Joe Rogan Experience #1338 - Roy Wood Jr

1. 0:00 – 15:00

   (laughs) We good? …

   1. JRJoe Rogan0:00

      (laughs) We good?

   2. NANarrator0:05

      Yeah.

   3. JRJoe Rogan0:06

      Roy Wood-

   4. RJRoy Wood Jr.0:07

      Yo.

   5. JRJoe Rogan0:07

      ... Junior. How are you, sir?

   6. RJRoy Wood Jr.0:08

      How you doing, man?

   7. JRJoe Rogan0:09

      Pleasure. A pleasure to have you on here, man. You're one of-

   8. RJRoy Wood Jr.0:11

      Man, appreciate it.

   9. JRJoe Rogan0:12

      ... the funniest guys alive. Absolutely.

   10. RJRoy Wood Jr.0:14

       I don't know about that, man.

   11. JRJoe Rogan0:14

       You are. You're-

   12. RJRoy Wood Jr.0:15

       Just trying to pay bills, bro.

   13. JRJoe Rogan0:16

       You're one of the funniest guys out there, man. I'm, uh, very excited to have you in here. Fuck's going... And we were talking shit about Apple and electronics.

   14. RJRoy Wood Jr.0:22

       Uh-

   15. JRJoe Rogan0:23

       Apple's fucking you, I hear.

   16. RJRoy Wood Jr.0:24

       So-

   17. JRJoe Rogan0:25

       (laughs)

   18. NANarrator0:25

       (laughs)

   19. RJRoy Wood Jr.0:25

       ... I got the new MacBook, right? And the new MacBook with the new OS or whatever it is, it doesn't fuck with the old versions of Final Cut. The, the old video editing software I used to use, new MacBook goes, "You gotta buy that shit again." I'm like, "My nigga, I just paid for that shit, hundreds of dollars with my last computer. And now I gotta get ... My ... You're telling me my old software ain't no good with the new..." And you could make the software work with the new OS if you wanted to, but they don't. They get you to buy it again and all that shit.

   20. JRJoe Rogan0:53

       So dirty.

   21. RJRoy Wood Jr.0:54

       So now I'm having to learn Adobe Premiere. I was pretty good with Final Cut, but I'm having to relearn-

   22. JRJoe Rogan1:01

       You're swapping out.

   23. RJRoy Wood Jr.1:02

       Yeah, I gotta relearn-

   24. JRJoe Rogan1:03

       Yeah. Good for you.

   25. RJRoy Wood Jr.1:03

       ... a whole new thing. And if I'm gonna do that, then I may as well relearn a whole new piece of electronics. But to do that means I have to gut everything.

   26. JRJoe Rogan1:11

       Cool.

   27. RJRoy Wood Jr.1:11

       That means you have to gut the Apple TV, you have to let go of the iPhone, you have to let go of the iPads.

   28. JRJoe Rogan1:15

       Ooh.

   29. RJRoy Wood Jr.1:16

       My girlfriend ... And like, the, uh, the whole house-

   30. JRJoe Rogan1:18

       The ecosystem.
2. 15:00 – 30:00

   All right. …

   1. JRJoe Rogan15:00

      start in LA. People can start anywhere. I mean, it's better starting in... It's better starting there than, like, a place that doesn't have much of a scene, like maybe Phoenix.

   2. RJRoy Wood Jr.15:08

      All right.

   3. JRJoe Rogan15:08

      Phoenix has, like, a little bit of a scene. But like-

   4. RJRoy Wood Jr.15:10

      Oh, yeah. My first nine years were all Southern.

   5. JRJoe Rogan15:13

      Where were you at?

   6. RJRoy Wood Jr.15:13

      I was a road guy outta Alabama.

   7. JRJoe Rogan15:14

      Oh.

   8. RJRoy Wood Jr.15:14

      I started in Tallahassee and Birmingham, uh, where, like... In those days, like in '98, open mic was once a month per city.

   9. JRJoe Rogan15:21

      Wow.

   10. RJRoy Wood Jr.15:22

       So every week, if you wanted to get on, you had to get on the Greyhound.

   11. JRJoe Rogan15:25

       Wow.

   12. RJRoy Wood Jr.15:25

       And go to another fucking city.

   13. JRJoe Rogan15:27

       Dude, that's commitment.

   14. RJRoy Wood Jr.15:28

       So that's the only way. And then we started creating stages, like, in the Panhandle, like from Fort Walton over to Jacksonville. You start meeting... Uh, yeah. You form a little, fucking network.

   15. JRJoe Rogan15:36

       Mm-hmm.

   16. RJRoy Wood Jr.15:37

       And this guy's got a Monday night at a shithole, this guy's got a Tuesday night at another shithole. And looking back on it, it was all trash stage time. That's the best you could do until you move.

   17. JRJoe Rogan15:47

       It is amazing though how many guys have crafted careers just doing that. Like, the will, the will to do, do time and to find spots and to find a place to work out.

   18. RJRoy Wood Jr.15:58

       I would make the argument that I'm better off now as a comic, 20 years in, having started on the road instead of starting in a major market. Just because I feel like when you're a road guy, you meet every version of what your career could end up being when you're young. Because if you're, if you're San Fran, if you're a big city comic, you're only hanging with your peers. You run into the bigwigs every now and then, but it's some hi and bye bullshit at the comedy club, and then they go on their way. But when you do a weekend with Ron White and you get to watch him properly night after night after night, that's a fucking tutorial.

   19. JRJoe Rogan16:37

       Yeah.

   20. RJRoy Wood Jr.16:37

       And that's a fucking gift. And then you can do a weekend the very next weekend with a guy who's been doing it 30 years, hadn't written a new joke in 15, burnout, alcoholic, hates his kids, hates his wife.

   21. JRJoe Rogan16:50

       (laughs)

   22. RJRoy Wood Jr.16:50

       And once I got to LA, you start seeing w- well, no. I know to avoid that because I'll end up like that dude.

   23. JRJoe Rogan16:57

       Yes.

   24. RJRoy Wood Jr.16:58

       I know not to do that because I'll end up like that... There was a comic... Goddamn, I can't name names. There was a comic that used to w-... (laughs) He won custody (laughs) of his child. And the one thing in the court order was that she could not be around the comedy club. So you know what he did? He fucking brought her around the comedy club.

   25. JRJoe Rogan17:16

       Ugh.

   26. RJRoy Wood Jr.17:16

       So as his feature, I watched his seven-year-old while he would go out and do his set.

   27. JRJoe Rogan17:22

       Oh, Jesus.

   28. RJRoy Wood Jr.17:23

       Yeah. But that, that's the life.

   29. JRJoe Rogan17:26

       Did he lose custody of his kid because of that?

   30. RJRoy Wood Jr.17:28

       I don't know. I haven't seen him since.
3. 30:00 – 45:00

   I'll say this about…

   1. JRJoe Rogan30:00

      He's fucked up many a dude's future walking. (laughs)

   2. RJRoy Wood Jr.30:03

      I'll say this about MMA. It's definitely leveled bar fights.

   3. JRJoe Rogan30:08

      Oh, yeah.

   4. RJRoy Wood Jr.30:09

      A little bit more now. I've seen some scrawny guys, like, really fuck up big dudes.

   5. JRJoe Rogan30:14

      That know what they're doing?

   6. RJRoy Wood Jr.30:15

      Yeah.

   7. JRJoe Rogan30:15

      Yeah.

   8. RJRoy Wood Jr.30:15

      Like, it f- And you'll just see the dude...

   9. JRJoe Rogan30:17

      (laughs)

   10. RJRoy Wood Jr.30:17

       And it's funny because there's all the shit talking before the fight and then the fight starts and then, of course, the big dude is, like, tapping and the scrawny dude is still going. I'm like, "Dude, there's no ref."

   11. JRJoe Rogan30:28

       Yeah.

   12. RJRoy Wood Jr.30:29

       "You're, you're at a bar."

   13. JRJoe Rogan30:30

       Yeah.

   14. RJRoy Wood Jr.30:30

       "Like, this isn't... You don't get to tap out. You get your shit broken."

   15. JRJoe Rogan30:35

       Yeah, there's a lot of people that get in fights that don't know what they're doing. It's r- stra- It's like, imagine if you challenged a guy to a basketball game but you've never played basketball.... be ridiculous. Like, I know how to do it, I've watched it on TV. But there's a lot of people that'll do that with fights. But the consequences of a fight are way more grave than the consequences of a basketball game. Somebody kicks your ass in basketball, you just look like a fool. Somebody kicks your ass in a fight, you're, you're, you're getting fucked up, maybe permanently. Maybe your face is gonna be scarred up for life.

   16. RJRoy Wood Jr.31:00

       Man, I ain't no fighter, man. I'm 0-1-1, lifetime.

   17. JRJoe Rogan31:03

       0-1-1?

   18. RJRoy Wood Jr.31:04

       Yeah.

   19. JRJoe Rogan31:04

       One draw?

   20. RJRoy Wood Jr.31:05

       Yeah.

   21. JRJoe Rogan31:05

       What happened with the draw?

   22. RJRoy Wood Jr.31:06

       Teacher showed up.

   23. JRJoe Rogan31:07

       (laughs)

   24. RJRoy Wood Jr.31:08

       I got in a fight. (laughs)

   25. JRJoe Rogan31:10

       (laughs)

   26. RJRoy Wood Jr.31:10

       I got in a fight in the eighth grade at a Stop the Violence rally. And-

   27. JRJoe Rogan31:14

       No.

   28. RJRoy Wood Jr.31:14

       Yeah, true shit. (laughs)

   29. JRJoe Rogan31:18

       (laughs)

   30. RJRoy Wood Jr.31:18

       'Cause I figured that'd be the best place to talk shit. (laughs)
4. 45:00 – 1:00:00

   Yes. …

   1. RJRoy Wood Jr.45:00

      to me it's like a fucking grocery store, and you've been in line, t- you've been in this checkout line, and then a new checkout line opens, and then all these fuckers just cruise through that checkout line. You're still stuck-

   2. JRJoe Rogan45:11

      Yes.

   3. RJRoy Wood Jr.45:12

      ... in the same waiting to get a Tonight Show set line, and the Instagram line opens and people just start whisking through to success, and you don't know whether or not to change lines or stay in this one.

   4. JRJoe Rogan45:23

      Well, the beautiful thing about comedy is you don't have to get out of the line. You just open up a new line, open up an Instagram line, open up a YouTube line. You can do all those things.

   5. RJRoy Wood Jr.45:31

      But they ain't been waiting in line as long as me, so-

   6. JRJoe Rogan45:33

      Ugh.

   7. RJRoy Wood Jr.45:34

      ... why do they get to leave the store? You know, you have that jealousy-

   8. JRJoe Rogan45:36

      Yes.

   9. RJRoy Wood Jr.45:36

      ... that little piece of jealousy when someone has not been in line as long as you-

   10. JRJoe Rogan45:40

       Yeah.

   11. RJRoy Wood Jr.45:40

       ... leaves the grocery store before you? That's comedy, man.

   12. JRJoe Rogan45:42

       It is, but it's wasted energy. You can't think about that. You can't... Like, y- you should think about that the same way you think about someone having success-

   13. RJRoy Wood Jr.45:49

       (laughs)

   14. JRJoe Rogan45:49

       ... in some field that has nothing to do with yours. Like, if someone is a Nobel Prize winning scientist, like, "Fuck, I coulda done that." Yeah, but you didn't.

   15. RJRoy Wood Jr.45:56

       (laughs)

   16. JRJoe Rogan45:57

       It's, uh, really the same thing. It's just-

   17. RJRoy Wood Jr.45:59

       I could've started that app. (laughs)

   18. JRJoe Rogan46:01

       Yeah. (laughs) It has nothing to do... But some people are like that. Some people see someone with, like, a startup, some internet startup, and it makes a billion dollars, and they get angry. They get angry because... But don't... Go, go fucking do something. Don't worry about what other people are doing. It's a giant waste of your energy.

   19. RJRoy Wood Jr.46:14

       Yo, I read a book, um, Rebel Without a Crew. I think it's, um, I think Rich Rodriguez, I think is, I think is his name. And he was a filmmaker, and he made the... I can't remember the name of the movie, but it was the prequel to what became Desperado. And-

   20. JRJoe Rogan46:32

       Oh, Robert tar- Rodriguez?

   21. RJRoy Wood Jr.46:33

       Yes.

   22. JRJoe Rogan46:33

       Is it that guy? Yeah.

   23. RJRoy Wood Jr.46:34

       And he talked about just shooting that shit guerrilla and for, essentially pennies, less than $10,000, shot a whole ass film, and walks through how he cut the corners. And then you think of how they shot Paranormal Activity for, what, like $55,000? 50 or $60,000? The first Paranormal Activity was dirt cheap. They shot the first Saw for a million dollars in 30 days in one building.

   24. JRJoe Rogan46:58

       Whoa.

   25. RJRoy Wood Jr.46:59

       Every, in every scene in a car, they're just shaking the fucking camera and jump cutting.

   26. JRJoe Rogan47:05

       (laughs)

   27. RJRoy Wood Jr.47:05

       Billion dollar franchise getting rebooted now. Like, that, like when I see shit like that, I don't get jealous. I go, "Well, fuck, I need to go and fucking guerrilla some shit together and learn."

   28. JRJoe Rogan47:15

       Yeah.

   29. RJRoy Wood Jr.47:16

       So that's why I started trying to learn, like, fucking video editing, audio editing, all that shit, man, so I can-

   30. JRJoe Rogan47:21

       Yeah, no, it's inspiring. I love when, when I walked in the greenroom and I saw you fucking with that software. I love when people are hustling, when they're doing things like that, learning new things. And you're like, "You know what? Fuck this Final Cut Pro shit, I'm gonna learn a- Adobe Premier. They keep fucking with me, making me buy a new version every year."
5. 1:00:00 – 1:05:04

   Porn actress? …

   1. RJRoy Wood Jr.1:00:00

      you're working with a porn studio, there's some bread, there's gotta be a little bit of money. And one of the, um, porn stars was... Is it actress? What's the fucking word now, uh, really?

   2. JRJoe Rogan1:00:10

      Porn actress?

   3. RJRoy Wood Jr.1:00:11

      Yeah. So one of the actresses, her car is blocking someone's. So I go out, "Oh yeah, just give me the keys. I'll go move your car." And this car had to be the most filthy, saddest, fucking... Like, to the point where I'm like, "If this is what fucking on camera gets you, there's gotta be something else out there." And you wanna talk about people that need to see where the curve is, I think if you're a woman and you're cool with doing porn, you're probably better off just doing it on some self starting shit than even dealing with any of these LA crooks in the first place.

   4. JRJoe Rogan1:00:41

      Yeah. If you could figure out a way to get an audience... I know there's a lot of dudes who, uh, they, they run these companies that girls use where they just, uh, people pay to see their videos. Like, like someone'll ask you, like, uh, l- if you're a, a porn actress, they'll say, "Hey, I want you to use this dildo and cover your tits with whip cream and I'll give you 150 bucks." And then-

   5. RJRoy Wood Jr.1:01:04

      On some live stream-

   6. JRJoe Rogan1:01:05

      Yeah.

   7. RJRoy Wood Jr.1:01:05

      ... like private Skype type shit.

   8. JRJoe Rogan1:01:07

      Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They make their money doing that. And they'll do that like all day long and rake in thousands of dollars.

   9. RJRoy Wood Jr.1:01:12

      Yeah, that's like the food videos where you sit butt naked and eat some food and you go on like a virtual date-

   10. JRJoe Rogan1:01:17

       (laughs) Really?

   11. RJRoy Wood Jr.1:01:17

       ... with the person. Yeah, uh, I think it's...

   12. JRJoe Rogan1:01:20

       ... butt naked food eating?

   13. RJRoy Wood Jr.1:01:21

       Sometimes naked, sometimes not.

   14. JRJoe Rogan1:01:23

       And, like, you're having dinner on Skype?

   15. RJRoy Wood Jr.1:01:24

       There's, there's a lot of that in Asia. Yeah, a woman's just looking straight at the camera, "So anyway today, I'm..." (chewing sounds)

   16. JRJoe Rogan1:01:29

       Do you talk to her? Do you have-

   17. RJRoy Wood Jr.1:01:30

       That's up to you.

   18. JRJoe Rogan1:01:31

       ... conversations back to her?

   19. RJRoy Wood Jr.1:01:32

       It's, sometimes it's just a straight video and you don't get to interact with it-

   20. JRJoe Rogan1:01:36

       Oh.

   21. RJRoy Wood Jr.1:01:36

       ... because there's multiple people watching the feed concurrently.

   22. JRJoe Rogan1:01:39

       How creepy.

   23. RJRoy Wood Jr.1:01:39

       Or, if you wanna pay a little extra, yeah, one on one. I will sit here and pretend to be on a date with you. And we can... And it's just, that's more feeding loneliness-

   24. JRJoe Rogan1:01:48

       (laughs)

   25. RJRoy Wood Jr.1:01:49

       ... than some sort of erotic desire, but-

   26. JRJoe Rogan1:01:51

       (exhales) Oh, it's-

   27. RJRoy Wood Jr.1:01:51

       There's not a lot of money in it. Uh-

   28. JRJoe Rogan1:01:52

       No.

   29. RJRoy Wood Jr.1:01:53

       Mia Khalifa was talking about that shit a couple weeks ago.

   30. JRJoe Rogan1:01:55

       What was she doing?

Episode duration: 2:50:19