Joe Rogan Experience #1334 - Fahim Anwar

Joe Rogan 0:00 (instrumental music plays) What's up, bro?

Fahim Anwar 0:01 What's up, man? How are you?

Joe Rogan 0:02 Good.

Fahim Anwar 0:03 Good to see you, outside the store.

Joe Rogan 0:04 I know.

Fahim Anwar 0:04 Isn't it weird when you run into a comedian that you don't normally hang out with outside the store? Like, "Oh." I mean, I would recognize you, but sometimes you'll meet someone that you met at a meeting, and then it's like at a Ralph's.

Joe Rogan 0:13 Ooh.

Fahim Anwar 0:13 And you can't place the context.

Joe Rogan 0:14 That's bad, especially if it's like an executive and they really like you to remember them.

Fahim Anwar 0:18 Yeah. Are you good at faking it?

Joe Rogan 0:19 Nope.

Fahim Anwar 0:20 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 0:20 Terrible.

Fahim Anwar 0:21 What's your tell?

Joe Rogan 0:22 I just say, " I don't know. I'm sorry."

Fahim Anwar 0:24 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 0:24 I say, "I'm sorry."

Fahim Anwar 0:25 Do you do this thing where you go, "It's good seeing you," instead of-

Joe Rogan 0:28 Nope.

Fahim Anwar 0:28 ... "Nice meeting you"?

Joe Rogan 0:29 Nope. I've done, "Nice meeting you," and they've go... We've met five times.

Fahim Anwar 0:32 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 0:32 And I go, "Oh, shit."

Fahim Anwar 0:33 I don't think people understand the volume of people that comedians, especially at your level, like, come across every day.

Joe Rogan 0:39 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 0:39 Like, how many shows we do. People coming, coming up to you afterwards and being like, "Oh, great set. Blah, blah, blah." And how many meetings in general.

Joe Rogan 0:45 Are you aware of, uh, Dunbar's number?

Fahim Anwar 0:48 Oh, is that like how many number of people you-

Joe Rogan 0:49 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 0:49 It's like 100 or something you can keep in your head?

Joe Rogan 0:51 So they think it's some... Well, I don't think it's an exact science, but I think they think it's somewhere around 150.

Fahim Anwar 0:56 I believe it.

Joe Rogan 0:56 You got about 150 people in your head.

Fahim Anwar 0:58 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 0:59 And after that, you're fucked.

Fahim Anwar 1:00 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:01 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 1:01 It's tough.

Joe Rogan 1:02 It makes sense, right?

Fahim Anwar 1:03 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:03 There's no way you can keep them all in there.

Fahim Anwar 1:05 No.

Joe Rogan 1:05 That doesn't make any sense. Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 1:07 I mean, it's cool outside of the store, you know, having a chat.

Joe Rogan 1:09 Yes.

Fahim Anwar 1:10 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:10 It's like it... You, you feel the most comradery with other comedians outside the store when you run into them at an airport.

Fahim Anwar 1:16 I was just thinking-

Joe Rogan 1:17 Like, ah.

Fahim Anwar 1:17 ... about that. Every time I go to LAX, I'll bump into, like, someone. Jo Koy, or last time it was Bert Kreischer-

Joe Rogan 1:24 Mm-hmm.

Fahim Anwar 1:24 And like Jesus Trejo were going to do, I think Utah. It's just like a hub for all of us.

Joe Rogan 1:29 Yes.

Fahim Anwar 1:30 So-

Joe Rogan 1:30 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 1:30 You'll see so many 'cause we're all just transients.

Joe Rogan 1:32 Mm-hmm.

Fahim Anwar 1:32 We're here for the middle of the week, and then when the weekends come for the clubs, we're all going somewhere.

Joe Rogan 1:37 Yeah, like people that wanna-

Fahim Anwar 1:38 Like all we're-

Joe Rogan 1:38 ... come to the store, Tuesday is like probably the best night.

Fahim Anwar 1:41 Oh. And people don't understand why, like, it's so stacked. Like, why is it you? Why is it Bert? Why is it Kreischer? Why is it Joey Diaz?

Joe Rogan 1:46 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 1:46 You're like, "Well, we're just biding time until the weekend." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:49 (laughs) Right? And practicing.

Fahim Anwar 1:50 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:51 Yeah. It's the... One of the weird art forms that you can't pra-... You can't practice alone. You have to use an audience.

Fahim Anwar 1:57 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:58 Don't you think?

Fahim Anwar 1:59 Oh, for sure.

Joe Rogan 2:00 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 2:00 And even like I'll be telling the same joke, and I won't really change the words, but it'll be like an inflection. It's almost like... I don't know, when a jazz musician or something, like, plays a note just a little differently.

Joe Rogan 2:10 Mm-hmm.

Fahim Anwar 2:11 You know, you ever notice that? Like a joke won't work, maybe because I'm, I'm like making a meal out of this word.

Joe Rogan 2:15 Mm.

Fahim Anwar 2:16 But if I kind of just, like, throw it away-

Joe Rogan 2:18 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 2:18 ... it... Oh, now that fixes it. It's interesting to do it long enough where you realize it's like... It's not the words sometimes. You... There's like a performance nuance to it to fix-

Joe Rogan 2:27 Right.

Fahim Anwar 2:28 ... the joke.

Joe Rogan 2:28 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 2:28 Like it's... On paper, it's the same joke.

Joe Rogan 2:30 You know what's really weird, is that none of this shit is written anywhere.

Fahim Anwar 2:34 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 2:34 Like what we're talking about.

Fahim Anwar 2:35 You know what the worst is? Like, I did, um... Like JFL, they're doing a taping out there for TV, and they're like, "Send us your transcript."

Joe Rogan 2:41 Ugh.

Fahim Anwar 2:42 So you... That means you have to sit at a computer and, like, it takes-

Joe Rogan 2:45 Write out your act?

Fahim Anwar 2:45 It takes the magic... Like, whatever your seven minutes you wanna do for the taping, they want you to sit on, like, on a Mac and open up Word and be like, "How you guys doing?" (laughs) Or whatever, just like type it all out.

Joe Rogan 2:56 You need a better manager.

Fahim Anwar 2:58 No, but the thing... Like, I refu-... I didn't do it.

Joe Rogan 2:59 Good for you.

Fahim Anwar 3:00 I just dodged it.

Joe Rogan 3:01 Yes.

Fahim Anwar 3:01 I asked Alia, 'cause I used to do it in the past, and I was like, "Yo, they're asking me to write this out. It's taking all the fun and organic." Like, I feel it would really hurt my performance-

Joe Rogan 3:10 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 3:10 ... if I literally wrote a transcript and I'm like a robot up there. And he was like, "Just don't do it." And I go, "What happens?" He's like, "Nothing. Nothing happens." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 3:19 (laughs) Well, it's-

Fahim Anwar 3:21 (laughs) He's like, he's like, "I've done it a million times." And said, "Just keep... Just be dodgy."

Joe Rogan 3:24 It's some pencil pusher. That doesn't make any sense.

Fahim Anwar 3:27 I think they get, you know-

Joe Rogan 3:29 Well, they have power over people that don't have a name yet.

Fahim Anwar 3:31 I think they have people above them-

Joe Rogan 3:32 Mm-hmm.

Fahim Anwar 3:32 ... breathing down their neck, and then, you know, shit rolls downhill, so then they keep on asking like, "Where is it? Where is it?"

Joe Rogan 3:37 Just change your number.

Fahim Anwar 3:38 Yeah, yeah. Well, that's why I had, like, the reps kinda be a buffer-

Joe Rogan 3:41 Yes.

Fahim Anwar 3:41 And I was just very aloof and like, "He's very busy." Blah, blah, blah.

Joe Rogan 3:43 Do they contact you at all? Was it direct to you?

Fahim Anwar 3:45 The thing is I would, I would see them throughout the fest.

Joe Rogan 3:47 Oh.

Fahim Anwar 3:47 And they're lovely people. I love these people, but like-

Joe Rogan 3:49 And they would say, "Where's the transcript?"

Fahim Anwar 3:50 They'd be like... (laughs) Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 3:52 They'd say, "In your mother's pussy?"

Fahim Anwar 3:52 And I'd be like, "Ah, I'm, I'm..." (laughs) No, I just-

Joe Rogan 3:54 Would you say that?

Fahim Anwar 3:54 No, I play the game a little better.

Joe Rogan 3:55 Oh.

Fahim Anwar 3:56 I go, "I'm not there yet. I'm not, I'm not-"

Joe Rogan 3:57 (laughs)

Fahim Anwar 3:57 "... 'in your mother's pussy level' yet."

Joe Rogan 3:59 (laughs)

Fahim Anwar 3:59 I still gotta be like-

Joe Rogan 4:00 You just gotta... It's a funny thing to say.

Fahim Anwar 4:01 "I gotta go back to the hotel room."

Joe Rogan 4:02 It's a funny thing to say.

Fahim Anwar 4:03 In your mother's pussy.

Joe Rogan 4:03 Yeah. "Where's the transcript?"

Fahim Anwar 4:05 "You didn't check your mother's pussy?"

Joe Rogan 4:07 (laughs)

Fahim Anwar 4:07 "I swore that I, I faxed your mom... Your mother's pussy has a fax machine. I, I faxed it to her."

Joe Rogan 4:12 (laughs) It should be in there.

Fahim Anwar 4:13 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 4:13 You should go check.

Fahim Anwar 4:14 Check around the corner. Yeah, so it's the worst, having to type it out, yeah.

Joe Rogan 4:18 Well, it's also like Just For Laughs is a weird situation. It's-

Fahim Anwar 4:22 It's evolved, right?

Joe Rogan 4:23 It used... Well, yes. It's a weird way of looking at it. It used to be very valuable for comedians.

Fahim Anwar 4:29 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 4:30 Now, it's very valuable for Just For Laughs.

Fahim Anwar 4:32 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 4:33 Because they have this enormous platform, and you go there and everybody knows that all these great comedians are gonna be there, and they make an enormous amount of money off the comedians. It used to be the comedians would go there because the in-... Because the industry would go there, and the whole key to the whole thing was development deals for sitcoms. And they tossed out so much money.

Fahim Anwar 4:52 I always hear about the gold rush-

Joe Rogan 4:54 Oh.

Fahim Anwar 4:54 ... and the heyday of JFL.

Joe Rogan 4:55 Yes.

Fahim Anwar 4:56 And how deals were getting thrown out left and right.

Joe Rogan 4:57 Mm.

Fahim Anwar 4:58 And like lives were made.

Joe Rogan 4:59 Oh, lives were made.

Fahim Anwar 5:00 I don't know that JFL.

Joe Rogan 5:01 But fake lives were made too. Like, they, they ruined it, like, 'cause... (sighs) I have a theory about people who aren't comedians. Like, they thi-... They see people laughing at stuff, and they see something's fun. They think it's funny. But a comedian can go, "This is just tricks."

Fahim Anwar 5:18 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 5:19 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 5:19 Yeah. Well, 'cause, uh, the amount... The volume of comedy th- that we watch on a regular basis-

Joe Rogan 5:24 Mm-hmm.

Fahim Anwar 5:25 ... is so much.

Joe Rogan 5:26 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 5:26 So we can discern. Like, Ian Edwards and I will talk about this all the time. We watch... We're students of comedy. We watch a lot of comedy. People can get like a huge pop out of the room, but, like, Ian can cut through the bullshit-

Joe Rogan 5:36 Right.

Fahim Anwar 5:36 ... and know that like, "Oh, that's a parlor trick." Or...

Joe Rogan 5:38 Mm-hmm.

Fahim Anwar 5:39 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 5:39 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 5:39 So it's a different type of thing. But I think a lot of times, you know, suits and everything, they just hear decibels-

Joe Rogan 5:45 Mm-hmm.

Fahim Anwar 5:45 ... or right place, right time, and they believe this, um, lightning rod moment or whatever, this great set is an ind- is indicative of their entire comedic being-

Joe Rogan 5:55 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 5:55 ... instead of like a lucky roll.

Joe Rogan 5:57 Yeah. Do you ever hear... What is that guy's name? Was his name Chicken? Is that what his name was?

Fahim Anwar 6:00 I always hear that as an example.

Joe Rogan 6:02 Yeah, yeah.

Fahim Anwar 6:02 Like, "I heard you blew the roof."

Joe Rogan 6:03 He was the guy that ended it all.... like, literally.

Fahim Anwar 6:07 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 6:07 'Cause I think they gave him a half a million dollars or something crazy like that.

Fahim Anwar 6:11 I kinda wanna see this chicken set.

Joe Rogan 6:13 (laughs)

Fahim Anwar 6:13 (laughs) Like, what was the set that just blew everyone's mind?

Joe Rogan 6:16 Well, he was a handsome fella and, uh, he was young and he was very e- energetic. And they thought he was going to be the next Jim Carey.

Fahim Anwar 6:24 Did you see him around... Was he an LA guy?

Joe Rogan 6:26 No, I don't know where he was from, but I saw him at Just For Laughs. I saw him quite a few times and, uh, he was a nice guy-

Fahim Anwar 6:33 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 6:33 ... but he was terrible.

Fahim Anwar 6:35 Oh.

Joe Rogan 6:35 I mean, in the way that, like, it was just a bunch of blah, but it w- there was no r- substance to it. There was no thought to it. So, they tried to put it together. They tried to make, like, a development deal, and he did a little touring, but it all went south and it fell apart, and he eventually committed suicide.

Fahim Anwar 6:52 Oh. Do you know how many years he was doing that?

Joe Rogan 6:54 He hung himself in front of a school.

Fahim Anwar 6:56 A school?

Joe Rogan 6:57 Yeah. Like, that's-

Fahim Anwar 6:58 Like, how does that-

Joe Rogan 6:58 That's what I had heard. Like, he hung himself on a tree in front of a school.

Fahim Anwar 7:02 Geez.

Joe Rogan 7:03 It was his last piece of performance art. I don't know if that's true. See, the thing is, like-

Fahim Anwar 7:07 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 7:07 ... I shouldn't even say it on a podcast.

Fahim Anwar 7:08 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 7:08 There are millions of people who can listen to it, but I did.

Fahim Anwar 7:10 But the hanging part is right, right?

Joe Rogan 7:12 Right. Yes.

Fahim Anwar 7:12 Okay.

Joe Rogan 7:12 He definitely committed suicide, which i- it's one of those things, man, where, like, i- if it didn't work out and he didn't develop, it didn't, he didn't n- He never became, like, a legit comedian. Everything all right over there, Jamie?

Fahim Anwar 7:25 Yeah. I think if, like, if that had happened and he actually had, I don't know, the equity of a standup comedian and been doing it for long enough-

Joe Rogan 7:32 Yes.

Fahim Anwar 7:33 ... that would be like a bump in the road, but you can come back from that.

Joe Rogan 7:36 Oh, yeah.

Fahim Anwar 7:36 If that's just sort of, like, your lotto ticket-

Joe Rogan 7:38 Mm-hmm.

Fahim Anwar 7:39 ... then that's why it was so drastic, I think.

Joe Rogan 7:41 Well, some people are just not... They're great comics, but they're not really into acting. They're not the best at acting and they get kind of forced into acting.

Fahim Anwar 7:48 Yeah. I love Mitch Hedberg's joke where he's like-

Joe Rogan 7:50 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 7:50 He's a great standup, you know? And it's like, you know, they'll come up to me and they'll be like, "Can you act?" It's like, that's like going up to a chef and being like, "Can you farm?" (laughs)

Joe Rogan 7:58 Yeah. (laughs) It's true.

Fahim Anwar 7:59 I mean, I'm butchering it, but yeah-

Joe Rogan 8:00 Yeah, but, uh-

Fahim Anwar 8:00 ... they're such different things.

Joe Rogan 8:02 Yeah. But it's a, uh, ev- You have an agent, right? And the agent wants to make money, so it's, it's an avenue for cash.

Fahim Anwar 8:07 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 8:07 And, you know, you look at Seinfeld and Tim Allen and Roseanne and Brett Butler, and there was all these comedians in the '90s that made a ass load of money-

Fahim Anwar 8:18 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 8:18 ... doing sitcoms.

Fahim Anwar 8:19 Well, that's the quicker payoff too. I, I even noticed it with my own career, like when I was a younger comedian out here in my, like, early 20s when I moved from Seattle, like, when I first got reps and stuff. I was going out on these auditions for, like, CW shows or-

Joe Rogan 8:31 Mm-hmm.

Fahim Anwar 8:32 ... just whatever. They just throw you against the wall.

Joe Rogan 8:34 Yeah, right.

Fahim Anwar 8:34 You're an actor. Comedy is this thing you do at night.

Joe Rogan 8:37 Right. They don't give a fuck if you-

Fahim Anwar 8:37 They don't really give a shit that you do standup.

Joe Rogan 8:39 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 8:39 They probably don't even think you're funny.

Joe Rogan 8:41 (laughs)

Fahim Anwar 8:41 (laughs) You know?

Joe Rogan 8:42 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 8:42 It's just a cute thing you do. It's like a-

Joe Rogan 8:44 Right.

Fahim Anwar 8:44 ... kid, like a dance recital or something. Like, they don't care as long as you're going to these auditions in the daytime. So, they just hope that you hit on what, like a series regular.

Joe Rogan 8:52 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 8:53 And then that's some cash flow for the biz.

Joe Rogan 8:54 Oh, yeah.

Fahim Anwar 8:56 But luckily, I mean, I don't know. I think your s- your successes are carved by your failures. So I'm kinda fortunate that... I, I would get some acting things here and there, but never anything substantial enough to take me away from standup.

Joe Rogan 9:08 Well, never anything substantial. The worst is when they tell you to stop doing standup 'cause it's messing with your acting role. Like, that's what they did to Tim Allen.

Fahim Anwar 9:15 Oh, really?

Joe Rogan 9:15 Yeah, 'cause his acting, uh, he was... You know, he was on Home Improvement. It was a gigantic hit. They were making kazillions of dollars, but he was a... I don't wanna say he was a blue comedian, but he...

Fahim Anwar 9:27 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 9:27 Some of it was a little risque.

Fahim Anwar 9:30 So, how did Saget deal with it?

Joe Rogan 9:32 He stopped doing standup.

Fahim Anwar 9:33 Oh, okay. So, he stopped.

Joe Rogan 9:35 Dude, Saget stopped doing standup forever. Forever.

Fahim Anwar 9:39 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 9:39 He really didn't start doing it again until after that show was done.

Fahim Anwar 9:43 Oh.

Joe Rogan 9:43 What the fuck was that show again?

Fahim Anwar 9:44 Uh, Full House.

Joe Rogan 9:45 Full House.

Fahim Anwar 9:45 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 9:46 Yeah. He stopped doing it for a long time and then kinda drifted his way back in, and now he does it regularly.

Fahim Anwar 9:53 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 9:54 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 9:54 I think that's... You know, maybe they did that at the time, but it's almost detrimental to let go 'cause standup is your car.

Joe Rogan 10:01 Mm-hmm.

Fahim Anwar 10:01 Like, it's your business. You're in control over it. And the TV stuff, it's like one hand washes the other. If you let that go, you're letting go of this revenue stream, so that when the acting gig is over, you're kind of fucked 'cause this wasn't, like, building along with it.

Joe Rogan 10:14 You, it also was a point of confidence where you understand what's funny and what isn't. Like, you know how to be funny because you're funny in front of a live audience all the time.

Fahim Anwar 10:22 And... All the time, yeah.

Joe Rogan 10:23 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 10:23 When you're at the store-

Joe Rogan 10:24 You have to be there all the time.

Fahim Anwar 10:25 (laughs) You're there so much.

Joe Rogan 10:26 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 10:26 Like, you're there more than someone at your lev- you would expect someone at your level to be at.

Joe Rogan 10:29 You have to be there.

Fahim Anwar 10:30 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 10:30 You can't slack off. Everyone knows those really famous guys that slacked off and started to suck.

Fahim Anwar 10:35 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 10:36 And the good thing is, uh, nowadays, the cycle of, uh, comedy, we all do a special basically every two years.

Fahim Anwar 10:42 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 10:42 Pretty much all of us. Burr, Kreischer, Segura, Ari kind of everybody kinda does a special or tries to do a special somewhere around every two years.

Fahim Anwar 10:51 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 10:51 So, every two years, you throw it all out and you're a beginner again.

Fahim Anwar 10:54 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 10:55 You have no fucking acts. (laughs)

Fahim Anwar 10:56 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 10:56 You're terrified. You have to come up with new premises and scramble, and that requires a lot of performing.

Fahim Anwar 11:02 Yeah. I like how Burr-

Joe Rogan 11:03 Just going around-

Fahim Anwar 11:03 ... was on here talking about... It was cool to hear a guy like him even talk about just the dilution of specials where he's like, "They're not special anymore."

Joe Rogan 11:10 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 11:10 It's just like a flyer or like a brochure-

Joe Rogan 11:12 It's a weird name, right?

Fahim Anwar 11:12 ... a brochure that I'm still around.

Joe Rogan 11:14 Yes.

Fahim Anwar 11:14 That's all it is.

Joe Rogan 11:15 Little bit, yeah.

Fahim Anwar 11:16 Yeah. I mean, the, obviously there's different degrees of polish with some of the specials and how great some of them are. But there's so many now.

Joe Rogan 11:22 It's a weird name.

Fahim Anwar 11:23 Special.

Joe Rogan 11:24 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 11:24 Well, it's just leftover from yesteryear. It's like, why are albums a certain length?

Joe Rogan 11:28 But-

Fahim Anwar 11:28 'Cause of the...

Joe Rogan 11:30 Yeah, but at least an album is, like, a collection of music that is all in one thing that you get that's kind of been consistent forever. A special, it's like, what is it anymore?

Fahim Anwar 11:41 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 11:42 What is it?

Fahim Anwar 11:43 I guess 45 minutes to an hour of jokes strung together.

Joe Rogan 11:46 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 11:47 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 11:47 To let everybody know, but it's also like, an album, like, if you go to see Fleetwood Mac... I don't know why the fuck I came up with Fleetwood Mac right now.

Fahim Anwar 11:54 (laughs) Yeah, I like Fleetwood Mac.

Joe Rogan 11:55 I do too.

Fahim Anwar 11:55 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 11:55 But you're expecting the hits, whereas a comic, you're expecting the shit that's not on the special. You're expecting all new stuff.

Fahim Anwar 12:02 Yeah. Yeah, that is-

Joe Rogan 12:03 So...

Fahim Anwar 12:03 ... interesting. Sometimes you'll get them where they're like, "Do the..."That's a very rare-

Joe Rogan 12:07 Right.

Fahim Anwar 12:07 ... type of act, though.

Joe Rogan 12:08 Very. That's like, Gaffigan gets that for sure-

Fahim Anwar 12:10 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 12:10 ... because he's got some classic bits, and I think that also happens with, um, Russell Peters. I think he gets some requests for classic bits.

Fahim Anwar 12:18 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 12:19 Um-

Fahim Anwar 12:19 Do you ever get that?

Joe Rogan 12:20 No. They do. I don't know how to do them anymore.

Fahim Anwar 12:22 Oh, I know. I purge them.

Joe Rogan 12:23 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 12:23 Like, I barely know...

Joe Rogan 12:25 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 12:25 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 12:25 Someone was yelling out Bruce Jenner the other day. I was like, "I can't do that bit. I don't know how to do it. I'll fuck it up."

Fahim Anwar 12:30 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 12:31 I'm like, "You don't want it. You don't want me to do a sad version-"

Fahim Anwar 12:35 Of just, like, what you can remember?

Joe Rogan 12:36 ... where I forget the taglines." Oh, let me do it again. Let me start again.

Fahim Anwar 12:40 Yeah. Redo, guys.

Joe Rogan 12:40 I fucked up, guys.

Fahim Anwar 12:41 Remember how-

Joe Rogan 12:41 I fucked up.

Fahim Anwar 12:42 ... much fun you were having?

Joe Rogan 12:43 Yeah. I fucked up.

Fahim Anwar 12:43 Let's go back to one.

Joe Rogan 12:45 So, you are one of the rare comedians that doesn't smoke pot.

Fahim Anwar 12:48 Yeah. I guess so.

Joe Rogan 12:48 We talked about that.

Fahim Anwar 12:49 And it's kind of interesting, especially being in this industry, not taking advantage of that because it's (laughs) all-

Joe Rogan 12:55 (laughs)

Fahim Anwar 12:55 Especially at the store. Like, you'll do a show, and they're like, "Hey, do you want these three bags, these three pillowcases of weed-"

Joe Rogan 13:00 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 13:00 "... and CBD oil?" And you're like, "Nah."

Joe Rogan 13:02 You don't take the CBD oil either?

Fahim Anwar 13:04 I haven't done, like... Is it good? What should I-

Joe Rogan 13:05 Oh, it's great for you.

Fahim Anwar 13:06 What would I use it for?

Joe Rogan 13:07 It's great for anxiety. It's great for... It rel- reduces inflammation. It's great for, uh... A lot of people use it for, uh, sleep. It's, uh, it's just good for you.

Fahim Anwar 13:19 Hmm.

Joe Rogan 13:19 It's like it's a he- it's a nutrient, you know? It's like, it's healthy for you.

Fahim Anwar 13:22 Yeah. It's hot right now.

Joe Rogan 13:24 It's very hot.

Fahim Anwar 13:24 Oh.

Joe Rogan 13:24 Really love this.

Fahim Anwar 13:24 If I was in the biz, I'd be like, "Get CBD on the phone."

Joe Rogan 13:27 Love CBD.

Fahim Anwar 13:27 (laughs) I love what CBD is doing.

Joe Rogan 13:28 Love it.

Fahim Anwar 13:30 "BD, how you doing?"

Joe Rogan 13:32 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 13:32 "Cannola's out. CBD is in." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 13:33 Yeah. Cannola is bullshit. That stuff's bad for you.

Fahim Anwar 13:37 Can you cook with CBD?

Joe Rogan 13:38 Uh, that's a good question. I bet you can't. I would imagine it has a low flash point, like it would burn quickly.

Fahim Anwar 13:46 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 13:46 I don't know. Let's find out.

Jamie Vernon 13:48 I think it's usually mixed with coconut oil.

Fahim Anwar 13:49 I think-

Joe Rogan 13:49 Oh.

Fahim Anwar 13:49 ... I think that people-

Joe Rogan 13:50 Coconut oil-

Fahim Anwar 13:51 (laughs)

Jamie Vernon 13:51 ... are getting coconut oil.

Joe Rogan 13:52 ... has a high flash point.

Jamie Vernon 13:53 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 13:53 Wait, doesn't, uh, grape seed oil have a low?

Joe Rogan 13:56 Grape seed oil, I think, has a high flash point, too.

Fahim Anwar 13:58 Oh.

Joe Rogan 13:58 I think it's good to cook with.

Fahim Anwar 13:59 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so it takes longer for it to burn down.

Joe Rogan 14:01 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 14:01 Okay.

Joe Rogan 14:02 It's a high temperature fla- high before it smokes.

Fahim Anwar 14:04 Mm-hmm.

Jamie Vernon 14:05 Some people said they've cooked with it, so-

Joe Rogan 14:06 Yeah.

Jamie Vernon 14:06 ... maybe they should try it.

Fahim Anwar 14:06 Fucking burnouts.

Jamie Vernon 14:08 (laughs)

Fahim Anwar 14:08 Stoners. Bunch of losers. I bet they stink. (laughs)

Jamie Vernon 14:12 (laughs)

Fahim Anwar 14:13 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 14:14 There's some people that do everything with weed, and they need to just stop.

Fahim Anwar 14:17 Where's the hemp people? I feel like you don't hear from them as much anymore.

Joe Rogan 14:20 (sighs) Yeah. They're on wa- they're laying in wait.

Fahim Anwar 14:22 Yeah. There was hemp, like, in, uh... Yeah. Was that, like, the back door? Like, 'cause hemp is cool. Like, what about...

Joe Rogan 14:25 Well, CBD is for grandma. That's how you get people to vote for it.

Fahim Anwar 14:29 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 14:29 Because grandma and grandpa use it, and it helps their joints.

Fahim Anwar 14:31 Right.

Joe Rogan 14:31 And they're like, (imitating old person) "Well, I'll tell you what. This CBD, I mean, it's not doing anything for my brain. I'm not getting high, but my joints never felt better. I feel amazing with the CBD."

Fahim Anwar 14:42 (laughs) Yeah.

Joe Rogan 14:42 "And I'm going to vote for it, and I really want to get ahold of Trump and let him know-"

Fahim Anwar 14:46 That it's not bad.

Joe Rogan 14:47 "... CBD is..."

Fahim Anwar 14:49 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 14:49 "It really is the future."

Fahim Anwar 14:50 Well, what is, what is his region from?

Jamie Vernon 14:52 The guy?

Joe Rogan 14:53 This old man.

Fahim Anwar 14:54 Yeah. (laughs)

Jamie Vernon 14:54 I don't know. Just random.

Joe Rogan 14:54 It's random.

Fahim Anwar 14:55 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 14:55 Random old guy from the middle of nowhere.

Fahim Anwar 14:57 (laughs) Yeah.

Joe Rogan 14:58 "CBD is what, uh, has revolutionized nutrition and really affected my life in a very positive way."

Fahim Anwar 15:05 I think people-

Joe Rogan 15:06 I feel like he's a little south, maybe Maryland.

Fahim Anwar 15:08 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 15:08 Maybe somewhere outskirts of Baltimore.

Fahim Anwar 15:10 People don't know you have that gear, or you forget. Like, you do voices really well.

Joe Rogan 15:13 I don't have that many, though. I can only do a few.

Fahim Anwar 15:16 I think... Are you the type, though, where, if you're doing a bit and you need this person to talk or whatever, you'll, you'll figure it out?

Joe Rogan 15:21 Yeah. I can get a few.

Fahim Anwar 15:22 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 15:22 There's a few voices I can get out. Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 15:25 Yeah, 'cause you're Alex Jones and, like, you got it built.

Joe Rogan 15:27 But I know Alex so well.

Fahim Anwar 15:29 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 15:29 I've known Alex for, like, more than 20 years, so it's like-

Fahim Anwar 15:31 So that's just easy.

Joe Rogan 15:32 Yeah. I've d- I've hung out with that guy. We've been hammered together so many times. It's like it's... That is the most misunderstood guy on the planet. He just needs somebody next to him.

Fahim Anwar 15:41 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 15:41 That's what he... He needs someone to go, "Alex, let's slow down. Like, you, you're m- you were, you had a real good point there, but..." (laughs)

Fahim Anwar 15:46 Yeah. Or he's, he's need a manager who's always with him.

Joe Rogan 15:48 Yeah. He even agreed with me. We talked about it. I said, "You just need, like, a rational journalist who's next to you to, like, st-..." He goes, "You're right. You're right. You're right. I do need that." And I, I go, "Just, you need someone who just balances it out."

Fahim Anwar 16:01 Even Keith.

Joe Rogan 16:01 Look, he was right about all this Jeffrey Epstein shit. That is a fucking fact. Alex Jones called this years ago. Years ago. He was saying that they take a lot of famous people to this island, and they have all these young girls that this guy hooks them up with. He was talking about this years ago. Now it is mainstream news.

Jamie Vernon 16:22 And those human hybrid-

Joe Rogan 16:23 Yes.

Jamie Vernon 16:24 ... experiments going on?

Joe Rogan 16:25 Yes. Yes.

Jamie Vernon 16:25 (laughs) Which sounds like a complete joke when he said it.

Joe Rogan 16:27 When he brought it up, we were like, "What?"

Fahim Anwar 16:28 (laughs)

Jamie Vernon 16:28 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 16:29 We were like, "What?" Now it's fucking mainstream news. This is a fact, man. Like, people want to write that guy off 'cause he'll tell you he's crazy. He'll let you know he's crazy. I mean, I... On my show, there was one of the, one of the famo- the funniest things he ever said. He's like, "Look, I'm going to be honest with you. I'm kind of retarded."

Fahim Anwar 16:45 Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Jamie Vernon 16:45 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 16:45 And I fell to the ground laughing. But that, but that's who he really is, man. People just have him lumped in, uh, you know. It's like some people, they don't represent the best aspects of themselves right to people, and then other people try to define them. Like, people try to define you.

Fahim Anwar 17:01 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 17:01 It's really... One of the things that, uh, that's really kind of weird about the more famous you get, the more people try to define you in a way that's detrimental or a way that's dismissive and limiting.

Fahim Anwar 17:13 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 17:13 Like, I've noticed that after this Bernie Sanders thing that I did. So, any- anybody listening to this, you, if you're, you're saying this, I am not right wing at all, so stop saying that. It's silly. It's foolish. I've interviewed right-wing people. I am 100% leftwing. The only thing that stops me from... The only things that I disagree with about leftwing people is support for the military, support for police, and the Second Amendment. That's probably it. Everything else across the board, I lean way left, in terms of, like... Bernie Sanders made a ton of sense to me, and I would 100% vote for him. Tulsi Gabbard is my favorite.

Fahim Anwar 17:49 Hmm.

Joe Rogan 17:50 I mean, I'm not, I'm not a rightwing person. So, this nonsense... Like, so many people were saying-

Fahim Anwar 17:54 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 17:55 ... that, you know, that Bernie Sanders spent this time on a rightwing podcast. I'm like, "What? What are you saying?"

Fahim Anwar 18:00 Sure. And don't you think he weighed the pros and cons of... Like, it was an opportunity for him, and I think-

Joe Rogan 18:04 I think it was-

Fahim Anwar 18:04 ... everyone thought it was a win as well.

Joe Rogan 18:05 I don't think he had any idea who I was.

Fahim Anwar 18:07 Really?

Joe Rogan 18:07 Yeah. I think it was one of his young staff members who's friends with Kyle Kulinski, who is, uh, a really good leftwing progressive talk show guy on YouTube.

Fahim Anwar 18:18 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 18:18 And Kyle hooked it all up. And, um, this, uh, this idea that...... you know, it's bad for someone to talk to people. It's just, it's foolish.

Fahim Anwar 18:28 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 18:28 There's, there's a weird thing that's going on right now.

Fahim Anwar 18:30 I thought it was a great platform for him to, like, get his ideas out there and to be heard in something other than just sound bites-

Joe Rogan 18:35 Yes.

Fahim Anwar 18:35 ... that could be taken out of context.

Joe Rogan 18:36 It's a great platform, I think, for anyone who's running for anything to have a long-form conversation w- and it's good for us, too, because we get to find out who they really are. You really can't hide in a long conversation.

Fahim Anwar 18:48 Oh, yeah. Three hours?

Joe Rogan 18:49 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 18:49 You can't, like, talk and point-

Joe Rogan 18:50 I only did an hour and 10 with Bernie. That's all he had, 'cause, you know, the guy's running for... He's legit running for pre- Like, he could be president.

Fahim Anwar 18:56 Right.

Joe Rogan 18:57 He's not like... (sighs) You know, like, there's some people that are running for president that are like, "All right, bro." You know? Like-

Fahim Anwar 19:02 (laughs) Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 19:02 Who was that guy? Zoltan... What is his name? He, he was the guy who was running, uh, the transhumanist platform. Istvan... How do you say his last name? Very nice guy. Sorry, I forget his name.

Fahim Anwar 19:15 Is that, is that this? For this coming year?

Joe Rogan 19:16 No, it was the last one.

Fahim Anwar 19:17 Oh.

Joe Rogan 19:17 It was 2016 when we had him on, but, you know, it was, like, one of those guys where you're like, "All right."

Fahim Anwar 19:21 Sure, why not?

Joe Rogan 19:21 Like Ben Gleib. You're like, "All right, good luck."

Fahim Anwar 19:23 Uh-huh. Do you, do you think Ben's gonna win?

Joe Rogan 19:24 Um... Oh, I do.

Fahim Anwar 19:26 Okay.

Joe Rogan 19:27 Oh, yeah.

Fahim Anwar 19:28 But you gotta respect the swing. That's what's great about this country, you know? Like-

Joe Rogan 19:30 The swing?

Fahim Anwar 19:31 The swing.

Joe Rogan 19:32 What are you talking about? << Da-da-da-da da-da-da da-da-da >>

Fahim Anwar 19:33 That you could run for president. No, no, not that swing.

Joe Rogan 19:36 Okay.

Fahim Anwar 19:36 Just, like-

Joe Rogan 19:36 (laughs) Anybody can run for president?

Fahim Anwar 19:38 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 19:39 Yeah, I do-

Fahim Anwar 19:39 And it sounds far-fetched. Like, yeah, okay.

Joe Rogan 19:41 Mm-hmm.

Fahim Anwar 19:42 But, I mean, you've gotta be crazy enough to think it can be you.

Joe Rogan 19:45 Well, look, anything can and will happen when it comes to being president. Like, people get assassinated, people get exposed as being a criminal. Like, look, do you remember when Michael Avenatti was the hero of the left?

Fahim Anwar 20:01 Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 20:01 The Democratic Party was like, "He's the guy that's gonna run against Donald Trump, and he's gonna take him down, 'cause he's tough and he's this and he's that, and Michael Avenatti, Michael Avenatt-" I mean, that, there is a compilation of left-wing pundits talking about the hero that is Michael Avenatti. You don't hear a fucking word from that guy anymore. So, if you were in a time capsule, right? A year ago, when everyone was Michael Avenatti crazy, and they just shoop, and then w- they woke you up. Fahim, it's 12 months later-

Fahim Anwar 20:28 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 20:28 ... and you'd be like looking over the news, "Hey, um, where's-"

Fahim Anwar 20:30 "Where's our guy?"

Joe Rogan 20:30 "... Avenatti?" I mean, I was-

Fahim Anwar 20:32 That happens on both sides.

Joe Rogan 20:33 I went all in.

Fahim Anwar 20:34 They'll, they'll have their champion, and then this other shit... You know?

Joe Rogan 20:36 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 20:37 D or R, there's always... Th- they ascend, and then there's some, like, dark shit from the past, and then you don't see them anymore.

Joe Rogan 20:41 But then there's guys that you know... Like, one of the things that I was getting at, during the Trump, uh, campaign, when he was running for president the first time, was like, "This guy's not going away. Like, this is not going away. He knows what he's doing."

Fahim Anwar 20:53 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 20:53 "He knows how to fuck with people."

Fahim Anwar 20:53 When did you know? Like, how, how, like, uh, early in the campaign did you kind of realize?

Joe Rogan 20:58 I don't know, man, but my s-

Fahim Anwar 21:00 Also, did you... Do you feel like you had, um, a better read on it just doing standup across the country? 'Cause I feel like you could be in a bubble-

Joe Rogan 21:07 Yes.

Fahim Anwar 21:07 ... you could be in New York and LA and just be like, "Oh, that's never gonna happen. This is ridiculous."

Joe Rogan 21:11 Yes.

Fahim Anwar 21:11 But doing standup in some red states, you kind of-

Joe Rogan 21:13 Mm-hmm.

Fahim Anwar 21:14 You're with the people, you're doing jokes, and, like, you get the temperature of, of an audience more so than someone who just has, like, a desk job.

Joe Rogan 21:20 For sure, but also, I have a lot of right-wing friends.

Fahim Anwar 21:22 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 21:22 A lot of right-wing friends, especially from the hunting world. I have a lot of friends that live in, like... I have friends that live in Iowa and Oregon, and they have a lot of right-wing friends too. And there's a whole part of the country that the big cities, New York and Los Angeles, and the, the big Demo- democratic-leaning cities, they were all dismissing. The, the Democrats thought that Hillary was the most experienced and Trump was a buffoon, and that that "grab her by the pussy" tape, that was it, "We got it, it's in the bag."

Fahim Anwar 21:53 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 21:53 They all believed that. But the middle of the country did not believe in her, they didn't trust her, they thought she was some sleazy politician who's been involved in the business forever, and she licks her finger and figures out which way the wind's blowing-

Fahim Anwar 22:08 (chuckles)

Joe Rogan 22:08 ... and that's what she says. And that... They, they thought that Trump was a straight shooter, and he's gonna drain that swamp, and he's gonna do this and bring jobs back, and he's talking about clean coal and...

Fahim Anwar 22:19 Yeah. It's almost like... I think he's just so outside of the system, like, uh, that it seemed that-

Joe Rogan 22:24 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 22:24 ... like, it c- he coulda done anything. Just, like, we want someone to throw a wrench into it.

Joe Rogan 22:28 Yeah. Yes, that's... There's a lot of people that just wanted a wrench thrown into it, and he definitely threw a wrench into it. And I think ultimately, that's going to be good for the left as well, because they're gonna realize that you can't just get away with that same stupid old-school politician style-

Fahim Anwar 22:44 Sure.

Joe Rogan 22:44 ... of doing it anymore.

Fahim Anwar 22:46 I think he's just blown up the playbook, even-

Joe Rogan 22:48 Yes.

Fahim Anwar 22:48 Like, even, uh, like, Bernie calling Trump, uh, w- was it stupid or an idiot in a post or something?

Joe Rogan 22:53 Mm-hmm.

Fahim Anwar 22:53 Like-

Joe Rogan 22:53 Amazing.

Fahim Anwar 22:54 ... this is a new paradigm.

Joe Rogan 22:54 Yes.

Fahim Anwar 22:55 Like, they're adopting, they're taking pages out of what worked for Trump.

Joe Rogan 22:58 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 22:59 Like, "Look, we've gotta, we've gotta take some bully tactics." And then even, uh, Moscow Mitch, I'm like, "Oh, they get it."

Joe Rogan 23:04 Mm-hmm.

Fahim Anwar 23:05 Nicknames are the only thing that stick.

Joe Rogan 23:06 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 23:07 Yelling in, in the rally, "Moscow Mitch!"

Joe Rogan 23:09 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 23:09 Like-

Joe Rogan 23:10 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 23:10 ... this is part of the playbook now.

Joe Rogan 23:11 "Sleepy Joe Biden."

Fahim Anwar 23:13 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 23:13 That's my favorite.

Fahim Anwar 23:14 People, it's-

Joe Rogan 23:14 (laughs)

Fahim Anwar 23:15 As it, as it evolved, as we, like, think that we get as adults, when it comes to politics, it goes back to grade school. The only thing that seems to be effective is yelling Moscow Mitch-

Joe Rogan 23:24 Mm-hmm.

Fahim Anwar 23:24 ... or, you know, Sleepy Joe Biden, or Pocahontas.

Joe Rogan 23:29 Yep. (laughs)

Fahim Anwar 23:29 These are, these a- These are, this is like stand-up rules.

Joe Rogan 23:32 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 23:32 It's just like Rickles, just-

Joe Rogan 23:33 Mm-hmm.

Fahim Anwar 23:34 Yeah, it's so interesting.

Joe Rogan 23:35 And, w- my favorite about the Pocahontas one was when people were saying that he's racist for calling Elizabeth Warren Pocahontas. It's a Disney movie. You can't, you can't, you can't go that far.

Fahim Anwar 23:46 Yeah, if someone called me Aladdin, I'd be juiced.

Joe Rogan 23:49 (laughs)

Fahim Anwar 23:49 Aladdin's cool.

Joe Rogan 23:50 He's a cool guy.

Fahim Anwar 23:50 He has a pet monkey.

Joe Rogan 23:51 Yeah, man.

Fahim Anwar 23:52 He li- eats apples.

Joe Rogan 23:53 Yes.

Fahim Anwar 23:53 Did you see him dance?

Joe Rogan 23:54 Did you see the most recent one?

Fahim Anwar 23:55 I did.

Joe Rogan 23:55 It was pretty good.

Fahim Anwar 23:56 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 23:56 Got bad reviews. I didn't understand it.

Fahim Anwar 23:58 Really?

Joe Rogan 23:58 People didn't like how-

Fahim Anwar 23:59 I mean, what were they expecting?

Joe Rogan 24:00 Well, they did- they felt... I, what I read was that Will Smith modernized it too much.

Fahim Anwar 24:04 (laughs) What does that mean?

Joe Rogan 24:05 I don't know.

Fahim Anwar 24:06 Like, I prefer a classic Genie.

Joe Rogan 24:08 Oh. They used modern urban vernacular.

Fahim Anwar 24:11 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 24:11 And they just weren't uncomfortable with that.

Fahim Anwar 24:13 You remember how, um...... you know, when the first photos came out of Will Smith as a genie. I love how little it takes to whip this nation into a frenzy. Like, (laughs) I'll wake up and open up Twitter and then the Will Smith genie, everyone is freaking out over that.

Joe Rogan 24:28 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 24:28 And it's crazy how, how we put them on the same pedestal. Like, some sorta Trump scandal or, like, Pedophile Island and then the Blue Genie-

Joe Rogan 24:37 Yes.

Fahim Anwar 24:37 ... or Sonic looks weird.

Joe Rogan 24:38 Right.

Fahim Anwar 24:38 Sonic the Hedgehog looked weird.

Joe Rogan 24:40 Right, the chainsaw.

Fahim Anwar 24:40 And both, both take on the same amount of fervor online.

Joe Rogan 24:44 Yeah, same amount of psychic energy.

Fahim Anwar 24:45 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 24:46 Yeah, one of my... I think one of the biggest gaffes, biggest mistakes ever was Ben Affleck thinking he could be Batman. If Ben Affleck never ran for Batman, he would have 50% less hate.

Fahim Anwar 24:56 You think?

Joe Rogan 24:57 Yes.

Fahim Anwar 24:57 Aren't there some people who liked or no? Was it, uh...

Joe Rogan 24:59 There's no one who liked Ben Affleck as Batman.

Fahim Anwar 25:01 Oh.

Joe Rogan 25:01 Even Ben Affleck didn't like himself as Batman.

Fahim Anwar 25:03 (laughs) Oh, no.

Joe Rogan 25:04 When was the last time you heard anybody talk about Ben Affleck as Batman? Ready, go.

Fahim Anwar 25:08 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 25:09 No one. Christian Bale as Batman, motherfucker.

Fahim Anwar 25:12 Sure. But that's still-

Joe Rogan 25:13 Even Michael Keaton's Batman, but he's old.

Fahim Anwar 25:15 That's so hard though, you know, (sighs) like, you're not gonna hit a home run with Batman every time. Right?

Joe Rogan 25:19 But everybody who does it and fails their career hits a ditch.

Fahim Anwar 25:23 Who do you think... All right, do you think... Okay, Kilmer, leveled up or no from Batman?

Joe Rogan 25:28 Well, Kilmer did it once and he did a good job, but then he decided to get fat.

Fahim Anwar 25:32 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 25:33 He's like, "Fuck this business."

Fahim Anwar 25:34 What about-

Joe Rogan 25:34 He went crazy.

Fahim Anwar 25:35 Oh.

Joe Rogan 25:36 Is he in the Top Gun movie, the new one?

Fahim Anwar 25:37 I hope so.

Joe Rogan 25:38 I hope so too.

Fahim Anwar 25:38 That'd be great. Oh.

Joe Rogan 25:39 But the lady's not in it, the girlfriend.

Fahim Anwar 25:41 Oh.

Joe Rogan 25:42 The really hot blonde.

Fahim Anwar 25:43 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 25:43 What was her name? Kelly something or another.

Jamie Vernon 25:45 McGillis.

Joe Rogan 25:45 McGillis, is that it? Yeah, she was beautiful back in the day.

Fahim Anwar 25:48 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 25:48 I think she might've, uh, gone the Val Kilmer route-

Fahim Anwar 25:50 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 25:51 ... if you know what I'm saying. (imitates engine revving)

Fahim Anwar 25:54 What, what about, (laughs) what about, uh, Clooney?

Joe Rogan 25:58 Look at that. Clooney, ah, Clooney was like a comedic-

Fahim Anwar 26:02 He's fine. He's selling Nespresso-

Joe Rogan 26:03 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 26:03 ... and tequila.

Joe Rogan 26:04 Nespresso. (laughs) He's, his was, like, a comedic take. Arnold Schwarzenegger weight, made way more money than George Clooney in that movie.

Fahim Anwar 26:12 Huh. Oh, like, me and my buddies-

Joe Rogan 26:13 Because on Worth It.

Fahim Anwar 26:13 ... we have a thing, we just say, "Cool party." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 26:16 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 26:16 Like, we just say it to each other no matter what party we're at.

Joe Rogan 26:19 What, what is that name, Alicia Silverstone?

Jamie Vernon 26:21 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 26:21 She was in that?

Jamie Vernon 26:22 Yes, she was back then.

Joe Rogan 26:22 And Chris O'Donnell?

Jamie Vernon 26:23 Yep.

Joe Rogan 26:24 What? It's a really good show. Why did I forget about that? He was Robin.

Jamie Vernon 26:27 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 26:27 Now he's on a TV show with LL Cool J.

Fahim Anwar 26:29 Yeah. What is that one? Is that a, like, a NCIS or something or, uh...

Joe Rogan 26:31 That is something that the same people who talk like that guy I was making fun of, that's what they, they DVR that.

Fahim Anwar 26:36 Oh, oh yeah.

Joe Rogan 26:37 That's a wonderful show.

Fahim Anwar 26:38 Dude-

Joe Rogan 26:38 LL Cool J.

Fahim Anwar 26:39 Like, once you get to certain parts of the country, isn't it interesting-

Joe Rogan 26:41 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 26:41 ... to find out what their favorite shows are?

Joe Rogan 26:42 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 26:43 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 26:43 Yeah. That's where all those NCIS shows, that's where they get all their millions of views.

Fahim Anwar 26:47 For sure.

Joe Rogan 26:48 Tha- that's a wonderful show. Chris does a great job and he just pairs well with LL Cool J who's-

Fahim Anwar 26:55 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 26:55 He's a little aggressive to me. I mean, uh, he's all right, he's a good fella I guess, but I really love Chris. I wish we'd get more work. We should b- bring him back to movies, man.

Fahim Anwar 27:06 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 27:06 I think he'd be a, an excellent Captain Kirk. He could be Captain Kirk.

Fahim Anwar 27:11 Also... Oh. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 27:12 (laughs)

Fahim Anwar 27:13 Like, I go to my aunt's house and that's just playing all the time.

Joe Rogan 27:16 Yes. (laughs)

Fahim Anwar 27:16 Like, like Burn Notice. I mean, that's not even on anymore.

Joe Rogan 27:18 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 27:18 But, like, these USA shows.

Joe Rogan 27:19 No. Yeah. JAG, remember JAG?

Fahim Anwar 27:21 Oh my God, JAG.

Joe Rogan 27:22 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 27:22 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 27:22 Reruns of JAG.

Fahim Anwar 27:23 My brother.

Joe Rogan 27:24 My show's on. JAG. Love it.

Fahim Anwar 27:27 (laughs) How... And the thing is, like, we can laugh about these shows, but they're like, "20 seasons?"

Joe Rogan 27:31 (laughs)

Fahim Anwar 27:32 (laughs) JAG was on for 20 seasons?

Joe Rogan 27:34 Well, we were just going over Survivor the other day. Survivor was on when Fear Factor debuted. It was already on the air. And then Fear Factor came out in 2001 or '02, somewhere around, right after September 11th. I remember that 'cause I remember being asked questions like, "Was it appropriate to have a show about fear after September 11th?"

Fahim Anwar 27:51 Oh my God.

Joe Rogan 27:52 Some, some guy asked me that. I literally wanted to climb through the phone and strangle them.

Fahim Anwar 27:55 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 27:56 I'm like, "You fucking bitch."

Fahim Anwar 27:57 What was your answer though? Was it...

Joe Rogan 27:59 Like, "That's nonsense."

Fahim Anwar 28:00 What if you walked back?

Joe Rogan 28:00 It's a game show, stupid.

Fahim Anwar 28:01 You're like, "I'm sorry. I didn't know that fear would play such a factor." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 28:04 For you. Yeah. Um, but, so Survivor's been on, what did we say it was? 28,000 seasons?

Jamie Vernon 28:11 I think it's on the 39th, I believe.

Joe Rogan 28:13 39th season.

Fahim Anwar 28:14 It's still going?

Joe Rogan 28:15 Yes. You didn't even know?

Fahim Anwar 28:16 No.

Joe Rogan 28:17 I think The Amazing Race is still going too. Do you remember that show?

Fahim Anwar 28:19 It sure is, yeah.

Joe Rogan 28:20 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 28:20 Yeah. CBS is killing it.

Joe Rogan 28:21 Yes.

Jamie Vernon 28:22 That one won the award every year for the Emmys, like, best show or best game show or whatever, reality, I don't know what it is.

Joe Rogan 28:28 Did it?

Jamie Vernon 28:28 But yeah.

Joe Rogan 28:29 Wow.

Jamie Vernon 28:29 12 times in a row or something.

Joe Rogan 28:31 Crazy. Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 28:32 Did you like Fear Factor more than... 'Cause I remember I loved News Radio.

Joe Rogan 28:37 Mm-hmm.

Fahim Anwar 28:37 Like, that was one of my favorite shows. So, did you enjoy that more or Fear Factor? Are there different things?

Joe Rogan 28:42 They're definitely different things. I enjoyed the paycheck from Fear Factor far more.

Fahim Anwar 28:45 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 28:46 Um, I liked working with the actors, but I loved News Radio way more.

Fahim Anwar 28:51 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 28:51 News Radio was just a far better show.

Fahim Anwar 28:53 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 28:53 So it was a really good show.

Fahim Anwar 28:54 Well, they're different things. They're very different animals.

Joe Rogan 28:56 It ruined me. It would, it would... It's like going from The Comedy Store to Uncle Fuckstick's Chuckle Hut-

Fahim Anwar 29:03 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 29:04 ... in, on a Monday night. You know? It's like every other sitcom that I looked at, every other sitcom that I read for or, or that I got scripts for rather, I was like, "Oof, this is just not good stuff."

Fahim Anwar 29:16 Isn't it interesting when you get sides, like, just sides-

Joe Rogan 29:19 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 29:19 ... or just, like, one scene or two scenes for a show and you can tell it's good just from that?

Joe Rogan 29:22 Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Fahim Anwar 29:23 That's so rare.

Joe Rogan 29:24 It is rare.

Fahim Anwar 29:24 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 29:24 Yeah. When someone's a good writer. Good sitcom writing is hard to do, man. That is a really hard gig.

Fahim Anwar 29:31 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 29:31 I mean, there's a r- but and then, but then some people have bad sitcom writing, but they know how to make a bad successful sitcom. Like, there's bad successful sitcoms-

Fahim Anwar 29:41 Sure.

Joe Rogan 29:41 ... that last forever. They're just inoffensive enough to stay on the air and keep you watching with your mouth slack. Like, uh ...

Fahim Anwar 29:49 Yeah, yeah. I mean, formulas exist for a reason.

Joe Rogan 29:51 Those Big Bang kids, they're so, they're so clever with their writing.

Fahim Anwar 29:57 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 29:57 That's what keeps me tuned in. I'm waiting for the vocabulary to last.

Fahim Anwar 30:00 Does this guy ever shut off CBS? (laughs)

Joe Rogan 30:02 No. (laughs)

Fahim Anwar 30:02 Just keep it on the whole time.

Joe Rogan 30:04 I tried FOX-

Fahim Anwar 30:05 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 30:05 ... but they're too hostile.

Fahim Anwar 30:07 Did you know that your TV has other channels, sir?

Joe Rogan 30:09 No. What? (laughs)

Fahim Anwar 30:10 Yeah, there's other channels, other programming you can watch.

Joe Rogan 30:11 Well, when they took Bill O'Reilly off the air, I said, "CBS is my channel."

Fahim Anwar 30:16 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 30:16 That's my channel now.

Fahim Anwar 30:17 Yeah.You ever been in a, like, an audition, and it's terrible, but everyone goes through the audi- the, the motions where everyone's just, like, cracking up like it's-

Joe Rogan 30:25 Oh, like it's nonsense.

Fahim Anwar 30:26 ... The Greatest Show on Earth?

Joe Rogan 30:27 Yeah. Ugh.

Fahim Anwar 30:27 Like it's Def Jam. Like, 'cause the writers and the directors are in the room, and it's like ...

Joe Rogan 30:30 Ugh, they fake laugh-

Fahim Anwar 30:32 And they're-

Joe Rogan 30:32 ... to get everybody excited.

Fahim Anwar 30:33 Yeah, they have to, 'cause I think they need this rocket fuel-

Joe Rogan 30:36 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 30:36 ... to get this project off the ground.

Joe Rogan 30:37 Yes.

Fahim Anwar 30:37 And they need to give the writer confidence. They have to give the director confidence.

Joe Rogan 30:40 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 30:40 They have to give the studio people confidence that it's all good.

Joe Rogan 30:42 It's a fake m- moment, the fake laugh. It's gross. And the thing is, though, like ... (laughs)

Fahim Anwar 30:48 It's also, not only is it gross, though, but it's the 30th time. They're, they're just-

Joe Rogan 30:53 Yes.

Fahim Anwar 30:53 There's 30 people-

Joe Rogan 30:54 Right.

Fahim Anwar 30:54 ... in the waiting room.

Joe Rogan 30:55 Mm-hmm.

Fahim Anwar 30:56 And they're laughing like it's the first time.

Joe Rogan 30:57 They're faking it left and right.

Fahim Anwar 30:59 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 30:59 Up and down.

Fahim Anwar 31:00 And we know fake laughs.

Joe Rogan 31:01 Ooh, we do know fake laughs.

Fahim Anwar 31:02 Come on. He-

Joe Rogan 31:03 It's, it's offensive.

Fahim Anwar 31:04 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 31:04 If someone's fake laughing at you, it's almost worse than not laughing.

Fahim Anwar 31:07 Sure.

Joe Rogan 31:07 It is worse than not laughing at all.

Fahim Anwar 31:08 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 31:08 If you say a joke, and they're like, "Ha ha ha."

Fahim Anwar 31:10 Oh, you're like, "Get him out of here." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 31:12 "Get, you get out of here, you bad person."

Fahim Anwar 31:14 (laughs) Yeah.

Joe Rogan 31:15 "You, you, you, you, you, you."

Fahim Anwar 31:16 It's the quickest way to heckle, though, right? Just like, "Ha!"

Joe Rogan 31:19 (laughs)

Fahim Anwar 31:19 "Ha!"

Joe Rogan 31:20 Right, no one can say anything.

Fahim Anwar 31:22 When I'm laughing-

Joe Rogan 31:23 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 31:23 ... it's like the Fredo thing. "No, I thought your name was Fredo."

Joe Rogan 31:26 Dude, that Fredo thing-

Fahim Anwar 31:27 "Dude, you're not Fredo? Dude, I was talking to my buddy. I thought that you were Fredo."

Jamie Vernon 31:29 (laughs)

Fahim Anwar 31:29 Mm.

Joe Rogan 31:29 D- did you see that?

Jamie Vernon 31:31 Yeah, why?

Fahim Anwar 31:31 Yeah, of course.

Joe Rogan 31:32 D- did you see it, Jim? That Chris Cuomo guy s- r- Donald Trump had the best line today. Donald Trump won the internet today with this. He said, "Should we red-flag Chris Cuomo 'cause he seemed unhinged, he looked ... He was using terrible language, should not have a gun?" (laughs)

Fahim Anwar 31:49 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 31:49 He basically exposed those red-flag laws. He goes like, "You see a guy like that, he's irrational. That guy's irrational." He goes, "I'll wreck your shit. I'll throw you down a flight of stairs."

Fahim Anwar 31:58 I like, I liked the stairs comment. That was ... I enjoyed that.

Joe Rogan 32:00 Like, what is he talking about? 'Cause the guy called you Fredo, and he's saying that Fredo-

Fahim Anwar 32:03 I didn't know-

Joe Rogan 32:03 ... is the same thing as the N-word?

Fahim Anwar 32:05 I didn't know Fredo was derogatory. Or, maybe I'm new to it. I just ... And not that I would ever try to call someone Fredo. Sometimes, you know?

Joe Rogan 32:12 It's not!

Fahim Anwar 32:13 I don't know.

Joe Rogan 32:13 It's a fucking character in a movie. It's like Aladdin.

Fahim Anwar 32:16 Is it like, uh, there's no, like ... I don't know. Nothing-

Joe Rogan 32:20 Cultural context?

Fahim Anwar 32:21 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 32:22 I'm Italian.

Fahim Anwar 32:22 Oh.

Joe Rogan 32:22 There's no cultural context for Fredo where people are like, "What the fuck did you say?"

Jamie Vernon 32:27 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 32:27 That doesn't exist.

Fahim Anwar 32:28 Sure.

Joe Rogan 32:28 It does not exist.

Fahim Anwar 32:29 Right.

Joe Rogan 32:30 Well, you could say it for someone who's a traitor, but why ... That doesn't even make sense with Chris Cuomo. He's just, it's just a loser-

Fahim Anwar 32:36 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 32:36 ... In a, in um, in a movie.

Fahim Anwar 32:37 Sure. Well, I guess, like, you know what he's trying to do? I mean, obviously he's trying to insult him.

Joe Rogan 32:42 Yes.

Fahim Anwar 32:42 Even if there is no history of this word existing for ... You know, I'm ignorant.

Joe Rogan 32:47 Mm-hmm.

Fahim Anwar 32:47 I don't know if it does exist or not. But, like, you know this guy's trying to take shots.

Joe Rogan 32:51 It's certainly not a compliment.

Fahim Anwar 32:52 Sure.

Joe Rogan 32:52 Yeah. I mean, it's a loser in a movie.

Fahim Anwar 32:54 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 32:55 It's a brother that always fell short, and he turned, turned on his own brother-

Fahim Anwar 32:59 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 32:59 ... who was the godfather.

Fahim Anwar 33:00 What if he-

Joe Rogan 33:00 Because he wanted to be the godfather.

Fahim Anwar 33:02 What if he explained this insult to Chris Cuomo?

Joe Rogan 33:04 That would be great.

Fahim Anwar 33:05 He goes, "Fredo was a weak Italian in, in the movie, and I-"

Joe Rogan 33:08 Yeah, I feel like-

Fahim Anwar 33:08 ... "I'm referencing your character."

Joe Rogan 33:09 Yes. You are the son of a great man 'cause, you know, he's Mario Cuomo's son.

Fahim Anwar 33:15 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 33:15 And you probably ... You know, let's, let's be honest about why you're here.

Fahim Anwar 33:20 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 33:20 You know, the name is familiar.

Fahim Anwar 33:22 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 33:22 And, you know, it helps.

Fahim Anwar 33:24 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 33:25 But it's, it's that Italian energy that, like ... And again, this is my people.

Fahim Anwar 33:32 L- Yeah, yeah. Are you full Italian?

Joe Rogan 33:33 This is my people. No.

Fahim Anwar 33:34 Okay.

Joe Rogan 33:34 Three-quarters, though.

Fahim Anwar 33:35 Mm.

Joe Rogan 33:35 But these people that, that react that way are common. It's like, "What? What the fuck did you say to me? You want ... I'll fucking wreck your shit."

Fahim Anwar 33:45 Yeah, but-

Joe Rogan 33:46 You're not supposed to be a respected political pundit and behave like that. That is nonsense.

Fahim Anwar 33:53 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 33:53 That is nonsense. That's nonsense. It's a, it's a silly way to behave. It's silly. That guy needs to work out more.

Fahim Anwar 34:00 He's got to be extra-

Joe Rogan 34:00 But he works out a lot.

Fahim Anwar 34:01 It's tough. It's tough when, uh-

Joe Rogan 34:02 Might be on too much testosterone, so we need to take him to ... Tell the doctor, "Just pare you down a little bit."

Fahim Anwar 34:08 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 34:08 "Take whatever you're at, just drop it by half. Settle down, bro." Or, "Just work out really hard before you go outside."

Fahim Anwar 34:16 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 34:16 "Do some yoga."

Fahim Anwar 34:17 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 34:17 "Meditate."

Fahim Anwar 34:18 I like when those, uh ... 'Cause LA's a pretty passive town for the most part. You'll get some of those ... You'll get, like, an East Coast guy. You're like, "Oh, shit."

Joe Rogan 34:23 Ugh.

Fahim Anwar 34:23 "Who is this guy?" You know what I mean?

Joe Rogan 34:24 Long Island.

Fahim Anwar 34:25 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 34:26 Yeah, East Coast, Long Island.

Fahim Anwar 34:26 Like, he's visiting from out of town. Like, whoa, whoa. No one here-

Joe Rogan 34:28 Hey, Fredo!

Fahim Anwar 34:29 "Yeah, we don't actually fight here, we just, we just talk big."

Joe Rogan 34:30 "Go get my shine box." Yeah. It's, um ... It was a v- very embarrassing moment, but I think it's a very important moment. Look at him. First of all, he is Fredo for life now.

Jamie Vernon 34:43 (laughs)

Fahim Anwar 34:43 Whoa.

Joe Rogan 34:43 I hope he understands that. He's Fredo for life.

Fahim Anwar 34:47 Un- unless you want to get tossed down a flight of stairs.

Joe Rogan 34:48 He ain't tossing anybody down a flight of stairs. That's nonsense. He doesn't want to get sued. He's not going to do that. He's not going to touch somebody.

Fahim Anwar 34:54 He'll hire someone.

Jamie Vernon 34:55 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 34:55 No, he, he's not going to do that.

Fahim Anwar 34:56 Let hit and throw you down a flight of stairs.

Joe Rogan 34:57 Not doing shit. Not doing a goddamn thing. That's one of the reasons why it's so funny. He's not doing nothing. This ... Th- that is Fredo.

Fahim Anwar 35:06 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 35:06 You'll never get away from that now. You better embrace that shit. You better start selling Fredo T-shirts-

Jamie Vernon 35:11 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 35:11 ... with your face on it.

Fahim Anwar 35:12 Merch?

Joe Rogan 35:12 Listen, CNN's probably gonna fire him, I would imagine.

Fahim Anwar 35:15 No, I think they're standing behind him.

Joe Rogan 35:17 Get the fuck out of here.

Fahim Anwar 35:18 Yeah.

Jamie Vernon 35:18 Yeah, they did. Yeah, yeah.

Fahim Anwar 35:19 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 35:19 Are they really?

Jamie Vernon 35:20 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 35:21 For now.

Fahim Anwar 35:21 I think they felt like he was attacked or unprovoked, and-

Joe Rogan 35:24 What?

Fahim Anwar 35:24 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 35:24 By someone calling him Fredo?

Fahim Anwar 35:26 Yeah, man. Those are fighting words, dude.

Joe Rogan 35:27 Come on.

Fahim Anwar 35:27 If someone called me Fredo, I'm not even Italian, I would snap.

Jamie Vernon 35:30 (laughs)

Fahim Anwar 35:30 I'd go, "How dare you?"

Joe Rogan 35:31 He ... He's a silly man, but that's what's, what exposes him is that he's a silly man. It wasn't like someone was being equally aggressive to him and he was defending himself. Sometimes, like, if you're in a situation where someone's very aggressive to you, you almost have to be aggressive back just to let them know, "Hey, I'll go there with you."

Fahim Anwar 35:49 Yes.

Joe Rogan 35:49 "Just ... We could, we could go to a dark place right now. And, you know, I'm not gonna let you hit me. I'm not gonna let you do something to me if you think that I'm a pushover. You know, I'm here to defend myself." But that wasn't that way. Like, someone was mocking him, and he turned violent, said he'd throw you down-

Fahim Anwar 36:03 I just think it was a little bit of a honey pot situation-

Joe Rogan 36:05 ... a flight of st-

Fahim Anwar 36:05 ... where he just wanted to get a rise, and he was recording from down low. He ... They wanted him to do something.

Joe Rogan 36:10 (laughs)

Fahim Anwar 36:10 They really-

Joe Rogan 36:11 Chris Cuomo, this is CNN. CNN's lost their fucking mind. Chris Cuomo defended himself when he was verbally attacked with the use of an ethnic slur.... "in an orchestrated setup," the spokesperson said. "We completely support him for now." Listen to me. This is not done.

Fahim Anwar 36:27 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 36:27 This is not done. This is just beginning to take on a, a form-

Fahim Anwar 36:30 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 36:30 ... of its own. You can't, you can't say that's an ethnic slur. That is a fucking character in a movie.

Fahim Anwar 36:35 Yeah. That was news to me. I was like, "Oh, fuck."

Joe Rogan 36:36 It's not an ethnic slur. And him saying it, that's like calling the N-word. That is so-

Fahim Anwar 36:40 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 36:41 ... preposterous. That is so offensively stupid.

Fahim Anwar 36:45 Do you ever get that? Like, uh, people trying to take shots or get you to slip or something?

Joe Rogan 36:49 Most people are nice. Most of them are nice.

Fahim Anwar 36:51 Yeah, for the most part. But don't you get-

Joe Rogan 36:51 I've had guys say, uh, goofy shit to me, and I try to say goofy shit back to them.

Fahim Anwar 36:55 Like, at shows or just on the street or what?

Joe Rogan 36:56 Yeah, just in both things. But I'm not in a... I'm not a, um, a hostile person.

Fahim Anwar 37:01 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 37:01 I look hostile-

Fahim Anwar 37:02 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 37:02 ... but I'm not hostile. Like I'm-

Fahim Anwar 37:04 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 37:04 I'm nice for the most part. I've had people get dicky with me.

Fahim Anwar 37:07 And then what do you do? How do you handle it?

Joe Rogan 37:08 Get dicky back.

Fahim Anwar 37:09 Just like...

Joe Rogan 37:10 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 37:11 You say, "I'll throw you down a flight of stairs"? (laughs)

Joe Rogan 37:12 (laughs) I don't say that. It's just... It's not... It never escalates to that.

Fahim Anwar 37:17 Oh.

Joe Rogan 37:17 It's like some people get weir-... You know who gets weird?

Fahim Anwar 37:19 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 37:19 The fucking autograph people at the airport. They just sell you autographs.

Fahim Anwar 37:21 How do they know, man? How do they, like... Would you be surprised sometimes?

Joe Rogan 37:24 They just... Somebody tell somebody off.

Fahim Anwar 37:25 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 37:25 Somebody, somebody pays somebody off or something.

Fahim Anwar 37:26 What do you do? Do you sign or do you just keep walking?

Joe Rogan 37:27 I tell them, "I'll sign one. I'll sign one." They get mad at me. "I got a stack of these." I go, "No, no, no. I'm not working for you."

Fahim Anwar 37:32 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 37:33 "Not working for you." Like, there's people that charge people that go to those conventions.

Fahim Anwar 37:37 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 37:37 And they'll sit at a booth, and they'll charge someone X amount of dollars. Like, it's like 20 bucks or more (clears throat) for an autographed photo. I don't do that. I'm not going to do that ever. So I'm not, I'm not... I don't w-... I don't even want you selling my picture. I don't want it to be sold.

Fahim Anwar 37:52 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 37:52 I don't want my autograph to be valuable. But if, if I fel-... If I thought someone-

Fahim Anwar 37:56 But-

Joe Rogan 37:56 ... was really a fan and they wanted me to sign something, 'cause-

Fahim Anwar 37:58 That's different.

Joe Rogan 37:59 Yes. I would sign something for them.

Fahim Anwar 38:00 Yeah. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 38:00 I'd be happy to. But that's-

Fahim Anwar 38:01 Instead of, like, a 40-year-old guy with a ponytail and a stack of-

Joe Rogan 38:03 If you had a stack of fucking photos of me-

Fahim Anwar 38:06 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 38:06 ... in various... You're selling those.

Fahim Anwar 38:08 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 38:08 I know you're selling those. So some guy... One guy got mad at me, and he was like following me around LAX. I was like, "Dude, I'm not signing any more." He's like, "Next time I see you, okay?" I'm like, "I'm not signing anymore. I'm going."

Fahim Anwar 38:17 But, you know, by signing one of them, you're making it very valuable. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 38:21 I don't care.

Fahim Anwar 38:21 If you sign the whole stack-

Joe Rogan 38:22 That's fine.

Fahim Anwar 38:22 ... you're cheating it.

Joe Rogan 38:23 I'm not gonna be rude. I'm not gonna be rude. So I'm just trying to like, "Look, I'll sign one," and I tell them that. Like, I got a bunch of them in Portland this weekend. They were... They, they... There was like 10 people who met me at the airport.

Fahim Anwar 38:31 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 38:31 I said, "I'll sign one."

Fahim Anwar 38:32 I think one is good.

Joe Rogan 38:33 But I ran into a guy-

Fahim Anwar 38:34 They can't complain.

Joe Rogan 38:34 ... in Philadelphia that got mad. H- he tried to get me to sign another one. I go, "I'm not signing that." And then he goes, he goes, "You don't fu-... You fucking forget you're fans." I go, "You're not a fan." I go, "You're selling these."

Fahim Anwar 38:42 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 38:42 He goes, "What, you think they're worth a lot?" I go, "If they're..." Why are you here then?

Fahim Anwar 38:45 Oh my God. This is like some weird mental gymnastics. Like, "Did you bet it?"

Joe Rogan 38:48 Just, "You douchebag." He went like, "They're worth... Your, your, your fucking autograph's worth about 6.95." I go, "And you're a mooch." I go, "You're over here trying to get me to work for you." I go, "Go get a job." And so we had this like weird conversation.

Fahim Anwar 38:57 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 38:57 Like, "What are you saying? You want me to sign these so you could sell them, but you're saying they're not worth anything. So I'm a loser. But you're meeting me at the airport to try to get me to sell things and sign things."

Fahim Anwar 39:05 You looked up my flight.

Joe Rogan 39:06 'Cause it's so... It's so silly. It's so silly. But I just don't like the idea of it because primarily I don't like the idea that there's some weird loophole where someone can get you to work for them. They're just showing up and, "Here. Sign these real quick, and I'm gonna sell them."

Fahim Anwar 39:20 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 39:20 'Cause it's... You're, you're asking someone to work for you.

Fahim Anwar 39:23 Yeah. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 39:23 Even if it only takes five minutes. 'Cause they'll-

Fahim Anwar 39:25 Or they're taking something from you.

Joe Rogan 39:26 Fu-... One guy had 30 pictures. He had 30 p-... I go, "How many you got there?" He goes, "30." I go, "Are you out of your fucking mind?"

Fahim Anwar 39:32 How funny would it be if you just, like-

Joe Rogan 39:33 "How long is it gonna take?"

Fahim Anwar 39:34 ... if you sat at a Starbucks and you just did them all?

Joe Rogan 39:36 Oh.

Fahim Anwar 39:37 You're like, "Hold on, family."

Joe Rogan 39:38 Well-

Fahim Anwar 39:38 "I'm just gonna get through these."

Joe Rogan 39:39 The UFC makes fighters do that. They sit down, and they, they... But they give them out to fans, and they do stuff with them. They-

Fahim Anwar 39:45 They're promotional material.

Joe Rogan 39:45 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 39:46 There's not one guy who's trying-

Joe Rogan 39:46 Exactly.

Fahim Anwar 39:47 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 39:47 And everybody signs them. Like, all the fighters in the card sign them, and then, th- you know, they're valuable to fans. As a fan, like, I have, I have a signed, uh, poster out there from Efren Reyes, uh, that I purchased. And Efren Reyes is like the world's greatest pool player.

Fahim Anwar 40:01 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 40:01 I love pool.

Fahim Anwar 40:02 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 40:02 And he's this, uh, Filipino wizard. They call him The Wizard. He's an amazing pool player. So I signed... I, I bought it. Like, it was signed by Efren Reyes. I got so excited. But I would never ask Efren to sign something and then sell it.

Fahim Anwar 40:15 You're not gonna track him down at the airport?

Joe Rogan 40:16 Yeah. Someone at the, at the pro-... at the promotion for the tournament, they probably got him to sign a bunch of them, and they sold them.

Fahim Anwar 40:22 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 40:22 And that probably was... helped offset the costs and-

Fahim Anwar 40:25 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 40:25 ... things along those lines. But there's just no... The, the autograph collector is a different animal than the autograph seller. So if you're a person that is just like, "I love Fahim's comedy. He's really funny. I want to go to The Comedy Store and see if I can get him to sign something for me," that's a fan.

Fahim Anwar 40:39 For sure.

Joe Rogan 40:39 But if you have 30 of them, you're going to go on eBay, and you're going to try to make 50 bucks.

Fahim Anwar 40:43 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 40:43 That's what you're doing.

Fahim Anwar 40:44 Well, you're not gonna make 50 bucks.

Joe Rogan 40:45 (laughs)

Fahim Anwar 40:45 I'm just gonna tell you right now.

Joe Rogan 40:46 They might-

Fahim Anwar 40:47 I mean-

Joe Rogan 40:47 ... if they hold on to it.

Fahim Anwar 40:48 ... if they sit on... If they actually sit-

Joe Rogan 40:49 Dude, you're a funny guy.

Fahim Anwar 40:50 Well, that's nice.

Joe Rogan 40:50 You have a lot of talent.

Fahim Anwar 40:51 Thank you. What have you seen? I'm always surprised because, like, I came in the store. I always see you at the store, you know? And you're like, "Oh man, your videos are funny." And like, I don't know what you watch. You're just like on this other level.

Joe Rogan 40:59 (laughs)

Fahim Anwar 40:59 So I don't, I don't, I don't think it even reaches you.

Joe Rogan 41:01 No. That's nonsense. That, that other level thing is a complete total illusion.

Fahim Anwar 41:06 (sighs) A little, a little-

Joe Rogan 41:07 I'm here to tell everybody.

Fahim Anwar 41:07 Yes and no, 'cause you are a rarity, I think, of the comedians at the store who have gotten to a certain point where you kind of have a relationship with everyone at The Comedy Store, from the door guy to the waitresses to like, you know, stand-ups like me or like Santino or Ian. Like, you know, you have a relationship with everyone. You come through. You spend time at the store. You have... You're being pulled by a lot of things, like UFC and the family and all this stuff, the podcast. But you will hang at the store.

Joe Rogan 41:33 Well, that's a community. It's very important to me.

Fahim Anwar 41:35 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 41:36 Tha- that community means... It means a lot. It means a lot. Um, and I like, I like supporting the up-and-coming people. I think it's very important. I think, um, all the door people, the guys who work the lot, those guys are all... They're... We're all gonna work together someday, you know?

Fahim Anwar 41:52 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 41:52 It's very possible. They'll, they'll be... You know, I'll be at one theater. They'll be at another theater, you know?

Fahim Anwar 41:57 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 41:57 I'll be at a club over here. They'll be at a club over there. We're all the same.

Fahim Anwar 41:59 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 42:00 It's just an illusion. It's just time. And I think it comes from martial arts, because in martial arts everybody trains together. You know, I'm a black belt in jujitsu, but I'm as friendly to the white belts as I am to other black belts. We, we shake hands. We hug. If I roll, I'll roll with a guy who's new, just starting out. I'll give him tips. I'll help him out.You know, we're all in it together. And I feel like that's the approach that I take with comedy, the same approach. I don't believe in this elitist shit. I think it's stupid. I think it's- it's bad for everybody.

Fahim Anwar 42:33 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 42:33 It's bad for the person who becomes elite, even more so than it's bad for the- the up-and-comer. Because the up-and-comers, if you don't, if you dismiss up-and-comers and you treat them like shit, like you treat them like you're better than them, you're above them, you don't need to, like, talk to them, you don't make eye contact with them, you ignore them when they're trying to talk to you... And I've seen that from comics. And, um, I think it's bad for you. It- it... For them, it just makes them angry at you.

Fahim Anwar 42:56 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 42:56 They can't wait till... And I have been in that position before where someone's dismissed me and been shitty to me, and then I surpassed them fame-wise, and then-

Fahim Anwar 43:05 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 43:05 ... passed by. And then they become friendly and weird with you.

Fahim Anwar 43:08 And you never forget.

Joe Rogan 43:08 And you kind of remember. Yeah, man. Yes.

Fahim Anwar 43:10 Yeah. It's very strange when you see the 180.

Joe Rogan 43:12 Yes.

Fahim Anwar 43:12 And some... You'll be in comedy long enough to see plenty of 180s.

Joe Rogan 43:15 Mm-hmm.

Fahim Anwar 43:16 And it's not... I mean, you'll-

Joe Rogan 43:18 I'll give you some names after the show.

Fahim Anwar 43:19 (laughs) Oh, really?

Joe Rogan 43:20 Yes.

Fahim Anwar 43:20 Oh, I would love that. Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 43:21 Yeah, got some names, some good names, some juicy names.

Fahim Anwar 43:23 And then you- you act however the relationship is now at this point in time.

Joe Rogan 43:27 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 43:27 But that's always in the back of your mind. You're like, "I remember when it was not this."

Joe Rogan 43:30 But there's- there's also I want to give someone an opportunity for redemption. Like, I wanna believe that they've changed.

Fahim Anwar 43:37 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 43:37 So I've- I... It's hard. I don't wanna be that mean person who's like, that fuck that guy for life.

Fahim Anwar 43:42 For sure, for sure.

Joe Rogan 43:43 But I do... (sighs)

Fahim Anwar 43:44 Like, hopefully that they grow, that maybe they've grown as a person and- and then-

Joe Rogan 43:47 Yeah, and maybe been humbled because th- the career kind of, like, skidded-

Fahim Anwar 43:51 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 43:51 ... and came to a- a- a- an abrupt halt and they're trying to rebuild.

Fahim Anwar 43:55 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 43:55 They used to be someone that thought that they could... There was a time, um, mostly pre-internet, where comics looked forward to doing a couple things. One for- one thing they look forward to is bumping people.

Fahim Anwar 44:08 Uh-huh, and doing a lot of time, or what?

Joe Rogan 44:10 They... Yep. They like... But the bumping people was the big part. It wasn't just doing time. So, like, they're doing the time thing if you... If, like, Dave Chappelle calls up and says, "I want to do a half an hour," nobody cares. Like, who, who wants to do-

Fahim Anwar 44:19 He's really good about it too.

Joe Rogan 44:20 Yes.

Fahim Anwar 44:20 He'll wait till-

Joe Rogan 44:22 Yes.

Fahim Anwar 44:22 ... everyone's gone up, and then he'll go at the- at the end of the night.

Joe Rogan 44:24 He's a beautiful person. I love that guy to death. He's- he's the exception to the superstar rule 'cause he's a sweetheart of a guy. But there are some that wanted that spot of the bumper where they could just show up, "Oh my God, Mike's here. Mike's here." "Faheem, I'm sorry. Mike's going up."

Fahim Anwar 44:40 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 44:41 "Mike has to go up." And Mike looks at you like, "I'm going up." You know, like, there's a few of those guys-

Fahim Anwar 44:45 Like, and that fed them.

Joe Rogan 44:46 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 44:46 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 44:46 Feeds them. It feeds them to let them- to let you know that you're not on their level. Yeah. I- I- I've heard of, like-

Fahim Anwar 44:52 I feel like that happens way less now.

Joe Rogan 44:54 Oh, yeah.

Fahim Anwar 44:54 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 44:55 Yeah. Yeah. Well, first of all, because people like us talk about it on podcasts.

Fahim Anwar 44:59 Uh-huh. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 45:01 (laughs) Like, if there's one guy that was, like, a super dick to you-

Fahim Anwar 45:03 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 45:03 ... and you're like, "Let me tell you something, Joe."

Fahim Anwar 45:06 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 45:06 (laughs) There's a fucking guy. You know, it's... We're all comics, man. Just like when you go to a jujitsu school, you take a class or two classes, you're a fucking martial artist. You know, you might suck-

Fahim Anwar 45:17 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 45:17 ... but you're a martial artist. If you're- you're up there on that goddamn stage, you're a comic. In- in my eyes, you're just like me. I'm just... I've been doing it for 30 years and you've been doing it for, you know, less.

Fahim Anwar 45:28 17, 18.

Joe Rogan 45:28 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 45:29 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 45:29 Yeah. That's what it is. That's- that's the only difference, just the time in. And if you get 30 years down and what you get out of those 30 years is that you're better than everybody and that you can act like you're better than everybody-

Fahim Anwar 45:40 (sighs) Yeah.

Joe Rogan 45:41 ... and you're aloof and you're dismissive, you've missed everything.

Fahim Anwar 45:44 Yeah. I think-

Joe Rogan 45:44 The beauty... Like, when I come to this store-

Fahim Anwar 45:46 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 45:47 ... I like that I get hugs.

Fahim Anwar 45:48 Yeah. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 45:50 It's always hugs.

Fahim Anwar 45:50 I was surprised 'cause when you first- first started coming back, like, uh, I would just think, like, I'd be on the wall or whatever, but you're like, "Yo, what's up? What's up, Faheem?" And, like, give me a hug. You know ?

Joe Rogan 45:58 (laughs)

Fahim Anwar 45:58 And, like, we haven't really, like, talked a ton, but that, something as little as that goes so far.

Joe Rogan 46:05 Well, that's nice. Yeah. I- it... I hope it does go far. I want- I want comics to feel good about the community that we have.

Fahim Anwar 46:13 Yeah. And I remember, 'cause when I got passed at the store, it was the dark ages. Like, I know the store has had various dark ages. Bobby talks about, like, the '90s and stuff. But you were at the Icehouse, so, like, you weren't even really part of the story. You were still just, like, going there a lot.

Joe Rogan 46:27 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 46:27 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 46:28 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 46:28 So, it was very cool for you to come back, and then Adam take over, and then it just kind of evolved into what it is now.

Joe Rogan 46:34 It's crazy, man.

Fahim Anwar 46:35 'Cause I remember when it was not that. And there was kind of a beauty in it, though. I'm, like, pretty fortunate in hindsight that I got passed then.

Joe Rogan 46:41 What year was this?

Fahim Anwar 46:42 (sighs) I think I got passed in, like, 2010.

Joe Rogan 46:44 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 46:45 2009, 2010.

Joe Rogan 46:45 That was three years into the dark ages. The dark ages started at 2007.

Fahim Anwar 46:48 Oh.

Joe Rogan 46:49 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 46:49 Yeah. It's also crazy to, like, know that, you know, the history and see the video and then, "Oh, I exist on this timeline now."

Joe Rogan 46:56 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 46:57 The store was just... You know, when I'm living in Seattle, it's this far away place. Even Hollywood and entertainment and all that, it's just this place that exists on a box.

Joe Rogan 47:04 Mm-hmm.

Fahim Anwar 47:05 It's not real. It is and it isn't.

Joe Rogan 47:06 Right.

Fahim Anwar 47:07 This isn't a real thing. And then you move to LA and I'm hanging at the Improv. I'm a ghost. You know, people are walking through me.

Joe Rogan 47:14 (laughs)

Fahim Anwar 47:14 You know when you first come to town?

Joe Rogan 47:15 Yeah, man.

Fahim Anwar 47:16 I swear to God, like-

Joe Rogan 47:17 Oh, fuck yeah.

Fahim Anwar 47:17 ... I'm literally... I'm like-

Joe Rogan 47:17 I remember that.

Fahim Anwar 47:18 ... "Guys, I do comedy. Goo-" And they're walking through me, and I'm just like, my hands aren't... And I would just hang out. And that's part of the deal. You just have... You realize leaving your apartment-

Joe Rogan 47:27 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 47:27 ... is a win in itself. Like, you may not be getting up as much as you want to, but even just, like, being out, it's a win.

Joe Rogan 47:33 Yes.

Fahim Anwar 47:34 Because someone will be like, "Oh, you should do my..." You know?

Joe Rogan 47:36 Mm-hmm.

Fahim Anwar 47:36 'Cause out of sight, out of mind.

Joe Rogan 47:37 Yep.

Fahim Anwar 47:37 So I would just loiter at the Improv. I was nobody. And then I would s- Like, it was, like, Sandler and someone... And, like, maybe Kevin James. I think Sandler and Kevin James. They wa... And that was like... I'm sure that's very standard. I mean, I've been here so long, it's very standard now. You see a million people. Like, I very r-... I don't get starstruck at all, but it's kind of like, "Oh, fuck." Those- those are people in a box. Those are people in the box that I watch.

Joe Rogan 47:59 Right.

Fahim Anwar 47:59 And they just walked in.

Joe Rogan 48:01 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 48:01 So that was kind of like a little mind fuck and adjustment, you know?

Joe Rogan 48:05 Well, when I was in Boston in 1988 when I started, Mecca was the store. Mec-

Fahim Anwar 48:11 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 48:11 That was where Pryor performed and Sam Kinison and Hicks started out there. And Hicks used to do sets... He, he was a doorman there. And, you know, Letterman was there and Robin Williams was there. It was just... It was Mecca. And-I thought, when I first started doing comedy, when I fir- when I realized like, "Okay, this is what I wanna do," like after the first set I ever did, I was like, "Okay, this is what I'm doing. I'm doing this now. I'm, I'm, I'm all in." You know, took me a while to get funny, but I mean, I, I had it in my head that I was gonna get to com- th- The Comedy Store.

Fahim Anwar 48:44 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 48:44 And then when I finally got there, I remember thinking how surreal it was, 'cause I was like ... I guess I was 26, 25? No. 25 or 26, I think, the first time I stepped foot in The Store. And I remember sitting in the back of the room going, "Holy shit, I can't fucking believe I'm here."

Fahim Anwar 49:00 Isn't it odd it's, it's just a place?

Joe Rogan 49:03 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 49:04 But it isn't.

Joe Rogan 49:04 It's not. It's not just a place. It's not.

Fahim Anwar 49:06 I, I know, but like when you ... I guess the manifestation of the place, like okay, it's a stage.

Joe Rogan 49:10 Mm-hmm.

Fahim Anwar 49:11 There's chairs. There's a table. You ever see it in the daytime?

Joe Rogan 49:13 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 49:13 You're like, "All right, this is, this is just a space."

Joe Rogan 49:15 I like going there in the day-

Fahim Anwar 49:16 It's odd.

Joe Rogan 49:17 It feels like it's waiting.

Fahim Anwar 49:18 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 49:19 Like it's waiting.

Fahim Anwar 49:20 But it doesn't come alive until nighttime.

Joe Rogan 49:21 Yeah, it's like a, a bedded animal, like a hibernating bear.

Fahim Anwar 49:25 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 49:26 (laughs) And at nighttime, man, the drinks start clinking and, you know, the, The Comedy Starts Flowing and Jeff starts playing the piano.

Fahim Anwar 49:32 It's an interesting room too. When you first started doing it, was it difficult? 'Cause it's not a n- it's not a, um, it's not an easy room.

Joe Rogan 49:39 Th- The OR is not an easy room.

Fahim Anwar 49:40 Yeah, The OR.

Joe Rogan 49:41 The OR.

Fahim Anwar 49:41 I, I consider The OR The Comedy Store.

Joe Rogan 49:43 Yes.

Fahim Anwar 49:44 People will come through and be like, "Oh yeah, I've been to The Store." I go, I go, "What, what room?" They're like, "We just go to the main room and ..." Okay, cool, main room is cool, but it's not the heart and soul of The Comedy Store.

Joe Rogan 49:55 Mm.

Fahim Anwar 49:55 The OR is intimate. Nothing gets lost.

Joe Rogan 49:59 Right. Mm-hmm.

Fahim Anwar 49:59 The main room, you kinda have to be s- it's so big and there's that second tier, you know, how the step goes up?

Joe Rogan 50:05 Mm-hmm.

Fahim Anwar 50:05 To like be able to h- to have that laugh wave hit that back row-

Joe Rogan 50:09 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 50:10 ... you, you're really working. You're performing. And i- the stage is so big, you have to be more theatrical to kind of do a serviceable job in that room. But in The OR, it's like literally you're just watching a man gather his tho- or woman, you know, just like, you could be real, you can be ... You don't have to be like-

Joe Rogan 50:27 Right, big.

Fahim Anwar 50:27 You don't have to project as much. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 50:29 Yeah. Well, there's dif- different kinds of comedy, right?

Fahim Anwar 50:33 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 50:34 What's the largest crowd you've ever done?

Fahim Anwar 50:37 I've been watching your stories and stuff, and that's fucking insane.

Joe Rogan 50:39 (laughs)

Fahim Anwar 50:40 Like even when you're in the green room and you just hear these murmurs-

Joe Rogan 50:42 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 50:42 ... it sounds like s- l- y- you know, like an angry mob is going to kill you or something. You just hear (mimics crowd) .

Joe Rogan 50:47 It's crazy.

Fahim Anwar 50:47 But they're all just like filtering into this giant theater. Maybe 3,000 or 4,000.

Joe Rogan 50:52 3,000? That's big.

Fahim Anwar 50:52 And that was, that was a trip for me.

Joe Rogan 50:54 That's big. But you notice when you do 3,000 or 4,000 that there's like ... You have to give them more pause.

Fahim Anwar 50:59 Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 51:00 More time to- for the set, the, the, the joke, the punchline to settle, the laughs to settle before you move on to another, another word.

Fahim Anwar 51:07 But what's great about doing it so long is standup is this conversation with the audience, so you know to wait.

Joe Rogan 51:15 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 51:16 Like you have inherent timing.

Joe Rogan 51:18 Yes.

Fahim Anwar 51:18 Another comic would just kinda know the timing of the club and just like plow into the next joke-

Joe Rogan 51:23 (inhales deeply)

Fahim Anwar 51:23 ... while they're still getting laughs from a theater.

Joe Rogan 51:25 Yeah, you can't do that at a th- But I took a ... I was talking about this yesterday with Tom Papa, that one of the reasons, uh, uh, one of, one of the best lessons that I ever had was actually sitting in the audience at one of Richard, uh, uh, not Richard, Lewis Black's.

Fahim Anwar 51:38 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 51:38 Not Richard Lewis. I don't know why I confuse the guys.

Fahim Anwar 51:40 I mean, I, I would confuse it, yeah, for sure. Lewis-

Joe Rogan 51:42 Lew- The word Lewis.

Fahim Anwar 51:42 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 51:43 A Lewis Black show in New Jersey. He was there the night before me, and Joey Diaz and I sat in the audience. And he would hit a punchline and people would laugh, and then he hi- he would hit the tag and I couldn't hear the tag, 'cause all the other-

Fahim Anwar 51:55 Mm...

Joe Rogan 51:55 ... people were laughing around us. And I was like, "Oh." Like you gotta be like a little more selective.

Fahim Anwar 52:02 Sit in it.

Joe Rogan 52:02 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 52:02 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 52:02 You got ... You can't just hammer them. Like in The Store, at The OR you can hammer them.

Fahim Anwar 52:06 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 52:06 Punchline, punchline-

Fahim Anwar 52:07 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 52:07 ... punchline, punchline. You could beat the fucking shit out of them that way, and it's a different kinda comedy. You, if you have that style of comedy, you might struggle a little bit with a theater, and you'll definitely struggle in an arena. Arenas and amphitheaters are another animal.

Fahim Anwar 52:24 I feel like just having no ceiling-

Joe Rogan 52:26 It's crazy.

Fahim Anwar 52:26 How does that work? Is that good or-

Joe Rogan 52:27 I did it Saturday night in San Francisco.

Fahim Anwar 52:28 That's more for the music, huh?

Joe Rogan 52:31 I had a great time. We had a great time.

Fahim Anwar 52:32 Oh.

Joe Rogan 52:32 Ali Mc- Ali Macofsky killed.

Fahim Anwar 52:34 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 52:34 She had a great time. Ian killed. It was fun. It was fun, but it's definitely different.

Fahim Anwar 52:38 I think it ... Yeah, I think it's different 'cause I think they're such fans-

Joe Rogan 52:41 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 52:41 ... and obviously-

Joe Rogan 52:42 That helps.

Fahim Anwar 52:42 ... like they're gonna be tuned in.

Joe Rogan 52:44 Yeah, that helps.

Fahim Anwar 52:44 It's different when you're ... Like I'll do some festivals sometimes or, I mean, back in the day you would do a college or something and it's just outside. And if they don't know who the fuck you are-

Joe Rogan 52:53 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 52:53 ... and it's daytime-

Joe Rogan 52:54 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 52:55 ... and it's outside-

Joe Rogan 52:56 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 52:57 ... you flew to pick up a check.

Joe Rogan 52:58 (laughs)

Fahim Anwar 52:58 All you, all you gotta do is not lose your mind on stage and you can collect your check. If you're like, "Shut the fuck up," like then you're not gonna get money.

Joe Rogan 53:05 Well, it's a matter of whether or not you're having fun.

Fahim Anwar 53:08 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 53:09 If you're having fun and you enjoy performing and you ... your material's good-

Fahim Anwar 53:13 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 53:13 ... so you know it's good-

Fahim Anwar 53:14 You can have fun-

Joe Rogan 53:15 ... and-

Fahim Anwar 53:15 Sure.

Joe Rogan 53:16 ... and-

Fahim Anwar 53:16 And whoever's tuning in can have a good time-

Joe Rogan 53:17 ... you hit those beats ... Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 53:18 ... and the absurdity of the situation is funny.

Joe Rogan 53:20 Yes.

Fahim Anwar 53:20 Um-

Joe Rogan 53:21 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 53:21 But obviously it's not gonna be like a regular club set or something.

Joe Rogan 53:24 Yeah. Dude, I'll take you if you wanna come. I'll take you.

Fahim Anwar 53:27 Oh, I'll, I'll do-

Joe Rogan 53:27 I'll take you to one of the crazy places.

Fahim Anwar 53:28 I don't ... I mean, that just seems like such a mind trip.

Joe Rogan 53:30 (laughs) It's a fun-

Fahim Anwar 53:30 Like that, that would be like a standup float tank. (laughs) Just-

Joe Rogan 53:32 Well, Ali, you know, Ali's only 22.

Fahim Anwar 53:34 Yeah, she's so young.

Joe Rogan 53:35 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 53:35 Yeah, she's great.

Joe Rogan 53:35 And I- I've been taking her with me.

Fahim Anwar 53:37 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 53:37 And uh, her and Ian came this weekend.

Fahim Anwar 53:40 I love Ian. Ian's one of my favorites.

Joe Rogan 53:40 And the first arena she ever did ... Well, here's Ali, right? She's done clubs with me.

Fahim Anwar 53:46 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 53:46 She does the improv with me all the time. She does The Store with me all the time-

Fahim Anwar 53:48 And she's the-

Joe Rogan 53:49 ... and the Icehouse.

Fahim Anwar 53:49 ... she works the door at The Store.

Joe Rogan 53:50 Yeah, she works the door. (laughs)

Fahim Anwar 53:51 That's the beauty of the system at The Store. It's like one of the last places like that-

Joe Rogan 53:54 Yes.

Fahim Anwar 53:54 ... where there's a system in place and-

Joe Rogan 53:57 Yep.

Fahim Anwar 53:57 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 53:58 She works the door at The Store and she performed in front of 10,000 people on Friday night. (laughs)

Fahim Anwar 54:02 (laughs) And then went back to checking IDs?

Joe Rogan 54:03 Yes.

Fahim Anwar 54:04 That's the mind fuck of being a young comic-

Joe Rogan 54:06 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 54:06 ... is you'll do these crazy things and then you're back at your job.

Joe Rogan 54:08 But she's wild and hungry and she's so ... She loves-

Fahim Anwar 54:10 Yeah, I don't worry about Ali. She's fine.

Joe Rogan 54:13 She's great.

Fahim Anwar 54:13 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 54:13 She's really talented too.

Fahim Anwar 54:15 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 54:15 But, um-... uh, you know, so the first big show she had done before that was The Mirage in Vegas.

Fahim Anwar 54:22 I love that club.

Joe Rogan 54:23 I loved that club.

Fahim Anwar 54:23 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 54:24 I love that club. I started doing that club and then I went to bigger arenas and I came back to that club because it was so much fun. Because most of the time when I do Vegas, I do it the night before UFC-

Fahim Anwar 54:34 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 54:34 ... like on Friday night. And, uh, I was doing these big giant places like the KA Theater, which is like 100-foot tall cei- more than 100-feet tall ceiling. It's Cirque du Soleil place.

Fahim Anwar 54:43 Wow.

Joe Rogan 54:44 But it was too weird. It wasn't, it wasn't the right setup for comedy.

Fahim Anwar 54:47 Yeah. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 54:48 And The Mirage is so perfect.

Fahim Anwar 54:49 It's perfect.

Joe Rogan 54:49 I just-

Fahim Anwar 54:50 Is that the Terry Fedor Theater?

Joe Rogan 54:51 Yes. Yes. Yes.

Fahim Anwar 54:52 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 54:53 So I went back to... So that was the first time she'd ever done anything big.

Fahim Anwar 54:57 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 54:57 And she walked out there like she fucking owned the place. Just like she owned it.

Fahim Anwar 55:01 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 55:02 Just like she had a be- the, the best set I ever saw her have there. And then I said, "Okay, you wanna do arenas?"

Fahim Anwar 55:09 Ah.

Joe Rogan 55:09 And she's like, "Ah!" So...

Fahim Anwar 55:12 That's bonkers.

Joe Rogan 55:12 So we did, uh, this crazy place in Portland. Portland was insane, man. Goddamn, it was off the charts. Almost too big. Almost too, too powerful.

Fahim Anwar 55:22 What was, what was the-

Joe Rogan 55:23 Not almost too big, but almost too powerful.

Fahim Anwar 55:25 Did they do concerts in there normally or what is that space?

Joe Rogan 55:27 Yeah. Just basketball.

Fahim Anwar 55:28 Oh, shit. That's where the Blazers play?

Joe Rogan 55:29 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 55:30 For real?

Joe Rogan 55:30 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 55:31 Whoa.

Joe Rogan 55:32 (laughs) It's so-

Fahim Anwar 55:32 Wouldn't it be great if like-

Joe Rogan 55:33 So ridiculous.

Fahim Anwar 55:33 ... they just have a T-shirt cannon before your set? Just like fonk, tonk.

Joe Rogan 55:36 Yeah. I had a... My buddy Cam Hanes who lives in Eugene, which is real close to there, was in that same place a couple weeks before that for a game, and he's like, "Dude, I can't fucking believe you're coming here to do comedy. Like what is this?"

Fahim Anwar 55:48 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 55:49 It was nuts.

Fahim Anwar 55:50 You would almost think as like a consumer of comedy, what is that experience like, and is it still... Like the beats have got to be so different than like a club, like the OR or-

Joe Rogan 55:58 I don't know, man. It was fun, man. I was watching Ian on stage and he was murdering.

Fahim Anwar 56:01 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 56:01 And I was laughing my ass off. It was great. It's, it's all in the acoustics of the building and the Moda Center in Portland is a really new theater or a, a new arena. It's, it's really well-made.

Fahim Anwar 56:12 Mm.

Joe Rogan 56:13 So the acoustics are excellent. This is-

Fahim Anwar 56:14 So nothing is lost? 'Cause that's my worry.

Joe Rogan 56:16 Right.

Fahim Anwar 56:16 Like in a space that big that no one can hear what you're saying and it's muddled and...

Joe Rogan 56:19 I- I've done some big places where it's not the best. I've done some big places where you hear a little echo.

Fahim Anwar 56:24 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 56:24 And you're like, "Ooh, this could be a problem." So you have to be a little clearer with what you say.

Fahim Anwar 56:29 Right.

Joe Rogan 56:29 Like you almost gotta take some of the spice outta your joke, you know, the spice out of your delivery because it's, um, it's a little echoey. The best though, the best is the Icehouse or The Store or The Improv.

Fahim Anwar 56:43 Yeah. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 56:43 Like 200 people, 300 people. Bam, bam-

Fahim Anwar 56:46 Nothing is lost.

Joe Rogan 56:47 ... bam. Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 56:48 Well, that's why comedy clubs are a certain size.

Joe Rogan 56:51 Mm-hmm.

Fahim Anwar 56:51 If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

Joe Rogan 56:52 It's also 'cause that's all they could seat.

Fahim Anwar 56:54 (laughs) Yeah, there's been-

Joe Rogan 56:55 You know? I mean, it's hard to sell like-

Fahim Anwar 56:58 You should, you should have like a-

Joe Rogan 56:58 ... the West Palm Improv.

Fahim Anwar 56:59 ... like Joe Rogan Comedy Clubs and they're all like 20,000 seats.

Joe Rogan 57:03 (laughs)

Fahim Anwar 57:03 They're like, "Yeah, I mean, it sells out when Joe comes around, but we're having a tough time getting people to come out."

Joe Rogan 57:07 It's... I mean, how many... There's not that many people that are doing those places. There's like Kevin Hart, Dave-

Fahim Anwar 57:13 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 57:13 ... and like-

Fahim Anwar 57:13 Oh, that's so crazy too, like you guys teaming up to do a tour.

Joe Rogan 57:16 Oh, my god.

Fahim Anwar 57:16 If you're a comedy fan, how great is that?

Joe Rogan 57:18 Dude, we did 25,000 people in Tacoma.

Fahim Anwar 57:22 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 57:23 We broke the all-time attendance record.

Fahim Anwar 57:24 Oh, you got my brother in. I think he-

Joe Rogan 57:25 Yes.

Fahim Anwar 57:25 He hit up Ian-

Joe Rogan 57:26 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 57:26 ... and Ian was like... 'Cause I think I was, I was in London so I was sleeping, like the time was off.

Joe Rogan 57:30 Mm.

Fahim Anwar 57:30 So then he just DMed Ian and he was like, "Hey, I'm p- his brother. Can I come to the show?" And then you looked him up.

Joe Rogan 57:35 The Dave things are crazy though because he brings a DJ-

Fahim Anwar 57:38 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 57:38 ... and Donnell Rollins gets out there and gets everybody hyped up and it's... The fucking DJ's in between the sets (imitates record scratching) It's like he's getting everybody hyped.

Fahim Anwar 57:46 That's next level. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 57:47 Oh, it's so next level.

Fahim Anwar 57:48 It's like a concert.

Joe Rogan 57:49 Yeah. Plus it just, you feel crazy, like is this really ha- Like even Dave, uh, he was like, "This is f- fucking crazy, man." Like we were all like, "This is crazy."

Fahim Anwar 57:57 To get him to say this is crazy.

Joe Rogan 57:58 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 57:58 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 57:58 We were all like, "This was crazy." We all realized this is something... Because people were so pumped that we're doing it together.

Fahim Anwar 58:04 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 58:05 It was mad.

Fahim Anwar 58:05 It's like a, like the Watch the Throne Tour with Kanye and Jay-Z.

Joe Rogan 58:10 Yeah. Yeah, we're gonna do more. We're trying to figure out where and how, but we had a great fucking time.

Fahim Anwar 58:15 Yeah. Why not?

Joe Rogan 58:16 It's just so rock star shit. They, they show up at places and have IVs ready. They do intravenous vitamin infusions with glutathione and-

Fahim Anwar 58:25 (laughs) How did-

Joe Rogan 58:25 ... get B12 shots.

Fahim Anwar 58:26 How did you feel after?

Joe Rogan 58:27 Like I could run through a fucking wall.

Fahim Anwar 58:28 For real?

Joe Rogan 58:29 Yeah. Like I pulled a tree out of its roots. (laughs)

Fahim Anwar 58:32 So how did you feel before? (laughs) How did you feel before and then after? Were you just like out of it?

Joe Rogan 58:34 I was a little tired. You know, we're traveling and-

Fahim Anwar 58:36 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 58:37 ... we were up late the night before and then you get juiced up with, uh, vitamins and you just-

Fahim Anwar 58:42 You're like, "Where's that tree?"

Joe Rogan 58:43 Yeah. You feel fucking excellent. (laughs)

Fahim Anwar 58:47 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 58:47 This... I guess, you know, they don't... Rock stars know what they're doing.

Fahim Anwar 58:52 Yeah. And I'm sure you're only doing a fraction of what they do, the rock stars. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 58:57 They're doing coke.

Fahim Anwar 58:57 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 58:57 We're not doing coke. (laughs)

Fahim Anwar 58:58 And they're... (laughs) And they have something different than an IV. They probably have some other bag we don't even know about.

Joe Rogan 59:02 Probably.

Fahim Anwar 59:03 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 59:03 Yeah. It's probably some illegal shit.

Fahim Anwar 59:04 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 59:05 Yeah. Like they're probably doing NAD. They're probably doing a lot of different things. Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 59:10 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 59:10 But-

Fahim Anwar 59:10 It just looks insane.

Joe Rogan 59:11 Uh, at the end of the day though, back to the grind. Like tonight I'm doing the Belly Room, you know.

Fahim Anwar 59:17 That's so funny. You're just back in the Belly Room.

Joe Rogan 59:18 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 59:18 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 59:18 Back in the Belly Room. Doing the Belly Room.

Fahim Anwar 59:20 The Belly Room.

Joe Rogan 59:20 Then I'm doing the Improv. I got a 10:30 at the Improv.

Fahim Anwar 59:22 Oh, doing a double dip?

Joe Rogan 59:23 Yes, always.

Fahim Anwar 59:24 Y- you ever do... You don't do Factory really, huh?

Joe Rogan 59:26 I don't do the Factory.

Fahim Anwar 59:26 You don't do the Factory?

Joe Rogan 59:27 Is that 'cause they tape?

Fahim Anwar 59:28 Yes.

Joe Rogan 59:28 Okay. Yeah, they taped me. They tape everybody. They put your shit online.

Fahim Anwar 59:32 But like, uh-

Joe Rogan 59:33 They say we're not gonna do it anymore, but they still have the camera up.

Fahim Anwar 59:35 Mm-hmm. Do you just not trust them? Because like-

Joe Rogan 59:37 Exactly.

Fahim Anwar 59:37 ... they'll send it to me with the clips and I'll be like, "I don't... It's not ready," or, "I don't wanna put it out there." And then they respect it. Um...

Joe Rogan 59:44 That's what Bill Burr said. Yeah. And then I found the shit online. I'm like, "Yeah, look at that." And he's like, "What the fuck?"

Fahim Anwar 59:49 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 59:49 I was like, "Yeah, man."

Fahim Anwar 59:50 Well, like, yeah.

Joe Rogan 59:50 There's somebody working there-

Fahim Anwar 59:51 Sure.

Joe Rogan 59:51 ... that's not listening to this. You know? And maybe they don't do that anymore and I hope they don't, but...

Fahim Anwar 59:57 But why chance it?

Joe Rogan 59:58 It just doesn't feel good. It's just that-

Fahim Anwar 1:00:01 Yeah. Especially if it's in progress.

Joe Rogan 1:00:02 The way it was handled was very poor. The way it was handled was like you should be happy that we're putting it online. It was not good. I'll, I'll tell you all about it later.

Fahim Anwar 1:00:09 Oh. Okay.

Joe Rogan 1:00:09 But it's just... There's plenty of room at the Improv and The Store.

Fahim Anwar 1:00:13 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:00:13 I don't need to go there.

Fahim Anwar 1:00:14 Yeah. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:00:14 I don't wish it... Well, I mean-

Fahim Anwar 1:00:15 Yeah, no, yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:00:16 I hope it does well. It's a great club. It's fun to work at.

Fahim Anwar 1:00:17 Sure.

Joe Rogan 1:00:18 You know.

Fahim Anwar 1:00:19 I know what you mean though. It's like I, I'm in Tarzana now and like someone will be like, "Hey, do you wanna do this show?"... in Irvine, and that's just like saying my show's on Mars. Can you come-

Joe Rogan 1:00:28 Irvine at eight o'clock? You might as well leave your house yesterday.

Fahim Anwar 1:00:32 (laughs)

Jamie Vernon 1:00:32 Yeah. Like, "Burr, can you chopper me to-" (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:00:34 Yeah.

Fahim Anwar 1:00:35 ... to- to Irvine?"

Joe Rogan 1:00:35 Have you been in a chopper with Burr?

Fahim Anwar 1:00:36 No.

Joe Rogan 1:00:37 You gotta go.

Fahim Anwar 1:00:37 But when I was working at Boeing, I had a coworker who was learning, uh... No. Well, he- he had his hours up and everything, so he fly- he flew choppers, and during our lunch break, he's like, "Do you wanna go in the chopper?"

Joe Rogan 1:00:47 Jesus.

Fahim Anwar 1:00:47 I was like, "Sure." So then, he's like, "Let's take the doors off."

Joe Rogan 1:00:50 What?

Fahim Anwar 1:00:51 Yeah. Took-

Joe Rogan 1:00:51 Oh, this guy's trying to kill you.

Fahim Anwar 1:00:52 Took- No, but like, it was fine.

Joe Rogan 1:00:54 He didn't like you.

Fahim Anwar 1:00:54 It was crazy. I figured, when else am I gonna go in a chopper?

Joe Rogan 1:00:56 That's true.

Fahim Anwar 1:00:57 So from my lunch break, I went in a chopper with this guy. I recorded it.

Joe Rogan 1:01:00 Wow.

Fahim Anwar 1:01:01 And then his- and then my mom saw it and she just, like, flipped out. She's like, "Fucking-"

Joe Rogan 1:01:03 "What are you doing, Fahim?"

Fahim Anwar 1:01:05 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Jamie Vernon 1:01:05 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:01:05 "I love you. Don't die."

Fahim Anwar 1:01:08 Yeah, yeah. She thought I was gonna die. Yeah. But it was fun.

Joe Rogan 1:01:10 Yeah, if I had a- a son and- and I was a woman