Joe Rogan Experience #1358 - Sober October 3

1. 0:00 – 2:03

   Bert’s $1,000 helicopter hack to beat LA traffic

   1. JRJoe Rogan0:00

      ... skipped traffic in LA. There's no way he's not doing that again. We're live.

   2. BKBert Kreischer0:03

      Dude, yeah. Dude, 10 minutes, LAX to Burbank.

   3. ASAri Shaffir0:06

      What are you doing, helicopters?

   4. BKBert Kreischer0:07

      I rented a helicopter last night.

   5. ASAri Shaffir0:09

      You rented one?

   6. TSTom Segura0:09

      10 minutes. (laughs)

   7. ASAri Shaffir0:10

      How much did it cost?

   8. BKBert Kreischer0:11

      A thousand dollars.

   9. JRJoe Rogan0:12

      It cost you more than that.

   10. BKBert Kreischer0:13

       A thousand dollars.

   11. ASAri Shaffir0:14

       To go where? Where you going?

   12. BKBert Kreischer0:15

       A thousand dollars.

   13. JRJoe Rogan0:16

       LAX... So, to skip coming up?

   14. BKBert Kreischer0:18

       Check out Blade.

   15. JRJoe Rogan0:19

       Yeah.

   16. TSTom Segura0:19

       Wait, why do you, why do you wanna go-

   17. BKBert Kreischer0:21

       I was-

   18. TSTom Segura0:21

       ... oh, because Burbank's closer to your house?

   19. BKBert Kreischer0:22

       Because I'm only, I'm only home for less than 24 hours th- this trip.

   20. TSTom Segura0:25

       Yeah.

   21. BKBert Kreischer0:25

       And I was panicking, and then I was like, "F- what does it cost to get a helicopter?" My assistant, Andrew, my cousin, Andrew, was like, uh, he's like, "Let's check." And he's like, "It's actually, it's not that expensive." He's like, "It's a thousand dollars." And I was like... I go, "Fuck it, let's shoot some videos. We'll get in the helicopter."

   22. TSTom Segura0:38

       Wow.

   23. BKBert Kreischer0:38

       And so we just shot a video to promote dates, but-

   24. TSTom Segura0:40

       What does it cost to just fly straight to Burbank?

   25. BKBert Kreischer0:43

       You can't fly fr- from LAX to Burbank.

   26. ASAri Shaffir0:45

       So-

   27. JRJoe Rogan0:45

       So, I mean-

   28. TSTom Segura0:46

       From wherever you were.

   29. JRJoe Rogan0:46

       Yeah, but you gotta connect, right?

   30. ASAri Shaffir0:47

       Explain to me what you're doing it for again.
2. 2:03 – 2:58

   Environment talk: meat vs. emissions and “the world is burning” jokes

   1. TSTom Segura2:03

      Our earth is dying.

   2. JRJoe Rogan2:04

      Yeah.

   3. BKBert Kreischer2:05

      (laughs)

   4. ASAri Shaffir2:05

      (laughs)

   5. TSTom Segura2:06

      (laughs)

   6. BKBert Kreischer2:06

      We're having private helicopter rides.

   7. ASAri Shaffir2:08

      No, I, I was reading an article about that today. Do you know, uh, like people keep saying, you know, we need to stop eating meat to save the environment?

   8. JRJoe Rogan2:15

      Yeah.

   9. ASAri Shaffir2:15

      Do you know that, uh, greenhouse gases, only 9% of all greenhouse gases, 9%, are because of agriculture? Less than half of that is because of mea- of meat.

   10. TSTom Segura2:26

       What is it from?

   11. ASAri Shaffir2:28

       Less than half of that is because of beef. So you're, you're literally dealing with, like, 3%.

   12. TSTom Segura2:33

       What's all the greenhouse gas emissions from, then?

   13. ASAri Shaffir2:35

       Pollution.

   14. TSTom Segura2:36

       Oh.

   15. ASAri Shaffir2:36

       Cars, trucks-

   16. BKBert Kreischer2:36

       Vietnam, Vietnam.

   17. ASAri Shaffir2:37

       ... vehicles.

   18. TSTom Segura2:37

       Yeah.

   19. ASAri Shaffir2:37

       Helicopters.

   20. BKBert Kreischer2:38

       Let's talk about the third world countries.

   21. TSTom Segura2:39

       Helicopter rides. (laughs)

   22. JRJoe Rogan2:39

       Big helicopter rides.

   23. BKBert Kreischer2:40

       Helicopters. Dude, you go to Vietnam and they're burning their trash in their front yard.

   24. ASAri Shaffir2:43

       Yeah.

   25. TSTom Segura2:43

       Oh my God, that's crazy.

   26. BKBert Kreischer2:45

       Look, like, uh, their, wha- everything we can do to this country-

   27. TSTom Segura2:47

       Plastic, everything.

   28. BKBert Kreischer2:47

       ... is a, it is a piss on a fire compared to what is happening in the rest of the world.

   29. ASAri Shaffir2:52

       Well-

   30. TSTom Segura2:52

       Hmm.
3. 2:58 – 4:13

   Ari’s elk hunt and the “too much meat” freezer lifestyle

   1. BKBert Kreischer2:58

      Coming from the guy who just shot a t- one-ton elk. (laughs)

   2. ASAri Shaffir3:01

      Well, that animal's a wild animal.

   3. BKBert Kreischer3:02

      Yeah.

   4. ASAri Shaffir3:02

      It has nothing to do with animal agriculture.

   5. JRJoe Rogan3:04

      Yeah.

   6. ASAri Shaffir3:05

      He was probably about 800 pounds.

   7. TSTom Segura3:06

      Coming at us.

   8. BKBert Kreischer3:07

      No, he wasn't.

   9. JRJoe Rogan3:08

      800 pounds.

   10. BKBert Kreischer3:08

       That is so cool.

   11. ASAri Shaffir3:10

       Oh.

   12. BKBert Kreischer3:10

       You gotta carry that out.

   13. ASAri Shaffir3:11

       Yeah, well, we got lucky that we could get a ranger to it, so we had to quarter it up and then we put it in the back of one of those four-wheel drive things and then-

   14. TSTom Segura3:17

       And dragged it?

   15. ASAri Shaffir3:17

       ... we got it out of there.

   16. JRJoe Rogan3:18

       This is recently? You just this week?

   17. ASAri Shaffir3:19

       Just a couple of days ago.

   18. TSTom Segura3:20

       Yeah, just got it.

   19. JRJoe Rogan3:20

       Oh, where was this one?

   20. ASAri Shaffir3:21

       Utah, in the mountains.

   21. BKBert Kreischer3:22

       In his front yard.

   22. ASAri Shaffir3:23

       You do that a lot, right?

   23. BKBert Kreischer3:23

       In his front yard.

   24. ASAri Shaffir3:24

       I do it a couple of times a year.

   25. TSTom Segura3:25

       (laughs) Yeah.

   26. BKBert Kreischer3:26

       It's where I keep all my meat.

   27. JRJoe Rogan3:27

       He has a shop out there. Yeah.

   28. ASAri Shaffir3:28

       You guys want some meat?

   29. BKBert Kreischer3:28

       I definitely want some elk, I really do.

   30. ASAri Shaffir3:30

       Yeah, yeah? I'll, I'll give you some elk sausage before you leave here. I got a bunch here.
4. 4:13 – 7:30

   Bert’s health wake-up call: fatty liver scare and rapid weight loss

   1. ASAri Shaffir4:13

      Do you eat healthy?

   2. BKBert Kreischer4:14

      Uh, I am now.

   3. ASAri Shaffir4:14

      Sometimes? You are now?

   4. BKBert Kreischer4:16

      I am now. I lost... I'm down 21 pounds.

   5. ASAri Shaffir4:18

      Really?

   6. BKBert Kreischer4:19

      Yeah, but-

   7. JRJoe Rogan4:19

      Fuck.

   8. ASAri Shaffir4:19

      What did you do, just take a big shit?

   9. BKBert Kreischer4:21

      I went to the cardiologist and he was like, "This is done."

   10. ASAri Shaffir4:25

       Really?

   11. BKBert Kreischer4:25

       Yeah, he's like, "Hey, man, you're getting a fatty liver." I heard you talking with the Black Stripes.

   12. ASAri Shaffir4:29

       Yes.

   13. BKBert Kreischer4:30

       About that.

   14. TSTom Segura4:30

       White Stripes.

   15. BKBert Kreischer4:31

       Or the White... No, not the White Stripes.

   16. ASAri Shaffir4:32

       Black Keys.

   17. JRJoe Rogan4:33

       Black Keys.

   18. BKBert Kreischer4:34

       Black Keys.

   19. ASAri Shaffir4:34

       You're getting-

   20. JRJoe Rogan4:34

       Always with the black and the white.

   21. BKBert Kreischer4:35

       (laughs)

   22. ASAri Shaffir4:35

       He's getting-

   23. TSTom Segura4:36

       So...

   24. ASAri Shaffir4:37

       (laughs) He's the racist comic.

   25. TSTom Segura4:39

       (laughs) That's so, that's so disgusting.

   26. BKBert Kreischer4:40

       Let's not keep that going.

   27. ASAri Shaffir4:41

       (laughs) It's done, it's done, it's over.

   28. BKBert Kreischer4:42

       It sucks. It's the worst-

   29. JRJoe Rogan4:44

       You're the fuhrer of funny.

   30. BKBert Kreischer4:45

       ... and it's back.
5. 7:30 – 26:51

   The Molly incident: Ari secretly doses Bert before a podcast

   1. ASAri Shaffir7:30

      (laughs) Did you post through you were getting an IV because-

   2. BKBert Kreischer7:33

      Oh, that, by the way, wait til I tell you what happened that backfired on me big fucking time.

   3. Why?

   4. ASAri Shaffir7:39

      Wait.

   5. BKBert Kreischer7:39

      Why'd you need it though?

   6. Let's start with, let's start with Al, with Ari slipping me molly.

   7. What?

   8. Let's start there.

   9. (laughs)

   10. ASAri Shaffir7:45

       You slipped him molly?

   11. BKBert Kreischer7:46

       Yeah.

   12. ASAri Shaffir7:47

       Dude, what are you doing?

   13. BKBert Kreischer7:48

       (laughs)

   14. (laughs)

   15. ASAri Shaffir7:49

       What are you doing?

   16. BKBert Kreischer7:50

       How much?

   17. En- enough.

   18. ASAri Shaffir7:53

       Interesting.

   19. BKBert Kreischer7:53

       It's the dose.

   20. ASAri Shaffir7:53

       How did you do it? Where was this?

   21. BKBert Kreischer7:55

       It was at his house. It was his podcast.

   22. It was at, it was at my house, in front of my children.

   23. ASAri Shaffir7:57

       Oh. Well.

   24. BKBert Kreischer7:57

       We had a, we had a shot before-

   25. ASAri Shaffir7:59

       At least it's in a safe place.

   26. BKBert Kreischer7:59

       We had a shot before we started. I had to empty out a capsule and fucking put it into his shot.

   27. ASAri Shaffir8:02

       Are you outta your mind?

   28. BKBert Kreischer8:04

       (laughs) Sure.

   29. ASAri Shaffir8:05

       Are you outta your mind?

   30. BKBert Kreischer8:05

       (laughs) Yeah.
6. 26:51 – 28:48

   Consent, trust, and the darker reality of drink-spiking

   1. JRJoe Rogan26:51

      You have ruined me accepting a drink from anyone forever.

   2. ASAri Shaffir26:55

      (laughs)

   3. BKBert Kreischer26:55

      Forever, yeah. I mean, people were coming up with drinks to me.

   4. JRJoe Rogan26:57

      That's not great.

   5. BKBert Kreischer26:57

      I c- I got- I would get scared leaving my drink around.

   6. JRJoe Rogan27:00

      Yeah.

   7. ASAri Shaffir27:00

      Nice.

   8. BKBert Kreischer27:00

      It's fucking crazy.

   9. ASAri Shaffir27:01

      Like a girl, like a lot of girls.

   10. JRJoe Rogan27:02

       Yeah, yeah.

   11. BKBert Kreischer27:02

       Dude, yeah.

   12. ASAri Shaffir27:03

       Yeah, a lot of girls, man, when they go to bars, they get scared taking a drink from a man, and they should.

   13. JRJoe Rogan27:08

       For sure. Yeah, they should.

   14. ASAri Shaffir27:08

       They should.

   15. BKBert Kreischer27:08

       They should.

   16. ASAri Shaffir27:08

       How many people do you know that have been drugged-

   17. BKBert Kreischer27:10

       I know a couple. I know a couple.

   18. ASAri Shaffir27:12

       ... besides Bert?

   19. JRJoe Rogan27:12

       Yeah, I know a- I know a few.

   20. ASAri Shaffir27:13

       I know a bunch of girls.

   21. JRJoe Rogan27:14

       Yeah.

   22. ASAri Shaffir27:14

       I know at least three or four girls that have, like, said something happened, "I gotta get out of here."

   23. BKBert Kreischer27:18

       Yup.

   24. ASAri Shaffir27:18

       And they tell their friends, and then creepy guys, like- like predators moving close, like, "Hey, she's fine. She's fine."

   25. BKBert Kreischer27:25

       (laughs)

   26. JRJoe Rogan27:25

       (laughs) Yeah. There's- there's the guy right there.

   27. BKBert Kreischer27:26

       Hi, spy.

   28. ASAri Shaffir27:26

       (laughs)

   29. JRJoe Rogan27:26

       He was like- he was like-

   30. BKBert Kreischer27:27

       Ghost dad.
7. 28:48 – 29:42

   Resetting Sober October: why they do it and what last year broke

   1. ASAri Shaffir28:48

      But you- you do realize that last year was kind of like the idea of being sober, part of it, was for you.

   2. BKBert Kreischer28:54

      Last year? No.

   3. JRJoe Rogan28:54

      Every year.

   4. BKBert Kreischer28:55

      Two years ago.

   5. JRJoe Rogan28:56

      Two years ago.

   6. BKBert Kreischer28:57

      Two years ago.

   7. ASAri Shaffir28:57

      Well, two years ago was the weight loss thing.

   8. BKBert Kreischer28:58

      No, that was three years ago.

   9. JRJoe Rogan28:59

      No, no, that's when we started it. We- we- yeah.

   10. BKBert Kreischer29:00

       Yeah.

   11. ASAri Shaffir29:00

       Oh, that's right. Two years ago was the whole ...

   12. BKBert Kreischer29:03

       Two years ago was- was a legit ...

   13. ASAri Shaffir29:03

       Two years ago was yoga.

   14. JRJoe Rogan29:04

       The origin of this-

   15. ASAri Shaffir29:05

       Last year was fitness challenge.

   16. BKBert Kreischer29:05

       Two year- yeah.

   17. JRJoe Rogan29:05

       ... was like, "Bert, can you not drink for a ... " right?

   18. ASAri Shaffir29:07

       Yeah.

   19. BKBert Kreischer29:08

       Yeah.

   20. ASAri Shaffir29:08

       But that was def- that was for you though, right?

   21. BKBert Kreischer29:10

       100%.

   22. JRJoe Rogan29:10

       Yeah, it was for him.

   23. BKBert Kreischer29:10

       And by the way, I didn't think- I didn't think I'd be able to do it. And I will say that at the time, I was drinking so fucking much and I didn't ... I was unaware of how much I was drinking. That's what you have to say. And when you guys said that in here, I went ... I kinda, like, woke me up, and I was like, "Fuck, I really am drinking Titos by myself at night g- I just like to go to bed." And it was a great way to cut my drinking 'cause you guys made it comradery-esque, and so I didn't feel like all eyes were on me, and I did it. And it did change the way I drink. It 100% changes the way I drink. Last year-

8. 29:42 – 55:49

   Whoop strap setup, sleep data, and why recovery matters

   1. ASAri Shaffir29:42

      That Whoop strap, that's gonna sh- when it shows you how much you sleep, it's really sobering-

   2. BKBert Kreischer29:46

      Really?

   3. ASAri Shaffir29:46

      ... because you can't lie.

   4. JRJoe Rogan29:47

      Yeah.

   5. ASAri Shaffir29:48

      Like, you look at it, you go, "Oh, four hours and 30 minutes." That's right.

   6. BKBert Kreischer29:50

      You know what I like is it sent me the- it sent me a notification-

   7. ASAri Shaffir29:53

      Mm-hmm.

   8. BKBert Kreischer29:54

      ... that like, like, "You should- should try to get this m-" Like, it was late, and I'm watching TV, and it's like-

   9. ASAri Shaffir29:58

      "Go to sleep, bitch."

   10. BKBert Kreischer29:58

       Yeah, it was like, "Go to bed." "Where's mine? I gotta put it on."

   11. ASAri Shaffir30:01

       It's out there. Go grab it. It's by the pool table.

   12. BKBert Kreischer30:03

       Yeah.

   13. ASAri Shaffir30:04

       (clears throat)

   14. BKBert Kreischer30:05

       Yeah.

   15. ASAri Shaffir30:05

       Yeah, set it up.

   16. BKBert Kreischer30:06

       What, um ... But yeah, and then last year was- last year was more about the competition.

   17. ASAri Shaffir30:12

       Yes. Last year-

   18. BKBert Kreischer30:13

       Uh, sobriety was, like, a- a side thought.

   19. ASAri Shaffir30:15

       Last year got crazy.

   20. BKBert Kreischer30:16

       It's too intense to- to keep doing.

   21. ASAri Shaffir30:17

       That's ... We decided to not do that this year.

   22. BKBert Kreischer30:19

       We got- I can't.

   23. ASAri Shaffir30:20

       Yeah, well-... it's just, uh, the competition was too s- absorbing too much time, and it just-

   24. TSTom Segura30:26

       Fuck, it was hard. It was a lot.

   25. ASAri Shaffir30:28

       It was really hard.

   26. BKBert Kreischer30:29

       It was so hard.

   27. TSTom Segura30:30

       You need drive to make you work out, huh?

   28. ASAri Shaffir30:32

       Well, that's one way of doing it, but I don't think that w- hey, hey, be careful.

   29. BKBert Kreischer30:36

       Yeah, dude.

   30. ASAri Shaffir30:37

       Don't just stab yourself in your lung.

Episode duration: 2:42:48