael Yo
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
... which is fucking speed. And because it's a medication that you give to somebody who has, supposedly has a condition, and by the way, I'm not m- diagnosing you. If you're out there, you're getting frustrated with me right now.
- MYMichael Yo
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
Just listen to me. It's fucking speed. Maybe you need speed. Maybe you're that person that needs speed. Maybe you do need it legitimately as a medication, but there's a fuck load of people-
- MYMichael Yo
It's-
- JRJoe Rogan
... that are just doing speed. (laughs)
- MYMichael Yo
So by somebody giving you speed, it's supposed to slow you down so you won't have ADD? Is that the reasoning?
- JRJoe Rogan
That's what they say. They say legit, if you have the legit ADD... Look, I am not doubting that some people have whatever the fuck-
- MYMichael Yo
100%.
- JRJoe Rogan
... I have worse than I have it.
- MYMichael Yo
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
There's a spectrum, right? With everything. But for some people when they take Adderall or similar type of substances, it actually lets them focus and they can, they can actually be on track.
- MYMichael Yo
So by speeding it up, somehow it focuses in?
- 5:40 – 8:39
Doctor skepticism, family attitudes, and Michael’s high-achieving dad
- JRJoe Rogan
Weird.
- MYMichael Yo
... my friend's a doctor, and I was talking to him, and I used to, you know, just pop by to say what's up, and he goes, "Hey man, just to let you know, the more you go to a doctor, the faster you'll die." And I go, "What?"
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- MYMichael Yo
Yeah. He's like, "I just wanna let-"
- JRJoe Rogan
What?
- MYMichael Yo
No, yeah, yeah. He says, "The more you go to us, you come to us, the faster you'll die." I was like, "What are you talking about?" 'Cause a lot of doctors are crooked, and they'll give you something for what you think you got. And then after that wears off, they have to give you something else. So now, you just keep filling yourself with stuff to fix the other thing that was wrong.
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh.
- MYMichael Yo
And he goes, "Some, some doctors are not good people." And he goes, "The more people go to doctors, the faster they die." Put it in point. My mom beat breast cancer twice, right? And my dad's never been to the doctor. He's 75 years old. Never been to the doctor once. 'Cause he's like, "Well, as soon as you go to the doctor, they tell you something's wrong, you die." You know, literally.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah, but if you have cancer, you should go to a fucking doctor.
- MYMichael Yo
Well, he didn't have cancer. My mom did.
- JRJoe Rogan
Right, but if he had cancer, he should go to a fucking doctor.
- MYMichael Yo
But I don't think he would go even if he had.
- JRJoe Rogan
What?
- MYMichael Yo
Yeah. He's just-
- JRJoe Rogan
But your mom beat it twice, and she's still here.
- MYMichael Yo
Yeah. Yeah, she is.
- JRJoe Rogan
So it doesn't mean-
- MYMichael Yo
And the second time she beat it, she didn't even tell me she had it.
- JRJoe Rogan
Doesn't your dad wanna beat it if he gets it?
- MYMichael Yo
Nah.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah, he's fuck it.
- MYMichael Yo
My dad is the kind of dude who's like, "Hey, I've been through a lot, I'm fine." Like, he's, he hates going to the doctor. The on- only time he went to the doctor he had a back problem. And that's it.
- JRJoe Rogan
I mean, feel like if he met a good doctor.
- MYMichael Yo
But that's old school.
- JRJoe Rogan
What if he met a good doctor? Like a doctor that he likes, like a guy he plays golf with or some shit. Does your dad play golf?
- MYMichael Yo
Not, my dad, my dad is not social.
- JRJoe Rogan
He's not?
- MYMichael Yo
No.
- JRJoe Rogan
No?
- MYMichael Yo
No. I'm totally-
- 8:39 – 12:44
Street fights, head injuries, and why knockouts can be fatal
- JRJoe Rogan
Jamie, was it you that was telling me yesterday about the guy who's the EMT who sees... Tell me, tell me what you told me.
- NANarrator
He said, he said he was listening to the podcast we did with Luis J Gomez about people getting head injuries. Uh, and he has been doing it I believe for like 15 years or so, like, doesn't do it every single day, 'cause you don't work every single day, but on a three-day basis or so. Every day he works, he sees at least one person dead from a head injury. Whether it's an elderly person, they slipped on ice, something.
- JRJoe Rogan
People fall and hit their heads.
- MYMichael Yo
Oh, yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
Like, that's why, please folks, if you're listening to me and you wanna punch somebody and knock them out, please don't do it. Just go to a gym, get your frustrations out, don't fight on the street. You could kill somebody or you can get killed, even accidentally. Even if you really don't hate the guy that much, you punch him in the face-
- MYMichael Yo
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
... they go unconscious, their head hits the ground. People die all the time. I mean, I've told the story about when Kevin James used to work as a bouncer in Long Island. A, a guy that he was working with punched a guy and killed him.
- MYMichael Yo
Really?
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah. Kevin, Kevin wasn't there but he knew the guy, and the guy accidentally killed a drunk guy. Drunk guy was coming at him, he punched him I guess, I'm, I don't know the whole story. But that shit happens all the time. I've seen guys get knocked out.
- MYMichael Yo
And it's not about the punch though, it's about when they hit their head after the punch.
- JRJoe Rogan
You're getting hit by the world.
- MYMichael Yo
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
Think about that. Think if the world just dropped on your head. That's what it's like. Your body mass bouncing off a completely-
- MYMichael Yo
Ugh.
- JRJoe Rogan
... especially concrete, there's no give. So your head just ka-clock. It sounds horrible. Wa- listen to someone's head bounce off concrete. It's one of the scariest fucking sounds.
- MYMichael Yo
Ugh.
- JRJoe Rogan
It's horrible. Even if you do it to somebody and you wanted to hurt them, when you hear their head bounce off concrete, you're like, "Oh, shit." Like, that's not as simple as, like, you punched them. You punched them and then, you know, whatever they weigh, 190 pounds, with all the mass of grav- all their mass and gravity pulling them towards the ground with nothing slowing it down but meat and head, bang, bone, shoulder.
- MYMichael Yo
I, I, that reminds me when I was 10 years old I was sitting on the curb. And this is the first time I saw death in real life from a head injury.
- JRJoe Rogan
Mmm.
- MYMichael Yo
I was sitting with my friend on the curb and a guy was driving a motorcycle, and he was speeding up and down the street. And right on Iriswood in Houston, Texas, he's flying down, a car pulls out. And he hits it, back then they didn't wear helmets, so he literally flew up in the air and landed about 20 feet from us. His head hit first.
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh.
- MYMichael Yo
And exploded like a watermelon.
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh.
- MYMichael Yo
And this is like, I was 10 years old watching this. So the next morn- you know, the police come, my parents get me, they tell me, "Don't look at it." To put, I, I, I'm, I go out there the next day, it's just blood stains everywhere, and his wife is picking up his hair that's stuck to the concrete.
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh.
- MYMichael Yo
And I remember it so vividly. I was, next door neighbor was Eric, and we were sitting on the curb watching this lady pick up her, uh, husband's hair that was stuck in, and that's the first time I ever saw death. And it, it, it, it was, ugh.
- JRJoe Rogan
Fuck, man.
- MYMichael Yo
And it was a gnarly death too. It was like that Faces of Death stuff. Like, it was bad. It was bad.
- JRJoe Rogan
The, the, they got-
- MYMichael Yo
I never rode a motorcycle because of that.
- 12:44 – 21:21
Generational parenting, saying “I love you,” and instincts passed through DNA
- JRJoe Rogan
Kids, you, you shouldn't, it like, when you let boys just wander around...
- MYMichael Yo
It's never good.
- JRJoe Rogan
It's never. The dumb shit that they do that they think is okay. "Let's try this." "Hey, take those fireworks and stick 'em in this tree, this old l- rotted down tree. Let's blow it up." (laughs)
- MYMichael Yo
Yeah, and the, and the problem is, I think, (laughs) I think, I think today parents, at least we know more. I feel we tell, but like our parents, at least my parents, they didn't really give me guidance. You know?
- JRJoe Rogan
Right.
- MYMichael Yo
They were kind of like, "Hey, figure it out on your own."
- JRJoe Rogan
Mine too. Yeah.
- MYMichael Yo
Yeah, and-
- JRJoe Rogan
I think that was that generation, though.
- MYMichael Yo
Yeah, they, yeah. Like my parents-
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- MYMichael Yo
... is the parents that didn't tell you they loved me till I was 29, and I forced them to.
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh, wow.
- MYMichael Yo
It's that kind of thing. Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
That's different. Yeah, my parents told me they loved me all the time. (laughs)
- MYMichael Yo
(laughs) My parents were hippies. You know my mom and stepdad are hippies.
- JRJoe Rogan
I, I don't know. Maybe it was my...
- MYMichael Yo
In a, in a good way. They're like really, really nice people.
- JRJoe Rogan
In a good way. Yeah, I don't...
- MYMichael Yo
But, um, yeah, man, th- they didn't tell me shit though, sp- like the, what to do.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- MYMichael Yo
They told my why are your grades so bad? I'm like, "I don't, what the fuck do I do? Tell me, someone tell me what to do." (laughs) But they've worked, man. You know like when, and you have, like if you have full-time job and the wife has a full-time job and you're raising children, man, how much time does that really leave?
- JRJoe Rogan
I mean, none.
- MYMichael Yo
You don't get home until 6:00, 7:00. Like Wendy get out of work at 5:00. Like by the time you get home, kids been home from school for three hours, they're already exhausted.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- MYMichael Yo
They just wanna eat and go to sleep.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- MYMichael Yo
Like you're not learning anything about each other for like five days a week.
- JRJoe Rogan
Well, I, that's my, my mom worked for my dad, so I got to see my mom a lot.
- MYMichael Yo
Mm-hmm.
- 21:21 – 38:55
Fear Factor nostalgia: early seasons, gross food, and “donkey cum” cancellation
- JRJoe Rogan
Like, s- like, here's one. Ophidiophobia, or arachnophobia, fear of snakes or spiders. Those... Have you ever seen anybody who has that? Well, you were on Fear Factor with me.
- MYMichael Yo
Oh, my God, that was-
- JRJoe Rogan
(clears throat)
- MYMichael Yo
... that was the worst.
- JRJoe Rogan
I should say, you were... You made it out, brother.
- MYMichael Yo
No, both.
- JRJoe Rogan
Congratulations.
- MYMichael Yo
Yes. All right. (laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- MYMichael Yo
No, do you remem- I was on the-
- JRJoe Rogan
Season one, episode one.
- MYMichael Yo
I was the pilot episode-
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- MYMichael Yo
... of Fear Factor.
- JRJoe Rogan
The pilot episode.
- MYMichael Yo
And that's where I met you-
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- MYMichael Yo
... for the first ti- sixtee- can you believe sixteen... What? 2001.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- MYMichael Yo
What is that? What are we-
- JRJoe Rogan
S- that's 18 years ago.
- MYMichael Yo
18 years ago we met.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- MYMichael Yo
And-
- JRJoe Rogan
Because that was, that was right after 9/11.
- MYMichael Yo
Yes.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- MYMichael Yo
Right after. And they flew us down, and the first time I met you, it was at Saddle Ranch. And you were like, "Welcome-"
- JRJoe Rogan
Look at this, dude.
- MYMichael Yo
Oh. (laughs)
- 38:55 – 49:23
Predators everywhere: alligators, Everglades pythons, and respect for nature
- MYMichael Yo
Yeah. I lived in Miami, man, and at the time, I lived in Miami, talk about like-
- JRJoe Rogan
You did radio out there, right?
- MYMichael Yo
Yeah, uh, uh, Y100 in Miami.
- JRJoe Rogan
That was after Fear Factor.
- MYMichael Yo
After Fear Factor.
- JRJoe Rogan
After Factor.
- MYMichael Yo
It landed me that big gig after I was (laughs) after I was on Fear Factor.
- JRJoe Rogan
Well, radio was radio back then, though.
- MYMichael Yo
Dude. Oh, yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
It was real.
- MYMichael Yo
It was, it was, like, huge, man. Uh, but I remember they had these lakes and if you go back, like, 10 years ago and look up Florida, people were just jogging around lakes getting snatched by alligators.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- MYMichael Yo
Like, just alligators did not give a damn.
- JRJoe Rogan
They'll get you.
- MYMichael Yo
They were just snatching people.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- MYMichael Yo
And I was like, "Why are people jogging?" Like... (laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- MYMichael Yo
Like, literally I was like, "Stop jogging."
- JRJoe Rogan
Well, definitely don't jog near the water.
- MYMichael Yo
No. And that's the thing. Look, I believe, like, eight people within six months got snatched just jogging by some of the-
- JRJoe Rogan
Is that real?
- MYMichael Yo
Oh, 100%. Probably about eight to 10 years ago, just jogging.
- JRJoe Rogan
I didn't know that, that there was that many deaths ever from alligators.
- MYMichael Yo
Oh, yeah. They were getting snatched.
- JRJoe Rogan
One of my favorite ones was a guy who was running from the cops near Miami and, uh, he was in a stolen car, parked his car on a bridge, jumped off the bridge and landed on an alligator.
- MYMichael Yo
(laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
Alligator jacked him in front of the cops.
- MYMichael Yo
Ugh.
- JRJoe Rogan
And they were just sitting there going, "Well-"
- 49:23 – 53:53
Video game warfare: Quake Champions addiction and adrenaline loops
- MYMichael Yo
(laughs) What's crazy is, uh, the wh- this whole animal kingdom thing, but one thing that scares me that you were doing when I walked in is playing these fucking shooter games.
- JRJoe Rogan
Dude, that game is a real problem. Jamie and I have been going to war for the last, what, two months?
- NANarrator
Yeah, about. Sure. Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
When'd this start? Like, two months ago?
- MYMichael Yo
Uh, yeah. Maybe like that. It sounds like-
- JRJoe Rogan
I'm in full-blown addiction mode now.
- NANarrator
(clears throat)
- MYMichael Yo
But what is the thr- like, I, I-
- JRJoe Rogan
What's the thrill?
- MYMichael Yo
Yes.
- JRJoe Rogan
Do you see us? We're all sweaty and adrenaline charged.
- MYMichael Yo
Yeah. No, I walked in-
- JRJoe Rogan
We're having a great ass time.
- MYMichael Yo
I, uh, I walked in, it looks like I just finished working out. It was, like, crazy.
- JRJoe Rogan
Jamie and I were going to war. We go to war. We talk a lotta shit, too. We go to war. (laughs)
- MYMichael Yo
Oh, man. (laughs) I try to, I try... (laughs) Can we talk about it?
- JRJoe Rogan
It's fun. It's fun. When he kills me, he talks shit to me. It's rough. You're like, "Goddamn it, he got me. Fuckers."
- MYMichael Yo
Is that a game where people can go online and play with you two?
- JRJoe Rogan
No, we don't play with other people.
- MYMichael Yo
Oh, okay. (laughs) Okay.
- JRJoe Rogan
No, we jump online. This is the game though.
- MYMichael Yo
This is it.
- JRJoe Rogan
This is the game. Yeah, dude, it is a fun ass fucking game. It's, it's called Quake Champions.
- MYMichael Yo
Okay.
- JRJoe Rogan
And pe- people right now listening going, "Goddamn it, he's talking about that again?"
- MYMichael Yo
About Quake again?
- JRJoe Rogan
But me and Jamie have been, um, and, and Jeff, our other employee, have been playing this fucking constantly.
- MYMichael Yo
See, okay. See, this isn't bad because they're like characters.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- MYMichael Yo
Like I was playing one where it's like human beings.
- 53:53 – 1:05:20
Self-defense and jiu-jitsu: where to start, gym culture, and belt timelines
- MYMichael Yo
Okay. So, so say I started to go to a fight gym. Like, where would I start at?
- JRJoe Rogan
Um-
- MYMichael Yo
Like, what would I do?
- JRJoe Rogan
I would say you should try jujitsu 'cause it's fun, it's really good exercise, and you'll learn some stuff.
- MYMichael Yo
Okay.
- JRJoe Rogan
Like, you'll learn how to do it. It's, it's a technique-based art. Whereas, like, say if, um, (clicks tongue) if you... Like, there's, there's guys that I will, uh, do jujitsu sparring we call rolling.
- MYMichael Yo
Okay.
- JRJoe Rogan
There's guys that I will roll with that are weaker than me, smaller than me, and tap me every time I roll with them. And I'm a black belt.
- MYMichael Yo
Okay.
- JRJoe Rogan
Like, that's reality. Like, if there's, there's guys out there that are 150 pounds that I can roll with that I know will tap me virtually every time we roll because their technique is sharper, they train more often than I am, they're more focused, they're more in the groove.
- MYMichael Yo
But I also heard you say, like, on one of your podcasts you gotta watch out who you train with because they might just try to hurt you.
- JRJoe Rogan
That's true.
- MYMichael Yo
So I need, I need-
- JRJoe Rogan
You gotta go to a good school with good ethics-
- MYMichael Yo
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
... 'cause a g- a good school with good ethics, they get rid of those guys. They toss-
- MYMichael Yo
Do you know, do you know one in Studio City? I'll do it.
- JRJoe Rogan
Sure, I'll get you a spot.
- MYMichael Yo
Yeah. No, I-
- JRJoe Rogan
We'll find a spot.
- MYMichael Yo
I'll do it. I wanna learn-
- JRJoe Rogan
Well, there's a good spot just a little further than that in Tarzana.
- MYMichael Yo
Okay.
- JRJoe Rogan
M- Machado's where I got my black belt.
- MYMichael Yo
Uh-huh.
- JRJoe Rogan
It's, uh, Jean Jacques Machado. I train there sometimes. And, um, he used to have a place in Malibu, but, uh, it closed down because of the fires. Um, but they, um, they have an outstanding gym. It's, like, one of the best in the country and it's in that area. Like, as far as teaching-
- MYMichael Yo
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
... top notch. Like, but there's a lot of really good-... jujitsu schools now. It's not like, um ... Like, when I started in '96, it was hard to find a good gym. There was only, like, five of 'em in all of California, right?
- MYMichael Yo
Uh-huh.
- JRJoe Rogan
'Cause it was just starting out. It was, like, '93 is when jujitsu sort of emerged in the public consciousness because of the UFC. And then they were ... The gyms started, like, popping up.
Episode duration: 3:00:31
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