Joe Rogan Experience #1336 - Legion of Skanks

Luis J. Gomez 0:00 I, I rarely watch the event live.

Joe Rogan 0:03 Hello, skanks.

Luis J. Gomez 0:04 What's up?

Dave Smith 0:04 Hello.

Joe Rogan 0:05 We're live. This is sort of-

Dave Smith 0:06 Hell yeah.

Joe Rogan 0:07 ... we're, we're recorded.

Dave Smith 0:08 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 0:09 Good to see you boys.

Luis J. Gomez 0:10 What's up, doggy?

Joe Rogan 0:10 Good to see you too, talking. Things got strange as soon as I said we're live. Everybody's like, "Oh."

Luis J. Gomez 0:13 Oh man, we were having a great conversation.

Joe Rogan 0:15 People are listening? (laughs)

Dave Smith 0:15 Right now?

Joe Rogan 0:15 We're a little too high right now.

Dave Smith 0:17 (laughs) People are listening to what?

Joe Rogan 0:17 That goddamn Mike Tyson weed. That Mike Tyson-

Luis J. Gomez 0:19 We really were just having the most natural conversation.

Joe Rogan 0:21 Yep.

Luis J. Gomez 0:21 Everyone was going back and forth, nothing-

Joe Rogan 0:23 And then (screech) yeah.

Dave Smith 0:25 Mike Tyson, we were talking when you went to the bathroom, Mike Tyson says he smokes $40,000 a wheel-

Luis J. Gomez 0:31 Yeah, but-

Dave Smith 0:32 ... a, a, a week?

Joe Rogan 0:32 But he also sells weed, so he just charges it, himself, a lot of money.

Dave Smith 0:37 (laughs) He can buy his own supply?

Luis J. Gomez 0:38 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 0:38 There's no way you can smoke $40,000 worth of weed.

Luis J. Gomez 0:41 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 0:41 I mean, maybe like, his whole crew.

Dave Smith 0:44 Yeah. If he says it's about himself, there's no way.

Joe Rogan 0:46 A month?

Luis J. Gomez 0:47 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 0:47 How much is $40,000... I wanna see what it looks like in a room. Like if you stack-

Luis J. Gomez 0:51 Yeah, I'm not buying that.

Dave Smith 0:52 It would be a pile that you could fall into and take a nap. Like you could definitely-

Joe Rogan 0:55 Yeah.

Dave Smith 0:55 ... it's like be- like beanbag chair.

Joe Rogan 0:56 You could fucking, you could fly through the air-

Dave Smith 0:57 (laughs)

Luis J. Gomez 0:57 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 0:57 ... landing on your back with confidence. Right?

Luis J. Gomez 1:00 Well, he, all right, so how much is... I mean, you're getting it in bulk so it's gonna be probably like $100 an ounce.

Dave Smith 1:05 It's getting even worse.

Luis J. Gomez 1:06 Even less than that.

Joe Rogan 1:06 Well, if you can get-

Dave Smith 1:07 If you're gonna spend 40 grand, they'll give you more than 40 grand's worth.

Joe Rogan 1:10 (laughs)

Dave Smith 1:10 You know what I mean? Just to be like, "Here, man. I don't know."

Joe Rogan 1:12 Look what it says here, "We smoke 10 tons of weed (cough) at the ranch a month." Oh my God. This is Britton said. Uh, Ebin? Is that his... How do you say his name? Yeah. Ebin? Ebin? Ebin, yeah. Ebin Britton? So, uh, 10 tons of weed is $40,000. That doesn't seem right, does it?

Dave Smith 1:29 None of that seems right.

Joe Rogan 1:30 It seems like it'd be more money than that.

Luis J. Gomez 1:31 That's 20,000 pounds of weed. Th- that's impossible.

Joe Rogan 1:34 He might have been... He obviously could have easily been joking and laughing while he said this too. We're re- reading it in print.

Luis J. Gomez 1:39 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:39 But he's like, (blows raspberry) "Dude, we smoke 10 tons a month."

Luis J. Gomez 1:42 Yeah, this is something he could say.

Joe Rogan 1:43 Or maybe it's on the, on the podcast.

Dave Smith 1:43 It might be weed talk. That's what I'm saying. Yeah.

Luis J. Gomez 1:45 Yeah.

Dave Smith 1:45 You know?

Joe Rogan 1:45 It sounds like something I would say.

Dave Smith 1:47 Yeah.

Luis J. Gomez 1:47 More than you could ever possibly imagine.

Joe Rogan 1:50 (laughs)

Dave Smith 1:50 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:51 We just keep burning it. We burn it all the time. We don't even breathe air.

Luis J. Gomez 1:55 I'm gonna throw out a wild number, 40 million.

Dave Smith 1:57 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:59 (laughs)

Luis J. Gomez 2:00 40 tons.

Joe Rogan 2:00 (laughs)

Dave Smith 2:00 And they go, "No, 40 million's not right." He goes, "40,000?"

Luis J. Gomez 2:02 Just-

Joe Rogan 2:03 Someone should do-

Dave Smith 2:03 Maybe.

Joe Rogan 2:04 ... some, some journalist should do, uh, like, uh, do, just make an image of this is what $40,000 worth of weed looks like.

Luis J. Gomez 2:13 Yeah, it's gonna be more than-

Joe Rogan 2:14 Would that even be this whole room?

Luis J. Gomez 2:14 ... even like Tyson and his crew can smoke.

Joe Rogan 2:17 Wouldn't it fill this whole room?

Dave Smith 2:18 I think it would. Uh, it'd be one of those like shipping crates.

Joe Rogan 2:22 Is it even... (laughs) Somebody already did it.

Luis J. Gomez 2:23 Wait, what?

Dave Smith 2:24 There you go.

Joe Rogan 2:24 Somebody already did it. Is it even... There's a graph. Is it even possible to smoke $40,000 of weed a month?

Luis J. Gomez 2:29 900 eighths?

Dave Smith 2:30 Oh, wow.

Luis J. Gomez 2:30 That's actually not that much, but with a crew, 900... Think about it. If you do, uh, two gram blunts, that's two blunts per eighth, essentially, a little bit less.

Joe Rogan 2:40 This guy's got it broken down.

Luis J. Gomez 2:42 That-

Dave Smith 2:42 Yeah, but this guy could really just tell you how much it is in bulk he's giving you.

Luis J. Gomez 2:45 That's-

Dave Smith 2:46 900 eighths seems a little bit lazy to even write.

Luis J. Gomez 2:48 1800 blunts between Mike Tyson's crew is not actually that much for a month.

Joe Rogan 2:51 It's not that much. Now when I'm looking at ho- that how this guy's saying it, he's saying it's basically four blunts per hour. That's totally possible if you got a large number of people with you.

Luis J. Gomez 3:00 I will never question Mike Tyson again.

Joe Rogan 3:01 Ever.

Luis J. Gomez 3:02 This is it.

Joe Rogan 3:03 Ever.

Luis J. Gomez 3:03 The man doesn't lie.

Dave Smith 3:03 10 tons of weed.

Joe Rogan 3:04 I think, I think-

Luis J. Gomez 3:04 But that's still about 10 tons.

Joe Rogan 3:05 I think, I think we're being silly. I think they were joking around. I bet a lot of it they give away too. You know, they might go through a personal stash of that much weed.

Dave Smith 3:14 I didn't know he has a ranch.

Joe Rogan 3:16 Mike Tyson's in the weed game, son.

Dave Smith 3:19 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 3:19 All in. Dude, he was one of the most fascinating guys to interview, 'cause I couldn't believe I was really talking to him.

Dave Smith 3:24 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 3:25 It's like I can't believe that's really Mike Tyson. Like there's certain people, like you talk to them, like, "Th- that's really Mike Tyson?"

Luis J. Gomez 3:31 Yeah.

Dave Smith 3:31 Just-

Joe Rogan 3:31 This is crazy.

Dave Smith 3:31 Yeah.

Luis J. Gomez 3:31 It doesn't make sense. It just doesn't compute.

Dave Smith 3:33 'Cause what he's been through in his life, yeah-

Joe Rogan 3:34 Yeah.

Dave Smith 3:34 ... like and now he's here somehow.

Joe Rogan 3:35 Knowing him as a kid when he was the fucking man, and you'd see him on the cover of these magazines, like Kid Dynamite when he was 19 years old on Sports Illustrated, and just smashing everyone in front of him. And then all of a sudden he's hanging with you.

Luis J. Gomez 3:48 Yeah, it's very strange.

Dave Smith 3:49 (clears throat)

Joe Rogan 3:49 And he's getting chill too.

Luis J. Gomez 3:50 And it's also just as a, a fall from grace and then a, a, a resurgence.

Joe Rogan 3:53 Yeah.

Dave Smith 3:53 Yeah.

Luis J. Gomez 3:53 It's still a weird resurgence too.

Dave Smith 3:55 Mm-hmm.

Luis J. Gomez 3:55 Like, nobody ever saw him becoming like, you know, a cartoon character and like-

Dave Smith 3:59 Yeah.

Luis J. Gomez 3:59 ... a fucking Broadway actor-

Dave Smith 4:00 Yeah.

Luis J. Gomez 4:00 ... in a one-man show, and now a weed rancher.

Dave Smith 4:02 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 4:02 (laughs)

Luis J. Gomez 4:02 That's bananas.

Dave Smith 4:03 (laughs)

Luis J. Gomez 4:04 Man, who saw that? Nobody said that was gonna be Mike Tyson's trajectory.

Joe Rogan 4:06 Yeah, I just hope he doesn't get me too.

Luis J. Gomez 4:07 Do you know what was funny? The t- the uh, the trajectory of when I found out who he was when I was a kid and started getting those bo- like, very shortly after you saw what a monster he was was that Robin Givhan's interview where he just sat there like a doofus.

Joe Rogan 4:21 Yeah.

Luis J. Gomez 4:21 While she was like, "Yeah, he beats up me and rapes my mom." And he's like, "Mm-hmm."

Dave Smith 4:25 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 4:25 (laughs)

Luis J. Gomez 4:25 (laughs)

Dave Smith 4:26 I- I- I- our kid's over here stewing and just going like, "When these cameras go off, oh boy."

Joe Rogan 4:32 (laughs)

Luis J. Gomez 4:32 (laughs)

Dave Smith 4:32 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 4:32 (laughs)

Luis J. Gomez 4:33 You better hope this interview goes on for four days.

Dave Smith 4:36 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 4:37 (laughs)

Luis J. Gomez 4:37 (laughs) But wasn't there some talk about them medicating him? Wasn't that part of what was happening? Like they were trying-

Dave Smith 4:43 The mom in Robin Givhan's?

Joe Rogan 4:43 ... to sedate him?

Luis J. Gomez 4:45 Maybe. I just remember him talking about it in that documentary.

Dave Smith 4:48 I was thinking when we went to Hungary. Yeah.

Luis J. Gomez 4:48 In the documentary and he was just like, he said he was just so... he couldn't believe she was saying it, so he was just like silent. But if you watch it, it seems like he's furious.

Joe Rogan 4:55 Mm-hmm.

Luis J. Gomez 4:55 And just trying to not say something angry.

Joe Rogan 4:58 Oh.

Dave Smith 4:58 'Cause he has a dark side.

Luis J. Gomez 4:59 Because also the key to Mike Tyson is that he always seemed like he was furious.

Joe Rogan 5:02 Yeah.

Luis J. Gomez 5:02 He al- and he even talked about it once. He goes, "I'm just mad. I'm mad at my dog, I'm mad at everything." (laughs)

Dave Smith 5:08 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 5:08 (laughs)

Luis J. Gomez 5:08 It just, (laughs) it just... And that's when he was at the top of the heap, man.

Dave Smith 5:11 Right.

Joe Rogan 5:11 But now he's like this peaceful, friendly guy.

Luis J. Gomez 5:14 He had to overcompensate for all that. That's why he needs $40,000.

Dave Smith 5:18 It's just childhood.

Joe Rogan 5:18 It was all therapy, right? He had to be... he has to have like 20 therapists. He beat up the first seven of them. I mean, to be a great fighter, you have to be able to look at yourself. You have to be able to look at your skills. You, you still... It doesn't mean you still can't make horrific mistakes, but you have to be able to look at yourself. It's the only way you get any better. The, the, the best fighters have an understanding... Even if they have ego problems, they still have a pretty good understanding of who they are.

Luis J. Gomez 5:43 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 5:43 And that's, that, that can benefit you if you use it. Like the, I'm sure he probably went through therapy, but he didn't necessarily... He could probably have figured it out on his own just 'cause he's a smart guy. He's a smart guy that grew up in a horrible, horrible way where-... the first love he had was an old boxing trainer that turned him into a murderer.

Big Jay Oakerson 6:02 (laughs)

Luis J. Gomez 6:02 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 6:02 I mean, that was the first love that guy experienced. His life was-

Big Jay Oakerson 6:05 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 6:05 ... horrible, man. And from him being adopted by Cus D'Amato when he was a little kid, and having extreme physical gifts as well, it was this perfect storm. Dude, they said when he was 13, he weighed 190 pounds. Teddy Atlas used to bring him to boxing, these smoker events, and they were like, "Yeah, he's fucking 13." And they put him in with a 16-year-old-

Big Jay Oakerson 6:27 Huh.

Joe Rogan 6:27 ... because nobody wanted to believe that a 13-year-old could be jacked like that.

Big Jay Oakerson 6:30 Well, J- when Jay weed, when Jay was 13 years old, he weighed like 220.

Luis J. Gomez 6:33 It's true. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 6:34 I think it's just-

Luis J. Gomez 6:34 (laughs)

Dave Smith 6:34 It's a different kind of weight. Was it a different build?

Joe Rogan 6:36 Because he-

Dave Smith 6:37 I was knocking motherfuckers out.

Big Jay Oakerson 6:39 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 6:39 He was built like a goddamn tank.

Luis J. Gomez 6:41 Yeah, that's not a 13-year-old you want to fight.

Dave Smith 6:43 No. Also, fun fact, he is the reason, Mike Tyson, solely, is the reason why now if you're on TV for even five minutes, they start scurrying about your tattoos being covered or can you get a release for them all. Because when he came on, uh, was it The Hangover movie? The company that did, or the tattoo artist that did his face tattoos sued for like, and I think won, for like millions of dollars.

Joe Rogan 7:07 What? That's so crazy.

Luis J. Gomez 7:08 How is that possible? For doing the movie?

Dave Smith 7:10 Because they used the image.

Luis J. Gomez 7:10 Because they used that person's artwork without them-

Dave Smith 7:12 But once you put a tattoo on somebody-

Luis J. Gomez 7:14 Nope. It's your only, nope. Yeah.

Dave Smith 7:16 You claim part owner, you claim part ownership of that person now?

Luis J. Gomez 7:17 Yep.

Big Jay Oakerson 7:17 It makes tattoos so much gayer.

Luis J. Gomez 7:19 It does.

7:20 (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 7:20 You can walk around with some fucking dudes.

Luis J. Gomez 7:22 What up, guys?

Joe Rogan 7:23 (laughs)

Dave Smith 7:23 Oh, yeah. This is when I, this is when I married an lesbian in Alaska.

Luis J. Gomez 7:26 (laughs)

7:26 (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 7:27 (laughs)

Dave Smith 7:27 Uh, this is when I became, I guess, uh, partners in life with a guy in Montreal who spoke French.

Big Jay Oakerson 7:32 Jay, how many tattoos do we have in common? We have the same...

Joe Rogan 7:34 You guys have a bunch of tattoos in common?

Dave Smith 7:35 One, two, three. Three. Yeah, we have the Daves, yeah.

Big Jay Oakerson 7:39 Here we go again, side.

Joe Rogan 7:39 What do, what do, what do you guys have?

Big Jay Oakerson 7:41 Here you go.

Dave Smith 7:41 Oh, we're doing that-

Joe Rogan 7:42 Oh, you guys get... What do you... What's happening here? There's a lot of people that can't hear this.

Luis J. Gomez 7:45 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 7:45 So what are these things?

Big Jay Oakerson 7:47 This is, uh, half hearts.

Joe Rogan 7:48 They're like feathers?

Big Jay Oakerson 7:48 No, it's half hearts and it says Dave and Smith.

Joe Rogan 7:51 Wow.

Big Jay Oakerson 7:52 Yeah.

Luis J. Gomez 7:52 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 7:52 So you are on their arm.

Dave Smith 7:55 Yeah.

Big Jay Oakerson 7:55 Well, he's too-

Joe Rogan 7:55 Does that make you uncomfortable?

Luis J. Gomez 7:56 I did not consent.

Big Jay Oakerson 7:57 He's too much of a pussy to get a tattoo, so we just did it for him.

Joe Rogan 7:59 Ah.

Luis J. Gomez 8:00 He's very-

Joe Rogan 8:00 That's actually cute.

Luis J. Gomez 8:01 He's very Jewish.

Joe Rogan 8:02 That's adorable. That's real love, man. You guys have to stay friends for life now.

Big Jay Oakerson 8:05 I know. I was gonna be out the door when they got this tattoo.

Luis J. Gomez 8:07 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 8:07 You know, girls want to get married, guys do the, "All right, bro. I'm your bro. I'm fucking tattooing your name on my leg, bro."

Luis J. Gomez 8:13 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 8:13 "You gotta do mine."

Big Jay Oakerson 8:14 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 8:14 "Tattoo 12 on your fucking leg, bro."

Luis J. Gomez 8:16 (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 8:17 "Hey, you can have as many guys tattooed on your leg as you want. I don't care. I'm not jealous. But I want my fucking name on your leg, bro."

Luis J. Gomez 8:23 (laughs)

Dave Smith 8:23 There was a WorldStar, there was a WorldStar video yesterday of a guy catching a girl cheating in a hotel. And the other guy's like naked in the hallway and she's like in her underwear and the guy's just screaming at her. There's a, a guy there. And she just fucking keeps going. And he's like, "I got my fucking, your name tatted on me." And she doing all...

Luis J. Gomez 8:41 Oh, my God.

Dave Smith 8:41 "I'm sorry, calm down, I'm sorry." And when she just decides that she doesn't give a shit anymore, she goes, "Well, no one told you to get my name tatted on you. Now you look like a fucking asshole with my name tattooed on you."

Luis J. Gomez 8:49 (laughs)

8:49 Oh my God.

Big Jay Oakerson 8:51 Have you ever done anything for a girl, like a tattoo?

Dave Smith 8:53 Yeah. You know, so I have three Chinese characters here. This is back when I was young enough, when a tattoo shop was able to convince you, which I think they still do to people, that Chinese characters can say or spell anything, which is just not true. (laughs) Uh, like when it's supposed to be letters. So I got, uh, what I believed Chinese characters was C-M-S. They're still there. Uh, they're just blended into something else. But it, it was Cherilyn Marie Sleater was, uh, was the name of my girlfriend when I was younger.

Luis J. Gomez 9:21 That's a terrible name.

Dave Smith 9:22 Yeah, yeah.

Big Jay Oakerson 9:23 Cheryl Sleater?

Dave Smith 9:24 Yeah.

Big Jay Oakerson 9:24 She sounds like she's got shit teeth.

Dave Smith 9:26 Infamous. No, good teeth.

Luis J. Gomez 9:28 (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 9:28 Cheryl Sleater sounds like she got fucking teeth pointing in every which direction.

Dave Smith 9:31 A hot chick, actually. But, uh, just I mean, coming from like a real pack of dummies. Like real stupid. And so stupid, in fact, was she, that I got those tattooed on me. Thank God, in Chinese characters, C-M-S.

Luis J. Gomez 9:44 (laughs)

Dave Smith 9:44 Her mom didn't like me and I came, and I couldn't wait to tell her mom that I got this tattoo. I go, "Look what I got for your daughter." And she's like, "What is that?" I go, "C-M-S." And she goes, "What's that?" I go, "Your daughter's initials."

Luis J. Gomez 9:56 (laughs)

Dave Smith 9:57 Cherilyn Marie Sleater. And she goes, uh... Her mom cou- she was so happy though. "That's not your name?" My girlfriend was so dumb, she didn't know her name is not in fact... She just made up the Marie part. Her name is Cherilyn Sleater. And it was that, so I got a wrong tattoo of your girlfriend.

Luis J. Gomez 10:15 That's really dumb.

Dave Smith 10:16 That she was-

Joe Rogan 10:16 It's perfect.

Dave Smith 10:17 She was with me while I got it and didn't know her own middle name. Sat there confidently, like, "Make sure you get the M good."

Big Jay Oakerson 10:22 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 10:22 That, that tattoo is wild large patches of America.

Big Jay Oakerson 10:27 Yeah.

Dave Smith 10:28 (laughs)

Luis J. Gomez 10:28 Yeah. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 10:28 That is, that is that tattoo. That, that tattoo like that that's that fucked up-

Dave Smith 10:32 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 10:32 ... embodies so many lives.

Dave Smith 10:34 Oh, yeah.

Luis J. Gomez 10:35 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 10:35 So many people have, (laughs) so many people have made horrendous choices.

Big Jay Oakerson 10:38 Yeah. I had, uh, my first tattoo, it just said, uh, Ludogg. I got it covered up.

Luis J. Gomez 10:44 (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 10:44 But Ludogg, L-U-D-O-G-G. Nobody has ever called me Ludogg.

Luis J. Gomez 10:49 (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 10:50 Um, except for afterwards sarcastically to make fun of me. They're like, "All right, Ludogg." You know what I'm saying? (laughs)

Luis J. Gomez 10:54 But you were so psyched to go tell your friends. "Hey, guys, you're calling me Ludogg now."

Big Jay Oakerson 10:57 Well, it was weird 'cause I only had $70. And I was like, "All right, dude, I have $70." It was, I'm 18, I just turned 18. I was like, "I'm getting a fucking tattoo." And I, I was like, "All right, I'm getting Ludogg no matter what." But I got to get like a little design underneath it.

Joe Rogan 11:08 (laughs) "I'm getting Ludogg no matter what."

Big Jay Oakerson 11:10 So it said Ludogg in script, and then underneath it, it was, it was tribal, like ma- almost, it almost looked like, like antlers, like tribal antlers. But it was, 'cause I was poor-

Dave Smith 11:19 It's something you would like scribble on a binder while you're bored in class.

Luis J. Gomez 11:23 (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 11:24 Dude, it was just, it was like a, it was a tramp stamp. It was like a tiny tramp stamp underneath Ludogg for no reason. (laughs)

Dave Smith 11:29 Were you under age?

Big Jay Oakerson 11:30 No, I was 18.

Dave Smith 11:31 Oh, I was under age. That's why mine, mine is the word Jay in Old English and it is so high up here just so my mom wouldn't see it.

Big Jay Oakerson 11:38 Oh, that's right. (laughs)

Dave Smith 11:38 I saw it immediately. I saw it immediately.

Joe Rogan 11:39 (laughs) Why was-

Big Jay Oakerson 11:39 You have to hide it under your T-shirt?

Dave Smith 11:41 Yeah. (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 11:41 We were both fat kids and I had a, big fat arms with this little tiny shit tattooed on my big fat arm.

Joe Rogan 11:46 (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 11:46 And your Jay is so tiny.

Dave Smith 11:48 It's so tiny.

Big Jay Oakerson 11:49 Is it still there?

Dave Smith 11:50 Yeah.

Big Jay Oakerson 11:50 Oh, bet it's bad.

Dave Smith 11:51 It's bad.

Big Jay Oakerson 11:51 Yeah.

Dave Smith 11:52 It's that, yeah. And then more Chinese stuff here. And then a Pam Anderson barbed wire around my arm. But I've just accepted that I just, all my tattoos have some shitty dumb story.

Joe Rogan 12:00 In high school, my friend Jimmy was the first one to get tattooed.And he got this really shitty, like, tiger on his arm (clears throat) with his name, in case he forgets his name.

Luis J. Gomez 12:08 (laughs) .

Joe Rogan 12:08 You know, I think we were like 18 at the time, maybe 17. And he came home and, uh, he had, like, a little Band-Aid peeking out underneath his shirt. (laughs)

Luis J. Gomez 12:17 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 12:18 And his mom started screaming at him. And if I'm... I'm... I hope I'm not rem- I'm fucking this story up. I hope I'm not. But, uh, like her- I remember thinking that, like, "Wow, he was the first. Like everyone's gotta get a tattoo eventually." Like the, the, the idea that someone's gonna draw on you permanent. I'm like, "Ooh, forever?" You got a keep... Like, it's a ball to you.

Luis J. Gomez 12:37 It's funny, it never really hit me, like, that hard with, uh, uh, I know it... And it's true... And by the way, I wish, you know, talk about having a time machine. If you can go back and just tell your teenage self, like, "Just wait till even, like, your late 20s. You're gonna have a lot of good years with awesome tattoos."

Joe Rogan 12:50 Yeah.

Luis J. Gomez 12:50 Or you're gonna make this decision now and have the rest of your life with some pretty shitty ones. Yeah. You have no money when you're 18. You don't... You... There's no money for good tattoos.

Joe Rogan 12:57 No.

Luis J. Gomez 12:57 You're probably from some... Unless you live in, like, New York- I have 20... I have tw-

Joe Rogan 13:00 Well-

Luis J. Gomez 13:00 I have $20 tattoos on me, for sure.

Joe Rogan 13:02 I was... Uh, I was offended by the drawing 'cause I'm an artist and I was looking at it, I was like, "This is so bad."

Luis J. Gomez 13:07 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 13:07 The guy just traced it.

Luis J. Gomez 13:08 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 13:08 I mean, the guy was not an artist at all, whoever did the tattoo. He was fucking just a guy-

Luis J. Gomez 13:12 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 13:12 ... who got a job doing tattoos.

Luis J. Gomez 13:14 Who learned how to use the gun.

Joe Rogan 13:15 Exactly.

Luis J. Gomez 13:16 That's it. Yeah. I have that... I want-

Joe Rogan 13:17 He just traced it.

Luis J. Gomez 13:18 On my leg, I have a dragon, like, uh, another tribal dragon-

Joe Rogan 13:21 (laughs) .

Luis J. Gomez 13:21 When I was 19 in Florida, in Miami, like, we went, like, on a boardwalk tattoo shop with, like, Chinese people in the front. Like, don't ever get ta- never get a ta- unless you're in China and they're using the old, like, tappy technique-

Joe Rogan 13:32 Yeah.

Luis J. Gomez 13:32 ... where they fucking do that. Don't go to, like, a shit bodega tattoo shop, because that's what I got, and it's all blended together now. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 13:40 Yeah.

Luis J. Gomez 13:40 And the guy, the guys had no idea. I mean, it's painful as shit. They don't know what they're doing. The other problem with it is, it's really painful. They go too deep.

Joe Rogan 13:47 Yeah.

Luis J. Gomez 13:47 They pull it out.

Joe Rogan 13:48 Well, that's another thing about henna (clears throat) , ladies, if you, uh, or guys who are into henna tattoos, if you get those henna tattoos, like, in Thailand or something like that, sometimes it's not really henna, it's hair dye. And the hair dye can be poisonous to your skin.

Luis J. Gomez 14:02 Jesus.

Joe Rogan 14:02 Like, it's not good stuff.

Luis J. Gomez 14:03 Oh, and you didn't even die getting a real tattoo.

Joe Rogan 14:05 Well, I don't know if you can die, but I think it fucks you up.

Luis J. Gomez 14:08 Getting painted on with hair dye. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 14:09 See, let's find out what, uh... I think there's a re-

Luis J. Gomez 14:11 (clears throat) .

Joe Rogan 14:11 There was, like, a warning about this that I read, where they're saying, "Don't, don't get henna from places that aren't using real henna," 'cause they, they use cheap hair dye or-

Luis J. Gomez 14:19 They could've just stopped at, "Don't get henna."

Joe Rogan 14:22 Yeah, you could've said that.

Luis J. Gomez 14:23 So-

Joe Rogan 14:23 That's a weird one, right? It's like, I want a tattoo, but not really.

Luis J. Gomez 14:26 Yeah.

Dave Smith 14:26 It looks like a- it looks like a spray-on tan's wearing off.

Joe Rogan 14:30 Yes. (laughs)

Luis J. Gomez 14:31 (laughs)

Dave Smith 14:31 You know what I'm saying?

Luis J. Gomez 14:31 It looks- it just looks disgusting.

Dave Smith 14:32 PPD is con- in it. Whatever, black henna often contains PPD at high levels and when applied to skin can cause chemical burns and allergic reactions. And I don't know what PPD is. I'm trying to find that.

Luis J. Gomez 14:45 Chemical burns?

Joe Rogan 14:46 Yeah, you gotta be careful out there, kids. Don't be pouring chemicals on you.

Luis J. Gomez 14:49 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 14:50 But apparently-

Luis J. Gomez 14:50 Joe Rogan says, "Steer clear of henna."

Joe Rogan 14:52 ... it's okay to just drill holes in your skin and pump some ink in there. It's apparently fine to do that.

Luis J. Gomez 14:55 There had to be, like, uh, uh-

Joe Rogan 14:57 (laughs)

Luis J. Gomez 14:58 ... some errors made when they were coming up with, like, ta- like, the first tattoos, people's arms-

Joe Rogan 15:02 Oh, my God. (laughs)

Luis J. Gomez 15:02 ... were fucking falling off their body. (laughs) I'm pretty sure the first tattoos were, like, in Africa, carving shit into your arm or something.

Joe Rogan 15:08 Yeah, like a scarring thing.

Luis J. Gomez 15:09 It was-

Dave Smith 15:09 Yeah. When someone's a great tattoo artist-

Joe Rogan 15:11 I think-

Dave Smith 15:12 ... I'm always blow... It's the most sloppy, uncomfortable. The fact that I couldn't do anything near that with, like, a pencil and art supplies and a set-

Joe Rogan 15:19 Yeah.

Dave Smith 15:20 ... you know, flat surface, like, what I'm meant to... To have to do that is cra-... When someone's amazing at it, it makes no sense.

Joe Rogan 15:25 No, it doesn't. It's-

Dave Smith 15:26 'Cause they always... Also, they're still just going, like, (laughs) just scribbling basically it looks like, and then they swipe it away and it's, like, perfect.

Luis J. Gomez 15:30 It looks like they're mad at you, is like (growling) (laughs) .

Joe Rogan 15:32 (laughs) I found the craziest fucking page. Jamie, I'm gonna send it to you. This is a lady and she does paint on people's face that makes it look like they have extra eyeballs. And the, the paint is so accurate, you're looking at a video of it and you're like, "What the fuck am I looking at?" I have to say that.

Luis J. Gomez 15:50 Oh, is it the Asian chick? 'Cause she makes-

Joe Rogan 15:52 Yes. Yes. Yes.

Luis J. Gomez 15:52 ... herself look different.

Joe Rogan 15:53 Mm-hmm.

Luis J. Gomez 15:53 Dude, that, that chick is fucking talented, what she does with makeup. And she got in trouble 'cause she did black face, but she does every- she didn't do black face. She made-

Joe Rogan 15:59 (laughs) .

Luis J. Gomez 15:59 ... herself into, like, an African Nubian princess and it was the most amazing thing in the world.

Joe Rogan 16:03 Is this her?

Luis J. Gomez 16:03 But it still has, like, the outline.

Joe Rogan 16:05 Is this the same girl?

Luis J. Gomez 16:05 (laughs) Yeah, she's got the white outline. (laughs)

Dave Smith 16:05 Still has the white outline. Got it.

Luis J. Gomez 16:07 She's shucking and jiving. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 16:08 (laughs)

Dave Smith 16:08 Yeah. You got it? Mimi Choy?

Luis J. Gomez 16:10 She's, "I'm a Nubian princess. What? How you talking?" Like...

Joe Rogan 16:12 Here, we'll look at it.

Luis J. Gomez 16:13 Eezeweezee. (laughs)

Dave Smith 16:13 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 16:13 Her name is, uh, Mimi Choy. This is the shit she does.

Luis J. Gomez 16:16 Whoa.

Dave Smith 16:17 (coughs)

Joe Rogan 16:18 Look at that. Dude, that's insane.

Luis J. Gomez 16:20 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 16:21 Your head... She's got eyeballs drawn all over her face-

Luis J. Gomez 16:24 This is Joe Rogan's perfect woman.

Joe Rogan 16:26 ... with extra lids.

Dave Smith 16:26 Yeah. Uh-huh.

Luis J. Gomez 16:26 Well-

Dave Smith 16:27 Whoa.

Luis J. Gomez 16:27 ... it's... Yeah, that's like a Tool video. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 16:29 Yeah, it does. Dude, that's a... She's a fractal. That is something you would see if you were some serious drugs.

Luis J. Gomez 16:35 And this is the kinda shit you gotta pretend to enjoy if you wanna fuck a hot Asian chick.

Joe Rogan 16:38 Her, uh, her whole page-

Luis J. Gomez 16:39 I'm super into nude dance.

Joe Rogan 16:40 Like, look at that.

Luis J. Gomez 16:41 Oh, this is a different chick than I was thinking of, but, you know, I guess as a category, it's cool.

Joe Rogan 16:45 It's crazy. It's crazy. If you go... You scroll down and look at some of the eyeball ones, with the extra eyeballs or below her face. (coughs) Like, it's so fu-

Dave Smith 16:53 Oh, Jesus Christ. That's trippy.

Joe Rogan 16:54 Dude, it's a fucking freakout.

Dave Smith 16:55 What the fuck?

Joe Rogan 16:56 It's a fucking freakout.

Luis J. Gomez 16:57 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 16:58 Yeah.

Luis J. Gomez 16:59 That's so weird.

Joe Rogan 16:59 Yeah, it's wild. It's that same sort of level of tattoo art that the really high-level tattoo guys. Have you seen that guy, Steve Butcher? I've showed you that guy before, right?

Luis J. Gomez 17:08 If that guy walked into a room, I would think that it's a monster and I would kill it.

Joe Rogan 17:12 Yeah, you're like, "What the fuck?"

Luis J. Gomez 17:13 That's terrifying.

Joe Rogan 17:14 You would think someone drugged you.

Luis J. Gomez 17:15 Yeah.

Dave Smith 17:15 (laughs) .

Joe Rogan 17:16 Yeah. You would say, "Oh, my God, Satan is real-

Luis J. Gomez 17:18 (laughs) .

Joe Rogan 17:19 ... and I've been living a lie."

Dave Smith 17:19 (laughs) .

Joe Rogan 17:19 "I've been running around arrogant, thinking that Satan's not real."

Dave Smith 17:22 Jesus Christ.

Joe Rogan 17:22 Yeah, this is Steve Butcher. Steve Butcher does insane shit, man. He did one of me. Somebody got me tattooed on their leg and it's fucking incre- it looks exactly-

Luis J. Gomez 17:30 How do you feel about that, Joe?

Joe Rogan 17:32 So weird.

Dave Smith 17:33 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 17:33 Don't do that. Don't do that.

Luis J. Gomez 17:35 (laughs) Does it make... You can't say it to the guy-

Joe Rogan 17:37 Just-

Luis J. Gomez 17:37 ... when he sends you the fucking... (laughs)

Joe Rogan 17:39 Stop. Just stop. Stop tat-

Luis J. Gomez 17:41 A guy got Legion of Skanks tattooed on his face and, like, you look and you go, "That's awesome that you wanna do that, but, man-"

Joe Rogan 17:46 Jesus.

Luis J. Gomez 17:47 "... maybe you shouldn't have-"

Dave Smith 17:47 On his face?

Luis J. Gomez 17:48 On his face. He had a bunch of other face tattoos though.

Joe Rogan 17:50 Ooh.

Luis J. Gomez 17:50 It wasn't the first one.

Dave Smith 17:51 It's true.

Joe Rogan 17:51 Look at that Kobe Bryant. Scroll up a bit. Look at that Kobe Bryant-

Luis J. Gomez 17:54 Boo.

Dave Smith 17:54 Where he's got the T-shirt in his mouth. Get the fuck outta here, man. That might as well be a photograph. That's crazy. Like, look at the resolution. Look at the sweat.

Luis J. Gomez 18:03 If you said to me, "What's one thing you can't draw?" I'd say black people sweat.

Joe Rogan 18:09 (laughs) .

Luis J. Gomez 18:09 (laughs) .

Dave Smith 18:09 (laughs) .

Big Jay Oakerson 18:10 And this guy-

18:11 Bro.

18:11 ... pulled it off somehow. (laughs)

18:14 That guy. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 18:15 (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 18:15 I would have... I would... If I was drawing that, it would just have white drips down his face.

Joe Rogan 18:18 Yeah.

Big Jay Oakerson 18:18 Look, like, bukkake'd.

Joe Rogan 18:19 Make that bigger, Jamie. That guy did that with needles, man. I mean, that's insane how good that is. Yeah, somehow it doesn't seem nearly as weird to get athletes tattooed on you as it does comedians.

Big Jay Oakerson 18:29 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 18:29 No, it does for them, I'm sure.

Big Jay Oakerson 18:30 No, it's still weird even to show athletes.

Joe Rogan 18:31 Even for them. I'm sure Kobe's running around going, "Damn, dude. Why, why am I on you?" It's a little different, though, 'cause people grow up on, like... (sighs) I mean, by... That's not true, dude, 'cause I... The connection that people feel with, like, comics and podcasts, it's pretty big. I get it. You know, it's like we don't want- want the responsibility. We wanna do it, but we don't want the responsibility.

Big Jay Oakerson 18:48 I don't want the responsibility of being your shin. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 18:51 (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 18:51 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 18:51 Me neither.

Big Jay Oakerson 18:51 I 100% want my fucking face tattooed on people. So anybody out there, I will-

Joe Rogan 18:56 (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 18:56 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 18:56 ... I'll give you a free Legion of Skanks T-shirt if you show me- As long as it says, there's the dude.

Big Jay Oakerson 18:59 Wow.

Joe Rogan 19:00 (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 19:00 It's a good tattoo.

Joe Rogan 19:01 As long as it says Lou Dog.

Big Jay Oakerson 19:03 Yeah. That is crazy.

19:05 (coughs)

Joe Rogan 19:05 That's crazy. It's... It's so... That is as accurate as a photograph. That's, uh, my fucking face. That's my face.

Big Jay Oakerson 19:10 That's fucking intense, Joe.

Joe Rogan 19:11 Here's the main reason. Yeah, I don't remember what that's from. I was probably making a point. (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 19:18 (laughs)

19:18 Whatever it was, you were right.

Joe Rogan 19:19 And you just... That's the problem with me, man. You get any one clip of me or my face and you, you, you could make decisions.

Big Jay Oakerson 19:25 That's a... That's an incredible tattoo.

Joe Rogan 19:26 That's... That's the first time Joe saw Ari's butthole or his face.

Big Jay Oakerson 19:30 Yeah. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 19:30 There's no way I could remember that far back.

Big Jay Oakerson 19:31 (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 19:32 I think his butthole... I think Ari's, uh-

Joe Rogan 19:33 You've said so many times.

Big Jay Oakerson 19:35 I think he's in process of getting his butthole fixed.

Joe Rogan 19:36 Is he gonna get surgery?

Big Jay Oakerson 19:37 Yeah, yeah.

19:38 Oh, thank God.

19:38 I think so, yeah.

Joe Rogan 19:38 Is it the surg-

Big Jay Oakerson 19:39 He's been bleeding since I've known him.

19:41 Yeah. It's bizarre that he just lives life like that.

19:43 Yeah, it's-

19:43 That would shut... That's a problem that would shut me off from going out to the world.

Joe Rogan 19:47 Well, what, what causes those things, hemorrhoids? What causes hemorrhoids?

Big Jay Oakerson 19:51 We, we, uh-

Joe Rogan 19:51 I got hemorrhoids working out 'cause I wasn't breathing when I was lifting weights.

Big Jay Oakerson 19:54 Jesus Christ.

Joe Rogan 19:55 And I was just-

Big Jay Oakerson 19:56 (laughs)

19:57 Just clenching.

Joe Rogan 19:58 Just clenching my butthole and it just popped out, little fucking-

Big Jay Oakerson 20:01 Like squeezing a balloon animal? (laughs)

20:03 Yeah. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 20:03 You've made blisters inside your butthole from squeezing it together.

Big Jay Oakerson 20:07 And it sucks. For a while... Well, this actually won't... How we got introduced to Ari's butthole was, I was complaining about me having hemorrhoids. And on Legion of Skanks-

20:14 (laughs)

20:14 ... we opened up my butthole. They, they... To show them, I showed all the guys.

20:17 Louis did it. We didn't all open up his butthole.

20:19 Yeah. Yeah. And Ari said, "That's not a hemorrhoid." And we're like, "What?"

20:22 (laughs)

20:22 "That's a hemorrhoid."

Joe Rogan 20:24 (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 20:24 (laughs)

20:24 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 20:26 (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 20:26 "You call that a hemorrhoid?"

20:27 (laughs)

20:28 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 20:28 Oh, that's hilarious.

Big Jay Oakerson 20:29 "Step aside, little lady."

20:30 (laughs)

20:30 "Let me show you a hemorrhoid."

Joe Rogan 20:31 (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 20:31 And it was like... No, it was like the, uh, you know, in Stranger Things, the fucking monster-

20:36 Yeah.

20:36 ... the way that the face opens up. That's what Ari's asshole does.

20:38 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 20:38 It looks like Homer Simpson's mouth.

Big Jay Oakerson 20:40 Yeah, remember, like, the Blade... Remember the Blade vampire mouths-

Joe Rogan 20:43 Yes.

Big Jay Oakerson 20:43 Yeah.

20:43 When they evolve and they open up like Predator? Like Predator's mouth. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 20:46 Predator. Yeah.

Big Jay Oakerson 20:46 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 20:46 Wah!

Big Jay Oakerson 20:48 (laughs)

20:49 It looks like it's baggy, but just 'cause it opens a lot.

Joe Rogan 20:51 But the way it opens-

Big Jay Oakerson 20:52 How does he get away with what he gets away with, dude? He, like... Because he keeps tissues in his asshole at all times. And if you're with Ari, at one point, he might just throw a bloody tissue at you.

21:01 (inhales deeply) If it got to... I get, I get staying away from the doctors. I, I get it. But if you're actively bleeding out of your asshole, like, I'd be on an operating table face down quick.

Joe Rogan 21:11 Well, I, I think-

Big Jay Oakerson 21:11 Quick.

Joe Rogan 21:12 ... I think it's a real pain in the ass to get the surgery.

Big Jay Oakerson 21:18 I liked it. I liked it.

21:19 (clapping)

Joe Rogan 21:19 And, uh, I think he's, he's dealing with it as is.

Big Jay Oakerson 21:23 Yeah. No, yeah, but, I mean, it's-

Joe Rogan 21:25 I'm glad he's gonna get it fixed, though. It's troublesome when your friend sh-... How many times did that guy send you a picture of bloody toilet paper?

Big Jay Oakerson 21:32 I've seen way too much of it.

21:33 None. Never.

Joe Rogan 21:34 (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 21:34 Way too much. Doing a skank fest, he was a-

Joe Rogan 21:36 I've seen it thrown at people. Uh-

Big Jay Oakerson 21:37 The high... The most impressive thing to me is that, uh, Ari historically has just crushed ass. Like, hot chicks walking around with confidence.

Joe Rogan 21:46 He's a brilliant guy.

Big Jay Oakerson 21:47 Yeah.

21:47 He's confident walking around with napkins up his ass.

21:48 He's also weirdly handsome. Like, you don't think... You see him, you're like, "All right, that's a fucking goofy-

21:53 (laughs)

21:53 ... camel-faced fucking asshole."

21:55 Yeah.

21:55 But then you look at him again, he kinda has dreamy eyes.

Joe Rogan 21:58 Dreamy.

Big Jay Oakerson 21:59 And he's in good shape. I don't know, man.

Joe Rogan 22:01 He got in good shape for Sober October.

Big Jay Oakerson 22:03 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 22:03 He got... He's a fucking animal. I knew that he was gonna be a real problem. He was trying to win that goddamn thing.

Big Jay Oakerson 22:08 Yeah.

22:09 That's crazy.

22:09 That's not fair, dude. You can't fucking have a athletic competition with all of your out-of-shape fat friends.

Joe Rogan 22:14 It's not fair. Certainly not fair.

Big Jay Oakerson 22:17 (laughs)

22:17 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 22:19 But they were willing to do it. I'm like, "Okay, good luck."

Big Jay Oakerson 22:22 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 22:22 Like, "Look, we're gonna... We're gonna work out seven days, seven days, six hours a day. Can you do that?"

Big Jay Oakerson 22:27 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 22:28 "We're gonna have to do that. We're gonna see who drops. This is not smart, but we'll see what we got."

Big Jay Oakerson 22:32 And they're saying because they're sober?

Joe Rogan 22:34 Ari came the closest. Ari get close. He got close. He even went hard. He went fucking hard. If Ari was in shape going into it, he would probably would have at least-

Big Jay Oakerson 22:44 What's the parameters of winning though?

Joe Rogan 22:46 ... it would at least got a lot worse.

Big Jay Oakerson 22:46 Like, how do you win?

Joe Rogan 22:47 If you have this, uh... This is last year. Last year was the only time we made it to competition. And I think it's better off not being a competition, honestly. I think the fir- first year we had to do 15 yoga classes over the month. Fifteen 90-minute hot yoga classes, which is annoying.

Big Jay Oakerson 23:02 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 23:02 You know? It's, it's annoying. Like, you don't wanna do it, but you have to do it. Like, when you get in there and you're like, "All right, number seven," like, and you're starting to think, "How many more days are there? I'm gonna have to do a bunch... I wound up having to do nine in a row. So I did yoga nine fucking days in a row. But it... There was no competition, but we just had a requirement.

Big Jay Oakerson 23:19 Right.

Joe Rogan 23:19 And everybody met the requirement. We felt good that we accomplished the goal together. But then everybody started talking crazy.

Big Jay Oakerson 23:24 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 23:25 They wanted to do a competition. And Tom was like, "Yeah, let's wear these heart rate monitors." I'm like, "Okay. All right. We're, we're all gonna die."

Big Jay Oakerson 23:34 So what was the... How did you... How would... Ari have won? Like, what was the...

Joe Rogan 23:38 It's, it's a point system.

Big Jay Oakerson 23:40 Okay.

Joe Rogan 23:40 It's, uh, based on 80% of your heart rate, right? So you're get... It finds your max heart rate, and then, you know, 80% of that gets you X amount of points, and 90% of that gets you Y amount of points. I forget what it is. It's like two and four.

Big Jay Oakerson 23:54 And over the course of time.

Joe Rogan 23:56 Yeah, but you can't really maintain 90%. 90% is like these sprints. The real smart move is to stay at 80 and go long term.

Big Jay Oakerson 24:04 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 24:04 So we were doing these cardio workouts. It's all just in your head-'Cause it's, it's not hard to do. It's not hard to do an elliptical machine. It's an easy motion, so it's all in your head. And all you do is you wear this fucking heart rate monitor, and what I did is I watched the murder scene from John Wick where he goes into the Russian bath house-

Big Jay Oakerson 24:22 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 24:22 ... over and over again on a loop for five hours. And I just stayed on the fucking elliptical machine for five hours watching that scene. And I get to the end of that and I'd rewind it and I'd watch it again-

Big Jay Oakerson 24:32 (laughs) .

Joe Rogan 24:32 ... and I'd be like, "Aah!"

Big Jay Oakerson 24:34 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 24:34 Have the music, music pumped up. And I just, I did it for fucking six, six hours a day, seven hours a day. Jesus.

Big Jay Oakerson 24:40 Six hours a day? That's psychotic.

Joe Rogan 24:42 Yeah. Well, we, we were having a competition.

Big Jay Oakerson 24:44 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 24:45 (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 24:45 This is what we would do.

Joe Rogan 24:46 It's almost to the point where it's probably not healthy to work out that much. Yeah. It's not healthy.

Big Jay Oakerson 24:50 I like that there's an excuse to afford it, it's, "Well, we were competing." What are you gonna do?

Joe Rogan 24:53 Yeah. No, we're going to hell. We're going to hell. I'm like, "We're going to hell."

Big Jay Oakerson 24:56 There's no way Bert Kreischer was doing anything like that.

Joe Rogan 24:58 Uh, but Ari came close. But Bert Kreischer was the one who talked the most shit, so I would think about him while I was getting tired. And I was like, "There's no way, bitch. There's no way. You're gonna die. We're all gonna die."

Big Jay Oakerson 25:08 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 25:08 "Let's just go." (laughs) "We're gonna go till there's no sleep."

Big Jay Oakerson 25:11 Is there an advantage to starting off being, like, uh, one of the fattest guys because you can lose more and stuff?

Joe Rogan 25:17 No.

Big Jay Oakerson 25:17 No?

Joe Rogan 25:17 No, no, no. Your body's gonna have a hard time recovering.

Big Jay Oakerson 25:20 But 80% of your max heart rate is different than 80% of my max heart rate, so technically-

Joe Rogan 25:24 Yeah.

Big Jay Oakerson 25:24 ... I don't have to work as hard as you, you know. I d-... You'd have to run on a, you know, seven on a treadmill.

Joe Rogan 25:28 No, and I think it's-

Big Jay Oakerson 25:28 I could run at a 4.5.

Joe Rogan 25:29 But I... No, I think it's based on your age as well, so the max heart rate's different. (clears throat) So it might actually be easier 'cause you're just used to doing it. Y- it's all about your body being used to doing it when you're already at 80%.

Big Jay Oakerson 25:40 Yeah, if you're used to working out that much. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 25:42 80% is only, like, 140 beats a minute, you know, or maybe a little bit more, like 146 beats per minute. That's not that bad. Like, you can kinda do that for a long time. You just (breathing heavily) .

Big Jay Oakerson 25:53 What's, like...

Joe Rogan 25:55 Just watch something that's engaging and make sure you keep breathing at that rate, and you get, you get trapped in whatever you're watching. And for me, it was fights too. That was a big one. I just put on some great fights. So I got a TV right in front of me, and I'm on this fucking elliptical machine watching fights, and I would drink gigantic jugs of water with Himalayan salt and all these different, uh, hydrators in it.

Big Jay Oakerson 26:16 That keeps your heart rate up?

Joe Rogan 26:17 No, to keep you hydrated.

Big Jay Oakerson 26:18 To keep you alive. (laughs) Oh, okay.

Joe Rogan 26:20 Dude, I, I sweat-

Big Jay Oakerson 26:21 (laughs) Yeah. 'Cause he's gonna die. (laughs) From the sweet, sweet deliciousness of water?

Joe Rogan 26:23 I sweat so much that I set off the fire alarm.

Big Jay Oakerson 26:27 What?

Joe Rogan 26:27 I filled the room up with so much steam that the fire alarm went off. I filmed it.

Big Jay Oakerson 26:33 Good fire alarm.

Joe Rogan 26:33 And I put it on you- I put it on YouTube.

Big Jay Oakerson 26:35 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 26:35 Or on, uh, Tw- what is it on? Instagram? But it was ridiculous.

Big Jay Oakerson 26:38 Dave, you make me so mad. Dave's never worked out a day in his fucking life. No. He's just... There's gotta be a few. (sighs)

Joe Rogan 26:45 But he looks good.

Big Jay Oakerson 26:46 (laughs) Yeah, he looks good. He's handsome.

Joe Rogan 26:47 My point was Ari got close. He got close to me. He wasn't even working out. That's how crazy Ari is.

Big Jay Oakerson 26:53 And then you have to deal with the fact that you're doing this publicly and you can't allow Ari to beat you at this thing.

Joe Rogan 26:58 I wasn't allowing Bert. If Ari beat me, I would've sen- mow, man. I woulda, I woulda said, "Wow, man. That is really, really impressive." But Bert, there was no fucking way.

Big Jay Oakerson 27:07 (laughs) If Bert wins you have to quit.

Joe Rogan 27:09 No way. Tom, if Tom beat me I'd be like, "Dude, you did it, man. Wow. I wish I won, but you won." Bert, no way. There's no way.

Big Jay Oakerson 27:15 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 27:16 We're going to hell.

Big Jay Oakerson 27:16 You just leave, we never hear from you again. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 27:19 Going, going to the dark lands. I'm wearing that monitor on me all day long.

Big Jay Oakerson 27:22 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 27:22 I'm just gonna be lifting weights everywhere I go.

Big Jay Oakerson 27:24 How far back was Bert in the standings?

Joe Rogan 27:26 Fuck, last.

Big Jay Oakerson 27:27 Dead last? (laughs)

Joe Rogan 27:28 Of course, he came in last. He's barely working out. He's talking shit.

Big Jay Oakerson 27:31 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 27:31 If he wins, he wins.

Big Jay Oakerson 27:33 What did he do? Was it a marathon he ran or something?

Joe Rogan 27:35 Mm-hmm.

Big Jay Oakerson 27:35 Half-marathon? Or it was a full one?

Joe Rogan 27:36 No, no, no. He ran a full marathon. And he ran it-

Big Jay Oakerson 27:38 That, I mean, that is pretty impressive. Yes. That's insane.

Joe Rogan 27:40 Look, Bert's tough. All bullshit aside, like, Bert talks t- tremendous amounts of shit, that's why I didn't wanna lose to him. But Bert's tough.

Big Jay Oakerson 27:46 I think he also talks shit to sorta set the expectation for himself to... 'Cause if he says it-

Joe Rogan 27:50 Sure.

Big Jay Oakerson 27:50 ... he's gonna fucking have to stick to it. That's a very Lewis thing. Lewis, Lewis speaks very... We always talk about he speaks very, uh, declarative about things.

Joe Rogan 27:57 Yeah.

Big Jay Oakerson 27:58 And I'm like, "Why do you do that if you know..." 'Cause I hold myself to that standard. If I say I'm gonna lose weight publicly and then I don't, everyone gets to call me a fucking phony.

Joe Rogan 28:05 Yeah.

Big Jay Oakerson 28:05 And if I, if I keep it in my head, I probably will be more likely to skip the gym or whatever else it is, so...

Joe Rogan 28:11 That's really wise. That's really wise.

Big Jay Oakerson 28:13 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 28:13 That's a good strategy.

Big Jay Oakerson 28:14 Yes, Joe. If you fail, it works for better podcasting.

Joe Rogan 28:16 Yeah, that too.

Big Jay Oakerson 28:16 It's also true. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 28:18 That too. And it's like public acknowledgment of your failings-

Big Jay Oakerson 28:20 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 28:20 ... when it comes to, like, little goals that you set for yourself. It's like lets everybody know, "Hey, man, this is not easy to do."

Big Jay Oakerson 28:25 Well, we're comics and y- dude, we live in a social media generation. It's, uh, it's all, like, you need that... I need people to tell me, "Dude, you're losing weight." And when they stop telling me that, I get fat again, and then they're like, "Oh, you're getting fat." And then I start losing weight again, I, and I'm... It's almost that the attention is sorta what motivates me. I need something beyond just being healthy. It is. It's like failing-

Joe Rogan 28:44 But how much time, how much time have you spent researching, like, different methods of losing weight? And how much, uh, you looked into intermittent fasting?

Big Jay Oakerson 28:51 Yeah, I've done inte- dude, I've done... I've been obsessed with it, dude.

Joe Rogan 28:53 But do you do it? Do you do it?

Big Jay Oakerson 28:54 I wanna try that. But I never... I don't... But I still don't fully understand what it is.

Joe Rogan 28:56 It's simple. You just have a small feeding window. Like, uh, for me, I, I like to fast... I f- I feel at my best when I'm fasting 14 hours. So what I'll do is, (smacks lips) you know, if I eat at 8:00 PM, then I eat at 10:00 AM the next day. It's not hard.

Big Jay Oakerson 29:11 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 29:11 It's pretty easy.

Big Jay Oakerson 29:11 I was doing 12:00 PM to 7:00 PM I was eating. I could eat from 12:00 PM to 7:00 PM, um, but I wasn't really eating healthy things. What I was doing... Why, Louis? When I was doing the intermittent fasting-

Joe Rogan 29:22 Why?

Big Jay Oakerson 29:22 ... I was eating shitty. What I'm better at is if I just cut out most of the carbs, only fruit and shit like that, but if I cut out all the carbs and the burgers and, and the fucking bread and the pasta and the rice, I can manage that because I can get creative. And if I'm in the mood for pizza, I can figure out a, you know, a, a low-carb version of pizza.

Joe Rogan 29:38 Yeah.

Big Jay Oakerson 29:39 You know, cauliflower crust or whatever it is. Oh, gay.

Joe Rogan 29:41 Yeah. (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 29:42 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 29:42 You know what you should do, man?

Big Jay Oakerson 29:42 Shi- calm pizza. It's really delicious.

Joe Rogan 29:44 Listen, do all those things, but also lift weights.

Big Jay Oakerson 29:46 Yeah, I have been. I just started again.

Joe Rogan 29:48 Yeah.

Big Jay Oakerson 29:48 Like two weeks ago.

Joe Rogan 29:48 That's, that's a big one. But lifting weights is huge. It burns a shit ton of calories. And more importantly, when your body has more muscle, then your body burns more calories. So you could eat the same amount of food and you lose weight.

Big Jay Oakerson 29:59 You could do all that or, Louis, I know you just fist fought a comedian.

Joe Rogan 30:03 (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 30:03 "Bring, bring me..."

Joe Rogan 30:04 When I say lose weight, you mean you'll lose body fat.

Big Jay Oakerson 30:06 Joe, you eat, like, tons of meat.

Joe Rogan 30:07 I eat a lot of meat.

Dave Smith 30:09 Do you ever get-

Joe Rogan 30:09 Yeah.

Dave Smith 30:09 ... have you gotten gout, uh, stuff, ever?

Joe Rogan 30:11 No. I don't think gout's from meat. Isn't that like a wine disease? What do you get gout from?

Dave Smith 30:15 Meat.

Big Jay Oakerson 30:15 My-

Joe Rogan 30:16 I have a friend who had gout.

Dave Smith 30:16 A lot of meat, e- uh, meat and beer.

Big Jay Oakerson 30:17 I didn't even know. It's in your feet?

Joe Rogan 30:18 No.

Dave Smith 30:18 It's in your toe. It hits... It's a, like... Your fucking right big toe. It sucks.

Joe Rogan 30:22 Wow.

Big Jay Oakerson 30:22 'Cause from sitting in j- a chair for too long-

Joe Rogan 30:24 I think-

Big Jay Oakerson 30:24 ... and eating too much meat, I think it's all those things.

Joe Rogan 30:26 I think it can get your heel, too. Doesn't it fuck your heels up, too?

Dave Smith 30:28 Maybe. I don't know. I o-... I only had it heel tw-...

Joe Rogan 30:30 I think it's just, like, an overall-

Dave Smith 30:30 I had it hit twice, ever, in my toe. It was awful.

Big Jay Oakerson 30:33 Oh, you had gout?

Dave Smith 30:34 Yeah. But I was, like-

Big Jay Oakerson 30:35 That is-

Dave Smith 30:35 And by the way, it would hurt so much, that when I went to the doctor, I was like, "I'll take..." 'Cause there's a... You know, you can get medicine for it, s- every day you take, so you don't get it. And I would've absolutely taken that, is how much it hurt. And they go, "No, you don't, like, have, like, a condition." You know what I mean?

Big Jay Oakerson 30:47 Okay.

Dave Smith 30:47 It's... I think I just... I went to, like, a festival of concerts one weekend, and just ate a bunch of shit.

Big Jay Oakerson 30:51 You had a... You were all- you were a little gouty.

Joe Rogan 30:52 Here's the definition.

Dave Smith 30:53 Yeah, I gouted up.

Joe Rogan 30:54 Here's the definition. Gout occurs when urate crystals accumulate in your joint, causing inflammation and intense pain of a gout attack. Urate crystals can form when you have high levels of uric acid in the- in your blood. Your body produces uric acid when it breaks down purines, substances that are found naturally in your body.

Dave Smith 31:11 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 31:11 Huh.

Dave Smith 31:11 I got piss blood.

Joe Rogan 31:12 That still didn't answer my question.

Big Jay Oakerson 31:14 (laughs)

Dave Smith 31:14 Piss blood.

Joe Rogan 31:14 What's the main cause? Here it is.

Dave Smith 31:15 I got pee blood.

Big Jay Oakerson 31:16 Ease up on the uric acid.

Joe Rogan 31:17 Certain foods. Meat, poultry, seafood. Hmm. C- chemical p- compounds that are h- high amounts in certain foods, like meat, poultry, and seafood. That's interesting.

Big Jay Oakerson 31:26 I think you also have to be fat.

Joe Rogan 31:27 Hyperuremia.

Big Jay Oakerson 31:28 You- do non-fat people get gout?

Dave Smith 31:30 No.

Joe Rogan 31:30 No, no, no, no, no.

Big Jay Oakerson 31:30 Yeah.

Dave Smith 31:30 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 31:30 Yeah, my friend was non-fat. Um, hyperuricemia.

Dave Smith 31:35 It sounds like something that a (laughs) fat person should only get, though.

Big Jay Oakerson 31:37 Dude, I lied. I was on a flight yesterday, and I lied. And, uh... Because we, we were on the runway for two and a half hours. (laughs) And I was just getting really impatient. I was like, "I'm fucking hungry." I- I mean (laughs) ... I made up that I was hyperglycemic, to get food. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 31:51 (laughs)

Dave Smith 31:51 (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 31:51 I literally... Like, I b-... I buzzed the thing, and they wouldn't come. So eventually, I started just, like, waving like a madman. And Mike Finola, who's a friend of ours, a comic, he was a few rows up. That's how he knew I was on a plane, 'cause I was being a lunatic.

Dave Smith 32:02 Mm-hmm.

Big Jay Oakerson 32:02 And I was like, "We've been on here forever. I'm, I'm, I'm hyperglycemic. I need food right now." (laughs) And they had to, like, go get me orange juice. It was the most fucking embarrassing thing.

Dave Smith 32:10 (laughs) Shit, like, like, "Here, suck a lemon." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 32:13 (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 32:13 Keep getting me things. (laughs)

Dave Smith 32:15 (sucks fingers)

Big Jay Oakerson 32:16 Dude, two and a half hours outta goddamn runway.

Dave Smith 32:18 When you're angry on a plane that's not going anywhere, it's... I'm blown away by the amount of rules. Like, what... I've been... W- we've been at the gate for, like, two hours before. I'm like, "Can I just go back into the airport?" And they're like, "No." Like, it doesn't make any sense that you can.

Big Jay Oakerson 32:30 Can you leave and not, like, take the flight? Could you be like, "I want... I'm off. I'm going-"

Dave Smith 32:34 Yes.

Joe Rogan 32:34 I think you can, but it's a big deal.

Dave Smith 32:35 ... unless the door's closed.

Big Jay Oakerson 32:36 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 32:36 But it's a big deal. If you wanna leave, that's a big deal.

Big Jay Oakerson 32:40 You're probably-

Dave Smith 32:40 But as a Puerto Rican, if you do leave, Luis, you have to twerk on your... I don't know if you watch those videos, when people leave planes. They go, "Fuck y'all."

Big Jay Oakerson 32:45 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 32:45 "Fuck."

Dave Smith 32:46 (laughs) They always twerk their way out.

Big Jay Oakerson 32:47 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 32:48 You will get put on a list, for sure.

Big Jay Oakerson 32:50 If you leave-

Joe Rogan 32:50 They will check up your asshole every time you fly on a plane.

Dave Smith 32:53 Well, Luis already has that problem because he's-

Big Jay Oakerson 32:54 Well, me and Luis ƒ going there.

Dave Smith 32:55 ... last time, me and Ken Flu-

Joe Rogan 32:56 Am I guessing? Am I guessing?

Big Jay Oakerson 32:58 Uh-

Joe Rogan 32:58 Do you think that... They would probably check you.

Big Jay Oakerson 32:59 I don't know.

Joe Rogan 32:59 From now on, if you decided, "I want off the plane right now," and they had to stop-

Dave Smith 33:02 And if you make a scene and all? Yeah, probably.

Joe Rogan 33:04 Yeah, and they had to pull the plane back in to... They'd be like, "This guy?"

Big Jay Oakerson 33:06 Oh, that's my guess, yeah-

Dave Smith 33:07 I don't think you can get o-... I don't, I don't think you can get o-...

Big Jay Oakerson 33:09 ... is you need something.

Dave Smith 33:09 I don't think you're not gonna get off unless you make a scene. You won't get off once it's away from the gate. I'm talking about-

Joe Rogan 33:13 Right.

Dave Smith 33:13 ... when they stay at the gate, and they never actually pull away from, like, the, uh...

Joe Rogan 33:16 When you're on a plane, you're just hoping everyone can keep it together.

Big Jay Oakerson 33:20 Yeah.

Dave Smith 33:20 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 33:20 That's what you're hoping, just hoping, everyone can keep it together.

Dave Smith 33:22 What's your craziest plane experience?

Joe Rogan 33:24 Oh, wow.

Big Jay Oakerson 33:24 I've never had a bad one.

Dave Smith 33:25 I hate f-... I hate flying, and I n-... and I've had plenty of weird ones.

Joe Rogan 33:28 Two dudes did almost get after it once on a plane, over overhead space. This one guy was claiming-

Big Jay Oakerson 33:35 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 33:35 ... the, the space overhead for him.

Big Jay Oakerson 33:37 There's only four or five arguments you could have on a plane. (laughs)

Dave Smith 33:40 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 33:40 It was-

Big Jay Oakerson 33:40 Overhead space, middle person gets both armrests. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 33:43 It was-

Big Jay Oakerson 33:43 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 33:43 It was like, one guy was on this side, right? But his shit was all filled up, so he opens up the bin on the other side and puts his bag in and sits down. And the guy who was behind him, that was his side. He goes, "Hey, man, that's my storage space." He goes, "No, it's not." He goes, "It's storage space. I put my bag in there first. I was in... I was ahead of you. I put my bag in there." He's like, "No, you have yours, and I have mine, and yours is full," and he goes to grab his shit.

Big Jay Oakerson 34:09 (gasps)

Joe Rogan 34:09 And the guy, and the guy goes, "Hey, man, don't touch my fucking bag."

Big Jay Oakerson 34:11 That guy is right, by the way.

Joe Rogan 34:12 Yeah.

Big Jay Oakerson 34:12 The guy who took the, the other storage space.

Joe Rogan 34:12 Yeah.

Big Jay Oakerson 34:12 You don't have... It's not... It's not even personalized storage space.

Joe Rogan 34:12 It's not a signed storage space.

Big Jay Oakerson 34:12 Fuck off, dude.

Joe Rogan 34:12 It's just storage space.

Big Jay Oakerson 34:12 Sorry.

Dave Smith 34:12 Well, in first class, I wish one of those degenerate fucks from the back would try to put some shit in my storage space.

Joe Rogan 34:12 (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 34:12 (laughs)

Dave Smith 34:12 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 34:12 It was-

Big Jay Oakerson 34:12 Overhead space, middle person gets both armrests. (laughs)

Dave Smith 34:12 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 34:12 It was like one guy was on this side, right? But his shit was all filled up, so he opens up the bin on the other side and puts his bag in and sits down. And the guy who was behind him, that was his side, he goes, "Hey, man, that's my storage space." He goes, "No, it's not." He goes, "It's storage space. I put my bag in there first. I was in... I was ahead of you. I put my bag in there." He's like, "No, you have yours, and I have mine, and yours is full," and he goes to grab his shit.

Big Jay Oakerson 34:12 (gasps)

Joe Rogan 34:12 And the guy goes, "Hey, man, don't touch my fucking bag."

Big Jay Oakerson 34:12 That guy is right, by the way.

Joe Rogan 34:12 Yeah.

Big Jay Oakerson 34:12 The guy who took the, the other storage space. You don't have... It's not... It's not even personalized storage space.

Joe Rogan 34:17 Yeah. It's not a signed storage space.

Big Jay Oakerson 34:17 Fuck off, dude.

Joe Rogan 34:18 It's just storage space.

Big Jay Oakerson 34:19 Sorry.

Dave Smith 34:19 Well, in first class, I wish one of those degenerate fucks from the back would try to put some shit in my storage space.

Joe Rogan 34:25 (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 34:25 (laughs)

Dave Smith 34:25 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 34:25 (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 34:25 I flew first class one time-

Joe Rogan 34:27 They almost... They almost went after it, though. The, the waitress had to cut them off. She cut them off. We were in the air, man.

Big Jay Oakerson 34:31 The waitress? (laughs) Yeah.

Joe Rogan 34:33 We're in the air, and they're going at it again. So it's like we... They're, they were going at it when they were about to... The plane was about to take off, and then they got through it, and then in the air, they were going at it again, the waitress, the stewardess. She cuts them off, wouldn't let them have alcohol, but it was tense. So it's like, you know, you have to keep an eye on them.

Big Jay Oakerson 34:49 I was gonna say, did you keep your eye on them, like, the whole time?

Dave Smith 34:51 You had to rest the flight.

Joe Rogan 34:51 She made me. The lady made me. She's like, "You're gonna help me, right?" I'm like, "Jesus Christ, lady."

Big Jay Oakerson 34:55 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 34:56 "I don't think anything's gonna happen."

Big Jay Oakerson 34:57 Well, yesterday-

Joe Rogan 34:58 "They seem like they're all right."

Big Jay Oakerson 34:58 ... the woman behind me, as I was complaining, she was like this (laughs) . I was like, I was like, "Yeah, you know." And he was like, "Well, what do you want?" She goes, "I was like, some orange juice, some coffee, uh, maybe a KIND bar. That'd be nice." (laughs) And the woman behind me goes... Uh, she said, like, loud enough for me to hear, she goes, "Just get him some orange juice." And I went... I turned around, and I was like, "Mind your business, lady."

Joe Rogan 35:16 (laughs) Yeah.

Dave Smith 35:16 Shut the fuck up, lady.

Joe Rogan 35:17 Hey, what are those guys, those undercover dudes that are on planes? Supposed-

Dave Smith 35:20 Air marshals?

Joe Rogan 35:21 Air marshals, right? So if you're an air marshal-

Big Jay Oakerson 35:23 S-

Joe Rogan 35:23 ... and you see these two, two guys getting after it a little bit, just talking shit, grabbing bags, just being-

Dave Smith 35:27 Shoot them.

Joe Rogan 35:28 ... dicky to each other.

Dave Smith 35:29 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 35:29 When do you move in? 'Cause you don't want everybody to know you're an air marshal.

Big Jay Oakerson 35:33 Yeah.

Dave Smith 35:33 You're like, "They don't have a bomb."

Joe Rogan 35:34 Yeah.

Dave Smith 35:34 "You guys gotta work this out."

Joe Rogan 35:34 They're like, "You fucking pussies are just gonna push each other. Like, you're not... You know, you guys aren't terrorists. What am I doing here?"

Dave Smith 35:39 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 35:39 "You're also just a, a, an architect and a fucking-"

Big Jay Oakerson 35:42 If somebody's willing to have a fight on a plane-

Joe Rogan 35:43 "... guy who's mad as hell and they're angry."

Big Jay Oakerson 35:44 ... and give up their entire fuck... It's such a pain in the ass.

Dave Smith 35:46 (sighs)

Big Jay Oakerson 35:46 What you're gonna deal with to get into a fistfight on a plane-

Dave Smith 35:49 Oh, my God.

Big Jay Oakerson 35:50 I, I don't know how many different crimes it is. I have n-... But if they pull this fucking plane over-

Dave Smith 35:54 (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 35:54 ... you are fucked, dude. You have to really wanna fight somebody-

Dave Smith 35:57 Yeah.

Big Jay Oakerson 35:57 ... in order to do that, because you'll deal with a lot of shit (laughs) -

Dave Smith 36:00 You're going to-

Big Jay Oakerson 36:00 ... before you get to that point.

Dave Smith 36:00 On a plane? You're going to, like, Guantanamo or something-

Big Jay Oakerson 36:03 Yeah, dude, you-

Dave Smith 36:03 ... when they arrest you. You're, you're, you're fucked.

Joe Rogan 36:04 Hey, what are those guys, those undercover dudes that are on planes? Supposed-

Dave Smith 36:14 Air marshals?

Joe Rogan 36:14 Air marshals, right? So if you're an air marshal and you see these two, two guys getting after it a little bit, just talking shit, grabbing bags, just being-

Dave Smith 36:14 Shoot them.

Joe Rogan 36:14 ... dicky to each other.

Dave Smith 36:15 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 36:15 When do you move in? 'Cause you don't want everybody to know you're an air marshal.

Big Jay Oakerson 36:16 You're like, "They don't have a bomb."

Joe Rogan 36:19 Yeah.

Big Jay Oakerson 36:19 "You guys gotta work this out."

Joe Rogan 36:21 They're like, "You fucking pussies are just gonna push each other. Like, you're not... You know, you guys aren't terrorists. What am I doing here?"

Dave Smith 36:22 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 36:22 "You're also just a, a, an architect and a fucking-"

Luis J. Gomez 36:22 She's fi- I don't know if she catch her boyfriend cheating on the plane or something. (laughing) It was just something like that, weird.

Big Jay Oakerson 36:26 No, no.

Joe Rogan 36:26 And she just ... But she got super loud and it became, like, a huge scene where everybody was listening to her talking to him. It was like, oh my God, this is so crazy. (laughing)

Luis J. Gomez 36:34 I mean, when they were dragging the Asian guy out of the plane is one of the funniest videos of all time.

Joe Rogan 36:37 That was crazy. That guy didn't even do anything.

Luis J. Gomez 36:38 He just went, "I want to go home."

Joe Rogan 36:40 They wanted him to give up his seat.

Big Jay Oakerson 36:40 He just wouldn't leave.

Luis J. Gomez 36:41 He started chanting, "I want to go home."

Joe Rogan 36:43 But-

Luis J. Gomez 36:43 It was so sad.

Big Jay Oakerson 36:44 That-

Joe Rogan 36:44 They would legitimately have to drag me ... If they were trying to get me to give up my seat, they would have to drag me out of the plane.

Luis J. Gomez 36:49 Well that's not gonna go good for you.

Big Jay Oakerson 36:50 Imagine thinking that they can do that. Imagine thinking they could do that. "We're just gonna grab you physically and take you off the show." Like, come on. You're- you're- you're on the plane, the plane's about to take off. "We're gonna grab you and just pull you out of there." What?

Luis J. Gomez 37:01 And did he say where and when?

Joe Rogan 37:03 Oh, he's g- I think they probably just settled with him. They probably just gave him a ton of money and said, "Shut the fuck up."

Big Jay Oakerson 37:08 Because at what point ... It is your private-

Joe Rogan 37:09 Let's find out what happened to that guy.

Big Jay Oakerson 37:10 ... private business. They do have security. I mean, at what point does somebody wants to leave your private business ... I'm sure it's within the, the, the contract that you fucking ... the terms of service for the ticket that they can do that. So-

Joe Rogan 37:20 Do you think so, where the guy's already sitting down?

Luis J. Gomez 37:22 Well, he said no- Yes. ... after they asked him to leave a lot of times.

Big Jay Oakerson 37:26 But-

Luis J. Gomez 37:26 So I don't know what the law is. I mean ...

Joe Rogan 37:28 But if it's his ticket and he bought the ticket, you can just decide if the guy hasn't done anything wrong?

Big Jay Oakerson 37:32 Through the terms of service-

Luis J. Gomez 37:33 It's a ridiculous ... Yeah, exactly. You're right, Louis.

Joe Rogan 37:35 That sucks.

Big Jay Oakerson 37:35 It's a fucking dumb line. They can do anything they want, anything they want.

Luis J. Gomez 37:39 Well, what happened is they got destroyed on social media for, like, weeks afterward and they apologized and were like, "We're changing our policy." And all this dumb shit.

Joe Rogan 37:46 Sort of like Starbucks. That's why homeless people are there all the time.

Luis J. Gomez 37:49 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Big Jay Oakerson 37:49 I hate it. Don't even get me fucking started, Joe.

Joe Rogan 37:51 Starbucks, they're American homeless camps.

Luis J. Gomez 37:51 American Airlines says officially, "Thank God that guy wasn't black." (laughing)

Big Jay Oakerson 37:57 I fucking ... I, I live in Harlem and the Starbucks in Harlem, I mean, it looks like a bus depot. It's crazy. It's just lines of people just sitting there, charging their cell phones, not ordering anything.

Luis J. Gomez 38:06 Well, it's because they ha- Their new policy is everyone who walks in's a customer, right? So-

Big Jay Oakerson 38:10 Yeah, they're a customer as soon as they walk in the door.

Joe Rogan 38:11 This is what's hilarious. The fucking ... All ... It happened because of one bad PR thing.

Big Jay Oakerson 38:16 Philly.

Luis J. Gomez 38:16 Yep, yep.

Joe Rogan 38:17 In Philly, when these two black dudes were just trying to sit down and chill out at, at Starbucks and someone decided to remove them from the premises.

Big Jay Oakerson 38:25 Yeah, but look-

Luis J. Gomez 38:26 Now it's like a Balmoral.

Joe Rogan 38:27 If you weren't there, you don't know. Ah.

Big Jay Oakerson 38:28 I'm just saying I'm with Dave.

Joe Rogan 38:30 I don't know what anyone's ... I'm just being-

Big Jay Oakerson 38:30 I'm with Dave on this.

Joe Rogan 38:30 I'm not getting debate.

Luis J. Gomez 38:30 Here's what happened.

Joe Rogan 38:32 I know that you have opinions on this.

Luis J. Gomez 38:34 Look, look. (laughing)

Joe Rogan 38:34 All I'm saying is-

Big Jay Oakerson 38:35 The, the libertarian perspective is-

Luis J. Gomez 38:36 They might have been dicks. Starbucks might have been dicks. But what I know is, they, they asked them to leave, they called the cops. The cops weren't going to arrest them. The cops told them, "You have to leave." And they still refused to leave. And the cops were like ...

Big Jay Oakerson 38:48 And also, those guys-

Luis J. Gomez 38:49 And then they didn't ... Then they let them go. They literally just cuffed them, took them to the station, and then were like, "Go." They didn't charge them with anything.

Big Jay Oakerson 38:52 Those guys also, they also tried to order Four Loko, so ...

Joe Rogan 38:56 Wah, wah, wah.

Big Jay Oakerson 38:57 They were out. They-

Joe Rogan 38:58 Okay, but here's what I know. I know that we don't know what happened.

Luis J. Gomez 39:01 Yes. No, I agree with that completely.

Joe Rogan 39:02 Right.

Luis J. Gomez 39:02 You don't know ... It was a human interaction.

Joe Rogan 39:04 Yes.

Luis J. Gomez 39:04 You don't know who the cunt was there.

Joe Rogan 39:06 Right.

Luis J. Gomez 39:06 It could have been them.

Joe Rogan 39:07 Very true.

Luis J. Gomez 39:07 It could have been the person working there.

Big Jay Oakerson 39:08 I know what fucking happened.

Joe Rogan 39:09 Who knows? Very-

Big Jay Oakerson 39:09 I know exactly what happened.

Joe Rogan 39:10 What do you think happened?

Big Jay Oakerson 39:11 These two guys walked in, they didn't buy anything. They were like, "Oh yeah, you guys gotta buy something." They were like, "No, we don't." They're like, "Well, you gotta leave then." They're like, "No, we don't." And it was this weird little Mexican standoff between a fucking dumb idiot Starbucks employee and two dumb idiots that wouldn't leave a Starbucks.

Luis J. Gomez 39:23 Well, here's the diff- Here's this story, right? Everything was great. A Mexican standoff between blacks and some Chinese idiot.

Joe Rogan 39:28 (laughing)

Big Jay Oakerson 39:29 (laughing)

Joe Rogan 39:29 Do you think that the influx of homeless people is bad for their business? Do you think it's, it's hurting business at all?

Luis J. Gomez 39:34 Absolutely.

Big Jay Oakerson 39:35 I mean, 100%.

Joe Rogan 39:36 Imagine, like, if that one move from that one store, if the wings of the butterfly from that one little incident creates, like, a, a dip in the value of the company.

Luis J. Gomez 39:46 I feel like people wouldn't want to hang out there as long, and you'd probably buy more shit if you, like, stay there. There's probably people who go up online a couple times if they're there, you know, writing or something.

Big Jay Oakerson 39:53 You don't want to write your script on your laptop while a guy's shitting his pants next to you.

Joe Rogan 39:57 Yeah, listen. I know we're four morons, but let's solve this. Like, why are there, why are there so many homeless people and what could be done?

Luis J. Gomez 40:03 I think that's a real tough one, man.

Big Jay Oakerson 40:05 I re- Uh, you can-

Luis J. Gomez 40:05 That's a- That's like ... The thing what they used to do is just institutionalize them.

Joe Rogan 40:08 Right.

Luis J. Gomez 40:09 Just fucking grab them and throw them and there's some problems with that.

Joe Rogan 40:11 For sure, yeah. There's problems with that too.

Luis J. Gomez 40:12 But, because who decides who's worthy of being institutionalized, you know?

Joe Rogan 40:16 Right.

Luis J. Gomez 40:16 We could hunt them at night like nutria. (laughing)

Joe Rogan 40:20 Do they hunt those at night?

Luis J. Gomez 40:21 It was, yeah, they just go around with the thing and go shooting-

Joe Rogan 40:23 With a spotlight?

Luis J. Gomez 40:23 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 40:24 Didn't Natal do that on a show?

Luis J. Gomez 40:25 Yeah.

Big Jay Oakerson 40:25 He did. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 40:26 He did that on Insomnia. That's right, on S- Insomniacs. He went nutria hunting. Yeah, man.

Luis J. Gomez 40:30 It's bad out here, man.

Joe Rogan 40:31 It's bad. It's getting worse.

Luis J. Gomez 40:31 We got it in New York, but you guys got it, like, real bad out here.

Joe Rogan 40:34 You ain't seen shit. You ain't seen shit until you go downtown. Downtown LA makes everything ... E- e- every underpass-

Luis J. Gomez 40:39 They post up.

Joe Rogan 40:39 Every underpass in LA now, y- you're, you're subject to see tents.

Luis J. Gomez 40:43 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 40:43 They're all over the place. All over through the valley.

Big Jay Oakerson 40:45 Homeless people in LA and New York are pretty friendly though. They're not, they're not that aggressive.

Joe Rogan 40:50 Dude.

Big Jay Oakerson 40:50 I was in Seattle. Those fuckers will come up to you and they will go at you. They want, like, they want money.

Luis J. Gomez 40:56 But they're not doing as good.

Big Jay Oakerson 40:56 If you don't give them money, they will, like, give you an attitude about it.

Luis J. Gomez 41:00 Everywhere else, dude. Like at Cleveland, horrible, homeless. Like every other city besides LA and New York had-

Big Jay Oakerson 41:04 San Fran?

Luis J. Gomez 41:05 Yeah. They're really-

Big Jay Oakerson 41:06 San Fran, it's like they're-

Luis J. Gomez 41:07 Aggressive. Shit, the, the Canadian homeless are the shittiest and most aggressive.

Joe Rogan 41:11 Do you remember this from when you were a kid?

Luis J. Gomez 41:12 Not like this.

Joe Rogan 41:12 What ... How much homelessness was around when we ... When we were kids, you would see those boxes on the side of the road and it was usually someone who was so fucked up that, you know, they, they just couldn't go anywhere and they'd have a box and they smelled like shit. They were covered up. But we're seeing, like, different levels of homeless.

Luis J. Gomez 41:28 Did you grow up suburban?

Big Jay Oakerson 41:29 Yes. Yeah.

Luis J. Gomez 41:29 You grew up suburban? Yeah, I think that's why. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 41:31 Yeah.

Big Jay Oakerson 41:31 I mean, I grew up in Brooklyn and I saw homeless people all the time. But I never saw anything ... And I haven't seen it in person, but I've never seen anything like the camps and stuff that I've seen out there.

Joe Rogan 41:38 Right. Yeah.

Big Jay Oakerson 41:39 Like, that's insane.

Joe Rogan 41:40 Yeah, that's the new thing. Yeah, that's what's new is, like, the underpasses too. When I w- when I first started coming here in '94, there was never any tents on the underpasses. At least I don't remember there being.

Luis J. Gomez 41:49 I think now there's, like, almost ... Some people think it's cool. I live in East Village, New York and there is so many just kids that you're like ... You're a phone call away from, like, solving this problem. Like, you kinda want to be out here, like doing drugs.

Joe Rogan 42:03 They were. They were always there by NYU and shit.

Luis J. Gomez 42:05 Just like shoes and ... Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 42:05 They're kind of just like ... They're ... It's literally like some dwee-

Luis J. Gomez 42:07 It's the heroin kids. They're all, like, punk rockers.

Joe Rogan 42:09 20, 20-year-old, 19-year-old white kids.

Luis J. Gomez 42:11 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 42:12 Who are clearly on drugs.

Luis J. Gomez 42:12 Well, now it's like there's like 20 though.

Joe Rogan 42:14 But you feel, but you feel like there's-

Luis J. Gomez 42:14 There's a group that's 20, is what I'm saying. It's like they're big, like ...

Big Jay Oakerson 42:16 But I don't think that those kids are a phone c- Also, I b- I bet you those kids are from really, really fucked up situations at home and they're into drugs and-

Luis J. Gomez 42:21 Some. Some.

Big Jay Oakerson 42:22 I think more often than not, they're probably dealing with some fucked up shit at home.

Luis J. Gomez 42:25 Sure.

Big Jay Oakerson 42:25 You don't end up on the streets to ...... to, you know, rebel against your mom, your good mom and dad, most of the time. I'm sure it happens.

Dave Smith 42:31 Also, also watching a guy, like, you know, who just looks like, uh, as cruddy as homeless can be, like charging his phone on one of those stations is pretty funny. Like-

Big Jay Oakerson 42:38 (laughs)

Dave Smith 42:39 ... everyone just has a cellphone.

Big Jay Oakerson 42:39 Well, that's what we have in New York.

42:41 Yeah. Where's your address for billing?

Dave Smith 42:42 Yeah.

Big Jay Oakerson 42:43 How is this working?

42:44 Do you- (laughs) That's what I'm saying, I'm like, a lot of us kids had that too. Yeah, who's billing us?

Dave Smith 42:47 How does, how does Verizon get you the bill every month?

Big Jay Oakerson 42:49 What-

Dave Smith 42:49 There's no prepaid phones anymore, it's like a different country.

Big Jay Oakerson 42:51 What they installed in New York is on every corner now, they have like a big station. Right? And on that station, you can do literally free phone calls. You could just dial a number, do a... It's a speakerphone phone call, you can charge your phone, and it has, like a wifi station. So everyone on the street has wifi in New York, and you're like, "This is a great idea." Except now, there's always a homeless person literally plugged into it, and that's now their power source for their little homeless thing.

43:14 It, I don't believe after the first week-

Dave Smith 43:15 When they had the screens, they were jerking off outside.

Big Jay Oakerson 43:17 They, they, they took-

Dave Smith 43:17 They didn't take the screens out of them.

Big Jay Oakerson 43:18 They took the screens off. They, there was about a week after they came out where you'd see regular people using them, and now it's only homeless people.

Dave Smith 43:25 Yeah.

Big Jay Oakerson 43:25 Like, nobody else touches them.

Joe Rogan 43:28 If you had a look at a graph of all the crimes that were committed using burner phones, like 7-Eleven burner phones. Like, how many b- 7-Eleven burner phones are used by poor people, and how many of them are used to commit crimes? Like, serious espionage shit.

Big Jay Oakerson 43:45 I couldn't stop. (laughs)

43:45 Like, there was no in between?

43:46 (laughs)

43:46 Like, what is th- the... Like, I bet, I bet-

Dave Smith 43:47 I bet you there's a big overlap.

Big Jay Oakerson 43:48 ... yeah, bridge kids-

43:49 (laughs)

43:49 ... and international spies.

Joe Rogan 43:50 A fucking giant international crime tool that goes unreported. Burner phones, like 7-Eleven burner phones, where you get it, it's in the plastic, you pop it open, it's got an hour in it. (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 44:00 (laughs)

44:01 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 44:02 Like, who the fuck? (laughs) Who the fuck is using those things? Some of them are poor people, but-

Big Jay Oakerson 44:06 It's getting, I think it's getting more and more exclusively criminal.

Joe Rogan 44:09 Yeah.

Big Jay Oakerson 44:09 Even poor people are getting planes.

Dave Smith 44:10 It's like leaving an airplane. It's like leaving an airplane. If you buy a 7-Eleven phone, you're on a list.

Joe Rogan 44:14 But you could go to, like, Verizon and get a bottom of the line phone that's affordable, that's better than anything that existed, like, five years ago. Like, where, the way our technology is now, you don't have to spend... Like, what's a cheap, what's a cheap Android phone? If you were gonna get-

Big Jay Oakerson 44:28 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 44:28 You just wanna-

Big Jay Oakerson 44:29 You go to MetroPCS right now-

Joe Rogan 44:30 Yeah.

Big Jay Oakerson 44:30 ... get a free Android phone. Sign up for $40-

Joe Rogan 44:33 Right.

Big Jay Oakerson 44:34 ... and then you're out, you're out the door, and then you never have to pay it again because it's, it's prepaid.

Joe Rogan 44:38 Yeah, so you just have a certain amount of minutes, right?

Big Jay Oakerson 44:40 Well, no, it's unlimited. I have, I have a MetroPCS, guys. And I, uh-

Joe Rogan 44:44 (laughs)

Dave Smith 44:45 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 44:45 So, if you're a homeless person-

Big Jay Oakerson 44:46 But people hate on me. They make fun of me.

Dave Smith 44:47 Do you have the general insurance too? And you just do everything, it's a phone call away?

Big Jay Oakerson 44:50 The general.

Joe Rogan 44:50 (laughs)

Dave Smith 44:50 (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 44:51 Hey, hey, I pay six-

Dave Smith 44:52 The lowest online rates online. Go to the general service.

Big Jay Oakerson 44:54 $60 a month, I get everything unlimited. Fuck off. I don't understand why I would ever switch, besides for the fact that my friends make fun of me.

Dave Smith 45:01 Oh, so your phone works in places?

Big Jay Oakerson 45:02 It works everywhere.

Dave Smith 45:03 Yeah. You're doing some sort of a roaming thing, I guess.

Big Jay Oakerson 45:06 No, there's no roaming. There's no overage, overages, nothing. It's just better. There's... It really sounds like we're doing a fucking ad read for MetroPCS right now. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 45:13 It's one of the UFC sponsors.

Big Jay Oakerson 45:14 It really... I know it is.

45:15 Yeah.

45:16 But people make fun of you like you're hot garbage-

Joe Rogan 45:18 You gotta not tell people.

Big Jay Oakerson 45:20 Yeah.

45:20 People confuse you with the truth.

Joe Rogan 45:22 Then people can't handle the truth.

Big Jay Oakerson 45:22 Could you screenshot? If you, anytime I screenshot something, it says MetroPCS in the corner?

45:25 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 45:26 (laughs)

Dave Smith 45:26 Oh.

Big Jay Oakerson 45:26 I can't post pictures on Instagram.

45:27 Is that funny?

Dave Smith 45:27 You scratch it out and put Boost Mobile.

Big Jay Oakerson 45:29 (laughs)

Dave Smith 45:29 Or if you just added something that's not even that much better.

Big Jay Oakerson 45:31 Boost Mobile.

Joe Rogan 45:31 There's certain things that even if they're great, they're embarrassing.

Dave Smith 45:34 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 45:35 Right?

Dave Smith 45:35 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 45:35 Even if they're great, it's embarrassing that it's great. Like, I think Hyundai has a problem with these new cars that they're making, so they call- started calling them the Genesis.

Dave Smith 45:44 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 45:44 They stopped calling them Hyundais, 'cause people are like, "No, no, no, Hyundai is that car that costs r- it's real cheap, but it runs forever." That's a Hyundai. They're like, "No, no, no, Hyundai is luxury. We got this lu-" They're like, "Nope, nope, can't have both."

Big Jay Oakerson 45:54 Yeah, they got branded.

Joe Rogan 45:56 Can't have both. Yeah.

Dave Smith 45:56 They got it.

Joe Rogan 45:56 MetroPCS, even if it's the best service, you know, like the, the problem is like, any time anything's a bargain, even if it really is-

Dave Smith 46:04 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 46:04 ... a great deal, and MetroPCS seems like a great deal.

Big Jay Oakerson 46:07 (laughs) It is.

Joe Rogan 46:08 It does, uh, like any time a thing's a bargain, people don't want it. Like some people want the shit that costs a lot and is hard to get, right?

Big Jay Oakerson 46:13 Yeah, when I was a kid I, I remember I would, I just wouldn't get sneakers that weren't like Nikes or like...

46:19 Yeah.

46:20 E- even if they were comfortable sneakers, even if they were more expensive-

Joe Rogan 46:23 Yeah.

Big Jay Oakerson 46:23 ... it didn't matter. They had like a-

Joe Rogan 46:24 You felt like a loser.

Big Jay Oakerson 46:25 Yeah.

46:25 (laughs) Yeah.

46:25 I felt like a fucking idiot.

Dave Smith 46:27 You got home every day-

Big Jay Oakerson 46:28 And Adidas, you're like a rebel if you went Adidas.

46:30 Yeah. Now you wear grocery store sneakers.

46:33 (laughs)

46:33 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 46:33 (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 46:33 I don't give a shit now.

Dave Smith 46:34 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 46:34 It's funny how important it is when you're younger, though. It's very important.

Big Jay Oakerson 46:38 Yeah.

46:38 'Cause anything that could get you just ridiculed-

Joe Rogan 46:41 Yes. (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 46:41 ... when you were young, you had to be always conscious of.

Joe Rogan 46:44 Yes.

Big Jay Oakerson 46:44 Like you had to always be aware of what could fuck up your day.

Joe Rogan 46:46 Yes.

Dave Smith 46:46 I just don't th- there's not enough of a delineation between shitty stuff and like the midrange stuff, but I think like high end stuff tends to be like better quality and stuff.

Joe Rogan 46:54 Oh, yeah, for sure.

Dave Smith 46:54 I used to always shit on that with clothing and stuff or like my ex-wife I remember always was talking about pur- how much she spent on a purse, which I said is ridiculous. And she goes, "But it lasts forever." And to some degree, I still think it's ridiculous to do that for a purse, but my point is paying for the quality like does last longer, it's better.

Joe Rogan 47:09 Yeah.

Dave Smith 47:10 Things are made better. But the difference between like a knockoff fucking Louis Vuitton bag and like a bag you'd buy in like a store is like not much difference, you know what I mean?

Joe Rogan 47:19 Yeah, it's not like a fake Ferrari.

Dave Smith 47:20 Right, yeah, exactly.

Big Jay Oakerson 47:21 There's a huge difference between those bags, I think.

47:23 I don't remember us being in sync. My dad-

Joe Rogan 47:25 (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 47:25 ... my dad used to...

Joe Rogan 47:26 (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 47:26 ... we would just go to Bendis.

Dave Smith 47:27 He's into fashion.

Big Jay Oakerson 47:28 I'm just saying like the stitching. I mean, like I did, the chicken was a, a fashion chick. Yeah, there's definitely a huge difference between those bags.

Joe Rogan 47:34 Mm-hmm.

Dave Smith 47:34 Yeah.

Big Jay Oakerson 47:34 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Dave Smith 47:35 No, I'm agreeing 100%.

Big Jay Oakerson 47:36 On the high end, and I'm saying, but I'm just saying the difference between like a, when you'd buy at like JC Penney versus like a shitty one you'd buy on the street, there's not much difference in quality in that.

47:44 Yeah.

Dave Smith 47:44 Might as well just buy the fake Louis Vuitton.

Joe Rogan 47:47 Yeah, but if you were a kid and you didn't have like a good name brand sneaker, you were shamed and embarrassed.

Dave Smith 47:53 Oh, Bobas.

Big Jay Oakerson 47:54 Yeah.

Dave Smith 47:54 They called them the Bobas.

Big Jay Oakerson 47:55 I had Voits, I remember. When I was in the sixth grade, they were Voits, and it was, that was the last shitty sneaker I ever had. It was just V-O-I-T. Got them at C.H. Martens, which was the s- I mean, as shitty of a department store as you could possibly get. And, uh, I don't remember. Kids would just make fun of your shitty sneakers. It, it was terrible.

48:12 (laughs)

Dave Smith 48:12 I had Lottos.

Joe Rogan 48:13 You had-

Dave Smith 48:13 I had Lottos that had Velcro on the side that you could change the Lotto symbol different colors.

Joe Rogan 48:18 Lottos?

Dave Smith 48:18 Like a fat fucking cheerleader. I was dressed like a cheerleader to change the colors to go with my school spirit.

Joe Rogan 48:24 If you were, if you were like a runner, maybe you'd get away with New Balance.

Big Jay Oakerson 48:29 Yeah, there were people who wore New Balance when I was in high school. I feel like that was-

Joe Rogan 48:32 New Balance is like, "Okay. It's okay."

Big Jay Oakerson 48:33 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 48:33 "You're alternative. You're, you're ... It's a good quality shoe."

Big Jay Oakerson 48:36 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 48:36 "Okay."

Big Jay Oakerson 48:37 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 48:37 Marvin Hagler used to wear them. Like, "It's okay." Okay.

Big Jay Oakerson 48:39 If you had Asics Gels, people thought you had an arch problem.

Joe Rogan 48:41 Or you were a wrestler.

Big Jay Oakerson 48:43 Asics, yeah?

Joe Rogan 48:44 Yeah, Asics.

Big Jay Oakerson 48:44 I was a big wrest- oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 48:45 Wrestlers love Asics wrestling shoes.

Big Jay Oakerson 48:47 By the time high school came around, I kn- I knew well enough to just change my style. So I, so I wore, like, Airwalks in those shitty, like, skater ... They were like 45 bucks a pop.

Joe Rogan 48:57 Ah, good moves.

Big Jay Oakerson 48:57 Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was very smart.

Joe Rogan 48:59 Good moves, yeah.

Big Jay Oakerson 48:59 So I was a big JNCO Jean guy.

Joe Rogan 49:00 Well, you ... Converse Chucks never went out of style.

Big Jay Oakerson 49:03 Right.

Joe Rogan 49:04 Never. They never went out of style.

Big Jay Oakerson 49:05 Also, never been comfortable.

Joe Rogan 49:06 Now they're out of style? I loved them.

Dave Smith 49:07 You think they're comfortable? I, I have them.

Joe Rogan 49:09 Yeah, I love them.

Big Jay Oakerson 49:09 But I, I ... They're not comfortable.

Joe Rogan 49:10 I don't want smooshy ... I don't like smooshy shoes that much. Sometimes I do, but most the times I like it where it's very ... It's very little rubber. That's all it is. It's like, you may ... Imagine that those guys played basketball in those things back in the day. It's kind of crazy.

Big Jay Oakerson 49:22 Yeah, that's weird.

Joe Rogan 49:23 Doesn't seem like a lot of support. But maybe that's ... That they had stronger ankles that way or something.

Big Jay Oakerson 49:28 My mom tried to convince me that Chucks were cool and she was right.

Joe Rogan 49:30 They're cool.

Big Jay Oakerson 49:30 But this was when I was in the 6th grade.

Joe Rogan 49:32 Oh, they weren't cool?

Big Jay Oakerson 49:33 It wasn't. No, this was when Chucks had the, you know ... Converse was at the absolute bottom. They fucking ... Something happened.

Dave Smith 49:39 Well, here's the thing. It became cool again.

Joe Rogan 49:41 Now, it's not as-

Dave Smith 49:41 But it's not-

Joe Rogan 49:41 Yeah, it became cool again.

Dave Smith 49:42 I feel like Chuck Taylors-

Big Jay Oakerson 49:43 They were 27 bucks.

Dave Smith 49:44 I feel like Chuck Taylors were always in style.

Big Jay Oakerson 49:46 A little bit.

Dave Smith 49:46 Converse, like, just as a general brand. If you had just Converse sneakers-

Big Jay Oakerson 49:50 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Dave Smith 49:50 ... dude, you looked like a jerk off.

Joe Rogan 49:52 (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 49:53 Wait, there was a difference?

Dave Smith 49:54 Your family, your family better be poor as shit.

Joe Rogan 49:56 (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 49:56 (laughs)

Dave Smith 49:56 You better have other problems, like with your pants and shirt, before we even get to those Converse sneakers, if you're wearing Converse.

Big Jay Oakerson 50:00 Wait, was there a difference?

Joe Rogan 50:01 But this was a, this was a dark-

Dave Smith 50:02 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. There's-

Joe Rogan 50:02 ... period of time, but that period of time is gone. Right? They've, they, they have, uh, dope leather and suede ones.

Big Jay Oakerson 50:09 Sure.

Joe Rogan 50:09 Uh, they have all kinds of different ... Who's that guy that they give those-

Dave Smith 50:11 Now, it's like, the look. Now, it's like, the l- ... So if someone makes ... I mean, Fila is back somehow.

Joe Rogan 50:15 Right. But, like, it's-

Dave Smith 50:15 Fat tongue Filas.

Joe Rogan 50:17 And they're back for kids.

Dave Smith 50:18 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 50:19 Like, for kids, is there one ... We don't know. We're so out of the loop. But is there one brand that's like ... Is it still Nike? Like, what is-

Big Jay Oakerson 50:25 Uh, Jordan.

Dave Smith 50:25 Nike and Jordan is still-

Big Jay Oakerson 50:26 You have no idea.

Joe Rogan 50:26 Jordan's-

Dave Smith 50:27 Yeah, my daughter's, my daughter's 17, so yeah, that's still, she's still-

Joe Rogan 50:29 So Jordan's.

Dave Smith 50:29 Yeah.

Big Jay Oakerson 50:29 Yeah, Nike, my k- ... Timberlands, my kid has.

Dave Smith 50:33 Sure, yeah. If it's boo- if it's boots, it's Timberlands.

Joe Rogan 50:35 Jordan's has got to be like the most successful sneaker campaign in the history of the known universe, right?

Big Jay Oakerson 50:39 Oh, yeah.

Dave Smith 50:39 Yeah, without a doubt. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 50:40 There's nothing that has the kind of cachet as a Jordan.

Dave Smith 50:43 The only thing I'd say maybe probably that sells more than the Jordan is the Air Force 1, but they're per unit cheaper.

Joe Rogan 50:49 But that's him too though, right?

Dave Smith 50:50 No.

Joe Rogan 50:50 That's still Michael Jordan.

Dave Smith 50:51 Nike.

50:52 No, that's just Nike.

Joe Rogan 50:52 But I think Air Force 1, I think of him.

Dave Smith 50:55 No.

50:56 Nah.

50:56 No, the Air Force 1s are the, they're, they're, they're basic-

50:58 That's his shoe.

50:59 ... feet.

Joe Rogan 50:59 Oh, it's mine.

Dave Smith 50:59 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 51:00 Oh, but doesn't the Air Force 1 have a dude flying through the air dunking?

Dave Smith 51:03 No.

Joe Rogan 51:03 No?

Dave Smith 51:03 That's the Jordan symbol.

Joe Rogan 51:03 Okay, that's just the Jordans.

Dave Smith 51:05 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 51:05 I'm so white.

Big Jay Oakerson 51:06 Nikes are fucking uncomfortable. Every time I wear Nikes-

Joe Rogan 51:09 Why is-

Big Jay Oakerson 51:09 ... they hurt my feet. I don't like them.

Joe Rogan 51:11 You got crazy feet. What do you wear? What do you like to wear?

Dave Smith 51:11 That's too va- ... That's too vague a statement.

Big Jay Oakerson 51:13 Uh-huh. These are, uh ... What are these?

Joe Rogan 51:15 You're into skate shoes, right? Minimalist sort of-

Big Jay Oakerson 51:17 Yeah, yeah, there we go.

Joe Rogan 51:18 ... slightly flexible.

Big Jay Oakerson 51:18 The sneakers.

Joe Rogan 51:18 I love the ... I love those kind of shoes.

Big Jay Oakerson 51:20 I love those kind of shoes.

Dave Smith 51:20 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 51:21 Yeah.

Big Jay Oakerson 51:22 And then I wear New Balance. I wear New Balance a lot. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 51:25 Like an old white guy.

Dave Smith 51:26 That's ... Yeah, that's a wide foot shoe.

Big Jay Oakerson 51:28 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 51:28 You're, you're taking a bold risk when you wear those five-finger shoes, even though they're good for you.

Big Jay Oakerson 51:32 Oh, those things?

Dave Smith 51:33 Toes. Are those good? Toes, sort of, toes.

Joe Rogan 51:34 Yeah, they're, they're great.

Big Jay Oakerson 51:35 To walk around in life though, or just at the gym?

Joe Rogan 51:37 My friend Kyle Kingsbury does it, but he's also-

Big Jay Oakerson 51:39 Walks around in life?

Joe Rogan 51:40 He's also a gorilla. He's a, an enormous guy.

Dave Smith 51:42 So he's daring you to say that or he's going to climb a tree?

Joe Rogan 51:44 No, he's a super nice guy, but he's a former UFC fighter. Super nice guy and wears, uh, those fucking five-finger shoes everywhere.

Big Jay Oakerson 51:48 I follow Kyle on, uh, Instagram. He's, he's hilarious.

Joe Rogan 51:51 He's great. Great, great. Great guy.

Dave Smith 51:52 Do you call him ... Is he a white guy?

Joe Rogan 51:54 Yeah.

Dave Smith 51:54 I said only ... There was a, a thing I saw, uh, uh, cl-

Big Jay Oakerson 51:57 He married a ring girl, right? Uh, what's her name?

Joe Rogan 51:59 Yes. Natasha.

Big Jay Oakerson 52:00 Yeah, smoking-

Dave Smith 52:00 There was a clip the other week of two guys, two Black guys at a tow truck company, I think it is, that start filming this white guy that called them gorillas. And as he's f- but the white guy backing down as they're coming at him. And it's so funny. Why this guy would have said this, like, I almost believe the white guy's excuse, but he is lost 'cause he w- I guess he said something like, "Have one of these two gorillas bring it around." And he definitely meant ... They're big guys, so he definitely kind of meant it like that, but it just doesn't look good.

Joe Rogan 52:26 Yeah.

Dave Smith 52:26 So him trying to explain to the guy.

52:28 (laughs)

52:28 Like, "You call me and my Black friends here gorillas." He's like, "No, I meant like strong guy," but he just goes-

Big Jay Oakerson 52:34 (laughs)

Dave Smith 52:34 He goes, "My, uh, my dentist is a Black fella." He just starts giving those-

Big Jay Oakerson 52:38 Oh, no.

Dave Smith 52:38 Oh, no.

Big Jay Oakerson 52:38 Christ.

Dave Smith 52:38 He starts doing the ... He goes, "Now that's where you're going wrong, brother, talking about your dentist being Black."

Joe Rogan 52:43 (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 52:43 Dentist is also-

Dave Smith 52:44 My mail man's a Black fella. He comes around-

Big Jay Oakerson 52:46 That's way too far removed. That's not even ...

Dave Smith 52:48 I, I've high-fived him several times.

Big Jay Oakerson 52:50 Yeah, I don't even believe him.

Joe Rogan 52:51 (laughs)

Dave Smith 52:52 Is that the thing I brought out?

Big Jay Oakerson 52:53 Yeah.

Dave Smith 52:53 Yeah.

Big Jay Oakerson 52:54 Get it later.

Dave Smith 52:54 Yes, I do.

Joe Rogan 52:55 This one over here.

Big Jay Oakerson 52:56 Sweet. Sweet. (door closing)

Joe Rogan 53:00 So, uh, I saw the thing where Milo said you guys cucked out on the show the first time you were on here.

Dave Smith 53:06 (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 53:06 That's why we're going hard on New Balances this time.

Joe Rogan 53:08 Silly.

Dave Smith 53:08 It was worth it to have Ahrii.

Joe Rogan 53:09 Silly.

Dave Smith 53:09 When Ahrii said, "Fuck you," to all three of us was the hardest I laughed in that 70 minutes.

Joe Rogan 53:13 (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 53:13 Yeah.

Dave Smith 53:14 He goes, "Fuck you."

Joe Rogan 53:16 And Ahrii is a fucking national treasure.

Big Jay Oakerson 53:18 He really is.

Joe Rogan 53:19 He's a national treasure.

Big Jay Oakerson 53:19 Dude, Ahrii has gang fest, dude. So they d- uh, Rich Vos and Bonnie McFarlane do a show where they, they ... It's called Would You Bang Him? And they have like four or five female comedians on stage. And then a male comedian comes out and does a set. And at the end of it, the girls have to decide whether or not they would fuck him based off of, you know, a multitude of things and the set, right? So Ahrii does his-

Joe Rogan 53:37 (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 53:37 ... he just gets naked. So like literally take his clothes off. He's like, "Oh, I'm doing it." And then he starts chasing the female Korean comedians around the stage with his dick and trying to hit them.

Joe Rogan 53:46 Hold on, hold on. Listen, listen. Before you say anything more, be- just be aware that other people are going to listen to this-

Dave Smith 53:53 (laughs) Yeah. Wait, and Ahrii's gonna admit it?

Joe Rogan 53:55 ... and Ahrii is gonna admit it.

Dave Smith 53:55 He's like, "Got it." Then he held her down against her will for 10 minutes.

Big Jay Oakerson 53:58 (laughs) Thanks. Thanks for the heads-up, Joe. Then-

Joe Rogan 54:00 (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 54:00 No, this is a ... This is on camera. This is not a made-up thing.

Joe Rogan 54:03 No, it was all-

Dave Smith 54:03 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 54:03 ... it was all part of the theatrical performance. So this was-

Big Jay Oakerson 54:06 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 54:06 ... it was planned and agreed to and consented in advance.

Dave Smith 54:09 Oh, right. Yeah.

Big Jay Oakerson 54:10 Cabaret.

Joe Rogan 54:11 Yes, cabaret.

Big Jay Oakerson 54:11 So he's chasing, he's chasing these girls around with his-

Joe Rogan 54:14 But not really.

Big Jay Oakerson 54:15 Wink, wink, nudge, nudge.

Joe Rogan 54:16 Because he could catch them if he was really chasing them, right?

Big Jay Oakerson 54:17 Oh, obviously, he's a man.

Joe Rogan 54:19 (laughs)

Dave Smith 54:19 Yeah, if he's short little woman-legs.

Big Jay Oakerson 54:21 Oh, my goodness.

Joe Rogan 54:23 Short little woman-legs. (laughs)

Big Jay Oakerson 54:24 (laughs) So he's chasing them around the stage with his dick and Louis C.K. is there watching from the sidelines and he goes, "I'm the problem?"

Joe Rogan 54:31 Ah!

Big Jay Oakerson 54:32 (laughs)

Dave Smith 54:32 I think-

Joe Rogan 54:33 Ah!

Dave Smith 54:34 (laughs)

54:34 ... I think it did a lot to let Louis know he was in a safe space.

Joe Rogan 54:37 Yes.

Luis J. Gomez 54:37 You're okay here. You're fine here.

Big Jay Oakerson 54:39 There was-

Joe Rogan 54:39 There's a lot- A lotta people got, uh, their panties in a bunch when, uh ... No pun intended. When he went on stage.

Luis J. Gomez 54:45 Oh, yeah?

Big Jay Oakerson 54:46 Dude, his set was fucking killer.

Luis J. Gomez 54:48 No one's panties were in a bunch there.

Big Jay Oakerson 54:49 And the crowd was so happy to see him there, man.

Joe Rogan 54:50 Yeah, man. I'm ... And I mean, uh, people outside of the people that were there. So- some people never ... I mean, maybe they feel that the guy didn't do what they wanted him to do. But I mean, how long do you want someone to suffer?

Luis J. Gomez 55:01 Well, the bummer is also the venue saying that like, their workers were like, afraid to stop it or do anything about it, and that they were upset. And it's like, "No, we-"

Joe Rogan 55:09 That's bullshit.

Big Jay Oakerson 55:10 They- They were-

Joe Rogan 55:10 The workers were ecstatic.

Big Jay Oakerson 55:11 They were jumping-

Joe Rogan 55:12 You kinda almost have to say that.

Big Jay Oakerson 55:13 They were jumping around.

Joe Rogan 55:14 You almost kinda have to say that today.

Luis J. Gomez 55:15 They didn't though, because a business doesn't need to have an opinion. They could just not say anything for two days. Nobody was going after th- this venue and going like, "Oh, you need to release a statement." Nobody gave a fuck.

Joe Rogan 55:24 But here's the thing, is those people-

Big Jay Oakerson 55:25 Well, this is all new territory for- for businesses.

Joe Rogan 55:27 Yeah.

Big Jay Oakerson 55:27 You have to understand that the- the idea of reacting to a journalist is not new. But the idea of reacting to thousands and thousands of people who make comments on your Instagram page, that is new. And for, uh, a business that's, you know ... Th- that's a big deal.

Luis J. Gomez 55:42 Yeah.

Big Jay Oakerson 55:42 They- they- they're worried about being boycotted.

Luis J. Gomez 55:44 But that's not what happened.

Joe Rogan 55:45 And those people ... But the people-

Big Jay Oakerson 55:46 No, no.

Luis J. Gomez 55:46 ... who are pissed off that Louie's there, those people will not ... Like, they will boycott. They will tweet every day. They- their-

Joe Rogan 55:54 Yeah.

Luis J. Gomez 55:54 ... thing is to try to ruin someone for, you know, committing a like, woke crime or whatever.

Joe Rogan 56:00 Yes.

Luis J. Gomez 56:00 And they're ... So, th- that's what they deal with, is that people like us, who are like, "Ah, that sucks that- that they fucking wrote that letter," we don't do anything. We're not boycotting because they wrote that letter. We're not like, do ... The- the other side isn't putting as much pressure on them, and that's why all these companies ... That's why Gillette's making those razor commercials and shit, 'cause they're scared of that side.

Joe Rogan 56:18 Yeah.

Big Jay Oakerson 56:18 Did you see the Gillette razor commercial, where they ... Is it the Gillette one where the two firemen kiss?

Luis J. Gomez 56:24 I don't think- I don't think I saw that