Joe Rogan Experience #1358 - Sober October 3

1. 0:00 – 15:00

   ... skipped traffic in…

   1. JRJoe Rogan0:00

      ... skipped traffic in LA. There's no way he's not doing that again. We're live.

   2. BKBert Kreischer0:03

      Dude, yeah. Dude, 10 minutes, LAX to Burbank.

   3. ASAri Shaffir0:06

      What are you doing, helicopters?

   4. BKBert Kreischer0:07

      I rented a helicopter last night.

   5. ASAri Shaffir0:09

      You rented one?

   6. TSTom Segura0:09

      10 minutes. (laughs)

   7. ASAri Shaffir0:10

      How much did it cost?

   8. BKBert Kreischer0:11

      A thousand dollars.

   9. JRJoe Rogan0:12

      It cost you more than that.

   10. BKBert Kreischer0:13

       A thousand dollars.

   11. ASAri Shaffir0:14

       To go where? Where you going?

   12. BKBert Kreischer0:15

       A thousand dollars.

   13. JRJoe Rogan0:16

       LAX... So, to skip coming up?

   14. BKBert Kreischer0:18

       Check out Blade.

   15. JRJoe Rogan0:19

       Yeah.

   16. TSTom Segura0:19

       Wait, why do you, why do you wanna go-

   17. BKBert Kreischer0:21

       I was-

   18. TSTom Segura0:21

       ... oh, because Burbank's closer to your house?

   19. BKBert Kreischer0:22

       Because I'm only, I'm only home for less than 24 hours th- this trip.

   20. TSTom Segura0:25

       Yeah.

   21. BKBert Kreischer0:25

       And I was panicking, and then I was like, "F- what does it cost to get a helicopter?" My assistant, Andrew, my cousin, Andrew, was like, uh, he's like, "Let's check." And he's like, "It's actually, it's not that expensive." He's like, "It's a thousand dollars." And I was like... I go, "Fuck it, let's shoot some videos. We'll get in the helicopter."

   22. TSTom Segura0:38

       Wow.

   23. BKBert Kreischer0:38

       And so we just shot a video to promote dates, but-

   24. TSTom Segura0:40

       What does it cost to just fly straight to Burbank?

   25. BKBert Kreischer0:43

       You can't fly fr- from LAX to Burbank.

   26. ASAri Shaffir0:45

       So-

   27. JRJoe Rogan0:45

       So, I mean-

   28. TSTom Segura0:46

       From wherever you were.

   29. JRJoe Rogan0:46

       Yeah, but you gotta connect, right?

   30. ASAri Shaffir0:47

       Explain to me what you're doing it for again.
2. 15:00 – 30:00

   He definitely- …

   1. BKBert Kreischer15:00

      so beautiful.J- he was like a fucking... It was like he was g- like a god.

   2. ASAri Shaffir15:03

      He definitely-

   3. BKBert Kreischer15:04

      You shouldn't do that, Ari.

   4. Yeah.

   5. ASAri Shaffir15:05

      Yeah.

   6. BKBert Kreischer15:05

      Okay, but t- talk about the good parts though.

   7. No, I- it's just-

   8. So, it was beautiful?

   9. ASAri Shaffir15:09

      (laughs)

   10. BKBert Kreischer15:09

       No.

   11. You're like- you're like a guy that raped her, but going, "Yeah, but you like dick, right?"

   12. (laughs)

   13. "So the dick was in you. You like dicks in you."

   14. So talk about how great it was-

   15. ASAri Shaffir15:16

       You were wet.

   16. BKBert Kreischer15:16

       ... with the- with the sun-

   17. You were wet. (laughs)

   18. ... with the sun setting behind Joey Diaz as he's telling these stories of starting comedy.

   19. Yeah, he wants to... (laughs) I mean, you know what he's doing, right? He's like, "See, it was a good night."

   20. It was so great. It was so fun.

   21. I'm- I can't, I can't, I can't co-sign this-

   22. Pull love?

   23. ... 'cause I don't want kids hearing this, going, "Oh, Ari did it. Savage Ari Shaffir."

   24. No, no, kids, don't do it.

   25. "I'm gonna spike my friend's drink."

   26. 'Cause drunk... No, kids, don't do it.

   27. ASAri Shaffir15:37

       Good point. Good point.

   28. BKBert Kreischer15:38

       Yeah.

   29. I can't co-sign it. I can't even release the fucking podcast because I don't want-

   30. (laughs)
3. 30:00 – 45:00

   It's out there. Go…

   1. BKBert Kreischer30:00

      "Where's mine? I gotta put it on."

   2. ASAri Shaffir30:01

      It's out there. Go grab it. It's by the pool table.

   3. BKBert Kreischer30:03

      Yeah.

   4. ASAri Shaffir30:04

      (clears throat)

   5. BKBert Kreischer30:05

      Yeah.

   6. ASAri Shaffir30:05

      Yeah, set it up.

   7. BKBert Kreischer30:06

      What, um ... But yeah, and then last year was- last year was more about the competition.

   8. ASAri Shaffir30:12

      Yes. Last year-

   9. BKBert Kreischer30:13

      Uh, sobriety was, like, a- a side thought.

   10. ASAri Shaffir30:15

       Last year got crazy.

   11. BKBert Kreischer30:16

       It's too intense to- to keep doing.

   12. ASAri Shaffir30:17

       That's ... We decided to not do that this year.

   13. BKBert Kreischer30:19

       We got- I can't.

   14. ASAri Shaffir30:20

       Yeah, well-... it's just, uh, the competition was too s- absorbing too much time, and it just-

   15. TSTom Segura30:26

       Fuck, it was hard. It was a lot.

   16. ASAri Shaffir30:28

       It was really hard.

   17. BKBert Kreischer30:29

       It was so hard.

   18. TSTom Segura30:30

       You need drive to make you work out, huh?

   19. ASAri Shaffir30:32

       Well, that's one way of doing it, but I don't think that w- hey, hey, be careful.

   20. BKBert Kreischer30:36

       Yeah, dude.

   21. ASAri Shaffir30:37

       Don't just stab yourself in your lung.

   22. BKBert Kreischer30:37

       No, no, no, do it up here by the, your shirt.

   23. ASAri Shaffir30:39

       Do it by your neck. Hold it under your chin.

   24. BKBert Kreischer30:42

       (laughs)

   25. (laughs)

   26. ASAri Shaffir30:42

       Hold it under your chin. (laughs)

   27. BKBert Kreischer30:43

       (laughs)

   28. Hold it under you chin. Hey, you know, take your wrists-

   29. (laughs)

   30. ... and, and make your wrists-
4. 45:00 – 54:21

   Right. …

   1. JRJoe Rogan45:00

      it every Sunday or something."

   2. BKBert Kreischer45:01

      Right.

   3. JRJoe Rogan45:01

      So for the month, you challenge yourself on your own to do it twice a week. And at November 1st, you're like, "I took these classes, I read these books, and I ran my hills twice a week."

   4. ASAri Shaffir45:11

      Mm-hmm.

   5. JRJoe Rogan45:11

      Or like, you know, you go, "I wanna, you know, do 100 pushups a day." What... however you wanna do it.

   6. BKBert Kreischer45:16

      50.

   7. JRJoe Rogan45:16

      That way there's a... 50. That way there's like some other physical element of, you know, wellness throughout the month.

   8. BKBert Kreischer45:22

      Okay.

   9. JRJoe Rogan45:22

      Something you challenge yourself to.

   10. ASAri Shaffir45:24

       (clears throat)

   11. JRJoe Rogan45:24

       Yeah.

   12. BKBert Kreischer45:24

       That I'm like, "I think I can do this."

   13. JRJoe Rogan45:25

       I think we're all coming back with a report card.

   14. ASAri Shaffir45:27

       So we do this.

   15. BKBert Kreischer45:27

       Kind of like lent.

   16. JRJoe Rogan45:27

       Basically, yeah.

   17. BKBert Kreischer45:28

       Kind of like lent where you give up something of... uh, that you decide.

   18. JRJoe Rogan45:31

       That's right. Yeah.

   19. BKBert Kreischer45:32

       Like a good Catholic.

   20. ASAri Shaffir45:32

       So you essentially have four things to do if you can only do three, f- m- no more than three of each one. So there has to be four individual things you're doing.

   21. JRJoe Rogan45:40

       That's right, yeah. Yeah. I mean-

   22. BKBert Kreischer45:44

       Four, four things?

   23. JRJoe Rogan45:45

       Four things total.

   24. ASAri Shaffir45:45

       Yeah.

   25. JRJoe Rogan45:46

       Right, because you could do-

   26. ASAri Shaffir45:46

       (clears throat) Right.

   27. JRJoe Rogan45:47

       ... three of the three things.

   28. ASAri Shaffir45:47

       Because you could do yoga-

   29. JRJoe Rogan45:48

       Yeah.

   30. ASAri Shaffir45:48

       ... you could do spin, you could do jujitsu, you could do kickboxing, you could do whatever.

Episode duration: 2:42:48