Joe Rogan Experience #1298 - Neal Brennan

Neal Brennan 0:01 Let me sign my waiver.

Joe Rogan 0:03 Sign the waiver, dude, bre-

Neal Brennan 0:04 Before I ...

Joe Rogan 0:05 We're live.

Neal Brennan 0:06 Great.

Joe Rogan 0:06 While you sign that sound?

Neal Brennan 0:07 Great, I'm glad that people are seeing me-

Joe Rogan 0:09 As Neal Brennan, sign there.

Neal Brennan 0:10 ... as witne- ... Everyone will be a notary, notary public.

Joe Rogan 0:13 I wonder if they can li- ... If there's, uh, software that can listen to the sound your pen is making and figure out the lines you're drawing. You know, they have, um, technology now where when people are speaking in a room with a w- with a window, that it c-

Neal Brennan 0:28 That they can get rid of the window noise?

Joe Rogan 0:29 They can ... No, they can tune into the vibrations of the window from the sound of your voice and pick up everything that's being said in the room.

Neal Brennan 0:38 I heard that there's a Netfl- ... You ... Because before ... I mean-

Joe Rogan 0:43 (laughs)

Neal Brennan 0:43 ... Netflix doesn't give people ratings, but there's a way that they're ... You can get s- ... They can gauge reflections off of wi- ... Some weird fuckin' technology where ... And it's fairly accurate.

Joe Rogan 0:58 Reflections off of windows?

Neal Brennan 0:59 Ref- ... Yes, I don't ... Someone ... It ... This is secondhand, yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:02 In, like, cities or something?

Neal Brennan 1:02 Like, secondhand. Not ... And it's, like, s- ... I believe it's sound waves.

Joe Rogan 1:05 Hmm.

Neal Brennan 1:06 Um ...

Joe Rogan 1:07 Oh, wow.

Neal Brennan 1:08 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:08 How the ... What are they monitoring? Jamie's got something.

Neal Brennan 1:10 I have no idea. Jamie, what do you got, Jamie?

Jamie Vernon 1:11 We can buy this right now if you want.

Neal Brennan 1:12 Jamie?

Joe Rogan 1:13 Long-range laser listening device.

Neal Brennan 1:15 (laughs)

Jamie Vernon 1:16 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:16 The long-range laser listening device laser microscope is a highly sophisticated surveillance apparatus that utilizes an invisible infrared laser beam to eavesdrop on a target.

Neal Brennan 1:26 (gasps) .

Joe Rogan 1:27 It is the most effective long-range laser listening device in the world that allows the operator to conduct an undetectable surveillance operation on any targeted room.

Neal Brennan 1:35 From Tony Stark Industries.

Jamie Vernon 1:37 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:37 With at least one window at an impressive distance of over 500 meters. That is actually very impressive.

Neal Brennan 1:44 That's far.

Joe Rogan 1:44 That's far as shit, with a laser beam.

Neal Brennan 1:48 Fuck.

Joe Rogan 1:49 And you can just buy that?

Jamie Vernon 1:50 Was about to say, that's commercially available, and I wonder what is not commercially available-

Joe Rogan 1:53 Oh, for sure.

Jamie Vernon 1:54 ... that is out there.

Neal Brennan 1:55 Right. Like, you remember when there was that story about, uh, some weird sound weapon they think that the Cubans were using on-

Joe Rogan 2:01 Yeah.

Jamie Vernon 2:01 Yeah, Americans that were-

Neal Brennan 2:02 Yeah.

Jamie Vernon 2:02 ... in Cuba? There's probably a bunch of shit like that. I r- ... I was reading an article. They can list ... Uh, like submarines have technology they can listen to basically, like, fish farting in the ocean if they, if they wanted to. They can hear sounds that quiet. They can hear anything.

Joe Rogan 2:15 Oh.

Jamie Vernon 2:15 So if a f- ... Like, literally if a fish farts, they're like, "Oh, what was that? What was that? Was that a sub? Nope, that was a fish."

Neal Brennan 2:20 (laughs)

Jamie Vernon 2:20 Next.

Joe Rogan 2:21 Wow.

Jamie Vernon 2:21 Like, what was the next sound? Yeah.

Neal Brennan 2:22 Good for us.

Joe Rogan 2:24 (sighs) I guess.

Neal Brennan 2:24 Or something.

Joe Rogan 2:25 I guess.

Neal Brennan 2:25 Good for somebody.

Joe Rogan 2:27 Good for us, I guess. Uh, yeah.

Neal Brennan 2:29 Yeah, the sound thing was funny 'cause it was like people would get sick.

Joe Rogan 2:33 Yeah.

Neal Brennan 2:33 And they couldn't ... And then, uh, there was also ... They did it in China too. There were, like ... They ... At, uh, American civil, like, n- n- engi- ... Like, non-government or, like, kinda worked for the government tangentially.

Joe Rogan 2:45 Mm-hmm.

Neal Brennan 2:45 Or they worked at the embassy. Their apartments were above each other, two separate people, and both of them ... It was on 60 Minutes, like, not long ago. Like, s-

Joe Rogan 2:51 So they targeted the rooms?

Neal Brennan 2:53 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 2:54 It's like a dog whistle for people.

Neal Brennan 2:56 It ... Yes, in essence.

Joe Rogan 2:58 Mm-hmm.

Neal Brennan 2:58 And it's like, "Well, what do you want me to do?" I guess you just leave. I guess it is like a dog whistle, where it's just like-

Joe Rogan 3:03 Yeah, they just want you to feel like shit.

Neal Brennan 3:04 ... disperse. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 3:05 Get the fuck outta here. Ugh. Yeah, there's probably a ton of technology like that, that we're not aware of. My friend Mike Swick used to fight in the UFC, and before that, uh, th- ... He did a brif- ... Brief spent, uh, stint, rather, um, (smacks lips) in the military. (clears throat) He was doing something, some sort of a ... It was either Secret Service work or something along those lines. But anyway, he was at the embassy in Russia, and he said that they had found listening devices that were so sophisticated that they were being powered by the natural sway of the building-

Neal Brennan 3:38 Wow.

Joe Rogan 3:38 ... with the wind. So the wind ... They, they didn't need a power source. The natural swaying of the building in the wind was powering up this little microphone that was listening in on things. And he said they were loo- ... They were looking at this stuff, and they're like, "We don't know anything like this." Like, "This is-"

Neal Brennan 3:55 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 3:55 "... completely new stuff, and we found it-"

Neal Brennan 3:58 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 3:58 "... in this building."

Neal Brennan 4:00 I like ... (laughs) I mean, I don't love it, but it's, like-

Joe Rogan 4:02 It's kinda cool.

Neal Brennan 4:02 ... it's cool.

Joe Rogan 4:03 Yeah.

Neal Brennan 4:03 Like, I just don't kill me or us.

Joe Rogan 4:07 Mm-hmm.

Neal Brennan 4:07 You know what I mean? Like-

Joe Rogan 4:08 Yeah.

Neal Brennan 4:08 ... the hope is we just bo- ... Would they have their thing and we have ... And it's just, like, mutually assured destruction, like a arms race of technology.

Joe Rogan 4:15 Yeah.

Neal Brennan 4:15 'Cause that's what's gonna happen. The ama- ... Do you use the cloud?

Joe Rogan 4:19 Yes.

Neal Brennan 4:20 I- ... (sighs)

Joe Rogan 4:21 I know, yeah.

Neal Brennan 4:22 Like, ah-

Joe Rogan 4:23 I don't use it for important stuff.

Neal Brennan 4:24 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 4:24 But I use it for, like, my apps.

Neal Brennan 4:27 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 4:27 You know, my apps are backed up in the cloud. Recordings are backed up in the cloud, sets, sets that I'm doing.

Neal Brennan 4:32 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 4:32 Notes, notes are backed up.

Neal Brennan 4:32 But there's, like, photos or video. It's just a bit like-

Joe Rogan 4:35 Not much.

Neal Brennan 4:35 I don't know, man.

Joe Rogan 4:36 Yeah.

Jamie Vernon 4:36 It gets fucking crazy.

Joe Rogan 4:38 I mean, we're, we're, we're getting now into some very strange place with the cloud, with stuff being just-

Neal Brennan 4:43 Yes.

Joe Rogan 4:44 ... in the air and p-

Neal Brennan 4:44 And the amount of trust-

Joe Rogan 4:46 Mm-hmm.

Neal Brennan 4:46 ... it takes, uh, the presumption that we'll just never run out of energy.

Joe Rogan 4:52 Mm-hmm.

Neal Brennan 4:52 And we'll never run out of the ability to tap into the cloud. It's like, I don't ... That seems presumptiona- ... I- ... I'm not even, like a doomsday person, but I just feel like it's like the difference between h- how men dress in public and how women dr- ... Like, on a night out, women are wearing heels and guys are dressed in case they have to fight.

Jamie Vernon 5:09 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 5:10 (laughs)

Neal Brennan 5:10 I'm still ... Like, we will do the thing in the mirror where we're like, "Ah!"

Jamie Vernon 5:13 Yeah.

Neal Brennan 5:13 "I'll fucking ... (laughs) I'll fuck you up." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 5:15 (laughs)

Jamie Vernon 5:15 (laughs)

Neal Brennan 5:16 And, like, that's how I feel with technology, where I'm like-

Jamie Vernon 5:19 Mm-hmm.

Neal Brennan 5:19 ... what ... Do I have a backup plan for this? Even people with, like, wifi door locks, I'm like, "I don't know, man."

Joe Rogan 5:26 I don't know, man.

Neal Brennan 5:26 I don't know.

Joe Rogan 5:27 Not good. If the wifi goes out, what are you gonna do?

Neal Brennan 5:29 Yeah, like, please be care- ... I don't, I don't know what the n- what the negative scenario is. But even my garage at my place in ... I li- live in, like, a townhouse thing, and there was a power outage. The gate won't open. And, like, okay?

Joe Rogan 5:47 There's no r- there's no release?

Neal Brennan 5:48 There was a fail- ... There was a release, uh, that somebody, uh, a better person than I figured out. (laughs) You know what I mean? Like, I would just, like ...

Jamie Vernon 5:58 (laughs)

Neal Brennan 5:58 Like, "Muh, I can't come." What, like, a little Uber?

Jamie Vernon 6:01 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 6:01 (laughs)

Neal Brennan 6:01 I didn't have a fucking plan. But someone figured out, like-

Jamie Vernon 6:04 (laughs)

Neal Brennan 6:04 ... you open a hatch, and then there's a chain, and you gotta pull the chain.

Joe Rogan 6:07 Oh.

Neal Brennan 6:07 And it was like, okay. But it wasn't, uh ... It wasn't-

Joe Rogan 6:11 Obvious.

Neal Brennan 6:11 ... easy.

Joe Rogan 6:12 Right.

Neal Brennan 6:13 ... like, I, you know, it's the doomsday thing. It's like, uh.

Joe Rogan 6:16 Well, um, this guy, Graham Hancock.

Neal Brennan 6:19 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 6:19 This guy's been on my show several times, and he was just on recently. And he's one of the main proponents of this theory that something somewhere around 12,800 years ago hit the Earth and fucked up everything, and probably reset civilization, killed off the vast majority of us.

Neal Brennan 6:34 12,000 years ago.

Joe Rogan 6:35 12,800 years-

Neal Brennan 6:35 That's not that long ago.

Joe Rogan 6:36 Not, not that-

Neal Brennan 6:37 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 6:37 ... long ago at all.

Neal Brennan 6:38 No.

Joe Rogan 6:38 It corresponds with the end of the Ice Age. There's a lot of physical evidence for it. And increasingly, we're seeing, um, more and more evidence in terms of, um, ancient cultures that existed far before tw-, uh, 12,800 years ago that they really didn't understand. That, they thought people were just hunter-gatherers back then, and now they're finding evidence of things like ... There's a place called Göbekli Tepe, which is a giant ... These huge m- monolithic structures that are made out of stone, carved, and like huge columns-

Neal Brennan 7:04 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 7:04 ... yeah, that, that don't seem like they were made by hunter-gatherers. It seems like there was probably some sort of a lost civilization. And they know that this all happened somewhere around that time, somewhere around 12,000 years ago. So, um, it can happen again. And if it does happen again, all our stuff is on digital now, which is even weirder. It's, it's weirder than books, right? We have books, but the vast majority of most of the data that we all keep and share, we share on phones and on computers.

Neal Brennan 7:32 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 7:32 And we can't read it. We can't read it without com- programs.

Neal Brennan 7:35 I don't know the first-

Joe Rogan 7:35 Without software.

Neal Brennan 7:36 ... thing about com- Um, do you know what I mean?

Joe Rogan 7:38 Yeah.

Neal Brennan 7:38 Like, I don't know anything about ... I was, I was talking last night, like, I don't know much about my, the different- the, uh, the level of education women have about their reproductive organs versus men.

Joe Rogan 7:51 Oh, yeah.

Neal Brennan 7:51 Like, my, my balls, I know about my balls. (laughs) I know that the medical term is testicles.

Joe Rogan 7:58 Hmm. Testes.

Neal Brennan 7:59 That's about it, Joe.

Joe Rogan 8:00 You don't get them hot.

Neal Brennan 8:01 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 8:01 If you get them hot, it's bad.

Neal Brennan 8:02 Yeah. Again, that's like, that's like a child's (laughs) -

Joe Rogan 8:06 Yeah.

Neal Brennan 8:06 Do you know what I mean? (laughs)

Joe Rogan 8:07 Yeah.

Neal Brennan 8:07 Like, it's not a thing. And you only know that from like, "Oh, 'cause I got them hot one time."

Joe Rogan 8:11 Right.

Neal Brennan 8:11 But I don't know how semen gets to the, uh, the ... I don't know the name of the two. I don't know-

Joe Rogan 8:18 Right.

Neal Brennan 8:18 ... anything.

Joe Rogan 8:19 Girls have to be on the ball.

Neal Brennan 8:19 And that's my body.

Joe Rogan 8:21 Right.

Neal Brennan 8:22 Women know tons. They know falloping tubes, v- vulva, cervix, like everything. Um ...

Joe Rogan 8:28 Yeah, guys know prostate cancer. Oh, what? I can't-

Neal Brennan 8:31 My, my asshole?

Joe Rogan 8:32 Oh. Oh?

Neal Brennan 8:33 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 8:33 Cancer? Oh.

Neal Brennan 8:34 And not curious. I mean, like not, like curious in a way of like, ah, let's just hope, just hope for the ... It's just none of my business.

Joe Rogan 8:42 Yeah. Plus, to get checked out, you have to have a finger in your ass, and everybody puts that off.

Neal Brennan 8:46 Yeah. Now, meanwhile, women do that once a year. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 8:49 Constantly.

Neal Brennan 8:50 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 8:50 They're always getting jabbed at and swabbed.

Neal Brennan 8:52 Swabbed. Yeah, they get the pap smear.

Joe Rogan 8:54 Get a ... Man. Oof.

Neal Brennan 8:54 A smear. Smear is the end of the title.

Joe Rogan 8:56 Yeah. Oof.

Neal Brennan 8:56 Ugh.

Joe Rogan 8:57 Oof.

Neal Brennan 8:57 Jesus.

Joe Rogan 8:58 Just every- im- imagine if you needed people to come inside you. You needed them to not just, not just exchange bodily fluids f- by kissing. No, they have to squirt something in you to make people.

Neal Brennan 9:12 Yeah. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 9:13 Just have to squirt-

Neal Brennan 9:13 It's an odd ...

Joe Rogan 9:14 ... their poisonous little dirty DNA, their dirty little s- fucking infected-

Neal Brennan 9:22 It's awfully gross. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 9:24 (laughs)

Neal Brennan 9:25 When you (laughs) , when you get like 10 feet away from it, you're like, "Jesus-"

Joe Rogan 9:28 Yeah.

Neal Brennan 9:28 "... I don't know what they're doing."

Joe Rogan 9:30 But while you're in the moment, it seems like the thing to do.

Neal Brennan 9:31 It's the most logical. You gotta do it.

Joe Rogan 9:33 Yeah. Yeah.

Neal Brennan 9:33 Can't not do it.

Joe Rogan 9:34 Yeah.

Neal Brennan 9:35 Did you, uh, speaking of that, uh, did you see the thing about Gerard?

Joe Rogan 9:39 No.

Neal Brennan 9:40 The, I don't, if, if you wanna bring it up.

Joe Rogan 9:42 What?

Neal Brennan 9:42 But he basically came out a little on HBO.

Joe Rogan 9:47 Came out a little.

Neal Brennan 9:47 Came out a little to his mom, said, "I've had, uh, sexual experiences with men."

Joe Rogan 9:52 Uh-oh.

Neal Brennan 9:53 Um, and, uh, it's, uh, it's just like, all right. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 9:57 Was she cool with it?

Neal Brennan 9:58 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 9:58 Well, that's good.

Neal Brennan 9:58 She was cool with it.

Joe Rogan 9:59 All right. Well, there you go.

Neal Brennan 9:59 Yeah. That, that's the thing. It ... When I ... People are like, "What do you think?" I'm like, "I don't ..."

Joe Rogan 10:03 (coughs)

Neal Brennan 10:03 That ... Sexual preference at this point to me is about as interesting as like your workout regimen. Like, I just don't care.

Joe Rogan 10:09 Yeah.

Neal Brennan 10:09 Like, what are you doing? There you go. Cool.

Joe Rogan 10:10 You know what I care about? Are you funny?

Neal Brennan 10:12 Are you funny and are you cool?

Joe Rogan 10:13 Yeah. Cool. Perfect, perfect.

Neal Brennan 10:13 And, and like do we have shit to talk about?

Joe Rogan 10:16 Right.

Neal Brennan 10:16 Great.

Joe Rogan 10:17 Yeah.

Neal Brennan 10:17 Uh, I don't, I couldn't care less whose, what type of hand you like jerking off. You know what I mean? Like-

Joe Rogan 10:23 I think it's an advantage-

Neal Brennan 10:23 ... what kind of mouth.

Joe Rogan 10:25 ... with some guys with ... Like Tim Dillon, I think it's an advantage with his act that he's gay.

Neal Brennan 10:29 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 10:29 'Cause he's so ridiculous and over the top, and he's this, this like big fat gay guy. (laughs)

Neal Brennan 10:33 Yeah. But, uh, he doesn't really talk ... Does he talk about it very much?

Joe Rogan 10:36 He'll talk about it sometimes.

Neal Brennan 10:37 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 10:37 But, I mean, he does ... It's not a big deal to him. He treats it the way a guy treats his sexuality. Like, you don't have to go blaring through the streets that you're straight all the time.

Neal Brennan 10:44 Right.

Joe Rogan 10:44 If you are, I usually assume you're really not.

Neal Brennan 10:47 Right.

Joe Rogan 10:47 Right?

Neal Brennan 10:47 Like, there's no ... yeah.

Joe Rogan 10:49 Yeah.

Neal Brennan 10:49 There's-

Joe Rogan 10:49 If you're straight, you're straight.

Neal Brennan 10:50 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 10:50 If you're not, no one fucking cares. In the comedy community, literally no one cares.

Neal Brennan 10:55 Yeah. Doesn't, it makes no difference. There's-

Joe Rogan 10:56 The only thing that bums me out is when guys hide it. It's like, come on.

Neal Brennan 11:00 Does it bum you out for them or you?

Joe Rogan 11:02 Yes. For them.

Neal Brennan 11:03 Yeah. It really bums ... But having said that, I get it.

Joe Rogan 11:06 I get it. I get it.

Neal Brennan 11:06 Like, uh, it's a real bummer. It's sad. We know-

Joe Rogan 11:10 Yep.

Neal Brennan 11:10 ... a, a few guys that are in the closet.

Joe Rogan 11:12 Yep.

Neal Brennan 11:12 It's, you just feel bad for them. Like-

Joe Rogan 11:14 Exactly.

Neal Brennan 11:14 Like, yeah, man. I hope it's not unbearable.

Joe Rogan 11:18 Right.

Neal Brennan 11:18 You know what I mean? Like-

Joe Rogan 11:19 Yeah.

Neal Brennan 11:19 Like, I, I get while you're, why you're in the closet. I get why actors are in the closet, like especially male actors, like 'cause it doesn't serve them to come out. It's not gonna, it's not gonna help them.

Joe Rogan 11:30 I think it's the worst thing for them in terms of like getting roles as a heterosexual.

Neal Brennan 11:35 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 11:35 If you're a known homosexual-

Neal Brennan 11:37 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 11:37 ... you almost can't get roles as a heterosexual.

Neal Brennan 11:39 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 11:40 I can remember there was some ... (laughs) Who was the ... What is that guy's name? Neil Patrick Harris?

Neal Brennan 11:44 Neil Patrick Harris, yeah.

Joe Rogan 11:45 He was in something where he p- played like this arrogant guy who likes girls.

Neal Brennan 11:49 He was in, uh ...

Joe Rogan 11:50 What was it, a show?

Neal Brennan 11:51 Uh, uh, no. Well, well, no, he e- No, he was on t- uh, How I Met Your Mother. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 11:56 Yes.

Neal Brennan 11:56 And that worked. He also played a straight guy in, uh, Gone Girl pretty well.

Joe Rogan 12:02 Yeah. Was that before or after he came out?

Neal Brennan 12:04 It was aft- they both been after.

Joe Rogan 12:06 Really? Interesting.

Neal Brennan 12:06 And I was all- 'Cause I s- I was surprised that that's what he played, but like-

Joe Rogan 12:10 Hmm.

Neal Brennan 12:10 certain people, they just ... I don't know. He put-

Joe Rogan 12:12 He might be the only guy that could do it.

Neal Brennan 12:14 I agree that like he came out and ...

Joe Rogan 12:16 Yeah.

Neal Brennan 12:17 ... it's not, and he's, he... You buy it, somehow.

Joe Rogan 12:20 Right. As a romantic lead, you think that it's, like, it cancels that out? Like, if Tom Cruise decided to come out. If Tom Cruise is gay and he decided to come out, like, that would be a real problem in terms of-

Neal Brennan 12:31 I te- You know what I was talking to somebody about this the other day?

Joe Rogan 12:32 ... the roles.

Neal Brennan 12:32 You know what would be a hilarious movie idea? A gay couple, T- Tom Cruise and, uh-

Joe Rogan 12:40 John Travolta.

Neal Brennan 12:41 ... John Travolta. John Travolta gets kidnapped-

Joe Rogan 12:43 (gasps)

Neal Brennan 12:43 ... and gay Tom Cruise has to save his gay husband, John Travolta. And, but other than that, it's a real action movie.

Joe Rogan 12:51 Wow.

Neal Brennan 12:51 It's just gay. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 12:53 I like it.

Neal Brennan 12:53 It... Wouldn't that be fucking cool?

Joe Rogan 12:54 I like it.

Neal Brennan 12:55 Like, just a straight ga-... If anyone out there's a screenwriter, th- have at it, 'cause I'm never gonna write it.

Joe Rogan 13:01 Do you think... Would that fly? Would people enjoy that?

Neal Brennan 13:03 I think-

Joe Rogan 13:03 Like, if it was really good, like John Wick style.

Neal Brennan 13:06 I think it would. I really think it would. If it was... If the guy just ki-... It's not like gay guys are, like, effete and offe-... You know, I know plenty of, like, rough gay guys that'll whoop your ass. Like-

Joe Rogan 13:16 Bears, bro.

Neal Brennan 13:18 Bears, bro. Grr.

Joe Rogan 13:19 (laughs)

Neal Brennan 13:19 They got, (laughs) they got their own growl. Uh, that's how fucking bad these guys are. Uh, but-

Joe Rogan 13:24 Yeah, I think it could work.

Neal Brennan 13:25 ... to really... It would be fucking so cool.

Joe Rogan 13:27 Yeah.

Neal Brennan 13:28 Like, and you just go, "Yeah." 'Cause that's how I feel with someone like Gerard coming out. I'm like, "I don't ca-... Okay."

Joe Rogan 13:33 Yeah.

Neal Brennan 13:33 I don't... It's never come up. We've, we've been good friends for a decade. Just never came up.

Joe Rogan 13:38 Yeah.

Neal Brennan 13:38 Like, it ju-... He didn't seem that interested in women, but I do- also don't think he's not interested. He's just maybe a little eh.

Joe Rogan 13:44 There's definitely a spectrum, right?

Neal Brennan 13:46 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 13:46 And some people are just uh.

Neal Brennan 13:48 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 13:48 And that's fine too.

Neal Brennan 13:49 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 13:49 Yeah.

Neal Brennan 13:49 I'm also not ma-... Like, if I were on the spectrum, I think I would absolutely do it.

Joe Rogan 13:54 Yeah.

Neal Brennan 13:54 I'm just not on the spectrum. Like, I... But in terms-

Joe Rogan 13:57 You'd have to.

Neal Brennan 13:57 ... of opportunity, there's a lotta nights a year, Joe.

Joe Rogan 14:01 Oh, yeah.

Neal Brennan 14:01 There's 365 nights a year.

Joe Rogan 14:03 Oh, yeah. You could dick, pussy, dick-

Neal Brennan 14:04 You're not gonna do the-

Joe Rogan 14:05 ... pussy, dick, pussy.

Neal Brennan 14:06 Yeah. Go back and you can go back and forth.

Joe Rogan 14:07 Or split it up.

Neal Brennan 14:07 Same night.

Joe Rogan 14:08 Split it up. Domer had the best joke about that. He goes, he goes, I, he goes... This is how little I give a fuck. He goes, "I wish I was gay just so I could come out."

Neal Brennan 14:18 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 14:18 He goes, "I wish."

Neal Brennan 14:19 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 14:19 "I wish I had a secret like that." (laughs)

Neal Brennan 14:23 (laughs) Yeah, it's not-

Joe Rogan 14:23 He goes, "That's how little I give a fuck."

Neal Brennan 14:25 (gasps) Mm.

Joe Rogan 14:26 It's so true.

Neal Brennan 14:27 It's like his joke about I'm gaining weight for a movie. I don't know what the movie is yet, but (laughs) it's a f- a fucking great joke. Um, yeah, but yeah, a gay action movie would be f- fantastic.

Joe Rogan 14:38 I'd like it.

Neal Brennan 14:38 I do too. I-

Joe Rogan 14:39 I think within a year or two, people would be definitely ready for it.

Neal Brennan 14:43 I i-... If it were a legit good action movie-

Joe Rogan 14:46 Yeah.

Neal Brennan 14:47 ... I think they'd be... If it were Tom Hardy. Even if maybe if they were both, one of them was straight and one of them was Tom Hardy and he just plays gay and-

Joe Rogan 14:54 Mm-hmm.

Neal Brennan 14:54 ... and, like, he... It's, it's taken.

Joe Rogan 14:56 Right.

Neal Brennan 14:57 But-

Joe Rogan 14:57 It doesn't have to be two gay guys. Could be even crazier, two straight guys who have to make out.

Neal Brennan 15:03 Yeah, they could be played by straight guys.

Joe Rogan 15:05 Yeah.

Neal Brennan 15:05 Absolutely. Then we're re-... Now we're talking.

Joe Rogan 15:07 Yeah.

Neal Brennan 15:07 Now we're really talking.

Joe Rogan 15:08 Now you're talking. (laughs) And now you're talking commitment.

Neal Brennan 15:10 Uh, 'cause I was thinking about do wom-... If Tom Cruise was gay, right? Uh, and he just came out, and there's a movie where he has to save his wife-

Joe Rogan 15:18 Mm-hmm.

Neal Brennan 15:19 ... would women not believe it? Do you know what I mean? Like-

Joe Rogan 15:21 Yes.

Neal Brennan 15:22 ... like, so if you come out. So it's like, all right, so now i- in the next Mission Impossible, they just kidnap his husband.

Joe Rogan 15:29 Yeah. Well, for sure you could do that with lesbians, if you had two hot lesbians.

Neal Brennan 15:34 Uh, yeah, of course.

Joe Rogan 15:34 100%.

Neal Brennan 15:35 Yeah. No, there's n- zero issues there.

Joe Rogan 15:37 Yeah, that would be no problem. You'd be-

Neal Brennan 15:40 Uh-

Joe Rogan 15:40 (laughs) There'd be no resistance. And that's the difference between a lesbian actress. They can go. A woman who's a lesbian can play straight, gay-

Neal Brennan 15:46 You know why that is, I believe.

Joe Rogan 15:47 ... gay, straight.

Neal Brennan 15:48 'Cause n-... Uh, there's a big portion of men who never f- truly believe a lesbian.

Joe Rogan 15:53 I have a bit about it.

Neal Brennan 15:55 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 15:55 I had a bit about it from one of my old specials. It's like, "We believe that you believe you're a lesbian."

Neal Brennan 16:00 Yeah. But, uh-

Joe Rogan 16:01 But you just ain't got a piece of this sweet dick yet.

Neal Brennan 16:03 (laughs) You never spent a Saturday with me at fu- at, uh, fucking Applebee's. I hit you with an Applebee's and then a bar, corner bar. Forget it.

Joe Rogan 16:11 Oh. Oh.

Neal Brennan 16:11 The panty dropper.

Joe Rogan 16:12 Tequila shots. What do you got? Oh, Brokeback Mountain.

Neal Brennan 16:16 Yeah.

Jamie Vernon 16:16 That wasn't really an action though. I never saw it.

Neal Brennan 16:17 No, but if it's that-

Joe Rogan 16:18 Well, we know... Do we know for sure-

Jamie Vernon 16:19 And that worked.

Joe Rogan 16:20 ... that both of those guys are not gay? We d- we do not.

Neal Brennan 16:22 We-

Joe Rogan 16:23 We assume-

Neal Brennan 16:24 ... as- I mean, Jake Gyllenhaal is straight and-

Joe Rogan 16:28 You say so.

Neal Brennan 16:29 ... Heath Ledger.

Joe Rogan 16:30 But you saw that movie. How straight could he be?

Neal Brennan 16:31 I mean, come on, man. You saw. He... You believed it.

Joe Rogan 16:34 Come on, bro. Jack Nicholson is-

Neal Brennan 16:34 No one's that good at acting.

Joe Rogan 16:36 ... definitely crazy. There's no way he can play crazy.

Neal Brennan 16:38 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 16:38 That guy is definitely gay. Trust me. I know things.

Neal Brennan 16:42 I've seen many movies and understand them.

Joe Rogan 16:46 I know when someone's acting and someone's just gay.

Neal Brennan 16:50 Yeah, the fucking kid believed it.

Joe Rogan 16:51 Yeah, that was easy for him.

Neal Brennan 16:52 Yeah. No, it would be that, but running around.

Joe Rogan 16:55 Yeah, that could happen. That could... I think that could happen. I think we're on the verge of that. It's nice.

Neal Brennan 16:59 I would enjoy it.

Joe Rogan 17:01 (coughs) I'm, I'm happy for it because then people stop getting free passes where you're goofy but you're gay, so we let you slide with silly behavior.

Neal Brennan 17:10 Right.

Joe Rogan 17:10 Like, no, no, no, no, no. I want equality.

Neal Brennan 17:13 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 17:13 I want you... me to be able to call you a dunce and not have to worry about being homophobic.

Neal Brennan 17:16 Yeah. And no one hears gay dunce-

Joe Rogan 17:19 Right.

Neal Brennan 17:19 ... when you say it. You just go, "This guy's a fucking dummy." You're like, "Hey, hey, hey, hey."

Joe Rogan 17:22 He's a fucking dunce.

Neal Brennan 17:23 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 17:23 Oh my God, you're homophobic.

Neal Brennan 17:24 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 17:25 Oh my God. Oh my God.

Neal Brennan 17:27 It's... Yeah, it's the... It w- That's how it would go at The Comedy Cellar. Like, it... Just like, "This fucking dunce." And it would-

Joe Rogan 17:33 That's why we're here.

Neal Brennan 17:33 It would count.

Joe Rogan 17:34 Dude, I hear that the h- The Comedy Cellar is, like, seriously has a social justice warrior infestation. Like, they need to, like, spray the place.

Neal Brennan 17:42 Oh, I don't... I mean, when I've been there, it hasn't been like that.

Joe Rogan 17:44 That's why we're here.

Neal Brennan 17:45 But I mean, they've been... There have been people writing about it. There have been w-... I mean, it's like The Comedy Cellar is, like, the main hub of culture now.

Joe Rogan 17:52 Mm-hmm.

Neal Brennan 17:52 It's like-

Joe Rogan 17:52 It's the main hub of wokeness?

Neal Brennan 17:54 Yeah, I mean, it... But it's also, like, the, the main battlefield of wokeness-

Joe Rogan 17:57 Mm-hmm.

Neal Brennan 17:57 ... where it's like, "Louie came and there were protesters."

Joe Rogan 18:01 Ah.

Neal Brennan 18:01 "And then I couldn't sit at the table." And I... Because-

Joe Rogan 18:04 Fuck you.

Neal Brennan 18:04 And it's like, all right. I mean...

Joe Rogan 18:06 Yeah.

Neal Brennan 18:06 I don't think it's-

Joe Rogan 18:07 Pull your dick out.

Neal Brennan 18:08 Yeah, exactly.

Joe Rogan 18:09 Some girl told Lo- Louie to pull her dick out and she was a hero. I was, I was tw- quoting all these tweets, uh, that were-

Neal Brennan 18:14 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 18:14 ... talking about it and articles that were written. Hero. She was heroic.

Neal Brennan 18:19 I think-

Joe Rogan 18:19 Okay.

Neal Brennan 18:19 ... that, I think, someone sent me a Louis article today, I think there's just fatigue at this point.

Joe Rogan 18:23 Yes.

Neal Brennan 18:24 I think people are just, like, t- like, "What's he..." I don't, yeah, okay.

Joe Rogan 18:26 Like, try to find a new Stormy Daniels article.

Neal Brennan 18:29 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 18:29 Everybody's, like, "Enough."

Neal Brennan 18:31 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 18:31 Try... We thought it was gonna work, it didn't work.

Neal Brennan 18:33 Yeah. Ah, fuck, all right. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 18:33 He doesn't give a fuck. He doesn't give a fuck.

Neal Brennan 18:35 Yeah. Ah, fuck.

Narrator 18:37 (laughs)

Neal Brennan 18:37 He doesn't care, shit.

Joe Rogan 18:38 Dude, Justin Martindale was in, I'll never forget, he was in the fucking hallway of The Comedy Store as flamboyant as he could ever be-

Neal Brennan 18:44 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 18:44 ... and he goes, "That's our Monica Lewinsky. She's gonna take him down." I'm like, "Good luck."

Neal Brennan 18:49 Stormy Daniels?

Joe Rogan 18:50 Yeah. I'm like, "Good luck with that."

Neal Brennan 18:51 Nah.

Joe Rogan 18:52 "That ain't gonna do shit."

Neal Brennan 18:53 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 18:53 So what's the worst thing that comes out of this? That he fucked her?

Neal Brennan 18:57 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 18:57 Or that he paid her to keep quiet and she didn't keep quiet? What's the worst thing? Do we think he doesn't fuck?

Neal Brennan 19:02 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 19:02 Like-

Neal Brennan 19:02 It's all different strains on like-

Joe Rogan 19:04 Right.

Neal Brennan 19:04 We knew he was gross.

Joe Rogan 19:06 (laughs)

Neal Brennan 19:06 No one cared.

Narrator 19:08 (laughs)

Neal Brennan 19:08 The only way that we'll, it goes, he raises taxes-

Joe Rogan 19:11 Yeah.

Neal Brennan 19:11 ... or, then he'll lose his base, or you, uh, raise his taxes on lower middle class people, and if he, if he, like, doesn't stand by his abortion stuff. But otherwise, all the donors are sticking with him, everyone's sticking with him.

Joe Rogan 19:23 What happened yesterday? There was a new abortion ruling, was it in Alabama?

Neal Brennan 19:28 Yes.

Joe Rogan 19:29 That, that literally-

Neal Brennan 19:30 It's basically-

Joe Rogan 19:30 ... outlawed.

Neal Brennan 19:31 ... outlawed. I-

Joe Rogan 19:32 Wow.

Neal Brennan 19:32 ... personally believe it's gonna backfire.

Joe Rogan 19:34 You think so?

Neal Brennan 19:35 Yeah, 'cause I think people... The thing that, that's always been true is Republicans were against, uh, abortion, and they would go like, "We..." And they never got to repeal it. Right?

Joe Rogan 19:45 Mm-hmm.

Narrator 19:45 Right.

Neal Brennan 19:46 I think they're gonna repeal it, and then people are gonna go like, "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. This is crazy." If you don't want to get abortions, fine, but you can't, uh, change a law based on, a lot of times not even a plurality of, of, uh, you know, like, in general elections, like in the general presidential election. Like, it's not even the majority of the country that elects the president now.

Joe Rogan 20:07 What did, who voted, was this something that the people of Alabama voted on?

Neal Brennan 20:11 The, no, it's the, it's the, the government, like the, the state legislature.

Joe Rogan 20:15 (inhales sharply) That is a slippery slope.

Neal Brennan 20:17 Yeah.

Narrator 20:17 Oh, man.

Neal Brennan 20:17 And it's like you're going, you're doing 99 years in jail if you get an ab- if you give an abortion or-

Joe Rogan 20:23 Really?

Neal Brennan 20:23 ... get one, yeah.

Joe Rogan 20:23 That's what it is now?

Neal Brennan 20:24 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 20:25 Holy shit.

Neal Brennan 20:25 That's what it's gonna, that's the law that they passed. I just personally believe that... I mean, I'm obviously hopeful, but it's a bit like, nah, that's too far. It's a bit like when they made Clinton testify and people were like, "Ah." That was too, that was like the, the, the, the too, too far of, uh, the, a line was crossed-

Joe Rogan 20:45 Yeah.

Neal Brennan 20:45 ... when they made Clinton testify about her sex life, and it was like, mm, we don't like that. We understand that you wanted to rebuke the guy-

Narrator 20:51 (coughs)

Neal Brennan 20:51 ... but don't make the pres- And I feel like, I'm hoping, and I believe it's true, uh, that it will be too far a field for moderate people.

Joe Rogan 21:01 (lips smack) I hope you're right.

Neal Brennan 21:03 And-

Joe Rogan 21:04 It's just, it's very dangerous when you just decide that no one can do it anymore based on a few people's decision-

Neal Brennan 21:12 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 21:13 ... that is gonna affect the millions of people that live in Alabama. How much-

Neal Brennan 21:15 Well, also, abortion-

Joe Rogan 21:17 How many people live in Alabama?

Neal Brennan 21:17 ... laws are odd 'cause it, it, the assumption is... The reason Christians want to outlaw it is because they think God is gonna say, "What's with your vote on that? I saw that you voted for abortion. What," like-

Joe Rogan 21:33 "Do you wanna kill babies?"

Neal Brennan 21:33 Yeah. "So you wanna kill babies?" Like, "Well, no, I didn't, I didn't kill any babies." "Yeah, but you voted for it." It's like-

Joe Rogan 21:38 No.

Neal Brennan 21:38 ... they don't want to live in a country where that's legal. Having said that, if you Google the worldwide rights of abortion, it's not legal everywhere, which surprised me, 'cause I was like, "Where is it... What is America's, uh, where do we stand within the rest of the world?" And there are not a ton of countries, but there's a, there's, I think it's illegal in a quarter of the world.

Joe Rogan 22:03 Wow.

Neal Brennan 22:04 Um, if not more.

Joe Rogan 22:05 Well, abortion is one of those things where it's like, okay, when does it bother you? Doesn't bother me at all if you're two days pregnant.

Neal Brennan 22:13 Right.

Joe Rogan 22:13 Doesn't bother me at all. Bothers me a little if you're four months pregnant. Bothers me a lot if you're five or six. Bothers me a lot. If you look really pregnant-

Neal Brennan 22:21 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 22:22 ... and you get an abortion, it's like, what i- what d- what is that? Is that a, a baby that would be viable outside the womb? 'Cause it's one of those, it's, it's something that people just have a deep discomfort about when discussing. Even if you're a supporter of it, if you just discuss the actual reality of what it is, what the act is, what this surgical procedure is, and it makes, you know... It, it's not, it's not like-

Neal Brennan 22:47 It's not nothing. That's the thing.

Joe Rogan 22:49 Yeah, it's not nothing.

Neal Brennan 22:49 It's not nothing.

Joe Rogan 22:49 Right, right, right.

Neal Brennan 22:50 Like, and, and I think that one of the indicators that it's not nothing, and I'm pro- pro-choice.

Joe Rogan 22:55 As am I.

Neal Brennan 22:55 Yeah, like, um, you're right wing, Joe. Everybody knows that. Um-

Joe Rogan 22:59 Super right.

Neal Brennan 23:00 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 23:00 Some so far right I go the other way, I'm left.

Neal Brennan 23:02 Um, the, uh-

Joe Rogan 23:03 Kiss on the backside.

Neal Brennan 23:04 The, I actually do want to talk about that, uh, the, the presumption about you. Um, that, you, the, one of the indicators is when people talk about even getting an abortion, they are a- they always whisper about it.

Joe Rogan 23:17 Yeah.

Neal Brennan 23:17 And I don't know if it's because-

Joe Rogan 23:19 Shameful.

Neal Brennan 23:19 ... of the stigma or-

Joe Rogan 23:20 Yeah, I think so.

Neal Brennan 23:21 ... because they, it's kinda not nothing.

Joe Rogan 23:24 Yeah. It's a, it's a personal thing too. I don't think they wanna discuss it with other folks. And it's filthy.

Neal Brennan 23:27 But I wouldn't care if you got a, if I got a cyst removed. I mean, if that's the, the indication-

Joe Rogan 23:31 Right, if it's just that.

Neal Brennan 23:32 Yeah, if it's just a medical procedure, and again, pro-choice, have at it.

Joe Rogan 23:37 Yeah.

Neal Brennan 23:37 I'm sure, I've never, I don't, I haven't had any abortions that I know of. Um, but I don't, I don't know at what point I'd be like, ah.

Joe Rogan 23:46 And these attitudes about it, about the taboo of discussing it, though, it impedes rational discourse. It impedes your ability to t- talk about things and communicate about them. Because you have to have this very rigid opinion that you're always pro-abortion, pro-women's rights, woman's right to choose, which I am. It i- but we're still th- talking about a real thing. And that real thing is killing a thing that would grow up to be a person, and that's why people freak out about it. And to pretend it otherwise-

Neal Brennan 24:13 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 24:13 ... is just disingenuous.

Neal Brennan 24:15 Louis was the first one I heard talk about that on stage in a f- in a way that was funny. Where like, "If they think they're murdering babies down there, yeah, I'd protest too."

Joe Rogan 24:21 Yeah.

Neal Brennan 24:22 "If I thought they were, if there was a place that I thought-

Joe Rogan 24:24 (coughs)

Neal Brennan 24:24 "... these people are murdering babies-

Joe Rogan 24:25 Right.

Neal Brennan 24:25 ... I'm out there every day."

Joe Rogan 24:26 Yeah.

Neal Brennan 24:26 Uh, uh, he's like, "I don't care. I personally think they are murdering babies. I don't care."

Narrator 24:31 (laughs)

Neal Brennan 24:32 I have a guy who's-

Joe Rogan 24:33 Yeah.

Neal Brennan 24:33 ... tend towards to that effect.

Joe Rogan 24:34 This was before he got in trouble and-

Neal Brennan 24:35 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 24:35 ... this is one of the things, like when, like that Parkland joke that he did? I was like, "Look, that's not his best joke." But it's also, he's working it out.

Neal Brennan 24:42 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 24:42 He hasn't done stand up in 10 fucking months, he's working it out. But if you say that he's different now, "We're getting to see the real Louis." Like, bitch, you better go through his library.

Neal Brennan 24:51 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 24:51 That's what he did!

Neal Brennan 24:52 Yeah. The Parkland thing was-

Joe Rogan 24:53 That's his act!

Neal Brennan 24:53 ... like, his ninth most offensive joke.

Joe Rogan 24:55 Yeah, not even close!

Neal Brennan 24:57 Um-

Joe Rogan 24:57 But he's, he's, that's what he does.

Neal Brennan 24:59 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 24:59 It's called comedy.

Neal Brennan 25:00 Yeah. They, the idea was like, "Well, but we didn't know he was a dick."

Joe Rogan 25:03 'Cause you didn't even know him.

Neal Brennan 25:05 (laughs) Yeah, 'cause you don't know.

Joe Rogan 25:06 You didn't know anything.

Neal Brennan 25:07 You assume what you believed-

Joe Rogan 25:08 (coughs)

Neal Brennan 25:08 ... what he fed, or you, you wanted to believe. I actually-

Joe Rogan 25:11 Yes.

Neal Brennan 25:11 ... I have a theory that one of the reasons people like the New York Times and, and, and, uh, other media outlets got, brought the hammer down so hard on him, is because they'd heard the rumors and ignored them. So now they have to signal that like-

Joe Rogan 25:27 Hmm.

Neal Brennan 25:27 ... "This is wrong." 'Cause there were rumors before.

Joe Rogan 25:29 Right.

Neal Brennan 25:29 And they were like, "We don't..." Like they w- they ignored them, so now they have to overcompensate. Be like, "He is-"

Joe Rogan 25:35 That's possible.

Neal Brennan 25:35 ... "absolutely, he's the face of hypocrisy and evil." And it's like, "Okay."

Joe Rogan 25:40 Well, he just caught it at the worst time-

Neal Brennan 25:42 Yeah. He just-

Joe Rogan 25:42 ... ever, culturally.

Neal Brennan 25:43 Exactly. Yeah. He just-

Joe Rogan 25:44 There's that.

Neal Brennan 25:45 It's a bad ... He had beachfront property-

Joe Rogan 25:48 (laughs)

Neal Brennan 25:48 ... during a, during a, during-

Joe Rogan 25:51 The hurricane!

Neal Brennan 25:51 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 25:51 (coughs)

Neal Brennan 25:51 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 25:51 Yeah, it was a hurricane of change.

Neal Brennan 25:51 He just is like, "Yeah, some hurricanes you can just start, you got the deep stilts."

Joe Rogan 25:55 Mm-hmm. Not this one, motherfucker. This is a fucking-

Neal Brennan 25:57 Yeah, like he had fucking-

Joe Rogan 25:58 ... structure flattener.

Neal Brennan 26:00 (laughs) He's walking around and he's going, "Oh my God, this is my cup!" (laughs) Oh, my cup.

Joe Rogan 26:07 Yeah.

Neal Brennan 26:08 Uh, here's what I wanna talk about with you. The idea, 'cause whenever I tell people we're friends or that I go on your show, they're like, "How can you?" I'm like, first of all, 'cause you're a fucking good dude and have been a good dude for 27 years that I know of, to me. Um-

Joe Rogan 26:22 Thank you.

Neal Brennan 26:23 It doesn't mean you're always good, but whatever, you're always a good dude to me.

Joe Rogan 26:25 (laughs)

Neal Brennan 26:25 Every time I say ... Whatever, I don't fucking know your life. I don't know what you do outside of fucking Encino. Uh, the, uh ... And now the next question becomes, why do you have cranks on, or what people would consider cranks on the show? And you and I have talked about this a little bit off the show. Explain, because you are basically liberal.

Joe Rogan 26:45 Yes.

Neal Brennan 26:47 But you believe in having hardcore right wing people on because you like them personally or you like, you believe it's worth-

Joe Rogan 26:55 Some of them I like personally, some of them it's worth having a conversation. Like, (coughs) Ben Shapiro is one that I had a long conversation with. He's one of the more controversial guys that I have on.

Neal Brennan 27:05 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 27:05 Where people get upset at me and call me an alt-righter.

Neal Brennan 27:07 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 27:07 Which meanwhile, he's been attacked by the alt-right. You know, they, they've, I mean, he wears a yarmulke for Christ's sake.

Neal Brennan 27:14 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 27:14 He's not alt-right, he's not a white supremacist by any stretch of the imagination. He was the number one target for anti-Semitic remarks in the entire world-

Neal Brennan 27:21 'Cause he's a Jew.

Joe Rogan 27:22 ... in 2016. Well, he's, that, there's that.

Neal Brennan 27:25 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 27:25 There's definitely that.

Neal Brennan 27:25 Look at him, he's a Jew!

Joe Rogan 27:26 But we had a d- an in-depth conversation, a very long one, about gay people.

Neal Brennan 27:32 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 27:32 'Cause he's really-

Neal Brennan 27:33 I saw a little bit of it-

Joe Rogan 27:34 Yeah.

Neal Brennan 27:34 ... where he was like, he kinda didn't, he kinda got a little lost.

Joe Rogan 27:37 Well, yeah, because it doesn't ... Well, he had two different take ... Here's, like, David Pakman, uh, had a, an interesting take on it. Pakman said that if you look at his explanation, 'cause I asked him a couple things. I'm like, "Do you really believe that Moses parted the Red Sea?" And he said, "I would look for more naturalistic explanation for that." But then when I w- talked to him about gay people and gay things, he wasn't-

Neal Brennan 28:03 And it was absolute?

Joe Rogan 28:04 ... interested in a naturalistic-

Neal Brennan 28:05 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 28:05 ... explanation. And he also wasn't interested in giving people the ability to do whatever they want. He felt like you're n- you're supposed to resist that. And his take is that, like you, you have an urge to murder people but you don't do it because you're a good person, and you should do the same thing with being gay. And I was like, "Wow, that's a crazy, that's crazy mental gymnastics." So-

Neal Brennan 28:24 So that is a nat- he believes a natural occurring thing.

Joe Rogan 28:27 Mm-hmm. That God is testing you with. I mean, I'm, I'm putting words-

Neal Brennan 28:30 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 28:30 ... in his mouth-

Neal Brennan 28:30 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 28:31 ... I think, but essentially that's his, his position. His position is that God doesn't want you to do that, it's in the Bible, he doesn't do it. I mean, he, he goes hard.

Neal Brennan 28:38 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 28:38 He doesn't use electricity on the Sabbath till the sun goes down, the whole deal.

Neal Brennan 28:41 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 28:42 And, um, you know, a lot of people are like, "You know, you're giving this guy a platform." Like, look, I'm communicating with someone. And I like him as a person, he's a very nice guy. I don't agree with him at all about that, about the gay stuff.

Neal Brennan 28:52 And you believe it's worth giving people a platform?

Joe Rogan 28:55 What does that mean?

Neal Brennan 28:55 Just to-

Joe Rogan 28:56 See, I think, but, but-

Neal Brennan 28:56 Well not a platform, but like, yeah.

Joe Rogan 28:57 ... I think that's a real problem to, discussing things like that.

Neal Brennan 29:00 (coughs)

Joe Rogan 29:00 Like giving people a platform.

Neal Brennan 29:01 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 29:01 Because we're living in this world of deplatforming people.

Neal Brennan 29:04 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 29:04 I think that's inherently dangerous. And I think that just stopping people from their ability to communicate just makes more pressure on their side. It makes more people that are on the fence support them 'cause they see you as being a censor. And that's what I think we found out with Jack, um, from Twitter, Jack Dorsey, when he came on and talked to me about it, and when he brought Vij on who's the lawyer in, you know, help coordinate the-

Neal Brennan 29:25 Like censoring one is censoring all, sort of.

Joe Rogan 29:28 It's fucking, it's not smart. It's, it's not good. It, it does the opposite of what you intend it to do. It makes the other side magnified, it makes whoever you're censoring more popular, it makes them an underdog, and it also goes against core American values like the freedom of speech. And I know that these are private institutions, and I know that they are not necessarily forced to uphold what we determine as free speech in terms of like, how it's written in the Constitution and the Bill of Rights. I get, I understand that. But I think that the principles of human interaction on this planet, uh, are largely dictated by our ability to discuss things, even if you disagree.

Neal Brennan 30:08 I-

Joe Rogan 30:08 You have to be able to talk.

Neal Brennan 30:09 I actually do agree with you that, that the, I think like deplatforming and silencing and he's a, uh ...

Joe Rogan 30:15 Dangerous.

Neal Brennan 30:15 Like, I don't ... There are very few people-

Joe Rogan 30:18 (laughs)

Neal Brennan 30:19 ... that, well, there's no one that I agree with 100% of the time.

Joe Rogan 30:22 Right.

Neal Brennan 30:22 Including-

Joe Rogan 30:23 Even yourself.

Neal Brennan 30:23 Yes.

Joe Rogan 30:24 Yeah.

Neal Brennan 30:24 Including your joke about like, you don't agree with yourself.

Joe Rogan 30:26 Yeah.

Neal Brennan 30:26 Like-

Joe Rogan 30:26 I don't. Yeah.

Neal Brennan 30:27 I don't, like-

Joe Rogan 30:28 It's real.

Neal Brennan 30:28 Yeah. Well, that's also, there's something Buddhist about it which is like, your thoughts are not-Correct.

Joe Rogan 30:34 Right.

Neal Brennan 30:34 They're not even your thoughts, they're just like noise.

Joe Rogan 30:36 And they're depended upon your emotions sometimes.

Neal Brennan 30:38 Yes.

Joe Rogan 30:38 They're depended upon- upon your stress levels.

Neal Brennan 30:40 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 30:41 You know, sometimes you just like- you're- you just don't have it in you and you're like, "Stop!"

Neal Brennan 30:45 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 30:45 And then other times y- the same situation, you'd be super calm and reasonable and maybe you could turn it around.

Neal Brennan 30:50 Yeah, if you've eaten.

Joe Rogan 30:51 Yeah.

Neal Brennan 30:52 Like, they- I saw a thing yesterday, doctors are worse in the afternoon.

Joe Rogan 30:55 Oh, I'm sure.

Neal Brennan 30:56 Judges are worse before lunch.

Joe Rogan 30:57 I've heard surgeons, they always get surgeries in the morning.

Neal Brennan 30:59 Yeah. Uh, yeah. So, to your point, yeah.

Joe Rogan 31:01 But the right wing thing- the right wing thing is just an easy way to dismiss me, uh, because I'm not right wing. If you ask me my positions on things, it's very left wing.

Neal Brennan 31:08 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 31:09 The only thing that I- I vary with the orthodoxy is with the Second Amendment, with gun rights. I don't think it's just that simple. I know a lot of really good people that have guns and I know- I know a lot of really good people that would never shoot anybody that have guns to protect themselves.

Neal Brennan 31:22 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 31:22 And to label everyone the same is just like labeling everyone who drives a car the same as those incels that drove into people in Montreal or wherever that was.

Neal Brennan 31:30 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 31:30 Was that Toronto? Wherever that was.

Neal Brennan 31:31 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 31:32 Uh, it's- we have a real problem labeling people and labeling people with- it's lazy and it's an attempt to marginalize or dismiss their positions, and-

Neal Brennan 31:44 And it also feels good-

Joe Rogan 31:45 Yeah. Sure.

Neal Brennan 31:46 ... to do it.

Joe Rogan 31:46 Sure.

Neal Brennan 31:46 It feels good to like, guess what? Writing them off, I'm superior, I have a very clear moral view.

Joe Rogan 31:53 Mm-hmm.

Neal Brennan 31:54 I'm taking out one of my moral p- paintbrushes-

Joe Rogan 31:57 Sure.

Neal Brennan 31:57 ... and zoo, you are that.

Joe Rogan 31:59 I mean, even if you- it's not a moral position, even if like, "That Neil Brennan, he's such a left wing cuck."

Neal Brennan 32:03 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 32:04 "He's a this and a that." And boom, there you go.

Neal Brennan 32:06 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 32:06 "I got him in a box, I'm gonna put a ribbon on it." Yep. "Ship him off." It's like-

Neal Brennan 32:10 So you've read the comments on sh- when I'm on the show.

Joe Rogan 32:11 "Yeah, canceled. You're canceled I heard."

Neal Brennan 32:13 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 32:13 The- so, uh, I brought up that makeup boy and, um, the makeup boy my daughter's in love with. She watches his makeup on YouTube.

Neal Brennan 32:20 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 32:20 And now he's been canceled.

Neal Brennan 32:22 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 32:22 I understand he lost three million in... And she's- she was telling me, to have an 11-year-old sit down and tell you about a gay makeup artist, and this is the funny part, she goes, "Well, there was a couple things. Okay, so there was the thing with he has, um, a friend who..." And he tells me this woman's name who got him into the business. "And then she asked him to promote her hair stuff, but he said no and he went with another hair stuff. So he totally, totally betrayed her." All right?

Neal Brennan 32:51 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 32:51 It's like, my 11-year-old's telling me this. And then, this was the best part, she goes, "There was also some talk that, you know, he's gay and there was boys that were not gay and he tried to get them to be in a room with him."

Narrator 33:04 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 33:05 So like, listening to an 11-year-old tell me this shit.

Neal Brennan 33:07 Well, by the way, that also could have been how- that's how- that's the tone of the internet anyway as an 11-year-old girl.

Joe Rogan 33:15 It is. (laughs) I'm not being touched.

Neal Brennan 33:15 So you actually heard a- at least it came from an 11-year-old girl-

Joe Rogan 33:18 Yeah.

Neal Brennan 33:18 ... instead of like, "So-and-so's canceled."

Joe Rogan 33:20 You're 40.

Neal Brennan 33:20 You can read every... Like, yeah, no, you're a fucking 40-year-old adult.

Joe Rogan 33:25 (laughs)

Neal Brennan 33:25 The fu- why are you talking like a little girl?

Joe Rogan 33:28 Yeah.

Neal Brennan 33:28 You're on a fuck- you're on BuzzFeed, you're on Fox.

Joe Rogan 33:31 Mmm.

Neal Brennan 33:31 Like, it's getting to the point where the New York Times is gonna be doing that, like...

Joe Rogan 33:34 (laughs) It's- they're close to it now. I mean, I think that-

Neal Brennan 33:37 Alabama owns abortion, people.

Joe Rogan 33:40 Yeah. What it is is, uh, the media right now, especially journalism, they're fucking starving for hits.

Neal Brennan 33:46 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 33:46 It's so hard to make money. It's so hard.

Neal Brennan 33:49 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 33:49 And so they're drowning.

Neal Brennan 33:49 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 33:50 And so they're trying to grab whatever branches they can.

Neal Brennan 33:52 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 33:52 If they gotta make a good story with a clickbaity title, (snaps fingers) fuck it.

Neal Brennan 33:56 Fine.

Joe Rogan 33:56 They'll have that deceptive title. Who gives a shit?

Neal Brennan 33:58 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 33:58 We- we got a good story, the story's vetted.

Neal Brennan 34:00 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 34:01 And even if it's not totally vetted, if it's a little slippery, but that you can make an amendment later, you know, "I'm sorry-

Neal Brennan 34:06 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 34:06 ... we have a little bit of an apology, you know, we have to make a retraction."

Neal Brennan 34:09 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 34:09 Nobody reads those goddamn retractions.

Neal Brennan 34:11 No.

Joe Rogan 34:12 I mean, you should have to have a retract- if you- if you fuck up so hardcore that you attribute a crime to someone or you do something like that and you-

Neal Brennan 34:19 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 34:19 ... have to make a re- retraction, it should be on the front page of your paper and nothing else for a month.

Neal Brennan 34:24 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 34:24 Like ev- for- that's it. This is your newspaper now.

Neal Brennan 34:26 Yeah, walk the plank.

Joe Rogan 34:26 "I'm sorry-

Neal Brennan 34:27 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 34:27 ... we don't get to tell you the news anymore."

Neal Brennan 34:29 Yeah, by the way.

Joe Rogan 34:29 "Because we fucked this up so-

Neal Brennan 34:31 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 34:31 ... hard that we printed out to millions of people."

Neal Brennan 34:33 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 34:33 You don't get to just put in a little column in the corner.

Neal Brennan 34:35 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 34:35 "We'd like to apologize."

Neal Brennan 34:36 We fucked up last mi- month. Also, 9/11 happened.

Joe Rogan 34:40 (laughs)

Narrator 34:40 (laughs)

Neal Brennan 34:40 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 34:41 It's like-

Neal Brennan 34:41 Also, f- planes running into the World Trade Center.

Joe Rogan 34:44 It's fucking too hard to be a journalist, man. It's-

Neal Brennan 34:46 Well, that's what I- this is what, uh, another thing I wanna talk to you about.

Joe Rogan 34:49 (sighs)

Neal Brennan 34:49 Which is, uh, absolute tr- meaning, if you believe, like I- I still believe in like institutional journalists. I believe in New York Times.

Joe Rogan 35:01 New York Times, me as well. Yeah.

Neal Brennan 35:01 I believe in Washington Po- Wash- Washington Post, like, so and you used the fact that they m- wrote about a UFC fight, they just said he was bloody and-

Joe Rogan 35:10 No, no, no. It was-

Neal Brennan 35:11 ... or the- the McGregor fight where it's bloody and he wasn't.

Joe Rogan 35:12 Yeah, the McGregor fight. It was just a bad, very bad description. It was very inaccurate. I'm like, "Why would you do that?" Like, you guys are crazy that the New York Times is allowing this-

Neal Brennan 35:20 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 35:20 ... completely inaccurate description of something that millions of people saw.

Neal Brennan 35:24 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 35:25 It's so silly. And it makes everybody question everything else you say, and you might think it's trivial because it's just a boxing match, but it's completely inaccurate.

Neal Brennan 35:33 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 35:33 And, uh, completely, uh, exaggerating what actually went down.

Neal Brennan 35:38 Well, if you've- you've had articles written about you.

Joe Rogan 35:40 Sure.

Neal Brennan 35:40 They fuck up every one.

Joe Rogan 35:41 Everything, yeah.

Neal Brennan 35:42 Every one.

Joe Rogan 35:42 Yeah.

Neal Brennan 35:42 But now having said that, I- we can't dismiss all jour-

Joe Rogan 35:47 Journalism. No.

Neal Brennan 35:47 Like, there needs to be an absolute, uh, kind of an absolute truth, and that's what I feel like is f- uh, sort of melting in this era of anyone who goes like, "Well, they said this." And that's not true, so everything else they say is fucking bullshit.

Joe Rogan 36:04 Right. Of course. Yeah.

Neal Brennan 36:05 Which I think the- the- Trump does a lot.

Joe Rogan 36:09 Yeah.

Neal Brennan 36:09 And I think people are all too happy to believe it 'cause they resent institutions, they resent these smarty pants motherfuckers, which I also get. I get the impulse. I just don't think-

Joe Rogan 36:19 Especially someone like New York Times, right?

Neal Brennan 36:20 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 36:20 It's the smartest of s- the old gray lady.

Neal Brennan 36:22 Yeah. Um, and it's like, it just plays on every stereotype. Like, there are so many stereotypes at work that can make you write it off.

Joe Rogan 36:31 I think we're in a transitionary period, that's what I think. And I think that-

Neal Brennan 36:34 What do you think it gets replaced by, though?

Joe Rogan 36:36 That's the real problem. The real problem is they- they have all their pieces, all the best journalists, right? All the best people.... are all locked into two ancient systems. One ancient system is print medium, the other ancient system is broadcast medium.

Neal Brennan 36:51 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 36:51 The broadcast medium, the ancient pro- part of it is, it has to go on at a certain time, Tuesdays at 8:00 PM, and then you have to sit there and wait for the commercials unless you DVR it, right?

Neal Brennan 37:01 Right.

Joe Rogan 37:01 So that's inherently flawed. And then the print medium, well, they figured out a way to get it on your laptop and your phone now. So, okay, they've got a little bit of a workaround there, but they have a really hard time getting people to sign up for digital subscriptions. Just th- th- th- distribution's not nearly as good as it used to be.

Neal Brennan 37:15 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 37:16 And it's hard. It's hard to get people to buy newspapers. But at least they've- they've got their foot in the door with clickbaity titles-

Neal Brennan 37:21 And I think, like, the Times and the Post are-

Joe Rogan 37:23 Yeah.

Neal Brennan 37:23 ... are- are pretty successful online.

Joe Rogan 37:25 They're actually doing much better because of President Trump-

Neal Brennan 37:28 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 37:28 ... 'cause he talks so much shit about them that people actually said, "I need to support-"

Neal Brennan 37:32 Like, what? The New York Times, what is it? (laughs)

Joe Rogan 37:36 (laughs) Well, they needed to support it-

Neal Brennan 37:37 Yeah, I'll check it out.

Joe Rogan 37:37 ... because they're like, "Fuck, man, this guy's tr-..."

Neal Brennan 37:39 Oh, yeah, that's the other... Yeah.

Joe Rogan 37:40 "... literally trying to take down the Times."

Neal Brennan 37:40 Yeah. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 37:40 "It's so irresponsible." He's trying to take out the New York Times-

Neal Brennan 37:42 And that's what I think might happen with abortion, where it's like, "Oh wait."

Joe Rogan 37:45 Yes.

Neal Brennan 37:45 "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa."

Joe Rogan 37:45 I hope so.

Neal Brennan 37:45 "I don't even wanna get it, but if you've... If this is where you motherfuckers were headed..." 'Cause they were being held back. It was like, "Motherfucker, I'll fuck you up!" And then they got free, and now they're beating the shit out of abortion people, like, whoa.

Joe Rogan 37:59 Accidental pregnancies are the real problem. It's not even... I mean, obviously abortion is a solution, right? If you have to-

Neal Brennan 38:06 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 38:06 ... if you wanna do it, but if... The accidental pregnancy's the real fucking problem. Like, it should be... It's- it's one of the things that I- I talked about with, uh, Jesse Itzel, who was on the other day, we were talking about genetic engineering. He said, like, they're gonna eventually one day move away from sex for procreation, and sex is just gonna be for fun. Just gonna be people bonding, enjoying each other's bodies.

Neal Brennan 38:28 Right.

Joe Rogan 38:28 That's not gonna be how we procreate. We're gonna, we're gonna procreate through some sort of-

Neal Brennan 38:32 You- you- you like a girl and you make a call.

Joe Rogan 38:34 ... enhanced genetic process. Well, it'll- it'll certainly drastically reduce the amount of people that have kids, you know?

Neal Brennan 38:38 But what do... So does everyone... Do you freeze your eggs, and like-

Joe Rogan 38:42 I don't know.

Neal Brennan 38:42 ... we give sperm?

Joe Rogan 38:43 I don't know how they're gonna do it. I don't know how they're gonna do it. I mean, I- I think there's also the problem that the- the baby supposedly bonds inside the mother's body. Like, to have a baby grow up in some sort of a fucking weird electronic womb and then you make that kid a fucking sociopath-

Neal Brennan 38:58 Right.

Joe Rogan 38:58 ... who has no connection to people when he's born, doesn't give a fuck, just wants to survive-

Neal Brennan 39:01 Little beast, yeah. I mean, there was that test tube baby thing, which I think started before me, but I remember that being-

Joe Rogan 39:06 Don't they-

Neal Brennan 39:06 ... an insult.

Joe Rogan 39:07 They put the bot, the baby in the body though.

Neal Brennan 39:09 It... Yeah.

Joe Rogan 39:09 They- they put the embryos in the person's body, and-

Neal Brennan 39:12 There is the thing of, uh, surrogates.

Joe Rogan 39:14 Yes.

Neal Brennan 39:15 So they, who do they bond with?

Joe Rogan 39:16 That's a weird one, man. Like, that's- that's the Kim Kardashian way now, right?

Neal Brennan 39:20 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 39:20 She's having a bunch of babies with surrogates, like, you know, you show up for the wedding, or the... You show up for the birth in a fucking tight skirt and like, "Yay, my baby's-"

Neal Brennan 39:28 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 39:28 "... being born today." Like, what? What... You're... You have your clothes on.

Neal Brennan 39:32 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 39:32 What is happening here?

Neal Brennan 39:33 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 39:34 It's like...

Neal Brennan 39:34 No, she's... I gotta hire somebody. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 39:36 My friend actually did that.

Neal Brennan 39:37 I got a girl on it.

Joe Rogan 39:38 My friend actually did that. He's gay, and he and his husband, um, they- they mixed their sperm. They shot it in... Are these... A turkey baster or something into some gal? I don't know how to do it.

Neal Brennan 39:47 Mm-hmm. Sure, something...

Joe Rogan 39:48 I might be making this up.

Neal Brennan 39:49 You don't, you don't follow science too tight.

Joe Rogan 39:50 Anyway, she got pregnant. Their surrogate got pregnant, had the baby, and decided to keep it, decided, uh, she couldn't part with it, and it's their baby, so it's their DNA and- mixed with hers, and she decided to keep it, and, uh, she got away with it. Um, I don't-

Neal Brennan 40:05 Did they sue her or they just-

Joe Rogan 40:06 I don't know.

Neal Brennan 40:06 ... were like...

Joe Rogan 40:07 I don't know. I didn't wanna push. They were very upset-

Neal Brennan 40:10 Joe, you gotta push.

Joe Rogan 40:10 ... and then they wound up getting another surrogate and then having a child and everything worked out. This was quite a while ago.

Neal Brennan 40:15 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 40:15 But, uh, they were really bummed out, man. I mean, they were ready to be parents. But then, you know, some people say, "Well, they were never gonna be parents in the first place 'cause they're gay, and they didn't even have sex with her."

Neal Brennan 40:24 Right.

Joe Rogan 40:25 Wah. But it's...

Neal Brennan 40:26 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 40:26 But it is their baby, right? It's their DNA that-

Neal Brennan 40:29 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 40:29 ... made that... But it's not... They didn't adopt a child.

Neal Brennan 40:31 Right.

Joe Rogan 40:31 They chose to have a surrogate, so...

Neal Brennan 40:34 Yeah. No, it's complicated, and it's getting... Well, that's the thing of like, it feels like the level of danger and difficulty in the world is just getting steeper by the day.

Joe Rogan 40:43 Mm-hmm.

Neal Brennan 40:43 We're like, "Wait, what?"

Joe Rogan 40:44 I don't know.

Neal Brennan 40:45 And then there's always global warming and you're like, "Oh fuck."

Joe Rogan 40:47 Ah.

Neal Brennan 40:47 "Fuck."

Joe Rogan 40:48 Did you see f- uh, fucking, the science guy, Bill Nye, going crazy, screaming and swearing-

Neal Brennan 40:53 He was on an elevator or something? Or he...

Joe Rogan 40:54 Yeah. The planet's on fucking fire and-

Neal Brennan 40:56 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 40:57 ... just getting a little silly.

Neal Brennan 40:58 Yeah, no, no, no.

Joe Rogan 40:59 Like, bro, we're all right. Go to Antarctica.

Neal Brennan 41:02 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 41:02 (laughs) Planet's not on fire, bro.

Neal Brennan 41:04 Uh, no, I saw a thing that Antarctica was like 84 degrees.

Joe Rogan 41:07 Oh my God, it's on fire.

Neal Brennan 41:08 I mean, yeah. I-

Joe Rogan 41:09 Is it really? Do you really see something that says Antarctica was 84 degrees?

Neal Brennan 41:11 Uh, yeah, something in the Arctic Circle's 84 degrees, like, three days ago.

Joe Rogan 41:15 What the fuck is that? What the fuck?

Neal Brennan 41:17 It's gonna be a, it's gonna be... Do you ever think about, like...

Joe Rogan 41:21 Global warming?

Neal Brennan 41:21 ... re- but really what it will look like, like-

Joe Rogan 41:24 Yeah.

Neal Brennan 41:25 ... in 70 years, what it will do to the art, like... And I'm not talking about just Miami's gone or any... That's, like, incredibly, like, crazy to think about. It's, like, unfathomable.

Joe Rogan 41:38 It's not just that. Those Miami people, they're gonna move other places-

Neal Brennan 41:42 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 41:42 ... and ruin them.

Neal Brennan 41:42 That's probably the biggest, that's my biggest worry.

Joe Rogan 41:45 (laughs) Everywhere he goes, it's gonna be Lamborghinis and-

Neal Brennan 41:47 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 41:47 ... dudes yelling at girls in Spanish.

Neal Brennan 41:49 Eating outside.

Joe Rogan 41:50 (laughs)

Neal Brennan 41:50 Everyone's fucking eating outside, but like, would you fucking get indoors-

Joe Rogan 41:53 (laughs)

Neal Brennan 41:53 ... you maniac?

Joe Rogan 41:54 It's a party though.

Neal Brennan 41:54 A lot of salsa.

Joe Rogan 41:55 I love going there.

Neal Brennan 41:56 Salsa in like North Carolina, like-

Joe Rogan 41:58 Yeah.

Neal Brennan 41:58 ... get the fuck out of here.

Joe Rogan 41:59 (laughs)

Neal Brennan 41:59 Salsa dancing. Get the fuck out of here with the fucking... Um, that's a good bit. Uh...

Joe Rogan 42:04 They're- they're like another country that's attached to Florida.

Neal Brennan 42:09 Yeah. It's like Europe.

Joe Rogan 42:11 Yeah.

Neal Brennan 42:11 It's... I always say-

Joe Rogan 42:11 Yeah.

Neal Brennan 42:12 ... it's like people... You see like Italian people, like, in Beverly Hills or Miami, and they're... And I always say to my friend, "Those are people that were too douchey for Italy."

Joe Rogan 42:23 (laughs)

Neal Brennan 42:23 (laughs) And they're like, "Oh, well, then we gotta take it to the next douchey level."

Joe Rogan 42:28 (laughs)

Neal Brennan 42:28 Miami. And then they go...

Joe Rogan 42:30 (sings)

Neal Brennan 42:32 (sings) Uh, yeah. That... But- but you think about like, kinda like, not like 28 Days Later, but like...

Joe Rogan 42:39 Yeah.

Neal Brennan 42:40 You know?

Joe Rogan 42:40 Like Mad Max.

Neal Brennan 42:41 Huge, like, scary, fucking scary...

Joe Rogan 42:44 Yeah.

Neal Brennan 42:44 Especially 'cause we're gonna be near dead in-... no disrespect, you're not going to be in the same shape you're in now.

Joe Rogan 42:51 Mm.

Neal Brennan 42:51 And you're not, you, d- I mean, people may give you respect. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 42:55 Mm.

Neal Brennan 42:55 Eh, but like it's gonna be s- fucking scary.

Joe Rogan 42:58 It's gonna be ugly. We're gonna have to move to the mountains. Where would you move if shit hit the fan?

Neal Brennan 43:02 (sighs) Somebody-

Joe Rogan 43:03 Alaska?

Neal Brennan 43:03 Sam, uh, who's, what's Callan's friend, Sam, Fighter's Mind?

Joe Rogan 43:07 Sam Seder?

Neal Brennan 43:08 No.

Joe Rogan 43:08 No.

Neal Brennan 43:08 Sam, um, The Fighter's Mind, he wrote.

Joe Rogan 43:11 Oh, Goddammit, how can I not remember his name?

Neal Brennan 43:13 Yeah, um...

Joe Rogan 43:14 Hold on a second. I'll, I'll tell you real quick.

Neal Brennan 43:17 This is gonna be worth it, guys. Listeners, this is-

Jamie Vernon 43:20 Sam Sheridan?

Neal Brennan 43:20 This is... Sam Sheridan, that's right.

Joe Rogan 43:21 Sam, Sam Sheridan.

Neal Brennan 43:22 Um...

Joe Rogan 43:22 Thank you.

Neal Brennan 43:23 Told me 10 years ago and stuck with me, "Go to the marina," 'cause I live in Venice.

Joe Rogan 43:28 Mm-hmm.

Neal Brennan 43:28 He's like, "Go to the marina and basically just get pa-" Basically, you gotta pay to get on a boat or just be like, "I will be..." Uh, the hard part is how do I qualify to, like, "I can help you." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 43:42 Right, right.

Neal Brennan 43:43 'Cause I get seasick. Here's what I have going for me, seasick, queasy.

Joe Rogan 43:47 Why, why a boat?

Neal Brennan 43:47 'Cause you just get away.

Joe Rogan 43:49 Hmm.

Neal Brennan 43:49 You get away from-

Joe Rogan 43:50 From LA?

Neal Brennan 43:51 ... anyone. You get away from, uh, in LA's case, millions and millions of people. And you can, if there's a attacker, you can see them. You assume that they're not gonna be like, you know, SEAL teams-

Joe Rogan 44:05 Oh, Jesus.

Neal Brennan 44:05 ... coming onto your boat.

Joe Rogan 44:06 Attackers.

Neal Brennan 44:07 Well, I know, but that's what I mean, like how crazy-

Joe Rogan 44:10 Could it get?

Neal Brennan 44:11 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 44:12 You gotta go to Alaska. That's the move.

Neal Brennan 44:14 How do you get there?

Joe Rogan 44:15 It's a good call.

Neal Brennan 44:16 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 44:16 I'm dig it. Can you drive?

Neal Brennan 44:17 Airport's closed. Airport, I mean, uh, or like-

Joe Rogan 44:19 I mean, it's connected, right? You could drive, right?

Neal Brennan 44:22 You could technically drive, yeah. But-

Joe Rogan 44:24 Technically?

Jamie Vernon 44:24 They cut off that road all the time in, like, the Napa Valley 'cause the landslide will shut off the road.

Joe Rogan 44:29 Oh.

Jamie Vernon 44:29 Like, if that happens-

Joe Rogan 44:30 Yeah.

Jamie Vernon 44:30 ... good luck. Where the fuck you gonna go?

Joe Rogan 44:31 Then you're fucked.

Neal Brennan 44:32 Yeah.

Jamie Vernon 44:33 Yeah, good luck.

Neal Brennan 44:33 It's like Burr's got the helicopter, but he's, it's, he's gotta go to get it.

Joe Rogan 44:38 Yeah.

Neal Brennan 44:38 That's his escape. Uh-

Joe Rogan 44:39 Yeah, he had a great bit about that-

Neal Brennan 44:40 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 44:40 ... in his black and white special.

Neal Brennan 44:40 Yeah. The-

Joe Rogan 44:40 Yeah, I would move north. I'd probably move somewhere that was, uh, if I could g- just go to a place, if I knew I just had to get to a place, I would go to a place that, uh, is sustainable. Like, uh, whether it's Alaska or Minnesota or Michigan, somewhere where there's a lot of animals and there's wildlife. And you have, you have cold, you have water, you have a lot... Like, cold is better than heat, because cold you can make a fire. Like, if you have shelter and you can make a fire, in the cold you can live. With heat, you're fucked.

Neal Brennan 44:40 I have a, a counterargument, which is I don't, I th- the cold kills more people than heat.

Joe Rogan 44:40 Sure, it does.

Neal Brennan 44:40 That's like every year.

Joe Rogan 44:40 Hypothermia does.

Neal Brennan 44:40 Yes.

Joe Rogan 44:40 But that's just because y- you know, people are unprepared for it. You can prepare for cold with clothing. You can't really prepare for heat with clothing. With heat, you need air conditioning and you need water. Those are two things that are critical.

Neal Brennan 44:40 Or at least shade.

Joe Rogan 44:40 Yeah, you need something. If you live in, like there's, uh, people that have lived in very cold climates, as long as they have a good house and they have a good supply of wood, they're fine. If you live in the desert, man, you're kinda fucked. You're kinda fucked if the power goes out.

Neal Brennan 44:40 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 44:40 You don't really have anything to keep you cool. You have to stay in the shade and stay indoors, but it's not good enough when it's 110 degrees inside and it's 125, 130 outside.

Neal Brennan 44:40 If you're hydrated though-

Joe Rogan 44:40 Yeah.

Neal Brennan 44:40 ... I don't think you will just die from ex- from heat exposure.

Joe Rogan 44:40 No, you won't, but you're not gonna find a lot of water. One of the problems with global warming is gonna be that things like lakes, lakes and streams are gonna, uh, there's gonna be less.

Neal Brennan 44:40 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 44:40 There's gonna be less water. There's gonna be less dribbling down to the creeks. Creeks are gonna dry up. L- streams will dry up. You're gonna have a hard time getting water if you're in a desert environment. But-

Neal Brennan 44:40 If you have, by, by the same token, if you have enough wat- you have as much water as you have wood, obviously the, it's not a one-to-one analogy 'cause you-

Joe Rogan 44:40 Mm-hmm.

Neal Brennan 44:40 ... h- can go get more wood easily.

Joe Rogan 44:40 Yeah.

Neal Brennan 44:40 But if you had a shit load of water, right?

Joe Rogan 44:40 Yeah.

Neal Brennan 44:40 If you just had, like... I, I hear your thought about getting cold, but I don't know. If I had shade, I guess you don't, I guess with cold, you don't n- have to have electricity.

Joe Rogan 44:40 You don't have to have electricity with cold, and also you have more of an opportunity to find animals. You'll find more animals in cold climates than you're gonna find in hot climates.

Neal Brennan 44:40 More delicious animals, for sure.

Joe Rogan 44:40 Yeah, yeah. More things to eat. But you might n- you could still eat a- easily starve to death. Like, the idea that it's easy to go out there and, and shoot a bunch of animals and eat them all the time, like, not most places. Most places you know have an abundant enough s- supply of wildlife.

Neal Brennan 44:40 You're also a guy who does archery, so fuckin'- (laughs)

Joe Rogan 44:40 Yeah. I know how to-

Neal Brennan 44:40 Like, you have skills for this, for this.

Joe Rogan 44:40 I would. Um, told me 10 years ago and it stuck with me, "Go to the marina." 'Cause I live in Venice. "Go to the marina and basically just get pa-" Basically, you gotta pay to get on a boat or just be like, "I will be..." The hard part is how do I qualify to, like, "I can help you." (laughs) Right, right.

Neal Brennan 44:40 Because I get seasick. Here's what I have going for me, seasick, queasy.

Joe Rogan 44:40 Why, why a boat?

Neal Brennan 44:40 'Cause you just get away. You get away from-

Joe Rogan 44:40 From LA?

Neal Brennan 44:40 ... anyone, you get away from, uh, in LA's case, millions and millions of people. And you can, if there's a attacker, you can see them, you assume that they're not gonna be like, you know, SEAL teams coming onto your boat.

Joe Rogan 44:40 Oh, Jesus, attackers.

Neal Brennan 44:40 Well, I know, but that's what I mean, like how crazy-

Joe Rogan 44:40 Could it get.

Neal Brennan 44:40 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 44:40 You gotta go to Alaska. That's the move.

Neal Brennan 44:40 How do you get there?

Joe Rogan 44:40 It's a good call.

Neal Brennan 44:40 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 44:40 I'm dig it. Can you drive?

Neal Brennan 44:40 Airport's closed. Airport, I mean, uh, or like-

Joe Rogan 44:40 I mean, it's connected, right? You could drive, right?

Neal Brennan 44:40 You could technically drive, yeah.

Joe Rogan 44:40 Technically?

Jamie Vernon 44:40 They cut off that road all the time in like the Napa Valley 'cause the landslide will shut off the road. Like, if that happens-

Joe Rogan 44:40 Oh, yeah.

Jamie Vernon 44:40 ... good luck. Where the fuck you gonna go?

Joe Rogan 44:40 Then you're fucked.

Neal Brennan 44:40 Yeah.

Jamie Vernon 44:40 Yeah, good luck.

Neal Brennan 44:40 It's like Burr's got the helicopter but he's, it's, he's gotta go to get it.

Joe Rogan 44:40 Yeah.

Neal Brennan 44:40 That's his escape. Uh-

Joe Rogan 44:40 He had a great bit about that in his black and white special.

Neal Brennan 44:42 Yeah. The-

Joe Rogan 44:44 Yeah, I would move north. I'd probably move somewhere that was, uh, if I could g- just go to a place, if I knew I just had to get to a place, I would go to a place that, uh, is sustainable. Like, uh, whether it's Alaska or Minnesota or Michigan, somewhere where there's a lot of animals and there's wildlife. And you have, you have cold, you have water, you have a lot... Like, cold is better than heat. Because cold you can make a fire. Like, if you have shelter and you can make a fire, in the cold you can live. With heat, you're fucked.

Neal Brennan 45:15 I have a, a counterargument which is I don't, I th- the cold kills more people than heat.

Joe Rogan 45:19 Sure it does, hypothermia it does.

Neal Brennan 45:20 Like, every year, yes.

Joe Rogan 45:21 But that's just because y- you know, people are unprepared for it. You can prepare for cold with clothing. You can't really prepare for heat with clothing. With heat, you need air conditioning and you need water. Those are two things that are critical.

Neal Brennan 45:34 Or at least shade.

Joe Rogan 45:35 Yeah, you need something. If you live in, like there's, people that have lived in very cold climates, as long as they have a good house and they have a good supply of wood, they're fine. If you live in the desert, man, you're kinda fucked. You're kinda fucked if the power goes out.

Neal Brennan 45:48 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 45:48 You don't really have anything to keep you cool. You have to stay in the shade and stay indoors, but it's not good enough when it's 110 degrees inside and it's 125, 130 outside.

Neal Brennan 45:55 If you're hydrated though, I don't think you will just die from ex- from heat exposure.

Joe Rogan 46:00 No, you won't, but you're not gonna find a lot of water. One of the problems with global warming is gonna be that things like lakes, lakes and streams are gonna, uh, there's gonna be less.

Neal Brennan 46:10 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 46:10 There's gonna be less water. There's gonna be less dribbling down to the creeks. Creeks are gonna dry up. L- streams will dry up. You're gonna have a hard time getting water if you're in a desert environment. But-

Neal Brennan 46:20 If you have, by, by the same token, if you have enough wat- you have as much water as you have wood, obviously the, it's not a one-to-one analogy 'cause you-

Joe Rogan 46:28 Mm-hmm.

Neal Brennan 46:29 ... can go get more wood easily.

Joe Rogan 46:31 Yeah.

Neal Brennan 46:31 But if you had a shit load of water, right?

Joe Rogan 46:33 Yeah.

Neal Brennan 46:33 If you just had like... I, I hear your thought about getting cold, but I don't know. If I had shade, I guess you don't, I guess with cold, you don't n- have to have electricity.

Joe Rogan 46:45 You don't have to have electricity with cold, and also you have more of an opportunity to find animals. You'll find more animals in cold climates than you're gonna find in hot climates.

Neal Brennan 46:54 More delicious animals, for sure.

Joe Rogan 46:55 Yeah, yeah. More things to eat. But you might n- you could still eat a- easily starve to death. Like, the idea that it's easy to go out there and, and shoot a bunch of animals and eat them all the time, like, not most places. Most places you don't have an abundant enough s- supply of wildlife.

Neal Brennan 47:10 You're also a guy who does archery, so fuckin'- (laughs)

Joe Rogan 47:13 Yeah, I know how to-

Neal Brennan 47:14 Like, you have skills for this, for this.

Joe Rogan 47:15 I would. Um, told me 10 years ago and it stuck with me, "Go to the marina." 'Cause I live in Venice. "Go to the marina and basically just get pa- " Basically, you gotta pay to get on a boat or just be like, "I will be..." The hard part is how do I qualify to, like, "I can help you." (laughs)

Neal Brennan 47:23 Right.

Joe Rogan 47:24 Because I get seasick. Here's what I have going for me, seasick, queasy.

Neal Brennan 47:26 Why, why a boat?

Joe Rogan 47:26 'Cause you just get away. You get away from-

Neal Brennan 47:27 From LA?

Joe Rogan 47:27 ... anyone, you get away from, uh, in LA's case, millions and millions of people. And you can, if there's a attacker, you can see them. You assume that they're not gonna be like, you know, SEAL teams coming onto your boat. Oh, Jesus, attackers.

Neal Brennan 48:15 Well, I know, but that's what I mean, like how crazy-

Joe Rogan 48:26 Could it get.

Neal Brennan 48:26 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 48:26 You gotta go to Alaska. That's the move.

Neal Brennan 48:42 How do you get there?

Joe Rogan 48:43 It's a good call.

Neal Brennan 48:46 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 48:46 I'm dig it. Can you drive?

Neal Brennan 48:46 Airport's closed. Airport, I mean, uh, or like-

Joe Rogan 48:46 I mean, it's connected, right? You could drive, right?

Neal Brennan 48:46 You could technically drive, yeah.

Joe Rogan 48:46 Technically?

Jamie Vernon 48:46 They cut off that road all the time in like the Napa Valley 'cause the landslide will shut off the road. Like, if that happens-

Joe Rogan 48:46 Oh, yeah.

Jamie Vernon 48:46 ... good luck. Where the fuck you gonna go?

Joe Rogan 48:46 Then you're fucked.

Neal Brennan 48:46 Yeah.

Jamie Vernon 48:46 Yeah, good luck.

Neal Brennan 48:46 It's like Burr's got the helicopter but he's, it's,... there, meaning, like, you just have to be, like, "I'm doing a thing."

Joe Rogan 48:52 Yep. Yeah.

Neal Brennan 48:52 Like, you can't think about the release.

Joe Rogan 48:55 Mm-hmm.

Neal Brennan 48:55 You have to just think about the target.

Joe Rogan 48:57 That's very astute of you. There's actually s- courses. There's a guy named, um, Joel Turner who has this whole course called, uh, Shot IQ. He's a, he teaches, um, um, first responders, like SWAT teams and shit-

Neal Brennan 49:10 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 49:10 ... about trigger discipline and about h- how to, how to shoot properly under pressure. And, uh, he works with people with archery for this, with the same thing, 'cause it's a s- it's a psychological thing to be able to b- But my point is, with a bow and arrow, you're kinda fucked. You, you need a lotta goddamn arrows. You n- You need to make sure that bow's gonna stay okay. With a rifle-

Neal Brennan 49:29 And edible too.

Joe Rogan 49:30 Yeah.

Neal Brennan 49:30 Like, like a deer.

Joe Rogan 49:31 Mm-hmm.

Neal Brennan 49:32 Well, deer, deer or bear would be, like, the most edible things?

Joe Rogan 49:34 Yeah, you want a bear. If you have a bear, you could eat that motherfucker for a long time. And you could take that fat and you could render the fat down and use it for cooking and use it for ... You know, you could do, do a lot of things with it. And that meat is a lotta meat. Anything big. You want a big animal, because you wanna be able to dry it out, make jerky. You wanna have something that's gonna sustain you for a few days or weeks until you find another animal. You're gonna wanna dig a hole in the ground to make some sort of cold storage. You wanna get below, like, the frost line.

Neal Brennan 50:01 Yeah, 'cause you gotta, you gotta protect it from other bears.

Joe Rogan 50:03 Yeah, yeah, you gotta, you're gonna have to do a lot of things. And you're probably not gonna m- make enough food.

Neal Brennan 50:07 It sounds hard. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 50:08 It's the hardest. The i- th- ug- Every time I go on a hunting trip, I always think, like, "Imagine if this is the only way I could get food."

Neal Brennan 50:16 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 50:16 It's so goddamn hard to f- get close to an animal. It's so hard.

Neal Brennan 50:21 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 50:21 People see videos of it, like on YouTube. And there's the deer, and you draw your bow back and you hit it in the heart! And the deer's down and everybody celebrates.

Neal Brennan 50:28 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 50:28 What you don't see is days and days-

Neal Brennan 50:30 Yeah, waiting.

Joe Rogan 50:31 ... of hiking all day long just go ... If you could watch from a live stream of the moment a hunt start to the moment you're successful, and you just sat through the whole thing like it was a fucking Games of Thrones marathon, then you would understand it. But e- even then, you wouldn't really, 'cause you wouldn't be out there in the cold, exhausted-

Neal Brennan 50:50 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 50:50 ... hiking uphill, going thousands of feet up and down in elevation.

Neal Brennan 50:54 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 50:54 And then the wind shifts and the deer smells you and it darts off, and you're like, "Fuck!"

Neal Brennan 50:59 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 50:59 It's hard, man.

Neal Brennan 51:00 It's, like, tedious.

Joe Rogan 51:01 And to survive off of that ... See, I'm doing it for my own food, but if I don't get a deer, I'm gonna live. I'll go to a restaurant. If you're, if your only option is deer that you catch and kill and find and shoot-

Neal Brennan 51:14 And your daughter's sick.

Joe Rogan 51:15 Oh my God.

Neal Brennan 51:16 And you gotta fucking catch a deer. (sighs) Um-

Joe Rogan 51:20 That's when you, that's when you wonder. You know, you wonder, "How am I gonna w- Am I gonna watch them starve to death?"

Neal Brennan 51:24 That must've been really exciting for Native Americans, or just-

Joe Rogan 51:27 (sighs) Oh ...

Neal Brennan 51:27 ... any ancient people, of just like getting, like, ki- like, "You know, I think we could kill a buffalo."

Joe Rogan 51:34 Yeah, right?

Neal Brennan 51:35 If we all, like, we all have to be fed, like, we all have to team up. And that's why humans have survived, but like, it must've been so fucking, like, a celebration, like an Ewok celebration.

Joe Rogan 51:47 Oh, yeah. You know what's crazy? To this day, there are these areas where they find a lot of arrowheads-

Neal Brennan 51:52 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 51:53 ... because they would drive these buffalo off cliffs.

Neal Brennan 51:55 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 51:56 How fucking nuts is that? Like-

Neal Brennan 51:58 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 51:58 ... they know the spots where they would drive 'em off cliffs and fall down. And sometimes, the bodies would decay, 'cause they didn't eat all of it.

Neal Brennan 52:06 Right.

Joe Rogan 52:06 They couldn't. The- d- j- a hundred buffalo fly off a cliff.

Neal Brennan 52:08 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 52:08 There's only a thousand Native Americans-

Neal Brennan 52:10 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 52:10 ... in this spot, what the fuck are they gonna do?

Neal Brennan 52:12 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 52:12 They're gonna eat as much as they can.

Neal Brennan 52:13 How are we gonna get rid of this meat? (laughs)

Joe Rogan 52:14 But the rotten ones literally exploded and caused a forest fire in one area. They think a forest fire was caused by a rotting pile of buffalo that eventually exploded.

Neal Brennan 52:27 Like a whale explosion kinda thing?

Joe Rogan 52:28 Yeah, like that kinda deal. P- Google that and make sure that's not horse shit-

Neal Brennan 52:31 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 52:31 ... 'cause it sounds like a lie coming out of my mouth. They believe that a rotting pile of bison was responsible for starting a fire. Yeah, because that's how they ... 'cause they found, like, all this charred, like, stuff, and they're like ... They were trying to piece it together, if I remember the story properly. And I think they were like, "This might've happened because the bodies rotted so much they exploded."

Neal Brennan 52:55 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 52:55 And it started ... Fuck, 'cause it's like, you know the gases-

Neal Brennan 52:58 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 52:58 ... from all this rotting tissue, like ... You know whales explode on the beach, they splatter on people.

Neal Brennan 53:03 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 53:03 Yeah.

Neal Brennan 53:03 Fantastic.

Joe Rogan 53:04 So they're trying to take this to a next level. Like, how much heat would be generated by all this bacteria? Like, what kind of explosion could this make?

Neal Brennan 53:12 Yeah, and also, why would the explosion c- Is it a spark?

Joe Rogan 53:15 Yeah.

Neal Brennan 53:16 Do you know what I mean?

Joe Rogan 53:16 Yeah, what caused it.

Neal Brennan 53:17 Like, I would assume it's gooey.

Joe Rogan 53:18 Methane gases and rotten gases.

Neal Brennan 53:22 Yeah, like there would have to be some- something to ignite it.

Joe Rogan 53:25 You know those little, um, uh, arrowheads that they find, you're supposed to leave them in a lot of places. If you find them, you're supposed to leave them there.

Neal Brennan 53:32 Just for, like, luck or something?

Joe Rogan 53:33 Pfft. For y- you go fuck yourself. I ain't leaving shit.

Neal Brennan 53:36 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 53:36 If I find an arrowhead, like, "Oh, you have to leave it." It's a car-

Neal Brennan 53:39 I know where it's going, it's fucking going up there.

Joe Rogan 53:40 Yeah, where is it going? Like, where is it-

Neal Brennan 53:42 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 53:42 If I leave it, someone else is gonna pick it up.

Neal Brennan 53:43 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 53:44 I'm picking it up.

Neal Brennan 53:44 Do you think ... Yeah, a good m- Have a good person pick it up.

Joe Rogan 53:47 You have to leave it. You have to leave it here.

Neal Brennan 53:48 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 53:48 No, no, no, you can't have it. You are-

Neal Brennan 53:50 Is that, like, the Parks Commissions or Native American Commissions?

Joe Rogan 53:52 I don't know, when I was hunting in Nevada they said that. If you found a- an arrowhead, you had to leave it there. I was like, "Huh, (panting) okay. Yeah."

Neal Brennan 53:59 Oh, you know what I haven't talked to you about?

Joe Rogan 54:00 What?

Neal Brennan 54:00 The, uh, doing these big venues.

Joe Rogan 54:04 Oh, arenas, yeah.

Neal Brennan 54:05 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 54:05 It's weird.

Neal Brennan 54:05 How do you like it?

Joe Rogan 54:07 It's fun, man. San Diego was a lot of fun. It's, um, it's strange though. It's a lotta goddamn people.

Neal Brennan 54:13 Does it feel, like, disconnected?

Joe Rogan 54:17 No. No, it didn't, surprisingly. San Diego's interesting, like, the people that were in the front, they were right there, man. It was like a store.

Neal Brennan 54:23 How many is it? 7,000?

Joe Rogan 54:24 No, San Diego was 12 something, almost 13.

Neal Brennan 54:30 Thousand?

Joe Rogan 54:30 Close to 13,000, yeah.

Neal Brennan 54:32 It's unbelievable.

Joe Rogan 54:32 Yeah, it's a lotta people.

Neal Brennan 54:34 And it was in the round?

Joe Rogan 54:36 (yawns) Yeah. That was weird too.

Neal Brennan 54:38 And did you have a plan?

Joe Rogan 54:40 Nope.

Neal Brennan 54:41 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 54:42 (laughs)

Neal Brennan 54:42 But (laughs) you know, 'cause like, do you fee-

Joe Rogan 54:45 I did a lot of sets.

Neal Brennan 54:45 I guess you can't really think about ... You can't worry about the people that are behind you.

Joe Rogan 54:49 You can't. You gotta ... Well, they have giant screens everywhere.

Neal Brennan 54:51 Right.

Joe Rogan 54:52 So you get, everybody got to see you. Um-... I, I definitely was aware of the magnitude of the show, and I did a lot of sets that week. I did like eight, nine sets-

Neal Brennan 55:01 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 55:01 ... that week before I did it. Like long sets.

Neal Brennan 55:02 The funny thing was I didn't understand. I was like, "How is he not selling this out?" And then I saw a big event. (laughs) It was like, "Oh, it's a fucking arena."

Joe Rogan 55:10 Yeah.

Neal Brennan 55:10 I was like, "I thought Joe was as popular as he's ever been." And then I'm like, "Why is this guy posting so much?" And then I'm like, "Oh, 'cause it's a... he's doing a stadium."

Joe Rogan 55:17 Giant-ass place. Yeah.

Neal Brennan 55:18 Uh-

Joe Rogan 55:18 It's hard to get that last, last thousand. (laughs)

Neal Brennan 55:21 I know. And you're still at-

Joe Rogan 55:22 Yeah.

Neal Brennan 55:23 ... you can't... The... I don't know if it's the human mind or like the competitive comedy mind, but like-

Joe Rogan 55:28 Can't leave it alone.

Neal Brennan 55:28 ... you want that fucking thousand. Like-

Joe Rogan 55:30 Yeah. You wanna hear sold out.

Neal Brennan 55:32 You... Yeah. Like, doesn't like-

Joe Rogan 55:34 Yeah.

Neal Brennan 55:34 "Yeah, but you don't wanna go sell Joe Rogan 12,000 people." "Yeah. But what's it hold?" It's like...

Joe Rogan 55:39 12,900.

Neal Brennan 55:40 Yeah. Oh, what a pussy.

Joe Rogan 55:41 What, you can't even get 900 more people who like you, bro?

Neal Brennan 55:44 Yeah. And you would kind... Not you would think it's a failure, but you would always be like, "Yeah."

Joe Rogan 55:48 Josh Wolf showed me a picture once of him on stage opening up for Larry the Cable Guy in front of 50,000.

Neal Brennan 55:54 Jesus.

Joe Rogan 55:54 He did a football stadium. (laughs)

Neal Brennan 55:57 Jesus.

Joe Rogan 55:58 Get 'er done.

Neal Brennan 55:59 Well, that's what Kevin Hart does those big... I mean-

Joe Rogan 56:01 Oh, uh, he did his, uh, one of his Netflix specials-

Neal Brennan 56:04 Yeah, like-

Joe Rogan 56:04 ... with like 49,000 people.

Neal Brennan 56:06 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 56:06 Something fucking insane.

Neal Brennan 56:07 If... I mean, that... I wouldn't wanna see that sh-

Joe Rogan 56:09 Just weird.

Neal Brennan 56:09 I wouldn't wanna go to that third balcony. Like, what are you even... I mean, I don't know.

Joe Rogan 56:16 But-

Neal Brennan 56:16 I g- people like communal experiences like that.

Joe Rogan 56:18 Yes. I think that's a good way to put it.

Neal Brennan 56:19 Um, but, like, uh, when a venue's 50,000, you're just far away.

Joe Rogan 56:25 Yeah.

Neal Brennan 56:26 But I guess if you like the-

Joe Rogan 56:27 But these giant-ass screens, and everyone's in there together.

Neal Brennan 56:31 It's... You've created a culture, so people go to be a part of the culture. Kevin's created a culture. Larry the Cable Guy created a culture. So people go. It's like to be around their brothers and sisters kind of.

Joe Rogan 56:42 Whoa.

Neal Brennan 56:42 Kind of?

Joe Rogan 56:43 It's heavy.

Neal Brennan 56:43 I mean, straight up though. Li- I... Not like it's even intentional. That's the thing I like about podcasting as a successful medium and your podcast in particular, is like, the shit you're... You're into comedy, you're into fucking weed, you're into UFOs and the unexplained.

Joe Rogan 57:04 (laughs)

Neal Brennan 57:04 You're into government conspiracies. You're into, uh, gender issues. You're, you're legitimately into all this stuff, and you created a tent where everybody feels like welcome, like, "Hey, he's gonna talk about the thing that I've g-" Like, you're interested in a lot of shit. Genuinely, you're not going, "I'm only interested in comedy or, or more niche about it." You just like... This is what you're into.

Joe Rogan 57:27 Yeah.

Neal Brennan 57:27 You're into inventions and fire and guns and hunting. You're just into a bunch of shit legitimately, and you express it, and people love it.

Joe Rogan 57:36 Well, that's the difference between actually being into shit and talking about the things you're into versus talking about the things you think will be popular.

Neal Brennan 57:43 Right. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 57:44 Yeah.

Neal Brennan 57:45 You kinda... You can't, you can't do that for... I guess you c- I can't think of anyone-

Joe Rogan 57:50 Probably could, but you'd get-

Neal Brennan 57:51 ... off the top of your... off the top of my head who that would be, but-

Joe Rogan 57:54 It would be obvious that you weren't really tuned in. You wouldn't be really interested in it. You're not... Y- y- you wouldn't be as enthusiastic in a way.

Neal Brennan 58:01 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 58:01 Yeah.

Neal Brennan 58:01 And you are genuinely... You only have on people that you genuinely like-

Joe Rogan 58:06 Yeah.

Neal Brennan 58:06 ... or are genuinely interested in, and doesn't matter if they're famous, not famous, like, whatever, s- controversial, not controversial. Like, it's just shit that you're into. You're expressing... It's the, the th- Another reason why I like podcasts, it's like watching someone exist.

Joe Rogan 58:26 Yeah, right.

Neal Brennan 58:26 And it's like an expression of your s- subconscious or your, your brain. Like, it's like the typical day in your brain of just like, "I like this," and then I go over here, and then I... And you, and you've been able to like do it in a way which is why it's so popular. It's like it is popular, but it's not even the right word. It's like resonant with people.

Joe Rogan 58:47 Yeah. I think for a long time people have been doing shows where the show is produced, and there's a bunch of people behind the scenes. And whatever that person is, it- it's- it's almost more difficult for them to get their personality to shine through all that shit. But if it's just stuff that you're really interested in-

Neal Brennan 59:07 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 59:08 ... then people get a- get a better sense.

Neal Brennan 59:09 And it's also people you like. And then Segura takes off.

Joe Rogan 59:11 Yeah. Yep.

Neal Brennan 59:11 And Bert takes off and, uh... Who, who am I forgetting? The Joey takes off. I didn't know how long you'd been friends with Joey. Like I-

Joe Rogan 59:18 Joey and I have been friends for 23 years.

Neal Brennan 59:21 Yeah. Theo, like guys that-

Joe Rogan 59:23 Yeah.

Neal Brennan 59:23 ... you just genuinely like. Like that they're just kind of like... Even the, the, the, like the Sober October thing or like... It's... You know, the numbers are massive.

Joe Rogan 59:33 Yeah.

Neal Brennan 59:34 (laughs) It's because it's just... It's like a show. It's like a... I know it's... Everybody's a character, and it's like an old radio play.

Joe Rogan 59:41 (laughs)

Neal Brennan 59:41 Like here comes fucking Bert Kreischer. He think... He's got something called the Mickey Mantle gene. What the hell is the Mickey Mantle gene? Mickey Mantle. Like everybody's got like... It's set up, and it's, it's not like... It's sloppy in a fun way.

Joe Rogan 59:55 Yeah.

Neal Brennan 59:55 And, uh, and it's cool, and you get to reap all the reward. All the guys that are responsible for the... 'Cause the other thing is so many t- This is the first time like in, in certainly in media history where guys are in charge of their own everything.

Joe Rogan 1:00:11 Yeah.

Neal Brennan 1:00:12 Like-

Joe Rogan 1:00:12 That's true.

Neal Brennan 1:00:13 ... you own the lab- I mean, there's not even a label. It's just my thing. There... Artists tried. Like the Beatles had a record label, and they would bring people on, and then they would... It- they- it always got fucked up.

Joe Rogan 1:00:26 Mmm.

Neal Brennan 1:00:27 Every single time. And this I feel like is the first time where it's like Segura's got like, you know, his umbrella now. He's got like his o- he's got his spinoffs. And, uh, it's fucking excellent.

Joe Rogan 1:00:41 Yeah.

Neal Brennan 1:00:41 It's just excellent.

Joe Rogan 1:00:43 It's an amazing time.

Neal Brennan 1:00:43 It's so great. I was talking to a, a guy who used to be in charge at, at, uh, Viacom, and we were talking about-... you know, when they- when people do shows now, like, you know, they'll pay, uh, Kenny Barris or they'll pay Shonda Rhimes or they'll pay Dave, Ellen, Chris, all these guys, like, 20 million. The writers get 100. Buddy of mine, Mike Schur, created Good Place and, um, Parks and Rec, and he's getting 25 mil a year for the next five years.

Joe Rogan 1:01:09 Jesus-

Neal Brennan 1:01:10 Yeah, like-

Joe Rogan 1:01:11 ... Christ.

Neal Brennan 1:01:11 (laughs) And his shows aren't-

Joe Rogan 1:01:12 Whoo!

Neal Brennan 1:01:13 ... hits. His hard- his shows are picked up and successful, but they're not like Cheers, right?

Joe Rogan 1:01:19 Wow.

Neal Brennan 1:01:20 Um, and I said to Doug Herzog, the guy from Fu- I go, "How much were you fucking guys making before?" What were these, what were these companies making 20 years ago? Like, what was ABC making 20 years ago that they- and they- even Seinfeld said that he- he's like, "I was the first one to get 100, uh, uh, million an episode." And I go, "Which is a pittance compared to what they could have paid you." And he's like, "I know that now, but back then, $1 million in-" uh.

Joe Rogan 1:01:51 (laughs)

Neal Brennan 1:01:51 What? What are you even gonna do with it? And now it's like, what are they gonna do with it?

Joe Rogan 1:01:57 Right.

Neal Brennan 1:01:57 What the fuck are- they were making- they were making 100 million an episode, but because it's a logo and a corporation, you go, "Well, that's what a corporation is supposed to make, $100 million an episode." Meanwhile, if a guy makes a million, you're like, "What are you gonna-" it's like this unfathomable thing. It's like where they get mad at basketball players and not the owners of the teams.

Joe Rogan 1:02:16 Yeah, and- and it's also that distribution model of, like, putting something on a network. It's- there's so much fat, there's so many people-

Neal Brennan 1:02:24 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:02:24 ... there's so many things that you have to pay.

Neal Brennan 1:02:26 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:02:27 There's so much- so many different places the money goes. It's almost like you have to make $100 million an episode for everybody to make out.

Neal Brennan 1:02:34 Yeah, but also, no, they don't. But also-

Joe Rogan 1:02:37 Yeah.

Neal Brennan 1:02:37 ... they're still taking 90.

Joe Rogan 1:02:38 Yeah.

Neal Brennan 1:02:39 You know what I mean?

Joe Rogan 1:02:39 Yeah.

Neal Brennan 1:02:40 Even with all the revenues, uh, with all, like, the- the- the, uh, all the mouths they gotta feed, it's still, like, a huge profit.

Joe Rogan 1:02:47 But as a writer, don't you think that, like, investing your time and effort into a sitcom today, it's like, whoof, good luck with that?

Neal Brennan 1:02:53 I don't- dude, I- like, I just started d- I- we used to do the podcast, me and Moshe, we did this podcast called The Champs, it was great. And, uh, and now I just started one, like, a month ago called How Neil Failed. Look for it in your local things. Um-

Joe Rogan 1:03:06 How Neil Failed?

Neal Brennan 1:03:07 And- How Neil Failed, that's the name of the podcast (laughs) .

Joe Rogan 1:03:09 (laughs) .

Neal Brennan 1:03:09 Got a theme song and everything. It's very stupid.

Joe Rogan 1:03:11 I like it.

Neal Brennan 1:03:11 Um, but it was- I was like, "Why am I trying-" I did a- a pilot, like, a year ago for a network, and they gave me notes, and I was like, "Oh, I forgot about notes." I forgot that they were gonna give me notes. Like, ugh.

Joe Rogan 1:03:26 Ugh.

Neal Brennan 1:03:26 Like, I don't- just let me- that was always the thing that me and Dave got into with Comedy Central, and they finally left us alone after, like, six episodes, where I was like, "Let us show it to the audience-"

Joe Rogan 1:03:37 Yeah.

Neal Brennan 1:03:37 "... and let them dec- we don't wanna bomb. We wanna bomb less than you guys do, trust me."

Joe Rogan 1:03:44 (laughs) . Trust me, you've never met two people who wanna bomb less-

Jamie Vernon 1:03:47 Right.

Neal Brennan 1:03:48 ... than me and him. And so they'd be like, "Well, we don't-" and we're like, "Let's show it to the crowd. If they like it, then great. And if they don't, then-" And we sh- they- then we did this real world sketch, and they didn't- they were like, "We just think it's a bunch of unfunny scenes back to back." And we were like, "Let's just show it to the crowd," and then we showed it, killed, and they were like, "All right, we don't know what we're talking about." They literally said, "We don't know what we're