Joe Rogan Experience #1280 - Michael Yo

Michael Yo 0:00 Will you go through all three of those? (coffee machine clicks)

Joe Rogan 0:02 No. (coffee machine clicks) No.

Michael Yo 0:02 Oh, okay.

Joe Rogan 0:02 No. One other one is for you.

Michael Yo 0:04 Oh, okay, good.

Joe Rogan 0:04 Just in case you wanted two.

Michael Yo 0:05 Good.

Joe Rogan 0:06 (laughs)

Michael Yo 0:06 (laughs) 'Cause all yo- that's a beast.

Joe Rogan 0:08 Ridiculous.

Michael Yo 0:08 You're a fucking beast goin' through three co- (laughs)

Joe Rogan 0:10 Oh, we're live.

Michael Yo 0:11 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 0:12 (laughs)

Michael Yo 0:12 That's like-

Joe Rogan 0:12 You're a beast. We're tryna figure out how much... I think these are 270 milligrams of caffeine. If you drank three of these, Jamie, that would kill you, right? That would kill you?

Narrator 0:21 Uh, no.

Joe Rogan 0:21 No.

Michael Yo 0:21 Wouldn't kill you.

Joe Rogan 0:22 It would fuck you up.

Michael Yo 0:23 I thought you walked in with three coffees. I was like-

Joe Rogan 0:25 Oh, I just- (laughs)

Michael Yo 0:25 ... "Goddamn, Rogan, you're gonna die. Like straight up die after the show."

Joe Rogan 0:29 No. One is for you.

Michael Yo 0:30 Okay.

Joe Rogan 0:30 And, uh, hopefully we won't need both... Well, I- I don't know. I've, I've drank both of them before on a show-

Michael Yo 0:34 I, uh-

Joe Rogan 0:34 ... which is like 500 plus milligrams.

Michael Yo 0:36 I'm addicted to coffee, though, man. I will just drink it. When I'm- I don't even need a high.

Joe Rogan 0:39 I love it.

Michael Yo 0:40 I'll just drink it.

Joe Rogan 0:40 I love the smell of it.

Michael Yo 0:41 It's so good in the morning, man.

Joe Rogan 0:43 Yeah, yeah, it is.

Michael Yo 0:44 Ah, it's the best.

Joe Rogan 0:44 And I, I, I love it with cream, I love it black, I love espresso. I love it all.

Michael Yo 0:50 See, I, I got rid of drinking the whole coffee. I'm now an espresso drinker.

Joe Rogan 0:55 Really?

Michael Yo 0:55 Two shots in the morning.

Joe Rogan 0:57 A double shot?

Michael Yo 0:57 A double shot.

Joe Rogan 0:58 Yeah.

Michael Yo 0:58 And then, like, couple hours later, another d- I'll do, like, eight double shots throughout the day, because to me, that's better than drinking one coffee.

Joe Rogan 1:04 Yes. Yeah.

Michael Yo 1:05 But it's not.

Joe Rogan 1:05 It's not.

Michael Yo 1:06 Is (laughs) .

Joe Rogan 1:07 It's actually... Apparently espresso has less caffeine in it than coffee does. Even though it seems like it has a lot, it d- it doesn't.

Michael Yo 1:15 But you have to drink more acidic acid.

Joe Rogan 1:17 Just tastes like shit.

Michael Yo 1:18 Yeah. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:18 It just tastes like shit, but i- y- it's definitely an acquired taste. I enjoy it, but it's one of the rare things I drink that is that big. And I'm holding my finger up like a-

Michael Yo 1:26 Yeah. Two inches.

Joe Rogan 1:27 Two inches.

Michael Yo 1:28 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:28 It's that. It's two inches, and it'll take me 10, 15 minutes to drink it.

Michael Yo 1:32 For an espresso?

Joe Rogan 1:33 Yeah, it should be like a s- a slug.

Michael Yo 1:34 Oh my God.

Joe Rogan 1:35 Like I throw it down.

Michael Yo 1:35 Why are you drinking so slow?

Joe Rogan 1:36 I like it. I like to savor it. (smacks lips)

Michael Yo 1:38 Oh. No, man.

Joe Rogan 1:38 Like this, like gentleman. Pinkies out, bro.

Michael Yo 1:40 Pinkies out. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:40 There's only one way to do it. With these fat Neanderthal fingers?

Michael Yo 1:43 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:43 'Cause if you're holding that little tiny handle-

Michael Yo 1:45 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:45 ... you can't get your whole hand in there like a man.

Michael Yo 1:47 You can't look like a man drinking an espresso.

Joe Rogan 1:49 Right. It's not like a beer stein-

Michael Yo 1:50 No.

Joe Rogan 1:50 ... made out of a, a rhino horn. (laughs)

Michael Yo 1:53 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:54 It's, it's some tiny little thing.

Michael Yo 1:56 You cannot look tough drinking an expre- But I, I drink mine in like three seconds.

Joe Rogan 2:00 Do you just throw it down?

Michael Yo 2:01 I just pound 'em, and then I go to the gym.

Joe Rogan 2:03 I kinda... Well, I do that too. One time I, uh, I drank five. I have an espresso espresso maker, and I put five capsules in there and I filled a mug up with it.

Michael Yo 2:12 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 2:12 Like a coffee mug. And I drank it, and I ran four miles like a f-

Michael Yo 2:16 Now, was it as s-

Joe Rogan 2:17 ... a fucking animal through the hills, like I was being chased by wolves.

Michael Yo 2:20 (laughs) You're just howling. (howls)

Joe Rogan 2:22 (laughs) I was like, "What the fuck am I doing?"

Michael Yo 2:24 Wolves are chasing you. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 2:25 I was like, "Why did I drink so much?" So what does espresso have? What does it say there, Jamie? Okay, coffee brewed. See, but it all, is all depends on the company, 'cause Starbucks is extremely caffeinated. Yeah, see, Starbucks is way up the chart. Look at it there.

Michael Yo 2:40 What?

Joe Rogan 2:40 Starbucks tall is like closing in on 200 and... What does it look? It looks like about 270.

Narrator 2:46 Yeah, I think that's about right.

Joe Rogan 2:47 Somewhere in the range of 270 milligrams of caffeine.

Michael Yo 2:50 But that's a coffee. That's not-

Joe Rogan 2:51 Right, not an espresso.

Michael Yo 2:52 ... espresso. So, so a coffee, it would be better to go to Starbucks and get a tall coffee then.

Joe Rogan 2:56 But there's an espresso. See how low it is? It's below 100.

Michael Yo 2:59 Oh. Yeah. So, so that's why I'm drinking so many of 'em.

Joe Rogan 3:00 So when I drank five, I guess, I think I had five.

Michael Yo 3:03 (laughs) You did 500.

Joe Rogan 3:04 I've taken 500 milligrams.

Michael Yo 3:05 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 3:05 Which is basically less than drinking two of these things.

Michael Yo 3:09 See?

Joe Rogan 3:10 Yeah. These Caveman Nitros. These are the shit.

Michael Yo 3:12 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 3:13 I live off these goddamn things. They're responsible for half my productivity.

Michael Yo 3:16 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 3:16 I'm basically, I'm too chicken shit to go on Adderall.

Michael Yo 3:19 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 3:19 So I just, I just drink this stuff all day. (laughs)

Michael Yo 3:24 Well... (laughs) Well, yeah, it's a good move, good move. I, I, there's nothing wrong with coffee, man.

Joe Rogan 3:28 I'm scared of Adderall. But people admit they're aller- uh, they're addicted to coffee, and everyone's like, "Ah, me too." If you go, "Dude, I am so addicted to Adderall," they're like, "Okay, Joe."

Michael Yo 3:36 Dude.

Joe Rogan 3:37 "I'm not calling you anymore." (laughs)

Michael Yo 3:38 Dude. Like, like you're gonna, you, you're gonna think I'm lame, but 'til five years ago, I didn't even know what Adderall was.

Joe Rogan 3:43 G- no, I think you're smart.

Michael Yo 3:44 Like, I did not-

Joe Rogan 3:45 Good for you.

Michael Yo 3:45 Like, all my friends in Houston, they did it. And I asked my friend, like I text him, and I go, "Hey man, what's your, you got, uh, what's your addy?" And he goes, "Yeah, we got Adderall." I was like, "What are you tal- No, your address to go to your house."

Joe Rogan 3:58 Ah.

Michael Yo 3:58 Like li- literally, he thought I was talking about Adderall, and then he explained to me, like when you're in a club and you wanna stay up and you wanna stay, like, energized, you take Adderall. And I was like, "Oh, okay." But I, I don't drink. So I can stay up 'til three, four o'clock in the morning and be fine.

Joe Rogan 4:13 What's fascinating about Adderall is what they've essentially done is taken an amphetamine and made it so that if you prescribe it for a condition, right? Like they give it to people who have, uh, well ADD is one of them, right?

Michael Yo 4:27 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 4:27 Whatever the fuck that means. And it's very debatable whether or not you have it or h- don't have it.

Michael Yo 4:32 Everybody has ADD.

Joe Rogan 4:32 Depending upon... I have it for sure.

Michael Yo 4:34 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 4:34 If it's real. If it's real, I have it. But they give you Adderall-

Michael Yo 4:37 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 4:38 ... which is fucking speed. And because it's a medication that you give to somebody who has, supposedly has a condition, and by the way, I'm not m- diagnosing you. If you're out there, you're getting frustrated with me right now.

Michael Yo 4:47 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 4:48 Just listen to me. It's fucking speed. Maybe you need speed. Maybe you're that person that needs speed. Maybe you do need it legitimately as a medication, but there's a fuck load of people-

Michael Yo 4:59 It's-

Joe Rogan 4:59 ... that are just doing speed. (laughs)

Michael Yo 5:01 So by somebody giving you speed, it's supposed to slow you down so you won't have ADD? Is that the reasoning?

Joe Rogan 5:06 That's what they say. They say legit, if you have the legit ADD... Look, I am not doubting that some people have whatever the fuck-

Michael Yo 5:14 100%.

Joe Rogan 5:14 ... I have worse than I have it.

Michael Yo 5:15 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 5:15 There's a spectrum, right? With everything. But for some people when they take Adderall or similar type of substances, it actually lets them focus and they can, they can actually be on track.

Michael Yo 5:27 So by speeding it up, somehow it focuses in?

Joe Rogan 5:30 I don't get it. I think their system-

Michael Yo 5:31 I don't understand.

Joe Rogan 5:31 ... it's, I think the idea is that it's proof that their system is wired wrong, which is why when you give 'em that speed, they can center out and mellow out.

Michael Yo 5:39 My, uh, fr-

Joe Rogan 5:40 Weird.

Michael Yo 5:40 ... my friend's a doctor, and I was talking to him, and I used to, you know, just pop by to say what's up, and he goes, "Hey man, just to let you know, the more you go to a doctor, the faster you'll die." And I go, "What?"

Joe Rogan 5:52 (laughs)

Michael Yo 5:52 Yeah. He's like, "I just wanna let-"

Joe Rogan 5:54 What?

Michael Yo 5:54 No, yeah, yeah. He says, "The more you go to us, you come to us, the faster you'll die." I was like, "What are you talking about?" 'Cause a lot of doctors are crooked, and they'll give you something for what you think you got. And then after that wears off, they have to give you something else. So now, you just keep filling yourself with stuff to fix the other thing that was wrong.

Joe Rogan 6:12 Oh.

Michael Yo 6:12 And he goes, "Some, some doctors are not good people." And he goes, "The more people go to doctors, the faster they die." Put it in point. My mom beat breast cancer twice, right? And my dad's never been to the doctor. He's 75 years old. Never been to the doctor once. 'Cause he's like, "Well, as soon as you go to the doctor, they tell you something's wrong, you die." You know, literally.

Joe Rogan 6:29 Yeah, but if you have cancer, you should go to a fucking doctor.

Michael Yo 6:32 Well, he didn't have cancer. My mom did.

Joe Rogan 6:34 Right, but if he had cancer, he should go to a fucking doctor.

Michael Yo 6:36 But I don't think he would go even if he had.

Joe Rogan 6:38 What?

Michael Yo 6:38 Yeah. He's just-

Joe Rogan 6:38 But your mom beat it twice, and she's still here.

Michael Yo 6:41 Yeah. Yeah, she is.

Joe Rogan 6:41 So it doesn't mean-

Michael Yo 6:42 And the second time she beat it, she didn't even tell me she had it.

Joe Rogan 6:44 Doesn't your dad wanna beat it if he gets it?

Michael Yo 6:46 Nah.

Joe Rogan 6:46 Yeah, he's fuck it.

Michael Yo 6:47 My dad is the kind of dude who's like, "Hey, I've been through a lot, I'm fine." Like, he's, he hates going to the doctor. The on- only time he went to the doctor he had a back problem. And that's it.

Joe Rogan 6:56 I mean, feel like if he met a good doctor.

Michael Yo 6:56 But that's old school.

Joe Rogan 6:58 What if he met a good doctor? Like a doctor that he likes, like a guy he plays golf with or some shit. Does your dad play golf?

Michael Yo 7:02 Not, my dad, my dad is not social.

Joe Rogan 7:05 He's not?

Michael Yo 7:05 No.

Joe Rogan 7:06 No?

Michael Yo 7:06 No. I'm totally-

Joe Rogan 7:07 That's weird, you're so social.

Michael Yo 7:08 I, I'm totally opposite. Like, my dad's story is crazy. Like, he, you know, he went through segregation, he got a PhD in Nuclear Physics.

Joe Rogan 7:15 Whoa.

Michael Yo 7:16 Oh, yeah. My dad's a genius. But-

Joe Rogan 7:18 Oh, shit.

Michael Yo 7:19 But-

Joe Rogan 7:19 And you're out there talking shit and telling jokes. (laughs)

Michael Yo 7:21 Yeah. (laughs) Telling jokes. I'm a failure in my family. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 7:24 But you're not 'cause you're a success at it, so he's gotta go, "All right."

Michael Yo 7:27 Yeah. Yeah, he knew-

Joe Rogan 7:29 You know?

Michael Yo 7:29 He's the one that told me to drop out of college.

Joe Rogan 7:31 Really?

Michael Yo 7:31 Yeah. I played football for the u-

Joe Rogan 7:32 How did he say it, though?

Michael Yo 7:33 He said, "You need to drop out of college. You're not smart." Like... (laughs)

Joe Rogan 7:38 (laughs)

Michael Yo 7:38 ... Oh, no. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 7:38 See, that's not supportive. It's not like, "Michael, you need to drop out of college and chase your dreams."

Michael Yo 7:43 Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. He's like... My dad's whole thing is, "I got a PhD in Nuclear Physics. I know what wanting to be in school is."

Joe Rogan 7:50 Oh.

Michael Yo 7:50 "And, and you don't wanna be in school, and you, you got a personality, go do that. But you're dumb." Like literally.

Joe Rogan 7:56 Oh, no.

Michael Yo 7:56 He would say that.

Joe Rogan 7:57 Oh, my God.

Michael Yo 7:57 My parents were not supportive though.

Joe Rogan 7:59 (laughs)

Michael Yo 7:59 They were just not supportive. Like my mom wanted me to be a doctor, but she knew I wasn't bright enough to be a doctor, so like, my dad said, "You gotta drop out."

Joe Rogan 8:08 See, I don't think you're not bright enough to be a doctor. I think you're not interested in being a doctor.

Michael Yo 8:12 Yeah. Nah.

Joe Rogan 8:13 See, 'cause I see how you pursue standup and show business. You're, you're a bright, ambitious guy.

Michael Yo 8:19 Oh, 100%.

Joe Rogan 8:19 You just don't wanna be operating on people that are on anesthesia with fucking headlamps on and shit, and rubber gloves covered with blood. Get the fuck outta here.

Michael Yo 8:28 I don't, I don't want nobody dying on me. That would be the worst.

Joe Rogan 8:30 Ooh.

Michael Yo 8:30 Having somebody die while you're working on them? And then you gotta go tell their fam, "Hey man, sorry, my bad."

Joe Rogan 8:36 Jesus Christ.

Michael Yo 8:36 You know? Ugh, the pressure of those people.

Joe Rogan 8:39 Jamie, was it you that was telling me yesterday about the guy who's the EMT who sees... Tell me, tell me what you told me.

Narrator 8:44 He said, he said he was listening to the podcast we did with Luis J Gomez about people getting head injuries. Uh, and he has been doing it I believe for like 15 years or so, like, doesn't do it every single day, 'cause you don't work every single day, but on a three-day basis or so. Every day he works, he sees at least one person dead from a head injury. Whether it's an elderly person, they slipped on ice, something.

Joe Rogan 9:05 People fall and hit their heads.

Michael Yo 9:07 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 9:07 Like, that's why, please folks, if you're listening to me and you wanna punch somebody and knock them out, please don't do it. Just go to a gym, get your frustrations out, don't fight on the street. You could kill somebody or you can get killed, even accidentally. Even if you really don't hate the guy that much, you punch him in the face-

Michael Yo 9:25 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 9:25 ... they go unconscious, their head hits the ground. People die all the time. I mean, I've told the story about when Kevin James used to work as a bouncer in Long Island. A, a guy that he was working with punched a guy and killed him.

Michael Yo 9:36 Really?

Joe Rogan 9:36 Yeah. Kevin, Kevin wasn't there but he knew the guy, and the guy accidentally killed a drunk guy. Drunk guy was coming at him, he punched him I guess, I'm, I don't know the whole story. But that shit happens all the time. I've seen guys get knocked out.

Michael Yo 9:48 And it's not about the punch though, it's about when they hit their head after the punch.

Joe Rogan 9:52 You're getting hit by the world.

Michael Yo 9:54 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 9:54 Think about that. Think if the world just dropped on your head. That's what it's like. Your body mass bouncing off a completely-

Michael Yo 10:02 Ugh.

Joe Rogan 10:02 ... especially concrete, there's no give. So your head just ka-clock. It sounds horrible. Wa- listen to someone's head bounce off concrete. It's one of the scariest fucking sounds.

Michael Yo 10:12 Ugh.

Joe Rogan 10:12 It's horrible. Even if you do it to somebody and you wanted to hurt them, when you hear their head bounce off concrete, you're like, "Oh, shit." Like, that's not as simple as, like, you punched them. You punched them and then, you know, whatever they weigh, 190 pounds, with all the mass of grav- all their mass and gravity pulling them towards the ground with nothing slowing it down but meat and head, bang, bone, shoulder.

Michael Yo 10:38 I, I, that reminds me when I was 10 years old I was sitting on the curb. And this is the first time I saw death in real life from a head injury.

Joe Rogan 10:45 Mmm.

Michael Yo 10:45 I was sitting with my friend on the curb and a guy was driving a motorcycle, and he was speeding up and down the street. And right on Iriswood in Houston, Texas, he's flying down, a car pulls out. And he hits it, back then they didn't wear helmets, so he literally flew up in the air and landed about 20 feet from us. His head hit first.

Joe Rogan 11:04 Oh.

Michael Yo 11:04 And exploded like a watermelon.

Joe Rogan 11:06 Oh.

Michael Yo 11:06 And this is like, I was 10 years old watching this. So the next morn- you know, the police come, my parents get me, they tell me, "Don't look at it." To put, I, I, I'm, I go out there the next day, it's just blood stains everywhere, and his wife is picking up his hair that's stuck to the concrete.

Joe Rogan 11:21 Oh.

Michael Yo 11:21 And I remember it so vividly. I was, next door neighbor was Eric, and we were sitting on the curb watching this lady pick up her, uh, husband's hair that was stuck in, and that's the first time I ever saw death. And it, it, it, it was, ugh.

Joe Rogan 11:36 Fuck, man.

Michael Yo 11:37 And it was a gnarly death too. It was like that Faces of Death stuff. Like, it was bad. It was bad.

Joe Rogan 11:43 The, the, they got-

Michael Yo 11:43 I never rode a motorcycle because of that.

Joe Rogan 11:45 Yeah, there's not-

Michael Yo 11:46 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 11:46 ... there's not a lot of reasons to ride a motorcycle other than it's awesome.

Michael Yo 11:49 Yeah. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 11:51 Just is fuck, the fucking danger. I, I took, uh, motorcycle safety classes, and then two of my friends, uh, wiped out. One of them got hit by a car, and one of them, uh, fell, uh, going around a corner and fucked his shoulder up.

Michael Yo 12:05 I, uh, I, after that accident, probably about six years later, you know, when three-wheelers were big back then?

Joe Rogan 12:11 Yeah.

Michael Yo 12:11 And my friend, same friend that was on the curb, we were f- three-wheeling and, and where I grew up, there was a bunch of ditches. So we're going and he thought he could go down in the ditch and come up the other side, but I think he forgot that it's flat on the bottom of real ditches.

Joe Rogan 12:27 Ugh.

Michael Yo 12:27 So literally, we're going and we hit the bottom, and I flew out, and literally half my face was, like, just wrecked. I was in a hospital and...

12:37 And we didn't have helmets at that time.

Joe Rogan 12:39 Of course.

Michael Yo 12:39 And 'cause we're young and dumb, and just wanted to like-

Joe Rogan 12:42 Ugh. Stupid.

Michael Yo 12:43 Stupid. Stupid to... Like-

Joe Rogan 12:44 Kids, you, you shouldn't, it like, when you let boys just wander around...

Michael Yo 12:48 It's never good.

Joe Rogan 12:49 It's never. The dumb shit that they do that they think is okay. "Let's try this." "Hey, take those fireworks and stick 'em in this tree, this old l- rotted down tree. Let's blow it up." (laughs)

Michael Yo 13:00 Yeah, and the, and the problem is, I think, (laughs) I think, I think today parents, at least we know more. I feel we tell, but like our parents, at least my parents, they didn't really give me guidance. You know?

Joe Rogan 13:11 Right.

Michael Yo 13:11 They were kind of like, "Hey, figure it out on your own."

Joe Rogan 13:14 Mine too. Yeah.

Michael Yo 13:15 Yeah, and-

Joe Rogan 13:15 I think that was that generation, though.

Michael Yo 13:16 Yeah, they, yeah. Like my parents-

Joe Rogan 13:18 Yeah.

Michael Yo 13:18 ... is the parents that didn't tell you they loved me till I was 29, and I forced them to.

Joe Rogan 13:22 Oh, wow.

Michael Yo 13:22 It's that kind of thing. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 13:24 That's different. Yeah, my parents told me they loved me all the time. (laughs)

Michael Yo 13:31 (laughs) My parents were hippies. You know my mom and stepdad are hippies.

Joe Rogan 13:36 I, I don't know. Maybe it was my...

Michael Yo 13:37 In a, in a good way. They're like really, really nice people.

Joe Rogan 13:40 In a good way. Yeah, I don't...

Michael Yo 13:40 But, um, yeah, man, th- they didn't tell me shit though, sp- like the, what to do.

Joe Rogan 13:44 Yeah.

Michael Yo 13:44 They told my why are your grades so bad? I'm like, "I don't, what the fuck do I do? Tell me, someone tell me what to do." (laughs) But they've worked, man. You know like when, and you have, like if you have full-time job and the wife has a full-time job and you're raising children, man, how much time does that really leave?

Joe Rogan 13:58 I mean, none.

Michael Yo 13:58 You don't get home until 6:00, 7:00. Like Wendy get out of work at 5:00. Like by the time you get home, kids been home from school for three hours, they're already exhausted.

Joe Rogan 14:05 Yeah.

Michael Yo 14:05 They just wanna eat and go to sleep.

Joe Rogan 14:07 Yeah.

Michael Yo 14:07 Like you're not learning anything about each other for like five days a week.

Joe Rogan 14:10 Well, I, that's my, my mom worked for my dad, so I got to see my mom a lot.

Michael Yo 14:15 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 14:15 But it, it was a type of relationship where when I was growing up, my mom's Asian, my dad's black, that I guess there wasn't that, "Hey, we love you." I mean, I knew they loved me, but they didn't ever say it.

Michael Yo 14:24 They didn't express it.

Joe Rogan 14:25 And the only reason they said it is because I was, uh, dating a girl at the time, and they used the "I love you" thing all the time, and I thought that was very strange, 'cause I've never heard people just say it all the... "Hey, I love you, I love you, I love you." So I called my dad and I was like, "Hey, I love you." And he goes, and he hung up. Like literally, he got, like kinda like, he was just like, "Okay." You know, it's like, "All right, cool." And then he hung up. And then now after I got married and have a kid, now we say it, "I love you" all the time. You know? Mm-hmm.

Michael Yo 14:53 So, 'cause I don't want my son to grow up with no "I love yous."

Joe Rogan 14:56 Beautiful. That's-

Michael Yo 14:57 You know?

Joe Rogan 14:57 Yeah. Yeah.

Michael Yo 14:58 Yeah, it's just-

Joe Rogan 14:58 It's...

Michael Yo 14:58 It's a different time for them, man. It was a different time.

Joe Rogan 15:01 It's a foolish insecurity. 'Cause if you say you love you, if you say I love you to someone, um, either they love you back and it feels great, or they don't and you don't hang out with them anymore.

Michael Yo 15:11 (laughs) It's so true. You ever say I love you to somebody-

Joe Rogan 15:15 It's fucking easy.

Michael Yo 15:15 ... and they're like, "Eh."

Joe Rogan 15:16 Well, I, I reserve it for people that I love. And usually they love you too.

Michael Yo 15:20 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 15:20 Unless you're, there's something wrong with your wiring.

Michael Yo 15:22 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 15:23 Unless you're looking at it wrong, you know?

Michael Yo 15:24 Yeah, I, no, that's never happened to me, Joe-

Joe Rogan 15:27 But I-

Michael Yo 15:27 ... where I've told somebody I loved them and they said n- nothing back.

Joe Rogan 15:29 It can happen, is it, dudes clam up sometimes. Tell a friend you love them. "Hey, I love you, man." They go, "Yikes."

Michael Yo 15:35 Yeah. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 15:37 (laughs)

Michael Yo 15:37 This is not for me. Where does...

Joe Rogan 15:39 This is too weird, man. I grew up in Nebraska.

Michael Yo 15:43 But I think it's also a young dude thing too. When you're young, you know, you're macho. You don't wanna say I love you to another dude.

Joe Rogan 15:48 Yeah, for sure.

Michael Yo 15:49 Now when y- when you get older, like...

Joe Rogan 15:49 Especially if you living in Nebraska.

Michael Yo 15:51 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 15:51 Nebraska. I'm just kidding, Nebraska.

Michael Yo 15:53 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 15:53 Don't get uptight. Somebody sent me a box of Nebraska T-shirts 'cause I shouted Nebraska once.

Michael Yo 15:56 Like the Cornhuskers?

Joe Rogan 15:58 Like, listen, son, I ain't wearing that. Look. (laughs)

Michael Yo 16:01 (laughs) My, my wife's father is from Nebraska.

Joe Rogan 16:04 Is he?

Michael Yo 16:04 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 16:05 Well, there you go.

Michael Yo 16:06 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 16:06 It's a good spot.

Michael Yo 16:08 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 16:08 It's a good a spot as any.

Michael Yo 16:09 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 16:09 All those spots that used to suck, they don't suck as much anymore now because the internet.

Michael Yo 16:13 I mean, really?

Joe Rogan 16:13 Yeah.

Michael Yo 16:13 I mean, what, what's there to do in Nebraska? Let's be serious. Like...

Joe Rogan 16:16 Pheasant hunt. I think it's a good pheasant hunting spot.

Michael Yo 16:19 Okay, okay. They got the Cornhuskers.

Joe Rogan 16:21 They got corn.

Michael Yo 16:21 They got corn, the husk-

Joe Rogan 16:22 I mean, if you just wanna be alone and start, start a cult, I think it's a good spot to start out.

Michael Yo 16:26 It's great. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 16:27 If you wanna start a cult though, you gotta live in an attractive climate. You know, I think that's why, uh, that's why... Well, what's that place in Arizona that everybody goes to?

Michael Yo 16:35 Scottsdale?

Joe Rogan 16:36 No, no, no, the other one.

Narrator 16:37 Sedona?

Joe Rogan 16:37 Yeah, that one. That's the one where all the cult leaders go to.

Michael Yo 16:40 Well, okay. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 16:41 (laughs)

Michael Yo 16:42 Well, how do you explain Waco then? That's the armpit of Texas. Let's just-

Joe Rogan 16:45 It is, but it isn't. You can get to Dallas pretty quick from Waco.

Michael Yo 16:49 Okay. That's right. You can recruit, you can go to Dallas, recruit.

Joe Rogan 16:51 Yeah, you can go to Dallas and say, "Listen, we got a ranch out in Waco."

Michael Yo 16:54 Go check out a Cowboys game, come back, after recruiting.

Joe Rogan 16:56 It's not that far. Yeah.

Michael Yo 16:58 No, yeah, I, I couldn't, uh, this whole cult thing, I don't get it.

Joe Rogan 17:01 Sedona's a weird one, right, because it's all like crystals and healers. It's all people looking to be spiritual. Like they've given up on, on traditional religion, but they seem to need that sort of vibe.

Michael Yo 17:12 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 17:12 And so they, they get into like spiritual stuff and channelers and healers.

Michael Yo 17:17 Have you got into that stuff ever?

Joe Rogan 17:18 Yeah, oh, I'm into it all day long.

Michael Yo 17:20 All right.

Joe Rogan 17:21 (laughs)

Michael Yo 17:21 Oh.

Joe Rogan 17:22 I'm all about channeling, bro.

Michael Yo 17:24 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 17:25 That's my thing. I'm into channeling.

Michael Yo 17:27 Yeah, right.

Joe Rogan 17:28 I mean, no, no. I think we, I really do believe, and I've, I've been believing this more and more lately though, that our understanding of what our memory is, is, uh, very limited. And that the reason why people are scared of things, some things, is probably because there's some sorta genetic memory of someone that they knew. Like I bet your kid will have, somehow or another, that knowledge of that motorcycle accident and that feet... There's, I think shit like that-

Michael Yo 17:58 No.

Joe Rogan 17:58 ... goes through DNA.

Michael Yo 18:00 Really?

Joe Rogan 18:00 I do. Yeah, I do. I think that's why kids are scared of monsters. You know, why are kids scared of monsters? Why aren't they scared of, uh, bullets or fires or, you know, like why, why aren't they scared? I mean, th- they're, they're scared of something that...

Michael Yo 18:11 That I was scared of growing up? Is that what you're saying?

Joe Rogan 18:13 No, that animals used to eat people.

Michael Yo 18:15 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 18:15 That's what I think.

Michael Yo 18:16 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 18:16 I think w- monsters represent like jaguars and shit. Like you're going through the jungle to try to get some water and you get jacked. That's our ancestors.

Michael Yo 18:23 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 18:23 All of our ancestors, every single human being on this planet came from Africa, all of us, 100% of us, every one.

Michael Yo 18:31 Absolutely.

Joe Rogan 18:32 Asian, black, white, all of us got eaten. All of our ancestors got eaten.

Michael Yo 18:36 So in our DNA it's wired that...

Joe Rogan 18:38 There's cats out there, bro. (growls) What are you afraid of? Monsters in the dark. Those are cats, man. We got jacked by cats, like, all the time.

Michael Yo 18:47 I- i- yeah.

Joe Rogan 18:48 Yeah.

Michael Yo 18:48 I-

Joe Rogan 18:48 So, that's why everybody's scared of things under the bed. What's in the closet? They're hiding. They're cats. Big cats looking to get you.

Michael Yo 18:56 I don't know about that. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 19:02 (laughs)

Narrator 19:03 (laughs)

Michael Yo 19:03 (clapping) Like, this was very scary for a moment, but I don't believe in that, Joe. I-

Joe Rogan 19:07 Well, why do you think that animals have instincts, right? Like, here's a perfect example.

Michael Yo 19:10 But we have instincts.

Joe Rogan 19:10 Right, but what kind of instincts? Animals have weird instincts, like, they all sniff each other's assholes.

Michael Yo 19:15 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 19:16 They all piss on spots where other animals did. They don't... Nobody had to teach my dog how to do that. My dog, I got him when he was six weeks old, and I've had him for two and a half years. That motherfucker will sniff somethin', and if he sees somebody peed on it, he pees on it.

Michael Yo 19:28 But he learned that-

Joe Rogan 19:29 Who you talking about here?

Michael Yo 19:29 ... from his, his-

Joe Rogan 19:30 He didn't learn that from nobody.

Michael Yo 19:31 No, he learned that from his dog people, whatever, like-

Joe Rogan 19:34 Trust me-

Michael Yo 19:34 ... he learned-

Joe Rogan 19:34 ... when he came over here, he didn't know jack shit.

Michael Yo 19:36 So, he learned that from our-

Joe Rogan 19:37 He was six months old. He went, pissed on the ground-

Michael Yo 19:37 What, you're saying he learned that from us?

Joe Rogan 19:39 No, I think it's in his DNA.

Michael Yo 19:41 His DNA. Okay, yeah, I get that. But...

Joe Rogan 19:42 But what is the DNA? Like, doesn't your DNA carry some traces of information onto your own children? Like, what I notice in my children-

Michael Yo 19:50 Okay.

Joe Rogan 19:51 ... they share certain weird traits that I have, that I don't th- like, like, uh, obsessive-compulsive traits that I don't think they see, because I don't really bring that home. Like, especially, like, the workout stuff, and, and, like, some, some things that I really get kind of psychotic about, martial arts stuff, my, my middle daughter has that in a crazy way. And I'm like, "Oh, okay, this is me if I was a girl."

Michael Yo 20:13 Okay.

Joe Rogan 20:13 Like, if I was a little girl, this is me. Like, what is... So, is this my memory that's in her? Or is it... Do I have, like, some weird, uh, obsessive gene?

Michael Yo 20:21 I-

Joe Rogan 20:22 Which is it?

Michael Yo 20:22 It i- it is the DNA, because I see my son, he's only two, he just turned two, but he makes facial expressions and looks, like, he does certain looks that I do.

Joe Rogan 20:33 Mm-hmm.

Michael Yo 20:33 And, and my wife goes, "He's acting like you right now." You know?

Joe Rogan 20:37 Do you think he's acting like you 'cause he sees you act like that?

Michael Yo 20:40 No.

Joe Rogan 20:40 Or is he acting like you because he knows-

Michael Yo 20:42 No.

Joe Rogan 20:42 ... in his head that that's how you react?

Michael Yo 20:43 It's... He's wired like that.

Joe Rogan 20:44 Ah.

Michael Yo 20:45 Because when I watch it, he doesn't kno- like, a lot of this stuff he does, I don't e- I don't even do.

Joe Rogan 20:51 Yeah.

Michael Yo 20:51 He just does th- like, my mom'll, uh, will come over, and she'll watch him, she'll go, "You know, he's just like you when you were this age."

Joe Rogan 20:57 Hmm.

Michael Yo 20:58 And it's so weir- yeah, it's in the DNA.

Joe Rogan 21:00 It's in something, right? Whatever it is, whether it's in cellular memory, DNA, some sort of genetic information gets passed on from the parents-

Michael Yo 21:09 But that's-

Joe Rogan 21:09 ... to the child.

Michael Yo 21:10 You could say that about-

Joe Rogan 21:10 Hmm.

Michael Yo 21:11 ... athletics, though. Like, if you get too-

Joe Rogan 21:12 No, that's, that's a little different, though. Because it's-

Michael Yo 21:14 But it's in the DNA.

Joe Rogan 21:15 Yeah, it is in the DNA-

Michael Yo 21:16 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 21:16 ... but it's not an ethereal thing like a thought.

Michael Yo 21:19 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 21:20 You know what I mean?

Michael Yo 21:20 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 21:21 Like, s- like, here's one. Ophidiophobia, or arachnophobia, fear of snakes or spiders. Those... Have you ever seen anybody who has that? Well, you were on Fear Factor with me.

Michael Yo 21:29 Oh, my God, that was-

Joe Rogan 21:30 (clears throat)

Michael Yo 21:30 ... that was the worst.

Joe Rogan 21:31 I should say, you were... You made it out, brother.

Michael Yo 21:33 No, both.

Joe Rogan 21:34 Congratulations.

Michael Yo 21:35 Yes. All right. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 21:35 (laughs)

Michael Yo 21:36 No, do you remem- I was on the-

Joe Rogan 21:37 Season one, episode one.

Michael Yo 21:39 I was the pilot episode-

Joe Rogan 21:40 Yeah.

Michael Yo 21:40 ... of Fear Factor.

Joe Rogan 21:40 The pilot episode.

Michael Yo 21:41 And that's where I met you-

Joe Rogan 21:42 Yeah.

Michael Yo 21:42 ... for the first ti- sixtee- can you believe sixteen... What? 2001.

Joe Rogan 21:46 Yeah.

Michael Yo 21:47 What is that? What are we-

Joe Rogan 21:47 S- that's 18 years ago.

Michael Yo 21:49 18 years ago we met.

Joe Rogan 21:50 Yeah.

Michael Yo 21:50 And-

Joe Rogan 21:50 Because that was, that was right after 9/11.

Michael Yo 21:52 Yes.

Joe Rogan 21:53 Yeah.

Michael Yo 21:53 Right after. And they flew us down, and the first time I met you, it was at Saddle Ranch. And you were like, "Welcome-"

Joe Rogan 22:00 Look at this, dude.

Michael Yo 22:01 Oh. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 22:02 Michael Yo. Okay, this is way later.

Michael Yo 22:04 This is later. This is later.

Joe Rogan 22:04 This is way later when we did the new season of it in, like, 2011, I think it was.

Michael Yo 22:08 Yeah, you tried to get me to eat that spider.

Joe Rogan 22:10 Yeah, that spider-

Michael Yo 22:11 And I was acting like a-

Joe Rogan 22:12 ... didn't even taste bad, bro.

Michael Yo 22:13 Dude. Dude, that's not a normal thing. And you just chomped it like a champ. So, this whole scene, I'm acting like a little bee.

Joe Rogan 22:19 Oh.

Michael Yo 22:20 And, and-

Joe Rogan 22:20 You just were a little, little s- fearful.

Michael Yo 22:22 No-

Joe Rogan 22:22 You got to eat sheep's eyebrow- eyeballs, though.

Michael Yo 22:24 Dude.

Joe Rogan 22:24 I remember what you had to eat.

Michael Yo 22:25 Dude, now those-

Joe Rogan 22:26 Yeah.

Michael Yo 22:26 ... were disgusting.

Joe Rogan 22:27 Yeah.

Michael Yo 22:27 Have you ever... Did you eat the sheep eyeball?

Joe Rogan 22:29 Yeah, I ate it because I felt bad for you guys. That was before I'd hardened, I'd been hardened to the world.

Michael Yo 22:33 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 22:33 'Cause you guys were episode one, season one.

Michael Yo 22:35 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 22:35 And it didn't seem right for me that you guys would have to eat these things and I didn't eat it. So, I said, "All right, if you guys eat it, I'll eat it too." But they didn't show it. Like, they wouldn't show it on television that I ate it, because they didn't... They, like, they didn't want it to look too easy.

Michael Yo 22:49 Easy, yeah.

Joe Rogan 22:50 That's so weird.

Michael Yo 22:51 But it, it was-

Joe Rogan 22:51 It tasted like shit, though.

Michael Yo 22:52 ... but yeah, oh, my God.

Joe Rogan 22:53 It was-

Michael Yo 22:53 I remember biting down into it and it kinda, like, burst.

Joe Rogan 22:56 Yeah.

Michael Yo 22:56 And then that retina-

Joe Rogan 22:57 Mm-hmm.

Michael Yo 22:57 ... that you had to just chomp-

Joe Rogan 22:58 Right, chewing.

Michael Yo 22:58 Chew... Yeah, you had to chew on that ret- And we had to eat three of them.

Joe Rogan 23:01 Yeah. They weren't good.

Michael Yo 23:03 No, they were horrible.

Joe Rogan 23:04 But you know what was surprisingly mild? I ate a roach. It t- well, I'm not, not bragging. Just didn't taste like much.

Michael Yo 23:11 And please... Just a roach?

Joe Rogan 23:12 No, it doesn't taste like much. Like, there's not-

Michael Yo 23:13 But why would you eat a roach?

Joe Rogan 23:14 I-

Michael Yo 23:14 Was that part of the show?

Joe Rogan 23:15 Yeah, it was, um... It was a celebrity Fear Factor, and-

Michael Yo 23:20 Okay.

Joe Rogan 23:20 ... um, there was a young lady who was scared to eat a roach, and, uh, she was gonna get eliminated from the show. And so I said, "Listen, I'll make you a deal. I'll... If you do it, I'll do it." And she's like, "You will?" I go, "Yeah, I will." And she wouldn't do it, so she made a deal, like, like, three worms. She decided, "I'll eat three worms." Like, we negotiated to three worms.

Michael Yo 23:41 Yeah. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 23:41 And so then I ate a roach.

Michael Yo 23:42 I, I remember when I was on that show, the question they would ask you in the survey is, "What's your fear of dying?"

Joe Rogan 23:48 Hmm.

Michael Yo 23:49 And I wrote down, "Dying under water," 'cause that would be my biggest fear, is dying under water. And so y- the l- our last stunt was when they dumped us under water.

Joe Rogan 23:57 Yeah.

Michael Yo 23:57 And my friends still send me screenshots of that, because that's when I had long hair and I put a bunch of gel in it.

Joe Rogan 24:03 (laughs)

Michael Yo 24:03 And they dunked me under the tank, and literally it looked like a squid shooting out ink.

Joe Rogan 24:08 (laughs) Like a slick.

Michael Yo 24:08 Oh, my God. You... If you... You can Google it. Google Michael Yeo, uh, Fear Factor. And it's... My friends will just screenshot that, and they still play that. To this day, they still play that episode of Fear Factor.

Joe Rogan 24:19 Yeah, they play all of them. They play them on, um, different, like, TruTV or something like that, one of those cable shows.

Michael Yo 24:25 I remember... I remember the... When we were talking-

Joe Rogan 24:27 (laughs)

Michael Yo 24:27 ... I would go... 'Cause you were... What show were you on at that time?

Joe Rogan 24:30 NewsRadio.

Michael Yo 24:31 You were on NewsRadio.

Joe Rogan 24:32 Well, I ha-... That was a couple years earlier. There you are. Look at that. What happened?

Michael Yo 24:36 Yeah, and, and... Oh, okay, so that's the sheep eyeball.

Joe Rogan 24:38 Look at this, Michael Yeo.

Michael Yo 24:39 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 24:40 (laughs) Look at you. Look at you, eating sheep's eyeballs.

Michael Yo 24:43 So, at the end, at the end, I go to Joe, and I go, "Hey, man, I- I can't do the last stunt." Look at that. I can't ... Okay. So this is you talking to me.

Joe Rogan 24:54 Yeah.

Michael Yo 24:54 'Cause Joe goes, Joe goes, "Hey," I- I go, "Joe, I'm not gonna be able to make it through this whole stunt. I can't hold my breath for that long." And you go, "Oh, just make it look great for the camera." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 25:04 (laughs)

Michael Yo 25:04 So when I get the corner ... (laughs)

Joe Rogan 25:07 (laughs) I was gonna try to talk you into it, but I wasn't good enough at it then. I d- I had to figure out how to talk people into it, 'cause I knew there was some people that would just psyching themselves out.

Michael Yo 25:16 Yeah, in the smoker one-hour episode.

Joe Rogan 25:18 Yeah.

Michael Yo 25:18 The guy that we thought that was gonna lose.

Joe Rogan 25:20 'Cause he had no oxygen-

Michael Yo 25:21 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 25:21 ... in his fucking system. (laughs)

Michael Yo 25:24 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 25:24 He's, he's having no oxygen.

Michael Yo 25:26 Yeah. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 25:26 So-

Michael Yo 25:27 And that's when they casted Fear Factor off of personality.

Joe Rogan 25:30 Mmm.

Michael Yo 25:30 And then it just became a hot fest, like if you were sexy-

Joe Rogan 25:33 There was a lot of it. But it was also, um, you know, they kept ramping up the difficulty of stuff. Like the last season scared the shit out of me. When they were launching a car through a moving train and an explosion happens when the car ... It was like, uh, "What? You're gonna kill somebody." Like ...

Michael Yo 25:49 And, and when I came up to your, uh, I think it was the last season, y'all were doing something with a donkey dong? Donkey cum.

Joe Rogan 25:56 Donkey cum. Yeah.

Michael Yo 25:56 Donkey cum.

Joe Rogan 25:57 That's what got us, that's what got us canceled.

Michael Yo 25:58 Yes, yes.

Joe Rogan 25:59 (laughs)

Michael Yo 25:59 Because I remember showing up and Joe says, "Come here, yo."

Joe Rogan 26:02 (laughs)

Michael Yo 26:02 (laughs) And he goes, "They're about to drink donkey cum." (laughs) I'm like, "What?" (laughs)

Joe Rogan 26:06 It was so cra- I thought everybody was gonna quit.

Michael Yo 26:09 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 26:09 When I showed up that day-

Michael Yo 26:10 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 26:11 ... and they brought the paper into my trailer and they told me what it was gonna be, I don't think I knew about that one before. Some of them I, I'd known about, knew about before, but I don't think I knew about that one.

Michael Yo 26:20 Oh.

Joe Rogan 26:20 I think when they brought that in, I had no idea, and I was like, "You can't do this." I'm like, "No one's gonna do it, first of all. They're all gonna quit."

Michael Yo 26:27 But what was hilarious is I'm sitting there next to you watching them drink this stuff.

Joe Rogan 26:32 Ugh. (laughs)

Michael Yo 26:32 And then we're just laughing (laughs) We're just laughing at this.

Joe Rogan 26:35 But, dude, how about an intern had to drink it? An intern had a drink and I think they only got like $100.

Michael Yo 26:40 What? For what?

Joe Rogan 26:41 Well, there was like ... Part of the thing is that they would have to test it.

Michael Yo 26:44 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 26:45 When, when they would like say, "Here's ..." I'll give you this-

Michael Yo 26:47 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 26:47 ... from Fear Factor info. So like say if you had to eat like, uh, kidneys.

Michael Yo 26:52 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 26:52 Right? How many, how many kidneys can someone eat in a minute?

Michael Yo 26:56 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 26:56 You know, like how much, how much meat can you actually like-

Michael Yo 26:59 Consume.

Joe Rogan 26:59 ... consume. Yeah. Disgusting dried meat can you consume?

Michael Yo 27:02 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 27:03 And th- so what we had was certain interns that would volunteer for it, and they would get like an extra hundred and something dollars. And I would always give them money, too.

Michael Yo 27:11 Okay.

Joe Rogan 27:11 I would always give them a couple hundred bucks on top of it.

Michael Yo 27:13 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 27:13 But they would, they would eat whatever the fuck it was and then they would determine, "All right, well, Mike usually can put it down like,"-

Michael Yo 27:21 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 27:21 ... "like, like no one. And if he can only get through three," and then some other producer would come in and go, "Fuck this. We're being pussies. Make him eat four."

Michael Yo 27:28 (gasps) (laughs)

Joe Rogan 27:29 And I would be like, "Four? You guys are crazy." And this was like the debate. The bate- the debate on the set would be like, "How much blood should they drink?" "One gallon. One gallon of blood." Like, what? They never drank blood, but you know what I'm saying.

Michael Yo 27:40 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 27:41 Like, "How many horse dicks?" They never ate a horse dick, but they did eat like-

Michael Yo 27:44 Well, it was-

Joe Rogan 27:44 ... bull dicks and elk dicks and deer dicks.

Michael Yo 27:46 But the donkey cum was the worst.

Joe Rogan 27:48 Oh, yeah.

Michael Yo 27:49 And I even remember at the shoot you were like, "Yeah, I don't ... I think the show's over after this." Like, they-

Joe Rogan 27:55 Yeah.

Michael Yo 27:55 ... didn't air it. I think they didn't even-

Joe Rogan 27:56 They didn't air it.

Michael Yo 27:56 They aired-

Joe Rogan 27:56 They aired it in other countries, though.

Michael Yo 27:58 Oh, did it really?

Joe Rogan 27:58 Yeah. So you could get it like in, I think it's like Dutch, and so it's like you hear-

Michael Yo 28:04 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 28:04 You hear us talk in English, but then they have Dutch subtitles.

Michael Yo 28:08 Yeah. That, that was-

Joe Rogan 28:09 Yeah.

Michael Yo 28:09 That was such-

Joe Rogan 28:10 So stupid.

Michael Yo 28:11 It's so dumb. Are you surprised how stupid people are to go on and do s-

Joe Rogan 28:15 No. N- uh, no, because I'm p- I think people are like, "Look, it's an experience. I'm here for the experience. I'm gonna have some fun. This is crazy." But when you get to donkey cum, like you're kinda being rude-

Michael Yo 28:24 (laughs) Yeah.

Joe Rogan 28:24 ... to those folks.

Michael Yo 28:25 That, you know, you got donkey this-

Joe Rogan 28:27 Yeah.

Michael Yo 28:27 ... donkey th- but then the donkey cum is like-

Joe Rogan 28:29 You're taking advantage of their need for fame in a weird way.

Michael Yo 28:33 No, you are.

Joe Rogan 28:34 Yeah.

Michael Yo 28:34 But, hey, they wanna give it.

Joe Rogan 28:35 That's, that's the game.

Michael Yo 28:36 And I remember you showing it to me first, and it was in this large, uh, glass container. And they ... And it wasn't a little they had to drink.

Joe Rogan 28:44 No, no, no. It was like-

Michael Yo 28:45 They had to drink a lot.

Joe Rogan 28:46 Yeah. It was like the aforementioned rhino s- horn beer mug.

Michael Yo 28:51 (laughs) Just like, ugh.

Joe Rogan 28:52 It was a fucking large chug of jizz.

Michael Yo 28:54 It was, yeah. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 28:56 You know what's even more offensive? Um, donkeys are ... They're not fertile. Look at it. There it is.

Michael Yo 29:02 Oh, that's it. Yes.

Joe Rogan 29:04 So that cum is useless. It's not just cum, but imagine it's like ... It's, it's cum that can never even be babies.

Michael Yo 29:11 Okay.

Joe Rogan 29:12 It's bullshit.

Michael Yo 29:12 Now, but I- I remember when y'all used to do stu-

Joe Rogan 29:15 (laughs)

Michael Yo 29:15 This is disgusting. I remember y'all used to do stunts. It was actually a delicate ... Uh, like people in other countries actually ate it.

Joe Rogan 29:22 Sometimes.

Michael Yo 29:23 Oh, oh sometimes.

Joe Rogan 29:24 Like balut. Yeah, like balut.

Michael Yo 29:25 So that's not ... That's just being mean.

Joe Rogan 29:27 No, that's just being mean. Yeah.

Michael Yo 29:28 Okay, that's ... No other country is doing that just for fun.

Joe Rogan 29:30 Yeah, they gave up on that whole, uh ... This ... In other countries, this is considered a delicacy.

Michael Yo 29:35 Yeah. (laughs) Yeah.

Joe Rogan 29:35 Yeah, they gave up on that a long time ago. Yeah.

Michael Yo 29:37 Yeah. You had to push the envelope on that now.

Joe Rogan 29:39 One of the things that made things gross smell-wise was actually really expensive cheese. They would go to this, uh, expensive f- What is a f- A fromagerie? What do they call them? What do they call one of those, cheese places? Yeah, that's like Italian for cheese. Froma-

Michael Yo 29:54 Formage.

Joe Rogan 29:54 Fromage?

Michael Yo 29:54 Is that what it is?

Joe Rogan 29:55 Oh, fromagerie. Isn't it French too? Something like that? I'm sure ... Probably, yeah, yeah. (laughs) Jamie's my ... That's my translation of dictionary. (laughs) I, uh ... I'm pr- They both come from L-

Michael Yo 30:04 (laughs) I'm dumb. I'm dumb, so there you go.

Joe Rogan 30:06 But anyway, this cheese that we would use was disgusting. It smelled so bad, but apparently it tastes really good if you're into that kinda cheese.

Michael Yo 30:15 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 30:16 Like, Bourdain was really into stinky cheese. Like he would talk to me about it like with passion, like the- just the l- the fucking stinkier, the better. Like disgusting smelling cheese, and the taste is fantastic. I'd be like, "Wow." I would think that the smell would fuck up your taste buds.

Michael Yo 30:32 Would turn you off. Yeah, absolutely. I-

Joe Rogan 30:33 Pare- I don't know. It's like one of those things where I guess you catch like the right vibe, like you go in it with the right attitude and you-

Michael Yo 30:41 There is no attitude. If it stinks, fuck that, dude. Like I can't eat anything that smells.

Joe Rogan 30:46 So we would take this expensive cheese and they would squeegee it off into a blender.

Michael Yo 30:49 ... nah.

Joe Rogan 30:49 And then they'd blend it up with the other stuff, like worms and shit, it would make the worms taste horrific or smell horrific.

Michael Yo 30:55 Oh, so you were just messing with their, uh, smell sense.

Joe Rogan 30:58 Yes.

Michael Yo 30:58 So it could make it seem like it was worse than it really was.

Joe Rogan 31:01 It was making it worse because it smelled worse, so it was making it more like (retching) -

Michael Yo 31:04 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 31:05 ... so you could smell it, but (retching) -

Michael Yo 31:07 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 31:08 ... people would just start retching. (retches)

Michael Yo 31:09 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 31:11 It was, it's a ridiculous fucking thing. It's a ridiculous thing. Like, to, the show was r- really silly.

Michael Yo 31:18 No, but I, I love that these people wanted to be famous, you know.

Joe Rogan 31:21 Well, you did too, bro. (sighs)

Michael Yo 31:23 But I was-

Joe Rogan 31:24 (laughs)

Michael Yo 31:24 But let me tell you... (laughs)

Joe Rogan 31:25 (laughs)

Michael Yo 31:26 No, no, no, no, no, but I, I was different. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 31:28 Uh-huh, me too, me too.

Michael Yo 31:29 No, no, no.

Joe Rogan 31:29 I was different too.

Michael Yo 31:30 No, because y- how it happened, I was in Austin, Texas, and there was an ad in the paper that goes, "Hey, have you ever done anything adventurous?" And I was like, "No, let me go in for this casting." I was a radio DJ out there, at, um, at this radio station. So I go in, and then Mikey, uh, they called him The Chimp-

Joe Rogan 31:47 (laughs)

Michael Yo 31:47 ... he, he was the casting person.

Joe Rogan 31:49 Yes.

Michael Yo 31:50 And literally, two weeks later, three weeks later, I'm in Hollywood shooting this thing, and then I meet you. And then I remember going up to you 'cause I was in awe. It was the first time in Hollywood. I go, and I knew you from Newsradio, I was like, "H- how do you do it?" And you go, "Just fucking be yourself. You can be successful." And that's what you're doing right now, just fucking being yourself, man.

Joe Rogan 32:06 That's what you're doing too.

Michael Yo 32:07 We're, we're-

Joe Rogan 32:08 You are.

Michael Yo 32:08 ... we're trying.

Joe Rogan 32:09 (laughs)

Michael Yo 32:09 We're trying, man.

Joe Rogan 32:09 You listened. (laughs)

Michael Yo 32:10 Well, yeah, I did listen.

Joe Rogan 32:12 What a ridiculous piece of advice, "Just be yourself."

Michael Yo 32:14 Just... (laughs) No.

Joe Rogan 32:15 Good luck. (laughs)

Michael Yo 32:16 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 32:17 Whatever you do, don't improve.

Michael Yo 32:18 Yeah. (laughs) Just be yourself.

Joe Rogan 32:19 Be who you are right now forever. Good luck.

Michael Yo 32:22 Just be yourself.

Joe Rogan 32:23 That's all you need, bro.

Michael Yo 32:24 That's it, just you.

Joe Rogan 32:25 Don't let anybody tell you wrong, just believe in your dreams.

Michael Yo 32:27 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 32:27 And make a vision board, gotta have a vision board.

Michael Yo 32:29 (laughs) Joe was just trying to get me out of space, "Oh, just be you." All right, bud.

Joe Rogan 32:32 No, it's, it, that is the right advice if, especially if you wanna be an entertainer. If you can figure out how to be yourself, as long as yourself is actually something interesting, and if it's not, work on yourself.

Michael Yo 32:41 Yeah, and then you even said that about acting. It's like, I remember specifically you saying, "Oh, acting's not hard. It's just you, yourself, and you play that emotion." And I was like, "Oh, that sounds easy." You're like, if they can-

Joe Rogan 32:52 It's easy in comparison to standup in some ways, but it's not like a disrespect, like, the kinda shit that, like, Daniel Day, Daniel Day-Lewis does.

Michael Yo 33:01 Oh, Day-Lewis and Leonardo DiCaprio.

Joe Rogan 33:03 Well, yeah, when they, when they get into a fucking role and you're like, "Goddamn, that guy just owned that shit." Like, they get into... What I'm talking about is, like, sitcom acting.

Michael Yo 33:11 Sitcom acting, yeah.

Joe Rogan 33:13 Sitcom acting is-

Michael Yo 33:13 And they were hiring you to be you-

Joe Rogan 33:14 ... so easy.

Michael Yo 33:15 ... at that time.

Joe Rogan 33:16 Oh, 100%.

Michael Yo 33:16 Yeah, so-

Joe Rogan 33:17 It was a, a slightly dumbed down version of me who was into slightly more conspiracy theories than me-

Michael Yo 33:23 (sighs)

Joe Rogan 33:23 ... when I was on Newsradio. That's all it was.

Michael Yo 33:24 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 33:25 It was basically me. Like, they wrote a lot of that conspiracy shit in after I talked to them about, like, JFK and fucking, you know, UFOs and stuff. (laughs)

Michael Yo 33:33 You believe in UFOs?

Joe Rogan 33:34 Oh, yeah.

Michael Yo 33:35 Oh my God.

Joe Rogan 33:35 (clears throat)

Michael Yo 33:36 Really?

Joe Rogan 33:36 Yeah, yeah.

Michael Yo 33:37 And see, I, I believe in there's other, other lifeforms out there-

Joe Rogan 33:40 Yeah, that's what I believe.

Michael Yo 33:41 ... but I don't, I, I don't think they're coming here. And-

Joe Rogan 33:43 They might. Here's the thing, they might. W- Why not think it?

Michael Yo 33:47 But-

Joe Rogan 33:47 Just bec- here's a, here's one thing I do believe. Most people are full of shit-

Michael Yo 33:51 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 33:51 ... when it comes to, like, most of their stories. Like, it's, it's hard to find a person that could just tell you what happened based on what they really remember. People wanna jazz things up and they wanna add salt and pepper.

Michael Yo 34:05 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 34:06 They just-

Michael Yo 34:06 "Had sex with me."

Joe Rogan 34:07 (sighs) They don't-

Michael Yo 34:08 "Did this, did that."

Joe Rogan 34:09 ... they don't, they don't necessarily tell you the truth. They tell you what they think is gonna be an engaging story that kinda represents the truth maybe, especially when it's a weird thing, like you saw something in the sky. What did you really see? How long did you look at it for? How many seconds was it?

Michael Yo 34:26 Well, (sighs) I mean, here's the problem I have with UFOs, and I believe there are UFOs, but I don't think they're coming here. But that means they're-

Joe Rogan 34:34 Why, why would you say that?

Michael Yo 34:34 Because that means they're tech- first of all, if they're coming here, that means their technology is far, way more advanced than ours.

Joe Rogan 34:40 Right.

Michael Yo 34:40 So why would they care if people saw them? They would show up... If I was an alien, and I was that far ahead of us, I would land that bitch right in the middle of Times Square and be like, "What? We are here."

Joe Rogan 34:52 Well, but why, but why would you do that?

Michael Yo 34:53 But why wouldn't I?

Joe Rogan 34:54 Well, for a couple reasons.

Michael Yo 34:55 Why am I hiding in fields where nobody can see us?

Joe Rogan 34:58 Are you aware of how we treat uncontacted tribes?

Michael Yo 35:03 Y- yes.

Joe Rogan 35:04 Yeah.

Michael Yo 35:04 To a point, but-

Joe Rogan 35:05 To a point.

Michael Yo 35:05 But what I'm saying is, if you're that far advanced-

Joe Rogan 35:08 (coughs)

Michael Yo 35:08 ... they know. If they're coming here, they know. They're, they're way smarter than us.

Joe Rogan 35:13 Right.

Michael Yo 35:13 Because they've traveled here-

Joe Rogan 35:14 Right.

Michael Yo 35:15 ... and we don't even know other, from far distances we can't even imagine, and they're here. They don't have to hide. It's just like-

Joe Rogan 35:22 But do you think they do it because they have to hide? Or do you think maybe they do it because we can't handle it? Because we can't handle it.

Michael Yo 35:28 Why would they care if we could handle it or not?

Joe Rogan 35:30 Because here's the problem, whenever any civilization has ever encountered a civilization far superior to them, the results have always been catastrophic every single time. Every time Europeans have invaded North America, every time the Spanish visited the Mexicans, every time that this has happened, it's been a disaster. And this is human beings. If there was something that came down here from another planet and was so unbelievably sophisticated that it could travel through vast distances in space and had insurmountable, impossible technology, the- we would look to it for all of our answers. It would become our new daddy. It would completely disrupt all of our governments. It would disrupt all of our religions. It would disrupt every single belief system we have, and people would fall apart. They wouldn't know what to do. Psychologically, it would be devastating. Look, I'm not a doctor.

Michael Yo 36:24 But, but, but-

Joe Rogan 36:25 I'm not a psych, a psychologist, but I know most people would not be able to handle it.

Michael Yo 36:30 I understand that, but why would they care?

Joe Rogan 36:32 Because it would be-

Michael Yo 36:32 That's my whole point.

Joe Rogan 36:33 Because they would-

Michael Yo 36:33 Why would they care about us?

Joe Rogan 36:34 Because it would be affecting our culture in-

Michael Yo 36:36 But they wouldn't care.

Joe Rogan 36:37 But why wouldn't they care?

Michael Yo 36:38 But why would they care?

Joe Rogan 36:39 We care, we care about animals, bro. There's a reason-

Michael Yo 36:40 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 36:40 ... why we have wildlife protection agencies. We have that because we care about animals and animals don't even know we're a thing. Okay, if you're a deer living in the forest-

Michael Yo 36:48 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 36:48 ... and you're two years old, you might not have ever even seen a person. You don't even know what the fuck we are, but we're trying to keep those deer alive. We spend billions of dollars every year protecting them. We do that because we care about wildlife.If we cared about a rare monkey that we found in Indonesia, in the-

Michael Yo 37:04 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 37:04 ... f- or some strange monkey, we would do whatever we could to make sure that that monkey's populations thrived, if there was a way to help them. I mean, that's one of the reasons why zoos exist. They take rare animals and they try to breed them in captivity and-

Michael Yo 37:16 But we're also sharing the same earth.

Joe Rogan 37:19 Well, then maybe they look at the universe that way. And maybe-

Michael Yo 37:21 Okay, okay.

Joe Rogan 37:22 ... they look at nuclear civilizations, like our civilization... I mean, our civilization's a very dangerous one.

Michael Yo 37:27 Oh.

Joe Rogan 37:27 Because we're, we're a bunch of semi-hairless monkeys with nuclear weapons. I mean, we're fucking nuts, bro.

Michael Yo 37:34 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 37:34 And we're obsessed with sex. We jack off to our phones. We're, we're taking pills to keep our dick hard. We're all on speed. (laughs) I mean... (laughs)

Michael Yo 37:41 (laughs) We all have ADD.

Joe Rogan 37:43 I mean, this, these are, uh, uh, we're a- and we lie. We lie about shit. We, we lie about things that people did to us. We pretend people th- did worse things. We pretend that we didn't do things to people. We lie about stealing. We lie about money. We lie about all kinds of things. I mean, people are-

Michael Yo 37:58 So, so you're thinking-

Joe Rogan 37:59 ... crazy.

Michael Yo 38:00 You're thinking aliens are thinking about all that before they come down?

Joe Rogan 38:04 Of course they would.

Michael Yo 38:05 See, I-

Joe Rogan 38:05 Why wouldn't they?

Michael Yo 38:05 I, uh, because I-

Joe Rogan 38:06 But why wouldn't they?

Michael Yo 38:06 I guess I'm coming from a human point-

Joe Rogan 38:08 (laughs)

Michael Yo 38:08 ... of view where we don't give a shit about anything and-

Joe Rogan 38:10 But here's the thing, that's not true. We do give a shit about things.

Michael Yo 38:13 Mmm.

Joe Rogan 38:13 That's why when you go to the Galapagos Islands, y- you're not allowed to take your shoes-

Michael Yo 38:16 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 38:16 ... that you walked around Los Angeles and walk around the Galapagos Island because people have done that and they've gotten seeds from their shoes, stuck in the sand over th- on the ground over there, and then new plants grow that are invasive species. They, they, we're worried about ecosystems, that we really are.

Michael Yo 38:31 N- okay. No. I-

Joe Rogan 38:31 That's why humans... That's why we're worried about invasive species, when, when new species get introduced to new ecosystems, it's g- like, we were just talking about this yesterday, uh, Everglades. (coughs) Like, people are doing whatever the fuck they can to get the pythons outta the Everglades.

Michael Yo 38:46 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 38:47 They, these assholes have released pythons and there's, uh, a real, uh, fucking redneck Jurassic Park going on in the middle of Florida.

Michael Yo 38:53 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 38:54 You know, we, we care.

Michael Yo 38:55 Yeah. I lived in Miami, man, and at the time, I lived in Miami, talk about like-

Joe Rogan 38:58 You did radio out there, right?

Michael Yo 38:59 Yeah, uh, uh, Y100 in Miami.

Joe Rogan 39:01 That was after Fear Factor.

Michael Yo 39:02 After Fear Factor.

Joe Rogan 39:03 After Factor.

Michael Yo 39:03 It landed me that big gig after I was (laughs) after I was on Fear Factor.

Joe Rogan 39:07 Well, radio was radio back then, though.

Michael Yo 39:08 Dude. Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 39:09 It was real.

Michael Yo 39:09 It was, it was, like, huge, man. Uh, but I remember they had these lakes and if you go back, like, 10 years ago and look up Florida, people were just jogging around lakes getting snatched by alligators.

Joe Rogan 39:22 Yeah.

Michael Yo 39:22 Like, just alligators did not give a damn.

Joe Rogan 39:24 They'll get you.

Michael Yo 39:24 They were just snatching people.

Joe Rogan 39:26 Yeah.

Michael Yo 39:26 And I was like, "Why are people jogging?" Like... (laughs)

Joe Rogan 39:31 (laughs)

Michael Yo 39:31 Like, literally I was like, "Stop jogging."

Joe Rogan 39:33 Well, definitely don't jog near the water.

Michael Yo 39:35 No. And that's the thing. Look, I believe, like, eight people within six months got snatched just jogging by some of the-

Joe Rogan 39:42 Is that real?

Michael Yo 39:43 Oh, 100%. Probably about eight to 10 years ago, just jogging.

Joe Rogan 39:47 I didn't know that, that there was that many deaths ever from alligators.

Michael Yo 39:50 Oh, yeah. They were getting snatched.

Joe Rogan 39:52 One of my favorite ones was a guy who was running from the cops near Miami and, uh, he was in a stolen car, parked his car on a bridge, jumped off the bridge and landed on an alligator.

Michael Yo 40:04 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 40:05 Alligator jacked him in front of the cops.

Michael Yo 40:08 Ugh.

Joe Rogan 40:08 And they were just sitting there going, "Well-"

Michael Yo 40:09 Well.

Joe Rogan 40:10 "... there you go." (laughs)

Michael Yo 40:12 Guilty. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 40:13 Can you imagine? The dude jumps off the bridge, splash, gah. That would be the-

Michael Yo 40:18 Look at this. Look at... Oh, my God.

Joe Rogan 40:21 Dude.

Michael Yo 40:21 Oh, that guy didn't even notice until the last minute.

Joe Rogan 40:24 No. No, that's what I'm saying. Like, that happens in Florida at that time? That is so crazy. That is such a big thing that eats deer and shit. Look at it. Opens its mouth on him. But meanwhile, it tries to get away from people.

Michael Yo 40:35 Well, what's interesting, the dude didn't even speed up.

Joe Rogan 40:38 Yeah. He was probably really tired.

Michael Yo 40:39 Like, I would've took off.

Joe Rogan 40:40 Probably really tired.

Michael Yo 40:41 (laughs) Yeah. He was-

Joe Rogan 40:42 He'd been running for a while.

Michael Yo 40:44 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 40:44 Dude, fuck these things, man. Fuck these things. But, but the craziest thing is when we were showing it yesterday that pythons eat them.

Michael Yo 40:52 Alligators?

Joe Rogan 40:52 Whole.

Michael Yo 40:53 But not that size though.

Joe Rogan 40:53 We showed a video. Dude, one python ate this fucking big ass alligator and it buil- it blew its body apart. Apparently another alligator came along while it had it in its body and tried to eat the python. And so then it was like this disaster of a, a python with an alligator inside of it with no head.

Michael Yo 41:10 Oh, man.

Joe Rogan 41:11 Yeah, but, but the whole thing was that this python had ate the alligator and then once they eat it, they can't move 'cause they got a fucking 900 pound alligator inside of them.

Michael Yo 41:17 But you, but you love that shit.

Joe Rogan 41:18 I get a kick out of it.

Michael Yo 41:19 I, I know you do. You do.

Joe Rogan 41:21 I do.

Michael Yo 41:21 You do.

Joe Rogan 41:21 I got a problem with them. I just, I, I do think it's important-

Michael Yo 41:23 You love animals eating other animals. Like-

Joe Rogan 41:25 I think it's important to recognize that we're, we're, we're very insulated from what the fuck is going on by cities.

Michael Yo 41:32 Yes.

Joe Rogan 41:32 And that in houses, in cities, and even towns, even if you have a town, it's rare that a fucking wild predator makes its way into your town.

Michael Yo 41:38 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 41:38 But, man, that's the whole rest of the world. That's the whole world, including the ocean. Everywhere is all just predators and prey, predators and prey, predators and prey. We figured out a way to insul- but, but in insulation the problem is when we're isolated from it, we neglect it as an aspect of nature. We, we put it in some weird box. Like, "Oh my God, this is weird." No, that's not weird. That's normal.

Michael Yo 41:59 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 41:59 That's normal life. Normal life is big things eating littler things.

Michael Yo 42:03 And you don't respect it.

Joe Rogan 42:04 Got it.

Michael Yo 42:04 You really don't respect it when you don't see it. Like my-

Joe Rogan 42:07 Yeah.

Michael Yo 42:07 ... my parents want to go to Africa on a safari. I'm like, "Man-"

Joe Rogan 42:10 Whoo.

Michael Yo 42:10 "... you can have that."

Joe Rogan 42:11 Yeah, I would go if I got one of them, like, Jurassic Park mobiles that they have with it's all a circle.

Michael Yo 42:17 Oh, is it... (laughs) Where you (imitates car noise) roll around the circle-

Joe Rogan 42:19 But do you see, do you see-

Michael Yo 42:19 ... you can't get in it? Do you see these people are just in regular Jeeps-

Joe Rogan 42:22 Oh. Open air Jeeps.

Michael Yo 42:22 ... with a l- open air Jeeps where a lion's just walking by.

Joe Rogan 42:25 Oh.

Michael Yo 42:25 I was like, "How dumb are you?"

Joe Rogan 42:27 And most of the time, nothing happens.

Michael Yo 42:29 No. Most, most of the, but-

Joe Rogan 42:30 Most of the time.

Michael Yo 42:31 But it could be one or two times where if you're in it, you know, like I-

Joe Rogan 42:34 Well, two years ago, a woman who worked on Game of Thrones, she was there on vacation and she got pulled out of her fucking car.

Michael Yo 42:39 That's right.

Joe Rogan 42:39 She rolled down the window to take a picture and the cat came and snatched her outta the car.

Michael Yo 42:44 But don't you think people kinda like that deserve it? Like, people that roll down windows and not safer, like, that's like people jumping in the pit at the zoo the other day-

Joe Rogan 42:52 Well, that's different.

Michael Yo 42:52 ... to take a selfie. To-

Joe Rogan 42:53 The roll down the windows thing I think is really just-... it's what we're talking about, that you're not around it enough.

Michael Yo 42:59 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 43:00 So, you don't understand what it is.

Michael Yo 43:01 But do you have to be around it to know, hey, these are wild animals and-

Joe Rogan 43:04 But they, they can get away with shit that if they've never-

Michael Yo 43:06 (sighs)

Joe Rogan 43:06 ... had anything happen to them, like if they've never been punched... Oh, this is a-

Michael Yo 43:10 Look at this.

Joe Rogan 43:10 This is a cheetah. Cheetahs are actually not... They're, they're actually very curious, and they're not dangerous to people for whatever reason.

Michael Yo 43:16 So, this dude has no idea this thing is in his backseat?

Joe Rogan 43:18 No, he's filming it.

Narrator 43:19 Yeah, they're not.

Michael Yo 43:19 Oh.

Joe Rogan 43:20 He's filming it.

Michael Yo 43:21 So-

Joe Rogan 43:21 That's why he's not moving. That cheetah just hopped in.

Michael Yo 43:22 Is the rule don't move?

Joe Rogan 43:24 I think so, man. I think the move is don't move.

Michael Yo 43:27 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 43:28 You don't, you don't wanna scare him. You definitely don't wanna go, "Hey, motherfucker!"

Michael Yo 43:31 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 43:32 You don't wanna do that.

Michael Yo 43:33 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 43:33 Have a fucking rip your face off.

Michael Yo 43:35 Yeah. Oh, no.

Joe Rogan 43:35 They don't have claws. They don't have claws like a cat does. They're more like a dog.

Michael Yo 43:39 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 43:40 You know, they're a weird animal. They're like a weird cat-dog thing, you know? They're super, super fast. Like, I've never seen one run in real life, but apparently people who I know that have seen it say you can't believe how fast it is.

Michael Yo 43:53 You, you know one thing that blew me away, I was reading about it, that hippopotamuses kill more people a year than all the animals combined.

Joe Rogan 44:00 All of 'em.

Michael Yo 44:01 All of 'em.

Joe Rogan 44:01 Yeah, all of 'em.

Michael Yo 44:02 And it's just, like, people just, like, don't respect hippopotamuses.

Joe Rogan 44:05 (laughs)

Michael Yo 44:05 And they're fast and they're strong, and they'll rip you apart.

Joe Rogan 44:10 They're, they're like a giant pig.

Michael Yo 44:11 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 44:12 They're in the pig family.

Michael Yo 44:13 It's-

Joe Rogan 44:13 Like, a cousin to a pig or some shit.

Michael Yo 44:15 Yeah. And they're vegetarians.

Joe Rogan 44:16 Yeah.

Michael Yo 44:17 Like, they're just killing people.

Joe Rogan 44:18 Estimated 500 people per year in Africa.

Michael Yo 44:21 Look at that. (laughs) They kill 500 people-

Joe Rogan 44:22 500 people a year.

Michael Yo 44:23 (gasps)

Joe Rogan 44:24 They're aggressive, and they have very sharp teeth. And n- not only that, man. They're 2,750 kilograms.

Michael Yo 44:29 People think there's... (gasps)

Joe Rogan 44:30 What? What is that?

Michael Yo 44:31 Dude, people-

Joe Rogan 44:32 What's that in pounds? That's more than 5,000 pounds.

Narrator 44:35 Yeah, 2.2 times that, so yeah.

Michael Yo 44:37 Oh, my God.

Joe Rogan 44:38 That's, that's-

Narrator 44:38 Five and a half, five and a half.

Michael Yo 44:39 Well, people don't respect, 'cause they think they're slow, too.

Joe Rogan 44:41 Wow.

Michael Yo 44:41 So, when they see 'em... I think they run, like, 24 or 25 miles per hour, where, like, a, 100, a person that runs a 100-yard dash in the Olympics I think average around, like, 29 to 30 miles per hour.

Joe Rogan 44:52 (laughs) Ooh.

Michael Yo 44:52 So, you're literally-

Joe Rogan 44:52 So, you're barely getting away.

Michael Yo 44:53 ... this hippo's r- oh, 19 mile-

Joe Rogan 44:55 19.

Michael Yo 44:55 Okay, so that's still fast.

Joe Rogan 44:56 Yeah, you're barely getting away. Well, that's me. I probably can't run 19 miles an hour.

Michael Yo 45:00 Sh- no, I couldn't.

Joe Rogan 45:01 I'll probably get eaten.

Michael Yo 45:02 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 45:03 Fuck.

Michael Yo 45:03 Can you imagine? You're, like, 20 yards away from this thing, and you're like, "Ah, it's not gonna b-" and then it just runs up on you.

Joe Rogan 45:09 Well, they say if you ever get chased by an alligator, too, the thing is to juke 'em. Go left and go right.

Michael Yo 45:14 Look at... (laughs) Oh, my God.

Joe Rogan 45:15 Yeah, the, the, the picture's terrifying, man.

Michael Yo 45:17 Oh, my God.

Joe Rogan 45:17 That one scares the shit out of me. That scares the shit out of me. I mean, look at that guy's... He's airborne.

Michael Yo 45:24 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 45:24 He's, he's launching himself in the air, trying to get away from that thing.

Michael Yo 45:28 Dude, these things do not... Look at that.

Joe Rogan 45:29 Yeah, they chase after boats in the water. They swim fast. Yeah, they try to fuck you up-

Michael Yo 45:34 Uh-uh.

Joe Rogan 45:34 ... man. They'll try to fuck you up.

Michael Yo 45:35 500 people a year, dude. Hippos.

Joe Rogan 45:37 "Husband sees hippo bite out wife's heart."

Michael Yo 45:40 What?

Joe Rogan 45:41 Oh, my God.

Narrator 45:42 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 45:43 Oh, my God. Imagine your wife falls into the water and that you see the hippo rip open her ribcage.

Michael Yo 45:49 Ugh.

Joe Rogan 45:49 Oh, I would be a hippo punisher.

Michael Yo 45:52 Ugh.

Joe Rogan 45:52 I would go back to Africa every year-

Michael Yo 45:54 And kill e- every one of 'em.

Joe Rogan 45:56 ... I'd, I'd kill every one of 'em. I'd be responsible for hippo extinction.

Michael Yo 45:58 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 45:58 They'd be like, "You can't do that," I'd be like, "But I'm gonna."

Michael Yo 46:01 that... (sighs) Man-

Joe Rogan 46:02 Come stop me.

Michael Yo 46:03 ... don't-

Joe Rogan 46:04 I'm killing all the hippos.

Michael Yo 46:05 Why not?

Joe Rogan 46:06 I'm killing all the snakes for... If, if everybody and anyone knew got killed w- the first day that something gets killed by a fucking python in Florida, when a human gets jacked, we should send in the Marines. Just go-

Michael Yo 46:17 Just take-

Joe Rogan 46:17 ... through the fucking swamp and kill them all. Just, like, they're the enemy. You just get a giant line of human beings, go through and kill those fucking serpents. They're in the Bible, okay?

Michael Yo 46:29 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 46:29 They're in the Bible. Snakes will eat your baby.

Michael Yo 46:32 They will. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 46:33 You go through, you kill them all.

Michael Yo 46:36 Very pa- I mean, are there, is it-

Joe Rogan 46:37 Don't get cocky with monsters living in your fucking neighborhood.

Michael Yo 46:40 Is there any purpose of them, though?

Joe Rogan 46:42 Yeah, they kill rats, but the problem is in that area it's not established for them, so there was this rich ecosystem of mammals and reptiles.

Michael Yo 46:50 So, you're talking about Everglades right now?

Joe Rogan 46:51 Yeah.

Michael Yo 46:51 Okay.

Joe Rogan 46:52 It used to be there were some snakes-

Michael Yo 46:54 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 46:54 ... like cottonmouths-

Michael Yo 46:55 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 46:55 ... and stuff like that, and there was alligators, but then there was, like, marsh hares and raccoons and skunks. Gone! They're all gone! There's, they're gone. There's nothing left. There's just anacondas-

Michael Yo 47:07 Look at that.

Joe Rogan 47:08 ... and pythons and Nile crocodiles.

Michael Yo 47:10 (sighs) Now, if this-

Joe Rogan 47:11 Look at that. There's another one eating a fucking-

Michael Yo 47:13 Well, let me ask you something.

Joe Rogan 47:14 ... eating an alligator.

Michael Yo 47:14 And be honest with me. If, if that guy got eaten, like, a guy that actually tracks-

Joe Rogan 47:19 Yeah.

Michael Yo 47:19 ... these reptiles, do you feel sorry for him? Like, if you putting yourself in harm's way.

Joe Rogan 47:23 Yeah, because I want that guy to be out there.

Michael Yo 47:26 (laughs) You want him killing-

Joe Rogan 47:26 I want that guy to kill those goddamn monsters.

Michael Yo 47:28 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 47:28 If you ever look into an eye of a snake and you go, "Oh, this thing doesn't give a fuck about anybody." It's like-

Michael Yo 47:33 How- it doesn't.

Joe Rogan 47:34 I was watching this video of a crab, and it's a crab, a mother crab, just sitting there eating its babies. It had, like-

Michael Yo 47:41 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 47:41 ... thousands of babies all around it that had just hatched, like, a couple weeks ago, and it's just sitting there eating its babies. And I'm like, "Yeah, yeah, fuck you."

Michael Yo 47:49 Yeah. No, y-

Joe Rogan 47:49 "Fuck you. You're going in the boiling water, and I'm gonna crack you open."

Michael Yo 47:53 Have y-

Joe Rogan 47:53 I love crab.

Michael Yo 47:53 Have you ever heard 'em scream when they go in the boiling-

Joe Rogan 47:55 Crabs scream?

Michael Yo 47:56 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 47:57 I don't think they're really screaming. I think it's probably w- air escaping their body. Look at this cunt eating her kids.

Michael Yo 48:01 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 48:02 Look at her. She's just eating her kids. This is crazy.

Michael Yo 48:05 I was, I was at a friend's house, and they'd caught crabs, and they would throw 'em in, and I think they scream, man. I think it's like... No, I've heard-

Joe Rogan 48:12 (laughs) I don't think they have vocal cords.

Michael Yo 48:13 No, no, I- they make a sound when-

Joe Rogan 48:15 This is a... What is this, what is the name of this video, Jamie, for people that are just listening? It says, uh, "Monster Red Crab Eats Babies, The Dark Side of Nature." Yeah. She's an asshole.

Michael Yo 48:22 I'm telling you, Joe. They, they scream.

Joe Rogan 48:24 Do you think they really make noise?

Michael Yo 48:24 They make a noise. When you put 'em in a hot, boiling pot of water.

Joe Rogan 48:28 What is the bottom of her? She's got a charcoal briquette stuck under her. Doesn't that look like one of them-

Michael Yo 48:33 That's where the babies go there.

Joe Rogan 48:34 ... easy like-

Narrator 48:34 Maybe that's where they all came from.

Michael Yo 48:36 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 48:36 (laughs) They came, they came from that sac?

Michael Yo 48:37 She eats 'em, and they come right back out.

Joe Rogan 48:38 That is so gross. She's such an asshole. She just sitting there eating her kids. You know, like, that anybody would give a fuck about crabs.

Michael Yo 48:46 Ugh.

Joe Rogan 48:46 You know? I mean, it's not-

Michael Yo 48:47 My-

Joe Rogan 48:47 ... like I want 'em to go extinct, but I, that's one animal that we, in our house, kill ourselves and no one has a problem with it.

Michael Yo 48:56 It's-

Joe Rogan 48:56 Like, if they brought home a rabbit and you th- you gotta throw it in the water, like Fatal Attraction.

Michael Yo 49:00 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 49:00 I feel like that was the only way to keep r- nobody would eat rabbits.

Michael Yo 49:02 No, no, no, no. And we throw 'em in, like...... alive.

Joe Rogan 49:05 Alive?

Michael Yo 49:06 Alive.

Joe Rogan 49:06 Like moving like easy, haha.

Michael Yo 49:08 (laughs) I'm telling you, they're in the water like, "Ah!"

Joe Rogan 49:10 Yeah. Most of the time pe- most people don't even bother taking off the rubber band.

Michael Yo 49:12 And lobsters.

Joe Rogan 49:13 Yeah.

Michael Yo 49:13 And lobsters.

Joe Rogan 49:14 Yeah.

Michael Yo 49:14 We do not give a shit about lobsters.

Joe Rogan 49:16 Fuck you. Get in there.

Michael Yo 49:17 We don't give a... (laughs)

Joe Rogan 49:17 Fuck you. Get in there. Get in there, you fucking bug. You sea bug.

Michael Yo 49:23 (laughs) What's crazy is, uh, the wh- this whole animal kingdom thing, but one thing that scares me that you were doing when I walked in is playing these fucking shooter games.

Joe Rogan 49:32 Dude, that game is a real problem. Jamie and I have been going to war for the last, what, two months?

Narrator 49:39 Yeah, about. Sure. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 49:40 When'd this start? Like, two months ago?

Michael Yo 49:41 Uh, yeah. Maybe like that. It sounds like-

Joe Rogan 49:43 I'm in full-blown addiction mode now.

Narrator 49:45 (clears throat)

Michael Yo 49:45 But what is the thr- like, I, I-

Joe Rogan 49:47 What's the thrill?

Michael Yo 49:48 Yes.

Joe Rogan 49:49 Do you see us? We're all sweaty and adrenaline charged.

Michael Yo 49:51 Yeah. No, I walked in-

Joe Rogan 49:51 We're having a great ass time.

Michael Yo 49:53 I, uh, I walked in, it looks like I just finished working out. It was, like, crazy.

Joe Rogan 49:55 Jamie and I were going to war. We go to war. We talk a lotta shit, too. We go to war. (laughs)

Michael Yo 49:59 Oh, man. (laughs) I try to, I try... (laughs) Can we talk about it?

Joe Rogan 50:03 It's fun. It's fun. When he kills me, he talks shit to me. It's rough. You're like, "Goddamn it, he got me. Fuckers."

Michael Yo 50:09 Is that a game where people can go online and play with you two?

Joe Rogan 50:12 No, we don't play with other people.

Michael Yo 50:13 Oh, okay. (laughs) Okay.

Joe Rogan 50:14 No, we jump online. This is the game though.

Michael Yo 50:15 This is it.

Joe Rogan 50:16 This is the game. Yeah, dude, it is a fun ass fucking game. It's, it's called Quake Champions.

Michael Yo 50:20 Okay.

Joe Rogan 50:21 And pe- people right now listening going, "Goddamn it, he's talking about that again?"

Michael Yo 50:24 About Quake again?

Joe Rogan 50:25 But me and Jamie have been, um, and, and Jeff, our other employee, have been playing this fucking constantly.

Michael Yo 50:30 See, okay. See, this isn't bad because they're like characters.

Joe Rogan 50:34 Yeah.

Michael Yo 50:34 Like I was playing one where it's like human beings.

Joe Rogan 50:37 Oh, yeah.

Michael Yo 50:37 Like, and when you shoot somebody, like, I got scared. When, when you get scared to go into the next room because you're really that nervous, like, it's, freaks me out. These shooter games are too realistic.

Joe Rogan 50:47 Yeah.

Michael Yo 50:47 I grew up with Frogger, dude.

Joe Rogan 50:49 This is like, you're always in, like, some sort of a castle.

Michael Yo 50:52 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 50:52 And the, the people that you're shooting against, they don't look anything like a person.

Michael Yo 50:56 Okay.

Joe Rogan 50:56 They look some weird cartoon character, but the graphics are se- sensational. But more importantly, like, the gameplay is very precise and, um, you, you have to have, like, real hand-eye coordination and skills. Like, you learn things like tactics. You learn how to move around maps. You learn how to control resources. Controlling resources is giant. Like that thing that guy just picked up-

Michael Yo 51:18 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 51:18 ... that's like 175 health. And you wanna get all the armor that you possibly can. Then you also wanna be, like, clever about weapons choices 'cause you're always engaging at different distances and different kinds of fights. Like, sometimes you're stuck in, like, a corridor, and sometimes, you know, you're, you're in an area where y- they can't shoot you, but you can shoot them if you use the right weapon.

Michael Yo 51:39 Man, you need to bring it back to old school. Atari, that one red button-

Joe Rogan 51:43 What the fuck are you talking about?

Michael Yo 51:43 ... that ranju- oh.

Joe Rogan 51:45 What are you talking about?

Michael Yo 51:45 Tha- uh, tha- that one red button did everything on the joystick.

Joe Rogan 51:47 No, you never killed a guy with a rail gun.

Narrator 51:49 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 51:50 Once you kill a guy with a rail gun, you'll understand.

Michael Yo 51:52 Wha- (sighs) I don't wanna kill a guy with a rail gun.

Joe Rogan 51:54 But it's not a real person. I mean, you, you, he's laughing-

Michael Yo 51:56 No, I-

Joe Rogan 51:56 ... while you do it.

Michael Yo 51:57 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 51:57 When I shoot Jamie, if he jumps at me and I shoot him in midair with a rail gun-

Narrator 52:02 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 52:02 ... we'd both laugh. Like, he shot me in the face the other day with a rocket and I was like, "Oh."

Michael Yo 52:07 It was hilarious.

Joe Rogan 52:07 "Dude, in the mug."

Narrator 52:08 (laughs)

Michael Yo 52:09 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 52:09 I was like, "In the mug." It was, like, right in my face and I exploded. Like, my whole screen just becomes-

Michael Yo 52:13 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 52:13 ... a big red splatter. I'm like, "Fuck." It's fun.

Michael Yo 52:16 I, I can't handle it, man. It's too much for me. I'm a wo- the older I get, I'm just a puss, man. I need to man up. I used to be so aggressive.

Joe Rogan 52:24 Well, you're a big dude. You're strong.

Michael Yo 52:25 That's why nobody messes with me.

Joe Rogan 52:26 Oh, so they leave you alone so you become a pussy-

Michael Yo 52:28 Yeah, and that's how-

Joe Rogan 52:28 ... because of it.

Michael Yo 52:29 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 52:29 You know what it's like? It's like, um-

Michael Yo 52:31 Like, y- like, you, you, like, fight and all that stuff. Like, I can't even... Like, if somebody punched me in the face today, I don't know how I would react. Like, I don't know. I used to be a bouncer at clubs. I played college football. Like, I was a tough dude. Now after-

Joe Rogan 52:45 You're falling apart.

Michael Yo 52:46 I... Dude.

Joe Rogan 52:47 Gotta get you to a gym.

Michael Yo 52:48 No, no, no. I'm in shape, but-

Joe Rogan 52:50 I mean, like, a fight gym.

Michael Yo 52:51 No, no. Why? No.

Joe Rogan 52:52 Learn how to fight a little bit.

Michael Yo 52:53 No.

Joe Rogan 52:54 Not to fight people.

Michael Yo 52:55 Well, why do you-

Joe Rogan 52:56 So you don't worry about it.

Michael Yo 52:57 I d- I never worry about it.

Joe Rogan 52:59 Okay. Well, then don't worry about it.

Michael Yo 53:00 'Cause I'm at home by 8:30. (laughs)

Narrator 53:02 (laughs)

Michael Yo 53:02 I'm sleeping by nine.

Joe Rogan 53:03 When were the last time you do standup?

Michael Yo 53:04 I know. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 53:04 I saw you at the Improv the other night.

Michael Yo 53:06 I didn't... Nobody's gonna jump on stage. I'm talking about family-

Joe Rogan 53:08 You never know, man. You never know. People are crazy. They say anyone...

Michael Yo 53:10 Has anyone-

Joe Rogan 53:11 That, that dude who jumped up on, uh, the WWF and, uh, attacked-

Michael Yo 53:15 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 53:15 ... uh... Who did he attack?

Narrator 53:15 Bret Hart.

Joe Rogan 53:16 He attacked Bret Hart?

Narrator 53:17 Yeah, during his, like, speech or something.

Michael Yo 53:18 That's crazy. Yeah, but-

Joe Rogan 53:19 Bret Hart has gotta be... Like, how old is he now?

Narrator 53:21 61 and he's a stroke survivor.

Joe Rogan 53:22 That's-

Michael Yo 53:22 So fucked up.

Narrator 53:23 Yeah.

Michael Yo 53:23 And the guy tackled him.

Narrator 53:24 Yeah.

Michael Yo 53:24 Jesus Christ.

Joe Rogan 53:25 But...

Michael Yo 53:25 But, Joe, seriously, you think anybody's gonna jump on stage when you're on?

Joe Rogan 53:28 Some dude could easily.

Michael Yo 53:30 Good. You would fucking kill him.

Joe Rogan 53:31 No, there's, there's a lot of people that can kill me. Y- don't get c- confused.

Michael Yo 53:35 (laughs) No, I'm just saying-

Joe Rogan 53:35 (laughs) I know a lot of them.

Michael Yo 53:37 (laughs)

Narrator 53:37 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 53:37 Dude, I have them in here all the time.

Michael Yo 53:38 Yeah, I get that, but, like, I, (smacks lips) I, I, I just don't see me doing standup talking about family and love and a dude goes, "I hate family and love. I'm gonna jump up there."

Joe Rogan 53:47 No. It's-

Michael Yo 53:47 I don't-

Joe Rogan 53:47 ... that... It's not rational. No, you're right.

Michael Yo 53:49 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 53:49 I mean, a, a rational person wouldn't do that, but you're not worried about rational people anyway.

Michael Yo 53:53 Okay. So, so say I started to go to a fight gym. Like, where would I start at?

Joe Rogan 53:58 Um-

Michael Yo 53:58 Like, what would I do?

Joe Rogan 53:59 I would say you should try jujitsu 'cause it's fun, it's really good exercise, and you'll learn some stuff.

Michael Yo 54:04 Okay.

Joe Rogan 54:05 Like, you'll learn how to do it. It's, it's a technique-based art. Whereas, like, say if, um, (clicks tongue) if you... Like, there's, there's guys that I will, uh, do jujitsu sparring we call rolling.

Michael Yo 54:15 Okay.

Joe Rogan 54:16 There's guys that I will roll with that are weaker than me, smaller than me, and tap me every time I roll with them. And I'm a black belt.

Michael Yo 54:22 Okay.

Joe Rogan 54:22 Like, that's reality. Like, if there's, there's guys out there that are 150 pounds that I can roll with that I know will tap me virtually every time we roll because their technique is sharper, they train more often than I am, they're more focused, they're more in the groove.

Michael Yo 54:35 But I also heard you say, like, on one of your podcasts you gotta watch out who you train with because they might just try to hurt you.

Joe Rogan 54:41 That's true.

Michael Yo 54:41 So I need, I need-

Joe Rogan 54:42 You gotta go to a good school with good ethics-

Michael Yo 54:44 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 54:44 ... 'cause a g- a good school with good ethics, they get rid of those guys. They toss-

Michael Yo 54:47 Do you know, do you know one in Studio City? I'll do it.

Joe Rogan 54:49 Sure, I'll get you a spot.

Michael Yo 54:49 Yeah. No, I-

Joe Rogan 54:50 We'll find a spot.

Michael Yo 54:50 I'll do it. I wanna learn-

Joe Rogan 54:52 Well, there's a good spot just a little further than that in Tarzana.

Michael Yo 54:55 Okay.

Joe Rogan 54:55 M- Machado's where I got my black belt.

Michael Yo 54:57 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 54:57 It's, uh, Jean Jacques Machado. I train there sometimes. And, um, he used to have a place in Malibu, but, uh, it closed down because of the fires. Um, but they, um, they have an outstanding gym. It's, like, one of the best in the country and it's in that area. Like, as far as teaching-

Michael Yo 55:11 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 55:11 ... top notch. Like, but there's a lot of really good-... jujitsu schools now. It's not like, um ... Like, when I started in '96, it was hard to find a good gym. There was only, like, five of 'em in all of California, right?

Michael Yo 55:25 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 55:26 'Cause it was just starting out. It was, like, '93 is when jujitsu sort of emerged in the public consciousness because of the UFC. And then they were ... The gyms started, like, popping up.

Michael Yo 55:34 Popping up.

Joe Rogan 55:34 But I was really lucky. There was, like, Hicks and Gracies, which is where I took my first class, and then, uh, Carlson Gracies. I thought they were, like, the same and the other one was closer, so I just switched to Carlson's.

Michael Yo 55:43 Hmm.

Joe Rogan 55:43 I didn't know shit. You know, I was a white belt. But ... And then there was Machados and then, like, a couple other places. But now they're everywhere.

Michael Yo 55:49 How long does take you to get to a black belt? Like, for you? Um-

Joe Rogan 55:52 Some guy ... It took me a long time. I was a brown belt for eight years. But it was just because I wasn't training as much as I should've. Like, they ... You don't... They don't give them away. Like, you have to be a real black belt, which means-

Michael Yo 56:03 But who, who decides? What is ... Somebody just watches you?

Joe Rogan 56:05 Instructors. Yeah.

Michael Yo 56:06 And you do-

Joe Rogan 56:06 People know.

Michael Yo 56:07 Okay.

Joe Rogan 56:07 People ... Everyone knows. It's like, like, you know when a guy is fucking killing? Like, like, he'll ... Let's take, like, Theo Vaughn for example.

Michael Yo 56:14 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 56:15 Like, Th- Theo-

Michael Yo 56:16 Love him.

Joe Rogan 56:16 I love him. He hit a groove some time ago, whether it's two years ago or whatever it was, and I remember being in the back of the store and I was like, "Dude, this motherfucker is on fire."

Michael Yo 56:26 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 56:27 He started hitting that groove that ... Where, where you go and sit down, you wanna watch his set.

Michael Yo 56:32 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 56:32 You know? And I think when that happens in jujitsu, it's the same kinda thing. Guys start talking about like, "Dude, Mike has been tapping everybody."

Michael Yo 56:40 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 56:40 "Dude, he's just gr- ... His j- his jujitsu is so sharp." And you're like, "Man, I wanna watch him roll." And then you watch him roll and you're like, "Dude, that pass, that guard pass." And then guys will start asking like, "Wait, how m- how often are you training?" "Oh, I'm going five days a week now." "Really?" "Yeah, and I'm taking two privates. Fuck."

Michael Yo 56:53 Ah.

Joe Rogan 56:53 Like, and then you know, like, this guy is on the quest. And you'll see a guy go from white belt to black belt in three years, but they have to be ex- super exceptional. Like, really unusual athletes. Unusual mindset, unusual discipline. It can happen. Most of the time, like, a, a garden variety estimate is, like, 10 years is realistic-

Michael Yo 57:15 Okay.

Joe Rogan 57:15 ... from white belt to black belt for a regular person if you really train hard and you really dedicate yourself. But freaks can get there quicker. Like, BJ Penn, he won the Mundials, which is the World Championships, after three years of training. Three years-

Michael Yo 57:27 S-

Joe Rogan 57:27 ... of training, he was a black belt, won the World Championships.

Michael Yo 57:29 I won't be doing that.

Joe Rogan 57:30 BJ's a special guy, though. And he's also-

Michael Yo 57:33 I just-

Joe Rogan 57:33 ... got legs that are like arms. He m- he has leg dexterity like no one on the planet. It's ridiculous.

Michael Yo 57:37 Yeah, I got chicken legs. I, uh-

Joe Rogan 57:39 That's actually good.

Michael Yo 57:40 Is it really?

Joe Rogan 57:41 Yeah. You could cinch up triangles on people with chicken legs.

Michael Yo 57:45 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 57:45 Yeah, for real. And Darce's-

Michael Yo 57:47 I'll be cinching up people everywhere then.

Joe Rogan 57:49 If you just l- think about it in terms of leverage, guys with longer limbs like, uh, Roger Gracie is a perfect example. He's a really tall, long guy. He's one of the best jujitsu players ever. They can do things with those limbs that a shorter person can't do in terms of, like, leverage from joints and stuff like ... There's like ... There's, see, advantages to every frame. Like, there's a guy like Husamme Pajero is a famous, like, tank of a guy-

Michael Yo 58:14 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 58:14 He's like 5'7", 200-plus pounds, and just rips guys' legs apart. And he uses this, like, short style to dive in on people's legs and get them in heel hooks and knee-

Michael Yo 58:25 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 58:25 ... bars and rip their legs apart. He's terrifying.

Michael Yo 58:27 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 58:28 And that, that style heavily favors being built like a, like a little tank. Whereas, like, that long, like you are, you're a tall, long guy, you would have, like, g- good Darce chokes, good rear nakeds, good, uh, good armbars, good triangles. You would have length and leverage with that length, especially with triangles 'cause long-legged guys, they can s- ... Like, sometimes a guy like me with short legs, like, I'll, I'll get my legs crossed-

Michael Yo 58:54 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 58:54 ... and I have to adjust a lot to be able to cinch up by triangle. Whereas you might be able to just close it up right there. So you'll have, like, more opportunities for triangles because of the length of your limbs.

Michael Yo 59:05 Have you ... Would you have ever been at a point in your, in your career when you were doing jujitsu where you ... How would you have been in the UFC?

Joe Rogan 59:15 Like-

Michael Yo 59:15 Like, at your prime, like-

Joe Rogan 59:16 I have no idea. I have no idea. I would have had to have gotten way better. Like, when I was fighting, I was just kickboxing.

Michael Yo 59:23 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 59:23 I was kickboxing and first it wa- ... First it was TaeKwonDo, and then it went to kickboxing. And by the time the UFC came around, like, on the ground, I was useless.

Michael Yo 59:32 Okay.

Joe Rogan 59:32 I was a straight white belt. I would get ripped apart every day. I would go to the gym and if I, if I tapped anybody, like if it was like a, a d- ... A week went by and I tapped one guy, I'd be like, "Whoo, I fucking tapped a guy."

Michael Yo 59:43 (laughs) Yeah.

Joe Rogan 59:44 You know, I wasn't tapping anybody.

Michael Yo 59:45 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 59:46 There wasn't that many people doing it, you know? So I was going with like ... There was a couple of white belts maybe and then there was, like, blue belts and purple belts and brown belts, and those guys would always tap me.

Michael Yo 59:54 Gotcha.

Joe Rogan 59:54 And so that's just how it went for a long time. When you're ... You know, unless you're some kinda freak like some big ass football player or some, like, super athlete, you're probably not gonna be able to hold these guys off. They're g- they're gonna, they're gonna choke you.

Michael Yo 1:00:07 Now, was it true you were gonna, uh, fight Wesley Snipes?

Joe Rogan 1:00:10 That was way later though.

Michael Yo 1:00:11 Way later?

Joe Rogan 1:00:12 I was a brown belt by then and I'd been doing a lot of training.

Michael Yo 1:00:14 Would you have beaten him?

Joe Rogan 1:00:16 I don't know 'cause we d- we never did it.

Michael Yo 1:00:18 You never did it, right?

Joe Rogan 1:00:18 He's a real martial artist.

Michael Yo 1:00:20 Okay.

Joe Rogan 1:00:20 He's a real martial artist, but he doesn't know jujitsu. The thing is-

Michael Yo 1:00:23 Well, that must've been exciting though for you. Tr-

Joe Rogan 1:00:25 Oh, super exciting.

Michael Yo 1:00:26 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:00:26 'Cause I was thinking like, I knew that he was a real, legitimate martial artist. Like, he throws kicks and punches and it looks really good.

Michael Yo 1:00:33 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:00:33 Like, he really does know his shit. But I also know he never fought. And there's a big difference between throwing kicks and ... A- and I, and I haven't fought in a long time, but I probably fought a hundred times.

Michael Yo 1:00:45 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:00:45 So like, I'd, I've been ... I've felt that nerves. I know what that's like. I ... It'll be crazy as fuck to do it again. That's what I was thinking. I mean, it'll probably scare the shit out of me. But, I think I know what to do.

Michael Yo 1:00:57 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:00:57 Like, I think I know how to, like, get in there and start feinting, start giving some movement and see how he reacts. And then the worst case scenario is like, I'm like, in a scramble, I'm gonna strangle this guy.

Michael Yo 1:01:07 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:01:07 Like, if this, if this comes to a scramble-

Michael Yo 1:01:09 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:01:10 'Cause the y- the average person really doesn't know how helpless they are until a jujitsu black belt grabs ahold of you. And then you just go, "Oh, shit." Like, "I'm helpless." Because in a fight, i- you really think, like, you might be able to punch a guy. Like, "Maybe if he's fighting me and he's swinging at me and I'm swinging at him, maybe I hit him first." You really think that. But there's no swinging i- if it's a jujitsu fight, if y- if, if you guys get into some sort of a tussle and that guy grabs you and trips you and boom, and he's on the ground with his hand on your jacket and a knee on your chest, you're a dead man.You're a dead man, because there's no lucky shots.

Michael Yo 1:01:48 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:01:48 A jujitsu black belt is just gonna close the distance, like that evil fucking crab-

Michael Yo 1:01:53 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:01:53 ... and he's just gonna squeeze your fucking neck.

Michael Yo 1:01:57 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:01:57 And there's no way you're gonna avoid it, and there's no way you're gonna survive it. You're just not going to.

Michael Yo 1:02:01 That's why you don't fight people. Like, like you can't fight-

Joe Rogan 1:02:03 Well, definitely don't fight people, but I'm just-

Michael Yo 1:02:05 Like, you can't fight random people in the streets. Like, when you're young that was a thing, you could go to bars.

Joe Rogan 1:02:09 Yeah.

Michael Yo 1:02:09 If you... Like, I, I, I had some friends that liked to throw down when I was younger. And I, I wouldn't do it, I would watch them, but-

Joe Rogan 1:02:16 Good for you.

Michael Yo 1:02:16 Now, it's kind of like, you gotta watch everybody, 'cause you don't know what kind of training they're doing.

Joe Rogan 1:02:20 You definitely do.

Michael Yo 1:02:20 Like, everybody's so educated on it, and it's so big right now.

Joe Rogan 1:02:23 Well, some guy fought off, uh, a guy in the Subway that was attacking with a knife with some moves that he learned watching the UFC. Never even trained before. He just knew what to do.

Michael Yo 1:02:33 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:02:33 He, like, knew what to do because he'd seen guys, like, get the mount and, and drop ground and pound. He, like, knew what to do based on watching it.

Michael Yo 1:02:41 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:02:41 Which is crazy.

Michael Yo 1:02:42 I, I think it's good, like when, when you mention that, I think it's good just to learn so you would feel better about yourself in case danger comes.

Joe Rogan 1:02:49 Yeah, man.

Michael Yo 1:02:50 You know?

Joe Rogan 1:02:50 You wanna be the person that gets to make the decision. Here's the thing, right? If you don't know how to fight and there's some drunk asshole who doesn't know how to fight either, but he might come over and punch you in the face and