Joe Rogan Experience #1335 - Jim Gaffigan

Joe Rogan 0:00 Dun-dun-dun. Ladies and gentlemen, (claps) one of the greats, Jim Gaffigan.

Jim Gaffigan 0:06 Oh.

Joe Rogan 0:06 How are you, sir?

Jim Gaffigan 0:07 Thank you, thank you. It's great to be here.

Joe Rogan 0:09 Great to see you, man. I'm excited that you're doing a special on Amazon.

Jim Gaffigan 0:12 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 0:12 I think it's important that there's a, a bunch of other platforms for all of us-

Jim Gaffigan 0:16 Right.

Joe Rogan 0:17 ... to do specials on. And when a guy like you goes over to Amazon, legitimizes it, makes it a big deal, it's exciting.

Jim Gaffigan 0:23 Yeah, and it, it's, uh, it's fascinating how the, the outlets for specials has changed so dramatically.

Joe Rogan 0:30 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 0:30 'Cause when we were, when we were kids, it was just HBO.

Joe Rogan 0:35 Yep.

Jim Gaffigan 0:35 And then Comedy Central, when, uh, I released Beyond the Pale, it was, uh, that perfect moment where, uh, in every dorm room in America, Comedy Central was on.

Joe Rogan 0:48 Yep.

Jim Gaffigan 0:48 You know, it w- it had shifted from MTV to Comedy Central bec- probably 'cause of Chappelle and, and Jon Stewart. And so, but it shifts. You know, it's like, then Netflix was big, and, um, and we see these other platforms coming out. So it'll be, it'll be interesting. If I can convince people, 'cause everyone goes to Amazon.

Joe Rogan 1:10 Mm-hmm.

Jim Gaffigan 1:11 Or someone in their family does. So if I can convince them the next time they're buying paper towels-

Joe Rogan 1:16 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 1:16 ... and socks-

Joe Rogan 1:17 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 1:17 ... to just go over to Prime, 'cause they, everyone has a Prime membership.

Joe Rogan 1:22 Yeah, that's a weird part about it, right? It's like-

Jim Gaffigan 1:24 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:24 ... it's shopping, but it's also, like, the same as iTunes.

Jim Gaffigan 1:28 It, y- yeah, people have asked me, they're like, "What if, uh," you know, well, one person asked me, they were like, "What if someone doesn't have a Prime membership?" And I'm like, "Then they're-"

Joe Rogan 1:36 Who are you?

Jim Gaffigan 1:36 "... probably not on the Internet."

Joe Rogan 1:38 Yeah, who are you?

Jim Gaffigan 1:39 Right? They probably can't afford even, uh, you know, high-speed Internet.

Joe Rogan 1:44 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 1:44 (laughs) So it's like, but I don't know. It is gonna be interesting. I've watched stuff on Prime, but it's like, it's like every time you, you know... I think comedians, we like the, we like to explore and do things different. You know, even, uh, you know, r- new rooms and stuff like that. We, we kind of are risk-averse, but there is always the possibility of... Like, I don't know.

Joe Rogan 2:09 Right.

Jim Gaffigan 2:09 I mean, it comes out Friday. Um, there is d- some support, but I don't know, and I know that Amazon is this enormous company, but I don't know. I don't know, they could... I mean, in the grand scheme of things, you know, my special is really not that big. It's not as important as the toothpicks they sell on Amazon.

Joe Rogan 2:31 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 2:31 So I don't know if they're gonna-

Joe Rogan 2:33 Right.

Jim Gaffigan 2:33 ... get behind it or not.

Joe Rogan 2:34 It's so weird that it's an entertainment company-

Jim Gaffigan 2:36 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 2:36 ... and also a massive shopping outlet. I mean, it's, it's-

Jim Gaffigan 2:39 Huge.

Joe Rogan 2:39 ... two giant things.

Jim Gaffigan 2:41 It's huge.

Joe Rogan 2:41 But they, they do support, like, Mrs. Maisel.

Jim Gaffigan 2:45 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 2:45 I see that everywhere.

Jim Gaffigan 2:46 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 2:47 So if they have a hit, they will get behind it and make billboards, and, and I've seen a lot for, uh, Fleabag as well. I've seen a bunch of ads for that. So I think they're-

Jim Gaffigan 2:56 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 2:56 ... they're really picking up their support. But I haven't seen any support so far for... How many specials are there that they've done besides your- yours comes out Friday, but-

Jim Gaffigan 3:04 Mine comes out Friday, and then, uh, a week later there's four that come out. (clears throat) And then-

Joe Rogan 3:12 I know Alonzo Bodden has one coming out-

Jim Gaffigan 3:13 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 3:13 ... for sure.

Jim Gaffigan 3:14 And, uh, there's three other people with him. And then, um, I don't know. They, you know, there's also something of, uh, you know, the, the fl- the flow of information isn't as, as dynamic as you'd imagine. 'Cause I'm like a nerd for, like, if people follow me on Instagram, they're probably like, "Yeah, we know you promote." So it's like, I'm not shy about saying, "I'm coming to Atlantic City." And, uh, so I'm like, "Hey, when is this going, you know, what do you, how can I help?" And they're like, uh, there's a little bit of an attitude of like, "We've got it." You know what I mean?

Joe Rogan 3:50 Mm-hmm.

Jim Gaffigan 3:50 "We know all the information there is." Or, they don't care. I'm not sure.

Joe Rogan 3:56 Hmm. Yeah, I think they're probably overwhelmed. Right? It's probably a new thing.

Jim Gaffigan 4:00 Or they just, you know, some of, uh, how it was explained to me was, I released, uh, Noblesse, my special before this, uh, independently.

Joe Rogan 4:13 Right.

Jim Gaffigan 4:13 You know, through a lot of different platforms.

Joe Rogan 4:14 Well, why'd you decide to do that?

Jim Gaffigan 4:16 Well, some of it was, I, I got an offer that was attractive. Uh, I knew that... I mean, I, I love Netflix, I have five specials there. Uh, but I kind of looked at Netflix, I always describe it as, it's a, it's a swimming pool, swimming pools are great, the, you know, a special, having a special is kind of like a floaty. But, like, Netflix, there were just hundreds of floaties in this, in this pool. So how do you know y- people are gonna watch yours? You get-

Joe Rogan 4:48 Mm-hmm.

Jim Gaffigan 4:48 ... like a week at Netflix, uh, for, for accessibility. And I also thought that, uh, it would have a greater impact internationally. I don't think it did for me, personally. Um, and, and it was something to try differently, you know?

Joe Rogan 5:03 You know what's weird too, is you never really know what the numbers are.

Jim Gaffigan 5:06 No, you don't know the numbers.

Joe Rogan 5:07 They don't tell you.

Jim Gaffigan 5:08 You don't know the numbers, and it also shifts. Like, so like the, the great success that, uh, Segura and Ali Wong had, and you know, like, we're comedians. We watch all of, uh, the specials on Netflix. I mean, whether we watch the whole thing is another thing, right?

Joe Rogan 5:27 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 5:27 That's like, uh, with Ted Alexandro and I, we're always like, I'm like, "Did you watch it?" And he goes, "I, 10 minutes. Did you watch the..."

Joe Rogan 5:34 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 5:34 It's like the best compliment is, "I watched-

Joe Rogan 5:35 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 5:35 "... the whole thing."

Joe Rogan 5:36 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 5:36 "I watched Chris Rock's whole special."

Joe Rogan 5:38 Right.

Jim Gaffigan 5:39 You know, and, um, so I wanted to do something different. You know, I was offered, uh... And it's, it's, you know, it's a, uh, you know, it's expanding your audience. And I also understood that a lot of people consume things on demand. Like, I have young kids, so I'm just, I'm still buying on iTunes like it's 1981.

Joe Rogan 6:02 Mm-hmm.

Jim Gaffigan 6:03 You know, and people consume things on demand, I was convinced on that. And so it went...... uh, we did this kind of like everywhere but Netflix, and then there was a second window that was on Amazon Prime, and it got a real ... uh, a lot of viewers. And so that prompted Amazon to approach for this special.

Joe Rogan 6:28 So, independently, when you released your last one, did, like, a production company come to you and say, "Hey, Jim, this is what we wanna-"

Jim Gaffigan 6:34 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 6:34 "... you know?"

Jim Gaffigan 6:34 Yeah. It was Comedy Dynamics.

Joe Rogan 6:36 Oh, okay.

Jim Gaffigan 6:36 And they were like, "We're gon- we're gonna distribute it. Uh, we're gonna sell it piecemeal different places."

Joe Rogan 6:42 Mm-hmm.

Jim Gaffigan 6:43 And so I was like, "Yeah, you know what? I want it on, uh, airplanes."

Joe Rogan 6:46 Right, right.

Jim Gaffigan 6:47 And I ... You know, I have Netflix, but not everyone has Netflix.

Joe Rogan 6:50 Mm-hmm.

Jim Gaffigan 6:51 And also, you know, the swimming pool metaphor, it can get kinda lost in there.

Joe Rogan 6:55 So yours was available on Apple TV, it was available on everything?

Jim Gaffigan 6:59 It was on ... Available on everywhere.

Joe Rogan 7:01 Yeah. And s-

Jim Gaffigan 7:02 It was even in theaters for a weekend.

Joe Rogan 7:03 Do you get a sense of the numbers from them?

Jim Gaffigan 7:06 Oh, yeah, definitely.

Joe Rogan 7:07 Okay. So th- Netflix is the only one doesn't give you the numbers?

Jim Gaffigan 7:09 Th- Yeah. Supposedly, Amazon will give the numbers.

Joe Rogan 7:12 Supposedly. ............................

Jim Gaffigan 7:13 I think they would.

Joe Rogan 7:15 You gotta get in a room with them.

Jim Gaffigan 7:16 I think that they, um ... You know, it's, it's, it's gonna be so interesting-

Joe Rogan 7:21 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 7:21 ... 'cause I have no idea, but I also ... You know, just as how we consume specials has changed, I think that, uh, you know, getting ... I think specials serve almost ... They're very personal for us, right? By the way, your last one was great.

Joe Rogan 7:37 Thanks.

Jim Gaffigan 7:38 But it's very personal for us, but it also indirectly serves as, like, an infomercial for our sensime- sensibility.

Joe Rogan 7:46 Yeah, for sure.

Jim Gaffigan 7:47 So it's like you want other people to see it, so that they can go, "Yeah, I like this kinda stuff." And so the appeal of it being in different places was appealing to me.

Joe Rogan 7:57 Yeah. I like the idea of it, too. I mean, I really do enjoy that Netflix has gotten so big into standup specials, 'cause they've given so many people opportunities and-

Jim Gaffigan 8:05 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 8:05 ... exposed the world to so many great comics. I don't like the fact they don't give you the numbers.

Jim Gaffigan 8:09 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 8:09 That's a little annoying.

Jim Gaffigan 8:11 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 8:11 Yeah, but I do like the fact there's other options now. I think it's great. And I think ... Look, HBO now has a streaming option, you know-

Jim Gaffigan 8:16 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 8:16 ... and they're trying to get really behind HBO Go, and hopefully more people will do that so HBO specials will be what they used to be.

Jim Gaffigan 8:23 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 8:23 Used to be if someone got an HBO special, like, holy shit.

Jim Gaffigan 8:26 It would transform their lives.

Joe Rogan 8:27 Oh, my God, like K-Kennison and all these different people-

Jim Gaffigan 8:30 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 8:30 ... we found out about them because of HBO.

Jim Gaffigan 8:33 Yeah, yeah. I think it's, it's gonna be interesting. I think that, uh, you know, w- seeing what Disney+ does and seeing, uh, you know, HBO Max and, uh, Apple, but it's ... I had, I had approached, um, Amazon back, I think, with my special Obsessed. I wanted to do it on Amazon. They had-

Joe Rogan 8:55 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 8:55 ... Prime at that point, and I was like, "I'll give it. You give me this amount of money, and you guys own the special." And they're like ... At that point they weren't ... You know, they're, they were a packaged goods-

Joe Rogan 9:05 Mm-hmm.

Jim Gaffigan 9:06 ... company. They're like, "No, we'll give you six cents for every view."

Joe Rogan 9:08 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 9:08 And I'm like, "No, no, no, you don't understand. I'm gonna drive people to amazon.com." And they're like, "Nah, we're not interested." But so it, it'll take some time, so it-

Joe Rogan 9:19 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 9:19 You know, we might think that Apple and Disney will step up immediately for comedy specials, but we don't know. We don't know.

Joe Rogan 9:27 I, I think in the future, there's not gonna be anything on live television except sports. I really do.

Jim Gaffigan 9:32 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 9:33 I think-

Jim Gaffigan 9:33 Definitely.

Joe Rogan 9:34 TV, like the idea of, like, tuning in at eight o'clock on Tuesday night and that's the only time to see something-

Jim Gaffigan 9:39 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 9:39 ... is ridiculous.

Jim Gaffigan 9:39 No, appointment television-

Joe Rogan 9:41 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 9:41 ... is absurd.

Joe Rogan 9:42 Nonsense. That's a great way of putting it.

Jim Gaffigan 9:43 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 9:43 Appointment television. (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 9:44 Yeah, it's just, it's insane.

Joe Rogan 9:46 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 9:46 You know?

Joe Rogan 9:46 A release date ... And that's th- one of the other great things about Netflix, like when Stranger Things comes out, you get the whole damn season.

Jim Gaffigan 9:53 Yeah. Yeah, definitely. And so, like, the binging thing-

Joe Rogan 9:57 Mm-hmm.

Jim Gaffigan 9:57 ... is really ... It's absurd. Like, there's, there's gotta be some consequences of that 'cause-

Joe Rogan 10:03 Oh, yeah. It's unhealthy. (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 10:04 We're just not getting enough sleep.

Joe Rogan 10:06 Now, this ... A light friend of mine, she told me that she was up watching, uh, Stranger Things till six o'clock in the morning. She had to get up at 10:00 to take her kid to school. (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 10:16 Yeah, it's just ... There's ... And we binge it like, like there's some reason behind it.

Joe Rogan 10:23 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 10:23 There's ... It's just convenience.

Joe Rogan 10:25 You just get obsessed. "I wanna find out what's next. Oh my God-

Jim Gaffigan 10:27 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 10:27 ... they left me hanging.

Jim Gaffigan 10:28 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 10:28 What's next?" And you're like, "One more, just one more."

Jim Gaffigan 10:30 And those suckers that w- would wait, you know, uh, f- Like, uh, we ... My family ... I don't wanna sound too macho, but we watch Jane the Virgin 'cause my, uh, teenage daughter was really into it. So as a family, we watch Jane the Virgin.

Joe Rogan 10:44 I don't even know what that is.

Jim Gaffigan 10:45 It's a TV show. It's amazing.

Joe Rogan 10:46 Yeah?

Jim Gaffigan 10:46 It's am- I mean, it's one of those things where my family would be watching it and I would come in, and I would kinda criticize it.

Joe Rogan 10:53 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 10:53 And then after, like, two episodes, I was like, "Move over."

Joe Rogan 10:56 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 10:56 (laughs) It's, it's totally ... It's a telenovela. It's about Hispanic culture. It's, it's great. Great per-

Joe Rogan 11:03 Jane the Virgin? What's it on?

Jim Gaffigan 11:04 Great performances. It was on the CW. I don't-

Joe Rogan 11:06 Oh, that's hilarious.

Jim Gaffigan 11:07 Like, I feel like in my adult lifetime, the CW appeared and I still have never watched a show on the CW. Like, have you ever watched a show on the CW?

Joe Rogan 11:17 I don't believe so.

Jim Gaffigan 11:19 Right. It's a real network.

Joe Rogan 11:21 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 11:21 But it's like-

Joe Rogan 11:22 Remember The WB?

Jim Gaffigan 11:23 Yeah. I think The WB was ... I think the CW is The WB.

Joe Rogan 11:27 Something like that, right?

Jim Gaffigan 11:28 I don't know.

Joe Rogan 11:28 There was a few of those little fringe networks way back in the day, like I remember The Wayans Brothers had a TV show-

Jim Gaffigan 11:33 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 11:33 ... on one of them.

Jim Gaffigan 11:34 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 11:34 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 11:34 There's ... It's one of those weird networks that was ... I think it was owned by CBS, but they're like ... It's just kind of like, uh, uh, you know, like it would be teen shows.

Joe Rogan 11:46 Mm-hmm.

Jim Gaffigan 11:46 Like teen romance shows.

Joe Rogan 11:48 And you like the show?

Jim Gaffigan 11:50 Uh, th- Jane the Virgin, I liked it.

Joe Rogan 11:52 Okay.

Jim Gaffigan 11:52 I liked it.

Joe Rogan 11:53 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 11:53 (laughs) I ... You know, I'm not ashamed to say it.

Joe Rogan 11:56 Don't be ashamed.

Jim Gaffigan 11:56 I ... You know, like, if I asked myself six months ago, "Would I be on Joe Rogan's podcast saying that I like Jane the Virgin?" I would say, "No, of course not."

Joe Rogan 12:04 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 12:05 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 12:05 Well, I remember when, you know, people used to think that d- being on one of those networks wouldn't do you any good, one of those little small networks, but then ...

Jim Gaffigan 12:14 ... TruTV put on Impractical Jokers-

Joe Rogan 12:16 Amazing.

Jim Gaffigan 12:16 ... and those guys are selling out arenas. Amazing.

Joe Rogan 12:19 That fucking show is so crazy popular.

Jim Gaffigan 12:22 It, it's, you know, it's fascinating watching that show because I, you know, you try and understand it because... But I think it's the authenticity of those guys.

Joe Rogan 12:32 Yeah. They're pals.

Jim Gaffigan 12:33 And it's not manufactured.

Joe Rogan 12:35 Right.

Jim Gaffigan 12:36 And, and I think people like that.

Joe Rogan 12:38 Yes. Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 12:39 It's very appealing. You're like, you know... And I think that's also, like, real guys.

Joe Rogan 12:43 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 12:44 I think there is so much beautiful people that we consume, so, so much beautiful people that we're shocked when we see a regular-looking person.

Joe Rogan 12:55 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 12:55 We're like, "Wait a minute, what, what, did that person, that person must be a bad guy." I used to j- have a joke about that.

Joe Rogan 13:01 They seem like you could hang out with them too.

Jim Gaffigan 13:03 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 13:03 Like, they seem like regular guys that would be fun to hang out with.

Jim Gaffigan 13:05 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 13:06 It's like, "Oh, I wanna be with them." (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 13:08 No, like, when I first heard the premise, I was like, "Oh, this is..." But by the way, it's been going on for a while.

Joe Rogan 13:14 Quite a while, yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 13:15 And I was doing shows in London, and m- we have the same agent, and they were doing an arena three nights in a row.

Joe Rogan 13:23 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 13:23 In London.

Joe Rogan 13:24 That's crazy.

Jim Gaffigan 13:26 Crazy.

Joe Rogan 13:26 It's amazing. Like, who the fuck saw that coming? When I heard about it from Ari, Ari Shaffir was telling me that these guys were selling out theaters, and I was like, "Really?" I'm like, "That's incredible." I go, "How big?" They went like, "5,000 people." I was like, "What?"

Jim Gaffigan 13:37 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 13:37 "What?" And that was years ago. Now, it's, they've moved to arenas.

Jim Gaffigan 13:40 Yeah. And, and they just keep going.

Joe Rogan 13:42 And they have, like, a whole multimedia show, right? Where they show videos and all kinds of crazy shit, and they interact with things.

Jim Gaffigan 13:47 And, and they're also, like, the, they're still the same guys.

Joe Rogan 13:51 Yes. Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 13:51 So they were always those guys.

Joe Rogan 13:53 Yeah. Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 13:54 It wasn't like, uh, some cute boy who was trying to act like he's-

Joe Rogan 13:58 Right.

Jim Gaffigan 13:59 ... you know, uh, one of the guys.

Joe Rogan 14:00 Right, like a record company-produced boy band.

Jim Gaffigan 14:03 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 14:03 Yeah. No, that's who they are. Well, that's how, probably why it resonates with people.

Jim Gaffigan 14:08 I think so.

Joe Rogan 14:08 Because it is authentic. Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 14:09 I think authenticity is really important. I think that's what people like about... I think that's the success of this podcast, is the authenticity, that it's not prepackaged. There isn't, um... Like, I mean, e- people, you should understand, it's like even, it's, uh, it's a, it's a weird thing. I, I, I don't know. I don't know if you wanna talk about this or not, so I won't talk about it.

Joe Rogan 14:36 That is a weird thing to me.

Jim Gaffigan 14:37 It's-

Joe Rogan 14:38 And I do it.

Jim Gaffigan 14:39 But, like, did you... 'Cause I did this back when it was at, um, the Icehouse, and it's like boom, boom, boom, boom.

Joe Rogan 14:48 Mm-hmm.

Jim Gaffigan 14:48 It's amazing.

Joe Rogan 14:49 Yeah, it's pretty crazy.

Jim Gaffigan 14:50 It's pretty crazy.

Joe Rogan 14:51 Yeah. Who the fuck saw that coming? I didn't see it coming. Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 14:55 But i- it's like, it's a perfect example of doing something on your terms and it working out.

Joe Rogan 14:59 Yeah, for sure, and also zero promotion of it. I never promoted it at all. I never did any television shows to promote it or took out any ads or did other people's podcasts to let people know about it. I just kept doing it.

Jim Gaffigan 15:12 Wh-

Joe Rogan 15:12 I just felt like, "Let me just keep doing it. I enjoy doing it, just keep doing it." And then it bec- totally 100% built by word of mouth.

Jim Gaffigan 15:19 And so what, articles that are written about it, do you read those or no?

Joe Rogan 15:23 No. No.

Jim Gaffigan 15:23 Nothing.

Joe Rogan 15:24 I don't think it's wise.

Jim Gaffigan 15:25 Because also, like, even, generally when there are articles written about comedians, uh, you're kind of... There's always like, "All right, let's see what this half-day of research-"

Joe Rogan 15:38 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 15:38 "... how they interpret it." Do you remem- I remember in the-

Joe Rogan 15:41 Your entire body of work, right?

Jim Gaffigan 15:42 ... in the '90s there would be like, New York Magazine would be like, "The end of standup comedy."

Joe Rogan 15:46 Yes. (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 15:47 And you'd read the article and you're like, "Well, I guess, oh, they followed that person. They don't even really even do standup."

Joe Rogan 15:53 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 15:53 Um, so it is, there is no point behind it, but I'm just kind of a sucker for trying to understand where the zeitgeist is trying to steer things. But in the end, I think comedy, you know, Seinfeld describes it as like, it all comes down to butts in seats.

Joe Rogan 16:10 Mm-hmm.

Jim Gaffigan 16:11 Butts in seats. Like, they can kind of promote, uh, you know, like the new best thing, but, you know, those people, uh, show up to shows. They, you know, they're not told where to go.

Joe Rogan 16:24 Y- I think what's also important to note is that the narrative's no longer being controlled by media. Like, you, you can't... An article in Newsweek or, uh, uh, on a website or an, uh, uh, some YouTube piece, it doesn't define things anymore.

Jim Gaffigan 16:39 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 16:40 The, the landscape is too big. Not, no media outlet has any sort of monopoly on how to define someone or something. The, the people decide now. It's really a meritocracy in that way.

Jim Gaffigan 16:52 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 16:53 That if you, if you have something that's good, people find out about it and they like it. And you can write all your hit pieces that you want, they don't work anymore.

Jim Gaffigan 17:01 No.

Joe Rogan 17:01 It doesn't work.

Jim Gaffigan 17:02 But-

Joe Rogan 17:02 You know, you'll, you'll change a few people's minds, 'cause they'll buy into it, but then if they investigate themselves, they'll feel, "Oh, you're a piece-of-shit journalist. This is a terrible article about something."

Jim Gaffigan 17:11 It's... You know, it... But I sometimes think, well, like, I have two theories on this. O- one, I sometimes think, "Was it always like this and I didn't see it?" Or here's my other theory. My other theory is that in the collapse of traditional media, meaning the collapse of newspapers and, and just, uh, you know, television news bureaus, that there, because there's no money to pay, uh, someone to be, say like, a, a movie review. My wa- my, uh, father-in-law is, he used to write movie reviews f- in Milwaukee, and he would review the movies, and that was his job. And that job is really only present in, in very rare situations. Otherwise, it's just the opportunity of someone that does it out of a passion thing, meaning someone who has a blog, or it's someone who is, doesn't need a financial incentive. So, in other words, they're like, "You got 50 bucks to write a review of this thing." Or, so it ends up not being...... close to objective. Does that make sense?

Joe Rogan 18:23 Hmm. Yeah, no, it does. And I, I think if you're gonna really study something, like if you, if you want to know about a person, you know, say if it, it's a politician or, you know, an actor or comic or whoever you're writing about, the idea that you're gonna figure them out with just a, a few hours of Google searching is kind of crazy. Like-

Jim Gaffigan 18:43 It's absolutely crazy.

Joe Rogan 18:44 I mean, and, and the, the rush is to define someone in either very flattering or very unflattering ways. The, the-

Jim Gaffigan 18:52 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 18:53 ... this, that's really where most of the energy goes.

Jim Gaffigan 18:57 Right.

Joe Rogan 18:57 Most of the stories are either hit pieces or they're fluff pieces that seem to be propped up by a publicist.

Jim Gaffigan 19:04 Yeah, there is ... I, I feel as though ... Like, I did this movie that came out, um ... It was just a small indie comedy where I was a guy, uh, w- who had two separate families and they didn't know about each other. So it's like, he's a good guy. No, but he had two families. And it's a comedy. It's set in the '90s and y- you know, the, the reviews that didn't like the movie, that didn't surprise me, you know? Or the criticisms. But like, a lot of the reviews were kind of, um ... There was a tone of like, "How dare this white male (laughs) have two fam-" Like, they couldn't get beyond ... Like, it wasn't ... Like, they would insert like, a, a social commentary-

Joe Rogan 19:54 Mm-hmm.

Jim Gaffigan 19:55 ... uh, onto a platform that was not for that.

Joe Rogan 19:59 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 19:59 Do you know what I mean?

Joe Rogan 19:59 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 20:00 Like it was, the- there was, there was a portrayal of ... And there were great female actor, uh, uh, actors that played my wives. And there, there were some reviews that were like, "They under-served them." And it's like, you know, the movie was really about my character and his son, you know? And, but like, people were frustrated about story, but because of the day we live in, it, it had to be kind of deciphered through this, uh, kind of social, um, uh, critique that is just absurd.

Joe Rogan 20:35 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 20:35 And it wasn't here and there. It was a lot of reviews like that.

Joe Rogan 20:39 Well, they feel like there's an obligation to discuss that now too. If they feel like-

Jim Gaffigan 20:42 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 20:42 ... there's some sort of an imbalance sexually, like, uh, between genders on, on a, on a television show or, or intersectionality.

Jim Gaffigan 20:49 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 20:49 If it's a ... If it has something to do with race or gender or politics or ... They feel like the- this is something that must be discussed. And one of the things that I hear from friends that, that are, that are very frustrated is that when they pitch shows-

Jim Gaffigan 21:01 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 21:01 ... when they pitch shows to the network, if they have a story, an idea, like, "This is what we're trying to s- ... This is the thing." They're like, "Okay, where's the diversity?"

Jim Gaffigan 21:08 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 21:08 It's like one of the first questions. They're like, "Well, it's about an Irish family that lives in the Bronx."

Jim Gaffigan 21:12 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 21:12 Like, I don't know what to tell you.

Jim Gaffigan 21:14 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 21:14 You know, it's ... This is what the s- the story's about. They're like, "Well, where's the diversity?" Like, you have to insert diversity to meet their criteria. Like, you can't just have a, a ... You can have a story as long as the person's m- ... Like, you could have a story about a Hatia- a Haitian family and it'd just be all about the Haitian family.

Jim Gaffigan 21:30 Right.

Joe Rogan 21:30 No one's gonna say, "Well, what about white guys? We need to get some white guys on the show."

Jim Gaffigan 21:33 Yeah. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 21:33 No.

Jim Gaffigan 21:33 'Cause if you inserted the white guys, then it's the white savior story.

Joe Rogan 21:36 Right. Exac-

Jim Gaffigan 21:36 So you can't be the white guys.

Joe Rogan 21:37 ... ly. Yeah. Yeah, I just can't wait until we're done with all this. I mean, maybe it, maybe it'll be long after we're done, w- and long after we're dead.

Jim Gaffigan 21:44 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 21:44 But when there's no more racism and this is no longer an, a, a viable storyline and they, like ... No one gives a fuck if you're Chinese or Indian or-

Jim Gaffigan 21:52 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 21:52 ... from Pakistan.

Jim Gaffigan 21:53 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 21:53 We legitimately don't care. They're just different varieties of people and there's no judgment whatsoever. I can't wait for that time. But until then-

Jim Gaffigan 22:00 It's ... Yeah.

Joe Rogan 22:00 ... we just have to deal with these absurd people that peddle in this, this narrative that w- you have to have, you know, X amount of white ... Like, I wa- ... I was reading something where someone was, uh, saying that I should run for, uh, I, I should, uh, m- n- moderate the presidential debates.

Jim Gaffigan 22:00 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 22:00 And, and-

Jim Gaffigan 22:00 That would be amazing.

Joe Rogan 22:00 ... someone's ... I'm ... It's never gonna happen.

Jim Gaffigan 22:00 You'd make them all smoke pot before you started that. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 22:00 For sure. Yeah. Yeah, I just can't wait until we're done with all this. I mean, maybe it, maybe it'll be long after we're done, w- and long after we're dead.

Jim Gaffigan 22:00 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 22:00 But when there's no more racism and this is no longer an, a, a viable storyline and they, like ... No one gives a fuck if you're Chinese or Indian or-

Jim Gaffigan 22:00 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 22:00 ... from Pakistan. We legitimately don't care. They're just different varieties of people and there's no judgment whatsoever. I can't wait for that time.

Jim Gaffigan 22:00 It's ... Yeah.

Joe Rogan 22:00 Until then, we just have to deal with these absurd people that peddle in this, this narrative that w- you have to have, you know, X amount of white ... Like, I wa- ... I was reading something where someone was, uh, saying that I should run for, uh, I, I should, uh, m- n- moderate the presidential debates.

Jim Gaffigan 22:12 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 22:12 And, and-

Jim Gaffigan 22:12 That would be amazing.

Joe Rogan 22:12 ... someone's ... I'm ... It's never gonna happen.

Jim Gaffigan 22:12 You'd make them all smoke pot before you started that. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 22:12 For sure. Yeah. Yeah, I just can't wait until we're done with all this. I mean, maybe it, maybe it'll be long after we're done, w- and long after we're dead. Uh. But when there's no more racism and there's no longer an, a, a viable storyline and they, like ... No one gives a fuck if you're Chinese or Indian or-

Jim Gaffigan 22:12 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 22:12 ... from Pakistan.

Jim Gaffigan 22:12 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 22:12 We legitimately don't care. They're just different varieties of people and there's no judgment whatsoever. I can't wait for that time.

Jim Gaffigan 22:12 It's ... Yeah.

Joe Rogan 22:12 Until then, we just have to deal with these absurd people that peddle this narrative that w- you have to have, you know, X amount of white ... Like, I wa- ... I was reading something where someone was, uh, saying that I should run for, uh, I, I should, uh, m- n- moderate the presidential debates. (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 22:17 That would be amazing.

Joe Rogan 22:17 And someone's ... I'm ... It's never gonna happen.

Jim Gaffigan 22:18 You'd make them all smoke pot before you started that.

Joe Rogan 22:20 For sure.

Jim Gaffigan 22:21 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 22:21 It's never gonna happen. But someone said, "Why do that when you can give it to a talented black woman?" I'm like, "Okay, I'm out. We're out. We're not, we're not talking about that."

Jim Gaffigan 22:28 And by the way, here's the thing. It's ... And I think you'd agree with me. I, I do think there's an imbalance.

Joe Rogan 22:35 Yes.

Jim Gaffigan 22:35 And we do have to correct it.

Joe Rogan 22:36 Yes.

Jim Gaffigan 22:36 And I do think that like, uh ... You know, and it's great that we have the, the knowledge and the foresight, but humans, we're just clumsy.

Joe Rogan 22:45 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 22:45 We're just clumsy, you know, with, um ... You know, we're just like, "Uh, let's just stick this here."

Joe Rogan 22:51 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 22:52 When, when ... You know, creativity is much more complex than that.

Joe Rogan 22:56 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 22:56 Like, even, even any comedian ... We could have Carrot Top here. There's a nuance on every joke he does.

Joe Rogan 23:03 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 23:03 Like, people can sit there and be dismissive, but like, he's like, "You know what? I can't do that joke before I do this joke."

Joe Rogan 23:08 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 23:09 Whereas people just think, it's like, "No, just stick this in there. Stick a speech in there." But I almost feel as like when Green Book won, 'cause I saw it after the fact, I was like ... 'Cause, you know, like there's this, this belief of, "Oh, you know, you, if you play a, a disabled person, you win." And ... But it's much more of like, that movie winning was like, "Oh, yeah," you know? It's i- it's, you know, the great crime of America and race, so it, it brings that up. It also deals with, uh, you know, uh, homosexuality and like, the struggle of that, which is profound. I can't even contemplate it. But it's like, that's why the movie won.

Joe Rogan 23:51 Mmm.

Jim Gaffigan 23:52 And it was also we love Italians. We-

Joe Rogan 23:54 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 23:54 America loves Ital- ... "Hey, you gotta talk like this." See? Who doesn't love that? A- America loves Italians, they love Boston, and you know, that's ... You know, that's w- ... There's certain things that America loves. So I was like, "Oh, that's why it won."

Joe Rogan 24:08 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 24:09 I'm not saying it's a bad movie. I'm not saying Viggo wasn't great. I'm just saying, that's why it won.

Joe Rogan 24:14 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 24:15 And it's weird.

Joe Rogan 24:16 It is a little weird. But it ... On the other hand, one way to look at it is the ... Like, there's i- ... The idea that there can be no darkness without light, right? There could be no ... There can be no real appreciation of-... true diversity without an understanding of racism. Like, and it- it- to- to have it around in its ugliest form makes you appreciate the people that don't express that, that aren't racist, that are just even-keeled people that appreciate everybody.

Jim Gaffigan 24:43 Well, you know, there- there's- there's also this, too, is that, you know, I'm- I tend to lean left. I'm pretty, uh, liberal socially. And, um, but, uh, and, you know, when Trump was elected and, like, there was the Women's March and all this stuff, there was this- I had this thought process of, like, "How do I- how do I, you know, cont- how can I contribute? How can I help make this country better?" Which is- sounds grandiose, which it is. But the thing is, is like, I'm not changing anyone's mind.

Joe Rogan 25:20 Mm-hmm.

Jim Gaffigan 25:20 I really believe that. It's like- and if anything, I think at my shows, it's like people are kind of like, "Huh, a break from it."

Joe Rogan 25:29 Yes. Yes.

Jim Gaffigan 25:29 Do you know what I mean? Like, it's- we're all thinking about it-

Joe Rogan 25:32 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 25:32 ... all the time. We're like, "All right, there's a- a tariff, uh, a Chinese tariff! What does that mean? I don't know what that means! Is that- are American farmers destroyed? What- what's going on?" But, like, when they come to my show, they don't want me to rehash it.

Joe Rogan 25:46 Yes. Yeah, no, I think that's one of the keys to your success, is that you provide a vacation.

Jim Gaffigan 25:51 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 25:51 A fun, silly, well thought out, comedically brilliant sort of vacation from the nonsense of the day.

Jim Gaffigan 25:58 But also pointing out that humans are- we're absurd.

Joe Rogan 26:02 Yes.

Jim Gaffigan 26:02 We're stupid.

Joe Rogan 26:02 Yes. Yeah. Sure.

Jim Gaffigan 26:03 We are so stupid. Like, we just think- humans think we have it- every generation, we think we have it figured out.

Joe Rogan 26:09 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 26:10 That's, uh, like the- the- the suredness of people makes me concerned.

Joe Rogan 26:16 (laughs) It should, right?

Jim Gaffigan 26:16 Like, you know, there were people at a time that were like, "Here's how we serve the- how- here- how we solve the flu is we're gonna put these leeches on people. Trust me, it's working." Like, they- they were convinced that would work.

Joe Rogan 26:28 Yeah. Yeah, it makes you wonder, like, what- how we're gonna view this generation 100 years from now or 200 years from now.

Jim Gaffigan 26:35 Oh, it's gonna be fas-

Joe Rogan 26:36 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 26:36 I mean, I've got a- I've got a 15-year-old-

Joe Rogan 26:39 Ugh.

Jim Gaffigan 26:39 ... who, uh, is so, uh- my children are- they're so fascinating. But-

Joe Rogan 26:45 And you live in New York City still.

Jim Gaffigan 26:47 I live in New York City.

Joe Rogan 26:48 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 26:48 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 26:48 Which is cra- I- I- I always- we talked about this a long time ago.

Jim Gaffigan 26:51 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 26:51 That that's a wild place to raise kids.

Jim Gaffigan 26:53 I- is it?

Joe Rogan 26:54 I don't know. You tell me.

Jim Gaffigan 26:56 I don't ... I feel like there is, um, there is socioeconomic, uh, cultural more diversity my kids walking to a subway station-

Joe Rogan 27:10 Sure.

Jim Gaffigan 27:10 ... than if we lived in the suburbs.

Joe Rogan 27:12 For sure, yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 27:13 Um, and, uh, yeah, you know, it's- you know, they don't have a yard, but, like, I'm kind of like, I don't know, it seems like people that have yards, they're, like, paranoid about their kids getting snatched anyway. So, uh, but, I don't know, it's what- I also- you know, I feel like there's a lot of convenience in New York that I like. And I also, to be perfectly honest, it's like, in LA, I feel like I feel kind of smothered by the entertainment industry.

Joe Rogan 27:43 Hm.

Jim Gaffigan 27:44 And- and maybe it's, uh, my insecurity, but it's like-

Joe Rogan 27:47 No, I think you're right.

Jim Gaffigan 27:47 ... there's like- y- you drive down the street, there's all these billboards, and- and each of those billboards is saying, "You're a failure!"

Joe Rogan 27:54 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 27:54 "Look at this person! This person- this is their fifth show where they're gonna get an Emmy nomination, and people don't even know your name!"

Joe Rogan 28:03 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 28:03 You know? So it's- I mean, obviously, just fate had it where I stayed in New York, 'cause there's plenty of reasons to live in LA.

Joe Rogan 28:10 Well, first and foremost, you're a comic. You're always-

Jim Gaffigan 28:12 Yes.

Joe Rogan 28:12 ... recognized as a comic, but you do a lot of other things as well. But, like, being- y- you do a lot of other movies and television shows and stuff. But being in New York City, I think you- in- in some ways, you get the b- best of both worlds.

Jim Gaffigan 28:25 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 28:25 Because you get many clubs to perform in-

Jim Gaffigan 28:27 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 28:28 ... many clubs to practice in, but you also don't get that sort of scrutiny of the- the agents and the managers in the entertainment industry, so you can work on your shit. And then, on top of that, you're not surrounded by the business.

Jim Gaffigan 28:41 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 28:41 Right? You- you're around-

Jim Gaffigan 28:42 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 28:42 ... fucking regular folks just hustling and doing their thing.

Jim Gaffigan 28:46 Yeah, I mean, I'm traveling constantly, too, so it's- but there is- yeah, I just like doing- I mean, here's where I think I'm doing the- doing it wrong or doing it right. It's like, I just care about good stage time, quality stage time. Whereas I think, uh, you know, even- you know, like, I don't work at The Cellar in New York City, and that's n- you know, some of that goes back history, but, like, some of it is I just want stage time, and I can eat dinner with my kids, put some of them to bed, and decide to do a spot, go do the spot, come back, and wrangle my two other kids to get to sleep. Whereas, uh, if I went to The Cellar or if I had to make the journey, the drive in LA, it would be a different commitment. I'm, uh-

Joe Rogan 29:35 What's the thing about The Cellar that makes it more difficult?

Jim Gaffigan 29:38 Well, you know, some of it is- is peers and friends. Like, I don't like the idea, uh, y- you know, the hierarchy of- I always kind of get, you know, a little bit- like, I'm just kind of like, I just want to do standup. I just want to do it.

Joe Rogan 29:53 Mm-hmm.

Jim Gaffigan 29:54 Uh, I spent a lot of time hanging out in comedy clubs. And some of it is, like, in- at The Cellar, I don't want to bump some of my friends that I started with.

Joe Rogan 30:03 Right.

Jim Gaffigan 30:04 And I also don't want to get bumped by somebody else.

Joe Rogan 30:06 Mm-hmm.

Jim Gaffigan 30:07 It's like I- you know, I- you know, I'm not gonna abuse doing a set, but I'll go in and I'll do 15 minutes. It won't disrupt anyone's night. But I also know that at The Cellar, you- you know, there's gonna be people that show up. Sometimes there's a pack of three or four people that are gonna do sets, and everyone's kind of off, uh, for that night. But also, it's-You know, it goes back, like, 20 years ago. I'm a low energy kinda comedian, and, uh, it used to ... You know, I used to put in avails at The Cellar, and it would kinda determine ... I would get, you know, like, "You get a spot Wednesday at 1:00 AM." And so, like, I would be bummed for the week.

Joe Rogan 30:48 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 30:49 So I don't wanna, I don't wanna give my power away in those situa-

Joe Rogan 30:53 Yeah, I see what you're saying.

Jim Gaffigan 30:53 I just wanna do standup.

Joe Rogan 30:55 So you'd rather just do good spots-

Jim Gaffigan 30:56 I'd rather go to Gotham.

Joe Rogan 30:57 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 30:58 And, and also-

Joe Rogan 30:59 Gotham's great.

Jim Gaffigan 30:59 And I, and I ... Look, I love The Cellar, but I feel like that's also, uh, the, the layout of the room is far more interactive, whereas I wanna try out material. Um, but I don't know. It's shift- it's shifted, because The Cellar is ... It's a great club with a great complex. I mean, there's three rooms.

Joe Rogan 31:18 Mm-hmm.

Jim Gaffigan 31:19 So ... But some of it is I'm now at the point where I just wanna do one set, and I also don't wanna, like ... I don't want a friend like Todd Barry looking at me like, "You're bumping me?"

Joe Rogan 31:30 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 31:31 You know what I mean?

Joe Rogan 31:32 Do you call in, or do you just show up?

Jim Gaffigan 31:34 I call in.

Joe Rogan 31:35 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 31:35 So I'll call, but, uh, sometimes I'll decide at, like, 8:10. I'll call Gotham and I'll go, "Is it okay if I come in?" And they'll say, "Yes. It's better if you come in at 8:40 or 9:10, just so that I don't-"

Joe Rogan 31:48 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 31:48 "... screw anyone up."

Joe Rogan 31:48 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 31:49 And then, you know, but, like, at Gotham, Seinfeld always goes there too, so it's like ... I'm like, "I gotta get there before Jerry."

Joe Rogan 31:55 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 31:57 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 31:57 Well, that's the beautiful thing about a big city like New York, particularly about New York. There's so many different options.

Jim Gaffigan 32:02 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 32:02 Like, in Los Angeles, we really only have The Comedy Store, The Improv, The Laugh Factory, and then the, there's a few on the outskirts.

Jim Gaffigan 32:09 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 32:09 But New York City has so many more options.

Jim Gaffigan 32:12 It's amazing the transformation The Comedy Store has gone through.

Joe Rogan 32:19 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 32:20 Like, it is the ... I would say it's probably one of the most important clubs in the country, beyond a doubt. Maybe ... I'm thinking it's, like, up there, right? As, like, the surefire thing if you're an audience member. You go to The Store, you're gonna see a great show. But, like, 15 years ago, I don't know if that was the case.

Joe Rogan 32:39 No. No, it wasn't the case in 2008.

Jim Gaffigan 32:44 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 32:44 Yeah, it was, it was pretty bad for a while.

Jim Gaffigan 32:45 And who is, who is responsible? 'Cause that i- that comes down to management.

Joe Rogan 32:50 That has a lot to do with it. It also ... The internet, a lot of us, uh, talking about how great The Comedy Store is.

Jim Gaffigan 32:54 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 32:54 Also, getting rid of the old management, firing them.

Jim Gaffigan 32:57 Right.

Joe Rogan 32:58 They found the old guy, uh, was running the place, was stealing money, and they fired him.

Jim Gaffigan 33:02 (laughs) There's ... Comedy St-

Joe Rogan 33:02 He was a piece of shit anyway. He was just running it poorly.

Jim Gaffigan 33:03 There's so many stories where it's like, "And then it was revealed they were stealing."

Joe Rogan 33:08 Mm-hmm.

Jim Gaffigan 33:08 And you're like, "What?"

Joe Rogan 33:09 Yeah. Yeah, they, they, they did a sting operation and caught him stealing money.

Jim Gaffigan 33:13 Oh.

Joe Rogan 33:13 Yeah, he was a bad guy, but just running the place poorly too.

Jim Gaffigan 33:16 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 33:17 And he was the reason why I wasn't there for seven years.

Jim Gaffigan 33:19 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 33:19 Yeah, so-

Jim Gaffigan 33:20 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 33:20 I came back, and, you know, b- b- all the talking about The Store with comics on podcasts too-

Jim Gaffigan 33:26 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 33:26 ... got people so excited about it, and then you'd look at the lineup. Like, on a Tuesday night, it's just a murderer's row.

Jim Gaffigan 33:31 And also, those rooms are great. The layout of the rooms-

Joe Rogan 33:35 Mm-hmm.

Jim Gaffigan 33:35 ... are, like, great for performing.

Joe Rogan 33:38 Yes.

Jim Gaffigan 33:38 They're not kinda like this, you know ... Like, I love Zanies in Chicago, but it's like, it's not like the stage is three feet higher than the audience. It's-

Joe Rogan 33:46 Right.

Jim Gaffigan 33:47 It's almost perfectly designed and laid out.

Joe Rogan 33:49 Yes, yes. Yeah. Yeah, you don't wanna be above. Like, the, The Store, like, the original room is probably the best room in the world to figure out if your jokes are any good.

Jim Gaffigan 33:57 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 33:58 'Cause if, if, if you f- have any weird fat in your material or just extra-

Jim Gaffigan 34:03 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 34:03 ... words or fakeness or ... It just gets exposed in that room.

Jim Gaffigan 34:06 Yeah, I love, I love going to different places, and I call it purifying a joke.

Joe Rogan 34:12 Are you doing spots tonight anywhere?

Jim Gaffigan 34:13 No, I'm, uh ... Probably not.

Joe Rogan 34:15 Come on down to The Store.

Jim Gaffigan 34:16 I'm an old man.

Joe Rogan 34:17 Get the fuck outta here. You're in town.

Jim Gaffigan 34:18 Are you going there?

Joe Rogan 34:19 Yeah, yeah. Come down.

Jim Gaffigan 34:19 All right, maybe I'll go.

Joe Rogan 34:20 I'm up at, uh, 9:30.

Jim Gaffigan 34:22 All right, I'll go. I'll bump you.

Joe Rogan 34:23 I'll hook it up. Want me to hook it up?

Jim Gaffigan 34:23 I'll bump you. I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go and bump you.

Joe Rogan 34:25 I'll bump you.

Jim Gaffigan 34:25 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 34:25 I'll, I'll, I'll call in for you.

Jim Gaffigan 34:27 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 34:27 I'll make you bump me.

Jim Gaffigan 34:29 No. (laughs) No, uh ... Yeah, I mean, it's just ... I've been doing this, all this promotion for this Amazon Prime thing. There's so many shows.

Joe Rogan 34:40 Mm-hmm.

Jim Gaffigan 34:40 Like, there's shows that I'm like ... And I've heard of them, but I'm like, "How many ... " Like, it's, it's getting to the point where people ... Like, we're doing individual shows for just one person.

Joe Rogan 34:51 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 34:51 Like, I feel like I'm like ... I'll do these shows, and I'll be like, "All right," you know, and I don't wanna name them, (laughs) but, but you're like, "Are there p- ..." Like, I'll look at my publicist, I'm like, "Is there people that listen to this?" And he's like, "Yeah, a million people." I'm like, "Really?"

Joe Rogan 35:05 There's so many people, Jim. That's what it is.

Jim Gaffigan 35:08 It's just, it used to be the, uh, m- there ... But, like, it's strange to do a show, have a great time, you know, uh, uh, really kind of engage in conversation, and it, it drops, and no one says anything on-

Joe Rogan 35:24 No.

Jim Gaffigan 35:24 ... Twitter or Instagram or Facebook.

Joe Rogan 35:26 Well, there's ... If you really stop and think about how many television shows there are in terms of, like, s- shows that you can binge-watch, it's impossible. You would literally lose your entire day, every day of the week, just trying to keep up with the hits. There's no way. It's impossible. And then you have ... How many people have talk shows? How many ... I mean, there's James Corden and there's The Tonight Show-

Jim Gaffigan 35:46 No.

Joe Rogan 35:46 ... and there's Colbert and Jimmy Kimmel.

Jim Gaffigan 35:48 When did you decide to not ... 'Cause you used to do those shows.

Joe Rogan 35:52 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 35:53 Was there a ... Was i- it's a time management thing?

Joe Rogan 35:56 It's a time management thing, and it's also I don't believe that they have a good format. I think that format is nonsense. I think the format of waiting for commercials and the audience, being right there and playing to the audience, it's not, it's not an effective way to have a conversation. It's definitely not an effective way to express ideas that are complicated. You wanna be able to, like, f- air them out in a long form way. (clears throat) And you can't do that on those shows. You just can't. It's, it's in, it's out, and if anything weird or controversial comes up, you stick your foot in your mouth, you never have a chance to take it out. Nobody really gets a chance to see how your mind really works. Like, what, what are you thinking? What, what, uh, w- where is your head at? How do you come to these conclusions? What's your thought process? Who are you as a person? Are you a good person? Are you trying to do good?

Jim Gaffigan 36:41 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 36:41 Are you flawed? Are you ... What, what, uh, what are you?

Jim Gaffigan 36:44 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 36:44 And you find that out in a long form conversation, so like ... (clears throat) ... when I had Bernie Sanders on, one of the things that people said was most interesting is like, "This guy's not a cartoon. He's a really nice guy. I see him on these shows and he seems like this fucking cartoonish character-"

Jim Gaffigan 36:57 Right.

Joe Rogan 36:57 "... but now you see him here in this long form conversation where there's no interruptions at all. He just has a chance to think and talk and express himself." And you go, "Oh, now I know the real Bernie because I never knew him in these goddamn debates when he's screaming for 12 seconds-

Jim Gaffigan 37:13 Right.

Joe Rogan 37:13 ... about healthcare, about taxes, or about whatever it is."

Jim Gaffigan 37:17 Yeah. I, it's fascinating. Like, uh, right, here, let me a- let me ask you this.

Joe Rogan 37:22 Okay.

Jim Gaffigan 37:22 'Cause-

Joe Rogan 37:22 Nicky says, um, "Give me one of them." So let me try those out.

Jim Gaffigan 37:24 Oh, they're beautiful.

Narrator 37:25 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 37:25 They're delicious.

Joe Rogan 37:26 Is it good?

Jim Gaffigan 37:26 I go original flavor.

Joe Rogan 37:27 And you used to, used to do the chew, right?

Jim Gaffigan 37:29 I used to dip-

Joe Rogan 37:30 Mm-hmm.

Jim Gaffigan 37:30 ... and then I used to smoke cigarettes. Like, there's... My wife has, uh-

Joe Rogan 37:34 Thank you.

Jim Gaffigan 37:35 ... uh, videos, like, you know, we have all these old videos of us doing standup.

Joe Rogan 37:40 Mm-hmm.

Jim Gaffigan 37:40 And she was transferring them to, like, DVDs at the time. Now we're gonna have to get them off the DVD. And she would find these videos of me doing standup smoking on stage.

Joe Rogan 37:51 Whoa, back in the day, son.

Jim Gaffigan 37:53 And she was like, "What are you doing?"

Narrator 37:55 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 37:56 And I'm like, "Yeah, I used to smoke." I used to... You know, I had yellow fingers. (chewing) I was chain smoking.

Joe Rogan 38:01 I smoked cigarettes before I go on stage, even recently. I smoked one of Chappelle's cigarettes, uh, last weekend. It gives you-

Jim Gaffigan 38:06 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 38:06 ... a crazy head rush. Before you go on stage, I like it. (chewing)

Jim Gaffigan 38:11 It's-

Joe Rogan 38:11 When I wanna smoke cigarettes... Sorry for the smacking in the-

Jim Gaffigan 38:14 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 38:14 ... microphone, folks. It's a terrible thing to smoke cigarettes, but there's a weird rush that you get from, from the nicotine.

Jim Gaffigan 38:21 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 38:21 It's like a, it's a head rush. It's like you feel good.

Jim Gaffigan 38:24 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 38:25 It-

Jim Gaffigan 38:25 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 38:25 ... fires up your brain.

Jim Gaffigan 38:25 Well, you feel it, you feel it the first couple times, and then-

Joe Rogan 38:29 Right.

Jim Gaffigan 38:29 ... you're chasing it for the rest of your life.

Joe Rogan 38:31 Well, if you only smoke it-

Jim Gaffigan 38:32 As you just shovel money into a garbage can.

Joe Rogan 38:34 ... once a week. If you s- smoke a cigarette once a week before you go on stage.

Jim Gaffigan 38:38 (laughs) That's a real, that's... Hey, kids out there, just listen (laughs) .

Joe Rogan 38:42 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 38:42 Just listen to Uncle Joe. Just smoke-

Joe Rogan 38:45 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 38:45 ... one cigarette a week and it'll be fun.

Joe Rogan 38:47 Well, I'm thinking maybe your nicotine gum might be the, uh, substitute for that, 'cause what I'm getting is the nicotine, right? I mean, that's what the rush is.

Jim Gaffigan 38:53 Oh, it's great.

Joe Rogan 38:54 Maybe I should-

Jim Gaffigan 38:54 By the way-

Joe Rogan 38:54 ... start smoking cigars before I go on stage.

Jim Gaffigan 38:57 I, um-

Joe Rogan 38:57 Maybe I should.

Jim Gaffigan 38:57 ... I, the, the, the nicotine gum, it used to curb my hunger.

Joe Rogan 39:03 It used to.

Jim Gaffigan 39:03 It used to curb. Nothing does now.

Joe Rogan 39:06 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 39:06 Nothing at all curbs it. It's like, but we were talking about this outside. I'm like, there are times when I've been more in shape than others, but I feel like at this point I'm like, you know, maybe I'll just go in, all in and fat guy. I might just be like, "You know what? I'm just, I'm just gonna go all in, you know, like, you know, I'll just, you know, I'll take the place of Pinette, you know, I'll just do that."

Narrator 39:27 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 39:27 You know what I mean? It's-

Joe Rogan 39:29 You f- you seem thinner though than I've seen you before.

Jim Gaffigan 39:31 I'm not. I'm not.

Joe Rogan 39:33 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 39:34 I'm not at all. But it's just, I have low T. I don't know what that even means. Like, I see those commercials.

Joe Rogan 39:39 Low testosterone is what it is.

Jim Gaffigan 39:40 Yeah, do you take testosterone?

Joe Rogan 39:42 Yes. I take testosterone. Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 39:43 You seem like you drink it every morning.

Joe Rogan 39:46 (laughs) No.

Jim Gaffigan 39:46 Have you ever like... But like, I, I feel like I just need like energy.

Joe Rogan 39:51 Yeah, that'll give you energy. Your body's dying, and-

Jim Gaffigan 39:54 It is dying, right?

Joe Rogan 39:55 ... your endocrine system no longer produces the hormones it needs to stay alive.

Jim Gaffigan 39:57 You lost me at endocrine. Um-

Joe Rogan 39:59 I mean, th- there's, there's, when you see an older person when they have d- diminished muscle f- and their, their mass is like shrinking-

Jim Gaffigan 40:06 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 40:06 ... that's what's going on. Their body doesn't produce the hormones in or- in order to keep the mass going. So, what you have to do is two things. One, you have to lift weights, that's one thing, and two, you have to supplement your hormones.

Jim Gaffigan 40:16 Th- too, e- too hard.

Joe Rogan 40:17 Too hard?

Jim Gaffigan 40:17 But, um, no, uh, but, y- some of it is I'm so focused on eating.

Joe Rogan 40:23 (laughs)

Narrator 40:23 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 40:23 No, I'm so focused on... I, I sometimes listen to my set while I work out. It's like, when you work out, you have to focus on working out.

Joe Rogan 40:30 Yeah, but that's a good thing to do. I do that when I'm on the elliptical sometimes.

Jim Gaffigan 40:33 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 40:34 I listen to, listen to comedy. I think listening to sets is, uh, one thing that not enough comics do. They record their sets, but they don't listen to them because it's gross and you feel-

Jim Gaffigan 40:43 Oh, it's-

Joe Rogan 40:43 ... it's annoying, you don't wanna hear it.

Jim Gaffigan 40:45 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 40:45 But it's way, the way you learn.

Jim Gaffigan 40:46 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 40:46 And I feel like, I mean, cr- I don't know, I would like to know y- how you feel about this, but-

Jim Gaffigan 40:51 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 40:51 ... I feel like the amount of time that you spend concentrating on your material has a direct result in how good it is and how good it gets quick, especially when you're producing specials so you abandon-

Jim Gaffigan 41:00 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 41:01 ... all your material-

Jim Gaffigan 41:01 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 41:01 ... and then you have to write new stuff. For me, the process is greatly accelerated by physically writing. Physically writing is very important.

Jim Gaffigan 41:07 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 41:08 I devote a lot of time to sit in front of a computer, staring at it, smoking pot, writing things out-

Jim Gaffigan 41:12 Right.

Joe Rogan 41:12 ... looking at notes, writing things out.

Jim Gaffigan 41:14 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 41:14 Performing, those are critical, but also listening. Listening to those recordings and then writing notes on the recordings.

Jim Gaffigan 41:21 Yeah. For me-

Joe Rogan 41:22 It's work.

Jim Gaffigan 41:22 ... the process is... It shifts all the time, right? So there's sometimes you just give birth to a chunk. You go bler, it just comes out.

Joe Rogan 41:31 Yes.

Jim Gaffigan 41:32 And you're like, "Oh my gosh, thank God."

Joe Rogan 41:34 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 41:34 And sometimes it's just like you're chiseling away at granite and it's just bit by bit underneath. But for me, it's doing these longer sets, like doing an hour in 10 minutes. I will... And it's a shift from before. It used to be like I needed the sits, uh, sets in the city to like, uh, build piece by piece, but now I'm kind of... I'll talk about like something that happened, uh, when I was a kid, and then I'll polish it over a long period. 'Cause in an hour show, it's, you know, I believe you have to do A material every time you do a theater, and it has to be new because you want people leaving going, "I'm coming back when it comes back here."

Joe Rogan 42:17 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 42:18 And so... But the writing process, it's, it's always moving for me. Sometimes it is... It's a lot of times like something will bump me and I'll write it down on my phone, and then sometimes I'll write around it or I will, uh, just go on stage and talk a little bit about it.

Joe Rogan 42:34 Are you, um, w- when you d- are doing sets in the city, are you ever doing long sets, like an hour?

Jim Gaffigan 42:41 Not usually, because it's... I mean, my... When I'm in New York, you know, having five kids, it's just...... just the commitment for, like, I'm looking at September and I'm like, "Oh my gosh." Like, the, the curriculum nights alone-

Joe Rogan 42:57 Mm-hmm. Oh, yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 42:58 ... are gonna be insane. And there's gonna be, you know, uh, you know, my daughter's in soccer and there's gonna be all these meetings, and there's just innumerable things. So like-

Joe Rogan 43:09 School assemblies and all that stuff. Ugh.

Jim Gaffigan 43:10 ... school assemblies, you know, like, chatting with the principal who talks about-

Joe Rogan 43:15 Oof.

Jim Gaffigan 43:15 ... their philosophy. And so, like, there's, there's a commitment, but, like, doing the hour, I don't really usually do it in New York, but what I do do is I will... I like to do, uh, I don't know what they're called now, but alt shows in Brooklyn, which is, it'll kind of like, uh, I'll do material that would work in a comedy club, but, like, in a, in Brooklyn in front of, like, a more, I don't know how to describe it, more-

Joe Rogan 43:44 Hipsters?

Jim Gaffigan 43:44 Hipsters or more precious audience.

Joe Rogan 43:46 Precious?

Jim Gaffigan 43:47 Do you know what I mean?

Joe Rogan 43:47 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 43:48 Where, you know, like, when I go on stage in New York City, in Manhattan, I'm a white guy who's, like, fat. When I go on stage in some of these rooms in Brooklyn, I'm a white man. You know what I mean?

Joe Rogan 44:03 Mm-hmm.

Jim Gaffigan 44:03 So it's a different experience, and it's very important to see that because how I characterize things, uh, you know, it's, it's good to, like, be educated on, like, "Oh, you know, all right, maybe that does sound a little picky."

Joe Rogan 44:18 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 44:18 "So I'll pull back."

Joe Rogan 44:20 Right, right, right, yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 44:20 And then I'll go on the road. Like, I used to... Uh, like, a great example is I used to have, back when USA... I'm sure USA Today is still there, but I used to have-

Joe Rogan 44:28 Is it?

Jim Gaffigan 44:28 ... all this material that I developed in, uh, in Brooklyn about the USA Today, how, like, it's just, like, a coloring book. You know what I mean? (laughs) And how it's just kinda like, "Do you like news?" But also pictures of news.

Joe Rogan 44:42 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 44:42 And it was just great, and it would kill in Brooklyn, and it would kill in New York. And then I would go on the road, and people would be like, "What the hell are you talking about? I like the USA Today. That's what I get when I travel." You know what I mean? Or it's got a great sports section. So it's like there's so much value in traveling around with material 'cause you gain different perspectives.

Joe Rogan 44:59 Oh, sure. The road is so critical for that.

Jim Gaffigan 45:01 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 45:02 You get a sense of how people... And especially when you do in clubs.

Jim Gaffigan 45:04 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 45:04 I found that the road, when you're doing clubs, you really get a sense of, like, the feel of a city, whether it's Cleveland or Columbus.

Jim Gaffigan 45:10 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 45:11 Or, yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 45:11 I mean, I love the fact even, you know, how, uh, you know, doing, uh, talking about... You know, I make a point of not doing too much material on having, uh, five kids, but, like, I'll do... Like, if I talk about having five kids in New York City, uh, in, at a show in New York City, people are like, "You're crazy." And then if I talk about having five kids in Boston, uh, and I'm generalizing, people in Boston might be like, "You're crazy. I came from one of those families." And if I do it in Utah, people would be like, "Yeah, we are crazy for having five kids." So it is the same joke, and it's the same point of view, but it's tweaked a little bit.

Joe Rogan 45:53 Mm-hmm.

Jim Gaffigan 45:54 And it's so fun kind of traveling around and learning that material, and learning the impact and how it's digested.

Joe Rogan 46:02 Well, comics have a unique perspective on America because of that, because we don't just go to these different places, but we also perform material-

Jim Gaffigan 46:09 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 46:10 ... in all these different places. So I think, like, we've... I've been talking a lot with comics lately about, like, "What was your reaction to Trump winning the election?" Comics saw it coming more than-

Jim Gaffigan 46:21 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 46:21 ... most people who live in LA, 'cause most people who live in LA are very liberal-

Jim Gaffigan 46:25 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 46:25 ... very left-wing, convinced that, you know, this is... Even it did- didn't matter who you voted for, Hillary was gonna win California no matter what.

Jim Gaffigan 46:31 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 46:31 Like, we were... Th- this was a pro-

Jim Gaffigan 46:34 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 46:34 ... Democrat state, and when Trump won, I, I ran into people that were shell-shocked. They couldn't-

Jim Gaffigan 46:40 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 46:40 ... fucking imagine.

Jim Gaffigan 46:42 I mean, I think, uh, I mean, I was surprised.

Joe Rogan 46:44 Were you, man?

Jim Gaffigan 46:44 I was def- I was definitely surprised. But that being said, I wasn't surprised by, um, the, uh, the logic behind some of the people that voted for Trump last time that are sheepish to admit it now.

Joe Rogan 47:02 Yes.

Jim Gaffigan 47:03 Um, I understood some of that logic, but I thought it was fascinating 'cause there was a time for me... 'Cause I tour with, uh, Ted Alexander a lot, and he's like an o-

Joe Rogan 47:13 I love Ted.

Jim Gaffigan 47:14 He's like, he's like an Occupy Wall Street guy. Like, he's, like, uh, very, uh, progressive. And we would tour, and he would have... During the election, he would have some material on Hillary and some material on Trump, and it worked everywhere. It worked in Texas, worked in Tennessee, which I think is the most conservative place-

Joe Rogan 47:32 Tennessee.

Jim Gaffigan 47:33 ... outside of Nashville. And, and so it would work everywhere. And then the election happened, and that same material... And it wasn't just the context of the, uh, post-election. It was... I c- I describe it as people looking at the ceiling, is that people didn't wanna hear it. An- and I think some of it is people were like, "We deal with this all day. We need a break from it." But it was both sides.

Joe Rogan 48:00 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 48:01 So, like, Trump voters were more emboldened, kind of like, "That's right!"

Joe Rogan 48:05 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 48:05 And then also the left, people were like, "Please."

Joe Rogan 48:09 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 48:09 "Can I... I just wanna hear Jim talk about horses for 10 minutes." Do you know what I mean?

Joe Rogan 48:14 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 48:15 And so there is something fascinating that occurs, and there's also something fascinating about international shows because when Bush was, when W was president, there were much more people coming up to me, going, "How dare he s- you know, start the Iraq War?" And with, uh, with Trump, they're like, "Yeah, you probably didn't have th- anything to do with that."

Joe Rogan 48:37 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 48:37 Yeah, I would say that's-

Joe Rogan 48:38 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 48:38 ... my takeaway.

Joe Rogan 48:40 Ugh, yeah, it's, uh, people are definitely fatigued. I think we have-

Jim Gaffigan 48:44 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 48:44 ... we have political discourse fatigue.

Jim Gaffigan 48:47 It's never-ending.

Joe Rogan 48:48 Never-ending. And it, if it's... How much of y- uh, is your life? If you really stop and think about it, if you're alive for 75, 85 years on this planet, and most of your waking time interacting with people is discussing politics, how much of it actually does affect your life other than those conversations? Those conversations...... it's a, a, a giant part of a lot of people's anxiety-

Jim Gaffigan 49:11 Oh.

Joe Rogan 49:11 ... a giant part of the argu- But the real life, like getting up in the morning, fixing breakfast for your kids-

Jim Gaffigan 49:16 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 49:17 ... taking them to school. How much does fucking Trump play a part in any of that? Not that much.

Jim Gaffigan 49:20 Well, yeah, I did, I did a CBS, uh, Sunday commentary on how all conversations lead to Trump. Like, it's just-

Joe Rogan 49:28 (laughs) .

Jim Gaffigan 49:28 ... every conversation eventually gets to, "And then Trump did something like that." But it is... I- I was also thinking, like, 'cause we, we live in this very precarious time, and, uh, you know, a very divided country on a lot of different levels. And there's so much drama, and there's, you know, uh, you know, environmental disaster impending. And, uh, and again, to my point of like, is we finally figured it out, this is the most dramatic period. But compared to World War II?

Joe Rogan 50:01 No.

Jim Gaffigan 50:01 This is nothing.

Joe Rogan 50:02 Nothing. Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 50:03 This is nothing. I was in Central Europe. What the... Like, human beings, like we, I, you know, you know, and we were going around this, uh, Terezin, this place outside of Prague where they stuck all the Jewish people. And with my children, and my children who, like, just wanna play on iPads, were just mesmerized. They're like, "What?" And- and the takeaway was not, "Oh, the Germans are bad and Nazis are bad." The takeaway is, "Oh, humans are crazy." Like, it's just a matter of months that these same people that were your neighbors, that you would go to their kids' birthday parties, you were waving goodbye to, because you got their apartment. And I'm like, "Oh." Like, it was terrifying. Like, human beings, it's very easy for us to go, "Yeah, it was the Germans. It was the Germans that did that." You know? "It was the Lithuanians who did it." But it wasn't. It was human beings that were, like, manipulated like that.

Joe Rogan 51:04 Yeah, if we catch the wrong leader.

Jim Gaffigan 51:06 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 51:06 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 51:07 Like, we're-

Joe Rogan 51:07 That- that right next to you, that's, that is a World War II helmet. That's a legitimate World War II helmet and a bayonet.

Jim Gaffigan 51:12 Wow.

Joe Rogan 51:13 That, uh, it's a good reminder. It's filled with little holes and shit. There's apparently places in Europe where you can find thousands of those things just l- scattered out there. You know, there's areas in France that are w- impossible for people to go to, because there's so many rounds that have been shot into the- the ground there, and so much toxic chemicals and stuff from World War II, that to this day, they- they don't want people traveling to it. I mean, it's an enormous size, the size of Paris. It's in France.

Jim Gaffigan 51:44 Really?

Joe Rogan 51:44 Yeah. See if you can find that. Um-

Jim Gaffigan 51:46 That's amazing. Like, there's also-

Joe Rogan 51:47 To this day, from the '40s.

Jim Gaffigan 51:49 So like, when I was in Prague, and, you know, you go on these tours, and the punishment, like, they would just be like... And- and this, I also learned this in Greece, they'd be like, they'd be like, uh, "Okay, so as punishment, we are gonna murder an entire village. So we're gonna..." And you're like, "What?" And by the way, again, we can characterize this, this of- 'cause on the internet everyone's gonna be like, "Gaffigan was defending Nazis." That's not my point at all. Is just that human beings... Like, it wasn't that long ago-

Joe Rogan 52:21 Yeah. Right.

Jim Gaffigan 52:21 ... when like, rape and pillage was the go-to tactic. It's like, "All right, we'll conquer, then we'll rape and pillage." You know there were some guys that were like, "You know what? Can I just pillage? I just, you know, I got a girlfriend now, and I don't really feel like raping."

Joe Rogan 52:34 (laughs) Well, we were talking about Kurdistan the other day, that to this day 20% of all marriages begin in kidnapping.

Jim Gaffigan 52:41 What?

Joe Rogan 52:42 Yes, 20%. So one out of five marriages started with the groom kidnapping the bride. Like, that's how they had to get married, because he raped her. So in order for her to be pure-

Jim Gaffigan 52:57 So it's romantic.

Joe Rogan 52:58 It's fucking craziness.

Jim Gaffigan 52:59 That's unbelievable.

Joe Rogan 53:00 It's fucking crazy. Here it is. The Red Zone in France is so dangerous that 100 years after World War II it's still a no-go area. There's all sorts of rounds and munitions, and- and there's all sorts of... I mean, there's so many rockets were fired into this area that this shit is still in- in the soil and everyone.

Jim Gaffigan 53:20 Why... You know, this also brings up a- a separate point. Why- why is this surpris- Like, what- humans also have a really- a- a real short-term memory problem.

Joe Rogan 53:31 Mm-hmm.

Jim Gaffigan 53:31 Like, we don't remember things.

Joe Rogan 53:34 Right.

Jim Gaffigan 53:34 Like, I don't think people really, uh, appreciate, you know, that World War II was like 70 years ago.

Joe Rogan 53:41 Right.

Jim Gaffigan 53:42 Like, it was not that long ago.

Joe Rogan 53:43 Right.

Jim Gaffigan 53:44 Like, even the, you know, like Serbia, I was in Dubrovnik, and they're like, "Yeah, up there the Montenegrins used to shoot at us. Ah, those guys. You know, now we go to their bar." And you're like, "What?" Like, that was the '90s.

Joe Rogan 53:56 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 53:57 It's just- it's just terrifying.

Joe Rogan 54:00 It's- it's hard to believe, but if you're in the wrong place in history at the wrong time... Like right now if you were in Libya. If you were in-

Jim Gaffigan 54:08 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 54:08 ... Libya right now-

Jim Gaffigan 54:09 Or Syria.

Joe Rogan 54:10 Yeah. Well, Libya's a failed state. I mean, Syria's horrible, you got Assad running it, but Libya is no one running it. Libya, they're selling slaves on YouTube. I mean, you can watch slave auctions in real time right now. It's a terrifying, terrifying place. And it's because they killed, uh, Moammar Gaddafi, and then the rebels took over, and then it became a felt- a failed state. It's chaos. And this is right now in 2019. If you were unfortunate enough to be born in Libya, you are stuck there right now, and you're living in hell. You're not living in Manhattan in 2019 where it's wonderful. Jim Gaffigan can hop on over to Gotham-

Jim Gaffigan 54:45 Yeah. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 54:45 ... and say hi to Jerry Seinfeld, do a set-

Jim Gaffigan 54:47 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 54:47 ... and have a meatball sub and-

Jim Gaffigan 54:49 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 54:49 ... you know, do whatever the fuck you want. No, you're living in a chaos-filled environment where bar- barbarians are running the show.

Jim Gaffigan 54:57 That's crazy.

Joe Rogan 54:57 And this can happen. This can happen. And this is one of the reasons why our democracy is so important. It's one of the reasons why compassion is so important, and kindness, and talking to people. And it's also important to look at things objectively and label things based on, uh, compassion and- and looking at things in- in- in an intelligent, non-biased way, so you can really get a sense of what the landscape really is. If you're l- you know, if you're- everybody's a fucking Nazi and everybody's terrible-

Jim Gaffigan 55:22 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 55:22 ... and white privilege this, white privilege that, everyone's a criminal, everyone's bad. No, no, no.

Jim Gaffigan 55:26 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 55:26 There's real-... crime in the world. There's real terror and real awful things.

Jim Gaffigan 55:30 Right.

Joe Rogan 55:31 We have more unity, we have more in common then, then we promote.

Jim Gaffigan 55:34 You know what I think is ... An- and I think this is also a reflection of the success of comedians' podcasts, is that w- what people don't realize is that comedians really appreciate a different point of view. We actually, uh, like f- we have friends that, like, we don't agree with. In fact, we almost find it entertaining. Like, "Let's talk to this friend because I know I disagree with him." And we can have that banter, and I think that particularly in this, uh, cancel culture, there is ... And so, like, you get these comedians, like you, hosting these podcasts, having these discussions, and, and comedians have kinda like the, uh, boldness to step in it and say, "Hey, I don't know about that. Tell me about that." Whereas, like s- from a societal basis, there's like, "Don't question. Don't question, uh, why w- we're pursuing this, because if you question it, that means you're not a true believer, and we're-"

Joe Rogan 56:36 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 56:36 "... looking for true believers." Whereas ... And by the wa- it's, it's just interesting because, uh, I think ... You know, I have a friend, Tom Shillue, who I love, who's, who has a show on, uh, on Fox, uh, Nation. And it is weird, 'cause like six years ago, and I did this interview and I talked about it, and, and I could see the interviewer go, "Y- you're friends with someone that works at Fox?" And I'm like, "Yeah." You know? It's like, it's okay.

Joe Rogan 57:08 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 57:08 It's okay. He's not a monster.

Joe Rogan 57:10 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 57:11 He's not killing, you know, he's not putting children in cages. He's-

Joe Rogan 57:15 I'm good friends with Steve Hilton. He has a show on Fox. He interviewed Trump. Uh, my family and his family-

Jim Gaffigan 57:21 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 57:21 ... go on vacations together. Nice guy.

Jim Gaffigan 57:23 And it's like, why ... Like, uh, it's, it's, it's this strange thing where I'm like, I can understand how important these beliefs are, and I can understand how threatening, um, democracy is, and I can understand how we have to face our history and, and all these things. But it's like, the discourse has to remain-

Joe Rogan 57:49 Yes.

Jim Gaffigan 57:49 ... doesn't it?

Joe Rogan 57:50 Yes. We have to be able to talk to each other, and I think that's one of the things that kinda died with the Trump election. People were like, "You're with us or against us." You're either for him or y- or you're f- for the future and compassion and, and, and-

Jim Gaffigan 58:02 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 58:03 ... caring about everyone, or you're a monster. And there's no, there's no discussion about finances, or the best way to run the economy-

Jim Gaffigan 58:13 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 58:13 ... or international trade. No, no, no, no, no. You're, you're with the good or the bad. (banging on desk) You're binary. It's one or zero. You're black or white. You're one or zero.

Jim Gaffigan 58:21 And it, that is the same thing that they criticized about W-

Joe Rogan 58:25 Mm-hmm.

Jim Gaffigan 58:26 ... saying, "You're either with us or against us."

Joe Rogan 58:28 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 58:28 Which, by the way, being a father of daughters, you know is also a line from Beauty and the Beast.

Joe Rogan 58:34 Yeah. (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 58:36 Right? (laughs)

Joe Rogan 58:36 Yeah, but it is, it's-

Jim Gaffigan 58:38 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 58:38 ... tr- and appropriately so, right? It's like very childlike. Like that, that perspective is very childlike. There's a lotta people that are conservative that are very good people.

Jim Gaffigan 58:46 Absolutely.

Joe Rogan 58:47 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 58:47 That's ... I, I ... You know, here's another thing that I find very frustrating. I feel as though I'm someti- ... And sometimes I'll get, um, messages on social media, and they'll be like, "You know that some of the people that like your comedy are Trump supporters." And I'm like, "I hope so. I, I hope that I appeal to a lot of different people." Uh, you know, I ... It's, it's a very strange ... Look, I remember the success I had, and I'm so grateful for the success that I've had, uh, on Beyond the Pale. I remember, like, I came back to New York after I had done this tour, and you don't know with standup. You don't know how long it's gonna last. You don't know what's going on. And I came back, and I remember someone reading an article, maybe it was in Time Out New York, and they're like, "He's very mainstream. Mainstream." And, and there was recently a New York Times article, "He's very conventional." And I'm like, "What is that ... Do you mean, like, conventional in that people want to go and see me perform?"

Joe Rogan 59:50 Like a lot of people like you.

Jim Gaffigan 59:51 Like that's, like that's a crime?

Joe Rogan 59:53 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 59:54 Like that's ... He's, you know ... Uh, you know, it's like, it's so ... We live in this age where ... Like, there used to be comedians, and I think it's inhibited some people's success, where, like, if it's ... Like Bill Burr, one of the best comedians today, and I think people are ... Sometimes people in the media are like, "You know, uh, the wrong people might like his material." And you're like, "That doesn't-"

Joe Rogan 1:00:20 The wrong people.

Jim Gaffigan 1:00:20 Do you hear what I'm saying?

Joe Rogan 1:00:21 Yes, I do now.

Jim Gaffigan 1:00:21 Maybe I'm being paranoid, but I'm like-

Joe Rogan 1:00:23 No, I get that from this podcast.

Jim Gaffigan 1:00:25 It's, it's a very strange ... It's, it's, it's almost kind of a, uh ... You know, and I, and I don't know if I've talked about this, but, like, I ... You know, like, there's this cultural revolution that is occurring that is ... It's well intended, but it's almost, it's almost puritanical. And it ... And by the way, I'm not somebody ... Uh, I'm against any form of censorship, but I'm also somebody that believes that if we can articulate, uh, transgender terms that make people that are transgender feel comfortable, there's, there's nothing wrong with that. We can adjust our language. We do it all the time. But I do think that there is kinda this almost puritanical thing that's ironically happening on the left that is what we, uh, uh, you know, as comedians, we used to make fun of the right for. Does that make sense?

Joe Rogan 1:01:20 Yes, 100%.

Jim Gaffigan 1:01:20 It's a very strange kind of like, "Wait, you guys are doing what you accuse these guys of doing forever."

Joe Rogan 1:01:28 ... but they don't see it that way because they feel like they're right. And if you're right, then it doesn't matter if you're a zealot.

Jim Gaffigan 1:01:32 And I do think it's well-intended.

Joe Rogan 1:01:34 Yes.

Jim Gaffigan 1:01:34 I do think it's well-intended. I don't question someone's motives. Like, I don't think that, like ... I remember, and I'm gonna get blowback on this. Like, I don't think that W, uh, w- had malicious intent. I think he was well-intended. You know, he failed at things, but I think he was well-intended.

Joe Rogan 1:01:51 I think that's probably a logical perspective, and I think Dick Cheney's probably Satan.

Jim Gaffigan 1:01:55 You think so?

Joe Rogan 1:01:56 I think Dick Cheney was running, running the show-

Jim Gaffigan 1:01:57 (laughs) I mean-

Joe Rogan 1:01:58 ... straight from hell. That's why he had that bunker deep, deep down under the-

Jim Gaffigan 1:02:01 But I think that bunker existed.

Joe Rogan 1:02:02 He was right next to hell.

Jim Gaffigan 1:02:03 It wasn't like he was like ... It's not like he was like, "I need a bunker."

Joe Rogan 1:02:06 He had a straight shot, straight to hell. That's what it was. There was a elevator-

Jim Gaffigan 1:02:10 It was down there. That's how it was heated.

Joe Rogan 1:02:12 Yeah, that's why it was so warm. That's what he would ... Remember when he was in the bunker after 9/11? There was like, Dick Cheney's in a bunker. How come George Bush is playing golf? W's out there with like-

Jim Gaffigan 1:02:20 Well, because he was in DC.

Joe Rogan 1:02:21 ... a big target on his forehead. Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 1:02:23 He was in DC, and there was a separation of ...

Joe Rogan 1:02:27 Of powers.

Jim Gaffigan 1:02:27 I don't know. And then we all saw-

Joe Rogan 1:02:28 The high of Dick Cheney.

Jim Gaffigan 1:02:29 ... that Adam McKay movie. You're like, "How much is that true?"

Joe Rogan 1:02:31 I know, right?

Jim Gaffigan 1:02:32 Um-

Joe Rogan 1:02:32 How much is that true?

Jim Gaffigan 1:02:33 Imagine the power to ... Because Dick Cheney, like I, I, you know, I also doubt everything. I always qu- you know, like, everything I, I hear about, I'm kinda like, cut it in half, which makes me kind of still think Trump is-

Joe Rogan 1:02:49 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 1:02:50 ... absolutely crazy.

Joe Rogan 1:02:51 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 1:02:52 But, but like, you know, Dick Cheney, is there ... Like, is he ... Is h- And I don't think he cares, but like, there's no, uh, th- like, uh, w- uh, the, the narrative has been set for him.

Joe Rogan 1:03:07 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 1:03:08 There's no kind of like, "You're not gonna believe this, but Dick Cheney is like, one of the funniest storytellers." Like, that's, there's noth-

Joe Rogan 1:03:16 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 1:03:16 There's no changing the narrative of-

Joe Rogan 1:03:19 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 1:03:19 ... Dick Cheney.

Joe Rogan 1:03:19 Right, like George W's painting. And he does a lot of painting. And it's-

Jim Gaffigan 1:03:23 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:03:23 ... his pa- his painting is kinda lovely. It's like, it's cute, sweet stuff.

Jim Gaffigan 1:03:26 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:03:26 It's like, it shows you where his mind is at, that this is where he chooses to spend his time.

Jim Gaffigan 1:03:29 But Katrina, he didn't go there right away.

Joe Rogan 1:03:32 Well, he hates-

Jim Gaffigan 1:03:32 Excuse me.

Joe Rogan 1:03:33 ... black people, according to Kanye West.

Jim Gaffigan 1:03:34 Right.

Joe Rogan 1:03:34 Uh, but, uh, Dick Cheney i- w- is a t- completely different animal. Like, he shot his friend in the face, and his friend apologized. You understand that?

Jim Gaffigan 1:03:43 Yeah, but he didn't do it um ... He obviously didn't do it on purpose.

Joe Rogan 1:03:46 Well, he was probably drunk, and then he disappeared for 24 hours. Do you know that? He didn't im- immediately turn himself in. He waited twen-

Jim Gaffigan 1:03:53 Oh, really?

Joe Rogan 1:03:53 Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was most likely drinking. They, they, they were doing what's called a canned hunt, where they open up these gates and they let these birds fly out and they just start blasting 'em. And he shot his friend.

Jim Gaffigan 1:04:04 But it was, it could've been a mistake.

Joe Rogan 1:04:05 It was a mistake. But he probably-

Jim Gaffigan 1:04:07 I'm like-

Joe Rogan 1:04:07 ... hammered.

Jim Gaffigan 1:04:07 I'm known as the Dick Cheney apologist.

Joe Rogan 1:04:09 Oh, nice.

Jim Gaffigan 1:04:10 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:04:11 So explain this Halliburton. So he was the CEO of Halliburton.

Jim Gaffigan 1:04:14 Yes.

Joe Rogan 1:04:14 He leaves Halliburton and then he ge- he becomes the vice president, and then he gives Halliburton these no-bid contracts to rebuild Iraq after they blew it up. So explain that, as a, as a b- apologist.

Jim Gaffigan 1:04:25 Um, you know, th- uh, I would say one, uh, no-bid contracts happen often.

Joe Rogan 1:04:31 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 1:04:31 Uh, that's what I've heard.

Joe Rogan 1:04:32 How can you chew another one of those? My heart is pounding out of my chest with wonder.

Jim Gaffigan 1:04:35 Because I'm a real man.

Joe Rogan 1:04:36 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 1:04:36 I'm more manly than you.

Narrator 1:04:38 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 1:04:39 You know, like, you're-

Joe Rogan 1:04:39 How many of those do you chew down in a day?

Jim Gaffigan 1:04:40 I'm a real type A. I'm a real, like, I get up. I do ... What are those bells that you kinda sound-

Joe Rogan 1:04:45 Kettlebells?

Jim Gaffigan 1:04:46 Kettlebells. I ... You know what? I eat a bowl of those for cereal.

Joe Rogan 1:04:49 Mm, nice.

Jim Gaffigan 1:04:50 When you're a man like me, that's what I do. I put CBD oil on my knees and then I just lift-

Joe Rogan 1:04:56 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 1:04:56 (laughs) ... I lift bulldozers.

Joe Rogan 1:04:58 Nice.

Jim Gaffigan 1:04:58 That's what I do for breakfast.

Joe Rogan 1:05:00 Wow.

Jim Gaffigan 1:05:00 Then I jog up mountains and just yell. And then I just come home and I just eat elk meat.

Joe Rogan 1:05:06 Mm.

Jim Gaffigan 1:05:06 But you know, unlike you, I don't cook it. I just eat the elk when it's alive.

Joe Rogan 1:05:09 You can do it raw. Sometimes it's better to cook though. You get-

Jim Gaffigan 1:05:11 What does elk meat taste like?

Joe Rogan 1:05:13 You want some?

Jim Gaffigan 1:05:13 Not really.

Joe Rogan 1:05:14 I wish, I wish he were around here. I'd give you some.

Jim Gaffigan 1:05:15 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:05:15 Not really? You don't care?

Jim Gaffigan 1:05:16 I mean, I would-

Joe Rogan 1:05:17 If I had a kitchen here, if I had a kitchen here-

Jim Gaffigan 1:05:18 Is it-

Joe Rogan 1:05:18 ... and I cooked some, would you eat some?

Jim Gaffigan 1:05:20 I'm sup- We're at this compound. You, you have this huge place. You got a horse track in the back. You don't have a kitchen here?

Joe Rogan 1:05:26 I'm going to e- open up a kitchen here. Seriously.

Jim Gaffigan 1:05:28 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:05:28 I'm actually, I'm gonna, I'm thinking about putting together a restaurant.

Jim Gaffigan 1:05:32 So the-

Joe Rogan 1:05:32 And having friends come over and eat here.

Jim Gaffigan 1:05:32 ... elk thing, what makes ... Maybe you've talked about this and I haven't heard the episode. But elk meat, is that good? Or it's just-

Joe Rogan 1:05:39 Fantastic. Yeah, it's a wild animal. It's wild. It's wi-

Jim Gaffigan 1:05:42 But does it taste like deer?

Joe Rogan 1:05:44 It tastes better than deer.

Jim Gaffigan 1:05:46 You don't like veni- Well, venison-

Joe Rogan 1:05:46 'Cause it-

Jim Gaffigan 1:05:46 ... you're like, "Oh, this is good," you know, if I have really strong mustard and I'm not hungry.

Joe Rogan 1:05:51 No, man. It's just prepared poorly.

Jim Gaffigan 1:05:53 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:05:53 Venison's delicious. It's, it's, all of it is how the meat is taken care of after the animal dies, whether it's cooled quickly, and how it's processed. That's all it is, how it, how it's cleaned, how it's cut up, how it's vacuum-sealed and frozen, uh, almost immediately after the animal dies, how you don't let in the glands. Like, they have tarsal glands that they can get ... They, they have hormones. Like, a lot of times-

Jim Gaffigan 1:06:13 Right.

Joe Rogan 1:06:13 ... when you're shooting these animals, it's during the rut. So they're, they're breeding, and this is when-

Jim Gaffigan 1:06:18 Oh.

Joe Rogan 1:06:18 ... this is when they have-

Jim Gaffigan 1:06:19 So you're ... Okay.

Joe Rogan 1:06:20 They get these hormones. And these tarsal glands, they put the- And you can get it on the meat.

Jim Gaffigan 1:06:24 Why don't we eat more elk? Why don't we eat more elk?

Joe Rogan 1:06:26 'Cause it's a wild animal. It's an illegal animal to sell. You have to go out and hunt them.

Jim Gaffigan 1:06:30 Yeah, but why doesn't someone just start an elk farm?

Joe Rogan 1:06:33 Because it's, it's just-

Jim Gaffigan 1:06:34 Or an elk ranch.

Joe Rogan 1:06:35 We look down on those ... Well, there's a lot of f- there's a lot of factors there. First of all, you can buy elk-

Jim Gaffigan 1:06:40 It's the meat lobby.

Joe Rogan 1:06:41 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 1:06:41 No.

Joe Rogan 1:06:41 No, no, no.

Jim Gaffigan 1:06:42 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:06:42 You can buy it from Z- New Zealand.

Jim Gaffigan 1:06:44 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:06:44 New Zealand sells a lot of it. And I think-

Jim Gaffigan 1:06:46 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:06:46 ... there's some places where you can buy commercially raised, uh, elk in North America. I'm not exactly sure if that's the case. But it's illegal to sell wild game. And there's a difference between an animal that's been penned in and force-fed and just, you know, big bales of hay and whatever the hell you-

Jim Gaffigan 1:07:02 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:07:02 ... or a wild animal.

Jim Gaffigan 1:07:03 Newspaper.

Joe Rogan 1:07:04 Yeah. I'm, I'm interested in wild animals, because I think wild animals are healthier. Also, I think the, the karma of what you're doing is very different. You're just going after a wild animal that's in the rut. And they wind up killing each other. They get killed by mountain lions and wolves and bears.

Jim Gaffigan 1:07:19 Right.

Joe Rogan 1:07:19 And y- what I'm doing is I'm dipping my toe into the natural world. And I'm-

Jim Gaffigan 1:07:23 It's the circle of life.

Joe Rogan 1:07:24 I'm going after them the way a-

Jim Gaffigan 1:07:26 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:07:26 ... a mountain lion would go after them, just using a bow and arrow. And I'm getting them and I'm bringing them back. And then I eat that one animal a whole, for a whole year. I'll feed my family. You know Tom Papa.

Jim Gaffigan 1:07:36 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:07:36 Tom Papa is a, a giant consumer of my elk.

Jim Gaffigan 1:07:37 And then he makes bread out of it?

Joe Rogan 1:07:39 He eats it with bread.

Jim Gaffigan 1:07:40 Papa makes bread out of ... Uh- (laughs) It's like, you and Papa. Like, at your restaurant-

Joe Rogan 1:07:45 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 1:07:45 ... you have to have Papa do the bread, right?

Joe Rogan 1:07:46 Oh, for sure. Yeah, he'll be the bread man. Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 1:07:48 And then, like-

Joe Rogan 1:07:48 His bread's only good for four days, though.

Jim Gaffigan 1:07:49 ... Doug Benson could sell the weed, and then-

Joe Rogan 1:07:51 Anybody could sell the weed today.

Jim Gaffigan 1:07:52 Right. I guess anyone could today.

Joe Rogan 1:07:54 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 1:07:55 But, uh, but like, you love elk.

Joe Rogan 1:07:57 Yes.

Jim Gaffigan 1:07:57 You wake up and you're like, "You know what? I want elk."

Joe Rogan 1:07:59 I had it this morning for breakfast.

Jim Gaffigan 1:08:01 Now, do you think ... Well, who doesn't have elk for breakfast? Did you have the elk serear?

Joe Rogan 1:08:04 I had sausage.

Jim Gaffigan 1:08:05 You had elk sausage?

Joe Rogan 1:08:06 I had elk sausage for breakfast. Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 1:08:07 And do you make your own elk sausage?

Joe Rogan 1:08:09 No. I get that made. I get it made by a butcher that I know.

Jim Gaffigan 1:08:11 And so, do you think that when I come back... 'Cause I do this podcast every six years.

Joe Rogan 1:08:17 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 1:08:18 Do you think when I come back-

Joe Rogan 1:08:19 You can do it as-

Jim Gaffigan 1:08:20 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:08:20 ... v- often as you want.

Jim Gaffigan 1:08:21 Oh. Well, thank you.

Joe Rogan 1:08:21 We w- s- we just didn't have the right phone numbers for each other.

Jim Gaffigan 1:08:23 Do you think that we will ... That, uh, what is the, um ... What is the ... Do you think that elk is the new kale? That you are gonna ... that we're gonna track it back?

Joe Rogan 1:08:35 It's too hard to do. To, to go out and get it yourself is very difficult. You have to be like, really committed to learning how to hunt, and then to be fit enough to climb the mountains. And then, lucky enough-

Jim Gaffigan 1:08:46 And then, what? Do you drag it back?

Joe Rogan 1:08:48 You have to carry it out in chunks. Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 1:08:50 You chop it up-

Joe Rogan 1:08:51 Uh-huh.

Jim Gaffigan 1:08:51 ... and then you carry it out in chunks?

Joe Rogan 1:08:52 You, you quarter it, meaning you take the legs off, and you take the back straps, which is-

Jim Gaffigan 1:08:56 You know that there's like, grocery stores, right?

Joe Rogan 1:08:58 But they're not to serve elk. And-

Jim Gaffigan 1:09:00 And s-

Joe Rogan 1:09:00 ... it's a different experience. I know you're saying it as just a joke.

Jim Gaffigan 1:09:01 Why wouldn't you j- ... Why wouldn't someone listening to this start an elk ranch? And so, that they can sell-

Joe Rogan 1:09:07 I don't think it's legal.

Jim Gaffigan 1:09:08 It's not legal?

Joe Rogan 1:09:09 No. It's not legal to sell wild game. And, and there's a reason for that. It's ... And also, when you have these farms, there are farms that raise deer and some other animals, there's a real problem with, uh, chronic wasting disease, and, and certain diseases that get easily spread when all these animals are eating off of the same food source. So, if they have like, a bin where they're all eating out of, and they share saliva-

Jim Gaffigan 1:09:29 Right.

Joe Rogan 1:09:29 ... it actually contributes to the contamination of certain diseases. And there's a real problem in this country with something called CWD, which is chronic wasting disease. And-

Jim Gaffigan 1:09:38 Oh, wow.

Joe Rogan 1:09:38 ... it's the same exact thing of, as, uh, mad cow disease. It just hasn't jumped over to other animals. It jumped over to mice, but it hasn't jumped over to humans. But if it did jump over to humans, it would be a gigantic fucking problem, and part of that problem, they believe, stems from farms, from farms that are raising deer. It's very controversial.

Jim Gaffigan 1:09:58 Ah. Really?

Joe Rogan 1:09:58 I mean, there's people that oppose it pro and con.

Jim Gaffigan 1:09:58 And so, where do you ... Where do you go to hunt elk? 'Cause we're-

Joe Rogan 1:10:02 Utah is a big one that I go to.

Jim Gaffigan 1:10:02 It may be as ... It might be different from where I hunt elk.

Joe Rogan 1:10:05 I go to Utah every year. You can go to Colorado is a great place to hunt elk.

Jim Gaffigan 1:10:08 Colorado.

Joe Rogan 1:10:08 Montana is a great place to hunt elk.

Jim Gaffigan 1:10:10 That's a great-

Joe Rogan 1:10:10 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 1:10:11 ... elk hunting area.

Joe Rogan 1:10:12 Yeah. Just gotta go into the ... You're joking around.

Jim Gaffigan 1:10:13 What-

Joe Rogan 1:10:14 You should come with me.

Jim Gaffigan 1:10:15 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:10:15 You'd freak the fuck out.

Jim Gaffigan 1:10:15 Are you kidding?

Joe Rogan 1:10:16 You sh- you'd freak out.

Jim Gaffigan 1:10:16 Are you kidding? Man, I would, I would, uh, un- unlike you, I wouldn't quarter it. I'd just drag it back.

Joe Rogan 1:10:21 Just throw it over your back.

Jim Gaffigan 1:10:21 'Cause I'm strong enough. I'd ... And then, put some kettle bells on it.

Joe Rogan 1:10:24 Just stick your dick in there-

Jim Gaffigan 1:10:25 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:10:25 ... and just carry it out like a condom.

Jim Gaffigan 1:10:27 You just sit ... And so, they're big animals.

Joe Rogan 1:10:29 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 1:10:29 So like, if they ... If you missed, will they charge you?

Joe Rogan 1:10:33 Elk, most of the time, won't do that. But a moose certainly would. Moose are dangerous.

Jim Gaffigan 1:10:37 Yeah. Moose are nasty, right?

Joe Rogan 1:10:38 They fuck you up. That's a elk right there.

Jim Gaffigan 1:10:41 There you go.

Joe Rogan 1:10:41 Yeah. I shot that one in, uh, Central California.

Jim Gaffigan 1:10:45 And so, how do you get that on an airplane?

Joe Rogan 1:10:47 Well, you have to, uh, quarter it up, chop it up into portions, freeze it, and then stick it in like, a Yeti cooler. And then, I'll seal the Yeti cooler, and you have to bring it through customs, and then they have to, uh, they have to look at it. Not customs, but, uh, TSA. They have to open it up and check it, inspect it, make sure it's just frozen meat.

Jim Gaffigan 1:11:06 Make sure it's not a human.

Joe Rogan 1:11:06 Yes.

Jim Gaffigan 1:11:07 Not a human.

Joe Rogan 1:11:07 Yeah. And then they, uh, they wouldn't even really wouldn't know if it was a human.

Jim Gaffigan 1:11:11 Right.

Joe Rogan 1:11:11 As long as you package it. You could say it's wild pig or something like that.

Jim Gaffigan 1:11:13 Idea.

Joe Rogan 1:11:14 Holler.

Jim Gaffigan 1:11:15 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:11:16 And then, you, uh-

Jim Gaffigan 1:11:16 And so, what is that thing there?

Joe Rogan 1:11:18 That is for my friend, Adam Greentree. That