Joe Rogan Experience #1355 - Mark Normand

Mark Normand 0:00 Pen, Pen Gillette said that.

Joe Rogan 0:02 Pen Gillette told you that it's fort, not forte?

Mark Normand 0:04 Yeah. And he's, he don't, I don't fuck with-

Joe Rogan 0:06 He's, he's a well-read man.

Mark Normand 0:07 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 0:08 He's, uh, he was just on.

Narrator 0:10 (laughs)

Mark Normand 0:10 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 0:11 He's an interesting cat. Is that true? Is he correct, Jamie?

Narrator 0:14 There's, uh-

Joe Rogan 0:14 There's a little thing over the E, right?

Narrator 0:15 He gives two pronunciations for it.

Mark Normand 0:16 Ah.

Joe Rogan 0:17 Ah.

Narrator 0:17 One is forte, like, f- yeah, how she wants.

Joe Rogan 0:19 Well, that's like the word literally. You know, the, the term literally has, we've actually changed the meaning because so many people used it wrong.

Mark Normand 0:26 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 0:26 Okay, for-

Narrator 0:28 Forte with the A right there, to-

Joe Rogan 0:31 Uh-huh.

Narrator 0:32 ... f- I don't know.

Mark Normand 0:33 And then, well, the A is first.

Joe Rogan 0:34 And fort.

Narrator 0:35 And then they'll pronounce that O.

Joe Rogan 0:36 Interesting. So there's two different ones. Huh.

Mark Normand 0:39 But it might be like selfie, how it just creates itself over a while, you know?

Joe Rogan 0:42 Yeah. A thing that someone excels at. Small talk was not his forté or fort.

Mark Normand 0:49 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 0:49 Well, maybe fort was original and then someone kept fucking it up, like tumeric.

Mark Normand 0:55 Yeah, turmeric.

Joe Rogan 0:56 It's just, yeah. I, we were just talking about how tumeric has an R in there. It's T-U-R, which I didn't know at all until, um, Laird Hamilton put his coffee machine in here. Did you just turn the volume down? Which one did you do?

Mark Normand 1:10 Oh, sorry. Is that my mic?

Joe Rogan 1:12 'Cause I just want, 'cause it's the main one.

Mark Normand 1:12 Am I high, am I hit? Cans are a little hot.

Joe Rogan 1:15 Yeah, I'll turn it down.

Mark Normand 1:16 Oh, I appreciate it, sir.

Joe Rogan 1:16 You can just hear really- is that better?

Mark Normand 1:17 Yeah, sure. I gotta stop touching stuff.

Joe Rogan 1:19 You sound really good to hear stuff. Maybe, uh-

Mark Normand 1:19 I get crazy ears.

Joe Rogan 1:21 Pat Carney likes to hear himself loud when he talks shit.

Narrator 1:23 (laughs)

Mark Normand 1:23 He's gotta have, uh, some hearing problems. He's a drummer.

Joe Rogan 1:27 Oh, yeah.

Mark Normand 1:28 Rock star.

Joe Rogan 1:28 Oh, yeah.

Mark Normand 1:28 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:28 Rock star, drummer, all those guys go deaf, right?

Narrator 1:30 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:30 Or they have issues. The, well, the, that's the dude from AC/DC, the lead singer. He can't sing anymore, right? Because his ears are just shot. That's awful, man.

Mark Normand 1:39 Yeah. Every song sounds the same.

Joe Rogan 1:42 They're the best.

Mark Normand 1:43 Ah, I don't know about the best.

Joe Rogan 1:44 Come on, bro.

Mark Normand 1:45 I don't know, man, I like them. They're fun.

Joe Rogan 1:46 The fucking best.

Mark Normand 1:47 I don't know about the best.

Joe Rogan 1:48 Well, they are an iconic band.

Mark Normand 1:51 I'll give you that. I like the-

Joe Rogan 1:52 Their songs, there's certain songs, I'm on the highway to hell.

Mark Normand 1:56 Yeah, they're great road trip, video game songs-

Joe Rogan 1:59 Yes.

Mark Normand 1:59 But I feel like they kind of bleed together.

Joe Rogan 2:02 Hmm, a little bit. There's a sound. They have an AC/DC sound for sure.

Mark Normand 2:07 Sure, oh yeah.

Joe Rogan 2:08 Yeah.

Mark Normand 2:08 It's all one sound.

Joe Rogan 2:10 Yeah. But, but, you know.

Mark Normand 2:12 But, but back to turmeric.

Joe Rogan 2:14 (laughs)

Mark Normand 2:14 Can I say that, that, uh, you know how like the Middle East, there's not a lot of funny people out there? It's not, that's not a big part of their culture is comedy in the Middle East. And Seinfeld thinks it's 'cause we have a love of language. He thinks that's why Americans and British people are really funny, 'cause it's a, we think about the words.

Joe Rogan 2:33 Hmm.

Mark Normand 2:34 I don't think they're... Same with German. Not a lot of German ha ha, you know what I mean?

Joe Rogan 2:38 Well, we had a German comic that was big in Germany that came to the store and was here for a couple of years trying to make-

Mark Normand 2:44 Did he suck?

Joe Rogan 2:45 He didn't suck, but he was real, he was, it was all physical. Like, apparently-

Mark Normand 2:48 Exactly.

Joe Rogan 2:49 In Germany, he's huge, but it was all, like, slipping on stage and-

Mark Normand 2:53 Ah, come on.

Joe Rogan 2:53 ... pratfalls. (laughs)

Mark Normand 2:54 Yeah, come on. We can do better than that. We got words. The words are the, the interesting part, the, what you say, the writing.

Joe Rogan 3:00 You know what's a thing that people don't consider? Those pratfall guys-

Mark Normand 3:04 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 3:04 Are always in pain. They're always hurt.

Mark Normand 3:07 That's true. But so are we, mentally.

Joe Rogan 3:09 Well, always... Yeah, but in a physical way. I think, I was always wondering about Chevy Chase 'cause you know Chevy Chase is s- supposed to be kind of grumpy.

Mark Normand 3:15 Yeah. I've heard that.

Joe Rogan 3:16 Yeah. He's-

Mark Normand 3:17 Heard he's a dick.

Joe Rogan 3:17 I've heard he's, he gets real grumpy. And I wonder if the dude is just in constant pain.

Mark Normand 3:22 Hmm.

Joe Rogan 3:23 Because you know how m- remember how many times he used to fall down? Like, he fell down all the time on Saturday Night Live.

Mark Normand 3:28 Did he?

Joe Rogan 3:29 Yeah, yeah, yeah. In Fletch, the, the, the-

Mark Normand 3:31 Huh.

Joe Rogan 3:31 The, uh, detective movie.

Mark Normand 3:32 Yeah, yeah, I remember.

Joe Rogan 3:33 He, he pratfalled all the time, like, wicked hard falls where-

Mark Normand 3:37 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 3:37 It was clearly him.

Mark Normand 3:39 Wow. I didn't know he was a fall guy. You know, Buster Keaton, he's, like, so underrated. He broke his back and didn't realize it, and the doctor was like, "So when'd you break your back?" You know, he's got that crazy story.

Joe Rogan 3:50 Hmm.

Mark Normand 3:50 Uh, like, that guy fell all day long.

Joe Rogan 3:53 I think it was his neck, in fact.

Mark Normand 3:55 Was it neck? Was it neck?

Joe Rogan 3:56 Yeah. Someone br- just brought this up on the show, didn't they, Jamie? Didn't somebody just talk about that? It was just a few episodes ago, I believe.

Mark Normand 4:02 Oh, maybe, but he's, he's, like, not really brought up a lot.

Joe Rogan 4:05 Right.

Mark Normand 4:05 He's fucking crazy how ballsy he was and how innovative he was. He would do stuff, like, he would draw, he... I remember one of his gags, he would paint on a wall a hook and then hang his hat on it.

Joe Rogan 4:15 Yeah, this one here is-

Mark Normand 4:17 I mean, like-

Joe Rogan 4:17 Who brought it up, Jamie?

Narrator 4:18 Yeah, I'm trying to think. My-

Joe Rogan 4:18 Was it Penn? Might've been Penn.

Narrator 4:20 Might've been him or yeah, maybe Gaffigan, he would-

Mark Normand 4:22 L- look at, I mean, it's all bits.

Joe Rogan 4:24 Yeah.

Mark Normand 4:24 Like, that's clever shit. This is, like-

Joe Rogan 4:26 That's amazing shit.

Mark Normand 4:27 ... 19 what? 24?

Narrator 4:29 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 4:29 Yeah, I mean, that, that, just right there is amazing.

Mark Normand 4:31 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 4:32 Jumping through that person.

Mark Normand 4:33 And, I mean, you could do this all day. It's all clever and it's all redone a million times, but he did it first.

Joe Rogan 4:38 Wow. And there was no one before him, right? So there's no-

Mark Normand 4:41 No.

Joe Rogan 4:41 No guidebook.

Mark Normand 4:43 Yeah, and everything ends in a punch. It all, it always pays off. There's no weak ones. And he just, sometimes he would just try it. And I heard an interview with him, and he was like, "Yeah, I would just go for it." And sometimes he would be in midair and he'd think of another thing, and then he'd do that before he hit the ground. I mean, it's brilliant guy. Check him out if you don't know him.

Joe Rogan 5:02 And he's, right now we're watching a video with him running over the top of a train, and he's-

Mark Normand 5:06 And I-

Joe Rogan 5:06 Clearly really doing it.

Mark Normand 5:07 Yeah, he's really doing it, he's gonna do something with that hook. There it is. Wait for it, wait for it. And then, come on.

Joe Rogan 5:14 Wow.

Narrator 5:15 The water is what broke his neck.

Mark Normand 5:17 No.

Joe Rogan 5:17 Oh, that's right.

Mark Normand 5:17 Is that right?

Narrator 5:18 That's what the video, that's what the video says.

Joe Rogan 5:19 Yeah, that he, he underestimated the force of the water coming out of it 'cause, like, think about how much weight there is-

Mark Normand 5:26 Right.

Joe Rogan 5:26 Behind that water. I mean, it's like a, like, waterfalls.

Mark Normand 5:29 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 5:29 Like, if you jumped off of the Niagara Falls and hit the bottom, what would kill you? I mean, it might just be the force of the water hitting you against the rocks.

Mark Normand 5:37 Right, right.

Joe Rogan 5:37 Because I think that's what happened with him, like, he got hit so hard. I believe it was Penn 'cause-

Mark Normand 5:42 Hmm.

Narrator 5:42 It might've been. I couldn't double check, but-

Joe Rogan 5:44 Yeah, but it, whoever it was.

Mark Normand 5:46 Well, that, that-

Joe Rogan 5:47 They, they were just explaining it was the weight of the water he underestimated.

Mark Normand 5:51 ... that kinda kills the whole fucking in the waterfall scenes in every movie.

Joe Rogan 5:54 Dude, it does.

Mark Normand 5:55 You would, that would ruin it. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 5:57 You'd get pummeled. Imagine, like, you're headed up there and it's your idea, and she slips and bashes her brains out against the rocks-

Mark Normand 6:05 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 6:05 ... just 'cause it was your stupid idea. She's like, "Let's just do it right here."

Mark Normand 6:08 Right. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 6:08 "No, let's go to the waterfall." And you're so stupid, you don't understand how much force is coming down.

Mark Normand 6:13 Yeah. Yeah, that was a hot scene in Cocktail.

Joe Rogan 6:15 Was it?

Mark Normand 6:16 Oh, yeah. The Eli- I believe it's Elizabeth Shue, they fuck in the Jamaican waterfall.

Joe Rogan 6:20 Oh.

Mark Normand 6:21 I'm a big... I, I had no cable as a kid, so we would just watch everything that came on.

Joe Rogan 6:26 Do you remember that movie with Elisabeth Shue and Nicholas Cage, where he drinks-

Mark Normand 6:30 Leaving Las Vegas?

Joe Rogan 6:31 Yeah. Drinks himself to death.

Mark Normand 6:32 Yeah, of course.

Joe Rogan 6:32 And gets a boner at the very end.

Mark Normand 6:34 Of course.

Joe Rogan 6:35 Like, "What?"

Mark Normand 6:36 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 6:37 (laughs)

Mark Normand 6:37 That's a good drunk guy thing, I mean, those random drunk boners.

Joe Rogan 6:40 (laughs)

Mark Normand 6:41 We've all been there.

Joe Rogan 6:42 Here it is, Cocktail scene.

Mark Normand 6:44 There it is.

Joe Rogan 6:45 Waterfall.

Mark Normand 6:45 This is all, this is my whole childhood, just these weird '80s movies on VHS.

Joe Rogan 6:51 They were weird.

Mark Normand 6:52 Somebody raised a good point about how we have so many op... Like, I'm dating a lady who's a little younger than me. She's about 14. And she's, uh, always... Like, I'll bring up a movie, like Ghostbusters. She's like, "Never seen it." Godfather, "Never seen it." I'm like, "Don't you care, or you, don't you wanna see that?" And she's like, "I've never seen it. That was bor-... It w-... Came out before my time." And I'm like, "Yeah, but I know about the '70s and the '60s. Why do I know about that?"

Joe Rogan 7:14 Hmm.

Mark Normand 7:15 I know about the f-... I know about Buster Keaton. Why do the younger people now, they only go forward. They don't go back at all. Have you noticed that?

Joe Rogan 7:23 Yeah, I think they're inundated with too much stuff.

Mark Normand 7:25 I guess so.

Joe Rogan 7:26 Think about it. They got Hulu, they got Amazon, they got Netflix. They're streaming things-

Mark Normand 7:30 Right.

Joe Rogan 7:30 ... constantly. They're doing TikTok and Instagram-

Mark Normand 7:32 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 7:33 ... and everybody's checking social media. To force a kid to sit down and watch, you know, National Lampoon's Family Vacation. Good luck.

Mark Normand 7:41 I know, but it's good.

Joe Rogan 7:42 It's great. It's great. I don't think they do that as much.

Mark Normand 7:46 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 7:46 I think a lot of kids are playing video games-

Mark Normand 7:48 Sure.

Joe Rogan 7:49 ... and they're streaming things, and YouTube-

Mark Normand 7:52 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 7:53 ... is giant for them.

Mark Normand 7:53 It's vast.

Joe Rogan 7:54 Giant.

Mark Normand 7:54 You can never s- suck it all up. But here's the, here's the clinker, is, they're missing out on a lot... I watched The Office with her, and she's missing references to a fucking Indiana Jones joke.

Joe Rogan 8:05 Ah.

Mark Normand 8:05 And I'm like, "You like this show, but, you know-"

Joe Rogan 8:08 That's interesting.

Mark Normand 8:08 "... you, you missed that joke." And then I gotta explain it to her, and she's like, "Who's that?" I'm like, "It's Harrison Ford. He was a this, he was an archeologist." She's, "Archeology? That sounds terrible." I'm like, "No, it was fun," you know.

Joe Rogan 8:19 My nine-year-old watches these little, uh, videos on YouTube where they blend things. These kids get together, and they're silly and they're laughing. It's so dumb. And they blend things. But it's dumb because I'm 52.

Mark Normand 8:31 Right.

Joe Rogan 8:31 All right? If I was nine, it would be awesome. Like, for her, it's awesome. Like, she's really enjoying it. She's laughing. It's like, it's not fake laughing. She watches them whether or not you tell her to or not. She's interested in it.

Mark Normand 8:42 Like, in a blender?

Joe Rogan 8:43 Yeah, they just throw food in a blender and try to drink it. It's, it was so-

Mark Normand 8:46 Wow.

Joe Rogan 8:47 It was so dumb.

Mark Normand 8:47 That's it?

Joe Rogan 8:48 It's so dumb. And they're being silly and, you know, things slip out of their hands, and then they s- show a slow-mo of the thing slipping out of their hand. Like, it is inane. All right? It- it- it's just made for nine-year-olds by people who are, like, odd-

Mark Normand 9:01 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 9:01 ... and 18 and 19.

Mark Normand 9:02 And I bet it's got millions of views.

Joe Rogan 9:04 Millions of views.

Mark Normand 9:05 That's the... You can't predict. "I'm trying to write the best joke ever, put this video out. This is the funniest video." Nobody cares, and then you, you fart on a, on a taco salad and that goes viral.

Joe Rogan 9:15 Well, do you know the makeup artist, uh, drama that took place on YouTube? Do you know about all that?

Mark Normand 9:21 N- no.

Joe Rogan 9:21 I got roped into that too because of my kids. There was this-

Mark Normand 9:24 That's good, though. You're seeing new shit.

Joe Rogan 9:25 ... guy. Yes. There's this young homosexual fellow who has makeup tutorials.

Mark Normand 9:30 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 9:31 And he got into, uh, some sort of a public scrap with his mentor.

Mark Normand 9:35 James?

Joe Rogan 9:36 Yes.

Mark Normand 9:36 Something?

Joe Rogan 9:37 Something.

Mark Normand 9:37 I did hear about this.

Joe Rogan 9:38 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. This, this guy.

Mark Normand 9:40 Wow, he's good.

Joe Rogan 9:41 Look, the videos are fucking entertaining.

Mark Normand 9:44 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 9:44 It's, it's quite hilarious. And he got in a, a scrap with that person, right?

Narrator 9:49 Yes.

Joe Rogan 9:49 Yes. And, you know, it was a lot of, a lot of terrible things were said. But it was, uh... I had, you know... I'm like, "What is happening here?" So I'm like, "What does he, what does he do?" He just, he does makeup tutorials, and I'm watching these makeup tutorials. They are oddly entertaining.

Mark Normand 10:03 Yeah. Well, if it, if it's impressive-

Joe Rogan 10:05 Yeah.

Mark Normand 10:05 ... anything is good, you know.

Joe Rogan 10:07 But this, the thing is, like, networks missed sloppy but entertaining. They missed that.

Mark Normand 10:13 Hmm.

Joe Rogan 10:14 Everything was done well. Everything ended-

Mark Normand 10:17 Polished.

Joe Rogan 10:17 ... with a laugh track.

Mark Normand 10:18 Right.

Joe Rogan 10:19 They missed, there's, there's a whole avenue.

Mark Normand 10:22 Good call.

Joe Rogan 10:23 You know what I'm saying?

Mark Normand 10:23 Yeah, well, look at me. I'm on the fucking Fallon. I'm wearing a suit. I don't wear a suit, but they make you wear one.

Joe Rogan 10:28 Yeah, they make you wear one.

Mark Normand 10:29 They, they, they take the, the, the gritty off of everything, and the gritty's the good.

Joe Rogan 10:33 Well, you is the good. The who you really are is the good.

Mark Normand 10:35 Who you really are, yeah.

Joe Rogan 10:36 Who you really are.

Mark Normand 10:37 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 10:37 When you want someone to conform, at least aesthetically, to who you'd like them to be. Like, what are we doing here?

Mark Normand 10:43 It's all shit.

Joe Rogan 10:44 L- let the guy wear a fucking T-shirt. Who gives a shit?

Mark Normand 10:46 Right. We sh-

Joe Rogan 10:46 Why does it matter?

Mark Normand 10:47 We shoulda learned that when... Remember when you were a kid and Bloopers came on? It was the fucking greatest thing ever.

Joe Rogan 10:52 Yes. Yes.

Mark Normand 10:53 But we, we went, "Ah, they're bloopers. What are you gonna do?" But that was, that was... We shoulda held onto that. We shoulda gone towards the bloop.

Joe Rogan 10:58 Well, America's Funniest Home Videos was the original YouTube.

Mark Normand 11:01 That's right.

Joe Rogan 11:02 Right?

Mark Normand 11:03 Kicked in the balls by a Shetland pony.

Joe Rogan 11:05 I mean, that was, that was it.

Mark Normand 11:07 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 11:07 That's, that's what everybody realized they wanted to see people get kicked by animals.

Narrator 11:12 The way they run the show now, you submit a YouTube link to them and they just take it from YouTube and put it on the show.

Mark Normand 11:18 Wow.

Narrator 11:18 It's still on TV, but-

Joe Rogan 11:19 It's on TV, but it's YouTube clips.

Narrator 11:21 Yeah, on YouTube.

Joe Rogan 11:21 That's hilarious. They just gave up.

Mark Normand 11:22 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 11:22 They tapped out. (laughs)

Mark Normand 11:25 (laughs) They gave in to their maker.

Joe Rogan 11:26 (clapping hands) (gasps) They tapped.

Mark Normand 11:27 That's hilarious.

Joe Rogan 11:28 They tapped.

Mark Normand 11:29 No, that was Danny Tanner, who was a dirty comic. Or not D-... Uh, Bob Saget, sorry.

Joe Rogan 11:35 Yes. Yeah, but that's his stage name, right? That was his name in the show, wasn't it?

Mark Normand 11:38 That wa-... That was his Full House name.

Joe Rogan 11:39 The Full House name.

Mark Normand 11:40 Yeah, Sa-

Joe Rogan 11:40 Yeah, Saget was a dirty comic.

Mark Normand 11:42 Yeah, filthy.

Joe Rogan 11:42 Still is. I mean, he is now. Uh, but I- I think he probably had to take some time off while he was doing the show, right? He didn't do any specials or anything.

Narrator 11:50 Remember America's Funniest People? What was the difference?

Joe Rogan 11:52 (laughs)

Mark Normand 11:52 Oh, yeah. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 11:54 It's a spinoff. They needed more time slots to dominate.

Mark Normand 11:58 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 11:58 (laughs)

Mark Normand 11:58 They were probably getting tons and tons of tapes. They had to put them on another show.

Joe Rogan 12:01 They have animal ones too, right?The difference is-

Mark Normand 12:04 Hmm.

Joe Rogan 12:04 ... that's why they can't compete with YouTube, because YouTube shows nine-year-old girls getting launched into the air by bison-

Mark Normand 12:09 Right.

Joe Rogan 12:09 ... in Yellowstone Park, like really getting launched.

Mark Normand 12:12 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 12:12 And you're like, "Holy fuck."

Mark Normand 12:15 Yeah, this is the TV unclean version. It's a guy getting hit by-

Joe Rogan 12:18 Yes.

Mark Normand 12:18 ... a car or, you know-

Joe Rogan 12:19 Yeah.

Mark Normand 12:19 ... a knife, knife wound, fist fight.

Joe Rogan 12:21 You can watch all sorts of, like, cartel shootouts-

Mark Normand 12:24 Yeah. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 12:24 ... on YouTub- on YouTube.

Mark Normand 12:26 But yeah, you can't say, you know, some weird right-wing joke.

Joe Rogan 12:31 Right.

Mark Normand 12:31 Isn't that funny how it's the words we're all about now? Like, that's what I never got about, like, if I do a pedophilia joke, everybody's up my ass, but we'll all get around the campfire to watch the Michael Jackson doc.

Joe Rogan 12:42 Yeah.

Mark Normand 12:43 Like, that happened. He's, he's splitting your as- he's talking about splitting a kid's ass cheek apart, and everybody's like, "This is crazy." But the joke that some comic tells bothers people. I find that odd.

Joe Rogan 12:53 Well, I think both those things bother people, for sure. I mean, the reason why the documentary was made was because people were bothered by it.

Mark Normand 12:59 I know, but they're, they're excited to watch. It's like a f-

Joe Rogan 13:02 Yeah, for sure.

Mark Normand 13:02 ... cultural phenomena, where like-

Joe Rogan 13:03 Well, we-

Mark Normand 13:03 ... "This is gonna be big, big show tonight."

Joe Rogan 13:05 Well, it's the-

Mark Normand 13:06 Popcorn.

Joe Rogan 13:06 ... we knew, we know something was really wrong with Michael Jackson, you know?

Mark Normand 13:12 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 13:12 Something was, something was really wrong. There was never anybody quite like him that was from a tiny little boy ... Like, how old was Elvis when he got famous? Probably like 20 or something, right?

Mark Normand 13:24 Yeah. Maybe later.

Joe Rogan 13:25 And that was probably the biggest thing that had ever happened in pop music before Michael Jackson, but Michael Jackson was the first that we ever saw that was a baby, when he was on ... << ABC. >>

Mark Normand 13:37 Right.

Joe Rogan 13:38 << It's easy as one, two. >> He was a little kid.

Mark Normand 13:40 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 13:40 He was dancing around with his beautiful afro, and then we watched him become a grown man, one of the biggest superstars in the world, and we watched him go insane.

Mark Normand 13:48 Sure.

Joe Rogan 13:49 We knew he, w- anybody who got that much plastic surgery, you know they're insane.

Mark Normand 13:53 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 13:53 You know something's really wrong.

Mark Normand 13:55 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 13:55 So we all knew it. So when the, the s- sex accusations, the pedophilia accusations happened, of course everyone's gonna wanna tune in. It's not like, you know ... It's, it's an, a human oddity-

Mark Normand 14:08 Right.

Joe Rogan 14:08 ... as much as it is celebrity gossip. It's a-

Mark Normand 14:11 I agree, but what is it about jokes that really bother people? More than a movie. You know, you could have a movie rape, but if a-

Joe Rogan 14:18 Yeah.

Mark Normand 14:18 ... a joke-

Joe Rogan 14:19 Right.

Mark Normand 14:19 ... y- you can really graphically show the rape.

Joe Rogan 14:22 Yes.

Mark Normand 14:22 Everything. The whole thing's acted out.

Joe Rogan 14:24 In a movie.

Mark Normand 14:24 And then you always hear these actresses later, like, "It was pretty appalling. I had to, like, cry in the trailer after," and all that, and we're like, "All right, you won an Oscar." But this guy in a nightclub talked about this rape, he's, uh, he's evil. I don't know. I- I'm, I'm not ... I don't tell ... You know, I'm not a big rape joke guy. I'm just saying, like, it's weird. There's something about jokes that really crawls up people's sphincter and, and-

Joe Rogan 14:47 Because it sounds-

Mark Normand 14:48 ... pisses 'em off.

Joe Rogan 14:48 ... one of the things is it sounds like you're just talking. Right? If you're, if you are g- if you got a movie, and in the movie you play some serial killer and, you know, they've, they've, you know, prepared the scene for you, you're ready, y- w- you're wearing the clothes they told you to wear. You're-

Mark Normand 15:03 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 15:03 ... you're doing the lines in the script. We all-

Mark Normand 15:06 We all agreed on it.

Joe Rogan 15:06 ... know that this ... We all agree that this is a dramatic interpretation. I don't know what you're doing when you're doing standup. Some people are just being, doing satire, right?

Mark Normand 15:14 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 15:14 Like some people are pretending to be racist, p- pretending to be, uh, a Republican asshole-

Mark Normand 15:19 Right.

Joe Rogan 15:19 ... or repre- but they're, it's just a character.

Mark Normand 15:21 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 15:21 We've ... There's a bunch of guys who do stuff like that. Or some people are, uh, you know, some people are sarcastic. Some people a- are like Jeselnik. They say the worst shit-

Mark Normand 15:29 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 15:30 ... and it's always hilarious.

Mark Normand 15:31 I love him.

Joe Rogan 15:32 I love him too, and what he's doing is he's, he's ... That's not who he is. These are great jokes.

Mark Normand 15:37 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 15:37 You know, these ... He's not really lighting the maternity ward on fire.

Mark Normand 15:41 Sure.

Joe Rogan 15:41 It's just the name of his special, right? It's like ... So there's a bunch of different kinds of c- And then there's other people that just fucking tell the truth, man. There's other people when they'll talk about all the weird shit in their personal life. They'll talk about anything.

Mark Normand 15:53 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 15:53 And you go, "Oh, well, this is j- just a funny guy who's great at telling the truth." So it's like when you say, like, they're jokes, okay, but everybody does it different.

Mark Normand 16:02 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 16:02 You know?

Mark Normand 16:03 But-

Joe Rogan 16:03 And the problem is it sound- This is the real problem for people who aren't stand-ups. We're stand-ups, it makes sense to us. People who are fans of stand-up, it makes sense to them, but to regular folks who are getting mad, it seems like you're just talking.

Mark Normand 16:16 Yeah, but why do we buy the Jeselnik, but we don't buy the other guy?

Joe Rogan 16:19 'Cause it's culturally convenient.

Mark Normand 16:21 Hmm. What do you mean?

Joe Rogan 16:23 Well, some guys are better at it.

Mark Normand 16:25 Aha.

Joe Rogan 16:26 Some guys, the writing is cleaner and sharper and-

Mark Normand 16:30 It's clear it's a joke-

Joe Rogan 16:31 It's ... Yes.

Mark Normand 16:31 ... is what you're saying.

Joe Rogan 16:32 It's not just clear it's a j- He's, he's preposterous, over the line-

Mark Normand 16:35 Right.

Joe Rogan 16:35 ... into joke, obviously into joke land-

Mark Normand 16:37 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 16:38 ... and he's obviously really smart. Like, the- there's a thing that happens, I think, when someone is really good at writing jokes, where they're, they're giving it to you in a way that you are almost equally impressed with the efficiency of their use of language-

Mark Normand 16:52 Yes, yes.

Joe Rogan 16:52 ... as you are with the v- the funny in it.

Mark Normand 16:55 You can see the art in it.

Joe Rogan 16:56 Right, and Jeselnik's a combination of both.

Mark Normand 16:58 Right.

Joe Rogan 16:58 Like, he's got the funny, but he also has a very impressive way of setting things up. It's a-

Mark Normand 17:02 Sure.

Joe Rogan 17:02 It's a smart way of setting things up.

Mark Normand 17:04 Aha.

Joe Rogan 17:04 So you let him get away with more. He's funnier.

Mark Normand 17:07 I agree, but I think there's something also to hiding the technique. You know, he's, uh, he's so technique ... He's a technician.

Joe Rogan 17:13 Yes.

Mark Normand 17:13 He's precise. He's great at it. But I think something about the guy just being loosey-goosey-

Joe Rogan 17:17 Oh, yeah. Sure.

Mark Normand 17:18 ... and you don't even see ... "Oh, shit, that was the punch. I didn't even c- see it coming."

Joe Rogan 17:21 No, that's the thing, is that-

Mark Normand 17:22 That's cool too.

Joe Rogan 17:23 Oh, it's great too. There's no better way. You know, there's Joey Diaz, who I think is the funniest guy that's ever lived.

Mark Normand 17:28 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 17:28 He's completely loose.

Mark Normand 17:30 Yes.

Joe Rogan 17:30 Completely loose, you know?

Mark Normand 17:32 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 17:33 I mean, and but he, he'll catch these waves where you can't believe a person is ... It's possible for a person to be any funnier.

Mark Normand 17:40 Right, right.

Joe Rogan 17:40 He just hits ... Joey Di- Has you- have you ever seen him murder?

Mark Normand 17:42 I've never seen him lie.

Joe Rogan 17:42 Oh my god.

Mark Normand 17:43 To be honest.

Joe Rogan 17:43 Dude, he-

Mark Normand 17:43 You always say he's the GOAT. I'm like, "I wanna see this goat."

Joe Rogan 17:45 He hits these waves where people are just like, "Shut the fuck up," where comics in the back of the room are holding themselves. I've seen everybody, man. I've seen everybody kill.

Mark Normand 17:55 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 17:55 Never seen anybody stronger than Joey.

Mark Normand 17:57 Wow.

Joe Rogan 17:57 It's just these ... It's not like he's a Jeselnik-type writer where the-

Mark Normand 18:02 Sure.

Joe Rogan 18:02 ... like if he does a special, it's gonna be so polished from the beginning to the end. No, he's trying to find himself in it.

Mark Normand 18:08 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 18:08 But he's got seriously underrated joke-writing ability.

Mark Normand 18:11 Oh, really?

Joe Rogan 18:12 His economy of words, and he just says shit you don't see it coming, and it hits you like a fucking brick.

Mark Normand 18:19 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 18:19 And you're like, "Oh my god." And h- you know-

Mark Normand 18:21 I wanna be around.

Joe Rogan 18:22 That's what I love.

Mark Normand 18:23 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 18:23 So I lo- but I love Jeselnik too. I love, I love Seinfeld, you know?

Mark Normand 18:28 So do I.

Joe Rogan 18:28 I love all kinds of comedy. I, I love the fact that Hedberg had a completely different way of doing it than Santino does.

Mark Normand 18:35 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 18:36 It's like everybody's got their own thing.

Mark Normand 18:38 I know. It's a, it's a cool art.

Joe Rogan 18:40 Yeah.

Mark Normand 18:40 I love it. I love that I'm in it and I love that I'm getting paid to do it.

Joe Rogan 18:43 Do you, you know Andrew Santino? Worked with him?

Mark Normand 18:45 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 18:46 He's super conversational.

Mark Normand 18:47 Yes.

Joe Rogan 18:48 Like, you almost think that, that he's just saying this for the first time, that he's talking to you like a friend. Like, "Hey, k-" He's one of those guys where you're at the bar, like, "Dude. Dude. Come here." You know he's a fucking moron.

Mark Normand 18:58 Right. (laughs) He does have that, yes.

Joe Rogan 18:59 You know, he's the guy, he's the guy.

Mark Normand 19:00 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 19:00 And you're like, "Well, he is." Yeah, he's your brother, but he's a fucking moron. Like, "He's a fucking moron." And then he starts being funny.

Mark Normand 19:06 Right.

Joe Rogan 19:07 He's the guy that brings you in. Like, "Come on, let's have a drink." (laughs)

Mark Normand 19:11 I'm such a nervous nut that I'm- I gotta have every word re- re- precise. I'm, I'm a precision guy.

Joe Rogan 19:16 How many years in are you?

Mark Normand 19:17 I'm about 12, 13-ish.

Joe Rogan 19:19 Well, that's who you are then. Yeah.

Mark Normand 19:21 Yeah, that's it. And I'm okay with it. I like it. I'm, I've figured it out.

Joe Rogan 19:24 And it's a great way. You know, when you, when you get it polished down, you know, it's like some of the most impressive standup ever. Like, one of my all-time favorites is Richard Jeni.

Mark Normand 19:32 Oh, he's a k- beast.

Joe Rogan 19:33 Oh my God. Underrated as hell, right?

Mark Normand 19:35 But, but m- he was, talk about precise, he always said, "I get five minutes a year, maybe. Five good minutes of material a year."

Joe Rogan 19:42 Yeah.

Mark Normand 19:42 That's why he killed himself. I mean, it's brutal.

Joe Rogan 19:44 Yeah, he was super precise. He had, uh, he had a bunch of mental demons, unfortunately.

Mark Normand 19:49 Yeah. Don't we all?

Joe Rogan 19:51 (sighs) Remember I ran into him on a plane once. I was coming home from, I think it was Austin. I was, uh, doing the club and he had a corporate gig. We just-

Mark Normand 19:58 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 19:58 ... s- I said hi to him, "Hey, what's up Richard? What's up, man?" We were talking, you know. W- I was just, like, right behind him.

Mark Normand 20:03 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 20:04 And, um, he just seemed so fucking bummed out, man. Just seemed sad.

Mark Normand 20:08 Which is funny 'cause as a young comic, you're like, "You're bummed? You're killing it. You're one of the funniest guys ever."

Joe Rogan 20:13 Too.

Mark Normand 20:13 You don't get it that they can also be successful and miserable.

Joe Rogan 20:16 Well, mental illness is just, it h- it just gets people the same way lung cancer gets people.

Mark Normand 20:21 Sure.

Joe Rogan 20:22 The same way polio or, you know, something that you can catch. He was just depressed, man. Like, severely depressed.

Mark Normand 20:28 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 20:28 But God damn, he was good. I think it was because that was the only time he was ever having fun-

Mark Normand 20:32 Hm.

Joe Rogan 20:32 ... is when he was doing standup.

Mark Normand 20:34 Right.

Joe Rogan 20:34 I mean, I didn't know the guy that well. I only w- was casual with him a few times, but I was a giant fan.

Mark Normand 20:40 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 20:40 I worked at East Side Comedy Club when I was like, um, (sighs) I think I was l- probably 23-ish, 24. This is my first time making it to New York and I was doing Long Island.

Mark Normand 20:51 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 20:51 And, um, they told me that Richard Jeni had been there, uh, that night, or the, that weekend, and did two shows Friday, two shows Saturday, each totally different.

Mark Normand 21:02 Ah, that kills me.

Joe Rogan 21:04 Dude, it was the hardest thing to hear. (laughs)

Mark Normand 21:05 Yeah, yeah. I always hear that. "Oh, this guy did four different hours."

Joe Rogan 21:08 That was like, just not even possible.

Mark Normand 21:09 I know. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 21:10 How did he do it?

Mark Normand 21:11 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 21:11 They, they were in, they were, everyone was in awe. They were in awe. There was, uh, Joey Cola.

Mark Normand 21:16 Ah, yeah, he's a funny guy.

Joe Rogan 21:17 Yeah, he's a great guy.

Mark Normand 21:18 He's like a Long Island legend.

Joe Rogan 21:19 Yeah, he's a great guy. We were talking about it and we were like, "How the fuck does he do that?" Joey was, uh, ahead of me.

Mark Normand 21:24 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 21:25 He had been doing standup longer than me. He had, like, you know, more, more time that he could do on stage. (smacks lips) But I just couldn't imagine, ever, coming to a point in my life where out of four cons- c- four different hours-

Mark Normand 21:37 Mm-hmm. That's crazy.

Joe Rogan 21:38 And, and they said he murdered.

Mark Normand 21:39 I believe it.

Joe Rogan 21:40 Just murdered.

Mark Normand 21:41 Do you have that theory, you always hear Bill Hicks say that thing of like, "You know, the material is what you fall back on when you're out of things to say." Which I don't, I don't agree with. I think the material is what you show up to do. That people wanna hear your point of view, they don't wanna hear about y- uh, you know. They might wanna hear you rant a little bit in the beginning, but do the act.

Joe Rogan 21:58 That was Hicks' style though. He, you know, he had his own way. His way was like he was trying to almost inject philosophy into people while he was telling jokes.

Mark Normand 22:06 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 22:06 And the jokes were really smart.

Mark Normand 22:08 Sure. I like a joke.

Joe Rogan 22:08 And he was obviously a s- he was obviously a smart guy, so that was his thing. But I hear you. You know, the thing about him though is he didn't have podcasts.

Mark Normand 22:17 Right, right. He coulda used one.

Joe Rogan 22:19 Yeah. (blows raspberry) Of c- he woulda had the greatest podcast ever. And then I bet his standup would've gotten better 'cause he wouldn't have felt like he had to be so funny on stage.

Mark Normand 22:28 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 22:28 Or so poignant.

Mark Normand 22:29 Poignant.

Joe Rogan 22:30 Yeah. He woulda, woulda felt like, "I'm just here to ha- to do jokes. During the podcast, I get to talk about life."

Mark Normand 22:35 Right, right.

Joe Rogan 22:36 "I talk about everything and I don't even have to be funny."

Mark Normand 22:38 Yeah. Oof, I've had some bad cor- you mentioned corporates.

Joe Rogan 22:41 Oh, never.

Mark Normand 22:42 You, did you do any?

Joe Rogan 22:42 No, no.

Mark Normand 22:43 Oh, man.

Joe Rogan 22:44 Thank God. Thank the baby Jesus.

Mark Normand 22:45 I did a gig at The Cellar. This guy showed up and he goes, "I like your stuff. You're edgy, you're raw. Come do my, uh, country club. Come roast my country club." I was like, "Oh, great." So he's like, he gave me a, a sheet of like all his employees and all their dirt and he's like, "Really zing 'em. Really make it vicious. They always say vicious." And I show up and it's like Mercedes and, you know, Benzes everywhere and Maseratis and I was like, "Oh, shit." White tablecloths. I go up and I do the mic tap. "Hey, everybody. I'm gonna do some comedy." And they go, "He's gonna roast everybody. Sit back." He's got a cigar and a suit. And I go, "Hey, Bill." And Bill stands up and I go, "We all know you're on coke. We've seen it."

Joe Rogan 23:21 (laughs)

Mark Normand 23:21 And Bill's like, "What?" And his wife's like, "Why? Oh my God, you're supposed to be clean." And then I'm like, "All right, well, that didn't go well." Then I'm like, "Hey."

Joe Rogan 23:27 (laughs)

Mark Normand 23:27 "Hey, uh, Jeff. Jeff, we all know you're cheating on your wife." And she's like, "I knew it!" You know, and the kids are crying and, you know, "Rob, we all know you're gay. Just come out already." And this is all the shit he gave me. And the place, you know, the place is in a, in a, in a brouhaha and I fucking ... The guy came back, he's like, "Get the hell outta here." So that was tough.

Joe Rogan 23:45 Oh.

Mark Normand 23:45 True story.

Joe Rogan 23:47 I would've imagined, uh, you woulda double checked.

Mark Normand 23:50 (laughs) No, I just used what he gave me. This is all I knew.

Joe Rogan 23:52 That seems so ridiculous. That guy's ... And now, did you ever communicate with him after the gig?

Mark Normand 23:56 He was furious. Furious.

Joe Rogan 23:57 He was mad.

Mark Normand 23:58 He was pissed at me. He's like, "What happened?" I'm like, "What do you mean what happened? I, I did the shit you gave me. You said, 'Be vicious.'" He, 'cause he's like, "I thought you'd make it funny." I'm like, "I just said the shit. I made jokes, but I still had the dirt."

Joe Rogan 24:09 Oof.

Mark Normand 24:09 It was bad. I tried to do a couple, you know, jokes after about taxis and, and peanut butter, but it didn't fly.

Joe Rogan 24:17 Nothing?

Mark Normand 24:17 No, they were, they were just yelling at each other. (laughs) They (laughs) they were ru- the whole thing was ruined. I ruined the whole party.

Joe Rogan 24:24 Did you get paid?

Mark Normand 24:24 I got paid. I had to fight with the guy.

Joe Rogan 24:25 Oh. Really?

Mark Normand 24:26 And it was a solid check, I might say.

Joe Rogan 24:28 Wow. Nice.

Mark Normand 24:28 Nice chunk of change. But yeah, corporate.

Joe Rogan 24:30 Anyways.

Mark Normand 24:30 They don't, they always say that. I've been fired from every gig when they say, "Be edgy."... every time they don't know what edgy is. Edgy to us, we're dead inside.

Joe Rogan 24:37 Yeah.

Mark Normand 24:38 Edgy to us is, you know, abortion and miscarriage and AIDS and anal and queef and jizz. But these guys, they want, you know, uh, maybe a Jew joke or something.

Joe Rogan 24:48 E- edgy's one of those things where even though I might enjoy it by classical definition, like, what it actually is, I never enjoy hearing someone say it's edgy.

Mark Normand 24:58 No, no.

Joe Rogan 24:58 Like, whenever someone says something's edgy, I'm like, "Ew."

Mark Normand 25:00 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 25:01 Like, what? It's-

Mark Normand 25:01 You sound like my dad.

Joe Rogan 25:02 It sounds like horse shit.

Mark Normand 25:03 Right.

Joe Rogan 25:03 Like, it's nonsense. Oh, it's so edgy. You gotta see him, he's really edgy. I don't wanna see him now. I'm not seeing anybody.

Mark Normand 25:08 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 25:09 I'm not seeing anybody edgy.

Mark Normand 25:10 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 25:10 That, that term is just a gross term.

Mark Normand 25:13 Right.

Joe Rogan 25:13 You know? Edgy.

Mark Normand 25:14 Edgy. Yeah, it sounds dorky.

Joe Rogan 25:15 Yeah.

Mark Normand 25:15 It's like, it's rated R. Whoa!

Joe Rogan 25:17 But it's just corny.

Mark Normand 25:19 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 25:19 It's edgy.

Mark Normand 25:20 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 25:20 Edgy means, like, you're, like, trying.

Mark Normand 25:22 Yes. Yes.

Joe Rogan 25:23 You're trying too hard.

Mark Normand 25:24 Exactly.

Joe Rogan 25:25 Trying to be cool.

Mark Normand 25:26 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 25:26 I don't give a fuck he's edgy. He's gonna ... I'm gonna make fun of everybody, I'm talking shit.

Mark Normand 25:31 Right. I do like dark humor, though, don't get me wrong.

Joe Rogan 25:34 Me too.

Mark Normand 25:34 I, I love dark humor.

Joe Rogan 25:35 I just don't like that word.

Mark Normand 25:36 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 25:36 That word edgy just kills me.

Mark Normand 25:37 Same, same.

Joe Rogan 25:38 Makes me think of the worst.

Mark Normand 25:39 Yes.

Joe Rogan 25:40 Like, the, the, it's just the shittiest.

Mark Normand 25:42 Right. Well, they always say, "That's not, that's, uh, distasteful. That's bad taste." That's what they always say when I do edgy.

Joe Rogan 25:48 Like, no one would call Richard Pryor edgy.

Mark Normand 25:51 I mean, I guess you could, but-

Joe Rogan 25:53 I mean, would you dare?

Mark Normand 25:53 But nobody who, who likes him-

Joe Rogan 25:55 Would you? How could you dare?

Mark Normand 25:57 I wouldn't, but yeah.

Joe Rogan 25:58 That's not edgy.

Mark Normand 25:58 Right. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 25:59 "I really like good edgy comedy, like Richard Pryor." Be like, "Get away from me."

Mark Normand 26:03 To me, that's just comedy. That's what standup is-

Joe Rogan 26:05 Yeah.

Mark Normand 26:05 ... is Richard Pryor.

Joe Rogan 26:06 Exa- that's who he was, right?

Mark Normand 26:08 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 26:09 He wasn't Steven Wright. Steven Wright found his thing.

Mark Normand 26:12 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 26:13 You know? That's the, the great thing about it, is that it's like if you had a drug that has, like, a bunch of different effects, and it's all just drug. You go to the store to get it, and you, you don't know what you're gonna get.

Mark Normand 26:23 Right, right.

Joe Rogan 26:25 You don't ... You know, you, you know what I mean?

Mark Normand 26:26 That's interesting, yeah.

Joe Rogan 26:27 Like, what, what drug we got today?

Mark Normand 26:28 It could be a Viagra, it could be, uh ...

Joe Rogan 26:30 Yeah.

Mark Normand 26:30 ... birth control.

Joe Rogan 26:31 It could be speed. Like-

Mark Normand 26:32 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 26:32 ... we're going to get comedy. Oh, okay. What kinda comedy are we gonna go see?

Mark Normand 26:36 (laughs) Oh, shit.

Joe Rogan 26:36 Just fucking whatever.

Mark Normand 26:37 We just took a laxative.

Joe Rogan 26:38 Yeah. I mean, it could be anything.

Mark Normand 26:40 Yeah, that's interesting.

Joe Rogan 26:41 It could be Guns N' Roses, it could be Barry Manilow.

Mark Normand 26:44 Right.

Joe Rogan 26:45 It could be anybody.

Mark Normand 26:46 He had a s-

Joe Rogan 26:46 Sheena Easton. (laughs)

Mark Normand 26:48 (laughs) And it seems like they're never happy with what it is, you know?

Joe Rogan 26:51 No. I mean, neither would you be if you went to see Bands, and you were, like, really into AC/DC.

Mark Normand 26:55 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 26:55 And it was a bunch of Fiona Apple clones. You'd be like, "Enough whining."

Mark Normand 26:59 Right, right. (laughs) Right.

Joe Rogan 27:00 I get it, Sarah McLachlan, you like puppies.

Mark Normand 27:03 (laughs) I did like-

Joe Rogan 27:04 I get it. (laughs)

Mark Normand 27:05 I did like that Fiona Apple. She was good, but I know what you mean.

Joe Rogan 27:07 She was great.

Mark Normand 27:08 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 27:08 She still is, I'm sure. So is Sarah McLachlan, she got a beautiful voice.

Mark Normand 27:12 I gotta-

Joe Rogan 27:12 But you, you know, sometimes you wanna hear the fucking Cro-Mags or something.

Mark Normand 27:16 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 27:16 Like, you wanna hear something-

Mark Normand 27:16 Gwar.

Joe Rogan 27:17 Yeah. (laughs)

Mark Normand 27:18 Or Coldplay.

Joe Rogan 27:18 There's a lot of different BTS. (laughs)

Mark Normand 27:20 Yeah, I get it, I get it.

Joe Rogan 27:21 You know, there's, there's different styles.

Mark Normand 27:22 Yeah. I did, um ... I got hired for, by ... I shouldn't say the name. But I got hired by this internet company, pretty big one, and I was supposed to do a Hall-

Joe Rogan 27:30 Is it the one with Google?

Mark Normand 27:31 No, it was older, couple letters.

Joe Rogan 27:33 Oh, okay.

Mark Normand 27:33 Three letters.

Joe Rogan 27:34 Okay.

Mark Normand 27:35 So, uh, I, I, I got hired by them to host their Halloween show. I was the host, like, Bob Barker style, bad suit, skinny mic, and they were like, "Be edgy." So I was hosting the Halloween costume.

Joe Rogan 27:45 (laughs)

Mark Normand 27:45 We had a live audience, judges, the whole thing, and I ... They were like, "Be edgy. We saw your act, we like it." And I go, "Great." So I'm trying to be funny, I'm getting some zings, some zangs, and, uh, Catwoman walks on, like, a sexy Catwoman. I make fun of her, pussy joke, whatever. You know-

Joe Rogan 28:00 (laughs)

Mark Normand 28:00 ... it's going well. You're trying to be funny. It's, it's not easy. And then she's walking off, and an African queen is walking on. Like, she has, like, a big headdress, Black lady. And I go, "Hey, watch that whip around, the African." And I swear to God, the cameras just went pooh. Like, the whole thing shut down. It felt like the power went out. And I was like, "Well, that was weird." And they fired me right after.

Joe Rogan 28:21 You can't ... Wait a minute. If someone's wearing African garb-

Mark Normand 28:24 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 28:24 ... you can't say the African?

Mark Normand 28:26 I said, "Watch the whip," because Catwoman had a whip, and she was-

Joe Rogan 28:29 Right.

Mark Normand 28:29 ... passing her, going off.

Joe Rogan 28:31 Oh, that's hilarious.

Mark Normand 28:31 And she was coming on. I thought it was a quick, you know, zing, zag.

Joe Rogan 28:34 That's fucking funny, man.

Mark Normand 28:34 Thanks. I appreciate it, but they didn't think so.

Joe Rogan 28:37 Wow.

Mark Normand 28:38 They fired me. That was bad. That was the-

Joe Rogan 28:39 Wow.

Mark Normand 28:39 ... first day, I was supposed to do all five days.

Joe Rogan 28:41 How funny is that? A w- a ... I mean, you would think that most people would just say, "Well, that clearly is a joke."

Mark Normand 28:49 Of course, of course. It's-

Joe Rogan 28:50 That's about as jokey joke as you can get.

Mark Normand 28:52 And in my dumb mind, I was like, "Ooh, I fucking nailed that one." Uh-

Joe Rogan 28:55 I thought so too.

Mark Normand 28:56 ... I, I was quick. I was quick, all right.

Joe Rogan 28:57 Well, if you were at the Cellar, that would be you nailed it.

Mark Normand 28:59 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 29:00 Right?

Mark Normand 29:00 But I don't know what your dumb parameters are, people.

Joe Rogan 29:03 (sighs)

Mark Normand 29:03 Just 'cause you're in a, you know, you're, you own a company, I don't know what you like.

Joe Rogan 29:07 (sighs) Yeah, but the problem is you're doing corporates. You can't do 'em.

Mark Normand 29:09 Ah, well, I needed money, Joe.

Joe Rogan 29:10 I get it, brother.

Mark Normand 29:11 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 29:12 I get it.

Mark Normand 29:12 I'll ... I took any gig then.

Joe Rogan 29:13 I get it.

Mark Normand 29:14 I took Harlem, I was in Connecticut, I was Uptown, Downtown, all around.

Joe Rogan 29:17 Oh, believe me, I, I used to do bachelor parties with no microphone.

Mark Normand 29:20 Oh, wow.

Joe Rogan 29:21 I did horrible, horrible gigs.

Mark Normand 29:22 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 29:23 You gotta do what you gotta do.

Mark Normand 29:24 That's brutal.

Joe Rogan 29:25 I've done a couple, I did a couple with no microphone.

Mark Normand 29:27 Kinda good for you, though.

Joe Rogan 29:28 (sighs) Really good.

Mark Normand 29:28 I look at it like fighting.

Joe Rogan 29:30 Really good. Really good.

Mark Normand 29:30 Like, I ... You wanna be a good fighter. I wanna be able to grapple, I wanna be able to get into a bar fight and win. I also wanna be able to, you know, uh, get in a, get in a playground fight, you know, and a boxing ring fight. Like, you want it all.

Joe Rogan 29:41 Gotta mix it up.

Mark Normand 29:41 Just wanna be good at fighting. Mix it up.

Joe Rogan 29:43 Mix it up. Yeah. No, for sure. I think those gigs are good for you, even the ones where you bomb. Just to, just to re- it, it also gives you a greater appreciation of the good shows.

Mark Normand 29:53 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 29:53 And you might have more enthusiasm. Like-

Mark Normand 29:55 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 29:55 ... if you go to a comedy club, and, you know, the middle act is already killing, and you get out there, and ev- this great energy. Like, you're like, "Oh, this is so good."

Mark Normand 30:03 Yeah. Oh.

Joe Rogan 30:03 You realize how good it is-

Mark Normand 30:04 The best.

Joe Rogan 30:04 ... 'cause you did the corporate gig.

Mark Normand 30:06 Right, right.

Joe Rogan 30:06 Like, maybe you wouldn't appreciate the, those club gigs-

Mark Normand 30:09 Of course.

Joe Rogan 30:10 ... unless you had done the corporate gig.

Mark Normand 30:11 Do you remember when you found you? I remember where I was when ... I, I bombed for, like, three years straight when I started. And I remember how I clicked. I just came online and became who I am, and it changed everything.

Joe Rogan 30:22 What'd you do?

Mark Normand 30:23 I was at a show at, called Moe Pitkins. That was the name of the bar. It was on Avenue A. And I was bombing, and I was doing my dumb horse shit observational. And this guy started heckling me. And I just-... after bombing and living in New York and having bedbugs and just being poor and sad and lonely and drunk, I just snapped on this guy and it was killing.

Joe Rogan 30:43 (laughs)

Mark Normand 30:43 And I was, like, being me. And I was just calling this guy a piece of shit and like, "What's your life?" And I broke down his whole life and made him feel like an asshole. And I left there like, uh, I felt like a, a, an archangel. I was like a phoenix rising. It was amazing.

Joe Rogan 30:56 So you've realized that you can be yourself and if you are yourself, you're even funnier.

Mark Normand 31:00 Exactly.

Joe Rogan 31:00 Yeah.

Mark Normand 31:00 I was in this Seinfeldy, Paul Reiser shell.

Joe Rogan 31:03 Mm.

Mark Normand 31:04 And I cla- I cracked that macadamia nut open and got out of there.

Joe Rogan 31:08 (laughs)

Mark Normand 31:08 It was great.

Joe Rogan 31:09 That's beautiful.

Mark Normand 31:10 I felt 10 feet tall.

Joe Rogan 31:11 I love hearing stories like that.

Mark Normand 31:12 But I still bomb constantly.

Joe Rogan 31:14 Well-

Mark Normand 31:14 You know.

Joe Rogan 31:15 ... if you take chances, you're gonna bomb.

Mark Normand 31:16 Of course.

Joe Rogan 31:17 If you write new jokes, they're gonna, they're gonna fall.

Mark Normand 31:19 Right. You've lived in New York, huh?

Joe Rogan 31:21 Yeah.

Mark Normand 31:22 Yeah, I'd, boy, that was, oof.

Joe Rogan 31:23 That's when I got, I got way better.

Mark Normand 31:25 There you go.

Joe Rogan 31:25 I had to get way, way better.

Mark Normand 31:26 Yes.

Joe Rogan 31:26 I had to get way better. I was coming from Boston to New York, and in Boston, I'd relied too much on, like, regional humor.

Mark Normand 31:33 Ah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 31:34 And it was also, there was too many, like, bar gigs where you could kinda sustain yourself.

Mark Normand 31:39 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 31:40 And guys did it for too long.

Mark Normand 31:42 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 31:42 They didn't venture out into the rest of the country. And so when I did go to New York, I felt like, first of all, I'd, 10 minutes of my material now is useless.

Mark Normand 31:49 Right.

Joe Rogan 31:49 Like gone. Like bits that were killing-

Mark Normand 31:51 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 31:51 ... used to kill before. Now they-

Mark Normand 31:53 Local humor gets you local.

Joe Rogan 31:54 Now they're local. Yeah, it does, it does.

Mark Normand 31:55 True.

Joe Rogan 31:56 It was a trap for sure.

Mark Normand 31:57 Yeah, but it works.

Joe Rogan 31:58 So I had some serious bomb sessions, some really bad sets.

Mark Normand 32:02 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 32:02 And I had to l- you like realize like, "Oh, okay, I gotta really, really, really go to work and look at this. I can't just look at this casually."

Mark Normand 32:08 Right.

Joe Rogan 32:09 I gotta say, "Why am I, why am I so nervous when I go on stage? Like, why don't I have a, a really good bit to start with?"

Mark Normand 32:16 Right.

Joe Rogan 32:17 Why don't I ease into it? Like let's look at all the problems that I've had.

Mark Normand 32:20 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 32:20 Being awkward at first, you can't recover.

Mark Normand 32:22 Right.

Joe Rogan 32:23 You know? There's-

Mark Normand 32:23 Exactly.

Joe Rogan 32:24 Yes. So all those different things w- when you make, when you have to move to a completely new environment, you're forced to rethink how you do comedy because now you're around the Chicago guys.

Mark Normand 32:34 Yeah. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 32:34 And maybe the Chicago girls and guys do their standup different.

Mark Normand 32:38 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 32:38 You know, maybe, and then you g- you get around them and you go, "Oh, well these guys are, this is another level," you know? And then you go to New York, "Oh, this is another level."

Mark Normand 32:46 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 32:47 "This is, this is a higher level."

Mark Normand 32:48 Exactly.

Joe Rogan 32:48 And New York and LA are even different.

Mark Normand 32:51 Sure, sure.

Joe Rogan 32:51 You know, they're just, it's like different styles and like all of it is good for you. You're exposed to different styles, you're exposed to different audiences. People who don't do the road, like, you can't do it.

Mark Normand 33:02 You can't.

Joe Rogan 33:03 You can't be a real comic if you-

Mark Normand 33:04 Yep.

Joe Rogan 33:04 ... don't travel.

Mark Normand 33:05 Exactly. You could be like a niche weirdo, but you got, if you wanna entertain the country or the world, you gotta get out there.

Joe Rogan 33:11 And a lot of those niche weirdos from Boston are some of the greatest comics of all time.

Mark Normand 33:14 That's true.

Joe Rogan 33:15 But it's not smart. It's like the, the problem is then the world doesn't get to see.

Mark Normand 33:21 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 33:21 Then only the people around you get to see, and you're missing out on a giant chunk of the people that you could appre- that could appreciate your work. You could have these fans. They would, you would make them feel better or they would see you and laugh. Like you're missing all that.

Mark Normand 33:35 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 33:35 You're missing all that because you're not making the, the right steps.

Mark Normand 33:38 Yeah, it's actually kinda closed minded.

Joe Rogan 33:40 Well, I just, it's convenient sometimes, kind of.

Mark Normand 33:42 Convenient.

Joe Rogan 33:42 Get married and they have kids, you know, and they get stuck. They're in school. They don't wanna go, they don't wanna go on the road every weekend.

Mark Normand 33:47 Hmm.

Joe Rogan 33:47 You know, it's like it's, it's too much, you know?

Mark Normand 33:49 Yeah. But you, you lived in New York. When you moved there, did you have money?

Joe Rogan 33:52 No, no.

Mark Normand 33:53 Yeah, okay. That was hell, right?

Joe Rogan 33:55 It was hell. It was real bad. I was, I was actually staying with my grandfather-

Mark Normand 33:58 Oh.

Joe Rogan 33:58 ... who was living in, uh, uh, Newark, New Jersey-

Mark Normand 34:01 Oh.

Joe Rogan 34:01 ... on North Ninth Street.

Mark Normand 34:02 God.

Joe Rogan 34:03 Right next to a guy who got his door broken down for selling crack.

Mark Normand 34:06 Sounds good.

Joe Rogan 34:07 He had an Audi parked in his driveway.

Mark Normand 34:08 Ah.

Joe Rogan 34:09 He had some, some cheddar. Um, yeah, my grandfather was there and bought a house. I think he bought a house in like the '40s.

Mark Normand 34:17 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 34:18 And somewhere later, like in the '50s or the '60s, they did this thing called blockbusting-

Mark Normand 34:24 I remember that.

Joe Rogan 34:24 ... where they would say-

Mark Normand 34:25 Good video.

Joe Rogan 34:25 ... that hey, a b- I think that was a storm.

Mark Normand 34:27 Oh, sorry, sorry.

Joe Rogan 34:28 They would say that like, "Hey, uh, a Black person's moving into your neighborhood. Black people are gonna move into your neighborhood and it's going to drop your property value."

Mark Normand 34:36 Ah-huh.

Joe Rogan 34:36 "So you gotta sell now before this happens." And a lot of people panicked-

Mark Normand 34:41 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 34:41 ... and just sold their houses. And my grandfather was like, "I like Black people. I'm staying right here."

Mark Normand 34:45 Huh.

Joe Rogan 34:45 So he just, he just never moved.

Mark Normand 34:47 Bad business.

Joe Rogan 34:48 He, he was just like, (clears throat) he was like, "This is my fucking house." Like-

Mark Normand 34:50 Yeah. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 34:51 ... like, "This is where I live." And he, and he was there and it turned from this all Italian neighborhood to, it was a Black neighborhood for a while. And then it became, right now, or when I lived there rather, it was, uh, more of a, like a Latino immigrant community.

Mark Normand 35:06 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 35:07 There was a lot of Spanish-speaking people.

Mark Normand 35:09 Sure.

Joe Rogan 35:09 From all sorts of different countries. I mean, they did, I didn't do a survey and find out what country they were all from, but-

Mark Normand 35:13 Do you think Black people go, "Shit, the Latinos are moving in"?

Joe Rogan 35:16 (laughs)

Mark Normand 35:16 Like, do you think they get upset about that? Like, you know, blockbusting with, you know, Latins?

Joe Rogan 35:22 I think it's all about where people can move, where they could survive.

Mark Normand 35:26 Cheap.

Joe Rogan 35:27 If it's gotta be cheap. Yeah.

Mark Normand 35:27 That's why artists go there too.

Joe Rogan 35:29 Yeah.

Mark Normand 35:29 Artists are the lowest rung of everything.

Joe Rogan 35:30 Yeah. Yeah.

Mark Normand 35:31 We're the brokest and, and least, uh, we, we can't do anything. At least like Black people and Latinos, they have like some skills.

Joe Rogan 35:37 Well, that was always a-

Mark Normand 35:38 Artists have one skill and it's painting or some shit.

Joe Rogan 35:40 Yeah, or telling jokes.

Mark Normand 35:41 Yeah. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 35:41 It was always like a badge of courage for guys who lived in Alphabet City. Like, "Whoa."

Mark Normand 35:45 Yeah. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 35:45 "He's real."

Mark Normand 35:46 What do they say? Oh, A, A is for, uh...

Joe Rogan 35:48 (laughs)

Mark Normand 35:48 No, D is death, C is, I don't know, cool it, and B was-

Joe Rogan 35:53 Crack?

Mark Normand 35:53 Yeah, crack. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 35:54 (laughs)

Mark Normand 35:54 And B was, you know, be careful and A was, uh, anal. I don't know. It was something.

Joe Rogan 35:59 That whole area was if you knew a guy who lived there, he probably wore, he probably wore those, uh, what are those fucking boots? Doc Martens.

Mark Normand 36:08 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 36:09 One of those... What's that?

Mark Normand 36:09 Timberlands?

Joe Rogan 36:09 No.

Mark Normand 36:10 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 36:10 He was a Doc Martens guy. If you were a white guy and you lived in Alphabet City, you were like a tortured fan of The Creeps.

Mark Normand 36:16 Right. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 36:16 Right?

Mark Normand 36:17 Right. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 36:17 You remember that band The Creeps?

Mark Normand 36:18 Sure.

Joe Rogan 36:19 I think s- that band had such a cool logo that a bunch of people just signed on to become fans just 'cause they liked that creepy, m- weird, you know what I mean?

Mark Normand 36:27 That greenish, kinda droopy, uh-

Joe Rogan 36:29 That weird fellow, like music for bad people. Remember that, uh...

Mark Normand 36:33 Yeah, it was a good T-shirt.

Joe Rogan 36:35 I-

Mark Normand 36:35 I remember.

Joe Rogan 36:36 I dated a gal who would go to those shows and she would mosh and she'd come back with headaches. (laughs)

Mark Normand 36:40 Damn.Um-

Joe Rogan 36:42 (laughs) She'd come back dizzy and shit.

Mark Normand 36:43 She's committed, yeah. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 36:44 She got bonked in the head at a fucking mosh pit at some punk rock show at the Rathskeller.

Mark Normand 36:49 Yeah, I moved to New York, uh, with $400 and I got bedbugs the first year, landlord died of AIDS-

Joe Rogan 36:56 Whoa.

Mark Normand 36:56 ... and, uh, oh, I got mugged three times in the first year.

Joe Rogan 36:59 Oh my God.

Mark Normand 37:00 It was hell, man.

Joe Rogan 37:01 Mugged at, like, what? Knife point? Gun point?

Mark Normand 37:03 Uh, well, it was mostly my fault. I- I'm, I'm victim blaming here, but, uh, I was always such a blackout drunk that I was just, like, askin' to be mugged.

Joe Rogan 37:12 Oh.

Mark Normand 37:12 I would fall asleep and wake up and guys were going through my shit.

Joe Rogan 37:15 Oh, geez.

Mark Normand 37:15 One time I fell asleep on, uh, Hell's Kitchen. Remember the bar, Rudy's?

Joe Rogan 37:19 No.

Mark Normand 37:19 Uh, th- you got a free hot dog with every beer so it was a, it was a hot spot. But I remember being so drunk, they threw me out and I was walking down Ninth Avenue and I was like, "I just gotta lay down for a minute. I'm so tired." 'Cause I had to go... When you had that haul to Brooklyn on the subway, that would take two, three hours sometimes.

Joe Rogan 37:34 Really?

Mark Normand 37:34 Oh, yeah, at that... At 4:00 in the morning, yeah.

Joe Rogan 37:36 Two, three hours?

Mark Normand 37:38 'Cause the trains change and they never show up and, you know, then the garbage train comes. It takes forev- And I lived in Crown Heights, man, which is, like, way out. So, uh, I f- I fell asleep in this little alcove and I woke up and four or five guys are going through my, uh, shit. They're block busting. And I'm like, "Oh, shit."

Joe Rogan 37:55 (laughs)

Mark Normand 37:55 And, uh, uh, I was like, "Wuh," and he goes, "He's gettin' up!" And he hit me and I went out again. And he... They took my keys, my phone, my joke book-

Joe Rogan 38:03 Oh my God.

Mark Normand 38:03 ... I mean, and my wallet. And starting from scratch with no money... You gotta buy a... Somehow get a MetroCard, but you have no wallet to get the MetroCard. You got no green... Uh, credit card to get the wallet. I mean, it's, it's brutal.

Joe Rogan 38:14 How'd you get by? What'd you do?

Mark Normand 38:15 I just had to walk home, which took forever, and then I think I jumped the turnstiles, got home, and then, you know, you find your roommate, you call your mom and she helps ya.

Joe Rogan 38:24 Wow.

Mark Normand 38:25 I fell asleep... Oh, this is a crazy story. I fell asleep on the subway, I went like four stops past mine in, in Brooklyn. And I got out and I was like, "Ah, I'll walk it. It's a nice night." I see five guys on the corner, right out of stencil casting, shooting dice, thug- thugged out guys on the corner, drinking 40s. And I go, "Ah, I'm gonna cross the street. These guys look a little shady." And I walk across the street and now an older guy's coming to... A white beard, big, older Black guy. And he gets up to me, and I had an old iPod, he goes, "Gimme that radio." And I go, "It's not a radio," th- thinking that would, like, you know, turn him away. And he goes, "Just give it to me." And I go, "Uh, I don't think so." And he grabs at it, so I grab at it, now we're tugging. And he picks me up and he's slamming me against a business, like, you know when the metal gate closes?

Joe Rogan 39:06 Yeah.

Mark Normand 39:07 That pow, pow. And I'm kicking him, I'm punching him, and I can't... I think he was on PCP or something. And before I know it, those five guys run over and just beat the shit out of him. I'm talking, he hits the ground, they're kicking him in the face and I'm just like, "Ah, ah," and I grab my iPod and I get out of there.

Joe Rogan 39:22 So those five guys helped you?

Mark Normand 39:24 They saved my life, yeah.

Joe Rogan 39:25 Holy shit.

Mark Normand 39:26 I- I d- I talked to a cop about it, like, a month later, and he was like, "Oh, those were drug dealers and they can't have some white kid getting killed in your neig- in the neighborhood, so they had to make a choice."

Joe Rogan 39:35 (laughs)

Mark Normand 39:35 And I was like, "Wow, thank God for drugs."

Joe Rogan 39:38 (laughs) Yeah, you can't judge. I'd totally judge those guys. But-

Mark Normand 39:42 Well, they're like a local mafia. They take care of their block.

Joe Rogan 39:44 Exactly.

Mark Normand 39:45 I mean, that's what the mob always did. The one thing that people liked that lived in communities that were run by the mob is that they k- kinda kept an order.

Joe Rogan 39:52 Right.

Mark Normand 39:53 Yeah, it was terrible order if you f- fell foul to them, you know?

Joe Rogan 39:56 Yeah.

Mark Normand 39:57 If you f- you know, you had an issue with them.

Joe Rogan 39:59 Yeah.

Mark Normand 39:59 But if you didn't... Like, the... They always had the mob... When the mob ran Vegas, like old ladies would always say that. "It was beautiful when the mob ran it."

Joe Rogan 40:06 That's true. (laughs) Yeah, y-

Mark Normand 40:08 "When the mob ran Vegas, it was classy." Y- you hear that about Buddy Cianci? He was, like, the, um, the Providence mayor.

Joe Rogan 40:14 Yeah.

Mark Normand 40:14 And he was, like, a big, big mob guy, but everything was clean and well, well run, but he was also whacking people in the back of a butcher store.

Joe Rogan 40:22 Ooh.

Mark Normand 40:22 So you get the good with the bad. It's like Al Capone.

Joe Rogan 40:24 Yeah.

Mark Normand 40:24 He's showing up with a turkey on Thanksgiving, but then he's killing your uncle for not paying the bills.

Joe Rogan 40:28 Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that was the thing about John Gotti in Crown Heights, right? He would light the fireworks. Was it Crown Heights? Is that where he lived?

Mark Normand 40:37 I don't know. Crown Heights was-

Joe Rogan 40:37 It was someplace in Brooklyn. Was it Bensonhurst? Where-

Mark Normand 40:40 Maybe Benson. That was very Italian.

Joe Rogan 40:42 Maybe it was in Bensonhurst. She- wh- wherever it was, where Gotti would have this enormous fireworks celebration every year.

Mark Normand 40:48 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 40:48 And everybody knew that the Godfather put on this fireworks celebration. It was like his peacock feathers-

Mark Normand 40:53 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 40:53 ... that he would flare once a year.

Mark Normand 40:55 Right.

Joe Rogan 40:55 And, you know, they all, like, appreciated him and they'd come to give him respect and, you know, they'd have this open display of the mafia-

Mark Normand 41:03 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 41:03 ... in the form of fireworks.

Mark Normand 41:05 Uh-huh. That's great.

Joe Rogan 41:06 And e- and everybody knew. And it was a, it was a weird thing. Like, ev- everybody knew that he was putting it on.

Mark Normand 41:10 Wow.

Joe Rogan 41:11 It's very strange.

Mark Normand 41:12 Very strange. And then they're in with the cops too, so that's weird.

Joe Rogan 41:15 Yeah, oh, yeah.

Mark Normand 41:15 You feel very safe, but it's also scary. I don't know, it's a-

Joe Rogan 41:18 It's dangerous.

Mark Normand 41:19 It's a different kind of a order.

Joe Rogan 41:20 Too much murder.

Mark Normand 41:22 Yeah. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 41:22 You see, the, the, the law version is fucked up and, you know, people go to jail for things that they didn't do and there's a lot of real problems-

Mark Normand 41:30 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 41:30 ... with the law, but, but it's better than the mob. (laughs)

Mark Normand 41:34 Yeah, yeah, I guess so. I guess so.

Joe Rogan 41:35 It's just better. It's way better. Yeah, it's got issues, but it's based on the idea that we're all equal and that we all have equal rights and the laws are supposed to protect us from people committing crimes to us and stealing from us.

Mark Normand 41:47 Yeah, imagine if a, a mob guy knocked on your warehouse and was like, "Hey, hey, you gotta pay up."

Joe Rogan 41:51 Exactly.

Mark Normand 41:52 Wouldn't that be cra-

Joe Rogan 41:52 Yeah.

Mark Normand 41:52 What would you do?

Joe Rogan 41:53 Hire more SEALs.

Mark Normand 41:55 (laughs) You got SEALs here?

Joe Rogan 41:57 Yeah, yeah.

Mark Normand 41:57 Oh, that's what those guys are?

Joe Rogan 41:58 Yeah, I don't... I'm not paying anybody, man.

Mark Normand 42:01 I don't know, but then now you're, uh, you're in the bad spot.

Joe Rogan 42:04 Yeah, you don't wanna be in the bad spot.

Mark Normand 42:05 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 42:06 Yeah.

Mark Normand 42:06 So it's a tough gamble.

Joe Rogan 42:07 Yeah.

Mark Normand 42:07 And then you're just thinking about it, you're laying in bed at night and you hear, you hear somebody tapping on your door and you're like, "Fuck," and then they start taunting you.

Joe Rogan 42:12 Right.

Mark Normand 42:13 Then your life is ruined. Then they fuck with your wife. Who knows what's going on?

Joe Rogan 42:16 Yep, yep, and that's how they get people to pay.

Mark Normand 42:18 Yeah, yeah, and now they call it-

Joe Rogan 42:19 That's how people get scared.

Mark Normand 42:20 Now they call it unions.

Joe Rogan 42:22 Oh, what are you saying?

Mark Normand 42:23 Oh, boy. Sorry, sorry.

Joe Rogan 42:24 Some unions are legitimate, sir. You're obviously on the hooch.

Mark Normand 42:27 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 42:28 You've drank too much of that Buffalo Trace whiskey, sir.

Mark Normand 42:30 Gotta get over the hump.

Joe Rogan 42:31 You're on the hooch.

Mark Normand 42:32 Boy, you got big mitts. Look at the size of those hands.

Joe Rogan 42:34 Mm-hmm.

Mark Normand 42:35 Jesus, you could choke a man.

Joe Rogan 42:38 (laughs)

Mark Normand 42:38 Wow. All right, sorry, the-

Joe Rogan 42:39 It's all right.

Mark Normand 42:40 ... the coffee's... I'm on the moon here.This stuff's no joke.

Joe Rogan 42:43 Yeah. It's not, it's not for the f- timid heart.

Mark Normand 42:46 I gotta get the buffalo in me just to even out.

Joe Rogan 42:48 Mm-hmm.

Mark Normand 42:49 Long night.

Joe Rogan 42:50 Yeah, it's that Laird Hamilton coffee, son.

Mark Normand 42:51 Whoo, he's a, he's a hunk.

Joe Rogan 42:53 He's a hunk of a man.

Mark Normand 42:54 Him and his wife, wouldn't you love to watch them fuck? (laughs)

Joe Rogan 42:56 You know what Patrick, Pat from The Black Keys... (laughs) Yes, I would.

Mark Normand 42:59 Oh, that's-

Joe Rogan 42:59 You know what Pat, Pat from The Black Keys-

Mark Normand 42:59 ...a beautiful spawn they would have.

Joe Rogan 43:01 I mean, with... Genetics are off the charts.

Mark Normand 43:04 Ah, even Larry David's kids are hot, and he's a troll.

Joe Rogan 43:07 (laughs)

Narrator 43:07 (laughs)

Mark Normand 43:07 You know? I mean, I love him, he's my hero, but, uh-

Joe Rogan 43:09 Her, her genes just took over. They, they picked up the, the weight.

Mark Normand 43:12 The wife gene.

Joe Rogan 43:13 Yeah, the wife gene.

Mark Normand 43:14 Yeah, the wife is beautiful.

Joe Rogan 43:15 Yeah, so the wife gene just picked up the extra weight. Like, "We got it, we got it. Don't worry."

Mark Normand 43:18 Aren't you glad that women find funny... What would we do if y- you know, you're a-

Joe Rogan 43:24 Be a real problem.

Mark Normand 43:24 ... you're, you're a, a wildebeest, I'm a, I'm a dweeb, you know? Like-

Joe Rogan 43:28 (laughs) It'd be a real problem.

Mark Normand 43:29 Yeah, we'd be fucked. Thank God women can see past looks.

Joe Rogan 43:33 I know, 'cause men can't.

Mark Normand 43:35 Oh, Jesus.

Joe Rogan 43:36 I mean, imagine if we would have t- we had to wear makeup.

Mark Normand 43:38 Oh, God, I'd kill myself.

Joe Rogan 43:39 Imagine if... Like, I was watching a lady this morning in the car. I was heading... My kid had a, um, a little thing at wor- at school, um, one of those little, uh... One of those things called? What are they-

Mark Normand 43:49 Mascara.

Joe Rogan 43:50 No, where they like-

Mark Normand 43:51 Dildo.

Joe Rogan 43:51 ... get on stage and they do-

Mark Normand 43:52 Jewels.

Narrator 43:52 An assembly of some sort.

Joe Rogan 43:53 Assembly.

Mark Normand 43:53 Ah.

Joe Rogan 43:54 Thank you. God, why couldn't I come up with assembly? I was just at one this morning.

Mark Normand 43:57 Well, you're getting old.

Joe Rogan 43:58 But anyway, I'm looking at this... I am. I'm looking at this lady in traffic, and she's applying base on her face, and she's doing this all while she's, like, in between traffic stops.

Mark Normand 44:06 Unbelievable.

Joe Rogan 44:07 They hit the red light, and immediately, they're putting their, they're putting their mask on.

Mark Normand 44:10 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 44:11 Dolling it up. I'm like-

Mark Normand 44:11 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 44:12 ... "Wow, it's such a weird thing to want to do."

Mark Normand 44:15 Yeah, I feel bad for women for... But then I also hate when they blame men for that. You know, they go-

Joe Rogan 44:20 Yes.

Mark Normand 44:20 ... "Oh, in a man's world, I gotta wear the makeup." Like, no, you don't have to, but you could also be considered less attractive. Like, it's a give-and-take here.

Joe Rogan 44:27 How much less? Listen, man, if, if a girl's-

Mark Normand 44:30 Yeah, yeah. Good point.

Joe Rogan 44:30 If there's something hot about a girl not wearing makeup...

Mark Normand 44:34 Sure, but you gotta have a nice face, too. You can't-

Joe Rogan 44:36 (laughs)

Narrator 44:36 (laughs)

Mark Normand 44:36 I mean, realistically, you can't just not have-

Joe Rogan 44:39 You sound like the Dalai Lama.

Mark Normand 44:40 (laughs) Well, let's get down to-

Joe Rogan 44:41 Do you hear what happened with him?

Mark Normand 44:42 No, what happened?

Joe Rogan 44:43 He didn't hear? Oh, he, they, they were talking to him about would there ever be a female Dalai Lama.

Mark Normand 44:47 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 44:47 And he goes, "Yes, but must be good-looking."

Mark Normand 44:49 Oh, well, I'm not saying that. That's a-

Joe Rogan 44:51 And the lady was like, "What?"

Mark Normand 44:52 (laughs)

Narrator 44:52 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 44:52 And he goes, "Yeah, nobody wants to see this face." Ugh. And he makes like this ugly face. (laughs)

Mark Normand 44:57 Oh. Well, he's no peach himself, but I'm saying-

Joe Rogan 45:00 (laughs)

Mark Normand 45:00 ... biology is the ultimate misogynist-

Joe Rogan 45:03 Sure.

Mark Normand 45:03 ... when you really break it down. You know?

Joe Rogan 45:05 Yeah.

Mark Normand 45:05 Women get, they gotta get pregnant before this age, and then they also wanna have a career, but they wanna get, they gotta not, they wanna get knocked up, but then the tits and the boobs-

Joe Rogan 45:12 Yeah.

Mark Normand 45:12 ... and the butt and the waist. It sucks.

Joe Rogan 45:14 And some women want a career simply because they wanna show everybody that they're not inferior to men. Like-

Mark Normand 45:22 Yeah, that's weird, too.

Joe Rogan 45:23 Yeah. It's like society's trick... Not, I'm not, I'm not saying trick them, but trapped them in this situation where not only do they have to have the babies.

Mark Normand 45:31 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 45:31 They have to br- they have to create humans, and on top of that, they have to compete with men and show that they can.

Mark Normand 45:37 Right.

Joe Rogan 45:37 So, I s- I always find that the women who are mothers but are also, like, corporate people, they're, like, insanely competitive.

Mark Normand 45:45 Yes.

Joe Rogan 45:46 Well, you, you're, you're like, like a Gabrielle Reece. Like, if she went that way-

Mark Normand 45:50 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 45:50 ... if she went the corporate way, she'd be insanely competitive.

Mark Normand 45:52 Killer.

Joe Rogan 45:53 Which is why she was this killer volleyball player.

Mark Normand 45:55 Right, right.

Joe Rogan 45:55 And, you know, it's like, I really feel like that's a, that's a, a d- a really new thing for humans.

Mark Normand 46:03 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 46:03 I mean, when, what year was it... I mean, not th- it's not that it's bad, because it's great that women have the option to do whatever they want.

Mark Normand 46:10 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 46:10 But what I'm saying is just historically, how recent is it? 'Cause it seems like it's only within the last 100 years that women have had, like, this sort of kind of career, like working alongside men-

Mark Normand 46:24 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 46:24 ... in business, in the boardrooms, and making these big decisions-

Mark Normand 46:27 Sure.

Joe Rogan 46:27 ... and being CEOs of companies and-

Mark Normand 46:29 Which is great if you're-

Joe Rogan 46:30 Yes.

Mark Normand 46:30 ... if you wanna do that, and if you're good at it.

Joe Rogan 46:31 Yes.

Mark Normand 46:31 You still have to be good at it. I hate all the, like, "We gotta put a woman in."

Joe Rogan 46:34 She's r-

Mark Normand 46:34 Well, what if she sucks?

Joe Rogan 46:35 Right, right, right.

Mark Normand 46:35 Put a woman who's good.

Joe Rogan 46:36 Exactly.

Mark Normand 46:36 There are women who are good at it. It's, it's insulting and condescending. It's like, "Put a woman in. You know, we wanna have a good quota."

Joe Rogan 46:42 I had a-

Mark Normand 46:42 Put a good one in.

Joe Rogan 46:43 ... conversation like that with my friend. She has a TV show, and she was talking about wanting to hire a diverse cast of writers.

Mark Normand 46:49 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 46:50 And I'm just like, "As long as they're good."

Mark Normand 46:52 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 46:52 Like, that's number one.

Mark Normand 46:53 That's how I feel.

Joe Rogan 46:53 Number one should be, are they good?

Mark Normand 46:55 Exactly.

Joe Rogan 46:55 And she's like, "Well, I just want it to look a certain way. I don't want it to be all white men." I'm like, "Okay, you got one shot at this."

Mark Normand 47:02 Right.

Joe Rogan 47:02 If you're gonna do a standup show, you got one shot at this. You gotta put your blinders on and just say, "Who is the funniest?"

Mark Normand 47:07 Isn't it?

Joe Rogan 47:08 And w- what are the, what group... This is, it's a meritocracy. You're trying to make a funny show.

Mark Normand 47:12 That's the ultimate meritocracy.

Joe Rogan 47:12 I get it-

Mark Normand 47:13 The ultimate equality.

Joe Rogan 47:13 ... if you don't think that someone can be funny but right for women, that you might-

Mark Normand 47:16 Yes.

Joe Rogan 47:16 ... be right there. Might be right there.

Mark Normand 47:17 I agree with that. I agree with that. That's why the UFC is great. You just let it go, just don't touch it.

Joe Rogan 47:22 Mm-hmm.

Mark Normand 47:22 And it's fucking... You got a Russian guy, you got an African guy, you got a Swedish guy, you got-

Joe Rogan 47:26 Yes.

Mark Normand 47:26 ... a German guy, an Irish guy. No one's going, "Oh, there's not enough, uh, Black people. Oh, thank God Silva's here, thank God Anderson Silva's here."

Joe Rogan 47:33 Right.

Mark Normand 47:33 No, he's just good.

Joe Rogan 47:34 Right.

Mark Normand 47:34 You know? And then you got the good women, too. You got the Cyborgs and the whatnots and the Rouseys. It just, let it happen, let it be good.

Joe Rogan 47:40 Well-

Mark Normand 47:40 It should work itself out.

Joe Rogan 47:41 Yeah, that's, fighting's the ultimate meritocracy, right?

Mark Normand 47:44 Yeah, yeah, completely, which is why it's so popular, I think.

Joe Rogan 47:46 Yeah. I think it's just, there's, uh, there's little bullshit in it as possi- there's bad decisions and there's injuries-

Mark Normand 47:51 Sure.

Joe Rogan 47:51 ... and stuff like that. Eye pokes.

Mark Normand 47:54 Right.

Joe Rogan 47:54 But overall, it's like the least bullshittable-

Mark Normand 47:58 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 47:58 ... out of all sports.

Mark Normand 47:59 I think it goes back to the blending, the shit your daughter's watching.

Joe Rogan 48:03 (laughs)

Mark Normand 48:03 Because it's just ba- we want basic, we're craving basic shit.

Joe Rogan 48:07 Hmm.

Mark Normand 48:07 Just... And I know basic's like an insult now, which is ironic. But it's like, we just want... Give me the core. We got so much dogshit. Our sushi has mayonnaise on it now.

Joe Rogan 48:17 Hmm.

Mark Normand 48:17 What the fuck are we doing? The best sushi's just the simple roll. Give me a BJ. Don't put, uh-... you know, don't give me a reach-around. Just go with the shit that works.

Joe Rogan 48:26 Don't put hot sauce on my dick.

Mark Normand 48:27 Yeah, whatever that is.

Joe Rogan 48:28 (laughs)

Mark Normand 48:28 Or, or the, the, the fucking Cert, the, whatever they eat.

Joe Rogan 48:31 (sighs)

Mark Normand 48:31 The mint. It's good. Don't bro- don't break, what is it? Don't fix what ain't broke.

Joe Rogan 48:35 Yeah, that would be the most ridiculous porn series ever.

Mark Normand 48:39 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 48:39 Hot Ones with Dicks.

Mark Normand 48:41 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 48:41 Where they just put different kinda hot sauce on dudes' dicks-

Mark Normand 48:44 Oh, God.

Joe Rogan 48:44 ... and then these girls are crying and snot's-

Mark Normand 48:46 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 48:46 ... coming out of their nose, and they're blowing guys who have, like, Dave's Red Hot.

Mark Normand 48:50 Yeah, that wouldn't be milk-

Joe Rogan 48:51 You know?

Mark Normand 48:51 ... they're drinking though.

Joe Rogan 48:52 Like, what is the one that there's, there's ... What's the most ridiculous one that they always have on the Hot Ones show?

Narrator 48:57 Oh, The Last Dab. It's, uh-

Joe Rogan 48:58 The Last Dab-

Narrator 48:59 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 48:59 ... that was called? Yeah. There's one that it, like, Ari got me some of this shit that has a skull and crossbones on it.

Mark Normand 49:04 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 49:04 And I'm telling you, I have, I'd have a bowl of, like, chicken noodle soup and you put a fucking drop.

Mark Normand 49:09 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 49:09 Just blip. And you eat it and you're like, "Oh."

Mark Normand 49:13 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 49:13 One tiny little drop.

Mark Normand 49:15 That's not fun.

Joe Rogan 49:15 Also dumb for those salesmen. You're never gonna sell a bottle. But you are. You're wrong. You are.

Mark Normand 49:19 Who's gonna buy a bo- if a drop-

Joe Rogan 49:21 People.

Mark Normand 49:21 ... goes a long way.

Joe Rogan 49:22 Peop- some people can do it, man. We can't do it, but some people can do it.

Mark Normand 49:25 I don't get it.

Joe Rogan 49:26 They used to get these guys that would come from Nepal to this chili ... There was a place called Chili My Soul in Encino.

Mark Normand 49:31 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 49:31 And it was crazy how hot this guy would make his chili.

Mark Normand 49:35 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 49:35 I mean, fucking insane. He had different levels, like level one, level two. I forget what the number system was, but he had this one level that was so fucking insanely hot. He would let you try it, but they would give you a tiny little paper cup.

Mark Normand 49:48 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 49:48 They'd be like, "This is all you get." Your tongue would go numb.

Mark Normand 49:51 (sighs)

Joe Rogan 49:51 You couldn't stop sneezing.

Mark Normand 49:52 Was this the fun?

Joe Rogan 49:53 Well, he told me these guys from Nepal came in, ate that, and were pouring more hot sauce on top of it.

Mark Normand 49:58 Jesus.

Joe Rogan 49:58 I was like, "There's no way."

Mark Normand 49:59 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 50:00 He goes, "I'm telling you, they just have a different thing."

Mark Normand 50:02 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 50:03 Their system is set up differently. They can just eat it when you can't.

Mark Normand 50:06 I love hot sauce. You know, I'm from New Orleans, you know, we grew up on that shit. But I don't, uh, I don't get the painful stuff.

Joe Rogan 50:11 Yeah. It seems-

Mark Normand 50:12 It's almost like a risk fun thing, like jumping out of a plane or something.

Joe Rogan 50:15 Well, I feel like some people don't feel things the same way.

Mark Normand 50:19 Oh, well, that's for sure. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 50:21 For sure, right? It has to be.

Mark Normand 50:22 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 50:23 Like, like, uh, you know, d- people have different tastes in art. Like, some things that I think are garbage, other people are willing to pay thousands of dollars for, like, "This is amazing."

Mark Normand 50:32 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 50:32 You know? Like, there's things that they, they resonate with some people, but other people, the other people think they're trash.

Mark Normand 50:38 Yeah, but I think a lot of that is, uh, BS. They just want their friends to think they know-

Joe Rogan 50:42 Hmm.

Mark Normand 50:42 ... they wanna seem cultured. But I, I see what you're saying, but I think there's a lot of art that's just about the image.

Joe Rogan 50:47 Yeah, there's a little bit of that. Okay, but what about music then? Like take-

Mark Normand 50:50 Same thing.

Joe Rogan 50:50 ... think about the radical differences between jazz and, uh, say hip hop.

Mark Normand 50:54 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 50:54 Like, there's definite devotees for both.

Mark Normand 50:57 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 50:57 Both jazz and hip hop, and they can't be more mutually ... more different.

Mark Normand 51:02 Yeah, I like both.

Joe Rogan 51:03 Yeah. I like both too, but they're so fucking different.

Mark Normand 51:06 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 51:06 Like, some people would love one and hate the other, right?

Mark Normand 51:09 Totally.

Joe Rogan 51:10 Totally.

Mark Normand 51:10 My dad.

Joe Rogan 51:11 So that's, like, a just a taste, like, appreciation for things.

Mark Normand 51:14 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 51:14 But is there that much variation in taste buds?

Mark Normand 51:17 Mm, I think so.

Joe Rogan 51:18 'Cause there must be. There must be.

Mark Normand 51:20 I-

Joe Rogan 51:20 'Cause there's things I love that other people think are disgusting.

Mark Normand 51:23 Well, they say you eat, you taste what your mom is eating as a, as a fetus. Like, that's the first-

Joe Rogan 51:28 Wow.

Mark Normand 51:28 ... introduction to, like, you know, preference.

Joe Rogan 51:30 Hmm.

Mark Normand 51:31 And I think that has a lot to do with it. My friend from Whitman, Mass, Joe List, we have a podcast together.

Joe Rogan 51:36 I know that guy.

Mark Normand 51:37 Yeah, you know Joe. He eats like a nine-year-old.

Joe Rogan 51:40 (laughs)

Mark Normand 51:40 He eats, like, hot dogs and, uh-

Joe Rogan 51:43 (laughs)

Mark Normand 51:43 ... ice cream and burgers and, you know, fried chicken. Now he's introduced pussy.

Joe Rogan 51:47 Whoa.

Mark Normand 51:48 But he's eating, he eat ... And I love zucchini, I love avocado, I love, uh, weird shit. I want, I want all of it. I want, I want Indian food, I want, uh, uh, Mexican and hot sauce and all that. But he's like, "Ah, it's crazy, that's, that's too much." And I'm like, "How can you ... " And he just grew up with pizza and birthday cake and chips.

Joe Rogan 52:07 Hmm.

Mark Normand 52:07 Whereas my mom is a foodie cunt, so she had all kinds of weird stews going-

Joe Rogan 52:12 (laughs) She's a foodie cunt.

Mark Normand 52:14 ... and, uh ... I mean, my mom would cook-

Joe Rogan 52:15 She's-

Mark Normand 52:15 ... anything. I think she's like a Depression-era whore 'cause she would have, like, a fridge with, like, a chicken bones and a, and a box of cream and she would make something.

Joe Rogan 52:23 Oh, that's hilarious.

Mark Normand 52:24 Oh, yeah.

Narrator 52:26 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 52:26 Yeah, I'm the same, man. I love different kinds of food. I love Indian food, man.

Mark Normand 52:30 Love Indian.

Joe Rogan 52:31 I've been on, been on an Indian food kick lately. Thai food.

Mark Normand 52:33 Love Thai is-

Joe Rogan 52:34 Yeah.

Mark Normand 52:34 ... the best Asian, I think.

Joe Rogan 52:35 I think so too. Yeah.

Mark Normand 52:36 Food and people.

Joe Rogan 52:37 My favorite. Whoa.

Mark Normand 52:38 Just kidding.

Joe Rogan 52:38 Yeah. Well, have you ever been?

Mark Normand 52:40 Thai?

Joe Rogan 52:40 Yeah. To Thailand.

Mark Normand 52:41 No, I've been to China.

Joe Rogan 52:42 Super nice people.

Mark Normand 52:43 No Thai.

Joe Rogan 52:43 Thailand's, like, the nicest people you're ever gonna encounter. It's strange how nice they are.

Mark Normand 52:47 Really?

Joe Rogan 52:47 Everybody's so friendly.

Mark Normand 52:49 Best-looking Asian too, I think.

Joe Rogan 52:50 They look pretty hot.

Mark Normand 52:51 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 52:53 But you might, you know, you might be catching the wrong gender.

Mark Normand 52:56 Oh.

Joe Rogan 52:57 That's, that's a deal there.

Mark Normand 52:58 Well, gender's a construct.

Joe Rogan 52:59 It is. And there's the best proof of it. (laughs)

Mark Normand 53:04 (laughs) That's a good point.

Joe Rogan 53:05 They also figured out the best way to kick people in the legs.

Mark Normand 53:08 Ah.

Joe Rogan 53:08 Like Thai boxing.

Mark Normand 53:10 Interesting.

Joe Rogan 53:10 Elbows, the best elbows, knees, and leg kicks.

Mark Normand 53:13 Is that Thai?

Joe Rogan 53:14 Yeah, it's Thai.

Mark Normand 53:14 I thought Brazilian had-

Joe Rogan 53:15 Muay Thai.

Mark Normand 53:15 ... that cornered. Oh, Muay Thai.

Joe Rogan 53:17 No, that's ... Yeah, Muay Thai.

Mark Normand 53:18 Of course.

Joe Rogan 53:18 The Brazilians is jujitsu.

Mark Normand 53:20 Right.

Joe Rogan 53:20 They figured, they've ... The Brazilians figured out jujitsu and the Thais figured out kickboxing.

Mark Normand 53:24 Aha. What about Krav Maga, is that any good?

Joe Rogan 53:26 Sure. Yeah. Definitely.

Mark Normand 53:27 I mean, you don't hear much about Krav.

Joe Rogan 53:28 Well, it's a combination, it's a self-defense system. The, the, uh ... I believe it was created for the Israeli military.

Mark Normand 53:34 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 53:35 But what it essentially is, is the best aspects of all these different martial arts, like a Jeet Kune Do, like a Jewish Jeet Kune Do.

Mark Normand 53:42 Mmm.

Joe Rogan 53:42 Bruce Lee's idea of Jeet Kune Do is, like, you take what's useful from whatever martial art and combine them. With Krav Maga, is, there's some of them, you know, some are more striking based, some are more grappling based in terms of, like, what they teach in their classes, but it's essentially a combination of-... uh, striking arts and grappling arts.

Mark Normand 54:00 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 54:01 Whether it's jujitsu techniques, along with karate techniques, Muay Thai techniques. So they, they do, uh, they do real martial arts. It's like-

Mark Normand 54:08 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 54:08 ... you, you, you see a Krav Maga expert. Like, they're go- you go, "Oh, well, that guy is a real martial artist."

Mark Normand 54:14 Oh, okay.

Joe Rogan 54:15 It's not like, it's not like watching those, some of those Kung Fu people that do wacky shit-

Mark Normand 54:17 Right, right.

Joe Rogan 54:18 ... where you're like, "I don't think that's real."

Mark Normand 54:19 It's just noises.

Joe Rogan 54:20 You're just touching the guy in the chest-

Mark Normand 54:22 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 54:22 ... and the guy's falling down. What they're doing is real stuff.

Mark Normand 54:24 Okay.

Joe Rogan 54:24 So it's just, they just combined it.

Mark Normand 54:26 Isn't it funny how the Jews really flipped when they got to America? You go to Israel and it's like chiseled, tan, tall, full head of silky hair, hot lady. And then in, in America it's just like diners and banks.

Joe Rogan 54:39 What happened?

Mark Normand 54:39 What do you think?

Joe Rogan 54:40 I don't know.

Mark Normand 54:41 Uh, allergies and, uh, you know, stuff like that, and crazy moms.

Joe Rogan 54:46 Well, I don't know anything about the Jewish lineage, the genetic lineage, but I would imagine there's a difference between the European Jews and the Israeli Jews.

Mark Normand 54:53 Ah-ha. But it's, uh, something about America. Look at African American Black or African Black, and then African Americans, very different.

Joe Rogan 55:00 Hmm.

Mark Normand 55:01 You know? I think it's something-

Joe Rogan 55:02 American in general.

Mark Normand 55:03 Yeah, it's America, I think. You do, you can do it with almost every group. Like-

Joe Rogan 55:07 Italians.

Mark Normand 55:07 ... Italians.

Joe Rogan 55:08 Their food's different here.

Mark Normand 55:09 Yes.

Joe Rogan 55:09 Like, uh, spaghetti and meatballs, you would think that's Italian. That doesn't even exist over there.

Mark Normand 55:13 Exactly.

Joe Rogan 55:14 Yeah.

Mark Normand 55:14 Exactly. Yeah, their pizza's not like our shitty triangular mess.

Joe Rogan 55:18 Yeah.

Mark Normand 55:19 You know? And just the people.

Joe Rogan 55:19 Yeah, their food is very fish oriented-

Mark Normand 55:21 Yes.

Joe Rogan 55:22 ... very light. The meals are like these long experiences where you sit down for multiple courses.

Mark Normand 55:26 Right, right.

Joe Rogan 55:27 Yeah.

Mark Normand 55:27 And we got all kinds of ... we got Olive Garden.

Joe Rogan 55:29 Yeah.

Mark Normand 55:30 That's what I, that's what we did do it, breadsticks.

Joe Rogan 55:32 Well, I think that's probably the price you pay for being competitive, right?

Mark Normand 55:36 I guess.

Joe Rogan 55:36 Because if you go to Italy, they don't have a lot of industry. Most th- I mean, when you go to the touristy places, of course, it's all tourists, but you gotta think what chunk of their economy is based on people visiting Italy? It must be enormous.

Mark Normand 55:49 Yeah, it's gotta be hu- I mean, I've been there, just to see the Colosseum and all that.

Joe Rogan 55:52 Yeah, it's gotta be an enormous sum of money.

Mark Normand 55:55 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 55:55 I mean, it has to be like, I would say it's probably like 50% of their economy or something crazy-

Mark Normand 55:59 Right.

Joe Rogan 55:59 ... is people visiting them.

Mark Normand 56:00 Big on the catcalling over there.

Joe Rogan 56:02 There's, this country is, they are real big.

Mark Normand 56:04 Oh, yeah (laughs) .

Joe Rogan 56:05 Yeah, they, they go hard in the paint.

Mark Normand 56:07 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 56:07 But this country's-

Mark Normand 56:08 Cultural.

Joe Rogan 56:08 This country is like frantic. We're like the most frantic ants at the center of the colony just-

Mark Normand 56:14 Money, money, business, business, business.

Joe Rogan 56:16 Money, money, money, business, business, business.

Mark Normand 56:16 Yeah. Corporate, corporate, corporate, chains.

Joe Rogan 56:19 Especially somewhere like New York, right?

Mark Normand 56:21 Oh, dude.

Joe Rogan 56:21 It's stacked, everybody's stacked on top of each other.

Mark Normand 56:23 Yeah, I mean, I saw a little bit of the real New York, and now it's just Pinkberries, Duane Reades, and Chase Bank.

Joe Rogan 56:29 Ah, you missed it.

Mark Normand 56:29 It's crazy. I saw a little, but that's also when I was getting robbed, you know? Everything in this, there's a theme to this episode and, and it's the, it's the good and the bad. There's a balance.

Joe Rogan 56:37 Yeah.

Mark Normand 56:37 You get mugged, uh, you get spit on, you get catcalled, but then you get the, the Pinkberry.

Joe Rogan 56:42 Juda Friedlander's been there forever, and he told me that when he first moved there, it was like all artists.

Mark Normand 56:47 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 56:48 And he said now it's all bankers.

Mark Normand 56:49 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 56:50 It's like it's so weird how it happened.

Mark Normand 56:51 It's, it's kooky.

Joe Rogan 56:53 Guys rolling through downtown in Lamborghinis.

Mark Normand 56:55 Yeah, there's a lot of that now.

Joe Rogan 56:57 That's so weird.

Mark Normand 56:57 It's very odd, and like neighborhoods you go to before had like this cool dive bar, and now it's this wacky condo that's all glass and futuristic, and you're like, "What the fuck is this? When did this pop up?"

Joe Rogan 57:07 Yeah.

Mark Normand 57:08 I bought a moped. I love this thing. I'm zipping all over Manhattan. I don't know why more people aren't buying mopeds in New York. I mean, it's perfect for Manhattan. Manhattan is 14 miles long, two miles wide, it's just Moped City, and I'm seeing ... I'm, I'm the only guy out there. I feel like I beat the system. I'm jumping from spot. I did six sets the other night just jumping around on a moped.

Joe Rogan 57:27 Really?

Mark Normand 57:27 Yeah, it's the best. You park it right on the sidewalk, put a lock on it, you run in, run out, no parking, no tickets, no garages.

Joe Rogan 57:34 Do you worry about getting hit?

Mark Normand 57:35 I do, but I, you know, you gotta live, man. I do-

Joe Rogan 57:38 (sighs)

Mark Normand 57:38 I'm just living.

Joe Rogan 57:38 You're just living.

Mark Normand 57:39 Yeah, and I'm in the, I'm going through red lights, I'm in the bike lane, I'm in the real lane, I'm all over the road.

Joe Rogan 57:44 (laughs)

Mark Normand 57:44 And I got a podcast in my ear, I'm listening to, you know, uh, uh, Jim Jefferies or something while I'm zipping around, uh, Malcolm Gladwell, you name it, and it's great.

Joe Rogan 57:53 Wow.

Mark Normand 57:53 I forgot my point.

Joe Rogan 57:54 Do you have a helmet on?

Mark Normand 57:55 No, I gotta get a helmet.

Joe Rogan 57:56 Jesus, bro.

Mark Normand 57:57 Well, come on.

Joe Rogan 57:58 You're not using a helmet?

Mark Normand 57:59 Look at this hair. I can't flatten that.

Joe Rogan 58:01 You don't ... Beautiful, beautiful hair.

Mark Normand 58:01 Thank you, thank you.

Joe Rogan 58:02 You don't have to wear a helmet in New York? You're in Manhattan?

Mark Normand 58:04 Oh, I, I see cops, I peel off.

Joe Rogan 58:06 (laughs)

Mark Normand 58:06 I go off to the left. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 58:07 So you're doing it w- illegally (laughs) .

Mark Normand 58:09 Yeah, yeah, but I'm getting around, man.

Joe Rogan 58:11 (laughs)

Mark Normand 58:11 I'm getting more material worked out th- than ever before.

Joe Rogan 58:14 Hmm.

Mark Normand 58:14 And, you know, the c- this city is so beautiful. Like I- I'm seeing like, oh my god, Times Square at night, then you turn off like, oh, I'm on Fifth Avenue and then you're like there's Grand Central and there's, there's Alphabet City, there's the West Village, there's the arch in Washington Square Park. It's so pretty and I got the wind in my hair and it's fall and ...

Joe Rogan 58:29 Wow.

Mark Normand 58:30 I love this thing, man. I, I highly recommend getting a moped and you go to Italy, you go to Rome, everybody's on a moped.

Joe Rogan 58:36 Yeah?

Mark Normand 58:36 Why aren't we doing it? And I'm not, I don't want to do it. I feel like I, I got in early, but-

Joe Rogan 58:41 So are you the only one on a moped?

Mark Normand 58:42 I'm the only comic mopedding.

Joe Rogan 58:43 Do you see other people on mopeds? Do you give-

Mark Normand 58:45 I, uh-

Joe Rogan 58:45 ... each other a nod?

Mark Normand 58:46 It's just me and Chinese delivery drivers.

Joe Rogan 58:48 Do you give them a wink and a nod?

Mark Normand 58:49 They don't know my t- my people and they don't care.

Joe Rogan 58:53 (laughs)

Mark Normand 58:53 They're just zipping along with their noodles and moving on. They don't care about me.

Joe Rogan 58:57 Do they have DoorDash in New York? They must, right?

Mark Normand 59:00 They might. I don't know what that is.

Joe Rogan 59:01 It's everywhere.

Mark Normand 59:02 But they might. I think it's seamless-

Joe Rogan 59:03 It's one of those delivery s- 'cause you call the restaurant-

Mark Normand 59:05 Oh yeah, I'm sure.

Joe Rogan 59:05 ... and then you, you get it off your app.

Mark Normand 59:07 Everybody does that shit. You can see on-

Joe Rogan 59:08 Isn't that amazing?

Mark Normand 59:09 ... on Saturday all the hangover people getting their delivery.

Joe Rogan 59:12 What a genius idea 'cause everybody before was trying to figure out like, "God, why don't they deliver? I wish they'd deliver."

Mark Normand 59:17 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 59:17 And now a company said, "We'll do it."

Mark Normand 59:18 McDonald's delivers.

Joe Rogan 59:20 Wow.

Mark Normand 59:21 It's kooky, man.

Joe Rogan 59:22 McDonald's delivers.

Mark Normand 59:22 Weed delivers. Everything is delivery.

Joe Rogan 59:24 How lazy do you have to be? We can't e- I feel like if you're gonna torture your body with McDonald's, at the very least, you should get out of the house and go get it.

Mark Normand 59:30 I agree, I agree. That's-

Joe Rogan 59:32 Just go earn it.

Mark Normand 59:32 ... that's the peak of laziness.

Joe Rogan 59:34 Jamie's saying, "Nope, get it delivered."

Mark Normand 59:36 Uh.

Narrator 59:36 All about time.

Joe Rogan 59:37 You don't have enough time? It's all about time?

Narrator 59:38 Yeah, you get to buy time, yeah, like (clears throat) -

Joe Rogan 59:39 Right, that's true.

Narrator 59:39 ... on your way home, like order it and it can meet you there almost.

Mark Normand 59:42 Ah, you got a point. I like time.

Narrator 59:44 Don't spend that half an hour in line, half an hour in traffic here. Fuck that.

Joe Rogan 59:47 Yeah.

Mark Normand 59:47 Isn't it-

Joe Rogan 59:48 That's a good point.

Mark Normand 59:48 ... kooky to think about when our parents were kids, how much time they spent on just getting somewhere or just writing a letter and then going to mail the letter, buying the stamp, and then going to the post-

Joe Rogan 59:59 Hmm.

Mark Normand 59:59 ... and we can knock all that shit out with (click) one email?

Joe Rogan 1:00:02 Yeah.

Mark Normand 1:00:03 D- All ... So think about all the time you've accumulated just from not doing that one thing-

Joe Rogan 1:00:08 Yeah.

Mark Normand 1:00:08 ... let alone Ubering and, uh, flights. Remember you used to call the travel agency? Now you can just (snaps fingers) boop, I got an app. I got a Delta app.

Joe Rogan 1:00:17 Whoa.

Mark Normand 1:00:17 It's ama- ... That's, that's so many minutes counting over and over through your whole life, so we can do pods, we can do comedy, we can do martial art, we can go to the gym. Before, people did one thing, you had Jack LaLanne, you know, he was just a workout guy, that was it. Now you're a fucking renaissance guy. You're all over the road, you got 12 hobbies and, and two kids. You're living.

Joe Rogan 1:00:37 I've got three kids.

Mark Normand 1:00:38 And you're... Three? Sorry, shit, I thought one died.

Joe Rogan 1:00:40 (laughs)

Mark Normand 1:00:40 But (laughs) , you know, you're on the road as well. I mean, we can do so much more because of all the time.

Joe Rogan 1:00:45 Yeah, you can do a lot more. Yep.

Mark Normand 1:00:45 It's pretty amazing. You can get a, a shirt. "Oh, I like that shirt." Boom, it's at my house tomorrow.

Joe Rogan 1:00:49 One click, Amazon.

Mark Normand 1:00:50 That's amazing. We, we got it-

Joe Rogan 1:00:51 It's incredible.

Mark Normand 1:00:52 We're in a good time except for all the complaining. It's funny how you complain more when things are going great. The better things are, more people complain.

Joe Rogan 1:00:59 I think the problem is more people have access to something that can broadca- broadcast their complaint. That's what it is.

Mark Normand 1:01:05 Sure, sure.

Joe Rogan 1:01:05 It's not just that more people complain than ever before.

Mark Normand 1:01:08 I think... You go to some poor town in India, I think they're... Even when they show the African kids with the distended belly, none of them are going, "This sucks! I hate it here!" They're still just sad. They're not complaining.

Joe Rogan 1:01:18 Right. Right.

Mark Normand 1:01:18 You go to a, an Indian town, I think, I think they're happier than we are.

Joe Rogan 1:01:21 I think-

Mark Normand 1:01:22 Ironically.

Joe Rogan 1:01:22 I just think it's a broadcast issue.

Mark Normand 1:01:24 I don't... I think that hurts it.

Joe Rogan 1:01:25 I think it's a social media thing. Wait, I don't think it hurts it, I think that it is-

Mark Normand 1:01:28 I'm with you.

Joe Rogan 1:01:28 That's the, that's where the signal's coming from. Otherwise, you would just be... These whiny people have always existed, we just didn't encounter them as, as frequently.

Mark Normand 1:01:35 Sure, but I think the more... I'm s- I, I, I think we're arguing a different point. I'm saying the more you have, the more you complain.

Joe Rogan 1:01:41 Yes.

Mark Normand 1:01:41 Like, who's gonna complain more, the poor family out to dinner at the shitty restaurant or the rich cunt at the nice restaurant-

Joe Rogan 1:01:47 (laughs)

Mark Normand 1:01:47 ... who goes, "Oh, my, my Dom P is f- is warm."

Joe Rogan 1:01:50 Yes.

Mark Normand 1:01:50 "It's room temperature." She's got more, so she's got more to complain about. Whereas the other family's just happy to be out at, at, uh, you know, Sizzler.

Joe Rogan 1:01:57 Yeah, that is definitely true. Yeah, we agree on that.

Mark Normand 1:02:00 But the, the, the access to complain and now we can hear about it. Like Dave Chappelle said after his white supremacist sketch that he did, you know, with the blind guy-

Joe Rogan 1:02:08 Mm-hmm.

Mark Normand 1:02:08 ... he said he got bags and bags of letters about how this is wrong and racist and offensive and you should be ashamed of yourself. Bags of letters.

Joe Rogan 1:02:17 (inhales deeply)

Mark Normand 1:02:17 And you're like, "Oh, we didn't even know about that," 'cause it, you just didn't, that didn't come up. Now it'd be just a million tweets.

Joe Rogan 1:02:22 Yes.

Mark Normand 1:02:22 It's pre-Twitter, so...

Joe Rogan 1:02:23 Well, you know, it's like levels of outrage and ambition to get your point across.

Mark Normand 1:02:28 Right.

Joe Rogan 1:02:28 Like, j- how much ambition do you have? Do you really wanna write that letter, get it in a le- an envelope, get the stamp, find his address, send it to him, hope he reads it, you wrote it all out by hand? Really?

Mark Normand 1:02:38 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:02:39 Like, most people aren't. But those are also the people that probably would obsessively tweet, "Mark Normand, you fucking piece of shit."