Joe Rogan Experience #1319 - Joey Diaz

1. 0:01 – 1:16

   Gay Pride jokes, allyship, and everyday acceptance

   1. JRJoe Rogan0:01

      Do, do, do, do, do. Joey motherfucking Diaz.

   2. JDJoey Diaz0:06

      What's up, brother?

   3. JRJoe Rogan0:07

      What's happening, baby?

   4. JDJoey Diaz0:08

      I'm just, on the drive up here, I was thinking about all the busted assholes that are in the hospital today from the gay pride parade yesterday.

   5. JRJoe Rogan0:14

      (laughs)

   6. JDJoey Diaz0:14

      Can you imagine how many guys went down there just to say hello-

   7. JRJoe Rogan0:17

      (laughs)

   8. JDJoey Diaz0:17

      ... and ended up getting fucked in the ass by the states?

   9. JRJoe Rogan0:19

      They had a good time.

   10. JDJoey Diaz0:20

       Bro, let me tell you something. That was one of the biggest turnouts. My friend went, and he said he had a fucking blast.

   11. JRJoe Rogan0:26

       I'm sure.

   12. JDJoey Diaz0:26

       One of my gorilla buddies said he had a blast. Blast. Gay people are great in fucking New York, all over.

   13. JRJoe Rogan0:31

       Everywhere.

   14. JDJoey Diaz0:32

       Everywhere.

   15. JRJoe Rogan0:32

       They, they're celebrating. They can be free.

   16. JDJoey Diaz0:34

       I loved it.

   17. JRJoe Rogan0:34

       They can be who they are.

   18. JDJoey Diaz0:35

       I loved it. But-

   19. JRJoe Rogan0:35

       Anybody who's got a problem with that is crazy.

   20. JDJoey Diaz0:37

       But on the dark side, let's talk about the facts here. Couple confused little young white dudes-

   21. JRJoe Rogan0:42

       (laughs)

   22. JDJoey Diaz0:43

       ... went down there yesterday. "Sure, I'll go have a drink. Uh."

   23. JRJoe Rogan0:46

       Yeah. Some guys who just wanted to be an ally, ally to the gay folks. "I just want ... You know, I'm not gay, but, uh, I am your ally." Next thing you know, old Jed's a millionaire. (laughs)

   24. JDJoey Diaz0:57

       (laughs) What's up, brother?

   25. JRJoe Rogan0:58

       That's what guys have to remember. Gay dudes are dudes. It's, they, all same rules apply. All same rules of scumbaggery that apply to men apply to gay men. (laughs)

   26. JDJoey Diaz1:06

       Yeah, there's, like, three types of gay guys.

   27. NANarrator1:08

       They'll get you. Yeah.

   28. JDJoey Diaz1:08

       There's gay guys that aren't interested.

   29. JRJoe Rogan1:11

       Yeah.

   30. JDJoey Diaz1:11

       There's gay guys that are semi-interested, and there are gay guys that live to convert you.

2. 1:16 – 8:59

   Transgender neighbors, family experiences, and the sports fairness debate

   1. JRJoe Rogan1:16

      It hurts my feelings as a 51-year-old man that that's still a big deal, that anyone cares at all. It really does. It does. It hurts my feelings, 'cause I thought that by the time I was a f- fucking middle-aged 51-year-old father that we'd be done with that. People wouldn't care if other people were gay. Like, whoa. Of all the shit to worry about, of all the shit in the world to worry about, you're worrying about guys who like guys? Like, what do you give a fuck? And they always go Biblical. They always go Biblical. Like, it's always that, "If God wanted that, it'd be in the Bible." Uh, that is ... That shit drives me crazy.

   2. JDJoey Diaz1:55

      Where I lived in my old house in North Hollywood, there was a gay couple across the street, two dudes. One was a pilot for a major airline, and he was in the process, and the other guy got fired from Target for being a transgender. This goes back to 2010. And they had cats. You know me, dog, I talked to the guys about cats. There was an old guy down the block that would come over and talk to me, like, "You can't talk to them." Old white dude, like, "You can't talk to them."

   3. JRJoe Rogan2:23

      Why?

   4. JDJoey Diaz2:23

      "You can't encourage that in that neighborhood. I don't want two more of those fucking assholes moving here." And I go, "They're out here feeding fucking homeless cats." What's the ... You know what I'm saying?

   5. JRJoe Rogan2:33

      Right.

   6. JDJoey Diaz2:34

      To this day, whenever I go to my old neighborhood and I see them outside, I pull over. I talk to them, say hello. They're just two sweet people trying to be fucking ...

   7. JRJoe Rogan2:43

      Just being who they are.

   8. JDJoey Diaz2:43

      Trying to be who the fuck they are. And we make jokes. Aye, I make jokes for the whole thing. But at the end of the day, I learned the hard way. And I talked about it on stage the other night. You were there when I said that my daughter invited me to a party.

   9. JRJoe Rogan2:55

      Yeah.

   10. JDJoey Diaz2:55

       That she went to school with a kid and his parents are transgender, and I felt kind of weird, and I went. And on the way out, I looked at the kid. I seen 60 transgender people that co- that come from a community.

   11. JRJoe Rogan3:07

       Yeah.

   12. JDJoey Diaz3:07

       And I saw this little kid smiling. I go, "I'm adopted." That kid's adopted. Look what they're doing for that kid. They, they're making him a life, like. And I closed the door, and I went in, and I ... And like I said in the joke, I hugged the lead tranny.

   13. JRJoe Rogan3:21

       (laughs)

   14. JDJoey Diaz3:21

       And now we're fucking tight. That's it. I eat the food, you know?

   15. JRJoe Rogan3:24

       Nice. Yeah, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. The only time it matters with me is with sports. Just stop with that. Just stop with that, and we're, we're gonna be fine. But the ci- ... Look, there's some statistic, see if this is true, um, that someone sent me that out of the 14 states that allow, uh, high school kids to compete as the gender that they, they identify with rather than their biological gender, in those 14 states, transgender students are just dominating. Transgender male to female, they're just dominating. Just, they're winning everything. It's, it's (laughs) crazy.

   16. JDJoey Diaz4:03

       I know you have problems with the boxer.

   17. JRJoe Rogan4:05

       I have problems with all of the whole-

   18. JDJoey Diaz4:06

       I, I ... Oh, your retweet is one of them.

   19. JRJoe Rogan4:08

       ... all of the sports, all of it, when it, when it comes to, like, power sports. Like, I'm not sure they've done the work here. I don't ... Like, this idea that every trans ... Like, they use the excuse of outliers, and the outliers are there's some, like, super athletes, right? Like, you can get a regular girl who weighs 145 pounds, or you can get, you know, a Ronda Rousey who weighs 145 pounds. You know, there's like, there's extreme athletes that are ... There's people that are different, right? Like, Serena Williams is clearly a different level of athlete than a regular person. Right? A regular girl who, who's like her weight, she's just su- superior. And I think that that is what you see-

   20. JDJoey Diaz4:48

       (coughs)

   21. JRJoe Rogan4:48

       ... with some of these transgender athletes that come over to become women. They say, well, they're no different than a, like, an Ann Wolfe, who is like a superior athlete female boxer. You ever see Ann Wolfe knock girls out?

   22. JDJoey Diaz5:01

       No.

   23. JRJoe Rogan5:01

       Dude. Dude. She haymakers this chick with her right hand, it's like one of the most brutal one-punch knockouts you've ever seen, men or women. Perfect technique. Boom! Just waylays this girl. Timber! She falls out cold. And there's not a whole lot of women, other than maybe Amanda Nunes, but Amanda Nunes is doing it with them little gloves on. I w- I wonder if she would be able to do it like that with those big gloves. I think she probably could, 'cause she hits that goddamn hard. But w- you know, you gotta l- judge each sport by, uh, you know, the, the r- like, we see if Paulie Malignaggi goes over to bare knuckle boxing, he doesn't do that well in comparison to, say, like, if somebody, like, you know, like a really good high-level striker with knockout power with the big gloves on. Would you put ... Like, if you put Deontay Wilder in little gloves, I would, uh, I don't imagine anybody being able to take that. He's fucking people up, uh, like a heavyweight with those big gloves. So it's a different thing.You know? So who the fuck knows? But, eh, the, the idea is the outlier. The outlier, like the, the, if you, you get one superior athlete, and then you have them sort of commensurate with a transgender athlete, like a guy who is an athlete who became a woman at, you know, in his 30s, and they dis- identifies, goes through the surgery. But how much benefit does he take of having testosterone flow through his body for 30 plus years? We really don't know. It doesn't mean you hate transgender people. (clears throat) It doesn't mean you don't love everyone. It doesn't mean you don't want everyone to live their life and, and be whoever they wanna be with t- total freedom. I don't think we have... We have males compete against males for a reason, 'cause we feel like it's more fair, even though it's not. Like it's not more fair if I'm playing basketball against Michael Jordan. That's not fair. He's better. (laughs) You know, he's a better athlete. There's, there's people that are just gonna be way better than you no matter what you do. Like if I had trained all my life to be a better basketball player than Michael Jordan, it's not even physically possible, right? So there's outliers in males. But when the outliers, when there's so many, you have to u- uh, when you see so many transgender athletes that are dominating in sports, and then when you add combat sports, j- which is how I got involved in this, when a woman was doing that, who was a transgender woman, and just not telling anybody and saying it was a medical issue. Like, well, that's fucking crazy. We all, we know... W- w- we wanna pretend that everyone's equal. You know, we want inclusiveness and we want peace, we want everyone to get along, we want equality, we want gender equality. Okay, I get it. I see where you're going. But we also have to look at reality. The reality is, there, there's, there's fucking giant physical differences. These transgender athletes are dominating against women who are d- born a woman. They have to be a woman their whole life. They never have 30 years of testosterone through their, through them, flowing through their veins. It's like doing steroids for 30 years and then stopping. It's crazy. That's what I think.

   24. JDJoey Diaz8:01

       You're p- you're freaking me out. You know, I just smoked some reefer - Before I hit the -

   25. JRJoe Rogan8:04

       Me too, man. How did you get me on this subject?

   26. JDJoey Diaz8:07

       You're freaking me out. I don't even know how the fuck we got on the subject.

   27. JRJoe Rogan8:08

       Oh, transgender people. But, but, but as human beings, I love them all. I love everybody. Dude, E- Eddie Izzard is one of my favorite guests of all time. He's so interesting. He's been transgender since '85, I believe he said. Um, prefers women, likes women. He's not, not a gay fellow. Just likes dressing up as a woman. And, uh, extremely intelligent. Very interesting.

   28. JDJoey Diaz8:31

       That fucking... That special on HBO-

   29. JRJoe Rogan8:33

       Very unique.

   30. JDJoey Diaz8:33

       ... 15 years ago was mind-boggling.
3. 8:59 – 9:04

   Eddie Izzard appreciation and Joey’s apology—leading into classic comedy films

   1. JDJoey Diaz8:59

      Speaking about special people, I gotta apologize to you for something.

   2. JRJoe Rogan9:03

      For me?

4. 9:04 – 17:04

   Why 'The Blues Brothers' feels like nonstop comedy and a lost era of filmmaking

   1. JDJoey Diaz9:04

      Because I've always had this discrepancy. Last night, I went out for a little while, I got home, I had a couple numbers in me. I grabbed the fucking apple, I sat on the couch to unwind, and I put the TV on, and in front of me was The Blues Brothers.

   2. JRJoe Rogan9:19

      Ooh.

   3. JDJoey Diaz9:19

      When was the last time you watched The Blues Brothers? I don't know. So the scene that opens up is them at the restaurant when he's trying to talk the maitre d into joining the band. And there's a family next to him, a husband, a wife, and three daughters. And the guy's telling him, "I'm not gonna join the band." So he goes, "Really? You're not gonna join the band?" He takes a bottle of champagne and he goes over to the table and he goes, "Sir, how much for the little girls?" (laughs) I wasn't ready for that. I just lost it. Right? And he's like, "Sir, how much for the little girls?" And the guy's like, "What?" And he goes, "For the women. I want to pay you for the women." And the guy's like, you know, "W- um, sir, sir." He turns around. The guy comes over, breaks his balls again. He fucking turns over to the guy again and he goes, "Sir, how much for the wife?" (laughs) "How much for your wife?" The g-

   4. JRJoe Rogan10:15

      Oh, I remember this scene.

   5. JDJoey Diaz10:16

      Thi- this is cra-

   6. JRJoe Rogan10:17

      (laughs)

   7. JDJoey Diaz10:17

      This is crazy.

   8. JRJoe Rogan10:18

      This is craziness. This would never happen today. With mouths full of food and Dan Aykroyd continues eating in the background, like-

   9. JDJoey Diaz10:25

      That dog. And Dan, we gotta talk about Dan Aykroyd, 'cause he's been like a hemorrhoid. He's the silent... He don't make a boo, and the guy is phenomenal.

   10. JRJoe Rogan10:34

       Yeah.

   11. JDJoey Diaz10:34

       He's still around. And if you don't believe me, watch a movie named My Girl and then watch this and then watch him in the fucking Liberace movie. He's l- outlasted everybody.

   12. JRJoe Rogan10:44

       You know, he's a serious believer in UFOs.

   13. JDJoey Diaz10:47

       Well, what are you gonna do? Li-

   14. JRJoe Rogan10:48

       (laughs)

   15. JDJoey Diaz10:48

       Everybody's got problems.

   16. JRJoe Rogan10:49

       No, it's... (laughs)

   17. JDJoey Diaz10:49

       Right here. Right here, when he threatens him, right here. "How much for the wife?" Okay. Look at the guy's choking and shit. They're giving him champagne. And then watch fucking D- Dan Aykroyd. Watch what he does. He goes, "If you don't fucking... If you don't join the band, we will be in here every day for breakfast, lunch, and fucking dinner." And watch what Dan Aykroyd does at this fancy restaurant. But, Joe, it doesn't stop there. They get in the car, they drive off. Look at them. Look at them. That's craziness.

   18. JRJoe Rogan11:23

       (laughs)

   19. JDJoey Diaz11:23

       This is the last of real comedic... If you're gonna get into comedy or you wanna be... This is Comedy 101. They walk out, they get into a car, that black fucking car. This is non-stop Joe Rogan.

   20. JRJoe Rogan11:36

       Right.

   21. JDJoey Diaz11:36

       There's not like a hard, like there's no fluff.

   22. JRJoe Rogan11:39

       No, no.

   23. JDJoey Diaz11:39

       They get into a car.

   24. JRJoe Rogan11:40

       (laughs)

   25. JDJoey Diaz11:40

       They get into traffic. The, the cop comes up to him, he goes, "There's Nazis that are having parades." (laughs) And he goes, Belushi goes, "Illinois Nazis, I hate them more than anything." He looks at Aykroyd, they fucking pull over, and they take the car and go right for the Nazis. The Nazis have to jump off the bridge. White people are clapping and shit that they knocked them off. Then they pull into a Black neighborhood. Who's playing the fucking guitar?... your boy, John Lee Hooker-

   26. JRJoe Rogan12:08

       Damn.

   27. JDJoey Diaz12:09

       ... down the middle of the street. Donka, donka, donka. Just playing the fucking guitar. Then after he's singing the song, brothers fucking everywhere, doing their business. John Lee Hooker-

   28. JRJoe Rogan12:19

       Damn.

   29. JDJoey Diaz12:19

       ... and Belushi and Aykroyd are just staring them down.

   30. JRJoe Rogan12:22

       (laughs)
5. 17:04 – 27:44

   UFOs, New Jersey sightings, and what counts as “credible” evidence

   1. JDJoey Diaz17:04

      Well, didn't they just release that there's even more belief now about UFOs?

   2. JRJoe Rogan17:08

      Yeah. Uh, yeah, it's fun. (laughs)

   3. JVJamie Vernon17:10

      (laughs)

   4. JRJoe Rogan17:10

      I don't know if it's real but, uh, it's fun. That's how I feel.

   5. JDJoey Diaz17:15

      Dog, I did a, a podcast with Jim Florentine and I explained to Jim Florentine that what people don't know is that Hudson County, New Jersey, northern New Jersey is the number one place in the country where they have the most UFO sightings.

   6. JRJoe Rogan17:30

      Really? Northern New Jersey?

   7. JDJoey Diaz17:33

      Look it up, Jamie, if you get a minute, please. Not to be rude.

   8. JRJoe Rogan17:36

      But isn't that, like, near a couple of airports?

   9. JDJoey Diaz17:38

      No. It's closer to, like, you, you know, like, when you live in New York City on the, and you look at the Hudson River?

   10. JRJoe Rogan17:43

       Mm-hmm.

   11. JDJoey Diaz17:43

       They say that people go on their balconies, they're drinking coffee, they're talking on the phone and they'll see a little flying saucer go by.

   12. JRJoe Rogan17:48

       Really?

   13. JDJoey Diaz17:49

       And I know for a fact that in 1976-

   14. JRJoe Rogan17:52

       A little one?

   15. JDJoey Diaz17:53

       Whatever the fuck they are. I know for a fact that in 1975 and 1976, you could check me out on this, a UFO landed in Hudson County Park. I was a kid and the next day the feds locked off the park. They had yellow tape, they had samples.

   16. JRJoe Rogan18:08

       What?

   17. JDJoey Diaz18:08

       Go look it up, dog. There's a UFO... There's a... That's... You see that t- that, that, that's called the... North Bergen is where I'm from. That's called... I forget what it's called but it was so... There was... It's a circular building.So they did so much coke in there in the '80s, they called it The Grinder.

   18. JRJoe Rogan18:24

       (laughs)

   19. JDJoey Diaz18:24

       That's what they called it 'cause it was shaped like a, a Stonehenge.

   20. JRJoe Rogan18:27

       (laughs)

   21. JDJoey Diaz18:27

       The Stonehenge. I have a couple of friends that lived there. People that lived in that building have seen UFOs for fucking years. And if you go to YouTube, there's an actual North Hudson Park UFO.

   22. JRJoe Rogan18:38

       Wow.

   23. JDJoey Diaz18:39

       They dug up, they even ... They came out, the mar- ... There's a liquor store, and the liquor store guy says he's seen the lights.

   24. JRJoe Rogan18:45

       Mm-hmm.

   25. JDJoey Diaz18:46

       You heard, like, the organ music that they play. (singing) They landed, a couple of martians got out and took samples and got back in the thing and took off. There's a YouTube thing, there's a History Channel special about it. And I still remember being a young kid-

   26. JRJoe Rogan19:01

       Did you find anything, Jamie?

   27. JDJoey Diaz19:02

       Not gi-

   28. JVJamie Vernon19:03

       I was gonna say, is this yet ... That, that was what's po- pop- popping up, all that stuff about that building and-

   29. JDJoey Diaz19:07

       Oh, yeah. No, no, no. It's, it's-

   30. JRJoe Rogan19:08

       Is there anything that says a UFO landed?
6. 27:44 – 41:37

   Navy UFO reports, drones, and the line between ‘unknown’ and ‘alien’

   1. JRJoe Rogan27:44

      Fleet of UFOs followed US aircraft, Navy pilot says.

   2. JDJoey Diaz27:48

      Yeah.

   3. JRJoe Rogan27:48

      May 29th.

   4. JDJoey Diaz27:48

      This is what I'm talking about.

   5. JRJoe Rogan27:49

      See, these guys that are talking about these things, these aren't, uh, guys with, uh, histories of embellishing things. There's no... I mean, they have th- this, whatever that is. Is that radar? What are they looking at? Is that infrared? Like, what, what is th- that screen that they're looking for? D- does it say what kind of image it is? 'Cause it's like a weird... Look, it's not like a photograph, right? It's like a weird computer image. Because it's, um, it's, it's detecting it, right? With some piece of equipment, right? Isn't it, like, tracking it on radar or something like that?

   6. JVJamie Vernon28:23

      I know what you're saying, 'cause I feel like I've heard that description of it too, but this, this article just says it's a video of two aerial encounters.

   7. JDJoey Diaz28:29

      Hmm.

   8. JRJoe Rogan28:29

      That's tremendous.

   9. JDJoey Diaz28:30

      But that video doesn't look very clear. Why isn't it clear? My phone does a better job than that should.

   10. JVJamie Vernon28:35

       They don't have, uh, they're not very good cameras on those. Or, I mean-

   11. JRJoe Rogan28:37

       Better camera, but ih...

   12. JVJamie Vernon28:37

       They have good cam... I didn't mean f- they don't have good ones, but like, in order-

   13. JRJoe Rogan28:40

       Right.

   14. JVJamie Vernon28:40

       ... to catch movement at that high speed up there, yada, yada, all that stuff.

   15. JRJoe Rogan28:44

       Oh, so it would require some exceptional gear?

   16. JVJamie Vernon28:46

       I think. And it could've also been at night. I don't know what time of day it was.

   17. JRJoe Rogan28:49

       Hmm. So convenient. So convenient-

   18. JDJoey Diaz28:53

       Yeah, yeah. (laughs)

   19. JRJoe Rogan28:53

       ... that they never have a clear picture.

   20. JDJoey Diaz28:55

       (laughs) Yeah.

   21. JRJoe Rogan28:55

       That, that drives me fucking crazy. It drives me fucking crazy. 'Cause if it is real, I am, I'm, I'm, I love, I want it to be real, honestly. I really do. But when I look at it, I go, "Goddamn, so many people are so crazy, and so many people are so full of shit."

   22. JDJoey Diaz29:10

       You personally believe, and so do I-

   23. JRJoe Rogan29:12

       Dun, dun, dun.

   24. JDJoey Diaz29:13

       ... that there's other galaxies out there. There has to be.

   25. JRJoe Rogan29:17

       Well, there definitely are other galaxies, other civilizations.

   26. JDJoey Diaz29:19

       Other civilizations.

   27. JRJoe Rogan29:20

       Yeah.

   28. JDJoey Diaz29:20

       Some form somewhere. Out of the nine planets, there's gotta be-

   29. JRJoe Rogan29:23

       Dude, there is a-

   30. JDJoey Diaz29:24

       ... something.
7. 41:37 – 49:12

   Memory is unreliable—life recollections, childhood snapshots, and sensory triggers

   1. JDJoey Diaz41:37

      How's the memory in your life? How are the memories of your life? Do you remember being three?

   2. JRJoe Rogan41:43

      No.

   3. JDJoey Diaz41:43

      Do you remember being five? Like, the other day, I think of my-

   4. JRJoe Rogan41:46

      Barely, barely.

   5. JDJoey Diaz41:46

      I was, I was fucking suffering. Like, not suffering, but I was, like, trying to think of my dad. My dad died when I was three, and I have two memories with him. I have two memories that I can look you in the eye. I don't remember what he was wearing or what shoes he was wearing, but I still remember driving from the Lincoln Tunnel, from New York to Jersey, and him put me on my lap, no seatbelt, and me holding onto the steering wheel.

   6. JRJoe Rogan42:13

      Wow.

   7. JDJoey Diaz42:14

      And I still remember him and my mom having a discussion and him taking me with him. That's it. I don't remember nothing else.

   8. JRJoe Rogan42:22

      Wow.

   9. JDJoey Diaz42:23

      You know, you try to go back on your memory. Then you start to write a little bit and your memory gets better.How did that happen?

   10. JRJoe Rogan42:30

       Yeah, but even when your memory gets better, the problem is... With my memory, I'm always wondering how much of this is accurate. You know, how much of what I'm... I mean, how much of it was I really paying attention during the moment? And really being, uh, like, to a... Like, if you have a biased perspective of something that's happening and then you have a memory of it, how much does your memory of the biased perspec- How much does your memory and the biased perspective shape what you think happened? You could actually kind of twist the past in your head if you're not careful, and you start thinking about things that didn't really necessarily happen the way they... Like, if you go, "I got fucked over at work," you know, "I had it coming, my fucking pension," and all this... And then you, you look at it from that way, "Wow, this guy worked for an evil company that fucked him over." Or you go to the employers and some of the other people he worked with, you go, "No, no, no, no. That guy was a fucking asshole. He made life at work hell. Nobody wanted him around. He didn't get fucked over. He was so negative nobody wanted to be, be with him in the office. We had to get rid of him." Like, you, you have to look at it from their point, too. You don't know. So the actual memory of it for that guy might be that he got fucked over by this evil company, but the memory of the other people is a completely different experience. The memory of the other people is, "This guy was annoying to work with. Ugh." And they're both... You know. It's bo- I mean, who the fuck knows who's, who's right? But-

   11. JDJoey Diaz43:55

       My memory is good at some places and completely bad in others. Like, right now, my memory of 30 years ago is just spot-on. I could tell you conversations we had.

   12. JRJoe Rogan44:05

       Really?

   13. JDJoey Diaz44:05

       Don't ask me what we did a year ago. Like, I'll sit here and go, "What did I do last 4th of July?" I have no fucking idea. But I went home and I went home for three weeks. I, I went to dinner with a friend of mine, and then on the way back I had him in tears, telling him about the night his arm got broke. Do you know he looked me, legit at me in the face, and he goes, "Joey, I forgot I broke my arm. (laughing) It's amazing you remember. How the fuck do you remember?" And I go, "Dog, it was one of the best nights of my life." I'd never laughed so hard. My fri- He drove his car at my friend. You know how people go honk-honk and they drive at you?

   14. JRJoe Rogan44:41

       Yes.

   15. JDJoey Diaz44:42

       He didn't stop in time.

   16. JRJoe Rogan44:43

       (laughs)

   17. JDJoey Diaz44:43

       And he tapped my friend and my friend went down, who's hilarious as it is. He got up, he went to take a swing at this guy, and the guy put his arm up. And when he hit, he broke his arm with the punch-

   18. JRJoe Rogan44:55

       Oh.

   19. JDJoey Diaz44:55

       ... by absorbing the punch. And he had to wear a cast, and we tortured him, and my friend kept threatening to sue him. And it was just a... He, and he... When I was telling him this, his face was red. He had to take his napkin down when he was banging the table. He goes, "Cokes, I just remembered the broken fucking arm."

   20. JRJoe Rogan45:15

       (laughs)

   21. JDJoey Diaz45:15

       You know, he's my age. He goes, "I forgot all about my broken fucking arm."

   22. JRJoe Rogan45:18

       Oh, no.

   23. JDJoey Diaz45:18

       "You know, before you came in, Jamie and I were talking about Achilles tendons, and I s- and I r- remember the time ripping a ham- pulling a hamstring. Like, having to go to the hospital when I was 15, and having the fucking doctor do a something, and it was bruised. Blood was running from my ass to the top of my leg. It was fucking horrible."

   24. JRJoe Rogan45:39

       Mm.

   25. JDJoey Diaz45:39

       "I just ripped a hamstring." We were talking about, uh-

   26. NANarrator45:42

       How many-

   27. JDJoey Diaz45:43

       Uh, you know, like, just that.

   28. JRJoe Rogan45:44

       Yeah, yeah, yeah.

   29. JDJoey Diaz45:44

       You know? And then there's, there's a theory that there's times, like, you'll go back to Newark. Like, you... I don't know if there's a fi- Are you going to Newark, that fight in Newark?

   30. JRJoe Rogan45:53

       No, I'm not gonna... I'm not working that one.
8. 49:12 – 53:02

   Movies and music as time machines—Stripes, classic eras, and changing film language

   1. NANarrator49:12

      '81.

   2. JRJoe Rogan49:12

      '81.

   3. JDJoey Diaz49:12

      (laughs) Stripes.

   4. JRJoe Rogan49:12

      Perfect. So I was 14 years old. That meant, that was, I was, uh, in 9th grade. I was a freshman in high school. So that, when I think about that movie, like, that was the, the epic movie of our time when I was a kid. It was like, that was, I think about that time of the year, or that, that time of my life. You think about who you were, you know? You, it brings you back to a weird place. Like, it's, it, it helps, it enhances the memory.

   5. JDJoey Diaz49:39

      Fucking tremendous.

   6. JRJoe Rogan49:40

      That was a great movie, man.

   7. JDJoey Diaz49:41

      Dog, when he asks-

   8. JRJoe Rogan49:42

      That was such a funny movie.

   9. JDJoey Diaz49:43

      Think about the line-

   10. JRJoe Rogan49:44

       (laughs)

   11. JDJoey Diaz49:44

       ... when he asks the fat dude why he joined the service.

   12. JRJoe Rogan49:48

       (laughs)

   13. JDJoey Diaz49:48

       And the guy goes, "I, I want to lose a couple pounds." Look at him. Look at John Candy.

   14. JRJoe Rogan49:52

       Yeah. John Candy was amazing.

   15. JDJoey Diaz49:53

       Amazing in this.

   16. JRJoe Rogan49:54

       It's a fucking great movie, man. It was just so good at the time, you know? It, it just, you, you had a smile on your face through the whole movie. Like, even the mom- moments in the movie that weren't, like, hilarious when they were setting things up, you just... It was so well done, you just smiled all the time.

   17. JDJoey Diaz50:11

       Are you guys looking at this cast?

   18. JRJoe Rogan50:13

       Yeah.

   19. JDJoey Diaz50:13

       You got the guy from Beverly Hills Cop. You got Zito from Miami Vice. You got fucking Harold Ramis, who was a blessing in my life. He legitimized me when I did his movie. The movie was terrible.

   20. JRJoe Rogan50:25

       (laughs)

   21. JDJoey Diaz50:26

       But he was phenomenal comedy-wise, I mean-

   22. JRJoe Rogan50:28

       That's awesome.

   23. JDJoey Diaz50:29

       I don't know what this brother went on to do, but, you know, this is fucking great com- Bill, look at Bill Murray. This is the-

   24. JRJoe Rogan50:36

       I know, man.

   25. JDJoey Diaz50:36

       This is the height of Bill Murray. Now, you guys gotta remember, we were just talking about another great movie a couple minutes ago. Didn't these both come out the same year?

   26. JRJoe Rogan50:45

       Did they?

   27. JDJoey Diaz50:46

       Yeah. '81, '80. This is the shit we were going through.

   28. JRJoe Rogan50:52

       Yeah.

   29. JDJoey Diaz50:52

       This is why we talk about movies and music. It's not that we're old men, uh, fucking being nostalgic. I'm telling you the truth.

   30. JRJoe Rogan51:00

       Mm-hmm.
9. 53:02 – 1:13:05

   Monster movies: King Kong to Godzilla—practical effects, suits, and nuclear anxieties

   1. JDJoey Diaz53:02

      Well, look at the, the new Godzilla. The new Godzilla's godawful. People are leaving with a fucking headache.

   2. JRJoe Rogan53:08

      Are they?

   3. JDJoey Diaz53:08

      Yeah. Look at the old Godzilla. It's a comedy.

   4. JRJoe Rogan53:12

      It is?

   5. JDJoey Diaz53:12

      Oh, my God. You see those poor little Japanese people?

   6. JRJoe Rogan53:15

      (laughs) Look at this, though.

   7. JDJoey Diaz53:16

      And, yeah. Look at this.

   8. JRJoe Rogan53:16

      Look how fake this looks. It's crazy.

   9. JDJoey Diaz53:19

      But this must have been huge back then.

   10. JRJoe Rogan53:21

       Yeah. Look at these guys, like, "Yeah, buddy, you're not in a plane." (laughs) It's, like, so fake-looking. You know? Like, these guys flying around. And look how bad the gorilla looks. It's so crazy. But at the time-

   11. JDJoey Diaz53:37

       Look at that.

   12. JRJoe Rogan53:37

       ... this was unbelievable. This was amazing. So if you go from this to, like, Apocalypse Now, the jump in terms of, like, how impactful it is and how much they nailed it, like, this is... I mean, it's a fun movie, man. Don't get me wrong. I have a King Kong poster on my wall at my house. I love the movie.

   13. JDJoey Diaz53:56

       I love this movie.

   14. JRJoe Rogan53:56

       I l- I have a movie poster from the 1930s.

   15. JDJoey Diaz53:58

       And I'd much rather see the old Godzillas. Godzilla versus Mothra, god- villains versus The Smog Monster.

   16. JRJoe Rogan54:05

       (laughs)

   17. JDJoey Diaz54:06

       Godzilla.

   18. JRJoe Rogan54:07

       Those are fun.

   19. JDJoey Diaz54:07

       Just to see what Japanese people were doing.

   20. JRJoe Rogan54:10

       Yeah.

   21. JDJoey Diaz54:11

       They had the string on them. They would-

   22. JRJoe Rogan54:14

       String.

   23. JDJoey Diaz54:14

       ... do wide shots, so they would show the Chinese people running, and then they would just have a single shot of Godzilla-

   24. JRJoe Rogan54:20

       Yeah, there he is.

   25. JDJoey Diaz54:20

       ... moving through the air. You see? Look at that.

   26. JRJoe Rogan54:22

       Yeah.

   27. JDJoey Diaz54:23

       They're Japanese, I'm-

   28. JRJoe Rogan54:24

       Japanese.

   29. JDJoey Diaz54:25

       Okay.

   30. JRJoe Rogan54:25

       Look how dope he looks. Like, even when it's lit up. That is fucking fun, man. That's fun. Look, he's going through... They're fucking electric. Godzilla doesn't give a fuck. They're shooting him. "Fuck you!"

Episode duration: 2:57:40