EVERY SPOKEN WORD
150 min read · 30,208 words- 0:00 – 15:00
Three, two, one. Boom,…
- JRJoe Rogan
Three, two, one. Boom, and we're live. How are you? What's going on?
- EIEddie Izzard
I'm good. I'm pouring coffee in the first seconds...
- JRJoe Rogan
Perfect.
- EIEddie Izzard
... of our chat.
- JRJoe Rogan
That's the good way to do it.
- EIEddie Izzard
With a cafetiere-
- JRJoe Rogan
Good way to-
- EIEddie Izzard
... cafetiere, I think it is. I think that's f- f- named in a French way.
- JRJoe Rogan
A French press? That's what they're called?
- EIEddie Izzard
Is it called... Well, it's called a, I think it's called a cafetiere, but it's probably called a pot of coffee. But, um-
- JRJoe Rogan
That makes sense.
- EIEddie Izzard
But you know-
- JRJoe Rogan
That there's a French word for it that we just ignore here in America. (laughs)
- EIEddie Izzard
I know, 'cause they, they did invent a lot of the food. You know, 'cause you have, um, herbs. You know herbs?
- JRJoe Rogan
Mm-hmm.
- EIEddie Izzard
And I used to do this bit of material, which I really enjoyed saying, you know, the difference between British and American, you say this, you say that. And, uh, you say herbs and we say herbs because there's a fucking H in it.
- JRJoe Rogan
Right.
- EIEddie Izzard
And I used to... (laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- EIEddie Izzard
I used to say because there's a fucking H. But, and I thought, "Well, why has the H dropped off for America?" And I think it's because put, a lot of French guys would have come over, immigration, and they would have done a lot of cooking, you know, so now these French guys know about cooking.
- JRJoe Rogan
Ah.
- EIEddie Izzard
And they do the herbs, and they, they cut the H off totally. So I think that was an influence from that.
- JRJoe Rogan
Probably Julia Child.
- EIEddie Izzard
Julia Child? Is she French?
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah, I think. Wasn't she?
- EIEddie Izzard
She is now. I think she's-
- JRJoe Rogan
I mean, she's into French cooking.
- EIEddie Izzard
Oh, right. Okay, but that, that-
- JRJoe Rogan
That was her thing, right?
- EIEddie Izzard
... Lafayette, maybe Lafayette is sitting next to Washington saying, "We will use herbs with the stuff here."
- 15:00 – 30:00
(laughs) …
- EIEddie Izzard
those white people." So if you're a white male middle class standup, "Oh, it's useless." So thank God I'm a transvestite.
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- EIEddie Izzard
That was my first laugh. And everyone thought, "He's making jokes about something that he's not." You know, and they, and they wouldn't believe me. And journalists were going, "I don't know why he's doing this."
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- EIEddie Izzard
"'Cause he's doing pretty well now, but this is, I don't know, is this a joke?" So I thought, "I better wear a dress as, you know, put some makeup on." And then they said, "Okay, he's doing this. He is serious, but he looks a mess."
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- EIEddie Izzard
Um, this kind of baby elephant thing I was doing. It was, okay, gotta get your weight under control.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- EIEddie Izzard
You should get a better haircut than that. And you just gotta fail a lot. And there's a humiliation period. I mean, this is the weird thing about coming out, that it, it's kind of humiliating. People will say, "You look like..." People will say h- horrible things. What do they say? "Uh, what the fuck is that?" Somebody said to my face right there.
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh.
- EIEddie Izzard
As I was walking out of a restaurant. So I thought, "That's not very nice." And you have to be able to deflect it and go, "Well, you're obviously a scumbag, so fuck you, man." So I-
- JRJoe Rogan
Is it mostly men?
- EIEddie Izzard
Yes. And occasionally women.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- EIEddie Izzard
Occasionally women, but, uh, yeah. I mean, you know, it's low, people of low, lower character they are-
- JRJoe Rogan
Mm-hmm.
- EIEddie Izzard
... or lesser character. If you're a strong character in yourself, you, you don't care. Live and let live, what the hell?
- JRJoe Rogan
Right.
- EIEddie Izzard
You know, people, "Okay, doesn't quite look together, but you know, life's tough enough." But if, if you wanna put someone down, you raise your own status by doing that.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- EIEddie Izzard
And they will do that. And so, I have stood in the street and people have unloaded, you know, swear words, invective to me. And I've just, I, "Fuck you and fuck ............................" They go, "What you fuck? Uh, fuck you and fuck ............................"
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- EIEddie Izzard
And it's literally, you know, two or three of them and one of me just screaming at each other. And I just won't back down now. Th- This happened recently. It was nine months ago, someone outside my house in, in, in London, just having a go at me. So I had to go-
- JRJoe Rogan
And they, they knew who you were as well?
- EIEddie Izzard
Yeah, they did. They knew exactly where. They knew where I lived. They said, "We're gonna do your house, Izzard."
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh, Jesus Christ.
- EIEddie Izzard
They go, "Who the hell is this asshole?" And I went-
- JRJoe Rogan
Just because of the way you dress?
- EIEddie Izzard
Well, it was, he, he added that into it. There was a, there was an altercation over, I was just packing my car up 'cause I was just driving home to see my dad. And somebody said, "You gotta give me a ride in your car." And I said, and I, so someone heckles me like that in the street. I just come back with a F- "You will never have a ride in my car." You know?
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- 30:00 – 45:00
Mm-hmm. …
- EIEddie Izzard
the, the, the, the live feed to, to London finished at quarter past, and we got there about 30 minutes past, so we had about two minutes and they just caught it before they went off air. It was like, you know-... like in a film (laughs) , you know, it was perfectly designed. I just knew if I got that, probably I'd get more money, I'd raise more money, an extra $100,000 because people say, "We've seen this idiot finish. He's actually doing it." You know? Um, so that was beautiful. And then I talked to the ... It was a very interesting thing, because you know if you're talking to pr- it was the press, I talked to the press after that, but it was a Sunday. And so they kept talk- normally they say, "We, we can't talk any more. We've got two minutes and then we've got to talk to important people. Go away." That's what normally happens if you're talking to live press-
- JRJoe Rogan
Mm-hmm.
- EIEddie Izzard
... national press. But I was on the thing and they just kept talking to me, because obviously a slow news day, nothing was happening, and they say, "We've got this idiot who's just run, you know, 27 marathons." And they kept asking me other questions. "And what favorite color do you have?"
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- EIEddie Izzard
"And what, what, how, how big are your legs? And what ..." And I said, and I-
- JRJoe Rogan
How big are your legs? (laughs)
- EIEddie Izzard
Yeah, just I don't know what they were asking me. But in the end, these two interviews I did with national press, I just said, "I'm gonna go away now. I'm gonna stop this." I had to stop my own interview, which I've never done in my life. And I realized, they've just got no one else to talk to.
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- EIEddie Izzard
They're desperate.
- JRJoe Rogan
Did you notice a, a big change in public perception of you once you completed those marathons?
- EIEddie Izzard
Yeah. The, um, yeah, there's certain community ... And if you're a transgender guy and you come out, there's certain people who go, "Wha-" But I, I crossed into a line of, "Well, if you're gonna do that, and you, I hear ... I know you do some comedy, you do the drama stuff. We think you're a bit, you know, bonkers and out there, but fair play." I got this sort of ... I got a pass. A-
- JRJoe Rogan
Hmm.
- EIEddie Izzard
... fair play to you if you're gonna do that. And I was trying to do selection, you know, SAS they have selection, your Delta Forces, Naval SEALs, they all have this thing that can you just go on and on and on and on. It's the stamina thing.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- EIEddie Izzard
And that was my ci- civilian selection for my own whatever-
- JRJoe Rogan
Vetification.
- EIEddie Izzard
... Civil Special Forces, yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
Just to understand yourself.
- EIEddie Izzard
Yeah. I, I know I can go a lot f- I mean, coming out as transgender, when you're straight, I'm straight transgender, so I fancy women so I'm a wannabe lesbian. So if you come out, you, you could stay in the closet and a l- down the millennia if we go back to the ancient Egyptians and further, there's probably a lot of guys saying, "I'm not going to tell anyone about this. I just, I fancy women."
- JRJoe Rogan
Mm-hmm.
- EIEddie Izzard
"I'll just go there, I just won't mention this kind of feelings in my head." And I thought, "I should mention it because if people shout and scream at me in the streets, I will, I will fight that, at least, uh, verbally fight that or, you know, if they start going for it." I have had one fight in the street. And I landed one punch.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah?
- EIEddie Izzard
I, uh, I taught myself jujitsu-
- JRJoe Rogan
You had a fight on the streets because of this?
- EIEddie Izzard
Yeah, yeah. The guy was, was just giving me, "Oh, Tracy, oh, what, ooh, he's all dressed up." And, and I, and I was ... I'd been a s- a street performer for four years at Covent Garden so I was living on the street, you know. Or not living, I was working on the streets and, you know, just knew a lot of people going around. I just said, "Mate, you don't have to be like this. We can all ... There's space enough for everyone. Live and let live." Kept giving me stuff. He was a bit drunk I realized though, so he was just gonna stay on that wicket, keep saying that. And I said, "Just chill out, chill out." And then the third time I just said, "Oh, just fuck off," and I went ... No, I, I, I u- I un- loaded a load of swear words on him and then he swung for me-
- JRJoe Rogan
Mm.
- EIEddie Izzard
... which was the handy thing because that came up in court. And then I swung back and I landed one punch, which I was pleased about. And I was doing the wipe on, wipe off stuff. I was doing this blocking-
- JRJoe Rogan
You were blocking?
- EIEddie Izzard
Yeah, from a jujitsu book that I, I taught myself jujitsu from a book if you could believe that, which is, you know, you get these books with the different moves in and you can't teach yourself that. But I did judo when I was six actually as well. So I liked the idea of doing these things, but I felt judo was always that the bigger kid ... You all get in pajamas and the bigger kid just throws you around a bit.
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- 45:00 – 1:00:00
Right. …
- JRJoe Rogan
a documentary about this one particular strain of lion that... There was a, apparently the river split sides, or the, the river changed its path and it turned this area into an island. And the lions had to adapt because the only thing that they could eat was buffalo, which is very difficult to kill. You know? Usually they're eating antelope and other smaller things that aren't nearly as dangerous.
- EIEddie Izzard
Right.
- JRJoe Rogan
So these lions developed and became far larger. So the female lions are as large as a normal male lion, and they're hulking, like massive muscles. And they're just enormous, it's this enormous strain of lion that's exclusively eating buffalo. And there's a whole documentary, it's a National Geographic documentary, I think. It's really good. But it's just incredible to see these things walking around. I mean, they look cartoonish, they're like the Hulk. So it's hard to tell. You'd have to compare them to a regular lion, but there's some images of these things walking around and they just look so much larger than a regular lion, because they just had to adapt. And I would think that if you're running around, like if you're running, you got to think like you're, you look like something that's trying to get away.
- EIEddie Izzard
What, if, me running in that park?
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah. Yeah.
- EIEddie Izzard
No, I was right next to the green vehicle. So the big metal green vehicle was there and they just said, "Stay close." So I was one door flip away from... I, I just launched myself into the... It was open top, so I would have been in that vehicle before they got to me.
- JRJoe Rogan
I-
- EIEddie Izzard
I hope.
- JRJoe Rogan
Did you hear about that woman from, uh, she was an editor on the Game of Thrones? And she was in one of those parks and she had her window rolled down and she, they told her, "Keep your windows rolled up at all times." And she was trying to take better photographs and the cat reached in and grabbed her and pulled her out of the vehicle and killed her. This was last year.
- EIEddie Izzard
(exhales)
- JRJoe Rogan
You know, they're, they're a dangerous creature.
- EIEddie Izzard
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
And you're just out there running with them.
- EIEddie Izzard
Yeah, well I, they, um...
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs) Yeah, this is... Oh, is that a picture of it?
- EIEddie Izzard
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh, God. They have a picture of it happening?
- EIEddie Izzard
Yeah. It was in 2015.
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh. Was it really that long ago?
- EIEddie Izzard
Yeah, I just looked it up. Yeah. It seems like it was recently.
- JRJoe Rogan
That's cra- I thought that was last year.
- EIEddie Izzard
No, it was...
- JRJoe Rogan
I'm, my facts are terrible.
- EIEddie Izzard
(laughs) Time's flying, bro.
- JRJoe Rogan
Look at that though, that is just so awful that they actually caught it on camera. Well, she just thought it was, you know, she was safe, she's in the car. It reached in and grabbed her and pulled her out.
- EIEddie Izzard
Yeah. I, uh-
- JRJoe Rogan
And you're out there running around.
- EIEddie Izzard
I would have, uh... There was a guy with a gun next to it. (laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
I hope he's a good shot.
- EIEddie Izzard
He said he knew how to shoot things. The, um... I don't know, I, I played my cards. You know?
- 1:00:00 – 1:05:05
I don't remember it.…
- EIEddie Izzard
sometime prostitute and had men in and out of the, the house, and his dad was just never there. And he found himself through a, uh, a boys, a boys retreat, you know, because he was breaking the law and they sent him off to this place. And then they told him to talk these kids how to train wild horses, and that was one of the first things he did. And he was just so ambitious. And then with Yul Brynner in, um, in Magnificent Seven, 'cause you know, if you know that film at the beginning, they've got Yul Brynner. Do you know that film well? It wasn't-
- JRJoe Rogan
I don't remember it.
- EIEddie Izzard
Well, it's... Magnificent Seven is a great film. So it's got Yul Brynner with his...... coloring and it, but no hair, but such an amazing look, and Steve McQueen, at the beginning, they go up to Boot Hill to bury this Indian guy up at Boot Hill. And, and people are not allowing it. There's racism in the town. And they both go up and they ride shotgun. Again, two heroes. But he was f- he was, Yul Brynner was the top guy and, uh, apparently Steve McQueen goes, "You see what you, you see what Brynner's doing? You see what his caravan is, man? God, he's got all this stuff here." And he just wanted to be th- the top guy.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- EIEddie Izzard
And, and he got there. And it, it's a beautiful story. It doesn't end brilliantly, but, you know, uh, Bullet is great, Great Escape is great.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah, he was a f- fascinating guy, Steve McQueen. He became a race car driver, like serious-
- EIEddie Izzard
Yeah, well-
- JRJoe Rogan
... serious race car driver.
- EIEddie Izzard
Yeah, no, he, he came second in the one before ... There's a documentary on, on Le Mans.
- JRJoe Rogan
Mm-hmm.
- EIEddie Izzard
Le Mans race, the 24-hour race. And he bec- he did a race in Am- in America, which was, I think was a 12-hour race, and then he came second. He, with a broken foot, he did it.
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- EIEddie Izzard
You know. And he was just, he's kind of a force of nature, but he would also do crazy things. I mean, really crazy things, which are just not-
- JRJoe Rogan
Well, he died fairly young, too, right?
- EIEddie Izzard
Yeah, 50, he died.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- EIEddie Izzard
Died of cancer. He was doing-
- JRJoe Rogan
Smoking and drinking.
- EIEddie Izzard
Yeah, I don't know what it was. How do ... You know, we still don't know why people get cancer.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- EIEddie Izzard
My mum died when I, when I, when I was six and she was a nurse and never smoked, and she died of bowel cancer. I mean, what's-
- JRJoe Rogan
Jesus.
- EIEddie Izzard
What is that?
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- EIEddie Izzard
Nothing makes sense if you, when y- unless you put in random into the world. That's my theory of the universe.
- JRJoe Rogan
It's a good theory.
- EIEddie Izzard
Yeah. I- if you put random in, it makes sense. After 13.5 billion years, we've had about 300 years since the Enlightenment, and I just think we're lucky enough to be here. We've had five great extinctions and we could have a sixth, or we could look after ourselves and treat other people as you'd like to be treated yourself. That great rule. Do unto others as you'd have done to you and that, if we did, if we all did that tomorrow, (smacks lips) the world would all work.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah. Just-
- EIEddie Izzard
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
... how do we do that? How do we get that going?
Episode duration: 2:56:58
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