Joe Rogan Experience #1332 - Annie Lederman

1. 0:00 – 2:44

   Leopard print, nerves, and a wild detour into “Peg Bundy”

   1. JRJoe Rogan0:00

      (humming) Hello, Annie.

   2. ALAnnie Lederman0:04

      Hello-

   3. JRJoe Rogan0:05

      Wait, but what is-

   4. ALAnnie Lederman0:06

      ... to Joe Rogan.

   5. JRJoe Rogan0:06

      ... the leopard theme? You have leopard jackets, today you have a leopard top. Is this just coincidental or is there something to this?

   6. ALAnnie Lederman0:14

      Well, I'm a little bit white trash and I want every-... No, I don't know. I g-... I liked, I liked Married With Children.

   7. JRJoe Rogan0:19

      You can pull this up, you don't have to-

   8. ALAnnie Lederman0:20

      I'm a little bit, uh-

   9. JRJoe Rogan0:21

      ... lay on your hand for that.

   10. ALAnnie Lederman0:21

       I know, I'm trying to get comfortable.

   11. JRJoe Rogan0:23

       Are you comfortable?

   12. ALAnnie Lederman0:24

       I don't know. Am I?

   13. JRJoe Rogan0:25

       (laughs)

   14. ALAnnie Lederman0:25

       I'm nervous.

   15. JRJoe Rogan0:26

       You seem comfortable.

   16. ALAnnie Lederman0:27

       Am I supposed to be-

   17. JRJoe Rogan0:28

       You're fine.

   18. ALAnnie Lederman0:28

       ... not nervous?

   19. JRJoe Rogan0:29

       You're fine.

   20. ALAnnie Lederman0:31

       I'm with the king. Anyway, okay. (smacks lips)

   21. JRJoe Rogan0:33

       So, leopard.

   22. ALAnnie Lederman0:34

       Leopard. I like Married With Children. I don't know. I always-

   23. JRJoe Rogan0:36

       You like Married With Children? Peg Bundy?

   24. ALAnnie Lederman0:38

       Well, I was gonna go for Kelly, but thank you.

   25. JRJoe Rogan0:39

       Oh, Kelly. Okay.

   26. ALAnnie Lederman0:40

       I like Dumb and Slutty and, uh, no.

   27. JRJoe Rogan0:43

       (laughs)

   28. ALAnnie Lederman0:44

       I do have my friend who started pegging her boyfriend in my phone as Peg Bundy.

   29. JRJoe Rogan0:48

       Whoa.

   30. ALAnnie Lederman0:48

       That's her name.
2. 2:44 – 9:53

   From pegging to porn: how escalation becomes the new normal

   1. ALAnnie Lederman2:44

      I had a guy call into my podcast about his wife won't peg him enough and he, he's a cuck, but she won't-

   2. JRJoe Rogan2:51

      Enough?

   3. ALAnnie Lederman2:51

      Yeah, but she, like, she-

   4. JRJoe Rogan2:52

      She gets tired?

   5. ALAnnie Lederman2:52

      ... makes l-... She, like, makes love to him while she pegs him and he wants to be-

   6. JRJoe Rogan2:55

      Oh, God.

   7. ALAnnie Lederman2:55

      ... just destroyed, you know.

   8. JRJoe Rogan2:56

      Oh, Jesus Christ.

   9. ALAnnie Lederman2:57

      And he, he's a cuck, but he, she won't fuck black guys, so he's just, he's like-

   10. JRJoe Rogan3:03

       Oh, my God.

   11. ALAnnie Lederman3:03

       I'm like, "I feel like for what you want, you should be very grateful. You have this woman that's pretty down, but there's always more." So I'm wondering if he just wants more or if his ultimate s-

   12. JRJoe Rogan3:12

       Isn't that the same with... But just, that's how it is with people. If you go back to the early days of porn, it was basically just pizza delivery men and sorority girls and, and sex, and everybody had a bush. But then you look at today. Everyone's gagging and slapping and-

   13. ALAnnie Lederman3:26

       Yeah.

   14. JRJoe Rogan3:26

       ... choking and spitting and-

   15. ALAnnie Lederman3:28

       And not choking on pubes.

   16. JRJoe Rogan3:29

       And it's (choking sounds)

   17. ALAnnie Lederman3:31

       (laughs)

   18. JRJoe Rogan3:31

       There was none of that back then. Now it's, like, standard, you know. It's like everything keeps getting pushed. Boundaries keep getting pushed.

   19. ALAnnie Lederman3:38

       Everyone's getting the fish hook. Poor Aziz.

   20. JRJoe Rogan3:41

       Yeah. It's fucking weird.

   21. ALAnnie Lederman3:41

       Aziz watched the f-... The w-... The wrong porn.

   22. JRJoe Rogan3:45

       Aziz? Oh, did he fish hook that girl?

   23. ALAnnie Lederman3:45

       Remember when he got, he got in trouble, he got for fish hooking (laughs) .

   24. JRJoe Rogan3:48

       Yeah. What a disaster. Have you seen his special?

   25. ALAnnie Lederman3:53

       I haven't watched it yet.

   26. JRJoe Rogan3:54

       I watched a clip and it's shot so bad. It's like you see him and then you see people behind him in the backstage area milling around.

   27. ALAnnie Lederman4:04

       Hmm.

   28. JRJoe Rogan4:04

       And he's on a seat. It's so dumb. It's like there's, there's doors open-

   29. ALAnnie Lederman4:09

       Yeah.

   30. JRJoe Rogan4:09

       ... in the back and then people walking behind the doors. It's like some odd artistic choice to try to be like, I don't-
3. 9:53 – 16:15

   Bigfoot erotica: discovering a bizarre (and lucrative) genre

   1. JRJoe Rogan9:53

      Oh, for sure. Do you know there's people really into Bigfoot sexually?

   2. ALAnnie Lederman9:56

      (laughs)

   3. JRJoe Rogan9:56

      There's like all these novels written about, uh, Bigfoot. There's-

   4. ALAnnie Lederman9:58

      It's like, just go date a tall Armenian.

   5. JRJoe Rogan10:00

      No, no, no. (laughs)

   6. GUGuest10:01

      (laughs)

   7. ALAnnie Lederman10:01

      (laughs) It's not that hard.

   8. JRJoe Rogan10:03

      (laughs)

   9. ALAnnie Lederman10:03

      They're every... Go to Glendale.

   10. JRJoe Rogan10:04

       (laughs)

   11. ALAnnie Lederman10:04

       They're everywhere. Go to the Galleria.

   12. JRJoe Rogan10:06

       There's B- (laughs) there's Bigfoot... This is a very localized reference. There's Bigfoot porn.

   13. ALAnnie Lederman10:12

       You get it.

   14. JRJoe Rogan10:13

       Bigfoot, or I do get it. Bigfoot erotica.

   15. ALAnnie Lederman10:15

       Yeah.

   16. JRJoe Rogan10:16

       I mean, it's like really common.

   17. ALAnnie Lederman10:17

       What if he had a small dick?

   18. JRJoe Rogan10:19

       Bigfoot?

   19. ALAnnie Lederman10:19

       Like you always hear about the really tall guys with the tiny dicks.

   20. JRJoe Rogan10:22

       Right.

   21. ALAnnie Lederman10:22

       And when I say hear about them, you hear about them.

   22. JRJoe Rogan10:24

       See, look at this. Seduced by Bigfoot, and ravaged.

   23. ALAnnie Lederman10:28

       Ooh!

   24. JRJoe Rogan10:28

       Look at, Come for Bigfoot, Virginia Wade.

   25. ALAnnie Lederman10:30

       Bigfoot bitch.

   26. JRJoe Rogan10:31

       Narrated by Lolita Young. Wait a minute, narrated?

   27. GUGuest10:34

       Yeah.

   28. JRJoe Rogan10:34

       You mean this is an audiobook? Mm.

   29. ALAnnie Lederman10:37

       You know what they say, the bigger the Bigfoot, the ...

   30. GUGuest10:40

       Uh-oh.
4. 16:15 – 17:41

   Annie’s mom wrote romance novels—and Annie found the sex scenes

   1. ALAnnie Lederman16:15

      My mom wrote romance novels when I was-

   2. JRJoe Rogan16:20

      Shut the fuck up.

   3. ALAnnie Lederman16:20

      Yeah.

   4. JRJoe Rogan16:21

      What kind?

   5. ALAnnie Lederman16:21

      They weren't-

   6. JRJoe Rogan16:21

      Did you read 'em?

   7. ALAnnie Lederman16:22

      They were never published.

   8. JRJoe Rogan16:23

      Whoa.

   9. ALAnnie Lederman16:23

      No, I didn't read them.

   10. JRJoe Rogan16:24

       They were never published?

   11. ALAnnie Lederman16:25

       So it was really just a fuck journal.

   12. JRJoe Rogan16:29

       You read your mom's fuck journal?

   13. ALAnnie Lederman16:30

       I didn't read it, but she had romance novels around, and I would definitely, I knew, I was really good at skimming to the sex scenes.

   14. JRJoe Rogan16:35

       Oh.

   15. ALAnnie Lederman16:36

       I knew how to flip through, flick my bean to it.

   16. JRJoe Rogan16:40

       So, your mom wrote-

   17. ALAnnie Lederman16:43

       She was a part of this thing called Romance Writers of America, and she actually won awards, and then she never followed through. So she could've published the book and probably had success, and then she had a whole, it was like a whole suspense romance, Selena's Revenge was what it was called, she wrote this book.

   18. JRJoe Rogan16:58

       Selena, like, the singer?

   19. ALAnnie Lederman17:00

       Yeah. No, but that's really funny. (laughs) She came back-

   20. JRJoe Rogan17:02

       Comes back to life.

   21. ALAnnie Lederman17:03

       ... and she's like... (laughs) To fuck Bigfoot?

   22. JRJoe Rogan17:04

       As a zombie. No, she fucks the girl who killed her, makes her eat her pussy-

   23. ALAnnie Lederman17:06

       Oh, yeah.

   24. JRJoe Rogan17:07

       ... now she's dead.

   25. ALAnnie Lederman17:08

       I like that lady. That little weirdo. I mean, I don't like her-

   26. JRJoe Rogan17:11

       Who?

   27. ALAnnie Lederman17:11

       ... 'cause she killed her, but she was, she was like a real weird-

   28. JRJoe Rogan17:13

       You mean the girl who killed Selena?

   29. ALAnnie Lederman17:14

       She obsessed, like... You know who she reminds me of? She reminds me of (laughs) I, I definitely don't like her, but she, um, she reminds me of the little woman from, um... Okay, can't remember. What's it called? The w-, uh, David Lynch, that show.

   30. JRJoe Rogan17:32

       Which one?
5. 17:41 – 20:53

   Celebrity obsession & assistant horror stories (Selena, Spade, catfishing)

   1. ALAnnie Lederman17:41

      But I just remember usually from the TV movie with Jennifer Lopez in it.

   2. JRJoe Rogan17:46

      Did you, did she play Selena?

   3. ALAnnie Lederman17:47

      She played Selena, that was her big break.

   4. JRJoe Rogan17:48

      Really? I thought-

   5. ALAnnie Lederman17:48

      She was a fly girl.

   6. JRJoe Rogan17:50

      Yeah.

   7. ALAnnie Lederman17:50

      And then she got super hot, and that big ass was exposed to us in Selena outfits.

   8. JRJoe Rogan17:56

      Hmm. That's interesting. Uh, but why did that girl kill her? She was her assistant, right?

   9. ALAnnie Lederman18:00

      Yeah, she was just such a big fan. I think she was just obsessed with her.

   10. JRJoe Rogan18:04

       So she killed her 'cause she was a big fan?

   11. ALAnnie Lederman18:06

       People are fucking crazy.

   12. JRJoe Rogan18:08

       That doesn't make any sense. That doesn't make sense. She probably hated her because she made her wash her laundry and shit.

   13. ALAnnie Lederman18:13

       I don't know.

   14. JRJoe Rogan18:13

       She was her assistant, right?

   15. ALAnnie Lederman18:14

       Or I think she was the head of her fan club.

   16. JRJoe Rogan18:16

       Assistants get weird with people. Did you ever hear the David Spade story?... his assistant tasered him and fucking tied him up and shit.

   17. ALAnnie Lederman18:24

       Oh, my God.

   18. JRJoe Rogan18:24

       Wound up going to jail. (dog growls) Yeah. I guess-

   19. ALAnnie Lederman18:26

       Was it a girl or a guy?

   20. JRJoe Rogan18:27

       A guy.

   21. ALAnnie Lederman18:29

       Was he trying to fuck him?

   22. JRJoe Rogan18:30

       I don't think so. I think he just hated him.

   23. ALAnnie Lederman18:32

       Oh, my God. I feel-

   24. JRJoe Rogan18:33

       It's just-

   25. ALAnnie Lederman18:33

       ... like Spade would be a nice employer, but maybe not.

   26. JRJoe Rogan18:36

       Maybe not.

   27. ALAnnie Lederman18:37

       (laughs)

   28. JRJoe Rogan18:37

       Maybe he is now. He's get tased-

   29. ALAnnie Lederman18:39

       He better be.

   30. JRJoe Rogan18:39

       ... and beat up. Yeah.
6. 20:53 – 22:06

   Time feels broken: 2009 doesn’t seem that long ago

   1. JRJoe Rogan20:53

      That seems like a long time ago. But, uh, d- you know what doesn't seem like a long time ago? 2009.

   2. ALAnnie Lederman20:59

      Mm.

   3. JRJoe Rogan20:59

      You say 2009, you're like, "Oh, that just happened." Nope. 10 years, a decade. Like, 1960-1970 seems like forever, '70 to '80 seems like forever, '80 to '90 seems like forever. But 2009 to 2019 for whatever fucking reason seems real close.

   4. ALAnnie Lederman21:16

      Yeah, and it's not.

   5. JRJoe Rogan21:18

      It's not.

   6. ALAnnie Lederman21:18

      It's not close.

   7. JRJoe Rogan21:19

      Ten whole years.

   8. ALAnnie Lederman21:20

      You... Style will show you that too. 'Cause I was, I was born in '83, I'm 36, and, uh, the kid, the, the younger kids right now are dressing like I dressed in high school.

   9. JRJoe Rogan21:32

      Yeah.

   10. ALAnnie Lederman21:32

       Like, it cycled back around. They're in my styles.

   11. JRJoe Rogan21:35

       Yeah, but that's then, like, not... 2009 to 2019, is there a difference in style?

   12. ALAnnie Lederman21:40

       N- Yeah.

   13. JRJoe Rogan21:40

       This is coming from someone that has zero style.

   14. ALAnnie Lederman21:42

       Yeah, there is.

   15. JRJoe Rogan21:43

       What is it?

   16. ALAnnie Lederman21:44

       It's... Okay, from 2009, um, I would say 2009 was maybe when they ha- started having... This one, okay, wait. I have to remember where I was in life. I just moved to New York. People were wearing... I don't know, I had lived in Santa Fe and I was drinking a lot, so I definitely went...

   17. JRJoe Rogan22:04

       (laughs)

   18. ALAnnie Lederman22:04

       I quit drinking in 2009. (laughs)

   19. JRJoe Rogan22:05

       I still have never been to Santa Fe.

7. 22:06 – 26:44

   Santa Fe to NYC: drinking, scooters, stitches, and the first comedy set

   1. ALAnnie Lederman22:06

      I started comedy then.

   2. JRJoe Rogan22:07

      Santa Fe is s- supposed to be a weird place.

   3. ALAnnie Lederman22:09

      That's where I met Tait Fletcher.

   4. JRJoe Rogan22:10

      Hello. Caveman Coffee.

   5. ALAnnie Lederman22:12

      I met Tait in, uh, in Santa Fe. He used to come in with a bunch of sober dudes after meeting. I don't know if I'm supposed to say this, but whatever.

   6. JRJoe Rogan22:21

      Uh, he's pretty open about it.

   7. ALAnnie Lederman22:21

      But he, uh, but I mean, it was the truth. They were so annoying. I was, like, a drunk. I was wasted s- at this cowboy bar. (laughs) I had to wear a cowboy outfit.

   8. JRJoe Rogan22:28

      You have to?

   9. ALAnnie Lederman22:29

      You have to. That's your uniform.

   10. JRJoe Rogan22:31

       Really?

   11. ALAnnie Lederman22:31

       Being a waitress is not humiliating enough-

   12. JRJoe Rogan22:33

       What if you-

   13. ALAnnie Lederman22:33

       ... you also have to dress.

   14. JRJoe Rogan22:34

       ... just have a John Deere hat on?

   15. ALAnnie Lederman22:35

       No, you have to wear, you had to wear a cowboy hat and you had to have a shirt that had yolks on it.

   16. JRJoe Rogan22:40

       Oh, if you worked there?

   17. ALAnnie Lederman22:41

       If you worked there.

   18. JRJoe Rogan22:42

       Okay.

   19. ALAnnie Lederman22:42

       Not when you went in, yeah. That would be crazy.

   20. JRJoe Rogan22:44

       Okay. That would be crazy.

   21. ALAnnie Lederman22:45

       But so Tait would come in with a bunch of people and they just wouldn't order alcoo-... I mean, it was just, like, low sales, high maintenance. I was like-

   22. JRJoe Rogan22:51

       S-

   23. ALAnnie Lederman22:51

       ... "Who is this fucking guy? He's so big and ridiculous." And then I was talking to him. I hadn't quit drinking, I didn't quit drinking until I moved out of Santa Fe, but I told him I wanted to do comedy and he made them turn the karaoke night into a comedy show for me.

   24. JRJoe Rogan23:04

       Really?

   25. ALAnnie Lederman23:04

       Yeah, and I got to do comedy.

   26. JRJoe Rogan23:05

       You went up?

   27. ALAnnie Lederman23:05

       Yeah.

   28. JRJoe Rogan23:05

       That's the first time you ever went up?

   29. ALAnnie Lederman23:06

       Yeah.

   30. JRJoe Rogan23:07

       Wow. Did you have p- things prepared?
8. 26:44 – 32:00

   A terrifying teen scam: “Mahogany” the fake modeling agent

   1. ALAnnie Lederman26:44

      I was a juvenile delinquent and I had so many childhood traumas and abuses and weird things that happened. I was running for my life in Jersey City when I was 15 from like a fake modeling agent who was like-

   2. JRJoe Rogan26:54

      Whoa.

   3. ALAnnie Lederman26:54

      ... a six foot eight drag queen named Mahogany.

   4. JRJoe Rogan26:56

      What? Sh-

   5. ALAnnie Lederman26:57

      Running for my life-

   6. JRJoe Rogan26:58

      Hold on.

   7. ALAnnie Lederman26:58

      ... trying to hide... (laughs)

   8. JRJoe Rogan26:58

      This is a long good story.

   9. ALAnnie Lederman27:00

      I just have a lot of stories and-

   10. JRJoe Rogan27:01

       This is not a story you can brush over.

   11. ALAnnie Lederman27:03

       All right, all right.

   12. JRJoe Rogan27:03

       What happened? You were 15?

   13. ALAnnie Lederman27:05

       So I was... I had gone to-

   14. JRJoe Rogan27:07

       Mahogany?

   15. ALAnnie Lederman27:08

       Mahogany, yeah. So I had gone to John Robert Powers Modeling School, one of those like fake-

   16. JRJoe Rogan27:12

       Right.

   17. ALAnnie Lederman27:12

       ... modeling schools. And it's-

   18. JRJoe Rogan27:14

       Where you pay like 200 bucks and they make like a compilation headshot?

   19. ALAnnie Lederman27:17

       Yeah, you like go. They give you classes in modeling, like that's a thing. It's like you either like are weirdly, weird looking alien hot and tall and skinny or-

   20. JRJoe Rogan27:26

       Not.

   21. ALAnnie Lederman27:26

       Yeah. Or you're not. And I mean, I maybe could have done commercials or something. I was cute, but I, I, I also had very low self-esteem. It was just such a weird... It was such a weird thing to be doing. So, um, and I had been a tomboy up until that point, so we go... I go to this modeling thing and then we went to... Paid more money to go to like a modeling convention. And then they had actual modeling agencies and then they had just random people that I guess paid to be there. So Mahogany was one of them. And my mom's like super liberal and so she likes anything that's like a little on the fringe-

   22. JRJoe Rogan28:00

       Mm-hmm.

   23. ALAnnie Lederman28:00

       ... that she could brag about at her book club or whatever.

   24. JRJoe Rogan28:03

       (laughs)

   25. ALAnnie Lederman28:03

       If that sounds like I'm angry, I'm not angry. I've forgiven my mother. But, um, so they ended up... They were like, "We want to take your daughter for two weeks and we'll send her out on auditions and stuff over spring break. And we have this nice place in Jersey-"

   26. JRJoe Rogan28:21

       When you were 15?

   27. ALAnnie Lederman28:21

       Yeah.

   28. JRJoe Rogan28:22

       Your mom let Mahogany take you for two weeks?

   29. ALAnnie Lederman28:25

       Oh, there's so many more stories, Joe.

   30. JRJoe Rogan28:27

       Jesus fucking Christ.
9. 32:00 – 54:04

   Turning pain into perspective: surviving chaos, forgiving, and finding comedy

   1. ALAnnie Lederman32:00

      They're good now. But I also look at all these things... No, I really, like, have had to do a lot of work on it, because-

   2. JRJoe Rogan32:07

      To forgive them?

   3. ALAnnie Lederman32:08

      Yeah. Because, well, I blame myself for all of it, for most of it, which was my defense mechanism, like the stuff... I had some stuff happen with a teacher in high school, too, right after that, actually. It was about six months after that happened. And, uh, you know-

   4. JRJoe Rogan32:21

      Is this a therapy session?

   5. ALAnnie Lederman32:22

      I don't wanna do a therapy session.

   6. JRJoe Rogan32:23

      (laughs)

   7. ALAnnie Lederman32:24

      I don't wanna do that.

   8. JRJoe Rogan32:25

      (laughs)

   9. ALAnnie Lederman32:25

      But anyway, you had asked me about-

   10. JRJoe Rogan32:26

       I know.

   11. ALAnnie Lederman32:27

       ... am I happy about these things? And so-

   12. JRJoe Rogan32:29

       Yeah, because it's a wild life.

   13. ALAnnie Lederman32:29

       ... the point that I'm coming to, but the point that I'm coming to is I am happy with them. I'm so happy with, like, where my life is now that I can't be mad about any of these other things. Do you know what I mean?

   14. JRJoe Rogan32:38

       Right.

   15. ALAnnie Lederman32:38

       Like, they're, they're like exciting, and now they're funny 'cause I didn't get hurt.

   16. JRJoe Rogan32:42

       That's what I'm saying. Like, looking back on the wild, drunken days-

   17. ALAnnie Lederman32:44

       Yeah, it's fucking hilarious.

   18. JRJoe Rogan32:46

       Yeah, there's some-

   19. ALAnnie Lederman32:47

       I did crazy shit.

   20. JRJoe Rogan32:48

       There's some romance to it if you survive.

   21. ALAnnie Lederman32:50

       Mm-hmm. I flashed a chain gang once on my motor scooter, and then it didn't start, and I had to, like, put my shirt down and keep walking. Like, it's hilarious.

   22. JRJoe Rogan32:57

       (laughs)

   23. ALAnnie Lederman32:57

       I did crazy shit. And I came out, like, genuinely, I feel good, you know? I'm happy with my life. So it's good. Thank you for getting me, getting me off of that path, by the way. (laughs)

   24. JRJoe Rogan33:07

       Well, it's just, everyone that I know that's funny is fucked up and had something go wrong.

   25. ALAnnie Lederman33:14

       Mm-hmm. Yeah.

   26. JRJoe Rogan33:14

       It's just, that's how... And it's, like, how you get through it, and then your insight-

   27. ALAnnie Lederman33:19

       Yeah.

   28. JRJoe Rogan33:19

       ... once you get on the other end.

   29. ALAnnie Lederman33:21

       You persevere, and then you don't blame people. You don't, like, go around being mad at the world. I think it, it's, it's easier to be, um... I don't know. It's just-

   30. JRJoe Rogan33:30

       Well, some of the most hilarious people did blame people.
10. 54:04 – 59:40

    Quitting alcohol for standup: the blackout open mic that forced a change

    1. JRJoe Rogan54:04

       So how did you stop?

    2. ALAnnie Lederman54:05

       Uh, well, Tate. That actually brings me back to Tate. So I moved to New York. I wanted to do standup so bad. I had just done that one thing at The Cowgirl in Santa Fe and I liked it. I really, I, I was nervous and I don't remember. I'm sure it was like all abortion jokes. (laughs)

    3. JRJoe Rogan54:19

       (laughs)

    4. ALAnnie Lederman54:19

       I don't really remember, but then I do remember my first set after that. Um, I remember all the beginning ones. So the first one was when I got to New York. I, I moved to New York to do standup. I had crashed my scooter, so ... And I wanted to move to LA. I had met people out in LA and I thought that was where I wanted to go, but because I kept drinking and driving, I was like, "I have a drinking and driving problem. I have to go somewhere where I can't drive." So I moved to New York, thank God, because I think I really ... I think it helped me really push and get really strong before I came out here. So I moved to New York. I wanted to do standup. I was just drinking. I was partying. I have so many friends that I just met on benders, like random shit. I was just doing insane things, day drinking. Just way more drunk than everyone else. My, I left-

    5. JRJoe Rogan55:02

       Hmm.

    6. ALAnnie Lederman55:02

       ... my drinking buddies in Santa Fe and everyone else was kinda like, "What are you up to?" So I was staying on my friend's couch-And I wanted to do stand up. And so finally, she was like, "Look, um, let's just go to an open mic. I'll go with you." And I was like, "All right." So I got all my jokes ready, we go to an open mic. Um, I go up, I drop my setlist, and then I completely black out. I'm so-

    7. JRJoe Rogan55:24

       (laughs)

    8. ALAnnie Lederman55:24

       ... nervous. I'm like in this basement at this place called Cake Shop. Uh, my friend Caper Lamp was the host of it, or was she the host yet? I don't know. Anyway, I got up on stage and completely bombed and just started yelling at everyone.

    9. JRJoe Rogan55:36

       (laughs)

    10. ALAnnie Lederman55:36

        I just started yelling at all of these comics, like, "Fuck you, you pieces of shit." Like, I don't know what happened. And then I sat down at the bar, and I'd already quit Jager. Jager was the first thing I quit. So I was sitting at the bar, and some guy came up, this comic, who I did not like or think was funny or want anything to do with, and he kept buying me drinks, and he was buying me shots of Jager, and I was like, "Look, man, I'm, like, struggling with drinking. I really, like, I can't really say no to a drink, but please stop buying them for me." And he just kept buying them, like I just was, uh, you know, I wasn't gonna stop. And so he kept buying them and then, so then I ended up waking up on his air mattress. This is after my first open mic. Waking up on his air mattress, fully clothed, didn't follow him or anything, just like trapped somewhere in Bushwick. It was snowing. I was like, "Where am I? What am I doing?" I looked around his apartment, I'm like, "All I wanna do is be a comedian." I was so sure that's what I wanted to do. I was spending all this time drinking, getting fucked up.

    11. JRJoe Rogan56:28

        And this is only your second set ever?

    12. ALAnnie Lederman56:30

        This was my second, yeah.

    13. JRJoe Rogan56:31

        What-

    14. ALAnnie Lederman56:31

        This was when I had moved to New York. It was my first one in New York.

    15. JRJoe Rogan56:33

        What had made you so sure that you wanted to be a comedian?

    16. ALAnnie Lederman56:35

        I just never wanted to do anything else. And when I, I think-

    17. JRJoe Rogan56:38

        But you'd only had one set at a karaoke bar.

    18. ALAnnie Lederman56:40

        Mm-hmm.

    19. JRJoe Rogan56:40

        And then this second set where you screamed and told everybody to fuck off.

    20. ALAnnie Lederman56:43

        Yeah.

    21. JRJoe Rogan56:43

        Like, what was it that made you think that you could do it?

    22. ALAnnie Lederman56:47

        Um, I just, I don't know, I just never wanted to do anything else. I just didn't have another, there was no other plan. I had been a special ed teacher, I had done a go-go dancer, I'd worked at the bars, I'd done all that stuff. I just never, I just always, I just felt like if I could do it, I could do it.

    23. JRJoe Rogan57:01

        Mm.

    24. ALAnnie Lederman57:01

        I mean, I guess it's that little bit of that delusion and that... But I just, I never, but I knew that I wouldn't be able to do it. I knew there were obstacles in my way, and I knew that drinking was one of them. I had talked to a comic before, uh, that sat at the open mic, and he had said, "Just try not to..." His advice to me was, "Try not to hook up with the, with the guys at open mics, because you're gonna get a reputation when you're just trying to be respected." So he had said that to me.

    25. JRJoe Rogan57:24

        That's good advice.

    26. ALAnnie Lederman57:25

        I think it was great advice, 'cause it's also, there's no time for that.

    27. JRJoe Rogan57:28

        Right.

    28. ALAnnie Lederman57:28

        This was my whole hustle.

    29. JRJoe Rogan57:29

        Also, what are the odds that person's gonna follow through? If you follow through and become a comic, what are the odds that they are?

    30. ALAnnie Lederman57:34

        Yeah.
11. 59:40 – 1:07:25

    Quakers, ADD, and the “mental diet”: managing triggers, media, and fear

    1. ALAnnie Lederman59:40

       I was brought up Quaker too, so our church was, you stand up and speak and everyone just-

    2. JRJoe Rogan59:44

       Oh.

    3. ALAnnie Lederman59:44

       ... sits there in silence and watches you.

    4. JRJoe Rogan59:45

       Quakers?

    5. ALAnnie Lederman59:45

       Yeah.

    6. JRJoe Rogan59:45

       What's that like? Which one's Quaker? That's the oat box.

    7. ALAnnie Lederman59:48

       Oat box-

    8. JRJoe Rogan59:49

       Yeah.

    9. ALAnnie Lederman59:49

       Everyone's like, gets it-

    10. JRJoe Rogan59:50

        Ri-

    11. ALAnnie Lederman59:50

        ... confused with Amish, which has nothing to do with Amish.

    12. JRJoe Rogan59:52

        What's the difference?

    13. ALAnnie Lederman59:53

        Chri- it's just a very chill Christianity, so it's-

    14. JRJoe Rogan59:56

        Were those the Pilgrims?

    15. ALAnnie Lederman59:57

        ... pacifists.

    16. JRJoe Rogan59:58

        Were the Pilgrims Quakers?

    17. ALAnnie Lederman59:59

        No, I don't think they were. The, they were, um, when did Quakerism start? I don't know.

    18. JRJoe Rogan1:00:04

        They're pacifists?

    19. ALAnnie Lederman1:00:04

        Yeah, they're pacifists. They believe that God's in the form of an inner light that's in everyone and everything.

    20. JRJoe Rogan1:00:08

        Hmm.

    21. ALAnnie Lederman1:00:08

        So why would you fight? I mean, I agree with that just from hallucinogens and shit too. But, um, w- it's something I struggle with. Like, I have to look back at, you know, childhood predators, and I'm like, "Can I, I have to forgive these people because they are from the same light," I guess?

    22. JRJoe Rogan1:00:21

        What is the, what's the wacky thing with Quakers?

    23. ALAnnie Lederman1:00:24

        Um, Quakers are, well, it's just very, it's just, you sit in silence at the churches. There's two types, there's programmed and unprogrammed. I was unprogrammed, which is the super chill one. There's no Bible talk, there's no preacher, there's nothing, you just sit in benches facing each other. My meeting house had-

    24. JRJoe Rogan1:00:39

        I don't... Wait, wait-

    25. ALAnnie Lederman1:00:39

        ... these old creaky-

    26. JRJoe Rogan1:00:41

        Hold on. Psh, explain. What are you talking about?

    27. ALAnnie Lederman1:00:42

        So it's a, like a, it's a meeting house, that you meet up at the, on Sun-

    28. JRJoe Rogan1:00:46

        You just stare at each other?

    29. ALAnnie Lederman1:00:46

        ... on Sundays. Yeah, or you look down at your hands, you don't really look at each other. But you s- you sit, there's facing benches, and then there's, you know, benches here, so you are kind of all looking at e- you're facing each other.

    30. JRJoe Rogan1:00:58

        And what do you do?

Episode duration: 1:59:37