Joe Rogan Experience #1290 - Bryan Callen

Bryan Callen is an actor and stand-up comedian, and together with Brendan Schaub he also hosts “The Fighter & The Kid” podcast. His new stand up special “Complicated Apes” is now available to download on iTunes, Amazon, and various other platforms.

Bryan CallenguestJoe Roganhost

May 4, 20191h 44mWatch on YouTube ↗

EVERY SPOKEN WORD

150 min read · 30,006 words

0:00 – 1:18
Radiolab’s dinosaur-killer asteroid and Rogan’s “moron’s version” of geology
1. BCBryan Callen
  Brian Callen.
2. JRJoe Rogan
  Mm-hmm. Yes! And we're live-
3. BCBryan Callen
  Live!
4. JRJoe Rogan
  ... Brian Callen. We're live.
5. BCBryan Callen
  We are live.
6. JRJoe Rogan
  We're live, ladies and gentlemen.
7. BCBryan Callen
  We are live. I've been listening to Radio Lab on the way over here.
8. JRJoe Rogan
  Ah.
9. BCBryan Callen
  And, um, they have a new episode out about the asteroid impact that killed the dinosaurs.
10. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah.
11. BCBryan Callen
  Holy shit, man.
12. JRJoe Rogan
  Right.
13. BCBryan Callen
  Would you-
14. JRJoe Rogan
  Apparently, they, th- tell me if I'm right about this before you tell me more-
15. BCBryan Callen
  Okay.
16. JRJoe Rogan
  ... because I wanna see if I have a little knowledge.
17. BCBryan Callen
  Go ahead.
18. JRJoe Rogan
  There is an under, like, there's a v- very hard layer of rock-
19. BCBryan Callen
  Mm-hmm.
20. JRJoe Rogan
  ... that covers a large part of the Earth.
21. BCBryan Callen
  Right.
22. JRJoe Rogan
  And that is proof that somehow there was an asteroid that hit and it be- got really, really hot and the rock got m- essentially-
23. BCBryan Callen
  That is a moron's version-
24. JRJoe Rogan
  (laughs)
25. BCBryan Callen
  ... of the science-
26. JRJoe Rogan
  I-
27. BCBryan Callen
  ... that they clearly lay out. (laughs)
28. JRJoe Rogan
  And that, by the way, is the worst thing. I'm also like, "There's rock that got melted."
29. BCBryan Callen
  They, this-
30. JRJoe Rogan
  "And it was under the ground."
1:18 – 3:28
Flat Earth, dinosaur denial, and why people trust iPhones but not satellites
1. JRJoe Rogan
  I don't believe in dinosaurs 'cause I'm, you know, I'm, I have something called the Bible at home, but...
2. BCBryan Callen
  Some people don't believe in dinosaurs. Do you know that? Right?
3. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah.
4. BCBryan Callen
  There's flat earth folks.
5. JRJoe Rogan
  Oh, well, those-
6. BCBryan Callen
  They, they believe dinosaurs are fake.
7. JRJoe Rogan
  Why is it that most flat Earthers, from my experience, are generally super good at, like, s- a, a discipline that has nothing to do with astrophysics, like jujitsu? Like, they spend a lot of time on a mat, but then they have really strong political opinions about the central banks.
8. BCBryan Callen
  I think-
9. JRJoe Rogan
  (laughs)
10. BCBryan Callen
  I think it's just a lack of real education. And then you get-
11. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah.
12. BCBryan Callen
  ... you get caught up in these YouTube things-
13. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah.
14. BCBryan Callen
  ... that show you a secret. And it's very attractive. It's very attractive to, like, find out about some hidden stuff.
15. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah.
16. BCBryan Callen
  Like, "Oh my God, I can't believe they did this. They hid from us the fact that the Earth is flat. Jesus Christ, space is fake? Du- bro, space is fake."
17. JRJoe Rogan
  (laughs)
18. BCBryan Callen
  "Satellites aren't real. They're low-flying planes. They're planes, they're, that's all, they're constantly beaming down these information from the sky. Satellites are not real."
19. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah.
20. BCBryan Callen
  "Nuclear bombs, they're not real."
21. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah.
22. BCBryan Callen
  "They're not real, they're just big bombs."
23. JRJoe Rogan
  But then the problem is when you break your leg and you have to set your bone or you get staph, and, and you have to trust big pharma to cure it. Or you use your, your iPhone and it works, and you're talking to somebody in Japan.
24. BCBryan Callen
  That's a big one.
25. JRJoe Rogan
  Do- you know what I'm saying?
26. BCBryan Callen
  The iPhone's the big one.
27. JRJoe Rogan
  So, but wh- why is that technology something you trust (laughs) and you know, the st-
28. BCBryan Callen
  Only that.
29. JRJoe Rogan
  ... stuff is not?
30. BCBryan Callen
  Your fucking iPhone has a global positioning satellite chip in it.
3:28 – 5:35
Bigfoot origins, Gigantopithecus, and the ‘gorilla would sound fake’ argument
1. BCBryan Callen
  That's definitely, and that might've been a real thing.
2. JRJoe Rogan
  Right. You think so?
3. BCBryan Callen
  One time... Yeah. It was a real animal one time.
4. JRJoe Rogan
  There was a creature?
5. BCBryan Callen
  Yeah, there was a real creature called Gigantopithecus. It was a real animal. It was like eight foot tall, bipedal, hominid. It absolutely existed.
6. JRJoe Rogan
  Probably.
7. BCBryan Callen
  Yeah. Why not?
8. JRJoe Rogan
  Like a giant-
9. BCBryan Callen
  Yeah.
10. JRJoe Rogan
  ... a giant ape of some sort?
11. BCBryan Callen
  Dude, if a fucking gorilla didn't exist, imagine seeing a gorilla.
12. JRJoe Rogan
  Right.
13. BCBryan Callen
  You'd be like, "Jesus Christ, what the fuck is that thing?"
14. JRJoe Rogan
  Six foot, 600 pounds.
15. BCBryan Callen
  Hulking, huge-
16. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah.
17. BCBryan Callen
  ... hairy, black beast with a giant chest and enormous arms, and pounds on his chest, runs on all fours.
18. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah.
19. BCBryan Callen
  And you're like, "Fucking fangs."
20. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah.
21. BCBryan Callen
  And when they fly through the air at each other and clash.
22. JRJoe Rogan
  It's crazy.
23. BCBryan Callen
  And smash into each other and fight. Holy fuck, man. If you didn't know that was real-
24. JRJoe Rogan
  I know.
25. BCBryan Callen
  ... and you ran into a gorilla, you'd be like, "What the fuck?"
26. JRJoe Rogan
  Huge.
27. BCBryan Callen
  And by the way, they didn't know mountain gorillas were even a thing until the early 1900s.
28. JRJoe Rogan
  Oh, really?
29. BCBryan Callen
  They're a legend. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When was the discovery of mountain gorillas?
30. JRJoe Rogan
  Don't they think those giant chimps in the Congo are, are a hybrid?
5:35 – 8:54
Chimpanzees: territorial warfare, ‘lion killer’ chimps, and why they terrify humans
1. JRJoe Rogan
  Wow. Well, the... I, I think it's interesting in Goma where those groups of male chimps expand their territory.
2. BCBryan Callen
  Mm.
3. JRJoe Rogan
  They kill other males.
4. BCBryan Callen
  Yeah. Yeah, they hunt.
5. JRJoe Rogan
  And then move their women and children into the area that they annex.
6. BCBryan Callen
  Yeah, isn't that crazy?
7. JRJoe Rogan
  Vicious. They just, as groups fall down, fall on the smaller, you know, tribes of, of chimps and, and decimate them. Very humiliating.
8. BCBryan Callen
  They have so many, so many similarities to humans.
9. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah.
10. BCBryan Callen
  So many. Yeah. But these, um, bonobo apes, they call them. This is the, um, the giant chimp. There's, these n- they nest on the ground too, like gorillas.
11. JRJoe Rogan
  Uh-huh.Are they as violent as, uh, they live in large communities like chimps?
12. BCBryan Callen
  The, the l- the locals have two names for chimps over there. They have one that they're calling tree beaters, those are the regular sized chimps, and the other one's they call lion killers.
13. JRJoe Rogan
  Damn.
14. BCBryan Callen
  They're so big, they've, they've, uh, they've got videos of these things eating a leopard.
15. JRJoe Rogan
  What?
16. BCBryan Callen
  Yeah.
17. JRJoe Rogan
  Whoa.
18. BCBryan Callen
  They don't know if it... Yeah, they're enormous chimps. So they don't know if it killed the leopard or if the leopard died-
19. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah.
20. BCBryan Callen
  ... and then they're eating it. They don't know, but they do know one was eating a fucking leopard.
21. JRJoe Rogan
  (laughs)
22. BCBryan Callen
  So you gotta think-
23. JRJoe Rogan
  Yummy kitty cat.
24. BCBryan Callen
  ... when they're standing up, they're taller than me, I'm 5'8", they're six feet tall. You're six feet tall?
25. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah.
26. BCBryan Callen
  So they're your height.
27. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah.
28. BCBryan Callen
  Your height, but a chimp, and a jack chimp.
29. JRJoe Rogan
  God.
30. BCBryan Callen
  That's probably 250, 300 pounds.
8:54 – 11:05
The Congo’s reality: danger, disease, and Justin Wren’s ‘Fight for the Forgotten’ wells
1. BCBryan Callen
  Yeah, but, um, that thing in the Congo, man, it's, it's apparently in a very difficult spot to reach. It's very dangerous to go through there.
2. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah.
3. BCBryan Callen
  You know, when Justin Wren goes through there, he has some hair-raising stories about being held up at gunpoint, you know-
4. JRJoe Rogan
  Oh, yeah.
5. BCBryan Callen
  ... where people thought they were gonna i- i- they were gonna kill somebody, and they, they-
6. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah. A lot of the people, a lot of the, apparently, a lot of the sort of, uh, soldiers and people that committed atrocities from the, the, uh, war in Rwanda w- kind of v- in their bands kind of moved into the Congo-
7. BCBryan Callen
  Oof.
8. JRJoe Rogan
  ... and lived in the, in, you know, in the jungle and who knows? Who knows?
9. BCBryan Callen
  Justin is a fucking-
10. JRJoe Rogan
  A lot of crime.
11. BCBryan Callen
  Justin Wren is a saint.
12. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah, he is.
13. BCBryan Callen
  That guy is a-
14. JRJoe Rogan
  He digs wells.
15. BCBryan Callen
  He's a, he's a legitimate saint.
16. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah, I know.
17. BCBryan Callen
  Really is.
18. JRJoe Rogan
  Great guy.
19. BCBryan Callen
  Guy, he's gotten malaria three times-
20. JRJoe Rogan
  God.
21. BCBryan Callen
  ... visiting the Congo and building wells.
22. JRJoe Rogan
  Unbelievable.
23. BCBryan Callen
  It's amazing.
24. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah, he told us some amazing stories. Heartbreaking.
25. BCBryan Callen
  Yeah.
26. JRJoe Rogan
  You know?
27. BCBryan Callen
  It's amazing. The Cash App, um, which is, uh, one of my sponsors also sponsors Fight for the Forgotten. They give people mo- they give $5 every time someone signs up and uses the code Joe Rogan, and they've built a to- they're building wells right now because of that.
28. JRJoe Rogan
  Really?
29. BCBryan Callen
  Yeah, they've, they've... What was the latest number? I forget what the number was. They sent me, uh, an updated... Like very early on, they were, they had built two wells and then they built a bunch more and provided water to a, a shit ton of people down there. I don't know the s- exact statistics.
30. JRJoe Rogan
  The guy who wrote Moonwalking with Einstein, uh, what the hell is his... He... It's a b- book about memory and stuff. Really smart guy. He lived with the pygmies in the Congo for a long time.
11:05 – 12:47
Rainforest intensity and mosquito warfare: sulfur coils, Thermacells, Alaska bites
1. JRJoe Rogan
  ... it's not a very... I spent enough time in the Indonesian rainforest, I've never seen bugs like that in my life.
2. BCBryan Callen
  (laughs)
3. JRJoe Rogan
  I've never seen anything like it.
4. BCBryan Callen
  Yeah.
5. JRJoe Rogan
  It's so loud it sounds like it... Take the loudest street in Manhattan, and I'm not kidding, that's how loud the insects and birds and everything are. And then you have to carry a... Bug spray does not work. Did I ever tell you this? The bug spray?
6. BCBryan Callen
  Yeah.
7. JRJoe Rogan
  You gotta carry a sulfur coil.
8. BCBryan Callen
  Yeah.
9. JRJoe Rogan
  Good luck with the mosquitoes. Bug spray, they laugh at your fucking, at your bug spray. You gotta carry a, you have to burn a sulfur coil when you're holding-
10. BCBryan Callen
  And just carry, hold it while you're walking?
11. JRJoe Rogan
  That's correct. It's, it's certain times of the day.
12. BCBryan Callen
  Is there anything else? What year was this?
13. JRJoe Rogan
  Like when you wake up, it, they just, they're all over the place.
14. BCBryan Callen
  What year was this that you were doing this?
15. JRJoe Rogan
  Uh, God, I was 21.
16. BCBryan Callen
  Did they, did they have thermacells back then?
17. JRJoe Rogan
  I don't think so.
18. BCBryan Callen
  Yeah, thermacells are the shit. Have you ever used a thermacell?
19. JRJoe Rogan
  No, what is that?
20. BCBryan Callen
  Oh my God, they're, they're a fucking game changer.
21. JRJoe Rogan
  Really?
22. BCBryan Callen
  Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's, um, it's a device that has like a heating coil in it and some fuel, and you ignite it-... and the- the heating coil, it heats up and you put this little pad across the screen. And this little pad has this stuff in it that mosquitoes hate. It's probably terrible for you.
23. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah, I was gonna say.
24. BCBryan Callen
  Some fucking chemical. But the chemical wafts up in the air and I'm telling you, it creates like a 10-foot bubble around you where no mosquitoes get in.
25. JRJoe Rogan
  That's great.
26. BCBryan Callen
  Yeah. And e- look, even if it's a little bad for you, maybe it's like smoking a pack of cigarettes-
27. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah. Better than getting-
28. BCBryan Callen
  You know? Yeah.
29. JRJoe Rogan
  ... st- con- fed on.
30. BCBryan Callen
  Yeah, I'm not using it every day. I wouldn't recommend using it every day, but if it's the difference between like enjoying... Like, if you're in a place like, uh, Alaska.
12:47 – 18:36
Nature isn’t gentle: elephants, crop destruction, and conservation through hunting
1. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah. Nature could give a fuck about you.
2. BCBryan Callen
  Nature could give a fuck.
3. JRJoe Rogan
  I love people who are into nature and they... And it... Like, listen man-
4. BCBryan Callen
  They don't even know what nature is. They like-
5. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah. Go try to... Go...
6. BCBryan Callen
  Yeah.
7. JRJoe Rogan
  Exactly. Go try to raise crops in, uh, South Africa when animals... when elephants were all everywhere.
8. BCBryan Callen
  Yeah.
9. JRJoe Rogan
  And lions and leopards.
10. BCBryan Callen
  Or now.
11. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah.
12. BCBryan Callen
  Even now, if these poor villagers that they... They're poor-
13. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah.
14. BCBryan Callen
  ... and they build these crops and they... They have this farm and they- they- they have all this food for their village-
15. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah.
16. BCBryan Callen
  ... and then elephants roam in.
17. JRJoe Rogan
  20 elephants go, "Hey, man."
18. BCBryan Callen
  And that's a wrap.
19. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah.
20. BCBryan Callen
  There's nothing you can do.
21. JRJoe Rogan
  You're not gonna go, "Get the fuck out of here."
22. BCBryan Callen
  Yeah.
23. JRJoe Rogan
  They'll i-... stop on you.
24. BCBryan Callen
  They... I mean, and then people get mad when people shoot the elephants. It's like, "Okay, I get it, but I don't know what you want here." Like w-
25. JRJoe Rogan
  They have a lot of stories about... Elephants have this mystique in South Africa. There was this guy who was a farmer and, uh, he had a donkey and it was tied up. And, um, the elephants came into his property and he shot guns and got them the hell away from there. And then, uh, the next day, the elephants came back and stomped his fucking donkey-
26. BCBryan Callen
  Whoa.
27. JRJoe Rogan
  ... into mush.
28. BCBryan Callen
  Whoa.
29. JRJoe Rogan
  Just stomped. And the donkey was on a, you know, rope and they were like, "Really?" Gang, gang, gang.
30. BCBryan Callen
  Wow.
18:36 – 22:04
LA’s mountain lions and the hidden cost of rat poison (P-47)
1. BCBryan Callen
  Yeah. Well, you know one just died? A famous one just died.
2. JRJoe Rogan
  Where?
3. BCBryan Callen
  I got a text from Rinella. Out here. Um, he, uh, ate some rat poison.
4. JRJoe Rogan
  Oh, shit.
5. BCBryan Callen
  Yeah.
6. JRJoe Rogan
  Really?
7. BCBryan Callen
  That's a real problem with rat poison, man. Rat poison doesn't just affect rats.
8. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah.
9. BCBryan Callen
  You know? There's like ... There's secondary and...
10. JRJoe Rogan
  My dog almost died that way.
11. BCBryan Callen
  Yeah?
12. JRJoe Rogan
  And what it does is, the rat poison s-... I think s- s- stops you from producing vitamin K in your body, which is a... Which is how you clot blood.
13. BCBryan Callen
  Oh.
14. JRJoe Rogan
  And so they just bleed internally.
15. BCBryan Callen
  Oh, geez. Gross.
16. JRJoe Rogan
  So my dog ate a shitload of it and they pumped his stomach, gave him charcoal, and then he had to take vitamin K supplements for a long time.
17. BCBryan Callen
  Wow.
18. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah.
19. BCBryan Callen
  Yeah. The, uh, people, they poison their rats, then things eat the rats. You know?
20. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah.
21. BCBryan Callen
  And this, uh, mountain lion's a famous mountain lion. It's collared. You don't want to be tracking.
22. JRJoe Rogan
  Really? Down out here?
23. BCBryan Callen
  We got a number. Yeah. Rinella texted me about it and then I, I looked into it. Oh, you got it there? What d- what did... Which number does it say here?
24. NANarrator
  P47.
25. BCBryan Callen
  P47. Is that the one that they spotted at the h- not... No.
26. NANarrator
  I think so. This one was only three years old.
27. BCBryan Callen
  Hey, we were gonna get a photo of that, right?
28. NANarrator
  Yes.
29. BCBryan Callen
  Yeah, let's do that.
30. NANarrator
  Oh, yeah. We tracked it down.
22:04 – 25:00
‘I have a special connection with animals’: intuition talk and the Megan Fox lesson
1. BCBryan Callen
  S- c- th- that's my favorite, is the people that think that they have some sort of special connection with dog.
2. JRJoe Rogan
  Oh, fuck it. My friend's girlfriend... We're all sitting around. My friend's girlfriend's so hot, so hot. And this is one of those girls where it's like, we're sitting there and she goes, "And I was, I was meditating, and I saw a deer. And it looked at me, and the deer gave me love."
3. BCBryan Callen
  Mm.
4. JRJoe Rogan
  (laughs) And we're all like... I'm just looking at her tits, you know?
5. BCBryan Callen
  Amazing.
6. JRJoe Rogan
  I was a young dude. Like, "Jesus, she's so hot."
7. BCBryan Callen
  (laughs)
8. JRJoe Rogan
  "She's so, she's so... She's s- such an estrogen." You know? And, uh, my buddy, of course. You know how you have those friends that can't let it go?
9. BCBryan Callen
  Yeah.
10. JRJoe Rogan
  "Just let it go, dude."
11. BCBryan Callen
  Let it go.
12. JRJoe Rogan
  "Let her have her thing." My buddy goes, "What?"
13. BCBryan Callen
  (laughs)
14. JRJoe Rogan
  "Gave you love? Explain that shit to me."
15. BCBryan Callen
  Ah.
16. JRJoe Rogan
  "Explain..." He wanted to get all biological. Well, you know what? You're close-minded and you're not intuitive. I'm really intuitive and it became that.
17. BCBryan Callen
  Ah, intuitive. Intuitive.
18. JRJoe Rogan
  It's my favorite thing.
19. BCBryan Callen
  Yeah.
20. JRJoe Rogan
  I love that shit.
21. BCBryan Callen
  But those people that claim they have some special connection with animals, like, animals just recognize-
22. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah.
23. BCBryan Callen
  ... who I am. They know my nature.
24. JRJoe Rogan
  You know who kind of schooled me?
25. NANarrator
  I...
26. JRJoe Rogan
  Megan Fox, I was doing a movie with her, and, and I assumed... She started talking about signs, and I was making fun of, like, psychics and signs and all the...
27. BCBryan Callen
  Mm-hmm.
28. JRJoe Rogan
  And Megan goes, "Well, um, maybe... You ever think that maybe you're a little close-minded?" And I go, "No. Not scientific-minded," and, "No, I'm not, and I think all psychics are liars, and I think astrology is bullshit." But then, like, M- Megan literally went into her knowledge of science and geology and everything else, and I was like, "Oh, you're a fucking... Oh. Oh. Wait. You're a really hot intellectual and you know a shitload, and I made a judgment on you." It was very... It was actually embarrassing.
29. BCBryan Callen
  Isn't that an interesting, like, you would automatically make a judgment on someone who's hot? Like, "Oh, your life's been easy as fuck."
30. JRJoe Rogan
  Right. And she's not like that.
25:00 – 32:31
Paulie Malignaggi encounter, bare-knuckle drama, and promotion ethics
1. JRJoe Rogan
  (laughs) I had Paulie Malignaggi, he was at my gym. And, uh, then he kinda knew. He goes, "Wait a minute, I just figured out who the fuck you are. You're the guy from The Hangover! Ah!" He's freaking out. So- so I take that opportunity to ask him, like I'm just asking him, like w- some boxing questions. Next thing I know, he's giving me a boxing lesson.
2. BCBryan Callen
  Yeah.
3. JRJoe Rogan
  How fucking cool is that?
4. BCBryan Callen
  That is cool.
5. JRJoe Rogan
  Paulie Malignaggi.
6. BCBryan Callen
  This recent?
7. JRJoe Rogan
  Yes. It was three days ago.
8. BCBryan Callen
  He- is he really gonna do that bare-knuckle boxing-
9. JRJoe Rogan
  Sure is.
10. BCBryan Callen
  ... that he does, Artem Lobov?
11. JRJoe Rogan
  Sure is. Yeah, and he's taking it personally.
12. BCBryan Callen
  Yeah, but man, you don't wanna break your hands and you don't wanna get your face cut up.
13. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah.
14. BCBryan Callen
  Like, is he done fighting? Like, boxing bo- he's like 36, right?
15. JRJoe Rogan
  All I noticed, he looked like he was in shape.
16. BCBryan Callen
  Yeah.
17. JRJoe Rogan
  He was like... And he was giving people pointers. He's very, he looks, he seems... I- I listen to him a lot on, you know, Showtime and stuff.
18. BCBryan Callen
  Mm-hmm.
19. JRJoe Rogan
  He's cerebral as hell. I mean, he knows the game, man.
20. BCBryan Callen
  He's a very smart guy.
21. JRJoe Rogan
  Wow.
22. BCBryan Callen
  He doesn't get hit a lot.
23. JRJoe Rogan
  No.
24. BCBryan Callen
  Yeah.
25. JRJoe Rogan
  Not in the face.
26. BCBryan Callen
  I mean, when you think about a boxer that can talk as well as he can-
27. JRJoe Rogan
  Oh, unbelievable.
28. BCBryan Callen
  ... and as articulate as he is, and-
29. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah.
30. BCBryan Callen
  ... understa-... I mean, if you watch h- the way he fights, like watch his fights with Adrien Broner. Like, he- he knew how to figure out the puzzle-
32:31 – 43:16
Solving elite fighter ‘riddles’: Crawford/Loma comparisons to Khabib’s pressure—and CTE fears
1. JRJoe Rogan
  Now, how do you solve the riddle that is Khabib Nurmagomedov?
2. BCBryan Callen
  Tha- that's a different riddle.
3. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah.
4. BCBryan Callen
  'Cause that motherfucker's not on the outside boxing you and s- he's gonna grab you.
5. JRJoe Rogan
  Conor, Conor for a while, Conor for a while, you know he's gonna take you down.
6. BCBryan Callen
  Mm-hmm.
7. JRJoe Rogan
  But what it looked like, Conor, for a while, was isolating. He had two hands on that wrist. He was stopping him for a long time from closing his, his hands.
8. BCBryan Callen
  Mm-hmm.
9. JRJoe Rogan
  And, and that seemed kind of effective for a while. I mean, good luck.
10. BCBryan Callen
  Listen, it's, it's a long road. That's like saying-
11. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah.
12. BCBryan Callen
  ... um, you're running a marathon, "Hey, you know, he beat me in the marathon, but for the first 100 yards-"
13. JRJoe Rogan
  (laughs)
14. BCBryan Callen
  "... I was way ahead."
15. JRJoe Rogan
  I know.
16. BCBryan Callen
  That's what it's like saying.
17. JRJoe Rogan
  It doesn't matter.
18. BCBryan Callen
  'Cause it doesn't matter.
19. JRJoe Rogan
  It doesn't matter.
20. BCBryan Callen
  If this is a five-round fight, like, "Okay-"
21. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah.
22. BCBryan Callen
  "... he keeping me from grabbing my hands for now."
23. JRJoe Rogan
  Right.
24. BCBryan Callen
  "Are your, are your hands tired yet?" Yeah. "How are your forearms? How's your shoulders?"
25. JRJoe Rogan
  "No, I'm gonna take you do- I'm taking you down."
26. BCBryan Callen
  Yeah. He's just gonna keep going.
27. JRJoe Rogan
  "He's gonna take you down."
28. BCBryan Callen
  That guy is so relentless. And the skill level and the endurance level he has to pursue that pace-
29. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah.
30. BCBryan Callen
  ... for five rounds, like, I don't think I even appreciate it. I mean, I can ile- intellectualize it and I could describe it, but I think when you're in there with him, like when, when he fought Edson Barboza and he had Edson Barboza up against the cage-
43:16 – 48:05
Extinction and fragility: asteroid heatstorms, supervolcanoes, and disease wiping civilizations
1. BCBryan Callen
  Oh, so going back to this asteroid impact, um-
2. JRJoe Rogan
  Oh, sorry.
3. BCBryan Callen
  There's a layer somewhere around 66 million years ago that indicates that the earth got hit by an asteroid.
4. JRJoe Rogan
  That's what I mean. Didn't I say that?
5. BCBryan Callen
  That's what it is. Yeah. I think it's... the layer is high in iridium, I think, and iridium has, uh... it's very rare on Earth, but very common in space. And, uh, there's a bunch of other indications that that's the time that it hit, but what they're saying on the Radiolab one is that the current state of understanding is that the dinosaurs and p- basically most things died within the first couple of hours. Like all the dinosaurs. Yeah. They, they were all dead.
6. JRJoe Rogan
  And, and apparently their, their bones or their fossils are in that iridium layer a lot of times, right?
7. BCBryan Callen
  Mm, I don't know. Maybe.
8. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah, they found a lot of...
9. BCBryan Callen
  They find them before too, right? They don't...
10. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah.
11. BCBryan Callen
  They just don't find any after.
12. JRJoe Rogan
  It's crazy.
13. BCBryan Callen
  And they think... yeah. They think that their blood boiled in their body. They think it got so hot-
14. JRJoe Rogan
  Fuck.
15. BCBryan Callen
  ... that during the few hours it got to like 700, 1,000 degrees, 1,200 degrees. It just got insanely hot. It was raining glass.
16. JRJoe Rogan
  Dude was trying to get better at standup and stay in shape, now I gotta worry about fucking... that's a full-time job.
17. BCBryan Callen
  Like-
18. JRJoe Rogan
  Raise my kids.
19. BCBryan Callen
  That's what we really should be thinking about. Not just how bad we're fucking the earth up, but how bad something could fuck the earth up from the sky.
20. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah.
21. BCBryan Callen
  That's what we really should be paying attention to. Instead of paying attention to so many nonsensical things that people concentrate on, there's a real chance that we could get hit in our lifetime with something that ends civilization. Like that-
22. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah.
23. BCBryan Callen
  ... 100% can happen.
24. JRJoe Rogan
  Yep.
25. BCBryan Callen
  Yeah. I had Graham Hancock on last week and we were going over his new book. This book, um, where is it? Isn't it right here, Jimmy? It's right there. It's fucking op- it's excellent. And Graham was talking about-
26. JRJoe Rogan
  It's a giant book.
27. BCBryan Callen
  It's called, uh, America Before. It's the evidence of, um, civilizations in, in the Americas, in North Americas, particularly in the Amazon. That, that they think that there was millions of people living in the Amazon, but when the European explorers came over here, they gave them smallpox and wiped out-
28. JRJoe Rogan
  Wow.
29. BCBryan Callen
  ... everyone.
30. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah.
48:05 – 57:53
From freak survival photos to lobotomies, ‘Range,’ and chaotic cultural detours
1. NANarrator
  I just ran across this too on the screen.
2. BCBryan Callen
  Hmm.
3. NANarrator
  On Twitter.
4. BCBryan Callen
  What happened to that dude's head?
5. NANarrator
  Yeah, man. You can... it- it says that-
6. BCBryan Callen
  Oh my God.
7. NANarrator
  Yeah.
8. BCBryan Callen
  Have an affair with a woman and her husband came home early. Tried to escape through the window, but ended up falling on a metal beam. Oh.
9. NANarrator
  Yeah, man.
10. BCBryan Callen
  Oh my God. It went through his head. How'd they get the beam off? Did they have to saw the beam off?
11. NANarrator
  Yeah, probably, yeah.
12. BCBryan Callen
  Holy shit, bro.
13. NANarrator
  I- I- I just saw the picture and was like, "What the fuck is that?" And then...
14. BCBryan Callen
  Holy shit.
15. NANarrator
  He's trying to find an ambulance.
16. BCBryan Callen
  Oh my God.
17. NANarrator
  He's alive.
18. BCBryan Callen
  Yeah.
19. NANarrator
  (laughs) And then there's just pictures of this happening in the past too.
20. BCBryan Callen
  Jesus Christ, that guy had one eye because of it.
21. NANarrator
  Yeah.
22. BCBryan Callen
  Oh my God. It went through his head.
23. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah, it's weird what, what people's... How people survive from injuries. That's what... Basically, a lobotomy, yeah. When Zeph's hair's- Like- Yeah. ... when they stopped doing those, I- I'm- Mm-hmm. We haven't really talked about too much, but I remember looking it up. They just would dig a hole right through your eye and scramble your brain with a metal- (sighs) ... piece of metal. Ugh. And they did that because you were just too annoying? I don't... Yeah, I don't know why. Like, the people were crazy. They would just do it. They would... We're doing them up until like 19... In the 1900s, I know. I don't know if it stopped, like the '50s or '40s, the exact time, but... What do you think they're doing now, besides circumcision, that people are gonna look back on, like that, and go, "What the fuck were they thinking?" What do you think they're doing now? Um, I don't know. It's just we keep learning different strategies to fix stuff. Yeah, that's true. But this- But- The... But the lobotomy is not even a strategy to fix stuff. It's like chaos. You just s- It worked though, in some cases. Did it? It must have. Did it? Had to have. But maybe it stopped them from being super violent or something. Uh, c- controlling people would probably be enough. Just bullets. I don't know. Yeah. Bullets. (laughs) I mean, I don't know. Why do they give someone a lobotomy? (coughs) Like, what is the, what's the chief reason for giving someone a lobotomy? What would you guess? Psychosis? Yeah, crazy stuff. Yeah, that they didn't have an answer probably for pharmaceuticals back then, so they just said, "Just fucking scramble the brain somehow." Okay. It's fucked up to me that it's still... Your brain would still work. It's a neurological treatment of a mental disorder that involves severing the connections between the brain's prefrontal cortex... You made it too big. What, lobotomy? Yeah. Oh, sorry. I... You were over here. Um- Uh, lobotomy? ... prefrontal cor- mo- most of the connections to and from the prefrontal cortex and the anterior part of the frontal lobes of the brain are severed. What did they do that for, Brian? Um, because when you had a personality that was... When you were crazy, they would take out the part of your brain, I guess, that was, um, reactive- Look at that. ... and that gave you essentially a personality. So, when you were lobotomized, you were really- Oh. ... kind of a normal person. Have you ever seen the movie Frances? They gave her a lobotomy. Wow, look at this kid. Because she went crazy. They, they lobotomized a little kid. Yeah, right. It's her eyes. That's a lot of people. They did it to a little kid? Yeah, horrifying. Why'd they do it to that little kid? They scramble your brain. Terrible. Oh, my God. Remember... If I remember right, there was one guy, he was doing up to like 70 a day or something like that. (sighs) That's like three an hour. Oh, my God. Yeah, that's what they would do. Like, all day long. I think lobotomy- Oh, my God. ... would help you, they'd say. You know, I'm reading, uh, uh, that, this guy David Epstein. Look at that. Oh. (laughs) Holy shit. But there were people who, you know, they had electric shock therapy and they were, they were crazy and they would try all these things. Uh. Had atonic schizophrenia she says she has. Yeah. Just look at her smiling 16 months later. Um. They would try these things. So, before and after? Yeah. Like 16... So it worked? Yeah. The lobotomy worked. She was just smiling everywhere. Yeah. But she would smile if she saw a baby get run over by a car. (laughs) She would smile if she saw- Yeah. ... a house catch on fire. Yeah. Jesus Christ. I'm reading this book on, uh, br- the brain, sort of. Like, um, that guy David Epstein who wrote, um, he wrote, uh, The Sports Gene- Yeah. ... where he found the fastest people in the world, tiny part of Africa, the people that run the farthest, which is the highlands of Kenya. Really fascinating book. He's a Sports Illustrated writer. And then he, he... There's a new book coming out called Range, and, uh, it's about how when you teach a kid or when you, when you learn a lot of different disciplines... So, if you're... Some of the best violinists, some of the best athletes, whatever, they didn't specialize. It's very r- it's, it's, it's probably a bad idea to specialize from a very early age, with the exception is, like Tiger Woods, he compares Tiger Woods and Roger Federer. Tiger Woods was raised to be a golfer from the age of two. His dad was already having him... He was watching, having him watch how he swings and everything. And Roger Federer, greatest tennis player ever, was playing, into music, playing soccer, playing anything with a ball, and didn't really get into tennis, didn't really find his love of tennis until he was in his teens. And a lot of musicians, great musicians who are innovative, so whether it's Duke Ellington or whatever, the, the great ones who make original music, a lot of them are self-taught and a lot of them played a lot of instruments until they started to focus on that one instrument that spoke to them. And he uses all these different examples of how, how generalizing (laughs) and doing a lotta different things informs... It essentially informs your ability to become really good at one thing when you finally decide to do that. And it's a really kinda cool book, 'cause a lotta parents are specializing. A lotta parents are like, "You wanna play baseball? That's what we're gonna play. Camp and everything else, we're just gonna practice that." Bad idea. (laughs) Bad idea, according to this, with the exception of very few skills, like golf. But everything else is you wanna really expose your kid to a wide variety of things, because for whatever it does with those that, you know, all the neurons and stuff, you, you are... You're able to get better at something when you're practicing another thing. Well, that makes sense to me. And it also makes sense to me that you'd wanna get your kid exposed to a lotta things to find out what they actually enjoy, 'cause sometimes you enjoy something and you go, "Oh, but I don't enjoy it as much as this," and you find- Right. ... some new thing. And you're like- Yes. ... "That's even better." I'm sure you went through things like that, right? I did, but a lotta parents, like a lot of, uh, he was talking about tiger moms. They'll ch- they'll say, "You have a choice, b-... You're playing the violin and you're playing the piano, and you're not playing any other instrument. We're gonna get better at that." Oh, those people are crazy. Yeah, well the problem is, it doesn't... It stifles innovation. It... You, you become really pedantic and good at following instructions, but you're not gonna be very innovative. You'll be really technically good, but it tends to- You also wanna be naughty and you wind up doing weird shit. Exactly. Like Yo-Yo Ma was- Like paying people to pee on you. He would try... He tried a bunch of different instruments until he finally said, "I'm gonna play this." Yeah, you wanna be naughty. You wanna fight it. Yeah, you wanna fight Mommy. You wanna- Yeah. And you probably have some weird mommy porn- Uh-huh. ... in your, um, bookmarks. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. There's amazing amounts of stepmom porn. Really? It's all stepmoms. Well, Pornhub... It's like, "Your-" Mom- ... "Your father's gonna be so mad at you." (laughs) Glug, glug, glug. (laughs) Well, Mom, mom or a derivative of mom is, I think, the second...... most typed in word in, uh, Pornhub, in their-
24. BCBryan Callen
  What's number one, sister?
25. JRJoe Rogan
  ... in their giant server. Youth, young-
26. BCBryan Callen
  A lot of sister porn too.
27. JRJoe Rogan
  ... tits, something to, saw, something to do with young.
28. BCBryan Callen
  Yeah.
29. JRJoe Rogan
  But, but mom is another thing. Granny porn is huge in-
30. BCBryan Callen
  Oof.
57:53 – 1:12:18
Jung and Nietzsche: trauma loops, therapy, ‘live dangerously,’ and the case for moral myths
1. JRJoe Rogan
  I don't know, trauma? You know that Carl Jung, is it the Carl Jung, uh, fucking, uh, st- uh, line that says, "That which we don't work out in our subconscious, we will act out as fate in our lives."
2. BCBryan Callen
  Oof.
3. JRJoe Rogan
  How about that?
4. BCBryan Callen
  (sighs)
5. JRJoe Rogan
  Because you will relive patterns, you'll relive trauma.
6. BCBryan Callen
  Mm-hmm.
7. JRJoe Rogan
  You will relive these patterns.
8. BCBryan Callen
  Yeah.
9. JRJoe Rogan
  And you'll do it on your own terms and you'll wonder why you keep fa- why do you keep dating the same person? Why do you keep falling into the same problem? Why after two years does this go bad? What, what is that? Well, there's a way to actually creatively f- at least sit with that and observe it and s- and be aware of it. That's what therapy does.
10. BCBryan Callen
  Yeah. Who gives?
11. JRJoe Rogan
  "You make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate."
12. BCBryan Callen
  What a great quote.
13. JRJoe Rogan
  Wow.
14. BCBryan Callen
  "Until you make the unconscious conscious." Yeah, I mean, there's a lot of fucking strings pulling on you from the back of your brain.
15. JRJoe Rogan
  "It will direct your life and you will call it fate."
16. BCBryan Callen
  "Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darkness of other people."
17. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah.
18. BCBryan Callen
  Ooh.
19. JRJoe Rogan
  Well, that's what Nietzsche, that's why I like Nietzsche. Nietzsche's, Nietzsche's idea was like, look, man, you can have these false models of life which is a lot of times, life is a bitch, right? And you're not gonna, you're not gonna be able to compete or you don't want it, so what you'll do is you'll go, "It's okay, meek will inherit the Earth. That's all right, I'll, uh, uh, you have money, but is he happy? Is he happy?" You know, there's a lot... We- we make all of us do this. We make excuses to not live our best life. And he was like, "Nah, live dangerously and, uh, try to be the best you can be. Just work your ass off and if you have to die, if you have to take risks and die, leave a good-looking corpse." It's the idea of turn your life into a fucking circus.
20. BCBryan Callen
  Do you think the meek will inher- inherit the Earth? Do you think if that was a prophecy that they would be talking about technologists, they would be talking about like the people that run Twitter and Google and Facebook and, and the internet tech people? Which is, if you think about like the amount of money that Facebook has, the amount of money-
21. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah.
22. BCBryan Callen
  ... that YouTube has, so like these, these enormously influential tech companies.
23. JRJoe Rogan
  Mm-hmm.
24. BCBryan Callen
  Even Amazon, right?
25. JRJoe Rogan
  Yeah.
26. BCBryan Callen
  Like, who, who are they? Who are they? These are nerds.
27. JRJoe Rogan
  They're nerds-
28. BCBryan Callen
  They're super nerds.
29. JRJoe Rogan
  ... but they're very aggressive nerds and they're very thoughtful-
30. BCBryan Callen
  Yeah.

Episode duration: 1:44:33

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Radiolab’s dinosaur-killer asteroid and Rogan’s “moron’s version” of geology

Flat Earth, dinosaur denial, and why people trust iPhones but not satellites

Bigfoot origins, Gigantopithecus, and the ‘gorilla would sound fake’ argument

Chimpanzees: territorial warfare, ‘lion killer’ chimps, and why they terrify humans

The Congo’s reality: danger, disease, and Justin Wren’s ‘Fight for the Forgotten’ wells

Rainforest intensity and mosquito warfare: sulfur coils, Thermacells, Alaska bites

Nature isn’t gentle: elephants, crop destruction, and conservation through hunting

LA’s mountain lions and the hidden cost of rat poison (P-47)

‘I have a special connection with animals’: intuition talk and the Megan Fox lesson

Paulie Malignaggi encounter, bare-knuckle drama, and promotion ethics

Solving elite fighter ‘riddles’: Crawford/Loma comparisons to Khabib’s pressure—and CTE fears

Extinction and fragility: asteroid heatstorms, supervolcanoes, and disease wiping civilizations

From freak survival photos to lobotomies, ‘Range,’ and chaotic cultural detours

Jung and Nietzsche: trauma loops, therapy, ‘live dangerously,’ and the case for moral myths

Get more out of YouTube videos.