Joe Rogan Experience #1354 - The Black Keys

Joe Rogan 0:01 Boom, and we're, we're moving. We're moving, gentlemen.

Dan Auerbach 0:04 All right. Well, we're moving.

Patrick Carney 0:05 Good to see you.

Joe Rogan 0:06 Thanks for being here.

Dan Auerbach 0:07 Thanks for having us.

Joe Rogan 0:07 I'm a gigantic fan.

Dan Auerbach 0:09 We're fans of yours.

Joe Rogan 0:09 You already know that, but, uh, now I get to tell you in person.

Dan Auerbach 0:12 Uh, I'm a big fan of yours, man.

Joe Rogan 0:13 Well, thanks.

Dan Auerbach 0:14 You've become my... We were just saying on the way here, you've become my, uh, my late night television. I don't watch... I don't watch, like, uh, you know, Jimmy Fallon or anything. I put on your podcast on YouTube and just watch it.

Patrick Carney 0:29 Just blew his fucking mind. Look at him. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 0:30 Thank you.

Dan Auerbach 0:31 But you're also like my Op-

Patrick Carney 0:32 Glad, glad you like it.

Dan Auerbach 0:32 You're also like my Oprah.

Patrick Carney 0:33 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 0:33 And I was thinking, like, you need a whole cast. You need, like, a Gayle King and a-

Joe Rogan 0:38 I do.

Dan Auerbach 0:38 I'm willing to be your Dr. Phil.

Joe Rogan 0:40 Ooh.

Dan Auerbach 0:40 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 0:41 I need a science advisor.

Dan Auerbach 0:42 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 0:42 I definitely need a real on, on-staff scientist to check things.

Dan Auerbach 0:46 Like Dr., uh, Oz?

Joe Rogan 0:48 No, he's not real.

Dan Auerbach 0:49 And that's what I'm saying, you n- you need the-

Joe Rogan 0:51 No, I need a real one.

Dan Auerbach 0:52 (laughs) Okay.

Joe Rogan 0:53 Like, Dr. Oz, he's... He got in trouble for selling horse shit, right? Didn't he get brought in front of Congress for-

Dan Auerbach 0:57 Oh, I- I assumed all these people were kind of unqualified for their...

Joe Rogan 1:00 "Well, Dr. Phil's actually a really good guy."

Dan Auerbach 1:03 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:03 He's actually a real good guy.

Patrick Carney 1:04 I like one of those, uh, TV judge bailiff, um, cops that stands in front of the judge. Just got arrested for murder.

Joe Rogan 1:12 No!

Patrick Carney 1:13 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:13 Really?

Patrick Carney 1:14 Yeah.

Dan Auerbach 1:15 Dude, that's my favorite of all the kind of reality shows is, like, the Judge Judy bailiff character.

Patrick Carney 1:21 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:22 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 1:22 Like, the guy's like, "That's right, Judge."

Patrick Carney 1:24 (laughs) "That's right, Judge."

Joe Rogan 1:25 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 1:26 You have-

Patrick Carney 1:27 It's amazing.

Joe Rogan 1:27 Do you think he's, like, a DEA agent that eventually wants to try coke?

Dan Auerbach 1:31 (laughs) What, the bailiff?

Joe Rogan 1:32 Yeah, like, he's just around s- I mean, he's probably a real bailiff, right? So he's probably around so many goddamn criminals.

Dan Auerbach 1:37 Man, I don't think that they're real bailiffs. I don't-

Joe Rogan 1:39 I think-

Dan Auerbach 1:39 I haven't, I haven't got that.

Joe Rogan 1:40 He's a fake bailiff?

Dan Auerbach 1:41 I just assumed. It's, it's Hollywood, man. I don't know.

Joe Rogan 1:43 Hmm. True. But why would he just-

Patrick Carney 1:45 It's... He looked like the same outfit from Night Court.

Joe Rogan 1:47 It's not a complicated gig. You could just hire an actual cop, and that way you're doubly protected. You have a real cop that's standing there.

Dan Auerbach 1:55 Yeah, really doing it.

Joe Rogan 1:55 Yeah, really doing it. And then I'm sure they can do that gig. Just find a guy who's nice.

Dan Auerbach 2:00 That's a... I think that's a much higher paying gig than a cop.

Patrick Carney 2:03 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 2:03 Yeah, so-

Dan Auerbach 2:04 And, and with, you know, with-

Joe Rogan 2:05 Give a cop a break. (laughs)

Patrick Carney 2:06 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 2:07 Well, with that type of money comes corruption and, you know...

Joe Rogan 2:11 That's true. That's right. That's where it gets ugly. All the other cops get mad at him. They set him up.

Dan Auerbach 2:16 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 2:16 Yeah.

Dan Auerbach 2:16 They plant, plant a gun on him. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 2:18 Plant some drugs.

Dan Auerbach 2:19 Maybe that's what happened to this dude.

Joe Rogan 2:21 Put some message on his phone.

Patrick Carney 2:21 (laughs) This is what you're talking about.

Dan Auerbach 2:22 That's what this guy is talking about.

Patrick Carney 2:22 Setup.

Joe Rogan 2:22 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 2:23 This dude got set up.

Joe Rogan 2:24 Could've got set up.

Patrick Carney 2:24 All the cop's like, "This motherfucker got a 150 grand a year job. Put the fucking gun on him."

Joe Rogan 2:30 (laughs)

Patrick Carney 2:30 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 2:30 Have you guys been paying attention to OJ on Twitter?

Patrick Carney 2:33 No.

Dan Auerbach 2:34 I mean, I-

Patrick Carney 2:34 What's he doing?

Joe Rogan 2:35 It's one of the strangest things ever. He's just talking on Twitter, just talking about, like, football and politics. And the f- the comments are just the most ridiculous shit, everything you would expect. I'm sure he can't read them.

Patrick Carney 2:47 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 2:47 The comments are just filled with just s- murder jokes.

Dan Auerbach 2:51 Yeah.

Patrick Carney 2:52 Really? Oh, wait.

Joe Rogan 2:52 Yeah.

Patrick Carney 2:52 No, not his comments.

Dan Auerbach 2:54 But, you know-

Joe Rogan 2:54 His comments. Like, under his, like, his, his thing.

Patrick Carney 2:56 Right, his com-

Joe Rogan 2:57 He has this thing that under his-

Dan Auerbach 2:58 Does this all get-

Joe Rogan 2:58 ... all the people that comment on his post, it's all just murder jokes.

Patrick Carney 3:01 As long as he's not making murder jokes, I guess.

Joe Rogan 3:03 No.

Dan Auerbach 3:04 My friend has the largest OJ Simpson T-shirt collection of, like, the "Free OJ, Juice is Loose" in the, in the world. And he had an exhibit here in LA a couple, a year ago at a museum.

Joe Rogan 3:16 Yes.

Dan Auerbach 3:16 Like, 150 shirts. Pretty, pretty amazing. But you know who I like to follow on Twitter? Which I, I... We were talking about it earlier, I don't really look at Twitter that much, but I do like Jose Canseco a lot on Twitter.

Joe Rogan 3:27 Do you?

Dan Auerbach 3:28 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 3:28 What does he talk about?

Patrick Carney 3:29 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 3:29 It's just, like, crazy. It's just extra crazy.

Patrick Carney 3:31 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 3:31 And he, he was offering, like, uh, for $2,000 you could go, like, spend the night in a k- in a tent with him.

Patrick Carney 3:37 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 3:37 And, like, look for Bigfoot. (laughs)

Patrick Carney 3:39 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 3:39 What? Oh my God.

Dan Auerbach 3:41 Yeah.

Patrick Carney 3:43 (sighs)

Dan Auerbach 3:43 It started with him when he shot his finger off and then it fell off, you know, he was tweeting about that. That, that's what piqued my interest.

Joe Rogan 3:49 When I was 19 years old, I worked at a place called the Boston Athletic Club, and Jose Canseco and some other baseball players walked in. It's am- amazing how big he was.

Dan Auerbach 3:58 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 3:58 He was huge. Like, a huge person.

Patrick Carney 4:00 Huge.

Joe Rogan 4:01 Like, a just gigantic man. And also handsome.

Patrick Carney 4:04 Looked like a pro- professional wrestler.

Joe Rogan 4:06 Looked like a fake person.

Patrick Carney 4:07 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 4:07 L- really didn't even look like a real person, just a giant, handsome super athlete. Came in to lift weights. I'm like, "Huh, how fucking weird."

Patrick Carney 4:14 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 4:14 Okay.

Joe Rogan 4:14 You know? Like... (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 4:15 He's one of- he's one of only four people, I think, that has 40 home runs and 40 steals-

Joe Rogan 4:20 Jeez.

Dan Auerbach 4:20 ... in a season. I mean, he was on steroids, I, I think.

Joe Rogan 4:23 Oh, he's looking for Bigfoot. He really is. He said, "I am a Bigfoot expert, and the most famous Bigfoot picture or video ever taken was a costume. The individual wearing the costume was none other than Andre the Giant. Check it out." I don't think that's true.

Patrick Carney 4:37 Oh.

Joe Rogan 4:37 I think that's pre-Andre the Giant's career. In fact, that picture was from the '60s.

Dan Auerbach 4:42 Well-

Joe Rogan 4:42 That's the Patterson-Gimlin footage.

Dan Auerbach 4:44 Well, Andre J- the Giant was alive then.

Patrick Carney 4:46 Well, I mean, are you saying Jose Canseco doesn't know what he's talking about?

Joe Rogan 4:48 I'm so...

Dan Auerbach 4:49 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 4:49 I'm gonna go out on a limb. He's incorrect here.

Dan Auerbach 4:52 Have you seen what A- Andre the Giant could drink in an average night?

Joe Rogan 4:55 Oh, yeah.

Dan Auerbach 4:56 It's incredible.

Joe Rogan 4:57 Yeah, we had Jake the Snake on. Jake the Snake used to drive him, and he had amazing stories-

Dan Auerbach 5:01 Oh my god.

Joe Rogan 5:01 ... about driving Andre around and how fucked up-

Patrick Carney 5:03 Jake the Snake was your designated driver. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 5:05 Yeah.

Dan Auerbach 5:05 He would drink, like, 24-

Patrick Carney 5:06 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 5:06 ... literally 24 beers in, like, a half hour.

Joe Rogan 5:08 Oh, the way his hands were so enormous that the beer, they didn't even look real.

Dan Auerbach 5:14 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 5:14 They looked like minibar beers, you know? His hand just covers everything.

Dan Auerbach 5:19 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 5:19 He was so huge. But when I saw a guy like H- Jose Canseco, I'm like, "Well, there's no fairness in this world."

Patrick Carney 5:25 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 5:25 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 5:25 There's no fairness. How are me and that guy the same species?

Dan Auerbach 5:29 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 5:29 There's just no fairness in this world.

Dan Auerbach 5:31 Well, good.

Joe Rogan 5:32 Interesting.

Patrick Carney 5:33 You learned early.

Joe Rogan 5:34 Yeah, it's a good lesson to learn.

Patrick Carney 5:35 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 5:36 It's a, a good lesson.

Dan Auerbach 5:37 Yeah, it's like the-

Patrick Carney 5:38 It's the first time you really get dunked on pretty hard. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 5:40 Yeah.

Dan Auerbach 5:40 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 5:40 And you just know that can happen to you too, bitch.

Patrick Carney 5:43 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 5:44 You know, I think it's important to kind of be reminded of, like, your position in society, in the world. I-

Joe Rogan 5:48 Yeah.

Dan Auerbach 5:48 When I was, when I was 10 or 11, I was listening to the... I was getting driven home from a Little League game by my dad, who's one of the sweetest guys ever, right? And we're listening to the Indians game, and, uh, this new, this new shortstop, who at the time was terrible, named Jay Bell, like...... dropped the ball. And I was like, "Dad, I bet you I'm a better shortstop than Jay Bell." And my dad stopped the car.

Patrick Carney 6:09 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 6:09 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 6:11 He was like, "Patrick, I love you so much, but you're 11 and there's no possible way that you're better-"

Patrick Carney 6:16 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 6:16 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 6:16 "There's only, like, 50 professional shortstops and there's, there's no way." And then that's it.

Patrick Carney 6:22 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 6:22 I just was like, "Oh my God." But I realized at that moment, I was like-

Patrick Carney 6:25 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 6:25 ... "Man, my, my dad's never gonna bullshit me. That's kind of cool."

Patrick Carney 6:28 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 6:28 That's very cool.

Dan Auerbach 6:29 Yeah.

Patrick Carney 6:30 That's very cool. Yeah, you don't need to be bullshitted.

Joe Rogan 6:32 He pulls-

Dan Auerbach 6:33 That's the problem with-

Joe Rogan 6:34 ... the bull shit. (laughs)

Patrick Carney 6:34 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 6:34 There's a problem with a lot of kids today is that they've been bullshitted their whole lives. They're like, "Oh yeah, you're the best."

Joe Rogan 6:38 "You're the best, son. You are better than him."

Dan Auerbach 6:41 Like, "Eh..."

Joe Rogan 6:41 "You just need to go and take that job."

Dan Auerbach 6:43 (laughs) Yeah.

Joe Rogan 6:43 "It's yours." Well, there's a lot of wacky people too that are living through their kids. You know, they're, they're like-

Dan Auerbach 6:48 Oh.

Joe Rogan 6:49 ... all their expectations of success have now been turned on their progeny.

Dan Auerbach 6:52 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 6:53 You know, they have this thing, they just want their kids to kick ass.

Dan Auerbach 6:55 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 6:56 Go out there and fucking kick ass.

Dan Auerbach 6:57 (laughs) Oh my God.

Joe Rogan 6:58 You know? It's like, "Ooh, slow down." (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 7:02 Yeah. (laughs)

Patrick Carney 7:03 It's hard. Fine line.

Joe Rogan 7:05 Yeah. How do we get on, oh, Jose Canseco's Twitter. It's crazy, huh?

Dan Auerbach 7:09 It's crazy.

Joe Rogan 7:10 It's a wild dude.

Dan Auerbach 7:12 Wild man. I mean, it's cool that a guy that... I mean, his, his life story's incredible. Have you, you ever had him on, I'm guessing, then?

Joe Rogan 7:18 No.

Dan Auerbach 7:19 You should have him on.

Patrick Carney 7:19 Oh my God, that would be great. Bash Brothers.

Dan Auerbach 7:23 Yeah.

Patrick Carney 7:23 Have him just tell exclusively Bash Brothers stories.

Joe Rogan 7:27 People are always gonna be mad at him forever because of the steroids thing.

Dan Auerbach 7:30 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 7:30 Right? Because he told on those other guys that were doing it.

Patrick Carney 7:32 Well, his oth- his other Bash Brother was found out, right? Mark McGwire.

Joe Rogan 7:37 Mm-hmm.

Dan Auerbach 7:39 I don't know, man. I, I, I, I don't know much about the, the, the... I mean, I know the difference between doping and steroids or whatever.

Joe Rogan 7:47 Mm-hmm.

Dan Auerbach 7:47 But I kinda feel like if you're... I don't know about steroids necessarily, but if you're, if you're riding a bike across France and, like... I don't know, I just, like, feel like you should dope a little bit.

Patrick Carney 7:59 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 8:00 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 8:00 I'm not doing it. Someone needs to do it.

Joe Rogan 8:02 Well, doctors have actually said it's probably physically safer to take the steroids if you're gonna do something like Tour de France, 'cause it's so insanely grueling on your body that you wanna be able to recover.

Dan Auerbach 8:13 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 8:14 But we have this weird thing, it's like there's a thing that makes your body work better but you're not supposed to take it. If you take it, we get mad at you. But we want you to do good, we want you to do your best, but we don't want you to take this thing. You could drink yourself to death.

Dan Auerbach 8:26 Oh yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 8:26 We're never gonna stop that. But we don't want you taking steroids because then you'd be too big and you'd hit too many balls. Like, du- what? What? How come he can't, how come he can't do whatever the fuck he wants?

Patrick Carney 8:35 It's either everybody, it's either everybody or nobody.

Joe Rogan 8:36 Yeah. It's the cheating thing. The thing is it, it affects kids. That's where it gets dangerous is 'cause you, if you find out, oh my God, these guys just openly do steroids and they tell you what they do...

Patrick Carney 8:47 Yeah, then middle schoolers will be doing it.

Joe Rogan 8:49 Yes.

Patrick Carney 8:50 They, some do.

Joe Rogan 8:50 That's a real, that's the real fear, the real fear.

Patrick Carney 8:52 It's a, and because that's, that, that would happen.

Joe Rogan 8:55 Yeah.

Patrick Carney 8:55 Because there's middle schoolers that are professionally, like, competitive-

Joe Rogan 8:58 Sure, kids-

Patrick Carney 8:58 ... all over this country.

Joe Rogan 9:00 Kids in high school do steroids.

Patrick Carney 9:01 Yeah, you know.

Dan Auerbach 9:01 I mean, like, I mean, also, you do s- you do a bunch... I know somebody that did a bunch of steroids and he was describing to me the process of... That he, he literally was doing it, wanted to bi- get big, you know. And, uh, I was like, "So what do you do, what do you do when you're big?" He's like, "Well, you gotta start taking these estrogen blockers and-"

Joe Rogan 9:19 Yikes.

Dan Auerbach 9:20 ... all this stuff." I was like, "What the fuck?" He's like, "Yeah, if you don't, if you don't take, your body stops making testosterone." And I was like, "What the fuck?" I was like, well that's, I mean, like, this is probably a controversial statement, but I was like, "Well, Bruce Jenner's said that he, like, um, like, did steroids for breakfast." I mean, did that, do you think that, like, depleted his testosterone production?

Joe Rogan 9:42 Um, they don't, I don't, I don't think they believe that there's a connection between gender identity and testosterone levels. I think they think it's a wiring issue, for lack of a better term. But there is always a thing that happens to people if you take steroids, that your body has this inability to make its natural hormones and so you get depressed.

Dan Auerbach 10:04 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 10:05 It's like a depression time, and it can be really funky for a lot of athletes.

Dan Auerbach 10:08 Is that where, like, Jose Canseco's out there looking for Bigfoot?

Patrick Carney 10:11 Could be.

Dan Auerbach 10:11 Is it, is it 'cause he just needs to clear his head?

Joe Rogan 10:14 (laughs) Could be. He also had some MMA fights. He might've got his brains knocked loose. Like, he, uh, he had one MMA fight against this fucking big giant dude. What was his name?

Patrick Carney 10:25 Yeah, that was early, early MMA.

Joe Rogan 10:26 No, it was, it was after his whole career thing had gone. He, he got a, he had a fight with, uh, was it Hong Man Choi? It was Hong Man Choi. Hong Man Choi is huge, so him just to accept this fight is crazy.

Dan Auerbach 10:40 Let me see what that looks like.

Joe Rogan 10:40 We're talking about a guy that's, like... Yeah, Hong Man Choi is, like, literally seven feet tall.

Patrick Carney 10:45 Oh, right, right.

Joe Rogan 10:46 And Jose Canseco's, Jose Canseco's an enormous guy, but-

Patrick Carney 10:48 I recognize him from movies, I think.

Joe Rogan 10:49 ... he's not enormous compared to Hong Man Choi, and Hong Man Choi-

Dan Auerbach 10:52 Geez Louise.

Joe Rogan 10:53 ... was a professional MMA fighter. He fought some really, really tough guys in Japan, so it was a total, complete mismatch, but he needed the-

Dan Auerbach 11:03 Whoa.

Joe Rogan 11:03 He needed the cheddar, so he stepped in.

Patrick Carney 11:05 (laughs) You know what that looks like?

Joe Rogan 11:05 Look at the size of Choi, bro.

Dan Auerbach 11:06 That looks like when you have, like, a real G.I. Joe guy and then, like, the generic G.I. Joe guy.

Patrick Carney 11:11 It looks like he fucking found Bigfoot.

Joe Rogan 11:13 And even though, like, Canseco is still a fucking gorilla. I mean, he's a stout man. A super powerful, gigantic man. But that just shows you how big Hong Man Choi is.

Patrick Carney 11:24 Did he get-

Joe Rogan 11:25 He got pummeled.

Patrick Carney 11:26 He got pummeled.

Joe Rogan 11:26 Yeah. I think he blew his knee out, if I, if I remember correctly.

Dan Auerbach 11:29 Shit. Oh my God.

Joe Rogan 11:29 I think he threw a kick and he blew his knee out, and then Hong Man Choi-

Patrick Carney 11:32 He fought Danny-

Joe Rogan 11:33 ... pounded him into oblivion.

Patrick Carney 11:34 Danny Bonaduce too?

Joe Rogan 11:36 Yeah, it was, it just... Oh no, did he really?

Patrick Carney 11:38 I just saw a picture of them standing together in the ring.

Joe Rogan 11:40 Oh my God, he's so much bigger than Danny Bonaduce. He's, he's a really huge guy.

Patrick Carney 11:45 Right there. That there?

Dan Auerbach 11:47 Right here? Yeah.

Joe Rogan 11:48 Oh my God, he did. Danny Bonaduce's crazy. Jesus. Um-

Dan Auerbach 11:52 Well, well his head looks like it's been photoshopped on.

Joe Rogan 11:55 But wait a minute, wasn't that Canseco's brother?... wasn't that his brother posing as him?

Patrick Carney 11:59 He's super tatted up. Oh my God. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 12:00 No, no, he's not though.

Patrick Carney 12:01 I know who this guy is, though.

Dan Auerbach 12:03 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 12:03 He's-

Patrick Carney 12:03 He posed as him?

Joe Rogan 12:03 Yeah, but I mean, no, he's not even. It's one of those, that's one of those, uh, sh- shirts-

Patrick Carney 12:08 Oh, jacket thing.

Joe Rogan 12:08 ... that you put on. It's like a rash guard, but it's got tattoos on it.

Dan Auerbach 12:11 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 12:12 And it looks like you're tattooed up.

Dan Auerbach 12:14 I wish our brothers would start posing as us.

Patrick Carney 12:16 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 12:16 I don't think that that was Canseco, I think it was Canseco's brother. I think it was-

Dan Auerbach 12:21 They c-

Joe Rogan 12:21 ... found out later.

Dan Auerbach 12:22 Is it like how Gallagher has-

Joe Rogan 12:23 Yes. (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 12:23 ... Gallagher's brother? (laughs)

Patrick Carney 12:25 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 12:25 Yes, it's Gallagher. We were talking about that Gallagher too.

Dan Auerbach 12:27 (coughs)

Joe Rogan 12:27 Look at that guy, that's not Canseco.

Patrick Carney 12:29 They don't even mention his ... His name isn't mentioned in the article, so-

Dan Auerbach 12:31 Oh, it's like Danny Ayeo. (laughs)

Patrick Carney 12:34 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 12:34 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 12:35 I mean, he's still a big giant dude too. I mean, he's very similar.

Dan Auerbach 12:37 Like the only way this story, the only way this story could get published is with that resolution of photo.

Patrick Carney 12:41 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 12:42 Like eight bi- eight-

Joe Rogan 12:43 Yeah.

Dan Auerbach 12:43 ... pixels.

Patrick Carney 12:44 (laughs) But, uh-

Dan Auerbach 12:47 Dude, isn't that crazy? You, uh, y- I don't know if you look at Facebook or if you have it, but I do have it. I keep up with my high school friends and my parents' friends and stuff. And the amount of stuff I see retweeted or, or re-posted on f- from the left and the right is just so crazy, man. These weird fake websites with the most outrageous ... And they'll, you could tell if, like you know most people know it's fake, 'cause there's only one like, and everyone's just afraid to acknowledge to the per- Like your uncle-

Joe Rogan 13:13 Yeah.

Dan Auerbach 13:13 ... like, "Man, that," (laughs)

Joe Rogan 13:14 "What is that?"

Dan Auerbach 13:15 (laughs) "That's not really Jose Canseco, man."

Joe Rogan 13:19 Well, how about those, "You won't believe what she looks like now-"

Dan Auerbach 13:23 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 13:23 ... websites?

Patrick Carney 13:24 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 13:25 You know? It's on, like, CNN. You go down to the bottom of CNN-

Dan Auerbach 13:27 Dude, that's my Instagram. I scroll back a couple years and I'm like, "What the fuck happened to me?"

Patrick Carney 13:32 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 13:34 I'm like, I fucking quit smoking, I gained like 35 pounds-

Patrick Carney 13:37 (sighs)

Dan Auerbach 13:37 I've got, went gray. I'm like, "Fuck, man."

Joe Rogan 13:40 How much does smoking affect the way you feel?

Dan Auerbach 13:43 Not smoking is a, is a ... I feel amazing, but, and it was a weird addiction I had, a heavy addiction.

Joe Rogan 13:51 How many cigarettes were you smoking a day?

Dan Auerbach 13:53 A lot, man. Like, two packs easy.

Joe Rogan 13:56 Whoa.

Dan Auerbach 13:57 For about, for like 18, 19 years.

Joe Rogan 13:59 Ooh, that's a lot.

Dan Auerbach 14:01 I know, but then I'd, I, I, I had a, I had a baby coming and I just, uh, I had just set a date. And no books, no, no, no anything, no pills or anything. Set a date, and, uh, I bought a 12-pack of beer and four packs of cigarettes and went into my studio.

Patrick Carney 14:18 (inhales deeply)

Dan Auerbach 14:19 And just smoked every cigarette and drank every beer, and just felt like shit on purpose, knowing that I wouldn't want a cigarette, and I never smoked a cigarette after that.

Joe Rogan 14:29 Wow.

Dan Auerbach 14:29 But I did gain a lot of weight. I mean, chicken Parmesan tastes a lot better-

Joe Rogan 14:32 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 14:32 ... when you're not smoking cigarettes.

Patrick Carney 14:35 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 14:35 It's like, you know, I don't know, you have kids. I, I, I had my first kid last year, and you end up, you go through that, you know, I think most people go through that. You just realize like, "Oh shit, like I'm almost ... I'm 39. I gotta stick around for this, for this kid," and, "I cut the bullshit." So, that's what I was, that's what motivated me to, to do it.

Joe Rogan 14:55 It really affects your taste buds, huh?

Dan Auerbach 14:57 I, I think it affects your m- your metabolism.

Joe Rogan 14:59 Yeah.

Dan Auerbach 14:59 A lot.

Joe Rogan 14:59 Makes you speedy, right?

Dan Auerbach 15:01 It makes you speedy, it makes you, it just, it s- satiates your appetite completely.

Joe Rogan 15:06 Yeah.

Dan Auerbach 15:06 You don't, like I w- I eat, I eat like normal meals now and I've gained weight. But before, I was realizing I was just like barely eating food.

Joe Rogan 15:13 My friend Tony smokes, and he, he went down to the Juul, then he quit that to- uh, totally. Tony Hinchcliffe. And, um, he would smoke cigarettes before a show. I go, "Gimme one of those things." I go, "What does that do for you?" I go, "Gimme one of those things." And I, I lit it, and I, I hadn't smoked a cigarette in, you know, more than a decade. And I had, the last time I did, I did it for like a play. Uh, I couldn't believe how high I got. I'm like, "Oh my God, this gets you so high."

Dan Auerbach 15:40 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 15:40 Like, it's crazy how-

Dan Auerbach 15:41 Well yeah, but it does the first couple and then-

Joe Rogan 15:43 You chase the dragon.

Dan Auerbach 15:44 ... once you're back in there-

Joe Rogan 15:46 Yeah.

Dan Auerbach 15:46 ... then you're not getting that effect.

Joe Rogan 15:47 But it's, it is amazing.

Dan Auerbach 15:49 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 15:49 Like on its own, like what the, the hit that you get from a cigarette.

Dan Auerbach 15:52 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 15:52 I'm like, "Holy shit, I feel great."

Dan Auerbach 15:54 Well, I do.

Patrick Carney 15:55 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 15:55 Like I don't, I feel like, uh-

Patrick Carney 15:57 (coughs)

Dan Auerbach 15:57 ... every once in a while I'll, I'll, it'll be in a situation where I'll be like, "Oh man, I actually really do want a cigarette." But instantly I'm like, that will mean (taps fingers) for me, buying a whole pack-

Joe Rogan 16:09 Mm-hmm.

Dan Auerbach 16:10 ... being right back on it. Although I was like, I was like, "Well maybe, maybe I'll go th- do, give myself one weekend a year and I'll just torture myself, and allow myself to look forward to that one weekend a year, smoke some cigarettes." And it, and it, and it-

Joe Rogan 16:22 If you can make that kind of deal with yourself, I think that's possible.

Dan Auerbach 16:24 I think I'm capable of it, 'cause I do have pretty good willpower. I mean, I was able to quit just like cold turkey.

Joe Rogan 16:29 They, the people that would be like addiction specialists would tell you that you're fooling yourself.

Dan Auerbach 16:33 You're fooling yourself, buddy.

Joe Rogan 16:34 If I try to pretend, uh, I'm an addictions, let's say-

Dan Auerbach 16:36 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 16:36 ... I'm an addiction specialist.

Dan Auerbach 16:37 Mm-hmm. Okay.

Joe Rogan 16:37 Come on.

Dan Auerbach 16:38 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 16:38 But you don't need it.

Dan Auerbach 16:40 Yeah. No, I know.

Joe Rogan 16:41 You've, you've gone without this long.

Dan Auerbach 16:42 Yeah, I know.

Joe Rogan 16:42 Look how great everything is.

Dan Auerbach 16:44 I know, I mean, but then I'd say-

Joe Rogan 16:45 Why do you wanna go back to it? Why do you wanna open up the door?

Dan Auerbach 16:46 But, but then I would open up this door to this whole thing of like, why do you need anything?

Joe Rogan 16:50 That's a good point.

Dan Auerbach 16:50 I mean, and then it's like, it's like, it's 'cause it's fun. And if I could do it for one weekend and it- and it'd be less harmful, then every day-

Joe Rogan 16:58 Yeah.

Dan Auerbach 16:58 ... you know?

Joe Rogan 16:58 You should-

Dan Auerbach 16:59 I mean, ev- everybody has addictions. Everyone's full of addictions, whatever it is. Like I'm addicted to sleep. I think that's my biggest addiction.

Joe Rogan 17:05 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 17:05 It's like I-

Patrick Carney 17:06 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 17:06 ... I'm like, well, that was a big, my biggest fear really about having a child was like, "How am I gonna sle- What the fuck?" I w- I ne- you know what I mean? Like freaking out.

Patrick Carney 17:15 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 17:15 And to this day I'm like, "Uh," I get up to take my stepdaughter to school at like 7:00, and then I'm like, I come back in the house and I just sneak back into bed.

Patrick Carney 17:23 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 17:24 And I try to avoid having to wake up to take care of the baby.

Patrick Carney 17:27 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 17:29 I have excuses ready to go, like, "I got so much to do later today, man, I just need a couple more hours."

Patrick Carney 17:35 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 17:35 That's a good thing for your body though.

Dan Auerbach 17:36 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 17:37 Not enough people get that. So that's a good addiction.

Dan Auerbach 17:39 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 17:39 You got a solid, healthy addiction.

Dan Auerbach 17:41 I think if you don't get enough sleep, it's the worst thing for you. I mean, I've n- I, it's when I feel the craziest.

Joe Rogan 17:46 Me too. I feel like everything's barely keeping it together, you know? My, I'm functioning-

Dan Auerbach 17:51 Oh.

Joe Rogan 17:51 ... at like 70%.

Dan Auerbach 17:52 I know that, I know when I've reached the wall of exhaustion. It's like when I go to, like I need a nap and then I lay down-

Joe Rogan 17:57 (clears throat)

Dan Auerbach 17:57 ... and then, and I just have a full on like existential crisis. Like all, just so str- I get really stressed out when I'm tired.

Joe Rogan 18:03 Oof. Yeah. (clears throat)

Dan Auerbach 18:05 ... but yeah, I mean-

Joe Rogan 18:06 The cigarette one's so weird, 'cause if you think how many people are doing it right now, listening to this smoking a cigarette, and all of them know it's bad for them. But everyone's just drawn to it.

Dan Auerbach 18:17 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 18:17 It's just a weird... And it kind of represents that you're having fun. It represents that you're, you're, you know, you're free, doing whatever the fuck you want. I'm smoking a cigarette, I know it's bad, shut up.

Dan Auerbach 18:30 I don't know, I found it-

Patrick Carney 18:31 It's only like that once, when you're-

Joe Rogan 18:33 Right.

Patrick Carney 18:33 ... like 15.

Joe Rogan 18:34 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 18:34 No, no, I think it's like-

Patrick Carney 18:35 And then it's never like that ag- and then it's just an addiction.

Dan Auerbach 18:37 Well smoke, I, I do smoke a cigar every once in a while. And I, and I think that there, the, s- the thing about s- that's similar between the two, uh, aside from nicotine is y- 'cause you don't get much nicotine from a cigar. It's like not nearly as-

Joe Rogan 18:48 Not comparable, no.

Dan Auerbach 18:49 Yeah, not at all. But it is, like you're... Okay, it's like I'm telling myself and everybody around me, like fuck off for however long, like I, I, I have this time to myself. You know what I mean? So it is like a, it is like a, it is, there, there is that aspect to it. And I don't know. I mean, I think that if you marketed cigarettes right, man, you could get every motherfucker smoking, 'cause you could just say, like it's like the new coco- cacao nib. It's like-

Joe Rogan 19:12 (laughs)

Patrick Carney 19:12 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 19:12 It's like, it's like, they're like, "Native Americans used this shit." Like-

Joe Rogan 19:15 Uh, yes, they did.

Dan Auerbach 19:16 It's a natural antidepressant. Get on the fucking American Spirit.

Joe Rogan 19:18 "This doesn't have any, any chemicals in it."

Dan Auerbach 19:20 No chemicals.

Patrick Carney 19:21 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 19:21 Is there a difference as a cigarette smoker between the high you get from, like an American Spirit or, you know, a hand-rolled cigarette, versus, uh, like a Kool?

Dan Auerbach 19:31 You know, you just get r- I mean, when you're smoking cigarettes, you're just into your brand. And I got, I actually bought a JUUL based on a, a recommendation from a, from a friend years ago. Uh, so long ago that I'm, they follow me on Twitter. Like they must have looked at who was buying this shit, and I was one of the few people that was verified or something. It was 2014 or '15. And, um, that's when I knew, like when I... I knew that I could not be vaping. I hate it. And I was like a, the minute... And A, you look like a idiot, but B, like-

Joe Rogan 20:02 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 20:02 It's like temperature thing for me. It's like too, it's too hot. It's like fucking gross, and it's like might as well just not be smoking if you're gonna smoke the JUUL thing. But it's weird, 'cause my, my stepdaughter and all of her friends are like fascinated by the JUUL specifically.

Joe Rogan 20:19 Mm.

Dan Auerbach 20:19 It's like a epidemic with these, like high school kids that want... And I was like, "That's a funny joke until you all get addicted to cigarettes, 'cause that shit's fucking real."

Joe Rogan 20:28 But also, some kids are having problems with the oils in their lungs, right?

Dan Auerbach 20:33 I don't know.

Joe Rogan 20:34 Yeah, there was-

Patrick Carney 20:35 Yeah, some kids are not-

Joe Rogan 20:35 There's been a few kids-

Dan Auerbach 20:36 That's probably, that's pro- that's pro- that was probably from not moving around. That's probably just from looking at their iPad all day.

Patrick Carney 20:40 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 20:41 I think they're-

Patrick Carney 20:42 Oh, that's about-

Joe Rogan 20:42 ... they were saying that they'd grown some sort of infections to their lungs. They'd damaged their lungs. I don't know if it's true though. You know, it's like one of those stories that I just looked at the headline and I didn't look into it at all.

Dan Auerbach 20:53 It's Facebook one-like post.

Joe Rogan 20:56 Now, it's... Jamie, do you know, is that legit? Like did, have people really experienced severe lung disease associated with vaping? Is that real?

Patrick Carney 21:03 I think they're trying to link it, or there has been studies saying that maybe this is from it, because there's some sort of chemical that's in it.

Dan Auerbach 21:09 It's bu- but that's probably just the, it's probably just the cigarette lobbyists trying to shut that down.

Joe Rogan 21:13 Well, it's the number that's weird. It's like not that many. It's like a couple.

Dan Auerbach 21:17 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 21:17 Like what are they doing?

Dan Auerbach 21:19 I don't know, man. But I don't th- I don't think that the government should be regulating that kind of stuff, to be... I mean, it should reg- make sure it's like safe, but they shouldn't outlaw it. And I saw that California or someone...

Joe Rogan 21:28 Well, it seems easy for kids to get. That's where it gets weird.

Dan Auerbach 21:30 Well-

Joe Rogan 21:30 That's like the reason why we keep kids from cigarettes.

Dan Auerbach 21:33 I don't know.

Joe Rogan 21:33 It's not fair to get them hooked on something that's that physically addictive that young when your st- your brain is still forming, you know? You, it's like a sneaky trick-

Dan Auerbach 21:41 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 21:41 ... if you can keep it away from kids at an early age. But it makes them feel cool, man. (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 21:46 Well, I mean, is it... I mean, I feel like, uh, I don't know. I mean, I feel like weed wasn't that hard to get when we, we were in high school. But now it must be way easier. So I, I don't know.

Joe Rogan 21:58 Do you think it's easier to get weed or cigarettes if you're in high school?

Patrick Carney 22:02 Weed.

Dan Auerbach 22:02 In California? Probably weed.

Patrick Carney 22:03 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 22:05 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 22:05 I mean, people, I, people, pe- I, I know people here that are like, when I was smoking, be like, "Oh my God, I can't believe you smoke." And then they're just like smoking a joint. I'm like-

Joe Rogan 22:13 Right.

Dan Auerbach 22:13 ... "Man, fuck off."

Patrick Carney 22:14 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 22:15 Yeah.

Dan Auerbach 22:15 Fuck off. And they drive-

Joe Rogan 22:16 Fuck off.

Dan Auerbach 22:16 ... they're driving around in their Tesla, and I'm like, "That's a cool-ass fucking car." But what happens when you get, like a 300-pound battery full of heavy metals in the dump, like 100 years from now? I, I don't know what the fuck happens. Who the fuck knows?

Joe Rogan 22:29 What is, what do they do with the, the metals from the batteries?

Dan Auerbach 22:32 Well, I'm just saying, man.

Joe Rogan 22:33 They recycle them?

Dan Auerbach 22:33 These giant, I'm saying-

Patrick Carney 22:34 That's what's in the JUUL. (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 22:35 No, I'm just... No, I'm saying like, I'm just saying, man, that the thing about the Tesla and all these electric cars is I think that they're really smart and cool, but I, but the idea of having to, to fil- filter all these rare earth minerals into one place-

Joe Rogan 22:47 Mm-hmm.

Dan Auerbach 22:47 ... that much.

Joe Rogan 22:48 Right.

Dan Auerbach 22:49 It's the first time that's ever happened.

Joe Rogan 22:50 It's a good argument.

Dan Auerbach 22:51 Well, I don't know. I, I-

Joe Rogan 22:52 It's, it's an interesting argument.

Dan Auerbach 22:53 ... I had a, we had a buddy who d- who had leukemia and, um, bone cancer actually. And, uh, the doctor, his doctor, who wasn't a quack, I think he was at the Cleveland Clinic, was like, "This is from having too many heavy metals in your system. That's how you got this." He's like, "Your me- your heavy metals are out, out of control." And then, uh, h- the doctor said, "Did you grow up near a mine?" And the kid s- asked his parents, he's like, "What's this about?" And they're like, "Oh yeah, we had you on a commune in, in, uh, in, in Colorado. We lived there for your first year of life."

Joe Rogan 23:23 In a mine? Like in an area with a mine?

Dan Auerbach 23:24 Like in a old mine. It was like an old mining town.

Joe Rogan 23:27 Oh, Jesus.

Dan Auerbach 23:27 Yeah, and he said, "That's probably what it came from." I don't know. I don't know what I'm talking about, man. I'm a drummer.

Joe Rogan 23:31 No, but that, that makes sense-

Dan Auerbach 23:33 That's amazing.

Joe Rogan 23:33 ... that you would get that from a mine. I mean, if it gets into the air and into the atmosphere-

Dan Auerbach 23:35 Well, because you're, you're, you're, w- well, no, you're filtering like the heaviest-

Joe Rogan 23:39 Yeah.

Dan Auerbach 23:39 ... metals down, so you're g- you're, like if y- I, I don't know if you've ever been to, like, uh, there's a town, what's it called? Uh, Jerome, Arizona. My wife's from, from Sedona, and near there, there's this little mining town called Jerome. It's really cool, like kind of touristy spot. But there's this giant slag hill. I mean, it's m- it's massive, and it's just like all of the, all of the shit that wasn't copper or gold or silver-

Joe Rogan 24:05 Wow.

Dan Auerbach 24:05 ... but was heavier, and sinking to the bottom when they were looking for that stuff. And then they throw it... And that's the kind of-... shit that's the rare earth mineral stuff that they make, you know, cadmium, and whatever else, lithium.

Joe Rogan 24:16 So it's just laying around?

Dan Auerbach 24:18 Well, it's just your- your- your- when you're- i- these mining towns would ice, would- would concentrate it.

Joe Rogan 24:22 Wow.

Dan Auerbach 24:22 Because it was all the stuff they wouldn't use. They didn't-

24:24 It was waste? It was waste-

24:25 It was waste stuff.

Joe Rogan 24:26 So did they know, has anybody done some sort of an environmental test to find out what effect it's had on the water or the-

Dan Auerbach 24:32 I don't know, man.

Joe Rogan 24:33 ... the soil?

Dan Auerbach 24:35 I don't know. We'll find out.

Joe Rogan 24:36 I know a dude who had severe bone cancer because he grew up in an area that was irrigated with, uh, like, different pesticides. They put pesticides down. It got into the- the groundwater.

Dan Auerbach 24:47 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 24:47 And then, uh, quite a few people in his neighborhood got cancer, and they- they made a correlation. Who knows if it's 100% what caused it, but-

Dan Auerbach 24:54 No.

Joe Rogan 24:54 ... a bunch of people got similar cancer. So you got a metal lead-

Dan Auerbach 24:57 That's how my grandpa died. My grandpa was a landscaper, and he used to- he had a plastic bucket.

Joe Rogan 25:02 Oof.

Dan Auerbach 25:02 And he would take the pesticides and he'd fill the bucket with water, put the pesticide in, mix it with his hand every day.

Joe Rogan 25:07 Oh, Jesus.

Dan Auerbach 25:07 And he died of bone cancer. Same-

Joe Rogan 25:09 Oh.

Dan Auerbach 25:09 Same thing.

Joe Rogan 25:09 Fuck, man.

Dan Auerbach 25:11 Well, I hear, I've also heard that lung cancer, a lot of it, a lot of it is caused from, um, actually the fertilizer used, which is, and when you- it's like a- a pl- plumonium, the same shit they used to kill the- the Russian-

Joe Rogan 25:26 Oh, Jesus.

Dan Auerbach 25:26 ... spy, you know? It's like, basically, like, it's a isotope of lead, I think, or- and if you- if you heat it up, it becomes this isotope. You- and over years of smoking, your body builds up s- small amounts of pluto- plutonium. Eventually, you know, you- oh, and that mixed with the carbon, the radioactive carbon isotopes of smoking. You know?

25:47 Phew.

25:47 That's why, I mean, I think if you figure that out, I'd still be smoking, if you could just get rid of those two things. (laughing)

Joe Rogan 25:53 Well, if they just figure out some sort of stem cell spray, you can ch- ch- down there every day.

Dan Auerbach 25:57 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 25:57 It heals 100% all the smoking damage. How many people would go back to smoking?

Dan Auerbach 26:02 What if- would it- would it heal the brain damage?

Joe Rogan 26:05 Does the smoking give you brain damage as well?

Dan Auerbach 26:06 Well, no, but I mean, like Jose Canseco, if he has that.

Joe Rogan 26:09 Oh.

Dan Auerbach 26:09 That would be cool.

Joe Rogan 26:10 The- they're thinking they may be someday able to regenerate tissue in- in the brain, but they- they've never been able to prove that they can do it. It's just a theory. They think they can regenerate disc tissue, too, and I know they're doing studies on that. Like the spongy stuff in between your spinal column, that they think they can regenerate that stuff with stem cells.

Dan Auerbach 26:29 Wow.

Joe Rogan 26:29 But there's no- no proof yet. But it's- it's exciting stuff.

Dan Auerbach 26:33 I mean, it's exciting. I- I personally prefer to ignore all- all- all med- all medical stuff 'cause it freaks me out. (laughing) I went to the doctor, like, to get a- as I get a physical for the first time, and it was just based on me, like, I quit smoking, I'm gaining some weight. Let me just get- let me just figure out where I'm at. And we also needed one for our tour, so I was like, this is good.

26:50 Insurance, yeah. We had to do physicals.

26:51 For insurance, and I went in, like, I was like, "What's up with this?" Like, what- how- how's my heart look? And the woman, literally the woman who was feeling my heart, like, "I can't get this other... I don't- I think I got it right?" The EKG thing. I was like-

27:02 (laughing)

27:02 ... "So my heart look- my heart- my heart looks good?" She's like, "Looks really good." I was like, "Uh, okay."

27:06 Jesus Christ. (laughing)

27:08 And then they, like, did some blood work, they're like, "Yeah, looks really good. There's- there's some high levels of this and that." I was like, "What's that?" Like, "I don't- we don't really know. But just- we'll check in in a couple months." And I was like, came back, and like, "Yeah, I think you've just gained some weight, but we're not really sure." Like, basically, I don't know. I mean, I've seen medicine save people's lives before, and then I've- I've seen also, like, it be, like, you know, see- you know. It basically, it feels like out- they still don't know what the fuck is happening in your body.

27:39 (laughs)

27:40 A- a lot of times.

Joe Rogan 27:42 Yeah.

Dan Auerbach 27:42 So it's like, it's best to, like, probably avoid a lot of that shit.

27:45 (laughs)

27:46 It's like, if- try- try to avoid getting sick.

Joe Rogan 27:49 Definitely.

Dan Auerbach 27:50 (laughs)

27:50 Uh, if you can. That's my medical advice.

Joe Rogan 27:52 That's solid advice.

Dan Auerbach 27:53 Well, I mean, like, I went and they told me that I had this, like, elevated liver enzyme. I was like, "Is that from drinking beer or something?" They're like, "No, actually it's just, like, it's not- it's not even like- it's not-" That- it would be different. It'd be the opposite. I was like, "Well, what's it from?" Like, "I don't know. Don't worry about it."

28:07 (laughs)

28:07 And I was like... I went- I went to this other guy who like, he's like, "Oh, okay, yeah. You've got some fat in your liver." And I was like, "Is it 'cause I gained weight? 'Cause that's why I'm here in the first place." And they're like, "Probably that's it." I was like, "What should I do about it?" They're like, "Just lose some weight if you can." I was like, "Oh, fuck."

28:24 He's just like, since he got the physical, he's just been laying it- awake at night. Just- (laughs)

28:28 I'm just, like, stressing out now.

28:29 Scared. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 28:29 (laughing)

Dan Auerbach 28:29 I'm like, I'm like, I was like, "I'd be better off not getting this physical 'cause I could've diagnosed myself of being a fat ass myself."

28:34 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 28:35 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 28:35 Like, I don't need this shit.

Joe Rogan 28:37 Well, th- you know what you needed?

Dan Auerbach 28:38 Yeah.

28:38 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 28:38 You needed someone who's a doctor, but also can take you several steps down the road.

Dan Auerbach 28:43 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 28:43 For, "This is what we're gonna do. Here's what your plan is."

Dan Auerbach 28:46 Well, it's all about bedside manner, man.

Joe Rogan 28:47 Yes.

Dan Auerbach 28:47 It's all about that.

Joe Rogan 28:48 Yeah.

Dan Auerbach 28:48 Because look, the- I've- I had this person be like, um, "If- Look, if there's something really- that you really need to be stressing out about, I'll let you know, but otherwise I'll stress out for you." I'm like, "What? That's not- not how I work."

29:00 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 29:01 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 29:01 How does- I need- if I know that there's one thing that-

Joe Rogan 29:03 Ugh.

Dan Auerbach 29:03 And like, you know, someone really close to me had a really severe life-threatening, um, episode earlier this year that was s- very fucking traumatic for everybody involved, including myself. And I- I ended up gaining, like, twen- 20 pounds in a month basically, 15 pounds, uh, from this. And I haven't really been able to shake it. And that's what led me to get this physical. But watching this thing happen to this person, who was very close to me, was like, um, it's- I was like, what- the bedside manner was just, like, insanity. 'Cause it w- I- it was the first time I'd been in a real, someone that wasn't, didn't have, like, a long-term illness, just like life- it's life or death.

Joe Rogan 29:42 Mm-hmm.

Dan Auerbach 29:42 And like, it was like, there was no, there was no comforting. It was like, oh yeah, at any minute, this person could die for like five days. I think, "Is there anything you could do?" They're like, "Mm-mm. No, no, we've done everything. Just s- you know, just, uh, sit tight." It was- it was like, "Fuck."

30:07 (exhales)

Joe Rogan 30:07 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 30:07 Yeah, it was like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 30:09 Do you think they have PTSD? Do you think, like, emergency room doctors have PTSD?

Dan Auerbach 30:13 Well-

Joe Rogan 30:13 They have to, right?

Dan Auerbach 30:14 Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 30:15 Don't you think?

Dan Auerbach 30:16 Well, the- well, the idea that this one person had to sit me down and tell me what was going on, and like, the look in this dude's eyes, it was like-He looked freaked out. But he wa- he, he wasn't calming me at all. You know what I mean? It was like-

Joe Rogan 30:29 Right.

Dan Auerbach 30:29 Yeah, but he also didn't wanna leave ... You know, he couldn't pretend it was gonna be okay. But yeah, I, I can't-

Joe Rogan 30:34 Can you imagine having to have those conversations with someone?

Dan Auerbach 30:36 I can't imagine it.

30:37 Yeah, every day, multiple times.

30:38 I can't imagine it.

Joe Rogan 30:39 Yeah. People get mad at you sometimes.

Dan Auerbach 30:42 No, man. I can't imagine it. It's the, it's, I th- I could never do that job.

Joe Rogan 30:47 I think we don't think of them as experiencing it traumatically because they're doctors. We think they should be able to handle it.

Dan Auerbach 30:54 Right.

Joe Rogan 30:55 But I mean, they're just, they're also humans, who are seeing dead humans.

Dan Auerbach 30:58 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 30:58 Like, those consequences affect every one of us. With, y- when you look at that all the time, I don't buy that you don't experience some form of like, intense stress.

Dan Auerbach 31:08 I mean, I've experienced ex- intense stress from doing the thing I love the most, which is playing, playing concerts. You know what I mean? I've experienced it firsthand, where it's like ... And it f- that's way different.

Joe Rogan 31:19 When does it hit you? Like when-

Dan Auerbach 31:21 (laughs)

31:21 Obviously I'm not like-

Joe Rogan 31:22 Yeah.

Dan Auerbach 31:22 ... telling someone their fucking loved one's like, about to fucking die. But uh-

Joe Rogan 31:28 Do you still feel e- periods of stress?

Dan Auerbach 31:30 Man, it's all, for me, it's all about just being in the right head space.

Joe Rogan 31:33 Mm.

Dan Auerbach 31:34 You know? I mean like, when we first started playing, we would play these indie rock clubs, you know, 'cause we, we come from that background. Like, I guess what they would call now hipster shit, or whatever. And that was just people who liked, you know, really passionate about certain types of music that wasn't massively appreciated. You know, which is still kinda what we're into. But w- because of that, most of the people that would be coming to our shows were like, the high fidelity type, record store clerk. You know, you're playing a show, and it's just like, arms crossed, but afterwards, like, "Pretty good." You know, we'd be little, we'd be like 22, 22 year old kids, and the, the, the, the gatekeepers were like 30, you know, 32 year old ... Now, I would look at them as pr- maybe being, like, uh, you know, the, uh, supportive. But at the time, it was, uh, more supportive. But at the time, it felt more like judging. You know what I mean?

Joe Rogan 32:24 Mm-hmm.

Dan Auerbach 32:24 So if I get in the wrong head state, set, headset, head space, and I'm out on stage, I'm like, "Oh man, everyone's here to like judge, judge us or something."

Joe Rogan 32:32 Mm.

Dan Auerbach 32:33 You know what I mean? Like, 'cause you're looking at this big crowd. But then, I have, you know, I ultimately do, I ultimately tell myself, I was like, the worst band of all time has probably played to more, more ... You know, like some terrible, like Menudo's played to more people.

32:46 (laughs)

32:47 You know what I mean? Like, this isn't that many people. There's like, like tonight, we're playing the Wiltern, there's like, there's like 3,000 people. It's like, let's be honest. Like, the worst standup comedian, like I don't know, or the, the w- the ... I don't know, man.

32:59 (laughs)

32:59 Like the, like, like the fifth Jonas Brother could sell 5,000 tickets in LA probably. So, it's less stressful when you've, when I like ... Or Gallagher too could probably sell 3,000 fucking tickets in Los Angeles. Come on. But that's how I look at it, you know? I'm like, "Oh, we deserve to be here more than that person does."

33:17 (laughs)

33:17 We put our time in.

Joe Rogan 33:18 (laughs) That's a hilarious way to look at it.

Dan Auerbach 33:20 I'm serious.

Joe Rogan 33:21 Well, why would you concentrate on things that you think that suck? Does that alleviate anxiety? Does it actually work?

Dan Auerbach 33:26 Uh, no, I read this thing, uh, that Captain Beefheart, one of our favorite musicians said, and it was like, "If you start, if you think about what you're doing, you've already lost the, the battle."

Joe Rogan 33:35 Mm.

Dan Auerbach 33:35 And I, the, the, the reality is, is that I don't need to think about what ... And I know Dan doesn't either. We don't need to think about what we're doing. So because you- we're not thinking about what we're doing, like, the trick is to stay in the moment with the music. But I can play and not think about it, and then I start thinking like, "What's that person fucking thinking about out there?"

33:52 (laughs)

33:52 You know what I mean? It's like, I'm like, I got this other conversation happening here, I'm like, and I'll-

33:56 It's an in- like an intruder.

33:57 Yeah, just like, fuck it's, I like, like temporary schizophrenia. Like, from ...

Joe Rogan 34:02 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 34:02 Like, "Pat, what if you just stopped playing?"

34:04 (laughs)

34:05 Like a devil, angel, like ... Yeah, there's like ... I actually remember thinking that on g- on stage at Glastonbury, there were like, you know, there was like 200,000 people or close to that. And be like, "Oh, if I just stop playing, like, (laughs) what would happen?"

Joe Rogan 34:17 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 34:17 (laughs)

34:17 And so I, and so I'm like, so I had to really, maybe don't do that. Don't do it. Just keep going.

34:22 Yeah, he had, he, yeah.

34:23 (laughs)

34:24 Pat Sorien had a, almost had a breakdown at, in Lollapalooza one New Year.

34:28 We both, it was intense for both of us, actually.

34:30 Yeah.

34:30 Because you know what it was? I mean, you should tell the story.

34:34 I mean, I just remember it from my point of view. I don't know. I don't know what was going on through your head at the moment.

34:40 Five Red Bulls.

Joe Rogan 34:41 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 34:43 He was getting into this thing where he would be really anxious and drink a lot of Red Bull.

Joe Rogan 34:47 Oh, no.

Dan Auerbach 34:48 And so we got on stage, and it was like a sea of people. And he was on his fifth Red Bull, and his eyes were like saucers.

34:55 (laughs)

34:55 And he's just staring at me. (laughs)

34:59 Ugh.

35:00 And uh, I had to like talk him off the ledge, right? Like uh, I had to like put my foot up on the riser and kinda lean in, and kinda talk in a voice, calm voice. "Hey man, how you doing?"

35:11 You know what it w-

35:11 (laughs)

35:12 I mean, I was just, I was just exhausted, really. You know what I mean?

35:14 I'm like, "What do you wanna do? Whatever you wanna do is cool with me. You know (laughs) what, just let me know."

35:18 He had to calm me down.

35:19 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 35:20 How many Red Bulls does it take before it becomes speed?

Dan Auerbach 35:23 I, I don't, I don't drink that shit anymore. But you know, I w- I think we also had been playing these shows, and it was exhausting.

35:28 Yeah, most of it had to do with our, our, uh, schedule. Our stress.

35:31 And it was the middle of summer. It was hot as hell. And I, I, and I would think I was severely dehydrated.

Joe Rogan 35:37 Oh.

Dan Auerbach 35:37 (laughs)

35:37 But, but, I mean, I was, 'cause we played this one show in Des Moines right around this time. Thi- this was in 2010, right? So this is, this is when this happened, was at Lollapalooza 2010. And this is a festival that we had played like, um, four times before. So it wasn't like something new. And we weren't even headlining this time. It was just like, we were on stage doing something. I was actually looking forward to the show. But this was like a pivotal moment for me. It was like, I, I just kinda missed a beat of a song. Something that no one else even noticed other than probably Dan. And then I was like, "Oh, shit." And I got like, I spun out. And then I just kept spinning out. You know what I mean? Like a panic, like a panic attack on stage.

Joe Rogan 36:17 Hm.

Dan Auerbach 36:17 And when you have like a panic attack, like you know, f- you tend to get a panic attack doing the same thing you did before. So I, for a while, was having a pan- like little mini panic attacks every time I was on stage.

Joe Rogan 36:29 Hm.

Dan Auerbach 36:30 But I got through the set and everything was fine. But I was like, "Fuck." And a part of it was that I looked out, and there were like 50,000 people. We'd been playing this festival f- four or five times before, and-... to, like, crowds starting at maybe 5,000 people, and now here we are. The way most of the festivals watching, uh, us play. And it was like, "Oh, shit," like, "What the fuck's happening?" Finally, people were here, and then I was like, "I can't fuck it up now."

36:53 (laughs)

36:54 And then they're like, "Boom." (laughs)

36:56 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 36:56 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 36:56 But you know, I- I went to go see... I went to go see this dude here, uh, in, uh, in LA, in Santa Monica, named Kerry Gaynor, who like, he specializes in, like-

37:06 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 37:06 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 37:06 ... fear... He's a hypnotist. I mean, look man, I didn't know what to do.

37:10 Wait, wait a second. (claps hands together) This gets so good, man. (laughs) Keep going. (laughs)

37:14 Dude, I didn't know what to do because I didn't... Like, a couple of friends are like, "Man, just get some beta blockers. Get some...

37:20 (coughs)

37:20 ... get some, uh, Valium. Drink some beer." Right? Like, I can't do any of that shit before I go on. Like, I- I can't be relying on that before I play. (inhales deeply) So I was like, I- I got a recommendation to go see this hypnotist who p- specializes in, like, quitting smoking and fear of flying, and also stage fright. He does a lot of, like, actors who are gonna do, like, plays for the first time. So I went to go see Kerry at his house and, uh, we were playing some shows at the Palladium, and he, he did this thing, hypnotized me, and the second night, like, I- I went back... The first night we played, I, it was a lot better. The second night we played, it was, like, pretty much gone, and then I woke up in the hallway of the Roosevelt Hotel-

38:04 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 38:04 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 38:04 ... in the stairwell in my underwear at, like, 7:00 in the morning.

38:09 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 38:09 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 38:09 And I'm literally in this, in the, in, I'm in the staircase-

38:13 (laughs)

38:13 ... in my underwear at 7:00 in the morning.

38:16 (laughs)

38:16 And I, I'm like, "What the fuck?"

38:20 (laughs)

38:20 And I just remember, like, this number, like, 708 or... I think it was, like, 7- 708. 'Cause I'd only been to the room one, like, two, two times. I'd never...

Joe Rogan 38:27 (Puffing air) (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 38:28 And my girlfriend at the time was in there, luckily, and I went and knocked on the door. She's like, "What the fuck? Where the fuck were you going?" I was like, "I just don't know."

38:36 (laughs)

38:36 Hypnotism, it's real.

Joe Rogan 38:38 Jesus.

Dan Auerbach 38:39 Have you ever been hypnotized?

38:40 (coughs)

Joe Rogan 38:40 Yes. Yes.

Dan Auerbach 38:42 Did it work?

Joe Rogan 38:42 Yes.

Dan Auerbach 38:43 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 38:43 Yeah, there's a guy who was on yesterday, actually. His name's Vinny Shorman. He hypnotizes a lot of fighters.

Dan Auerbach 38:49 Okay.

Joe Rogan 38:50 And, uh, he, uh...

Dan Auerbach 38:51 Hypnotizes fighters?

Joe Rogan 38:52 Yeah, he gets them into this ver- it's really interesting. Like I didn't, I've, I'd never had it before, and I wanted to try it. I was like, okay, I've, I've had these thoughts that it was probably bullshit or it's for people who have weak minds. But it's a state that they can talk you into. And someone who's really good, like Vinny, can talk you into this state.

Dan Auerbach 39:11 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 39:11 And then you're totally conscious, but you're definitely, you're definitely in this weird tunnel where you feel safe. Like, mentally safe.

Dan Auerbach 39:19 It works.

Joe Rogan 39:19 And you can talk and think about things in a way that's almost free of normal, regular anxiety. You can, you can address the anxiety. You can see it, but it's, for the brief amount of time while you're really in that state, you, you can get rid of all that shit.

Dan Auerbach 39:34 The- this dude-

Joe Rogan 39:35 Very weird.

Dan Auerbach 39:36 This guy, um, Kerry, I just remember s- a couple things specifically that he said. When I went... So that he said, like, you know, "Your... You know, you're- you're afraid of messing up." He's like, "That's the whole point of, like, being in a rock band is, like, it's okay to mess up. It's not supposed to be perfect." You know what I mean? Perfection isn't something that anybody even wants. You know what I mean? Like, if you go to, like, a art gallery and you see, like, a Thomas Kinkade painting, no one wants that shit.

40:04 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 40:04 (snorts)

Dan Auerbach 40:04 You know what I mean? Like, he... And he's like... He was telling me all this. He was tell... He was telling me this shit. Like, he was, like, basically like, "You know, your personality is f- you know, everyone's flawed. We're human beings. It's okay." Like...

Joe Rogan 40:18 Yeah.

Dan Auerbach 40:19 "Whatever. Like, you're not supposed to be perfect. You're- you have no desire to be the... You know, there's no c- drumming competition you've entered." You know what I mean? And I was like... I came out of it like, "Yeah, fuck it." Like, "I'm supposed to just be here having fun," and that... It worked. And then I got really nervous a couple years later when we were supposed to play the Grammys, uh, on TV, and I just got really fucking nervous about- about it. Um, and I think I got nervous because it's just... It's, like, one of those things that's not natural for us.

Joe Rogan 40:43 Right.

Dan Auerbach 40:43 'Cause, like, we're gonna be playing music on stage with all this pop music and stuff that has nothing to do with what we're about. Um, but we had- we couldn't say no. We had... I think we had to do it because we- we- we- we couldn't just knock it till we tried it. But, um, we had sat through the Grammy performance before and it... And it was atrocious.

41:02 (laughs)

41:03 I mean, it really is, like, so alienating for... I mean, especially when the big pop stuff comes out, it's like, what we do is- is- is some- is something different. You know what I mean? (inhales deeply) So I went to go see him before we played the Grammys, and he- he t- he did this whole thing. He's like, "Well, I'm gonna hypnotize." And I remember it, like, he's like, "When they tell you 30 seconds, you're gonna start... It's 30 seconds till you're on, you're gonna start smiling. When they get to, like, 15, it's gonna get bigger. When they say four, like, you're just not gonna be able to stop smiling." And I was like... Anyway, the shit were... Fucking if you watch the video, I'm just, like, smiling the whole time.

41:38 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 41:38 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 41:38 And the minute the, and the minute the song ends, like, I just drop my drumsticks and like, "Get me the fuck out of here."

41:43 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 41:43 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 41:43 "I'm never doing that again."

41:44 (laughs) Ah.

41:45 But it was. I will say, it was like... I think it's the best TV performance that-

Joe Rogan 41:48 Why are you- you're never doing it again because you'd never perform at the Grammys again, or you'd never get hypnotized again?

Dan Auerbach 41:53 Oh, I would get hypnotized again if I needed it. I just... (laughs)

41:56 The stress. Just the stress.

Joe Rogan 41:57 Just the stress of doing that.

Dan Auerbach 41:58 Just the stress. Just the stress of doing that. I mean, I would-

Joe Rogan 42:00 I think this is-

Dan Auerbach 42:00 I would do the Grammys again, po- possibly, sure. You know, but it was like, at the time, you know, it just seemed like unnecessary stress. And then, like, this whole, all this, I think, uh... I had a couple of issues about the Grammys because the first time we ever went, like, we won, um, two Grammys. It was... Like, this is the weird thing. We go and our... The awards that we're nominated for were given away at the pre-telecast. This is the first time we were nominated for a Grammys. This is on our record Brothers. So we're there, like, February of 2011. And, uh, my brother Michael was nominated for a Grammy, so he- he... For a re- record cover of the year for our record. So Mike wins a Grammy.... first, right off the bat, (snaps fingers) first award of the day, record cover, Mike wins. It gets down to like the alternate, the alt rock category, we win, like, rock performance of the year or something. We go in the Staples Center conference area, or wherever we go, collect our award, and we're standing on the side of the stage, and they say, uh, "Next up are the, uh, rock song of the year." They list all the nominees, including us. We're, so we stay there because we're now nominated for this award. And like, and also Neil Young for whatever song, and like, so Neil Young wins that. And then they're like, "This is Neil Young's first Grammy award." And at that moment, I was like, "What the fuck? My brother, Michael-

Joe Rogan 43:21 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 43:21 ... has had a Grammy longer than Neil Young."

Joe Rogan 43:24 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 43:24 I'm like, "That's so fucking crazy." I'm like-

Joe Rogan 43:27 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 43:27 And us two knuckleheads have two. And then we go and we win a Grammy right after him. We win the al- Alternative Album of the Year. So now we have more Grammies than Neil Young within tens- ten minutes. And w-

Joe Rogan 43:39 Jesus.

Dan Auerbach 43:39 And, and I was like, "This is all kinda fucking insane, isn't it?"

Joe Rogan 43:42 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 43:42 Like, uh, none of it makes sense. I started looking, and none of my favorite bands have fucking Grammies. Like, The Clash don't have a fucking Grammy.

Joe Rogan 43:48 The Clash don't have a Grammy?

Dan Auerbach 43:49 No. So I'm like-

Joe Rogan 43:50 What?

Dan Auerbach 43:51 So then, anyway, I'm thinking about this the whole day, just like, "This is insane." I, I mean, it's exciting, it's cool, but it's also like, it's a lo- it's like, it means a lot less when your favorite bands don't have Grammies-

Joe Rogan 44:01 Right.

Dan Auerbach 44:01 ... that should have them.

Joe Rogan 44:02 How does a Grammy work?

Dan Auerbach 44:03 So-

Joe Rogan 44:03 Is it-

Dan Auerbach 44:03 Well, wait, I was gonna finish this thing real quick.

Joe Rogan 44:06 Okay.

Dan Auerbach 44:06 Because this is what the apprehension I have about the Grammies, is like this, uh, day ended with us going back to the hotel we were staying at, which at the time was the Chateau Marmont, and TMZ was there. And it popped out, like we tried to like just avoid the r- their, Warner Brothers has a party there, we were trying to avoid all of that stuff just to go hang out with our friends. And T- and, uh, a camera literally like bumps out at the liquor locker right there on the corner. And like, and the guy asks me, he's like, "How do you feel about Justin Bieber not having a gr- Grammy?" And I was just like, "I'm sitting here thinking about The Clash." You know what I mean?

Joe Rogan 44:41 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 44:41 And like, Justin Bieber, he's got... I would like, I'll tr- sell him my Grammies for all the money he has.

Joe Rogan 44:47 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 44:47 Basically, what I'm trying to say is like, the motherfucker should be happy just to have a fucking career. Um, I said something like that. And I wasn't, it was just like, "I'm not even..." you know, it wasn't even like, necessarily a knock on Justin Bieber, it was just like, k- that's my response to the question. I'm thinking about something else, and then we get in the car and we leave. And then the next morning, I wake up to a tweet. This is right at the height of the anti-bullying shit too, which is like, you know, Justin Bieber, like, "Don't bully motherfucker..." he's like, "The drummer from The Black Keys should get slapped."

Joe Rogan 45:17 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 45:18 And I, at the time, I was like, thought it was the funniest fucking thing that's ever happened. But I was like, "You know what? I can't deal with any of that shit." Like, I don't want any of that shit. Um. (laughs) Uh, and so I realized like, that's, that was my experience about the, my apprehension about playing the Grammies all came back to that. It was like, "What is the fucking Grammy?"

Joe Rogan 45:40 Yeah.

Dan Auerbach 45:40 "What is this shit?" And it was like, we're just jerking ourselves off, like congratulating ourselves. Does anybody watch this shit that really cares about us? I, I don't think so.

Joe Rogan 45:49 But also, what if there's like 12 great bands? Does only one of them win the Grammy of the Year, right? Is there second place, third place, or is there anything like that? Like, the idea of judging art is always weird. But to judge like one? You got one? You pick one?

Dan Auerbach 46:06 And y- it's-

Joe Rogan 46:06 Out of all these that are awesome?

Dan Auerbach 46:08 It's also like, it's, it's, uh, you know, ultimately, it's no different than any other election. It, it, it-

Joe Rogan 46:16 Yeah.

Dan Auerbach 46:16 Like, uh, the year that we were nominated for Album of the Year, so was, so was Jack White. So our, we split our votes, you know what I mean? Like someone-

Joe Rogan 46:24 Right.

Dan Auerbach 46:24 ... had, someone had to either vote for us or Jack, or like Mumford & Sons. It's ultimately complete nonsense, you know what I mean?

Joe Rogan 46:30 It s- it seems like it perverts the love th- of the thing. 'Cause it's like, what you guys do is awesome. I love your music. But I, I feel you're m- like, I just want you to do it. You know? Just when there's little contests, and this is number one, and this one wins-

Dan Auerbach 46:48 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 46:48 ... this, and this is the Band of the Year, and the Album of the Year, like says who and why is it a contest? Can't it just be this is awesome shit? Here's some different awesome shit. Well, that, that's why we didn't...

Dan Auerbach 46:57 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 46:57 That's why we didn't bundle.

Dan Auerbach 46:58 That was the whole motivation behind this record, was like, it was to not, um, not partake in the current bullshit in the music industry, which is, so check this out. Do you mind if I explain it?

Joe Rogan 47:13 Please do.

Dan Auerbach 47:13 Okay. We had a conversation with our manager, um, about this record, right, you know, release. We, and it like, it went from everything like, "We have f- family, we don't really wanna be on the road for 100 days this year. We don't necessarily wanna do anything we don't, we don't wanna do anything we're not excited about." You know, so it came down to the promotion and stuff, and it was basically it was like, "We wanna get in front of people and play our songs and have fun. You know?" And uh, and the conversation came up with about the actual album, like, um, Warner Brothers was interested if we wanted to bundle it. Which is when you include the record like, with a ticket. Right? And a lot of people have been doing it, whether you buy a T-shirt and you get a record, and it's a digital download link. Um, and I was like, "Well, how does that work?" And they're like, "Well, um, you, uh, you would give $5 from each ticket back to Warner Brothers. And then you would get a record sale." And I was like, "That doesn't make, that doesn't make any sense to, to me, and to Dan." And they're like, "Yeah, I know, well, you would, you, it's the only way you're gonna get a number one record. So if you want a number one record, you gotta do that." And I was like, "Well," I was like, "Well, um, so it's one-to-one, like we give five bucks back and then we get a royalty and we get a ticket sale?" They're like, "No, you don't get a royalty. And you only get a ti- you only get a album count- sale count if they click the link." And they have like, we have a 50% click-through. So, in other words, we would pay $10 per sale on Nielsen SoundScan...... by giving the money back that we've sold on tickets, uh, to Warner Brothers, to our record label." I was like, "Fuck that. Fuck that shit."

Joe Rogan 48:58 Wow.

Dan Auerbach 48:59 At this point-

Joe Rogan 49:00 That is a crazy deal.

Dan Auerbach 49:01 Check it out, we've sold 250,000 tickets on this tour. So we would give back 1.25 million. Our record advance for this record was less than that. So that, so it, I was like, if Dan and I were just doing our own record label, we could give ourselves $5 per ticket and count, and we just keep the, we just take the money from the right hand to the left hand, give you a link, if you counted it, we get the sale, we keep the money. That's basically what the fuck was going on. You know what I mean? And it's a, it's all based on fear, like all of this shit. It's like, do you wanna be relevant, you know? That's basically the conversation that, that is basically being had, not that direct, but it's like, as an artist, you better try to get a, get good numbers, get that sh- first week up there. And Dan and I are basically like, "Fuck that. Fuck it. It doesn't even fucking matter." People are gonna come to the shows or they're not gonna come to the shows. We're gonna make records, people are gonna buy them or they're not gonna buy them. Um, and I think that it's really, it's detrimental to the music industry, like to, (sighs) to pay too close attention to certain metrics, man. It's like, the, the whole system right now with these majors is like signing shit that has the most social media interaction, the most streaming. And I was like, you know what? When I was nine years old, I bought Vanilla Ice's Ice Ice Baby.

Joe Rogan 50:18 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 50:18 And I listened to that shit, like-

Joe Rogan 50:20 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 50:20 ... I'm not joking, like 250 times in a week.

Joe Rogan 50:22 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 50:23 Like, like a fucking idiot.

Joe Rogan 50:24 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 50:25 I was like, "That's who's listening to this shit, that's getting a billion streams in a month. It's like fucking nine year old morons."

Joe Rogan 50:31 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 50:31 It's like, it's like our fans, our-

Joe Rogan 50:33 Ah!

Dan Auerbach 50:34 Like I, I like to think that our fans have like, you know, they've, they got like 150 albums that they listen to on a sort of rotation at least. And ours may be one of them a month. You know what I mean? So may, so it's like, it's a different fucking audience, you know what I mean? It's, I... You look at Instagram and you see these certain people who I've never even heard their music. They ha- and they have like 10 million followers.

Joe Rogan 50:58 Yeah.

Dan Auerbach 50:59 Um-

Joe Rogan 50:59 The weird thing is th- that, that there would be any comparison at all. Like why, why bother comparing-

Dan Auerbach 51:04 Well, that's exactly right.

Joe Rogan 51:05 ... you guys.

Dan Auerbach 51:05 That's exactly right. But that's the problem is that there, it, there are two different things at play, at play here. There's the music industry, industry itself, which is like, certain people who work in the industry, high ups, are like, "We need to sell records. We need to, we need like this pop producer to work with this writer and this artist, and we need streaming numbers." And then there's certain people, you know, like the old guard, like, uh, the Lenny Waronker or Seymour Stein or, you know, even s- you know, lots of younger guys too, but they're, you know, they're like, "Actually, what we're doing is curating art that we really like. And it's either gonna sell or it's not gonna sell." And a lot of the records that we grew up listening to, most of them, were records made by these kind of insanely eccentric weirdo people-

Joe Rogan 51:52 Right.

Dan Auerbach 51:52 ... that never sold records, but have cha- literally changed our lives. And, and like Captain Beefheart being one of them, uh, you know, like, uh, T- Tom Waits has, has so- has sold some records, but still, like he's, it's a much different type of commercial viable thing. But the- these artists are why we make music. You know, it has nothing to do with this shit. It's like the difference between like the Vogues, you know what I mean? And like the Fugs. It's like there's a lot of these comparisons that you can make about w- what we do. And our place in the music industry is, is, is to do what we, what we do. And, and for a while, we were taking part in like the mainstream aspects of music. You know what I mean? We were playing like the MTV Movie Awards and having these insane weird experiences only because we, we hadn't done it before and we felt like we had to do it. And I wouldn't, I wouldn't have ch- I wouldn't change anything, but at this point, like I think steer, st- steering as far away from all of that shit is, is what we wanna do right now.

Joe Rogan 52:48 Yeah, there's no reason to lump you in with anything. Like why, why would any... You know, that's one of the weird things about these award shows, right? You're lumping all these different musicians together that don't necessarily have anything to do with each other.

Dan Auerbach 52:59 No.

Joe Rogan 52:59 They just all make music.

Dan Auerbach 53:00 So check it out. It's like we played the MTV Moo- Movie Awards in ni- in 2012. We got offered to do it. We watched it when we were kids. We were in LA already. It was like, whatever. Aerosmith came out and introduced us. And now I'm thinking like, "Why would they agree to do, to be on the MTV m- m- moo- Music Awards?" Like what, what are they gonna get from that or whatever? The whole thing was kind of bizarre. You know what I mean?

Joe Rogan 53:22 Mm-hmm.

Dan Auerbach 53:22 It's all really bizarre. It's like we, they, they need to be in the spotlight or, or something, you know? And we were, we're just like, I think we kind of realized how goofy it was while we were there.

Joe Rogan 53:32 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 53:32 But we got an insane experience because we were hanging out with Johnny Depp and Joe Perry and Steven Tyler. And aft-

Joe Rogan 53:39 Whoa.

Dan Auerbach 53:39 And this is crazy 'cause af- after the, after we do this little song or whatever, we're outstage by, out backstage by those trailers. And, um, I like see Steven Tyler and Joe Perry and, and Johnny Depp talking, and we walk over 'cause we just wanna see what they're talking about. And I'm just like, look-

Joe Rogan 53:55 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 53:55 ... I'm looking at this shit, they're all wearing the craziest assess- accessories. Like they're dressed up like, you know, archetypes-

Joe Rogan 54:02 Like-

Dan Auerbach 54:02 ... of rock stars or whatever, and they're like talking about, and Steven Tyler and Joe Perry are talking about transport and how they're gonna get their arsenal across state lines. And I was like, "What?" Like they, "Yeah, man, we car- we travel with a goddamn arsenal."

Joe Rogan 54:16 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 54:16 I was like, "What?" Like, "Yeah, and AR-15s. (stutters) Like we have fucking grenades." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 54:22 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 54:22 I was like, "What?" Like, "Yeah, and AR-15s. (stutters) Like we have fucking grenades." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 54:24 (laughs) .

Dan Auerbach 54:24 I was like, "This is insane, man."

Joe Rogan 54:26 Oh my god.

Dan Auerbach 54:27 I think it's worth it, we're here today just to hear that these guys feel like they need to travel with grenades. But then I was thinking about their... Have you ever seen, have you ever seen their video game?

Joe Rogan 54:35 No.

Dan Auerbach 54:36 Dude, the Aerosmith video game.

Joe Rogan 54:37 I didn't know they had one.

Dan Auerbach 54:38 Dude, it- it...

Joe Rogan 54:39 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 54:39 If you, if you watch their video game after hearing this conversation Dan and I were privy to, you're like, "Ah."

Joe Rogan 54:44 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 54:45 "This is it. This makes complete sense," 'cause it never made sense to me. It's like the Terminator arcade game where there's like, you know-

Joe Rogan 54:51 Yeah.

Dan Auerbach 54:51 ... back in the early '90s. It's that, but it's them.

Joe Rogan 54:54 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 54:56 It's, like, uh, fucking insane. You should put the, put a clip up of that.

Joe Rogan 55:01 Here we go. This is his game?

Dan Auerbach 55:03 Yeah. (laughs) That's the hero's-

Patrick Carney 55:04 This is in- this is the play-through. This is in-

Joe Rogan 55:06 Oh, my God.

Patrick Carney 55:07 They're right, they're on stage there.

Dan Auerbach 55:08 Yeah, and then it brings up a whole nother thing, which is, like-

Joe Rogan 55:10 Oh, how weird.

Dan Auerbach 55:12 ... th- af- after the Botta- after the Botticlon shit, like, this is a real fucked up game to look at.

55:16 Yeah, seriously. Holy shit.

Joe Rogan 55:17 Ye- oh, my God, right? Yeah. When did this come out, though? This has got to be old as fuck.

Dan Auerbach 55:22 '95, '94.

55:23 '94.

Joe Rogan 55:23 Oh, my God, that's hilarious. So they're in the background playing, and then in front of them, war.

Dan Auerbach 55:31 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 55:31 Seems feasible.

Dan Auerbach 55:32 They just stuck-

55:33 Jesus.

55:33 ... Aerosmith into a game.

55:34 (laughs)

55:34 It's like-

Joe Rogan 55:35 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 55:35 It's called Cocaine Psychosis-

55:37 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 55:37 (sighs)

Dan Auerbach 55:37 ... is what it's called.

Joe Rogan 55:38 But that's, like, the worst effort ever. They just stuck them-

Dan Auerbach 55:41 (laughs) Go watch it.

Joe Rogan 55:41 ... and they don't even move.

Dan Auerbach 55:42 Look.

55:42 Good. They kidnap him.

Joe Rogan 55:44 Oh, no.

Dan Auerbach 55:44 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 55:45 Oh, hilarious. That's part of the game, they kidnap him? Oh, my God.

Dan Auerbach 55:51 Oh, man.

Joe Rogan 55:52 Wow, this is terrible. It's amazing that we, back then, we were like, "This is so radical."

Dan Auerbach 55:57 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 55:57 "Look how good the graphics are." You get used to everything. That's hilarious.

Dan Auerbach 56:05 Oh, man.

Joe Rogan 56:05 Steven Tyler's the nicest fucking guy ever.

Dan Auerbach 56:08 Yeah, yeah.

56:09 They, uh, they were really nice.

Joe Rogan 56:10 He's so sweet.

Dan Auerbach 56:10 It just, like, I didn't realize they had to travel with weapons.

Joe Rogan 56:13 I didn't know they traveled with weapons. We never discussed that.

Dan Auerbach 56:16 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 56:16 He's such a nice guy, though.

Dan Auerbach 56:18 Yeah, I met him at the Ryman in Nashville, backstage too. Uh, recently.

Joe Rogan 56:23 What a fucking great place that is.

Dan Auerbach 56:24 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 56:24 The Ry- th- that is, like, one of my all-time favorite places.

Dan Auerbach 56:27 Yeah, so cool.

Joe Rogan 56:28 You just feel the entertainment in the walls.

Dan Auerbach 56:32 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 56:32 It's like it feels like it's a building that's been entertained. You know what I mean? I mean, they did the Opry there for how many years?

Dan Auerbach 56:38 Pshh, I don't know. Years.

Joe Rogan 56:40 So many people play there, it just f- it just feels special.

Dan Auerbach 56:43 Every week there's something special going on there. It's so cool.

56:47 It is cool.

Joe Rogan 56:49 You know, it's great that you, uh, openly talk about having these panic attacks, because there are so many kids that I'm sure, who are huge fans of yours who also have panic attacks, and they can't fucking believe that you guys, it- with your level of success, could still have these little battles, you know, that we've all had. So that's so huge that you're willing to talk about that and say that. That- I'm telling you, that ha- that is definitely gonna make an impact on people.

Dan Auerbach 57:18 I th- you know, I mean, once you have it, like, the first time I ever really had a panic attack, I had one, and then I kinda didn't have another one until this moment on that st- at the- on Lollapalooza. But the first time really was in Amster- uh, on the way from Amsterdam to London, Dan bought some mushrooms.

Joe Rogan 57:35 Uh-oh.

Dan Auerbach 57:36 Um, and I- I guess they're legal there. I'd never, I didn't-

57:39 (laughs)

57:39 Dan bought 'em and brought 'em on the- we were traveling in a van at the time, and they were giant, fresh mushrooms.

Joe Rogan 57:45 (laughs) Not even dried?

Dan Auerbach 57:47 No, man, it was like a meal.

57:48 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 57:50 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 57:50 And I- and he bought 'em, he's like, "You guys, you should take some, you should take some." And I was like ...

Joe Rogan 57:53 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 57:54 I ate, like, the stem, and-

57:56 (laughs)

57:56 ... it was massive. I mean, it was like eating a burrito. And I was like ...

57:59 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 57:59 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 57:59 And after, like, 20 minutes, after 20, 30 minutes, it's like, I don't feel, I don't feel anything.

58:04 (laughs)

58:04 Dan's like, "Ah, just eat the fucking rest, man, I don't know."

58:07 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 58:09 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 58:09 I ate the rest of this thing, this massive-ass thing, and, like, I just instantly start sweating-

58:13 (laughs)

58:13 ... and it smells like portabello mushrooms-

58:16 (laughs)

58:16 ... s- seeping from my skin. And I yell, I yell out to the driver, I'm, like, starting to spin out, I'm like ...

58:21 (laughs)

58:21 I'm like, "How do, how do you get this to stop?" He turns around. He only wore black and his eye- shades on, and I thought, I really thought at the time he was, like, Satan. He's like, "Drink loads of beer."

Joe Rogan 58:33 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 58:34 (laughs)

58:34 And I was like, "What the fuck?" And then I just, like, in the back, just like, "Ugh," fucking, like, freaking out for, like, two hours. And then finally we stop. I'm like, "We got- I gotta get the fuck out of this van." This is, this was in 2003, this was a long time ago. And I-

58:48 You were white-knuckling your girl- girlfriend back.

58:51 I was like, I was like, "Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey."

58:53 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 58:53 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 58:53 And then we get out, and, like, I was like, "I just need to get some fresh air, man." And, like, uh, we stop at this gas station in Belgium, and I walk into the bathroom with Dan, and they're, like, this woman's, like, speaking in French, like, you know-

59:06 (laughs)

59:07 ... like, s- basically saying it co- ... I was like, "What the fuck? She's s- what's happening?" Dan's like, "It costs money to pee here, bro."

59:12 (laughs)

59:12 And I was like, "What?" He's like, "I know, man. Isn't that crazy?"

59:15 (laughs)

59:15 And I'm, like, fucking freaking out. And I'd- all I had was, like, €50, and I put it on the tray.

59:19 (laughs)

59:19 And Dan grabs it and puts it in my pocket and then puts, like, a nickel there, like ...

59:25 (laughs)

59:25 He's like, "Dude, it doesn't cost that much to pee."

59:27 (laughs)

59:28 And I'm like, "Ugh," and then we both start laughing at that moment, and then it- I turned the edge-

59:32 (gasps)

59:32 ... aw- from that, and it, then it was an amazing experience. We started being, like, laughing at, like, how clean their dumpster was.

59:39 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 59:39 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 59:39 Like, they had a bright ... I'm like, "Even the dumpsters here are clean."

59:43 (laughs)

59:44 It was, like, bright red, and they were like-

59:45 You could eat off it.

59:46 You could, yeah, like, we could eat, like-

59:47 (laughs)

59:47 ... you could d- really and truly dumpster dive here and be, like-

59:50 (laughs)

59:50 ... eating a regular meal in America. (laughs)

59:54 (laughs)

59:54 And, but I- but I got that panicky thing right there at the top, and I swear that shit opened it up for me, man.

59:58 There was no natural light in the back of the van also. All the windows had this-

Joe Rogan 1:00:02 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 1:00:02 ... really dark, dark tint, black tint.

Joe Rogan 1:00:04 Oh.

Dan Auerbach 1:00:05 So we were just in this panic van. You know?

Joe Rogan 1:00:07 Yeah, you needed to get outside.

Dan Auerbach 1:00:09 You know, it's dark. Yeah. I remember when the sliding door went open, it was like when they went into Willy Wonka's place.

Joe Rogan 1:00:14 Yeah.

Dan Auerbach 1:00:14 Yeah. All the light came in, and ...

1:00:16 Yeah.

1:00:16 And then it seemed like ... It was crazy, 'cause when we got back in the van three fucking hours later, like, our driver's like, "Dude, we gotta go." I was like, "We've been here for 20 minutes." He's like, "It's been three hours-"

1:00:27 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:00:27 Oh my God.

Dan Auerbach 1:00:27 "... of you guys look- la- talking about this dumpster."

Joe Rogan 1:00:30 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 1:00:30 (laughs)

1:00:30 And I was like, "No way."

Joe Rogan 1:00:33 (clapping)

Dan Auerbach 1:00:33 (laughs)

1:00:33 So we, we get back in, and Dan's ... Dan, like, outta nowhere, his girlfriend I guess maybe had the, at the time, he was like, "Do you want some bubble gum?" And it, uh, for ... Uh, we'd been on tour for a month, and I'd never seen this bag. It was, like, a trash bag full of gumballs.

1:00:46 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:00:46 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 1:00:46 And I was like, "Oh my God, what the fuck's happening?"

1:00:49 (laughs)

1:00:49 He's like, "Let's listen to some music, man." And so he put on NWA, and I was like ... We both started laughing. I was like, 'cause it sounded like-... Fisher-Price music.

Joe Rogan 1:00:59 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 1:01:00 Like, so plastic and brittle, and like (singing) . I was like, "This is so bad. This is so awful." And then, he put on Captain Beefheart: Safe As Milk, and it was, like, the most incredible sounding record I'd ever heard. It was fucking insane. But it was that experience that first opened up me ever experiencing that, like, "What the fuck's happening?" Like, kind of fight or flight, but for no reason, panic attack thing. (breathes deeply) And I think, yeah, I- I- I- I deal with it mostly, but I just, uh, when I'm on stage I still get them occasionally. If I come in too fast or something.

Joe Rogan 1:01:36 Are you saying that it was started from that trip?

Dan Auerbach 1:01:38 It's the first time I've ever felt it, man.

Joe Rogan 1:01:40 Wow. Do you think you broke something in there?

Dan Auerbach 1:01:43 I just think I took way too much.

Joe Rogan 1:01:45 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 1:01:45 I'm really sensitive to, I'm really sensitive to getting high, like-

Joe Rogan 1:01:48 Yeah.

Dan Auerbach 1:01:48 ... I- I just, it's not in my system. It's not, it's not for me.

Joe Rogan 1:01:52 You seem like you coulda been a comic.

Dan Auerbach 1:01:55 Mm...

Joe Rogan 1:01:56 Have you ever thought about being a comic?

Dan Auerbach 1:01:58 I don't think I, I could. I, I like bullshitting though. But I definitely, I know, I know that-

Joe Rogan 1:02:02 No, you, you say funny shit, man. You have funny observations, and you-

Dan Auerbach 1:02:05 Well, thanks.

Joe Rogan 1:02:06 You have a mean streak. (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 1:02:07 I'm a, I'm Dan's, I'm Dan's personal comic.

Joe Rogan 1:02:10 That's basically it.

Dan Auerbach 1:02:11 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:02:11 Yeah, he is a comic.

Dan Auerbach 1:02:13 But, yeah. Th- you think that that was the first one, and then from then, it, maybe has opened up the door? And because you had one, it makes it easier to have another one? Is that how it wo- it works?

Joe Rogan 1:02:24 Well, I was exhausted that day.

Dan Auerbach 1:02:26 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:02:26 Because when we were kid- we were kids partying, or I was. I'd never been to Europe, really. We were in Amsterdam. I smoked weed the night before, which I don't do, and we were drinking. And I barely got any sleep, so I was super shitty feeling. So every time I'm, like, basically tired, I'm more prone to that shit. And it, uh, happens, like, at the airport, you know? Like, the airport, to me, early morning flights are just, it ... Always kind of a rel- like that. Where it's really hectic and, like, everything's fucking moving around, and you're tired. And you're like, "Fuck, this is a fucking miserable." Um, and festivals. Sometimes they're so crowded, and, like, ugh. But, no, I haven't had 'em, I haven't had a problem with them, really. But the, the hypnotism shit worked, so. Yeah, it's legit, if you can get a good one.

Dan Auerbach 1:03:12 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:03:12 A good person who can hypnotize you can put you in a state of mind and sort of change your course, just give you a little adjustment, adjustment in your perception, how you look at things. It feels like you're in, like, a little bit of a tunnel. It's very strange, right?

Dan Auerbach 1:03:24 It is, it is strange. I think it's like when people go see, like, a life coach? Maybe that's what they're looking for.

Joe Rogan 1:03:31 Yeah, a hypnotist.

Dan Auerbach 1:03:32 Is some, some positive-

Joe Rogan 1:03:33 Yeah.

Dan Auerbach 1:03:33 ... reinforcement.

Joe Rogan 1:03:35 Yeah, I think it, it just gets in there better. It's like it, the, gets into the operating system better than a guy going, "What you need to do, Pat-"

Dan Auerbach 1:03:42 Yeah. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:03:43 ... "is prioritize."

Dan Auerbach 1:03:44 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:03:44 "Okay?"

Dan Auerbach 1:03:44 It's like when, it's like when you're looking at Instagram or something. It's like, "Man, I'm just so happy." It, I don't know, there's, there's, there's people who kind of have, like, this cult-

Joe Rogan 1:03:50 Yeah.

Dan Auerbach 1:03:50 ... type of mentality on Instagram. There's a whole, there's a whole scene there-

Joe Rogan 1:03:55 Mm-hmm.

Dan Auerbach 1:03:55 ... of, like, self-help, like-

Joe Rogan 1:03:56 Mm-hmm.

Dan Auerbach 1:03:57 ... man, just, like, gotta center yourself.

Joe Rogan 1:03:58 Yeah.

Dan Auerbach 1:03:58 It's like every o- every one of these kids, like, went to a boarding school-

Joe Rogan 1:04:02 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 1:04:02 ... and, like, has disappointed their parents, (laughs) like ...

Joe Rogan 1:04:05 Well, giving people advice exclusively-

Dan Auerbach 1:04:08 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:04:08 ... as a way to live.

Dan Auerbach 1:04:09 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:04:09 It's just a strange way to go. You know? You gotta do things too, like, a lot of things.

Dan Auerbach 1:04:15 Yeah, you have to, and it can't just be, "Have dreadlocks."

Joe Rogan 1:04:17 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 1:04:18 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:04:18 Well, sometimes people think that the message is all that's important. That is, that is most of what's important. But what's important is, like, "Well, how did you start doing this? Did you just-"

Dan Auerbach 1:04:27 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:04:27 "... decide to be a motivational guy? And have you done anything else?"

Dan Auerbach 1:04:30 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:04:30 "No? Right out of school motivational guy. That seems, uh, like, are you just repeating shit? Do you really know that much about how to get your act together? Or are, are you just kinda ..." You know, there's, like, a business.

Dan Auerbach 1:04:42 There's a lot of repeating shit, man.

Joe Rogan 1:04:43 Yeah.

Dan Auerbach 1:04:43 A lot of repeating shit.

Joe Rogan 1:04:44 And, and I've repeated it myself.

Dan Auerbach 1:04:46 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:04:46 I've, like, I've said things myself w- that are motivational things that I've heard oth- other people say. And it's, you know, 'cause they're real. It's, it's effective. You, you can help people. But if that's all you're doing, it's a little suspect.

Dan Auerbach 1:05:00 Yeah, it's also when someo-

Joe Rogan 1:05:02 (coughs)

Dan Auerbach 1:05:02 ... when someone has a s- a continuous message that's always the same and it's always positive, it makes me really suspect. 'Cause I'm like-

Joe Rogan 1:05:10 I love the self-help guy on the Metallica documentary who was offering the lyrics as suggestions. (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 1:05:14 Yeah. (laughs) That's the best movie ever made, probably, about music.

Joe Rogan 1:05:17 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 1:05:17 It's like, it beats Spinal Tap. It's like, if there was a competition-

Joe Rogan 1:05:21 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 1:05:21 ... I have to come down on some kinda monster.

Joe Rogan 1:05:24 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 1:05:24 It made me actually like the b- w- I mean, it made me as a f- fan appreciate those guys in a weird way. Their dysfunction.

Joe Rogan 1:05:33 Mm-hmm.

Dan Auerbach 1:05:33 Like, they became characters. W- at one time, I'll watch the movie and be like, "Oh, man, like, Lars is so annoying."

Joe Rogan 1:05:41 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 1:05:41 And then I'll watch it again, like, like, I'll still think Lars is annoying, but I'll, like, I'll still think he's right, or, or so... I, I have a different view every time I watch it.

Joe Rogan 1:05:49 Yeah.

Dan Auerbach 1:05:50 But ultimately, I do, I am, I just, I end up liking those guys because of it more.

Joe Rogan 1:05:54 He stepped out in a big way with that Napster thing. It was, it was an odd moment for everyone, 'cause everyone was trying to figure out: What is this file-sharing thing?

Dan Auerbach 1:06:04 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:06:04 How's it gonna af- And then the music business, you guys felt it first. Like, you guys were the big hit more than anything, 'cause y- it's not the same to watch a movie on your TV. Even if you can download an illegal movie, I'm sure it'll have a little bit of a hit, but people wanna go to the fucking movie theater. But with your shit, they can, once it s- starts, people start sharing things, you can just, you just get a file. And everybody kinda just assumed that, "Well, I mean, this is, like, this new frontier, and it's not