Joe Rogan Experience #1333 - Tom Papa

1. 0:00 – 1:34

   ASMR mac-and-cheese noises and kids with ruthless comic timing

   1. JRJoe Rogan0:00

      (squelching noises) You definitely shouldn't make those noises to start off a podcast, Tom Papa. That (squelching noise) . What are you doing? You're freaking people out.

   2. TPTom Papa0:08

      It's-

   3. JRJoe Rogan0:08

      Do you know, what is it called?

   4. TPTom Papa0:09

      It's been-

   5. JRJoe Rogan0:09

      ASMR? Do you know what that is? Is that-

   6. TPTom Papa0:11

      Yeah, like when you, like go-

   7. JRJoe Rogan0:12

      People like certain sounds.

   8. TPTom Papa0:14

      Yeah.

   9. JRJoe Rogan0:14

      They find them soothing. (squelching noises) I don't think that's one of them.

   10. TPTom Papa0:17

       N- This is what I use to drive my kids crazy. I say, "It's mac and ch- it's a spoon in mac and cheese." (squelching noises) (laughs)

   11. JRJoe Rogan0:24

       Yeah. They're like, "Oh my God. I thought my dad was funny professionally."

   12. TPTom Papa0:27

       They're like, "Stop it." (laughs)

   13. JRJoe Rogan0:27

       "This is ridiculous." They probably think they're gonna starve to death.

   14. TPTom Papa0:30

       (laughs)

   15. JRJoe Rogan0:30

       Like, this is crazy.

   16. TPTom Papa0:32

       My younger-

   17. JRJoe Rogan0:33

       This isn't gonna work.

   18. TPTom Papa0:33

       My younger one, who's, like, comedian funny, this is her thing. (laughs) This is... She, so she doesn't care about parents or what we're doing or... She's just out for herself.

   19. JRJoe Rogan0:42

       (laughs)

   20. TPTom Papa0:42

       Whenever I make a joke in the (laughs) , around the house (laughs) , she, uh, that I think is funny, she just goes, "Ha, jokes." (laughs)

   21. JRJoe Rogan0:51

       How old is she? (laughs)

   22. TPTom Papa0:53

       14.

   23. JRJoe Rogan0:53

       That's hilarious.

   24. TPTom Papa0:55

       Yeah.

   25. JRJoe Rogan0:55

       Do you think she'll be a comic?

   26. TPTom Papa0:56

       Uh, she, yeah. She could be.

   27. JRJoe Rogan0:58

       Really? Wow. But don't-

   28. TPTom Papa0:58

       She definitely could be.

   29. JRJoe Rogan0:59

       But do you have a healthy household?

   30. TPTom Papa1:01

       It is healthy.
2. 1:34 – 4:00

   Parenting rules, discipline, and why kids need the “why”

   1. TPTom Papa1:34

      (laughs) I think, I think as a child, uh, even if it's not real heavy stuff, it feels heavy to you.

   2. JRJoe Rogan1:40

      Hmm. Of sure, of sure.

   3. TPTom Papa1:40

      You know what I mean? Like, my father was super strict and, like-

   4. JRJoe Rogan1:43

      Yeah.

   5. TPTom Papa1:43

      ... you know, spanked us and stuff. And I, I was like this nervous...

   6. JRJoe Rogan1:46

      Oh, yeah.

   7. TPTom Papa1:46

      You know what I mean? And it's always-

   8. JRJoe Rogan1:48

      Scared kids.

   9. TPTom Papa1:48

      So I think you can grow up pretty normal and be pretty funny, you know?

   10. JRJoe Rogan1:53

       It's like a, there's a, a line with kids. It's like you don't wanna be mad at them, but you can't let them get away with too much.

   11. TPTom Papa2:01

       Yeah.

   12. JRJoe Rogan2:01

       So you have to go, "Hey, hey, seriously. Stop screaming at me. Stop this."

   13. TPTom Papa2:05

       Yeah.

   14. JRJoe Rogan2:06

       Like, "You can't do this." Like, w- 'Cause every now and then, they'll, they'll test.

   15. TPTom Papa2:10

       Totally.

   16. JRJoe Rogan2:10

       Because they fight amongst each other. Like, I have daughters that are-

   17. TPTom Papa2:13

       Uh-huh.

   18. JRJoe Rogan2:13

       ... two years apart. They'll fight amongst each other.

   19. TPTom Papa2:14

       That's what I have.

   20. JRJoe Rogan2:15

       And every now and then, they'll turn it on you. And you're like, "Hey, hey, hey."

   21. TPTom Papa2:18

       (laughs) Yeah. Hey. (laughs)

   22. JRJoe Rogan2:19

       "Come on. I didn't touch your toys. I'm not wearing your pants."

   23. TPTom Papa2:21

       Yeah. "I'm, I'm the good guy."

   24. JRJoe Rogan2:23

       (laughs)

   25. TPTom Papa2:23

       (laughs)

   26. JRJoe Rogan2:23

       It's just-

   27. TPTom Papa2:23

       No. It is, it is a weird thing, especially when you know how you were as a kid.

   28. JRJoe Rogan2:28

       Oh. Yeah.

   29. TPTom Papa2:29

       And, you know, we've got daughters. And I'm probably, they're probably similar, th- where they're not as nutso as we were when we were little. But you still have to bring the hammer down even though you think it's kind of funny or you think it's not that big a deal. (laughs)

   30. JRJoe Rogan2:42

       Right, right.
3. 4:00 – 9:18

   Dance games, mirroring confusion, and martial-arts coordination

   1. JRJoe Rogan4:00

      But they do have this one game that I'll let them play for a long time. It's this crazy dance game.

   2. TPTom Papa4:05

      Oh, y- (laughs) Dance Revolution?

   3. JRJoe Rogan4:06

      I don't know what it's called, but they dance, and they dance-

   4. TPTom Papa4:08

      And you, they mimic the thing? (laughs)

   5. JRJoe Rogan4:09

      They dance to, uh, what's her face? Crazy. What's crazy face? Oops!... I Did It Again? Britney Spears.

   6. TPTom Papa4:15

      (laughs)

   7. JRJoe Rogan4:15

      Um, they dan- they dance to, "You better work, bitch. You want a Maserati?"

   8. TPTom Papa4:19

      (laughs)

   9. JRJoe Rogan4:19

      "You better work."

   10. TPTom Papa4:19

       (laughs)

   11. JRJoe Rogan4:20

       It's, "You better work, bitch." And they're doing, "Do, do, do." They're dancing. It's hilarious. But that's exercise. Like, and you're-

   12. TPTom Papa4:26

       Have you done it with them?

   13. JRJoe Rogan4:26

       Yes.

   14. TPTom Papa4:27

       Yeah.

   15. JRJoe Rogan4:27

       To Hell or What.

   16. TPTom Papa4:27

       It's funny.

   17. JRJoe Rogan4:28

       You have to... I've only done it, honestly, a couple of times. They've probably played it a million times. But, um-

   18. TPTom Papa4:33

       (laughs)

   19. JRJoe Rogan4:33

       ... you have to coordinate your movements to mirror the person on the screen.

   20. TPTom Papa4:37

       Right.

   21. JRJoe Rogan4:38

       But my instincts are to, like, uh, to not mirror, but to, to do what he's doing. If his right arm's going up, my right's going up.

   22. TPTom Papa4:44

       Right.

   23. JRJoe Rogan4:44

       'Cause, like, that's how you get taught in martial arts.

   24. TPTom Papa4:47

       Uh-huh. (laughs)

   25. JRJoe Rogan4:47

       So I'm not sure if I'm supposed to be doing that or if I'm supposed to be just mirroring him.

   26. TPTom Papa4:51

       I- i-

   27. JRJoe Rogan4:51

       Like, when he lifts up his right arm, am I supposed to lift up my left arm?

   28. TPTom Papa4:54

       (laughs)

   29. JRJoe Rogan4:54

       Because that's, that's the one that faces me. Is that how you're supposed to do it?

   30. TPTom Papa4:57

       No. You, you do whatever you see.
4. 9:18 – 13:24

   Kicking things, aging joints, and the workout “flow state”

   1. TPTom Papa9:18

      My wife can really move.

   2. JRJoe Rogan9:20

      I have a meniscus issue.

   3. TPTom Papa9:21

      Oh, yeah? What's that?

   4. JRJoe Rogan9:22

      I t- tore something in my meniscus.

   5. TPTom Papa9:24

      What's the meniscus? In your knee?

   6. JRJoe Rogan9:25

      It's the padding in between your knee-

   7. TPTom Papa9:27

      Yeah.

   8. JRJoe Rogan9:28

      ... and between, between your bones.

   9. TPTom Papa9:28

      You tore it?

   10. JRJoe Rogan9:29

       Yeah. Not that bad. Like, it's a little tear and I've been trying to deal with it without surgery, with stem cells.

   11. TPTom Papa9:34

       Oh, boy.

   12. JRJoe Rogan9:35

       But the problem is I like kicking things.

   13. TPTom Papa9:37

       (laughs) You're really good at kicking.

   14. JRJoe Rogan9:39

       That's one of my favorite things is kicking things.

   15. TPTom Papa9:40

       I know. I know.

   16. JRJoe Rogan9:40

       So it's hard for me to not kick things for a long time.

   17. TPTom Papa9:44

       (laughs)

   18. JRJoe Rogan9:44

       And when I, when I don't kick things-

   19. TPTom Papa9:45

       See?

   20. JRJoe Rogan9:46

       ... I just don't feel as good.

   21. TPTom Papa9:47

       We all have our things. Some people dance. Some people kick things. (laughs)

   22. JRJoe Rogan9:50

       I feel good when I hit that fucking bag, man.

   23. TPTom Papa9:53

       (laughs)

   24. JRJoe Rogan9:53

       When... I like to smoke weed. I smoke, like, two or three hits.

   25. TPTom Papa9:56

       Uh-huh.

   26. JRJoe Rogan9:57

       I get to a state of mind where I'm just... I just feel, like, my tendons, I feel my muscles and my bones. And then I just like to fucking zone out.

   27. TPTom Papa10:07

       (laughs)

   28. JRJoe Rogan10:07

       I'll put on s- some Led Zeppelin or something like that (singing) .

   29. TPTom Papa10:09

       (laughs)

   30. JRJoe Rogan10:15

       And I'll just start just going off on the... (singing) And it, it becomes like you feel like you're, uh, like you're just riding a, like a wave of movement.
5. 13:24 – 17:18

   Stand-up as addiction: chasing laughs, new tags, and bombing trauma

   1. TPTom Papa13:24

      (laughs) I think that, uh, it's... What you're describing and, like, having the kick is... I equate it to stand-up. It's like I'm no longer the same person when I'm not doing stand-up for several days.

   2. JRJoe Rogan13:37

      Mm-hmm. Right.

   3. TPTom Papa13:37

      That... And I think it's because I learned it. I g- I, I created this addiction, I created this-

   4. JRJoe Rogan13:43

      Yeah.

   5. TPTom Papa13:43

      ... thing that I no longer am, uh, the same person without it.

   6. JRJoe Rogan13:47

      You became a junkie.

   7. TPTom Papa13:48

      Yeah.

   8. JRJoe Rogan13:48

      Yeah. We're f- We're all, for sure, laugh junkies. I think we are so lucky that regular people don't know what it feels like-

   9. TPTom Papa13:55

      (laughs)

   10. JRJoe Rogan13:55

       ... to get a big laugh.

   11. TPTom Papa13:57

       Yeah, or they would do it.

   12. JRJoe Rogan13:58

       Dude, would be... No one that... do any other job.

   13. TPTom Papa14:01

       I know.

   14. JRJoe Rogan14:01

       They'd be like, "Fuck these other jobs, I wanna kill."

   15. TPTom Papa14:03

       Yeah. I think about that every time I walk through Vegas and you see all these people, like, drinking and at the tables and they're trying-

   16. JRJoe Rogan14:10

       Mm-hmm.

   17. TPTom Papa14:10

       ... to get a rush. They're trying to get something.

   18. JRJoe Rogan14:12

       Something.

   19. TPTom Papa14:12

       And you walk around with this secret-

   20. JRJoe Rogan14:14

       Secret, mm-hmm.

   21. TPTom Papa14:14

       ... in your mind that, like, "I'm getting something so much more potent than you're gonna get out here, just from being on stage."

   22. JRJoe Rogan14:21

       Joey Diaz did this bit the other night in the, in the original room and it was s- so hilarious and it was really fresh and you could tell, 'cause it was making him laugh.

   23. TPTom Papa14:28

       (laughs)

   24. JRJoe Rogan14:29

       And he was laughing. He was, he... You know Joey's got that (laughs) .

   25. TPTom Papa14:33

       (laughs)

   26. JRJoe Rogan14:33

       He's fucking dying laughing.

   27. TPTom Papa14:35

       Yeah.

   28. JRJoe Rogan14:36

       And I'm in the back of the room, I'm like, "You can't get any happier than that."

   29. TPTom Papa14:39

       (laughs) Yeah.

   30. JRJoe Rogan14:39

       That's as happy as a person can get.
6. 17:18 – 22:21

   Arena comedy logistics and why big crowds change timing

   1. TPTom Papa17:18

      How big was that crowd you played... I saw on Instagram this weekend?

   2. JRJoe Rogan17:21

      Oh, that was in Portland. Portland, Oregon. It was big.

   3. TPTom Papa17:24

      It looked huge.

   4. JRJoe Rogan17:25

      It has, like, 10,000 people.

   5. TPTom Papa17:27

      Oh.

   6. JRJoe Rogan17:27

      It was awesome.

   7. TPTom Papa17:27

      Now what is that, what is that doing to your act and your performance?

   8. JRJoe Rogan17:31

      You, uh, have to slow down a little bit because it's so loud.

   9. TPTom Papa17:35

      Mm-hmm.

   10. JRJoe Rogan17:36

       Like, you have to give them more, a little bit more time because, uh... I went to see Lewis Black once. I didn't r- I didn't even realize this and I had actually done theaters already and I was even doing the very theater that he was in.

   11. TPTom Papa17:49

       Uh-huh.

   12. JRJoe Rogan17:49

       And Joey Diaz and I were sitting in the back of this, uh...... this, this big theater that Lewis Black was playing in. And we watched him.

   13. TPTom Papa17:56

       Right.

   14. JRJoe Rogan17:57

       And he h- would hit a punchline and all these people around us would be laughing really loud. And then he'd hit the tag, and I couldn't hear the tag-

   15. TPTom Papa18:04

       Uh-huh.

   16. JRJoe Rogan18:04

       ... because there were so many people laughing at the punchline. I was like, "Oh."

   17. TPTom Papa18:10

       Right.

   18. JRJoe Rogan18:10

       Like, it really, like, cemented in my head. I was like, "Oh, this is a whole different feeling for the audience member than a club."

   19. TPTom Papa18:16

       Right.

   20. JRJoe Rogan18:16

       Because one of the crazy things about, like, if you... Like, the original room-

   21. TPTom Papa18:19

       Right.

   22. JRJoe Rogan18:20

       ... or some... A small room like that. When you, when you hit a punchline, when everybody's laughing, you can hit a tag and they're gonna hear it perfectly clearly.

   23. TPTom Papa18:26

       Yeah.

   24. JRJoe Rogan18:26

       'Cause there's not enough people's laughter to overwhelm the sound of the speakers.

   25. TPTom Papa18:31

       Yeah, of you on the microphone.

   26. JRJoe Rogan18:32

       But when there's 10,000 fucking people-

   27. TPTom Papa18:35

       (laughs) Yeah.

   28. JRJoe Rogan18:36

       ... you gotta give that one a little bit of air.

   29. TPTom Papa18:37

       Let it come back.

   30. JRJoe Rogan18:38

       Yeah, you gotta give those bits a little more air.
7. 22:21 – 24:44

   Most people are good: crowds, risk perception, and terrorism/plane-crash psychology

   1. JRJoe Rogan22:21

      If you really stop and think about live events, like, how well people in... Like, we don't get enough credit.

   2. TPTom Papa22:26

      I know.

   3. JRJoe Rogan22:27

      For every w... nutty person who does something crazy-

   4. TPTom Papa22:30

      Yeah.

   5. JRJoe Rogan22:31

      ... there's so many people that can keep it together.

   6. TPTom Papa22:33

      I know.

   7. JRJoe Rogan22:34

      It's like, it's really unfortunate that we view people the way we do sometimes because we concentrate on every single bad thing that happens in the news.

   8. TPTom Papa22:42

      I know.

   9. JRJoe Rogan22:42

      And yeah, there's a lot of bad things that happen in the news, but at scale, if you just have the sc... the scale of people, I think we're looking at it completely skewed. I think most people are really fine. Most people are cool.

   10. TPTom Papa22:54

       They are.

   11. JRJoe Rogan22:55

       Most people are nice.

   12. TPTom Papa22:55

       But that's why terrorism works, right? Because it's so spectacular that it scares the daylights out of everybody.

   13. JRJoe Rogan23:01

       Mm-hmm.

   14. TPTom Papa23:02

       But I think the same thing. It's like, okay, so this horrible thing happened on this night. But think about how many people were out that night.

   15. JRJoe Rogan23:10

       Right.

   16. TPTom Papa23:10

       Think about how many people were filling amphitheaters and arenas and small shops and small clubs. I mean, in Am... just in America.

   17. JRJoe Rogan23:20

       Yeah.

   18. TPTom Papa23:20

       Millions.

   19. JRJoe Rogan23:21

       Yeah.

   20. TPTom Papa23:21

       And everybody's cool, everyone's getting along, everybody's doing the right thing. You're right. There is definitely a lot of cool people. But it's this, it's the spectacular... It's like a plane crash.

   21. JRJoe Rogan23:31

       Mm-hmm.

   22. TPTom Papa23:31

       Right? There's been pla... There hasn't been a major plane crash in the US in a long time. But when it happens, it's... Oh, it's so mind-blowing because it's... Something fell from the sky. It's a big deal.

   23. JRJoe Rogan23:43

       Yep. Yeah, it's a bigger deal than a train. A train crash that kills the same amount of people doesn't shock us as much.

   24. TPTom Papa23:48

       No. It's on the ground (laughs) . You know what I mean?

   25. JRJoe Rogan23:51

       Yeah.

   26. TPTom Papa23:51

       It's like, "That thing fell from the sky? What happened?" We've all c... fantasized about how horrible that would be.

   27. JRJoe Rogan23:57

       Ooh.

   28. TPTom Papa23:58

       It has a big impact.

   29. JRJoe Rogan23:59

       Yeah.

   30. TPTom Papa23:59

       It has a real big impact.
8. 24:44 – 25:56

   Once Upon a Time in Hollywood: Manson kids, actor trivia, and the Bruce Lee controversy

   1. JRJoe Rogan24:44

      ... the worst possible scenario. Like, um, did you see Once Upon a Time in Hollywood?

   2. TPTom Papa24:48

      I did.

   3. JRJoe Rogan24:49

      So, those flower kids, right?

   4. TPTom Papa24:50

      Yeah.

   5. JRJoe Rogan24:51

      The, the murderous flower... The Manson kids.

   6. TPTom Papa24:52

      The Manson kids, yeah.

   7. JRJoe Rogan24:52

      Those... That's like worst case scenario.

   8. TPTom Papa24:54

      Yeah.

   9. JRJoe Rogan24:55

      And sometimes we think about people just on, you know... Just 'cause that's a possibility and it's such a glaring one-

   10. TPTom Papa25:01

       Mm-hmm.

   11. JRJoe Rogan25:02

       ... but it gets a disproportionate amount of energy and interest. 'Cause for the most part, most people-

   12. TPTom Papa25:07

       Yeah.

   13. JRJoe Rogan25:08

       ... are super fine.

   14. TPTom Papa25:09

       Yeah.

   15. JRJoe Rogan25:09

       Most people are great. Most people are friendly. Most people just wanna have a good time in this life.

   16. TPTom Papa25:14

       Yeah.

   17. JRJoe Rogan25:14

       They're not assholes.

   18. TPTom Papa25:15

       Right, exactly. And even the Manson kids, there's probably a couple of them that were fun.

   19. JRJoe Rogan25:20

       I bet there was. The girl who took off, the girl who was like, "Hey, I'll be right back." Skrrt.

   20. TPTom Papa25:23

       Oh, yeah. (laughs)

   21. JRJoe Rogan25:24

       (laughs) That, that girl in real life-

   22. TPTom Papa25:26

       You know who she is?

   23. JRJoe Rogan25:27

       ... did take off. No, who is it?

   24. TPTom Papa25:28

       In real life?

   25. JRJoe Rogan25:29

       Who?

   26. TPTom Papa25:29

       Do you watch Stranger Things?

   27. JRJoe Rogan25:31

       Yes.

   28. TPTom Papa25:32

       She's, uh, the, um... She's Ethan Hawke and Uma Thurman's daughter.

   29. JRJoe Rogan25:37

       What?

   30. TPTom Papa25:38

       Yes.
9. 25:56 – 34:59

   Gene LeBell, judo strength, and how Bruce Lee helped popularize mixed styles

   1. JVJamie Vernon25:56

      There's that story going around, uh... When we were talking about it the other day, that story with Bruce Lee that was loosely based in reality-

   2. TPTom Papa26:03

      Yeah.

   3. JRJoe Rogan26:04

      Mm-hmm.

   4. JVJamie Vernon26:04

      It had to do with, uh, Gene LeBell.

   5. JRJoe Rogan26:06

      Oh, Jesus Christ.

   6. JVJamie Vernon26:06

      He was a stuntman on, like, The Green Hornet or something like that.

   7. TPTom Papa26:08

      (laughs)

   8. JRJoe Rogan26:08

      Okay. Well, let me, let me tell you this.

   9. JVJamie Vernon26:10

      But he, he said it didn't... It wasn't real though. He-

   10. JRJoe Rogan26:11

       Le- let me tell you this then, 'cause talking from Gene, Gene was always s-... I've, I've known Gene for years. He's always super respectful about Bruce Lee.

   11. JVJamie Vernon26:19

       Oh, yeah, yeah.

   12. TPTom Papa26:19

       Mm-hmm.

   13. JRJoe Rogan26:19

       But he's also... He's... Okay, let me put it this way. If that actually did happen that way, if Bruce Lee fought Gene LeBell, Gene LeBell would grab ahold of him and obliterate his brain on the concrete 100 out of 100 times.

   14. TPTom Papa26:35

       Oh, really?

   15. JRJoe Rogan26:36

       Just let me just say that for... So, I'm not talking about the movie. And like-

   16. TPTom Papa26:40

       (laughs)

   17. JRJoe Rogan26:40

       There was a thing in the movie where I felt like they made Bruce Lee seem like a buffoon. And I'm like-

   18. TPTom Papa26:44

       (laughs)

   19. JRJoe Rogan26:44

       ... "Oh, I don't think he was ever really like that."

   20. TPTom Papa26:46

       Uh-huh.

   21. JRJoe Rogan26:46

       Like, dude, this is, like, kind of an important historical figure for martial arts. And I get it's just a crazy Quentin Tarantino movie-

   22. TPTom Papa26:51

       Yeah.

   23. JRJoe Rogan26:52

       ... and I get it the, the end of the movie did not... I mean, uh, spoiler alert. I don't wanna say what happened-

   24. TPTom Papa26:56

       Yeah.

   25. JRJoe Rogan26:56

       ... but they, he, he makes, takes liberties for entertainment's sake with a lot of different things.

   26. TPTom Papa26:59

       Yeah.

   27. JRJoe Rogan27:00

       But with that one, I was like, "Ooh."

   28. TPTom Papa27:02

       That's pretty crazy.

   29. JRJoe Rogan27:02

       "We're just gonna have some random dude that, that, you know, is a, a stuntman and Bruce Lee's a buffoon to him-"

   30. TPTom Papa27:08

       (laughs)
10. 34:59 – 45:35

    Elk meat, bread, New Zealand stags, and the ethics of high-fence trophy animals

    1. JRJoe Rogan34:59

       Pull up Tom Papa's Instagram and take a look at that sweet elk meat. Did you put it up on your Instagram?

    2. TPTom Papa35:03

       Ooh. No, I didn't.

    3. JRJoe Rogan35:04

       You didn't? Here, I'll send it to you. Or, I'll send it to Jamie.

    4. TPTom Papa35:07

       All right, you send it to Jamie. Uh ... Oh my God, that was so good.

    5. JRJoe Rogan35:12

       Dude, that shit's ridiculous.

    6. TPTom Papa35:13

       That's why I'm here today 'cause I've run out of-

    7. JRJoe Rogan35:15

       You cooked it-

    8. TPTom Papa35:15

       ... elk. (laughs)

    9. JRJoe Rogan35:15

       You cooked it so well. Hold on. I'm into food porn, obviously.

    10. TPTom Papa35:20

        Yeah. I was gonna bring you bread, of course, but-

    11. JRJoe Rogan35:21

        But here's an annoying thing about Apple.

    12. TPTom Papa35:23

        This was a surprise.

    13. JRJoe Rogan35:24

        If you wanna take a photograph from a text message, you can't search that person's name b- because otherwise you can't get the photo. You know what I'm saying? Like, if I search your name-

    14. TPTom Papa35:35

        Uh-huh.

    15. JRJoe Rogan35:36

        ... like, I have to actually send you a text, unless I'm doing something totally wrong.

    16. JVJamie Vernon35:40

        Uh, swipe down when you open up the messages app.

    17. JRJoe Rogan35:44

        Swipe down?

    18. JVJamie Vernon35:45

        Yeah. And then Al Papa's-

    19. TPTom Papa35:45

        Look at that sweet, sweet bread.

    20. JVJamie Vernon35:46

        ... the search bar pops up.

    21. JRJoe Rogan35:47

        Mm, that does look sweet. Okay.

    22. TPTom Papa35:48

        But it was, uh ... It was just ... I couldn't, I couldn't give it to you. It was just a little too stale, and I'm like, "I don't wanna-"

    23. JVJamie Vernon35:55

        S shit then.

    24. TPTom Papa35:56

        Yeah. Next time.

    25. JRJoe Rogan35:57

        You had stale bread? How is it ... How, how many days does, uh, uh, an actual real bread go before it's stale?

    26. TPTom Papa36:03

        About four days.

    27. JRJoe Rogan36:04

        Wow, that's so crazy.

    28. TPTom Papa36:05

        So I make two at a time, so it depends how, how much the ladies are eating.

    29. JRJoe Rogan36:09

        Wow.

    30. TPTom Papa36:10

        Yeah.
11. 45:35 – 59:15

    Coyotes, bears, and wildlife management: New Jersey’s black bear debate

    1. TPTom Papa45:35

       There's a coyote, uh, coyotes in my neighborhood are going nuts right now. They ripped apart a cat, three of them on one cat.

    2. JRJoe Rogan45:43

       Ooh.

    3. TPTom Papa45:43

       And somebody else lost one with, uh, two coyotes. They gang up together, and they go after these ...

    4. JRJoe Rogan45:49

       Cats-

    5. TPTom Papa45:49

       My cat is, uh, staying inside a lot these days.

    6. JRJoe Rogan45:51

       Cats have a terrible life in the, in, in the Hollywood area.

    7. TPTom Papa45:54

       Yeah, it's, it's-

    8. JRJoe Rogan45:55

       Yeah.

    9. TPTom Papa45:55

       ... there's-

    10. JRJoe Rogan45:56

        Co- yeah, cats are, they're in t- real trouble with these coyotes.

    11. TPTom Papa45:58

        I know.

    12. JRJoe Rogan45:58

        They're everywhere.

    13. TPTom Papa45:59

        I know, they're tricky.

    14. JRJoe Rogan46:00

        And they smell your cat.

    15. TPTom Papa46:01

        Yeah.

    16. JRJoe Rogan46:01

        They know where your cat is.

    17. TPTom Papa46:02

        Right.

    18. JRJoe Rogan46:03

        They know when your cat's there, they know when your cat's not there.

    19. TPTom Papa46:05

        Yeah.

    20. JRJoe Rogan46:06

        Don't even have to see them.

    21. TPTom Papa46:07

        Really?

    22. JRJoe Rogan46:07

        Oh, yeah. The wind's coming down? Like, say, if your ca- if your cat's in your backyard-

    23. TPTom Papa46:11

        Uh-huh.

    24. JRJoe Rogan46:11

        ... and there's a coyote a mile away on the street, and the wind hits that cat and blows towards that coyote, that coyote might be able to smell it.

    25. TPTom Papa46:20

        Geez.

    26. JRJoe Rogan46:20

        They, they can smell some insane amount of distance.

    27. TPTom Papa46:25

        Wow.

    28. JRJoe Rogan46:26

        And, you know, if, if the wind is blowing right, so it's blowing towards them, they can pick up these little things. And the next thing you know, they're, they're knowing that you got something in your yard.

    29. TPTom Papa46:35

        Geez Louise. Yeah.

    30. JRJoe Rogan46:37

        I wonder how, what the effective distance. You, the w- so the way it was relayed to me was like you should consider the way a coyote could smell, or a bloodhound, or any kind of crazy dog.
12. 59:15 – 1:06:16

    Comics’ war stories: brutal gigs, clean shows, and surviving early careers

    1. JRJoe Rogan59:15

       Greg Fitzsimmons did this gig in New Hampshire, and they told u- told him that he couldn't swear. So, Greg, when he was young, as he is today-

    2. TPTom Papa59:22

       (laughs)

    3. JRJoe Rogan59:22

       ... is, was a smartass, but-

    4. TPTom Papa59:23

       Yeah.

    5. JRJoe Rogan59:23

       ... today's professional smartass.

    6. TPTom Papa59:24

       Has not changed. (laughs)

    7. JRJoe Rogan59:25

       Back then he was just kinda learning the smartass craft.

    8. TPTom Papa59:28

       (laughs)

    9. JRJoe Rogan59:28

       So he immediately, uh, opened up with, "Hey, what's going on, fuckers?" Like ... (laughs)

    10. TPTom Papa59:34

        (laughs)

    11. JRJoe Rogan59:34

        And of course doesn't, doesn't clean up his act at all, and, uh, they sent him home. But what was crazy was-

    12. TPTom Papa59:41

        That's funny.

    13. JRJoe Rogan59:42

        ... on the way up there, they were telling him, "Do not drive at night."

    14. TPTom Papa59:46

        Uh-huh.

    15. JRJoe Rogan59:46

        Because of the moose.

    16. TPTom Papa59:47

        Right.

    17. JRJoe Rogan59:47

        'Cause you could hit a moose. But he goes, "After my show, they were so mad at me. They're like, 'Fuck you, go drive with the moose.'"

    18. TPTom Papa59:53

        (laughs)

    19. JRJoe Rogan59:53

        They sent him home.

    20. TPTom Papa59:54

        (laughs) We want you out of the state.

    21. JRJoe Rogan59:55

        In the dark in New Hampshire with the moose out.

    22. TPTom Papa59:59

        (sighs) I just love the picture of a young Fitzsimmons.

    23. JRJoe Rogan1:00:03

        He was, he was hilarious.

    24. TPTom Papa1:00:04

        (laughs) He was just being ... Yeah.

    25. JRJoe Rogan1:00:05

        He was such a smartass.

    26. TPTom Papa1:00:06

        Such a smartass.

    27. JRJoe Rogan1:00:07

        I've known Greg since we s- we literally started out, like, within a week of each other-

    28. TPTom Papa1:00:10

        Oh, really?

    29. JRJoe Rogan1:00:11

        ... doing open mic nights.

    30. TPTom Papa1:00:11

        Wow.

Episode duration: 3:22:47