Joe Rogan Experience #1288 - Jon Reep

1. 0:00 – 15:00

   So bad. …

   1. JRJon Reep0:00

      So bad.

   2. JRJoe Rogan0:02

      And we're live. Um, do you drink? Do you want a zero alcohol Heineken?

   3. JRJon Reep0:06

      Tch, sure. If you're having one.

   4. JRJoe Rogan0:08

      Yeah. There you go, fella. Zero alcohol, let's get crazy. (laughs) They're actually good.

   5. JRJon Reep0:12

      Well, let's pace ourselves.

   6. JRJoe Rogan0:13

      They taste... Cheers, sir. (glasses clinking)

   7. JRJon Reep0:14

      I'm gonna chug this.

   8. JRJoe Rogan0:15

      Whoa, don't do that.

   9. JRJon Reep0:16

      I'm not drinking that.

   10. JRJoe Rogan0:16

       Dude, what are you, dangerous? Reckless?

   11. JRJon Reep0:17

       Zero alcohol. How many calories, though?

   12. JRJoe Rogan0:20

       What, you scared of calories, bro? That's how you stay alive.

   13. JRJon Reep0:23

       That's true.

   14. JRJoe Rogan0:23

       That's how you get your energy from the air.

   15. JRJon Reep0:24

       I mean, I got plenty of calories already.

   16. JRJoe Rogan0:26

       Dammit. I have to ask you. Did you drive in in a Hemi?

   17. JRJon Reep0:29

       (laughs) No, I didn't. I got dropped off-

   18. JRJoe Rogan0:31

       What the fuck? (laughs)

   19. JRJon Reep0:32

       ... in a Chevy.

   20. JRJoe Rogan0:32

       Oh my God.

   21. JRJon Reep0:33

       (laughs) This is outrageous. I had one for a little while.

   22. JRJoe Rogan0:36

       Just a little while?

   23. JRJon Reep0:37

       Yeah.

   24. JRJoe Rogan0:37

       I would've figured, like, you would have to have one for quite a long time.

   25. JRJon Reep0:40

       It was fun. Well, o- okay, I'm gonna backtrack a little bit.

   26. JRJoe Rogan0:43

       Okay.

   27. JRJon Reep0:44

       So first commercial, right? That thing got a Hemi.

   28. JRJoe Rogan0:48

       Right.

   29. JRJon Reep0:48

       I did six of these things.

   30. JRJoe Rogan0:50

       Yeah.
2. 15:00 – 30:00

   That's a Fiero. That's…

   1. JRJoe Rogan15:00

      small. They used to do Ferrari kits for those? Yes. So they'd turn into a fake Testarossa. Yeah. (laughs) Put a car bra on there. Yeah, those were, those were interesting. My friend, Joe, had one of those too. Those were cool little cars. That was amazing car, right? Oh. Tha- Yeah, them back, back in the day, it was like either... In, in my hometown, it was like- There it is. Yeah, that. That was a fake one. Yeah. (laughs) Look at that. Look at that ridiculous car. That's great. That is adorable. Th- Those cars are so gross when people do that. Yeah. And it's obvious. Well, it's like what are you... No one wants that once you get... Is that one? That can't... No, that... Is that a Fiero?

   2. JVJamie Vernon15:34

      That's a Fiero. That's what it says. It says, uh, 40K.

   3. JRJoe Rogan15:35

      Wow. Great job. That's crazy. That one actually looks good. Yeah. What's happen to my Ford? You could trick some really dumb girls with that. (laughs) Like, if you go to Miami. Right. Like... Yeah. You- Let me see your cell phone. Those really, really dumb ones. Yeah. Like if you... That's the... Like, if you were only looking for really dumb gals. Yeah, that's your car. Dumb gold diggers. What is that in the back? Are those louvers? (laughs)

   4. JVJamie Vernon15:55

      What is that?

   5. JRJoe Rogan15:56

      What is that in the back? Yeah, it looks like louvers. Glass louvers? Yeah, it's probably a plastic rear window. Oh my God. They make some cars with plastic windows just to save weight. Like, hey, relax. Relax with that. Yeah. (laughs) We, uh... My buddy and I, he, he had one of those. We hydroplaned. Mm-hmm. Spun around a couple times, totaled it, hit another car that was parked- Mm. ... at a body shop. Wow. And they had just finished it. No. I swear to God. Ooh. He's like- Oh. ... "Cool. Uh, I guess I'm doing two cars." Geez. So he just left the cars there. (laughs) Fixed this one later. Totally by slamming into a car that was just finished at a body shop. Yeah. It was, uh, aggressive. Serendipitous. Uber is that guy's friend. Yeah. (laughs) You should get on, get on the Uber. Yeah. I love Uber. I wonder how much that's preventing drunk driving. I just had this conversation. Yeah? I think what, you know, Mothers Against Drunk Driving, MADD, you know. Maybe even the government should, like, kick in and go like, you know, "These guys are saving lives." Yeah, for sure. Yeah, 'cause i- if you're not doing that, then you're drinking and driving most likely. Most likely. Yeah. So it p- it gives you a real easy option. Yeah. Yeah. And it's so quick, it's so convenient. Mm-hmm. Yeah. You don't have to pull cash out. It's, it's great. It's kind of a weird organization though, both of them. It's like they're trying to figure out if they're employees- Right. Right, right. ... or if they're contractors. Yeah. And then there's like this fact that you're just getting into someone's car, you don't know them. Yeah. You know, I mean, you assume that you get a limo- Mm-hmm. ... that there's a background check. Right. If you get a cab, you're living on the edge. (laughs) Yeah. Taxi driver. Right? That's what I was gonna say, but you never know. Yeah, exactly. Taxi driver. Robert De Niro. 100... You looking at me? Yeah. (laughs) You're talking to motherfucking psychopath. Right. (laughs) Right? He... That's what you, like...

   6. But you would get c- like, New York City cab drivers, you'd get characters. You'd get either, like, uh, angry white dudes or a, like, uh-

   7. JRJon Reep17:48

      Yeah.

   8. JRJoe Rogan17:49

      ... guys who come from other countries that could tell you cool stories.

   9. JRJon Reep17:51

      Yeah.

   10. JRJoe Rogan17:52

       You'd get, like, characters-

   11. JRJon Reep17:53

       Yeah, yeah.

   12. JRJoe Rogan17:53

       ... with w- weird smells and shit.

   13. JRJon Reep17:54

       Yeah, crazy smells, lots of weird music, p- possibly a voodoo doll.

   14. JRJoe Rogan17:59

       But now, you know what you get when you get into a New York City cab driver? You get advertisements. You get screens.

   15. JRJon Reep18:04

       Mm-hmm.

   16. JRJoe Rogan18:04

       Like, they have little laptops facing you.

   17. JRJon Reep18:05

       Yeah, yeah.

   18. JRJoe Rogan18:06

       And they play these g- these-

   19. JRJon Reep18:07

       With credit machine back there.

   20. JRJoe Rogan18:09

       Yeah. And they play these scr- these videos about things, about restaurants and this and that-

   21. JRJon Reep18:14

       Yeah.

   22. JRJoe Rogan18:14

       ... and shows, Barbie shows.

   23. JRJon Reep18:15

       That's probably has its own network at this point.

   24. JRJoe Rogan18:18

       Yeah.

   25. JRJon Reep18:18

       Like, just the cab network.

   26. JRJoe Rogan18:20

       It is kinda, right? It must be.

   27. JRJon Reep18:22

       Uh, yeah. I've seen, uh-

   28. JRJoe Rogan18:23

       Each company probably has their own little loop that they play.

   29. JRJon Reep18:24

       Jimmy Fallon, I mean, uh, I've seen him on there many times-

   30. JRJoe Rogan18:27

       Yeah.
3. 30:00 – 45:00

   It says Chelsea? …

   1. JVJamie Vernon30:00

   2. JRJon Reep30:00

      It says Chelsea?

   3. JRJoe Rogan30:01

      (clears throat) This is, uh, the woman who's winning-

   4. JRJon Reep30:03

      This is not Bruce Jenner.

   5. JRJoe Rogan30:04

      ... world records.

   6. JRJon Reep30:05

      Okay.

   7. JRJoe Rogan30:05

      Let's get a look.

   8. JRJon Reep30:06

      Oh, my God.

   9. JVJamie Vernon30:06

      Oh, yes.

   10. JRJoe Rogan30:07

       Here we go.

   11. JRJon Reep30:07

       Seems like a gal.

   12. JRJoe Rogan30:09

       Huh.

   13. That seems like a very strong man. (laughs)

   14. (laughs) (coughs)

   15. Yeah.

   16. That's so ridiculous. How much weight is that?

   17. It doesn't look like a lot of weight. It's a couple 100 pounds.

   18. Oh, this is, this is about, this is about reps here?

   19. Yeah.

   20. Okay.

   21. It's 300, 300, uh, 315.

   22. 15?

   23. Yeah.

   24. I'm like, "What is-"

   25. Okay. That's a s- ridiculous amount of weight for a woman to lift, and to d- to v-

   26. Yeah.

   27. For, if, if you're gonna be a real woman, a biological woman, excuse me, and lift that kinda weight, you have to be a real outlier.

   28. Yeah.

   29. It's, uh, it's very rare.

   30. Yeah.
4. 45:00 – 1:00:00

   Sh- trifling fellow. He's…

   1. JRJon Reep45:00

      wide at the end.

   2. JRJoe Rogan45:00

      Sh- trifling fellow. He's a trifling fellow.

   3. JRJon Reep45:03

      Don't bring your ass over here with that trifling fellow.

   4. JRJoe Rogan45:06

      Yeah, that's a word, bro. That's a, that's a legit word.

   5. JRJon Reep45:09

      Trifling.

   6. JRJoe Rogan45:10

      Shit, I was gonna say something else and I totally forgot.

   7. JRJon Reep45:12

      (laughs)

   8. JRJoe Rogan45:12

      What did we, we talk about right before trifling?

   9. JRJon Reep45:14

      You were talking about R. Kelly.

   10. JVJamie Vernon45:15

       R. Kelly.

   11. JRJoe Rogan45:16

       Yeah.

   12. JRJon Reep45:16

       I like the album, he, he- I never caught a point. He did an album where it was a lot of just talking.

   13. JRJoe Rogan45:21

       Oh, Trapped in the Closet?

   14. JRJon Reep45:22

       Yeah.

   15. JRJoe Rogan45:23

       Yeah, there was a whole series of videos.

   16. JRJon Reep45:24

       It was just, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

   17. JRJoe Rogan45:25

       I think Aziz had a whole thing on that.

   18. JRJon Reep45:27

       Oh, he did?

   19. JRJoe Rogan45:28

       I think he did, like, Aziz Ansari did a bit on it. I believe so. I know he had a bit.

   20. JRJon Reep45:32

       Yeah.

   21. JRJoe Rogan45:32

       About R. Kelly. It might've been about Trapped in the Closet.

   22. JRJon Reep45:35

       Yeah.

   23. JRJoe Rogan45:35

       Trapped in the Closet is great, but it can't fuck with Real Talk.

   24. JRJon Reep45:38

       (laughs)

   25. JRJoe Rogan45:39

       Real Talk, Real Talk's the jam.

   26. JRJon Reep45:41

       Have you seen-

   27. JVJamie Vernon45:42

       Had a show apparently.

   28. JRJon Reep45:42

       ... Weird Al Yankovic's Trapped in a Drive-Through?

   29. JRJoe Rogan45:46

       No.

   30. JRJon Reep45:46

       It's really good. No. It's the same length as R. Kelly's Trapped in the Closet. And it's the same... And it's all about being trapped in a McDonald's drive-through 'cause the person in front of him is taking too long.
5. 1:00:00 – 1:03:52

   Uh-huh. …

   1. JRJoe Rogan1:00:00

      The idea that the super packs-

   2. JRJon Reep1:00:02

      Uh-huh.

   3. JRJoe Rogan1:00:03

      They, they realized it was too hard to, to just take over shit-

   4. JRJon Reep1:00:07

      Right.

   5. JRJoe Rogan1:00:07

      ... with all these pesky people and their guns and houses.

   6. JRJon Reep1:00:10

      (laughs) Yeah.

   7. JRJoe Rogan1:00:11

      So they got desperate-

   8. JRJon Reep1:00:12

      Well, they're gonna take your fucking horses now.

   9. JRJoe Rogan1:00:14

      Siberia has always been an interesting st- place.

   10. JRJon Reep1:00:16

       Have you been to Russia?

   11. JRJoe Rogan1:00:17

       No, not been.

   12. JRJon Reep1:00:18

       Oh.

   13. JRJoe Rogan1:00:18

       Have you? What'd you do up there?

   14. JRJon Reep1:00:19

       1990.

   15. JRJoe Rogan1:00:20

       Yeah?

   16. JRJon Reep1:00:21

       Right before communism fell. I was there for three weeks.

   17. JRJoe Rogan1:00:23

       Whoa, before communism fell.

   18. JRJon Reep1:00:26

       Yeah, yeah.

   19. JRJoe Rogan1:00:26

       What were you doing?

   20. JRJon Reep1:00:26

       Gorbachev was, uh, in power.

   21. JRJoe Rogan1:00:28

       Whoa.

   22. JRJon Reep1:00:29

       Yeah. Uh, it was just-

   23. JRJoe Rogan1:00:30

       Were you a spy?

   24. JRJon Reep1:00:31

       Yeah. Mm-hmm.

   25. JVJamie Vernon1:00:32

       Ромеnка, как дела? Я не понимаю русский язык.»

   26. JRJoe Rogan1:00:34

       Wow, that's pretty good.

   27. JRJon Reep1:00:35

       (laughs)

   28. JRJoe Rogan1:00:35

       What'd you just say?

   29. JRJon Reep1:00:36

       I said, "Hello. Uh, I don't understand. Please and thank you." (laughs)

   30. JRJoe Rogan1:00:41

       (laughs)

Episode duration: 2:03:42