Joe Rogan Experience #1348 - Bill Burr

1. 0:00 – 3:20

   Intro

   1. JRJoe Rogan0:00

      ... two, one. Young Bill Burr, Paper Tiger coming out tonight-

   2. BBBill Burr0:06

      (laughs)

   3. JRJoe Rogan0:06

      ... on Netflix. Woo, exciting.

   4. BBBill Burr0:09

      Are you pumped?

   5. JRJoe Rogan0:10

      Uh, yes I am. I'm very excited, uh... I think more just to see, you know, just so people see how good it looks, because Mike Binder directed it. And, uh, you know, I... I just... I don't know. I just had this idea for how a special... I wanted it to look. And none of it really had to do with other, like, m- necessarily, uh, comedy specials, more like rock concerts that I saw. I'm not saying it's all, like, super jumpy and stuff but just sort of like, uh... I don't know. That's weird how... The way they shot shit back in the day, where they held shots longer so it sucked you in so you kind of felt not necessarily that you were there but the presence of being there. And I really have this belief that if you fucking go at it really quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, it's like flipping through the channels and each time, like, your brain resets.

   6. BBBill Burr0:53

      Yeah.

   7. JRJoe Rogan0:54

      And like when you go to a show, you're just sitting there looking at the band or looking at the comedian like that. It's not like, "I'm here. Now I'm in the balcony. Now I'm behind you. Now I'm up here," and all that. So we tried to make sure, like, the pacing of it... I explained it to him and he was just like, "I get it. I get it."

   8. BBBill Burr1:07

      Well, he's a comic, so-

   9. JRJoe Rogan1:09

      Yeah.

   10. BBBill Burr1:09

       ... that certainly helps.

   11. JRJoe Rogan1:10

       Yeah, so the way he did it, uh... I hope that people see that as opposed to the shit that they normally do, like, "Mm, mm, how can I get offended?"

   12. BBBill Burr1:21

       (laughs) Well, they're definitely gonna get offended. It's a... It's a sport now to get offended by comedy. It seems like people get excited to be offended.

   13. JRJoe Rogan1:29

       I know. A lot of the questions I've gotten on... from people, non-comedians, that have been about, you know... "Well, what... In light of Dave's special," it's just like-

   14. BBBill Burr1:37

       (laughs)

   15. JRJoe Rogan1:37

       ... "Weren't you guys all mad at Sebastian, like, a week ago?"

   16. BBBill Burr1:39

       (laughs)

   17. JRJoe Rogan1:40

       "Now it's Dave?"

   18. BBBill Burr1:40

       Were they mad at him for, uh, the m- the VH1 thing?

   19. JRJoe Rogan1:43

       No, they weren't. One person got mad and wrote something, and then everybody, "Oh yeah, oh yeah." I di-

   20. BBBill Burr1:48

       (laughs)

   21. JRJoe Rogan1:48

       I didn't realize I didn't like that. I don't like that.

   22. BBBill Burr1:51

       Well, what was it? I didn't... I didn't hear a peep out of that. Did you hear... What, what, what did they say?

   23. JRJoe Rogan1:54

       Oh, I don't wanna start it back up for him. (laughs)

   24. BBBill Burr1:56

       Oh. (laughs)

   25. JRJoe Rogan1:57

       Stop trying to get him-

   26. BBBill Burr1:58

       (laughs)

   27. JRJoe Rogan1:58

       ... get him all going again. It was just like, uh-

   28. BBBill Burr2:01

       I don't know why he did that anyway. I was like, those things are never fun. You're, you're, you're basically, you know... You're the host of what's a commercial for a bunch of bands. It's just... He's a great comic. He sells out Madison Square Garden. Like he doesn't need to do that.

   29. JRJoe Rogan2:17

       Four times, and he did a great job too.

   30. BBBill Burr2:18

       Yeah.
2. 3:20 – 5:00

   CDs

   1. BBBill Burr3:20

      what I'm talking about. They're making, uh, CDs? Selling CDs after the show?

   2. JRJoe Rogan3:23

      I know. I used to remember that MTV was cooler than VH1.

   3. BBBill Burr3:27

      Does your Jaguar have a CD player?

   4. JRJoe Rogan3:31

      Um, no. Why?

   5. BBBill Burr3:33

      Did I-... My, my car doesn't have one either.

   6. JRJoe Rogan3:35

      All right.

   7. BBBill Burr3:35

      My Tesla doesn't have a fucking-

   8. JRJoe Rogan3:36

      I was trying to do the math. Is he subtly insulting me?

   9. BBBill Burr3:39

      No. (laughs)

   10. JRJoe Rogan3:39

       You got a cassette tape in there?

   11. BBBill Burr3:40

       (laughs) I'm just saying they don't-

   12. JRJoe Rogan3:41

       Freckles? (laughs)

   13. BBBill Burr3:42

       They don't have 'em anymore. I've la-

   14. JRJoe Rogan3:44

       I got a VCR in the trunk.

   15. BBBill Burr3:46

       Somewhere along the line, they just stopped making 'em.

   16. JRJoe Rogan3:48

       Well, that's the thing, you know. When in... I was in New York all summer and, and all those, all those... The up-and-coming rappers are, like, trying to hand you a CD. It's like, I don't... I... What am I gonna do with that?

   17. BBBill Burr3:57

       They still have CDs?

   18. JRJoe Rogan3:58

       Well, then they do something, then they sc-... Oh, uh, just click on this or scan this and it goes to like, a, a, a Vimeo page. And then I'm like, "Is this guy in my phone now?" Like, "What just happened? Is he out of my contacts?"

   19. BBBill Burr4:10

       Ooh.

   20. JRJoe Rogan4:10

       Yeah, so I just kind of s- steer clear to them.

   21. BBBill Burr4:13

       I get weirded out by those little Q scan things. Is that what they call them? Is it a Q, Q, what was it?

   22. JRJoe Rogan4:19

       QR code.

   23. BBBill Burr4:19

       QR code. I get weirded out by those things, because your camera goes on and then, boom, it opens up a website. I'm like, "What is happening here?"

   24. JRJoe Rogan4:26

       I'll tell you what's a weird one, is they have home security systems now where... I was reading an ad for this on my podcast, and then I... I was thinking, like, afterwards, like, like, a lot of times, home... I guess, um, I don't know, alarm goes off because your window blows open and then everybody fucking shows up and it's like, "Oh, sorry, the window blew open." This actually has video cameras so they can confirm that somebody is in your house. But then I'm thinking, like, "Well, what's to stop them from just turn that on and start watching your life like a show?"

   25. BBBill Burr4:58

       Nothing.

   26. JRJoe Rogan4:58

       Like, "Hey, hey, they're fighting again."

3. 5:00 – 11:00

   Privacy

   1. JRJoe Rogan5:01

   2. BBBill Burr5:01

      Well, for sure if there's a stream, it's possible for someone to do that. For sure. If there's a stream, someone can get to you.

   3. JRJoe Rogan5:07

      No, no, in the contract, it says we would never do that.

   4. BBBill Burr5:09

      Oh.

   5. JRJoe Rogan5:10

      Oh, okay. (laughs)

   6. BBBill Burr5:10

      Oh, as long as they say that. It sound like some people don't. Look at this, doorbell camera from Ring has partnered with 400 police forces extending surveillance concerns. Yeah. Yeah.

   7. JRJoe Rogan5:22

      Yeah. I mean, as long as they're just using it to catch the bad guys, which is gonna be what they're saying, but there's, there's gonna be somebody... Somebody has their dick in their hand right now-

   8. BBBill Burr5:30

      (laughs)

   9. JRJoe Rogan5:30

      ... looking at that door... (laughs) Looking through that doorbell.

   10. BBBill Burr5:34

       It's inevitable.

   11. JRJoe Rogan5:35

       And then the way people get ab- obsessed, like, and then-

   12. BBBill Burr5:38

       Oh, yeah.

   13. JRJoe Rogan5:38

       ... then you're jerking off just to the woman walking up to the door to go into her house and it's not enough. "Man, I gotta see what's up... I gotta see what's behind the door." (laughs)

   14. BBBill Burr5:47

       (laughs)

   15. JRJoe Rogan5:48

       Calls up, "Hey, would you be interested in, uh, furthering your security?" "No, I think the doorbell's enough." "Interesting you say that. We just had a case the other day where unfortunately she thought it was enough and it wasn't." "Really?" And then sells them that. Now he's watching her eating Corn Flakes.

   16. BBBill Burr6:03

       It's a slow creep into your life.... how much time before it's everywhere, before everyone can see everyone everywhere?

   17. JRJoe Rogan6:12

       Yeah, I don't know. But what's weird is, younger people have a much different idea of privacy-

   18. BBBill Burr6:17

       Yeah.

   19. JRJoe Rogan6:18

       ... because their shit has kind of been out there. I would not want to be young right now. They have a real tough time, where... Dude, when I was younger, when I got my ass kicked, it was over. It wasn't video documentation for the rest of my life. "This is the kid from Rocky Point! He's all grown up now!" And you're trying to get laid in a bar, like, 20 years later, you're like, "Yes, that happened. I was, I was eight. Sorry."

   20. BBBill Burr6:41

       I was just thinking of that. I watched this kid try to throw a triangle up in a street fight, and the guy slammed him on his head and punched him unconscious and kept punching him while he was out.

   21. JRJoe Rogan6:49

       Oof.

   22. BBBill Burr6:49

       And then the kid just climbed off of him and walked towards his friends, and everybody's like, "Oh!" And this guy's lying on the ground, pawing up his arms, like, probably experiencing severe brain damage. And I'm thinking, "What if that was my son?" Like, you know, "What if that was your son?" You watch some, some guy slam him on his head, and then as he's unconscious punch him five, six, seven times in the face.

   23. JRJoe Rogan7:12

       Yeah, that's fucked.

   24. BBBill Burr7:13

       It's fucked.

   25. JRJoe Rogan7:14

       That's why I stopped fighting.

   26. BBBill Burr7:16

       That's why?

   27. JRJoe Rogan7:16

       Yeah.

   28. BBBill Burr7:16

       You didn't want to hurt anybody?

   29. JRJoe Rogan7:17

       No.

   30. BBBill Burr7:18

       (laughs)
4. 11:00 – 18:20

   Gigs

   1. JRJoe Rogan11:00

   2. BBBill Burr11:00

      Right.

   3. JRJoe Rogan11:00

      ... "What the fuck's this guy talking about?"

   4. BBBill Burr11:02

      Where'd you do gigs before you did London? When you did a run of gigs, did you do them in England or did you do them-

   5. JRJoe Rogan11:07

      Yeah, I did, uh, Liverpool, Manchester, uh, Glasgow. I can't remember. And then I did one other one, began with a B. I forget.

   6. BBBill Burr11:21

      (laughs)

   7. JRJoe Rogan11:21

      (laughs) You know, it was just literally bam, bam, bam. And I got sick when I was in, uh, Liverpool. I don't know what happened, if I ate something before I got there or whatever, and, uh, I had like this stomach virus. I had it the night too when I was shooting it, I was like getting over it. And, uh, so that was... I was just like, "There's always..." And I was thinking, "Is there always something or am I just that age that there always is something but I just don't notice until the night there's cameras here?" You know what I mean?

   8. BBBill Burr11:50

      When everything's heightened.

   9. JRJoe Rogan11:51

      Yeah. I'm like, "Ah, fucking threw my back out. Never fucking fails, special..."

   10. BBBill Burr11:55

       (laughs)

   11. JRJoe Rogan11:55

       Ba-ba-ba-ba, and it's just like, "Well, I throw my back out a couple times a year."

   12. BBBill Burr11:59

       (laughs)

   13. JRJoe Rogan11:59

       Except I'm just not shooting that night so I don't give a shit and I just joke about it, so why don't I just do that when I go to do it? So, um-

   14. BBBill Burr12:06

       How many shows did you film?

   15. JRJoe Rogan12:08

       Uh, we did two.... uh, and it wasn't the same night either, so it was kinda weird. We... Rather than a, bam, bam, so you're warmed up, I kind of had to get going both times.

   16. BBBill Burr12:17

       Right.

   17. JRJoe Rogan12:17

       So... And like most times, it was the set that I liked better. Uh, it was probably, I think the second night, so most of it's from the second night, and then there's just a couple, just 'cause it went a little too long, and I just... I just wanted to get in, kick the shit out of them, and get out, leave them wanting more-

   18. BBBill Burr12:31

       Hmm.

   19. JRJoe Rogan12:31

       ... the old-school thing. So there was just a couple... I think we just took, uh, just a couple things, just to kind of splice one section out of there, and splice the things and then get it going, so...

   20. BBBill Burr12:42

       How many seats?

   21. JRJoe Rogan12:44

       I don't, I don't remember. I don't remember.

   22. BBBill Burr12:45

       Was it a big place?

   23. JRJoe Rogan12:47

       I don't remember, but I do know the night of the special, like, I, I did this thing. I was making fun of that whole Support the Troops thing and everything, and what had happened was it wasn't working, and it was killing the whole tour. I'm like, "You gotta be fucking kidding me." Finally go to record this shit and blah, blah, blah, blah, and it turned out that some terrorist group had made a bunch of fucking threats or something that day.

   24. BBBill Burr13:09

       Ugh.

   25. JRJoe Rogan13:10

       Yeah, and nobody told me.

   26. BBBill Burr13:12

       Ugh (laughs) .

   27. JRJoe Rogan13:13

       You know? "Well, don't tell them. I don't want to get in with the fucking heads." So now I'm up there going like, "Why isn't this working?"

   28. BBBill Burr13:16

       (laughs)

   29. JRJoe Rogan13:16

       "Am I suddenly not funny?" Not like it didn't work, but it, it was just this thing hanging in the fucking air. Had I known that, I would've addressed it and then it would've been fine. So we just, we just spliced that little, you know, six, seven minutes out of there. Um, I don't know what it is.

   30. BBBill Burr13:32

       That's a great bit though. I love that bit.
5. 18:20 – 20:44

   John Pinette

   1. BBBill Burr18:20

   2. JRJoe Rogan18:20

      (laughs) Yeah.

   3. BBBill Burr18:20

      That's a Teddy Bergeron bit. He's wearing a wire. He's wearing a wire.

   4. JRJoe Rogan18:25

      That's right.

   5. BBBill Burr18:25

      Santa Claus isn't real, he's wearing a wire.

   6. JRJoe Rogan18:27

      That's right.

   7. BBBill Burr18:28

      How good was that guy?

   8. JRJoe Rogan18:30

      Oh, he was amazing.

   9. BBBill Burr18:30

      People don't know. He was one of the greatest-

   10. JRJoe Rogan18:31

       He was amazing.

   11. BBBill Burr18:32

       ... of all time, he really was. I saw him when I was an open mic-er and I almost quit. He, he went up on an open mic night.

   12. JRJoe Rogan18:39

       Oh, yeah.

   13. BBBill Burr18:40

       And, um, um, Bill McDonald was the host? Is that his name? Yeah.

   14. JRJoe Rogan18:45

       That's funny, those early on guys can make you wanna quit.

   15. BBBill Burr18:48

       Oh my God. Yeah, he, he was so good. He was so polished, and I felt like such a slob. He was just a professional.

   16. JRJoe Rogan18:56

       No, the thing about him too was, it was effortless and he made it look effortless. It was just effortless, he just went... Uh, John Pinette was a guy I saw, where I was just like... It didn't make me wanna quit, but I was just like, I was just like, "What the fuck was that?"

   17. BBBill Burr19:11

       Yeah.

   18. JRJoe Rogan19:12

       He went up on a, um, a Tuesday at Nick's-

   19. BBBill Burr19:15

       Yes.

   20. JRJoe Rogan19:16

       ... and it was like fucking, you know, there was, like, maybe 30 people. This place held 400 people, it was just like a lull. It was like, when I started it was the '80s hangover and just standup was dead. And there was, like, 30 people and there was a bunch of, you know, bitter comics going, "This place used to be packed, there'd be a line around the block. You should quit." All these fucking guys saying that.

   21. BBBill Burr19:34

       (laughs)

   22. JRJoe Rogan19:34

       (laughs) So fucking Pinette just dropped by, rest his soul, he just dropped by and he went up and did 12 minutes, and got a stan- a legit st-... It wasn't, "Oh, you're John Pinette. Thank you for stopping by."

   23. BBBill Burr19:45

       No.

   24. JRJoe Rogan19:45

       "You're famous." It was, he fucking murdered. I think that was the first time he was kinda... It was that era when he was doing that, "You go now," buffet bit.

   25. BBBill Burr19:55

       Yes.

   26. JRJoe Rogan19:56

       Where it just keeps... Every time you think it got to the height of how funny it could be, it went to another level, and then another, and another. The only time I ever saw a guy, maybe a guy like Regan or something where, where they just had that, they just repeat that thing. Uh, I, I was doing a tour with Norton Tell and Jim Breuer, and Jim Breuer had a bit.

   27. BBBill Burr20:16

       (sighs)

   28. JRJoe Rogan20:16

       Never cursed.

   29. BBBill Burr20:17

       About his dad shitting his pants?

   30. JRJoe Rogan20:18

       His dad shitting his pants.
6. 20:44 – 22:21

   Jim Breuer

   1. BBBill Burr20:44

      He's the mo- one of the most underrated comedians of all time. The worst I ever ate at coming up, ever, following Jim Breuer.

   2. JRJoe Rogan20:50

      Ugh.

   3. BBBill Burr20:51

      In, like, '91, '91.

   4. JRJoe Rogan20:52

      At The Boston?

   5. BBBill Burr20:53

      No, no, no. We were at, um, a Comedy Loft, I think in Nanuet, New York. And, uh, I should not have been headlining. I'd been doing comedy-

   6. JRJoe Rogan21:03

      (laughs)

   7. BBBill Burr21:03

      I'd been doing comedy-

   8. JRJoe Rogan21:03

      I was just talking to Bobby Kelly about those gigs.

   9. BBBill Burr21:05

      (laughs)

   10. JRJoe Rogan21:06

       Those gigs where you shouldn't have been headlining, but you were.

   11. BBBill Burr21:08

       No way. I'd been doing comedy maybe three years, four years maybe. Maybe four. I just wasn't ready. No way. But my manager was good, and he got me a gig as a headliner, 'cause it was decent money.

   12. JRJoe Rogan21:17

       Oh, and Breuer was middling?

   13. BBBill Burr21:19

       Mm-hmm. We were fine. I was fine, until late show Saturday night. When I tell you he went up like... Just like a man possessed. And he used to have this bit about coming home drunk and, uh, his mother was a demon. You know, like-

   14. JRJoe Rogan21:34

       Oh, God.

   15. BBBill Burr21:34

       (laughs) Do you remember the bit?

   16. JRJoe Rogan21:35

       No, but I know his talents, so he's already doing-

   17. BBBill Burr21:38

       Oh.

   18. JRJoe Rogan21:38

       ... him drunk and then that demon voice-

   19. BBBill Burr21:39

       Oh my God.

   20. JRJoe Rogan21:39

       ... that he's gonna do. It's always-

   21. BBBill Burr21:41

       And his facial expressions, and, and he just caught it. He just caught it. Where it was like I'd n-

   22. JRJoe Rogan21:46

       (laughs)

   23. BBBill Burr21:46

       I mean, he had murdered all week. He'd murdered all week, but I'd gotten by. Like, I did not have as good a set as him all week, but I got by. It was good, good enough. No, not embarrassing. Saturday night, late show, lit me on fire.

   24. JRJoe Rogan22:01

       Championship round.

   25. BBBill Burr22:02

       Lit me on fire.

   26. JRJoe Rogan22:03

       (laughs)

   27. BBBill Burr22:03

       Wa- I walked offstage early. I was supposed to do 45 minutes, I think I did 35. It was death, 35 of death.

   28. JRJoe Rogan22:09

       Ugh.

   29. BBBill Burr22:09

       Nervous, feeling like an asshole.

   30. JRJoe Rogan22:12

       Sweating, mouth drying up.
7. 22:21 – 26:15

   Vegas

   1. JRJoe Rogan22:21

      w-... I just did Vegas. Whenever I go there, I always go by the, uh, The Trop, right?

   2. BBBill Burr22:28

      Yeah.

   3. JRJoe Rogan22:28

      That's what it is?

   4. BBBill Burr22:28

      Yeah, Tropicana.

   5. JRJoe Rogan22:29

      Yeah. I got... I was contracted to be the headliner, and I got bumped down to the middle act.

   6. BBBill Burr22:36

      Oof.

   7. JRJoe Rogan22:37

      I got demoted.

   8. BBBill Burr22:38

      Who was the middle?

   9. JRJoe Rogan22:40

      I don't remember, but he was great. And it was... Frank DelPizzo was the, uh, was the host, and he was like a seasoned headliner. The other guy was a seasoned headliner and I just had... I don't know what the... I was some young guy they were giving a fucking shot to. So I went out there, this is like the late '90s, and I had the- my shiny black button-down, I'm playing Vegas shirt, you know?

   10. BBBill Burr22:58

       (laughs)

   11. JRJoe Rogan22:59

       And, uh, I remember my manager at the time gave me shit about the shirt, going, "You're gonna wear that?" I go, "Yeah, it's fucking Vegas. You can wear whatever you want." So I walked into the club and it was just where The Trop was then, it was like an older crowd, 'cause they hadn't redone it or whatever, so it was just like their dying off crowd.

   12. BBBill Burr23:15

       Oof.

   13. JRJoe Rogan23:16

       So dude, I went up there and I, I did sort of okay. I just did okay, but they both had better sets than me, and then that was the Tuesday or the w- or the Wednesday. And then the Wednesday I came up, and by then I started to have another not good set, and then I got in my head like, (clears throat) like, "I'm not gonna be able to make these people laugh." And I remember just seeing, like, there was just this lady back towards the kitchen and, like, her old lady, you know, that hair that looks like it's flammable from-

   14. BBBill Burr23:42

       (laughs)

   15. JRJoe Rogan23:43

       It was just backlit, and that's all I could see, dude. And I just went in and out of like, like bombing. And, uh, so then, what was it, Thursday morning comes. I'm flying my girlfriend out at the time so she could see my big headlining set in Vegas. "My name's out on the sign!" Right? And, uh, I remember she ca-... I don't remember her name, but she called me up. She's just like, "Uh, Bill, it's so and so from the, uh, The Trop. How you doing?" I'm like, "Uh, good, good." She goes, "Yeah, uh, so h- how do you think it's going?"

   16. BBBill Burr24:16

       (laughs)

   17. JRJoe Rogan24:16

       That's what she said.I was like-

   18. BBBill Burr24:19

       (sighs)

   19. JRJoe Rogan24:19

       ... "You know, I think it's going pretty good." You know, the crowd was a little old last night, it was blah... And then she just goes, "Yeah, you know, I don't, I don't think it's happening. And, you know, I, I think it'd be better if you just middle. We're still gonna pay you the same money." She was real... And that was the worst part, she was really nice about it. And, uh, then I had to go down there that night. My girlfriend was coming in the next night, I had to go down there and, uh, you know, I just remember coming in and Frank was looking at me. And I... He was sort of looking at me like, how is he gonna handle this? And I just was just, "Ah, I guess I suck," or whatever. And they just real... And then, then they were, they were both... They were never mean to me. They were never mean to me, they were both really, really cool guys and we had, like, a great weekend. But then my girlfriend came down and it was just like, I had to explain to her why there was another person going (laughs) after me.

   20. BBBill Burr25:07

       Oof.

   21. JRJoe Rogan25:07

       And-

   22. BBBill Burr25:07

       Did it go better with you as a middle? Or were you sure-

   23. JRJoe Rogan25:10

       Yeah. You know, you know what it was? Uh, yeah, it went better, and then by the end of the weekend I figured it out. But I was never funnier than the headliner or Frank. I just wasn't. I just, I wasn't seasoned. I didn't know how to do it. And it was my first weekend in Vegas and, um... Is that true? I think it was, it was my first weekend in Vegas, 'cause then, then the next few years I, I would middle at, uh, the Improv at Harris. So, uh, that was the thing. And you know what was funny, was I was really depressed about it and my girlfriend didn't care. She goes, "No, we're still here, we can go out and have a good time," or whatever. And then I was almost getting, like, upset with her that she didn't understand.

   24. BBBill Burr25:48

       (laughs)

   25. JRJoe Rogan25:49

       Where instead of being like, "Oh, wow, you're really cool that the reason you came out here was 'cause you just wanted to hang with me." I was too young and angry and self-involved.

   26. BBBill Burr25:58

       Oh.

   27. JRJoe Rogan25:59

       Oh, yeah.

   28. BBBill Burr25:59

       It's hard when your girl sees you bomb, too.

   29. JRJoe Rogan26:02

       Well, fortunately she didn't see that.

   30. BBBill Burr26:03

       (coughs)
8. 26:15 – 27:06

   No GPS

   1. BBBill Burr26:15

      life, um, I was working with J.B. Smoove, who's fucking phenomenal.

   2. JRJoe Rogan26:19

      Ah.

   3. BBBill Burr26:19

      And, uh, I was, uh, supposed to be the headliner.

   4. JRJoe Rogan26:24

      Uh-huh.

   5. BBBill Burr26:24

      But it was a weird college gig in the middle of nowhere in Jersey.

   6. JRJoe Rogan26:28

      Right.

   7. BBBill Burr26:28

      And it was hard to get to and there was no GPS back then, so you had to follow directions, right? Remember those?

   8. JRJoe Rogan26:34

      Yeah, right.

   9. BBBill Burr26:34

      They give you a piece of paper-

   10. JRJoe Rogan26:35

       Yeah.

   11. BBBill Burr26:35

       ... they call you up, "Okay, you're gonna take a right, uh, here, and a left there-"

   12. JRJoe Rogan26:39

       Yeah.

   13. BBBill Burr26:39

       "... and then you take the 101." So, uh, I get there-

   14. JRJoe Rogan26:41

       I used to do a bit about the person doing the bad directions, where they would go, "Okay, and then you're gonna see a farmhouse on the right. It has a red door and there's cows out front." You'd be like, "All right, am I gonna take a right there?" "No, you're gonna keep going."

   15. BBBill Burr26:53

       (laughs)

   16. JRJoe Rogan26:53

       And they just kept bringing up shit that you were gonna see and it's just like, finally, you're just like, "Just tell me the fucking thing that I'm gonna see when I turn." "There's a grassy hill and there's, there's a, there's a scarecrow on it," I, so I turn, "No, you're gonna keep going." It was just like... All right, sorry.

9. 27:06 – 28:33

   Malibu Fires

   1. JRJoe Rogan27:06

   2. BBBill Burr27:06

      No worries, no worries. So I miraculously got there on time, but J.B. did not. And so they go, "Well, we're gonna wait for J.B. 'cause he's not here yet." So I go, "Okay." They go, "Well, we have a lounge, you can go sit there and watch TV." So I watch TV and it's a special, um, a news special on the Malibu fires. So this is probably like, whatever, '93 or something like that.

   3. JRJoe Rogan27:29

      Mm-hmm.

   4. BBBill Burr27:29

      Some gigantic fires. No, it was be- before '93, it was like '91, '92. And, uh, there was a fireman. The fireman was weeping because he had saved his house, but his neighbor lost his house and he had saved up all his money to help build this house. This gu- this guy, you know, it was like his life's work to build this house. But he was devastated because he was a fireman and his neighbors lost their house. This guy's weeping, he's weeping about his house. And then they had this fucking kid calling out for his dog. They couldn't find the dog, they lost the dog, and they were hoping the dog got away to safety.

   5. JRJoe Rogan28:02

      Jesus, yo.

   6. BBBill Burr28:02

      So this kid's walking around, "Rusty? Rusty?"

   7. JRJoe Rogan28:06

      (laughs)

   8. BBBill Burr28:06

      Just walking down the street-

   9. JRJoe Rogan28:07

      Oh, no.

   10. BBBill Burr28:08

       "... Rusty? Rusty?" Then the lady opens up the door, "J.B.'s not here, so we're gonna have you go on first." I'm like, "Oh, no." So I went on stage thinking of that kid calling for the dog, and the fireman crying, and I just ate shit. I mean, I just went... I had nothing. I had, there was noth- (laughs) It, it was nothing-

   11. JRJoe Rogan28:29

       (laughs) Did you have to do an hour?

   12. BBBill Burr28:31

       No, I, I wound up doing, I

10. 28:33 – 29:37

    NACA

    1. BBBill Burr28:33

       wound up doing... I think I was supposed to do 45 minutes. I wound up doing the 45 minutes. And I mean, I ate shit. I did not, I did not get any laughs, I don't remember. I mean, I was depressed. I remember thinking, "I can never do this again." I did it one other time too, though. "I could never do this again, it was fucking terrible." To make matters worse, J.B. eventually got there, halfway into my set, he goes on after me and fucking murders. I mean murdered, nuked the room, flattened it. These kids were so tired of me, they were so... And I was like, "Look, I fucked up, I w- I watched this, depri-" And they were so excited to see me because you know when, they have those college conference things-

    2. JRJoe Rogan29:07

       Right.

    3. BBBill Burr29:07

       ... where you go, like, NAFTA or whatever it is? And you go... Is that what it's called? What are those things called? NACA? That was the name?

    4. JRJoe Rogan29:12

       No, you just made me forget it, uh... Began with an A.

    5. BBBill Burr29:18

       Yeah. Mm, so, the something college campuses? Whatever the fuck it is. That is-

    6. JRJoe Rogan29:23

       I never forgot that in my life, 'til you just said NAFTA.

    7. BBBill Burr29:26

       (laughs) It was-

    8. JRJoe Rogan29:28

       (laughs)

    9. BBBill Burr29:28

       AFTRA?

    10. JRJoe Rogan29:29

        It's over, now I'll never remember it.

    11. BBBill Burr29:30

        AFCA? (laughs)

    12. JRJoe Rogan29:31

        (laughs)

    13. BBBill Burr29:31

        Someone's screaming it-

    14. JRJoe Rogan29:32

        (laughs)

    15. BBBill Burr29:32

        There's a comic out there screaming it into the t- their career.

    16. JRJoe Rogan29:35

        NACA.

    17. BBBill Burr29:35

        NACA, that's right.

11. 29:37 – 31:06

    Murdered

    1. BBBill Burr29:37

       So, um, I did NACA and murdered. I mean, murdered. They told me, "Look, you can do it clean."

    2. JRJoe Rogan29:42

       Strong interest forms, I remember that.

    3. BBBill Burr29:44

       Oh, strong interest?

    4. JRJoe Rogan29:46

       Strong interest forms- Yeah.

    5. BBBill Burr29:47

       ... after those sh- sets. They, they said, "Look..." (clears throat) I remember having a conversation with my agent, she said, "Look, I know you're, you're not clean, but if you're clean, you can get a lot of gigs. You can get a lot of gigs."

    6. JRJoe Rogan29:58

       Yeah, that was the big, big switch.

    7. BBBill Burr29:59

       And I made this decision, but people were eating shit. They were eating shit at the conference, 'cause all these comics were, like, nervous. And I said, "You know, I'm doing my club set, I don't give a fuck. I'm not a, I'm not a clean comic. I can't do this, I've already done this before. I tried." And I went up and I did all sex material and fucking murdered. So these kids were so excited to see me. And I got there and just ate shit.

    8. JRJoe Rogan30:20

       ... oh, no. They, and they, they were going-

    9. BBBill Burr30:22

       They were pumped.

    10. JRJoe Rogan30:22

        ... "Wait till this guy comes."

    11. BBBill Burr30:23

        Oh, yeah.

    12. JRJoe Rogan30:24

        Oh, wow.

    13. BBBill Burr30:24

        He's the man. He's gonna be huge someday. Oh my God, I ate shit, so hard. (laughs)

    14. JRJoe Rogan30:30

        (laughs) I'm just picturing you doing all your sex material, depressed-

    15. BBBill Burr30:34

        (laughs)

    16. JRJoe Rogan30:35

        ... bombing, just going-

    17. BBBill Burr30:36

        Bombing.

    18. JRJoe Rogan30:36

        You ever-

    19. BBBill Burr30:37

        Not just bombing, but like-

    20. JRJoe Rogan30:38

        You ever bang a girl doggy style?

    21. BBBill Burr30:40

        Nah.

    22. JRJoe Rogan30:40

        ... trying to think of what you old, but it's, "This is how you do it, not this scoliosis thing."

    23. BBBill Burr30:47

        (laughs)

    24. JRJoe Rogan30:48

        (laughs) 'Cause I remember them having to follow that bit.

    25. BBBill Burr30:50

        Yeah, yeah, that's a bit.

    26. JRJoe Rogan30:50

        I remember that bit, and that bit would fucking murder-

    27. BBBill Burr30:54

        Not that night. (laughs)

    28. JRJoe Rogan30:56

        I remember that, and then every chick in the room wanted to fuck you, and then I would go on stage with my orange afro, "Hey, I have things to say."

    29. BBBill Burr31:02

        (laughs)

    30. JRJoe Rogan31:02

        "Anybody?"
12. 31:06 – 32:38

    Best Evidence

    1. BBBill Burr31:06

       that, I ate shit. And, uh, one other time I ate shit real bad, I was headlining as well. Um, this one, this, this one is not nearly as bad as the other two eat shits. The Jim Breuer one was devastating, but in all fairness, it was good for me because it changed my act. It made me realize, like, you gotta respect people's fucking attention span. You can't go up there thinking about yourself-

    2. JRJoe Rogan31:25

       Right.

    3. BBBill Burr31:25

       ... and trying to... You gotta respect these people paid money, work hard, like, you gotta be ready and you can't fucking take headliner gigs when you're not ready to headline.

    4. JRJoe Rogan31:33

       Yeah.

    5. BBBill Burr31:33

       I remember I did the same place a year and a half later and fucking murdered. And I was so happy. I was so... The guy said, "Wow, you fucking got better." I'm like, "Thank you. Thank you."

    6. JRJoe Rogan31:45

       This thing almost went out there, too.

    7. BBBill Burr31:47

       The other time where I ate shit, I act- I, I read a conspiracy theory book about JFK that I've, I fucking love this. It's called Best Evidence by David Lifton. This buddy of mine who was in a band-

    8. JRJoe Rogan31:59

       Behold a Pale Horse, that's great reading before you go up.

    9. BBBill Burr32:02

       (laughs)

    10. JRJoe Rogan32:03

        (laughs) He went, "We kinda came here to forget our problems."

    11. BBBill Burr32:06

        Well, I, I, I read this and I was like, "Oh my God, they shot JFK."

    12. JRJoe Rogan32:10

        Mm.

    13. BBBill Burr32:10

        "This fucking, the government," he said, "the casket was empty. The fucking... They did, they changed the autopsy." I had all this shit in my head and I was, you know, 25, so I was...

    14. JRJoe Rogan32:19

        Written by some guy who wasn't there.

    15. BBBill Burr32:21

        Well, it was written by a very credible guy who was actually paid. He was an accountant, and he was, uh, they, they hired him-

    16. JRJoe Rogan32:27

        He was so inside they let him look in the casket?

    17. BBBill Burr32:29

        No.

    18. JRJoe Rogan32:30

        They said, "Listen, I'm just gonna show this to you."

    19. BBBill Burr32:32

        "There's nobody in here." They hir- (sighs) "We did it." Keep your mouth shut. They hired him to go over

13. 32:38 – 36:21

    The Warren Commission

    1. BBBill Burr32:38

       the Warren Commission Report, but they never expected anybody to read the entire report, 'cause the report is like fucking 900 volumes or some shit, just an incredible amount of pages. But this guy went over it with a fine-toothed comb and he's like, "This whole thing was horse shit." Like, the whole Warren Commission Report was horse shit they concocted, all these different things. So I, I went on stage with this, this thing in my head, like, "Oh my God, there's evil people running the government and they killed Kennedy and ugh."

    2. JRJoe Rogan33:03

       And I'm the guy who's gonna save everybody.

    3. BBBill Burr33:05

       So I ate shit on Thursday night, and, uh, and then I, you know, they were very, they were a little uneasy with me, 'cause they knew I was, like I was, I already was doing well at clubs. Like, I was a, a comic they were looking forward to seeing.

    4. JRJoe Rogan33:18

       Right.

    5. BBBill Burr33:19

       And then the next night I apologized, I said, "Listen, I fucked up. Yesterday I read this conspiracy theory book and it'll never happen again." And I went up and killed the next night. But I knew, I knew I'd fucked up.

    6. JRJoe Rogan33:29

       (laughs)

    7. BBBill Burr33:29

       (laughs) I knew it was a mistake. It was just, oh, they just-

    8. JRJoe Rogan33:32

       You read the Declaration of Independence (laughing) the next night before he went up.

    9. BBBill Burr33:35

       I was just listening to AC/DC all night. (singing)

    10. JRJoe Rogan33:39

        (laughs) You know what's funny? I listened to them on the way over here.

    11. BBBill Burr33:42

        Oh.

    12. JRJoe Rogan33:42

        They'll never get over, 'cause I-

    13. BBBill Burr33:43

        Man.

    14. JRJoe Rogan33:43

        ... I got the new Tool album and it's fucking unbelievable. And uh, but I always end up just, I can't get out of that fucking orbit. I just ended up going back.

    15. BBBill Burr33:54

        Well, it's such good shit, man. It's such good... When I, when I need, uh, a really pick-me-up, I listen to Whole Lotta Rosie.

    16. JRJoe Rogan34:01

        Oh, yeah. Yeah, that'll get you going.

    17. BBBill Burr34:03

        How fucking good is Dean Delray's voice? How fucking good is his voice?

    18. JRJoe Rogan34:08

        Now, when he's like-

    19. BBBill Burr34:08

        When he was singing that?

    20. JRJoe Rogan34:09

        Oh, yeah.

    21. BBBill Burr34:10

        Fuck, that sh-

    22. JRJoe Rogan34:11

        You shoulda heard it. You shoulda heard it in, in the Forum.

    23. BBBill Burr34:12

        I put, I put it on my Instagram. Dude, his voice is fucking phenomenal.

    24. JRJoe Rogan34:17

        Yeah.

    25. BBBill Burr34:17

        Wasn't it Whole Lotta Rosie that he was singing?

    26. JRJoe Rogan34:19

        Yeah. He sang a whole bunch of shit. He sang a whole bunch of shit.

    27. BBBill Burr34:22

        His fucking voice is incredible. Isn't he going through some weird-

    28. JRJoe Rogan34:26

        God damn it.

    29. BBBill Burr34:26

        ... back shit right now? Does he have some bulging disc issues?

    30. JRJoe Rogan34:30

        Yeah, I think it's, it's leftover from, uh-
14. 36:21 – 37:25

    Maynard

    1. JRJoe Rogan36:21

       but like-

    2. BBBill Burr36:22

       ... um, look at this piano rotates and everything. Smoke, fire.

    3. JRJoe Rogan36:26

       Oh, yeah.

    4. BBBill Burr36:27

       Look at the background. Woo!

    5. JRJoe Rogan36:28

       As they were just jamming on that thing for like-

    6. BBBill Burr36:29

       Wow.

    7. JRJoe Rogan36:30

       I actually missed that part. I was at the, uh, Steak 'n Shake or something.

    8. BBBill Burr36:34

       (laughs) Speaking of, uh, tool and rock-related injuries, you know Maynard, when he's on stage, he stomps his foot on the ground, like stomps, like, you know, he's always, like, stomped when he sings. Well, he's a jujitsu guy and, uh, he was having a hard time, like, working on certain moves. He's like, "My fucking hip, it's like something's wrong with my hip." (clears throat) He wound up having to get a hip replacement from stomping on the ground.

    9. JRJoe Rogan36:56

       I love those guys.

    10. BBBill Burr36:57

        He stomped his hip out.

    11. JRJoe Rogan36:59

        Do you know Hulk Hogan, when he, back when we were doing the Opie and Anthony Show, he came in? I was like, "I thought this guy was like 6'7""."

    12. BBBill Burr37:04

        Yeah, yeah.

    13. JRJoe Rogan37:05

        And his f- but he, he was like 6'4" and his arms hung down to his knees, though.

    14. BBBill Burr37:10

        Yeah.

    15. JRJoe Rogan37:10

        And he ended up saying that because of that finishing move he did where he would leap up in the air and just land on his ass night after night after night, week after week, he lost three inches in height.

    16. BBBill Burr37:21

        Yeah, all of his disks.

    17. JRJoe Rogan37:22

        His spine, yeah, it got so compacted.

    18. BBBill Burr37:24

        Yeah,

15. 37:25 – 38:21

    Spinal decompression

    1. BBBill Burr37:25

       yeah.

    2. JRJoe Rogan37:25

       Um-

    3. BBBill Burr37:25

       All your disks deteriorate from, from wrestling. Like almost every wrestler I know, including me, I have a bunch of disks that are all fucked up, but they're, they're okay enough where I can get by. And I use machines, like there's a machine called the Reverse Hyper where it sort of decompresses your spine. I do all this spinal decompression shit. I actually... And I get Regenakeem once a year, which is like this, um, it's like an advanced form of platelet-rich plasma. I actually got it today. I've got like little band-aids on my back.

    4. JRJoe Rogan37:54

       (coughs) You're gonna fucking outlive all of us.

    5. BBBill Burr37:56

       Listen, I'm, I'm fu- I can-

    6. JRJoe Rogan37:58

       (laughs)

    7. BBBill Burr37:58

       I've got the cash to pay for this shit, I, I fucking take everything.

    8. JRJoe Rogan38:00

       I know.

    9. BBBill Burr38:00

       I'm like, "What do you got? What do you got that works?" (laughs)

    10. JRJoe Rogan38:03

        Your body's like a Restomod, you know?

    11. BBBill Burr38:06

        (laughs)

    12. JRJoe Rogan38:07

        (laughs) It's like, you look at him and he's 50, 51, but underneath it's 2019. (laughs)

    13. BBBill Burr38:13

        (laughs)

    14. JRJoe Rogan38:13

        He's got a little iPod jack in his fucking chest. (laughs)

    15. BBBill Burr38:17

        (laughs) A Restomod. People don't even know what we're talking about.

16. 38:21 – 40:12

    Cadillac Eldorado

    1. BBBill Burr38:21

       We take an old car, like my Corvette that's... Well, it's not out there, but my Corvette, uh, that's what it is. It's like a 1965 on the outside, but the inside is all 2000s. It's all...

    2. JRJoe Rogan38:31

       Yeah.

    3. BBBill Burr38:31

       The suspension is all brand new, the modern chassis.

    4. JRJoe Rogan38:34

       Yeah, I like if the underneath, I don't like the interior also to look-

    5. BBBill Burr38:38

       Right, me too.

    6. JRJoe Rogan38:39

       ... like... Yeah, it all has to look like, like, uh...

    7. BBBill Burr38:42

       Yeah.

    8. JRJoe Rogan38:42

       Speaking of that, that's another reason why I had to go see the, uh, that Tarantino movie twice. The fact, for that was fucking amazing, was I was so busy looking at all the cars (clears throat) and it has one of my favorite cars of all fucking time. I'm not a speed guy, I like cruising, and there's a, a '67 Cadillac Eldorado in the color that I want in that. It's one of the meanest looking fucking cars ever.

    9. BBBill Burr39:04

       What color is it in the movie? I don't remember.

    10. JRJoe Rogan39:05

        It's like this, I don't know what-

    11. BBBill Burr39:06

        It's like a yellow or something?

    12. JRJoe Rogan39:07

        Yeah, yeah, Dean asked me that. He's like, "What's the factory color?" You know-

    13. BBBill Burr39:10

        Oh, no!

    14. JRJoe Rogan39:10

        ... 'cause he knows it. You know, he knows all of that, but he-

    15. BBBill Burr39:12

        Yeah.

    16. JRJoe Rogan39:12

        ... he knows it, right? It's like a, um, it's like this-

    17. BBBill Burr39:16

        There it is. Look at that.

    18. JRJoe Rogan39:17

        No, no, that, that's, that's, that's, uh, Leo's car.

    19. BBBill Burr39:20

        That's a hard copy. That's a hard copy. Um, doesn't he have a soft top in that? No. No, you know what I'm thinking of? I'm thinking of strange things.

    20. JRJoe Rogan39:28

        No, it's, it's one of Sharon, Sharon Tate's friends. Just look up Cadillac Eldorado, 'cause they're just gonna have... Yeah, the car Brad Pitt was driving. Dude, Leon- this is Leonardo DiCaprio's best work.

    21. BBBill Burr39:41

        Oh, he's amazing in it.

    22. JRJoe Rogan39:42

        He is fuck... You gotta see it again.

    23. BBBill Burr39:43

        He's amazing in it.

    24. JRJoe Rogan39:44

        I, I'm actually gonna see it for a third time to catch all the shit and I don't wanna ruin it for anybody, so anybody want- I'm not gonna say anything, but, uh...

    25. BBBill Burr39:51

        So Leonardo DiCaprio has a different one than Brad Pitt does?

    26. JRJoe Rogan39:55

        Well, Brad Pitt's character is driving Leo's car.

    27. BBBill Burr39:58

        Oh, it's the yellow one that he's in that, in that picture-

    28. JRJoe Rogan40:00

        Yeah.

    29. BBBill Burr40:00

        ... when he's leaning out the door.

    30. JRJoe Rogan40:00

        No, no, no, but the, the, the, the Eldorado, which I think is a '67 is... It, one of Sharon Tate's friends pulls up to her house in it.
17. 40:12 – 41:06

    Old Cadillacs

    1. BBBill Burr40:12

    2. JRJoe Rogan40:12

       Yeah.

    3. BBBill Burr40:13

       Yeah, those old Cadillacs are fucking phenomenal. Good luck getting one of those into the Comedy Store parking lot, though.

    4. JRJoe Rogan40:18

       Do I know-

    5. BBBill Burr40:18

       There's no, no room for anything else.

    6. JRJoe Rogan40:19

       What I would like to do... Yeah, just have the underne-

    7. BBBill Burr40:21

       (laughs)

    8. JRJoe Rogan40:21

       Everything be brand new underneath and then just, yeah, just drive in the fucking right lane, smoke a cigar.

    9. BBBill Burr40:27

       You can get it done. I know people-

    10. JRJoe Rogan40:28

        I know, I know I can't, but I... That's a slippery slope.

    11. BBBill Burr40:32

        Oh, I'm already down it.

    12. JRJoe Rogan40:32

        I know you are. Yeah, you own a warehouse. (laughs)

    13. BBBill Burr40:35

        (laughs)

    14. JRJoe Rogan40:35

        That's the slippery slope. So I have my old truck and, uh, like, I like going fast. If I was like at a track, like Dean went out and drove a bunch of fast cars out in Vegas and he was just like... He, he, he posted them too. He goes, uh, he was showing how fucking cool it was and it's like the next time... That, that time I went out there, I took my lovely wife with me. So we were doing, you know, couple shit. I wasn't gonna be like, "Hey, thanks for coming to Vegas. I'm gonna go drive some fast cars."

    15. BBBill Burr40:59

        (laughs)

    16. JRJoe Rogan41:00

        "They have a CVS that's all lit up the Vegas style. You should check that out, honey." You know? Like, where the fuck would that get me?

18. 41:06 – 44:43

    Family Trip

    1. JRJoe Rogan41:06

       But, uh, that was a good trip for us too, by the way.

    2. BBBill Burr41:09

       A good family Vegas trip?

    3. JRJoe Rogan41:11

       Yeah, yeah, it's a good thing to do, uh, as a married person to just sort of like... My mother-in-law watched our kid and we came out there and it's fu- it's hilarious.

    4. BBBill Burr41:20

       That's nice, like dates, yeah.

    5. JRJoe Rogan41:21

       Yes, and we, uh, but we immediately go right back to like the... We, me and my wife have like ridiculous chemistry, laughing like just totally on the same wavelength and it just fucking resets. And I'm, I'm learning now like you gotta... Just with the day-to-day and dealing, you know, my job-

    6. BBBill Burr41:36

       Do you guys do date nights? Do you do a lot of date nights?

    7. JRJoe Rogan41:38

       Yeah, probably not enough. It's like everything. Do you work out? Yeah, not enough.

    8. BBBill Burr41:42

       Yeah.

    9. JRJoe Rogan41:42

       Do you eat well? Yeah, not enough. And then your relationship becomes like the same way. And I've, uh, I've finally gotten out of my stupid fucking, you know, die on every hill, fucking argue everything, you know. I'm getting out of that and I'm starting to understand, you know, how to, uh, how to do it.

    10. BBBill Burr42:03

        That you're not in competition with your wife, that's what you gotta understand.

    11. JRJoe Rogan42:06

        Yeah.

    12. BBBill Burr42:07

        Yeah.

    13. JRJoe Rogan42:08

        But then there's also that she's also human, so everything she says isn't right. (laughs)

    14. BBBill Burr42:13

        (laughs)

    15. JRJoe Rogan42:13

        So you just have to pick.

    16. BBBill Burr42:15

        (sighs) Yeah.

    17. JRJoe Rogan42:16

        You gotta pick, uh, 'cause I'm not gonna be that guy where it's just, "Oh, happy wife, happy life."

    18. BBBill Burr42:21

        Oh, those guys are done.

    19. JRJoe Rogan42:23

        I watch whatever TV she wants to watch. Uh, I'm envious of them-

    20. BBBill Burr42:27

        ... are you?

    21. JRJoe Rogan42:27

        Those, 'cause they have the smoothest fucking life, never lose their house-

    22. BBBill Burr42:32

        (laughs)

    23. JRJoe Rogan42:32

        ... I mean, they're just like this, they're like a fucking, uh, you know those big doorman buildings where, "I got a package for you, Mr. Wroten?"

    24. BBBill Burr42:39

        (laughs)

    25. JRJoe Rogan42:40

        Like, you become that in the relationship. You should just ha- wear, like, the bell cap and something like that-

    26. BBBill Burr42:45

        (laughs)

    27. JRJoe Rogan42:45

        ... uh, (laughs) you know what I mean?

    28. BBBill Burr42:48

        Yes.

    29. JRJoe Rogan42:48

        Those lifer doormen.

    30. BBBill Burr42:49

        Yeah, yeah.
19. 44:43 – 45:55

    Thailand

    1. BBBill Burr44:43

       them places, and, like, we'll go on vacations together and hang out with them all day long, 24 hours a day, multiple days in a row. Like we, every summer we go to somewhere in Europe or somewhere. We went to Thailand last year.

    2. JRJoe Rogan44:54

       Wow.

    3. BBBill Burr44:54

       Thailand and I- we did two-

    4. JRJoe Rogan44:56

       I'm too intimidated to go there.

    5. BBBill Burr44:57

       Thailand?

    6. JRJoe Rogan44:58

       Yeah.

    7. BBBill Burr44:58

       Oh, it's amazing. Those people are so nice.

    8. JRJoe Rogan45:01

       They are?

    9. BBBill Burr45:01

       So nice.

    10. JRJoe Rogan45:02

        Really?

    11. BBBill Burr45:02

        It's hot as fuck and they got weird bugs. And, uh, my little one got l- lit up by bugs, man. Like, she, she had a b- allergic reaction to something that bit her, and her whole hand was swollen. It was a real freakout moment.

    12. JRJoe Rogan45:13

        Yeah.

    13. BBBill Burr45:13

        Like, "Fuck, we're in Thailand and something's medically going wrong here."

    14. JRJoe Rogan45:18

        Wow.

    15. BBBill Burr45:19

        But it's also weird, too. It's like (clears throat) their culture's very odd.

    16. JRJoe Rogan45:21

        Assuming that had a happy ending.

    17. BBBill Burr45:23

        Yeah, yeah, it did.

    18. JRJoe Rogan45:23

        Let's say.

    19. BBBill Burr45:24

        Yeah, we just-

    20. JRJoe Rogan45:24

        'Cause you kinda-

    21. BBBill Burr45:24

        We were at a resort, luckily-

    22. JRJoe Rogan45:25

        Built me up to the apex of emotion.

    23. BBBill Burr45:27

        (laughs)

    24. JRJoe Rogan45:28

        "Hey, I go- uh, get-"

    25. BBBill Burr45:29

        Yeah, so-

    26. JRJoe Rogan45:30

        ... "get some toothpaste the other day."

    27. BBBill Burr45:31

        No, we, we, we got some medicine and they applied a topical medicine to it, and it actually went down within, you know ... By the next day it was okay. But it was a, it was an issue.

    28. JRJoe Rogan45:39

        Yeah.

    29. BBBill Burr45:39

        There's a-

    30. JRJoe Rogan45:40

        Scary, scary, those 24 hours.
20. 45:55 – 48:21

    Elephants

    1. BBBill Burr45:55

       They're weird. It's a weird little relationship you have with these animals. They're so gentle. Like, as long as they know that you are a kind person and you're, you're taking care of them, you wa-... 'Cause like the people that run this e- uh, they run an elephant rescue thing. It's really kinda cool.

    2. JRJoe Rogan46:09

       I don't know about that, Joe.

    3. BBBill Burr46:10

       That I'm a kind person? (laughs)

    4. JRJoe Rogan46:13

       No.

    5. BBBill Burr46:13

       As long as you-

    6. JRJoe Rogan46:13

       That an elephant is just like, "You know what? I don't really feel like yanking these logs up and down this fucking hill. I don't even understand why I'm doing this. Sh- this guy seems pretty cool."

    7. BBBill Burr46:21

       No, no, no. Not like that. You don't do anything with them other than feed them and you get to ride them. But like, and people are a little bummed out about riding them. And I'm like, "I don't really recommend riding them." Like, my family wanted to ride them and, you know, a lot of these people ride. But the b- the whole thing is a rescue thing. They take these animals that are in circuses and all these different sort of mistreated animals, and they take care of them and they let them live in a wild environment. They roam free.

    8. JRJoe Rogan46:46

       Yeah.

    9. BBBill Burr46:46

       They f- just feed them. So the elephants stay by, but they go, they go off on their own too, and then they come back. But they have these big piles of sugarcane, and so they're eating the sugarcane. They're eating ... They'll just stop while you, while you're walking with them, and they just rip a fucking tree out of its roots and start eating it.

    10. JRJoe Rogan47:01

        Wow.

    11. BBBill Burr47:01

        You realize how goddamn strong they are? They are fucking preposterously strong.

    12. JRJoe Rogan47:05

        I wish I, I wish that we viewed them more as, like, roommates-

    13. BBBill Burr47:10

        Yeah.

    14. JRJoe Rogan47:10

        ... than, like, ours.

    15. BBBill Burr47:12

        Right.

    16. JRJoe Rogan47:12

        So we, we divvied the planet up a little smarter.

    17. BBBill Burr47:15

        Yeah.

    18. JRJoe Rogan47:16

        Um, I gotta sh- I gotta shut my phone off, but I gotta show you ... I, I found this picture on, uh, Instagram of this tiger. And the fucking thing is, is, with, with like its legs back, it looks like it's doing dips-

    19. BBBill Burr47:28

        (laughs)

    20. JRJoe Rogan47:28

        ... and just the fucking muscles. It doesn't even look real. Like, like, like that thing exists on this planet and was just like, was just walking around free, that you could just bump into th- ... I understand, you know, like when people first came out here and they eradicated-

    21. BBBill Burr47:44

        Is that a panther?

    22. JRJoe Rogan47:45

        Uh, that's along the lines of it. I mean, look at that.

    23. BBBill Burr47:49

        Fuck. (laughs)

    24. JRJoe Rogan47:50

        How many pull-ups, Joe, do you need to do to fucking look like that?

    25. BBBill Burr47:54

        Fuck. Oh my God. Look at the fucking muscles on that thing.

    26. JRJoe Rogan47:58

        You must have seen that one ... Did you ever see that one where they were fucking with that tiger and that dude was on the, uh-

    27. BBBill Burr48:03

        On the elephant?

    28. JRJoe Rogan48:04

        ... on the elephant?

    29. BBBill Burr48:04

        Yeah.

    30. JRJoe Rogan48:04

        And this thing took off like Jordan in the dunking contest.
21. 48:21 – 50:33

    Tigers

    1. BBBill Burr48:21

       yeah, for sure. Yeah, I mean, there's a f- great video, recent video, like two weeks ago, of these guys on a motorcycle in India. And they're riding their motorcycles-

    2. JRJoe Rogan48:29

       Yes, I heard. (laughs)

    3. BBBill Burr48:29

       And the t- the tiger's chasing them, and the tiger almost gets them. It's full clip chasing them.

    4. JRJoe Rogan48:33

       I actually looked how fast they can run, and I'm surprised 'cause the guy was on like a scooter or something.

    5. BBBill Burr48:38

       ... they can go, like, 40 miles an hour I think, plus.

    6. JRJoe Rogan48:40

       I think what fucked him up was the surface that he started-

    7. BBBill Burr48:43

       Power. Power.

    8. JRJoe Rogan48:43

       ... running on. Right?

    9. BBBill Burr48:44

       Right, right, right.

    10. JRJoe Rogan48:44

        If he was more in his element, they get, like, you know, a dog in a kitchen gets a little fucking woke.

    11. BBBill Burr48:49

        (laughs)

    12. JRJoe Rogan48:49

        I think the tiger did that for a-

    13. BBBill Burr48:50

        They slide.

    14. JRJoe Rogan48:51

        ... yeah, for a little bit.

    15. BBBill Burr48:52

        Yeah. Yeah, on the concrete, right? Yeah.

    16. JRJoe Rogan48:53

        Yeah. Or maybe just the sound of the engine was just like, "That doesn't sound tasty."

    17. BBBill Burr48:57

        Well, it's one of the, where- rare places on Earth where tigers hunt people. There's, there's a history of them hunting people.

    18. JRJoe Rogan49:03

        They hunt or they come upon them and go, "I'll eat that."

    19. BBBill Burr49:05

        Oh, no, no, no. No. They hunt them. There's an area called the Sunderbans, and the Sunderbans tigers over the last 200 years have killed more than 300,000 people there. They actively hunt people.

    20. JRJoe Rogan49:16

        You know, believe it or not, it's a quick death.

    21. BBBill Burr49:19

        Oh, yeah.

    22. JRJoe Rogan49:20

        I already know what I would ever do if I ever came in contact with a tiger.

    23. BBBill Burr49:23

        Just do this?

    24. JRJoe Rogan49:24

        That's exactly what I would do.

    25. BBBill Burr49:25

        Give him the neck? (laughs)

    26. JRJoe Rogan49:28

        (laughs) . (bird tweeting) And make some defensive moves, like, or offensive moves, just to get him to go-

    27. BBBill Burr49:31

        Yeah.

    28. JRJoe Rogan49:31

        ... right towards it.

    29. BBBill Burr49:32

        Ugh. Yeah.

    30. JRJoe Rogan49:33

        It's just like the ol'... You UFC guys, you're all like, "I would rather get fucking choked out than knocked out." It's the same thing. You just go to sleep.
22. 50:33 – 51:56

    sloths

    1. BBBill Burr50:33

       people get confused and they don't understand. You, you're a moving thing and you don't move quick. And they're, they're all about eating moving things. If you're moving, they're trying to eat you. If you, if you're by yourself, they're gonna eat you.

    2. JRJoe Rogan50:46

       Well, it's amazing that wherever we started on this planet, that our brain was able to cover for the fact of how fucking slow we are.

    3. BBBill Burr50:58

       Mm-hmm.

    4. JRJoe Rogan50:58

       We're slower than squirrels, like, everything.

    5. BBBill Burr51:01

       Yeah.

    6. JRJoe Rogan51:01

       Everything is lightning fast out there.

    7. BBBill Burr51:03

       Except sloths.

    8. JRJoe Rogan51:05

       Sloths. I know, but they'll, they'll, like... And that, but that's their job.

    9. BBBill Burr51:09

       To get eaten.

    10. JRJoe Rogan51:10

        Yeah. They like-

    11. BBBill Burr51:10

        Seems like it.

    12. JRJoe Rogan51:11

        Yeah. They're like jalapeno poppers for fucking-

    13. BBBill Burr51:13

        (laughs)

    14. JRJoe Rogan51:14

        (laughs) You know that, you know that bullshit-

    15. BBBill Burr51:16

        No.

    16. JRJoe Rogan51:16

        ... that you just order? You're wanna go, say, "Ah, fuck it, let's get that, yeah, whatever."

    17. BBBill Burr51:18

        Let's have a sloth.

    18. JRJoe Rogan51:19

        Yeah.

    19. BBBill Burr51:20

        Yeah. This is-

    20. JRJoe Rogan51:21

        Before you go after the real thing you're trying to eat.

    21. BBBill Burr51:23

        One of my favorite videos was watching, uh, harpy eagles kill sloths. They swoop in and snatch them. They're like the largest-

    22. JRJoe Rogan51:30

        Yeah.

    23. BBBill Burr51:30

        ... eagles in South America. Huge fucking eagle.

    24. JRJoe Rogan51:31

        I did a zipline tour in, uh, in Costa Rica.

    25. BBBill Burr51:34

        I did that.

    26. JRJoe Rogan51:35

        Yeah, and the guy knew how to make the noise of the, this, this fucking, you know, ridiculous wing span bird that doesn't really exist in that area anymore, but they're, just in their DNA for them to freak out. He goes, "It's a three-toed sloth," and he imitated it. And the fucking thing just, just kinda looked around a little bit, pfft, and then left. (laughs)

    27. BBBill Burr51:52

        (laughs)

    28. JRJoe Rogan51:52

        It's like, dude, you just gave that thing a mini fucking heart attack.

    29. BBBill Burr51:55

        We did a zipline that was

23. 51:56 – 53:09

    rusted ladder

    1. BBBill Burr51:56

       one mile. You get on it, you, you zip across for one mi-... And as I'm sliding down this thing with my family, by the way, I'm thinking, "When was the last time they checked this? Who's checking this?"

    2. JRJoe Rogan52:05

       Oh, those are great thoughts to have.

    3. BBBill Burr52:06

       The, the fucking ladder was rusted and then lat- ratchet bolted, so they had, like, straps-

    4. JRJoe Rogan52:12

       Yeah.

    5. BBBill Burr52:12

       ... where they ratcheted where the ladder had rusted, and then they just grabbed a hold of the strap and, like, clamped down on it and ch- ch- ch- ch-... Tied it to the fucking tree-

    6. JRJoe Rogan52:20

       (laughs)

    7. BBBill Burr52:20

       ... and we're climbing up this. And it's like, "Oh, oh, watch out there, that part's rusted through." Like, "What? That's rusted through." And then you get to the top and they latch you up to this thing, and I'm telling you, you're above the rainforest and it's just (buzzing) .

    8. JRJoe Rogan52:32

       Yeah.

    9. BBBill Burr52:33

       And you go for, like, fucking 10 minutes, just (buzzing) .

    10. JRJoe Rogan52:35

        People don't understand how high those t-... We, we were just in the bullshit, we were just in the, the very tippity-top of... We were in Costa Rica, so we weren't, like, in the, the, the shit. And I just remember, like, the thing where we were doing, you know, the, uh, little, uh, I guess platform that you went up to was so fucking high off the ground and it was a third up the tree.

    11. BBBill Burr52:56

        Yeah.

    12. JRJoe Rogan52:56

        Like, when we were looking up at the three-toed sloth that was over there, it was like another 400 or 500 feet it seemed, up. It was ridiculous.

    13. BBBill Burr53:03

        Yeah.

    14. JRJoe Rogan53:03

        It was fucking ridiculous.

    15. BBBill Burr53:06

        Yeah.

    16. JRJoe Rogan53:07

        Nature, man.

    17. BBBill Burr53:08

        Nature, man.

24. 53:09 – 55:15

    bears

    1. BBBill Burr53:09

       There was a fucking great story recently of a guy. He's a musician and he was recording sounds of nature, and he fell asleep and a bear ate him. (laughs) So there's a recording of him getting eaten while he's recording sounds of nature.

    2. JRJoe Rogan53:25

       Oh. That, bears seem like it's a long death.

    3. BBBill Burr53:27

       Oh, yeah. They just eat you. They just hold you down like a salmon and start chewing chunks off of you.

    4. JRJoe Rogan53:32

       No.

    5. BBBill Burr53:32

       Oh, yeah, they do. Yeah, the, 'cause they're omnivores. Omnivores are the worst thing to get killed by. You're better off getting killed by a predator, 'cause predators generally just wanna kill you and kill you as quick as they can. But bears, first of all, they're of no predators other than other bears and humans with rifles. And if they're in a place where there's no humans with rifles, they're the top of the food chain. So they just put a paw down on you, so they hold you in place and just start chewing chunks of you, just eating chunks of you off.

    6. JRJoe Rogan54:01

       The video of the grizzly man?

    7. BBBill Burr54:02

       This is my special. (laughs)

    8. JRJoe Rogan54:04

       (laughs) .

    9. BBBill Burr54:04

       It's tonight at midnight on Netflix. The-

    10. JRJoe Rogan54:06

        You know, my brother called me up one time. Uh, I, I called him after he'd watched some video and it was one of those Komodo dragons. And it somehow grabbed, like, a deer-looking thing, whatever the fuck is in its world that's like that. And it f-... I'm sorry, people, but it snapped its fucking leg. And he said the thing was laying there and it couldn't move and it just started eating the thing's guts.

    11. BBBill Burr54:32

        Ugh.

    12. JRJoe Rogan54:32

        And the deer's sound of, "Aah, aah!"

    13. BBBill Burr54:35

        That's it. Yeah.

    14. JRJoe Rogan54:35

        "Don't! Shut that fucking thing off!"

    15. BBBill Burr54:38

        (laughs)

    16. JRJoe Rogan54:38

        I don't watch any of that. I don't watch execution videos. I don't want that on my hard drive.... I'm gonna bomb tonight watching that. How do you find it that quick? Jesus Christ, this guy's good.

    17. BBBill Burr54:47

        He's got them saved.

    18. JRJoe Rogan54:49

        (laughs)

    19. BBBill Burr54:49

        Yeah. There's a, a great one of a Komodo dragon eating a monkey. And, uh, it's got, like ... Lookit, it might be a baboon. It's a big-

    20. JRJoe Rogan54:58

        Baboons are no joke. I never knew, when they fucking yawn, you're like, "Oh, shit, that's like a tiger monkey."

    21. BBBill Burr55:03

        It's like a dog monkey. That's what it's like. It's like a wolf-

    22. JRJoe Rogan55:05

        They got those fang ... Yeah.

    23. BBBill Burr55:06

        Yeah. Crazy.

    24. JRJoe Rogan55:07

        Wolf. I've heard of a wolf.

    25. BBBill Burr55:07

        Yeah, like a wolf monkey. Yeah. They eat kids.

    26. JRJoe Rogan55:10

        Somebody's gotta have a new band name there.

    27. BBBill Burr55:12

        Wolf Monkey?

    28. JRJoe Rogan55:12

        Wolf Monkey. (laughs)

    29. BBBill Burr55:13

        (laughs) That's a good name for a band.

25. 55:15 – 58:41

    tiger

    1. JRJoe Rogan55:15

       Yeah. (laughs)

    2. BBBill Burr55:15

       (laughs) This is a great video of this Komodo dragon, he's got this monkey's feet and tail hanging out of his mouth. He's going ... (chewing noises) Just slowly choking this thing down, eating this entire monkey whole. (chewing noises) And the tail and the little, little feet are poking out and he's like ... (chewing noises) See if you can find that. Show it to Bill.

    3. JRJoe Rogan55:36

       No. I don't wanna ... I, I hon- ... I honestly don't wanna watch it.

    4. BBBill Burr55:38

       Just put it on that one so I can see it.

    5. JRJoe Rogan55:39

       I don't, I don't wanna see it.

    6. BBBill Burr55:40

       Can you put it on one TV? (laughs)

    7. JRJoe Rogan55:41

       Can you do that while I talk about my new special coming out?

    8. BBBill Burr55:44

       (laughs)

    9. JRJoe Rogan55:44

       Paper Tiger. (laughs)

    10. BBBill Burr55:45

        Speaking of animals, why'd you call it a ... Why Paper Tiger?

    11. JRJoe Rogan55:50

        Uh, 'cause I just think we're in a hilarious time. 'Cause you already took Strange Times. I have to stop saying ... Like, I, I ... Like, the amount of times I had to stop saying, "It's, it's a weird time," because it's ... That's the name of Joe's special. Because it just is. Like, what we're focusing on ... Like, oh my God, can you fucking believe this wild ... This real ... Like, half the shit that's going on, if, if, if it's true, is like, you could make a Will Smith or a To- Tom Cruise movie on those end of the world movies where they-

    12. BBBill Burr56:19

        Yeah.

    13. JRJoe Rogan56:19

        ... except, you know, it's not gonna have a happy ending. And it's just like ... It just kinda strikes me ... I don't know. And it was also ... I just ... I wanted people to watch it and have fun. Like, I'm not trying to fucking hurt anybody. It's not malicious.

    14. BBBill Burr56:35

        Yeah.

    15. JRJoe Rogan56:35

        But I- I'm doing my job. I'm talking about what's in the news and I'm fucking around, and it's part that, and then the other part is just me talking about my flaws, my temper and trying to work that shit out. That's all this fucking thing is, and for some reason, um ... Not just saying stand up, just a lot of shit that is not ... As far as like if you had priorities. You know? Like, if your house just burnt down, you're not being like, "God, we, we have to get a new toaster." You know? It's like, no, we need shelter. Like, that's-

    16. BBBill Burr57:04

        Right.

    17. JRJoe Rogan57:04

        ... the number one thing, but there's all this shit that's like, you know, a li- a line of importance like line 42 is, is getting gassed up to like s- number seven or number eight or something like that. And I already know people are gonna be like, you know, "Typical white male, 'cause you can't ..." Like, all of that shit, you know. Th- th- there's just something funny about how overtly, uh ... I don't know. I guess, um, reversed, like ... It's like you're doing the same fucking thing and you don't even realize you're doing it. As you're saying, like a lot ... Some groups of people, not all of them. Like I've been joking how like a lot of feminists are like smart, but it's not the ones that are on TV. It's like sports fans. A lot of sports fans are really smart, but not the ones that call in sports talk radio.

    18. BBBill Burr57:52

        (laughs) That's perfect.

    19. JRJoe Rogan57:54

        You know what I mean?

    20. BBBill Burr57:54

        Yes.

    21. JRJoe Rogan57:55

        It, it's like when we, when we would do the Opie and Anthony Show.

    22. BBBill Burr57:57

        Mm-hmm.

    23. JRJoe Rogan57:58

        Okay? Or like Howard Stern, like when he would do ... Back in the day when he would do live remotes. I love Howard Stern. I love Opie and Anthony, but like if I was a fan of this show, I don't have time and I'm not going to some fucking mall-

    24. BBBill Burr58:11

        (laughs)

    25. JRJoe Rogan58:13

        ... (laughs) in the middle of the day blowing off work or whatever the f- ... 'Cause I'm trying to get my own shit going. The people that show up, you love them because they're diehards, but they're out of their fucking minds. So, um, it just has to do with that. I'm kinda ... Um ... It doesn't necessarily have to do with me, but it does. It's one of, one of those things. And it's also another way of saying that I'm full of shit. And, you know-

    26. BBBill Burr58:37

        Yeah. You're a paper tiger.

    27. JRJoe Rogan58:38

        Yeah. Exactly.

    28. BBBill Burr58:39

        Yeah.

    29. JRJoe Rogan58:39

        Exactly. So.

26. 58:41 – 1:06:14

    Opie and Anthony

    1. JRJoe Rogan58:41

    2. BBBill Burr58:41

       The Opie and Anthony days, you remember when they used to have, uh, stadium seating, like small stadium seating in the studio? And guys would come in the st- ... They would let fans come in the studio-

    3. JRJoe Rogan58:49

       Yeah.

    4. BBBill Burr58:49

       ... and sit and watch the show? Those are the good old days.

    5. JRJoe Rogan58:52

       Yep. I st- I ... Every time I go to New York, I, I ... There's like ... It's like a void. Uh, somebody said it perfectly-

    6. BBBill Burr58:59

       Yeah.

    7. JRJoe Rogan58:59

       ... like, you know Phantom Limb, you know?

    8. BBBill Burr59:01

       Yeah.

    9. JRJoe Rogan59:01

       That's what it feels like, and it ... You get ex- ... "Oh, I'm in New York and I'm gonna ..." (groans)

    10. BBBill Burr59:05

        Doesn't exist. That was the last show that I used to get up early for. Oona and ... When they were together, before Anthony got kicked out, and-

    11. JRJoe Rogan59:13

        Yeah.

    12. BBBill Burr59:13

        ... when Opie and Jimmy and Anthony were all together. It was amazing. That was-

    13. JRJoe Rogan59:18

        That was like seeing a band with all the original members on the first-

    14. BBBill Burr59:22

        Yes.

    15. JRJoe Rogan59:22

        ... fucking couple of albums toured.

    16. BBBill Burr59:24

        Yeah.

    17. JRJoe Rogan59:24

        Before David Lee goes solo and then, you know-

    18. BBBill Burr59:27

        Well, they were the first guys to get-

    19. JRJoe Rogan59:29

        It becomes a different thing.

    20. BBBill Burr59:29

        ... ported over to XM too, right?

    21. JRJoe Rogan59:31

        Mm-hmm.

    22. BBBill Burr59:31

        They were the first ... Or I think they were ... Were they before Howard or around the same time? But they were, they were the first-

    23. JRJoe Rogan59:39

        Yeah. Was that the sa- ... I think my name is ... They were on X- ... That was the one that was XM and then Sirius.

    24. BBBill Burr59:43

        Mm-hmm. Yeah. I think like Howard was on Sirius, they were on XM, and then they merged.

    25. JRJoe Rogan59:47

        Yeah.

    26. BBBill Burr59:47

        Yeah. But they were the first show, the first radio show, that let you just fuck around. Like, Howard is amazing, right? Greatest radio personality of all time by far. But Howard controlled the show. He had you on. He had the board in front of him. He controlled the board. He asked you questions. He had an agenda. And, you know, he was trying to make the show as entertaining as possible and then he got rid of you.

    27. JRJoe Rogan1:00:10

        Yeah.

    28. BBBill Burr1:00:11

        O and A, he just fucking ... "Come on in, guys. Come on in, Patrice. Come on in, Bill, Ari Shaffir-

    29. JRJoe Rogan1:00:15

        Yeah.

    30. BBBill Burr1:00:15

        ... have a seat." And everybody ... You'd be in the room. Ricky Gervais. 10 fucking people in the room. Norton, ev- ev- Norton would be doing-

Episode duration: 2:25:50