The Joe Rogan ExperienceJoe Rogan Experience #1336 - Legion of Skanks
EVERY SPOKEN WORD
150 min read · 30,002 words- 0:00 – 3:19
Getting too high & fact-checking Mike Tyson’s “$40K a week” weed claim
- LGLuis J. Gomez
I, I rarely watch the event live.
- JRJoe Rogan
Hello, skanks.
- LGLuis J. Gomez
What's up?
- DSDave Smith
Hello.
- JRJoe Rogan
We're live. This is sort of-
- DSDave Smith
Hell yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
... we're, we're recorded.
- DSDave Smith
(laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
Good to see you boys.
- LGLuis J. Gomez
What's up, doggy?
- JRJoe Rogan
Good to see you too, talking. Things got strange as soon as I said we're live. Everybody's like, "Oh."
- LGLuis J. Gomez
Oh man, we were having a great conversation.
- JRJoe Rogan
People are listening? (laughs)
- DSDave Smith
Right now?
- JRJoe Rogan
We're a little too high right now.
- DSDave Smith
(laughs) People are listening to what?
- JRJoe Rogan
That goddamn Mike Tyson weed. That Mike Tyson-
- LGLuis J. Gomez
We really were just having the most natural conversation.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yep.
- LGLuis J. Gomez
Everyone was going back and forth, nothing-
- JRJoe Rogan
And then (screech) yeah.
- DSDave Smith
Mike Tyson, we were talking when you went to the bathroom, Mike Tyson says he smokes $40,000 a wheel-
- LGLuis J. Gomez
Yeah, but-
- DSDave Smith
... a, a, a week?
- JRJoe Rogan
But he also sells weed, so he just charges it, himself, a lot of money.
- DSDave Smith
(laughs) He can buy his own supply?
- LGLuis J. Gomez
(laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
There's no way you can smoke $40,000 worth of weed.
- LGLuis J. Gomez
(laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
I mean, maybe like, his whole crew.
- 3:19 – 6:43
Why Mike Tyson feels surreal: rise, fall, and unexpected reinvention
- JRJoe Rogan
All in. Dude, he was one of the most fascinating guys to interview, 'cause I couldn't believe I was really talking to him.
- DSDave Smith
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
It's like I can't believe that's really Mike Tyson. Like there's certain people, like you talk to them, like, "Th- that's really Mike Tyson?"
- LGLuis J. Gomez
Yeah.
- DSDave Smith
Just-
- JRJoe Rogan
This is crazy.
- DSDave Smith
Yeah.
- LGLuis J. Gomez
It doesn't make sense. It just doesn't compute.
- DSDave Smith
'Cause what he's been through in his life, yeah-
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- DSDave Smith
... like and now he's here somehow.
- JRJoe Rogan
Knowing him as a kid when he was the fucking man, and you'd see him on the cover of these magazines, like Kid Dynamite when he was 19 years old on Sports Illustrated, and just smashing everyone in front of him. And then all of a sudden he's hanging with you.
- LGLuis J. Gomez
Yeah, it's very strange.
- DSDave Smith
(clears throat)
- JRJoe Rogan
And he's getting chill too.
- LGLuis J. Gomez
And it's also just as a, a fall from grace and then a, a, a resurgence.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- DSDave Smith
Yeah.
- LGLuis J. Gomez
It's still a weird resurgence too.
- DSDave Smith
Mm-hmm.
- LGLuis J. Gomez
Like, nobody ever saw him becoming like, you know, a cartoon character and like-
- DSDave Smith
Yeah.
- LGLuis J. Gomez
... a fucking Broadway actor-
- DSDave Smith
Yeah.
- LGLuis J. Gomez
... in a one-man show, and now a weed rancher.
- DSDave Smith
(laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- LGLuis J. Gomez
That's bananas.
- DSDave Smith
(laughs)
- LGLuis J. Gomez
Man, who saw that? Nobody said that was gonna be Mike Tyson's trajectory.
- 6:43 – 13:48
Tattoo ownership, consent jokes, and disastrous early ink stories
- DSDave Smith
No. Also, fun fact, he is the reason, Mike Tyson, solely, is the reason why now if you're on TV for even five minutes, they start scurrying about your tattoos being covered or can you get a release for them all. Because when he came on, uh, was it The Hangover movie? The company that did, or the tattoo artist that did his face tattoos sued for like, and I think won, for like millions of dollars.
- JRJoe Rogan
What? That's so crazy.
- LGLuis J. Gomez
How is that possible? For doing the movie?
- DSDave Smith
Because they used the image.
- LGLuis J. Gomez
Because they used that person's artwork without them-
- DSDave Smith
But once you put a tattoo on somebody-
- LGLuis J. Gomez
Nope. It's your only, nope. Yeah.
- DSDave Smith
You claim part owner, you claim part ownership of that person now?
- LGLuis J. Gomez
Yep.
- BOBig Jay Oakerson
It makes tattoos so much gayer.
- LGLuis J. Gomez
It does.
(laughs)
- BOBig Jay Oakerson
You can walk around with some fucking dudes.
- LGLuis J. Gomez
What up, guys?
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- DSDave Smith
Oh, yeah. This is when I, this is when I married an lesbian in Alaska.
- LGLuis J. Gomez
(laughs)
(laughs)
- BOBig Jay Oakerson
(laughs)
- DSDave Smith
Uh, this is when I became, I guess, uh, partners in life with a guy in Montreal who spoke French.
- BOBig Jay Oakerson
Jay, how many tattoos do we have in common? We have the same...
- JRJoe Rogan
You guys have a bunch of tattoos in common?
- DSDave Smith
One, two, three. Three. Yeah, we have the Daves, yeah.
- BOBig Jay Oakerson
Here we go again, side.
- JRJoe Rogan
What do, what do, what do you guys have?
- BOBig Jay Oakerson
Here you go.
- DSDave Smith
Oh, we're doing that-
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh, you guys get... What do you... What's happening here? There's a lot of people that can't hear this.
- LGLuis J. Gomez
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
So what are these things?
- 13:48 – 19:32
Henna hazards, body-art talent, and trippy face-paint illusion artists
- JRJoe Rogan
Well, that's another thing about henna (clears throat) , ladies, if you, uh, or guys who are into henna tattoos, if you get those henna tattoos, like, in Thailand or something like that, sometimes it's not really henna, it's hair dye. And the hair dye can be poisonous to your skin.
- LGLuis J. Gomez
Jesus.
- JRJoe Rogan
Like, it's not good stuff.
- LGLuis J. Gomez
Oh, and you didn't even die getting a real tattoo.
- JRJoe Rogan
Well, I don't know if you can die, but I think it fucks you up.
- LGLuis J. Gomez
Getting painted on with hair dye. (laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
See, let's find out what, uh... I think there's a re-
- LGLuis J. Gomez
(clears throat) .
- JRJoe Rogan
There was, like, a warning about this that I read, where they're saying, "Don't, don't get henna from places that aren't using real henna," 'cause they, they use cheap hair dye or-
- LGLuis J. Gomez
They could've just stopped at, "Don't get henna."
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah, you could've said that.
- LGLuis J. Gomez
So-
- JRJoe Rogan
That's a weird one, right? It's like, I want a tattoo, but not really.
- LGLuis J. Gomez
Yeah.
- DSDave Smith
It looks like a- it looks like a spray-on tan's wearing off.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yes. (laughs)
- LGLuis J. Gomez
(laughs)
- DSDave Smith
You know what I'm saying?
- LGLuis J. Gomez
It looks- it just looks disgusting.
- DSDave Smith
PPD is con- in it. Whatever, black henna often contains PPD at high levels and when applied to skin can cause chemical burns and allergic reactions. And I don't know what PPD is. I'm trying to find that.
- LGLuis J. Gomez
Chemical burns?
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah, you gotta be careful out there, kids. Don't be pouring chemicals on you.
- LGLuis J. Gomez
(laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
But apparently-
- LGLuis J. Gomez
Joe Rogan says, "Steer clear of henna."
- JRJoe Rogan
... it's okay to just drill holes in your skin and pump some ink in there. It's apparently fine to do that.
- LGLuis J. Gomez
There had to be, like, uh, uh-
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- LGLuis J. Gomez
... some errors made when they were coming up with, like, ta- like, the first tattoos, people's arms-
- JRJoe Rogan
Oh, my God. (laughs)
- 19:32 – 28:44
Hemorrhoids, Ari Shaffir’s “Predator mouth,” and medical oversharing
- BOBig Jay Oakerson
I think his butthole... I think Ari's, uh-
- JRJoe Rogan
You've said so many times.
- BOBig Jay Oakerson
I think he's in process of getting his butthole fixed.
- JRJoe Rogan
Is he gonna get surgery?
- BOBig Jay Oakerson
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, thank God.
I think so, yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
Is it the surg-
- BOBig Jay Oakerson
He's been bleeding since I've known him.
Yeah. It's bizarre that he just lives life like that.
Yeah, it's-
That would shut... That's a problem that would shut me off from going out to the world.
- JRJoe Rogan
Well, what, what causes those things, hemorrhoids? What causes hemorrhoids?
- BOBig Jay Oakerson
We, we, uh-
- JRJoe Rogan
I got hemorrhoids working out 'cause I wasn't breathing when I was lifting weights.
- BOBig Jay Oakerson
Jesus Christ.
- JRJoe Rogan
And I was just-
- BOBig Jay Oakerson
(laughs)
Just clenching.
- JRJoe Rogan
Just clenching my butthole and it just popped out, little fucking-
- BOBig Jay Oakerson
Like squeezing a balloon animal? (laughs)
Yeah. (laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
You've made blisters inside your butthole from squeezing it together.
- BOBig Jay Oakerson
And it sucks. For a while... Well, this actually won't... How we got introduced to Ari's butthole was, I was complaining about me having hemorrhoids. And on Legion of Skanks-
(laughs)
... we opened up my butthole. They, they... To show them, I showed all the guys.
Louis did it. We didn't all open up his butthole.
Yeah. Yeah. And Ari said, "That's not a hemorrhoid." And we're like, "What?"
(laughs)
"That's a hemorrhoid."
- 28:44 – 31:37
Sober October madness: point systems, hours of cardio, and weight-loss strategies
- JRJoe Rogan
But how much time, how much time have you spent researching, like, different methods of losing weight? And how much, uh, you looked into intermittent fasting?
- BOBig Jay Oakerson
Yeah, I've done inte- dude, I've done... I've been obsessed with it, dude.
- JRJoe Rogan
But do you do it? Do you do it?
- BOBig Jay Oakerson
I wanna try that. But I never... I don't... But I still don't fully understand what it is.
- JRJoe Rogan
It's simple. You just have a small feeding window. Like, uh, for me, I, I like to fast... I f- I feel at my best when I'm fasting 14 hours. So what I'll do is, (smacks lips) you know, if I eat at 8:00 PM, then I eat at 10:00 AM the next day. It's not hard.
- BOBig Jay Oakerson
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
It's pretty easy.
- BOBig Jay Oakerson
I was doing 12:00 PM to 7:00 PM I was eating. I could eat from 12:00 PM to 7:00 PM, um, but I wasn't really eating healthy things. What I was doing... Why, Louis? When I was doing the intermittent fasting-
- JRJoe Rogan
Why?
- BOBig Jay Oakerson
... I was eating shitty. What I'm better at is if I just cut out most of the carbs, only fruit and shit like that, but if I cut out all the carbs and the burgers and, and the fucking bread and the pasta and the rice, I can manage that because I can get creative. And if I'm in the mood for pizza, I can figure out a, you know, a, a low-carb version of pizza.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- BOBig Jay Oakerson
You know, cauliflower crust or whatever it is. Oh, gay.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah. (laughs)
- BOBig Jay Oakerson
(laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
You know what you should do, man?
- BOBig Jay Oakerson
Shi- calm pizza. It's really delicious.
- JRJoe Rogan
Listen, do all those things, but also lift weights.
- BOBig Jay Oakerson
Yeah, I have been. I just started again.
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- BOBig Jay Oakerson
Like two weeks ago.
- JRJoe Rogan
That's, that's a big one. But lifting weights is huge. It burns a shit ton of calories. And more importantly, when your body has more muscle, then your body burns more calories. So you could eat the same amount of food and you lose weight.
- BOBig Jay Oakerson
You could do all that or, Louis, I know you just fist fought a comedian.
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- BOBig Jay Oakerson
"Bring, bring me..."
- JRJoe Rogan
When I say lose weight, you mean you'll lose body fat.
- BOBig Jay Oakerson
Joe, you eat, like, tons of meat.
- JRJoe Rogan
I eat a lot of meat.
- DSDave Smith
Do you ever get-
- JRJoe Rogan
Yeah.
- DSDave Smith
... have you gotten gout, uh, stuff, ever?
- 31:37 – 37:46
Plane delays, air-marshal hypotheticals, and airline chaos stories
- BOBig Jay Oakerson
Dude, I lied. I was on a flight yesterday, and I lied. And, uh... Because we, we were on the runway for two and a half hours. (laughs) And I was just getting really impatient. I was like, "I'm fucking hungry." I- I mean (laughs) ... I made up that I was hyperglycemic, to get food. (laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- DSDave Smith
(laughs)
- BOBig Jay Oakerson
I literally... Like, I b-... I buzzed the thing, and they wouldn't come. So eventually, I started just, like, waving like a madman. And Mike Finola, who's a friend of ours, a comic, he was a few rows up. That's how he knew I was on a plane, 'cause I was being a lunatic.
- DSDave Smith
Mm-hmm.
- BOBig Jay Oakerson
And I was like, "We've been on here forever. I'm, I'm, I'm hyperglycemic. I need food right now." (laughs) And they had to, like, go get me orange juice. It was the most fucking embarrassing thing.
- DSDave Smith
(laughs) Shit, like, like, "Here, suck a lemon." (laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- BOBig Jay Oakerson
Keep getting me things. (laughs)
- DSDave Smith
(sucks fingers)
- BOBig Jay Oakerson
Dude, two and a half hours outta goddamn runway.
- DSDave Smith
When you're angry on a plane that's not going anywhere, it's... I'm blown away by the amount of rules. Like, what... I've been... W- we've been at the gate for, like, two hours before. I'm like, "Can I just go back into the airport?" And they're like, "No." Like, it doesn't make any sense that you can.
- BOBig Jay Oakerson
Can you leave and not, like, take the flight? Could you be like, "I want... I'm off. I'm going-"
- DSDave Smith
Yes.
- JRJoe Rogan
I think you can, but it's a big deal.
- DSDave Smith
... unless the door's closed.
- BOBig Jay Oakerson
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
But it's a big deal. If you wanna leave, that's a big deal.
- BOBig Jay Oakerson
You're probably-
- DSDave Smith
But as a Puerto Rican, if you do leave, Luis, you have to twerk on your... I don't know if you watch those videos, when people leave planes. They go, "Fuck y'all."
- BOBig Jay Oakerson
Oh, yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
"Fuck."
- DSDave Smith
(laughs) They always twerk their way out.
- BOBig Jay Oakerson
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
You will get put on a list, for sure.
- BOBig Jay Oakerson
If you leave-
- JRJoe Rogan
They will check up your asshole every time you fly on a plane.
- DSDave Smith
Well, Luis already has that problem because he's-
- BOBig Jay Oakerson
Well, me and Luis ƒ going there.
- DSDave Smith
... last time, me and Ken Flu-
- 37:46 – 53:00
Starbucks as homeless camps: policy blowback, LA tents, and modern street life
- JRJoe Rogan
Sort of like Starbucks. That's why homeless people are there all the time.
- LGLuis J. Gomez
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
- BOBig Jay Oakerson
I hate it. Don't even get me fucking started, Joe.
- JRJoe Rogan
Starbucks, they're American homeless camps.
- LGLuis J. Gomez
American Airlines says officially, "Thank God that guy wasn't black." (laughing)
- BOBig Jay Oakerson
I fucking ... I, I live in Harlem and the Starbucks in Harlem, I mean, it looks like a bus depot. It's crazy. It's just lines of people just sitting there, charging their cell phones, not ordering anything.
- LGLuis J. Gomez
Well, it's because they ha- Their new policy is everyone who walks in's a customer, right? So-
- BOBig Jay Oakerson
Yeah, they're a customer as soon as they walk in the door.
- JRJoe Rogan
This is what's hilarious. The fucking ... All ... It happened because of one bad PR thing.
- BOBig Jay Oakerson
Philly.
- LGLuis J. Gomez
Yep, yep.
- JRJoe Rogan
In Philly, when these two black dudes were just trying to sit down and chill out at, at Starbucks and someone decided to remove them from the premises.
- BOBig Jay Oakerson
Yeah, but look-
- LGLuis J. Gomez
Now it's like a Balmoral.
- JRJoe Rogan
If you weren't there, you don't know. Ah.
- BOBig Jay Oakerson
I'm just saying I'm with Dave.
- JRJoe Rogan
I don't know what anyone's ... I'm just being-
- BOBig Jay Oakerson
I'm with Dave on this.
- JRJoe Rogan
I'm not getting debate.
- LGLuis J. Gomez
Here's what happened.
- JRJoe Rogan
I know that you have opinions on this.
- LGLuis J. Gomez
Look, look. (laughing)
- JRJoe Rogan
All I'm saying is-
- BOBig Jay Oakerson
The, the libertarian perspective is-
- LGLuis J. Gomez
They might have been dicks. Starbucks might have been dicks. But what I know is, they, they asked them to leave, they called the cops. The cops weren't going to arrest them. The cops told them, "You have to leave." And they still refused to leave. And the cops were like ...
- BOBig Jay Oakerson
And also, those guys-
- LGLuis J. Gomez
And then they didn't ... Then they let them go. They literally just cuffed them, took them to the station, and then were like, "Go." They didn't charge them with anything.
- BOBig Jay Oakerson
Those guys also, they also tried to order Four Loko, so ...
- JRJoe Rogan
Wah, wah, wah.
- BOBig Jay Oakerson
They were out. They-
- 53:00 – 1:04:54
Woke capitalism, boycotts, and the tribal politics trap around Trump
- JRJoe Rogan
So, uh, I saw the thing where Milo said you guys cucked out on the show the first time you were on here.
- DSDave Smith
(laughs)
- BOBig Jay Oakerson
That's why we're going hard on New Balances this time.
- JRJoe Rogan
Silly.
- DSDave Smith
It was worth it to have Ahrii.
- JRJoe Rogan
Silly.
- DSDave Smith
When Ahrii said, "Fuck you," to all three of us was the hardest I laughed in that 70 minutes.
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- BOBig Jay Oakerson
Yeah.
- DSDave Smith
He goes, "Fuck you."
- JRJoe Rogan
And Ahrii is a fucking national treasure.
- BOBig Jay Oakerson
He really is.
- JRJoe Rogan
He's a national treasure.
- BOBig Jay Oakerson
Dude, Ahrii has gang fest, dude. So they d- uh, Rich Vos and Bonnie McFarlane do a show where they, they ... It's called Would You Bang Him? And they have like four or five female comedians on stage. And then a male comedian comes out and does a set. And at the end of it, the girls have to decide whether or not they would fuck him based off of, you know, a multitude of things and the set, right? So Ahrii does his-
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- BOBig Jay Oakerson
... he just gets naked. So like literally take his clothes off. He's like, "Oh, I'm doing it." And then he starts chasing the female Korean comedians around the stage with his dick and trying to hit them.
- JRJoe Rogan
Hold on, hold on. Listen, listen. Before you say anything more, be- just be aware that other people are going to listen to this-
- DSDave Smith
(laughs) Yeah. Wait, and Ahrii's gonna admit it?
- JRJoe Rogan
... and Ahrii is gonna admit it.
- DSDave Smith
He's like, "Got it." Then he held her down against her will for 10 minutes.
- BOBig Jay Oakerson
(laughs) Thanks. Thanks for the heads-up, Joe. Then-
- JRJoe Rogan
(laughs)
- BOBig Jay Oakerson
No, this is a ... This is on camera. This is not a made-up thing.
- JRJoe Rogan
No, it was all-
- DSDave Smith
Yeah.
- JRJoe Rogan
... it was all part of the theatrical performance. So this was-
- BOBig Jay Oakerson
(laughs)
- JRJoe Rogan
... it was planned and agreed to and consented in advance.
- DSDave Smith
Oh, right. Yeah.
- BOBig Jay Oakerson
Cabaret.
Episode duration: 2:49:45
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Transcript of episode 7q44OJasErI