Joe Rogan Experience #1362 - Lenny Clarke

1. 0:00 – 2:52

   Rogan podcast fame, Boston radio nostalgia, and comedy’s old gatekeepers

   1. JRJoe Rogan0:00

      (singing) Lenny Clarke!

   2. LCLenny Clarke0:03

      That's right.

   3. JRJoe Rogan0:03

      How are you, brother?

   4. LCLenny Clarke0:04

      Now, y- Joe, I got to tell you. Let me start by saying thank you.

   5. JRJoe Rogan0:07

      My pleasure.

   6. LCLenny Clarke0:08

      I, I, I can't believe the amount of people that stopped me since I did your podcast. Because you asked me a couple of years ago. I didn't even know what a podcast was. So I did that from the moment I left here, I went down to Venice Beach, guys were watching the podcast in their car.

   7. JRJoe Rogan0:23

      (laughs)

   8. LCLenny Clarke0:23

      They came out, "Yeah," so I, so then everywhere I go from captains of industry to the homeless guy the other day at Harvard Square. He goes, "Lenny Clarke! I saw you on the Rogan podcast. You were awesome!" And I'm going, "Yo-"

   9. JRJoe Rogan0:32

      Homeless guys have phones now.

   10. LCLenny Clarke0:34

       ... a home- a homeless guy and I'm going, "How did you see it?" He goes, "Oh, I seen it. Seen it on the YouTube." And I'm going- (laughs)

   11. JRJoe Rogan0:39

       (laughs)

   12. LCLenny Clarke0:39

       ... yeah.

   13. JRJoe Rogan0:39

       That's how you know the progress of technology. Homeless guys have phones and they watch YouTube.

   14. LCLenny Clarke0:43

       Oh, oh, oh, so I'm doing Matty Ziegler, he's trying to rush me out of the studio the other day. And I said, "Well, you know, I'm, I'm, I'm not gonna mention you on Rogan." He goes, "Oh my God!" He goes, "You, you talked about me on Rogan. Everyone called in." He was all excited, so he said to say hello.

   15. JRJoe Rogan0:54

       Hello, Matty Ziegler.

   16. LCLenny Clarke0:55

       He said, he said-

   17. JRJoe Rogan0:55

       Matty in the Morning on, in, in Boston.

   18. LCLenny Clarke0:57

       Yeah, yeah, yeah.

   19. JRJoe Rogan0:58

       He, ever since back in the day when I was, uh, delivering newspapers, Matty in the Morning was on the radio.

   20. LCLenny Clarke1:03

       Yeah.

   21. JRJoe Rogan1:03

       I used to listen to him on the radio when I was on my paper route. Him and Charles Laquidara.

   22. LCLenny Clarke1:07

       Oh!

   23. JRJoe Rogan1:08

       The, the mattress, Morning Mattress.

   24. LCLenny Clarke1:09

       The Morning Mattress, yeah, yeah.

   25. JRJoe Rogan1:11

       (laughs)

   26. LCLenny Clarke1:11

       And then, and then Mark Parenteau.

   27. JRJoe Rogan1:12

       Yeah.

   28. LCLenny Clarke1:12

       Who, who-

   29. JRJoe Rogan1:13

       Did Mark pass away?

   30. LCLenny Clarke1:14

       Yes, he did, and I went to see him a week before. He was at the Mass General and I went up to him and he, you know, I had him laughing. And then I said, "Do you have the AIDS?" He goes, "No." So I said, "I'll kiss you goodbye." (laughs)
2. 2:52 – 5:17

   Hecklers, unhinged fans, and staying in control onstage

   1. LCLenny Clarke2:52

      ... our own rules. And, and that's why, like, today, you see how it is. To- today, I, I really enjoy working theaters, but the clubs, you know, the other day, this person heckle me. I hate it. People say, "You're so good with hecklers." You know why? 'Cause I hate them. I don't want to deal with them. I want to do the show.

   2. JRJoe Rogan3:07

      Right.

   3. LCLenny Clarke3:07

      I wanna create, I wanna make something.

   4. JRJoe Rogan3:08

      Yeah.

   5. LCLenny Clarke3:09

      But they s- they throw you off. You're getting going and they're breaking my m- And you say shit that you go, "Oh." And they start crying, you know? And, and you go, you go, "But why are you f- fucking with me? I'm, I'm trying to do a show for you."

   6. JRJoe Rogan3:19

      Yeah, yeah. They don't, they don't-

   7. LCLenny Clarke3:21

      Oh, I had a guy, I had a guy approach me. I'm sorry to interrupt you.

   8. JRJoe Rogan3:23

      No, please.

   9. LCLenny Clarke3:23

      I had a guy, I did a, I think for Dana Farber the other night. Raised more money than they ever had raised. It was great. Everyone's saying, "Oh, thank you so-"

   10. JRJoe Rogan3:30

       What is Dana Farmer?

   11. LCLenny Clarke3:30

       Da- Dana Farber, it's, uh-

   12. JRJoe Rogan3:32

       Farber?

   13. LCLenny Clarke3:32

       ... cancer.

   14. JRJoe Rogan3:33

       Oh, okay.

   15. LCLenny Clarke3:33

       Cancer research. You know, it's like the Jimmy Fund and stuff like that.

   16. JRJoe Rogan3:36

       Okay.

   17. LCLenny Clarke3:36

       So they asked me to do it. I said, "Sure, I'll do it." So it was nice, it was b- big event at Mandarin Oriental. Fantastic, everything. And this guy comes up to me, he goes, "You know, everyone likes you, but I hate you."

   18. JRJoe Rogan3:47

       (laughs)

   19. LCLenny Clarke3:47

       I, (laughs) he goes, "I wanna rip your face off." And I go, "Hey, it's nice to meet you too," right? So he grabs my water, I go, "You can have it," and I walk away to take a picture. So I come back and he goes, "Here's your water." I go, "Oh, y- you can have it." Now he goes, "You know, I don't know why people like you, but I hate you and I wanna rip your face off."

   20. JRJoe Rogan4:04

       Still?

   21. LCLenny Clarke4:04

       I go, "Yeah, we-" Yeah, I said, "We had this conversation." So now people come over.

   22. JRJoe Rogan4:07

       (laughs)

   23. LCLenny Clarke4:07

       "Hey, Lenny, can we talk?" "Get the fuck away from me!" See, he's screaming at people. He goes, "You, you attacked my father on stage 20 years ago on a Thursday night at Granite Links." I'm going, "Hey, pal, I don't remember what I did last Thursday." "Say hi to your father. He's dying!" I go, "Hey, man, I had nothing to do with it. I've been here all night."

   24. JRJoe Rogan4:24

       (laughs)

   25. LCLenny Clarke4:24

       The guy was insa- they eventually had him escorted out by security. It was really wild. But, I mean-

   26. JRJoe Rogan4:30

       Jesus Christ.

   27. LCLenny Clarke4:30

       Yeah, and I'm, and I, you know, I'm in, look-

   28. JRJoe Rogan4:32

       Well, it shows you, hecklers make weak babies.

   29. LCLenny Clarke4:35

       Oh, man, yeah. Well, you know, listen.

   30. JRJoe Rogan4:36

       They make dumb kids.
3. 5:17 – 6:45

   Self-defense digression: the ‘open-hand throat strike’ talk

   1. JRJoe Rogan5:17

      If you're gonna punch someone in the throat, though, the problem is sometimes you nick the chin.

   2. LCLenny Clarke5:20

      Mm-hmm.

   3. JRJoe Rogan5:20

      The real way to do it is this.

   4. LCLenny Clarke5:22

      Mm-hmm.

   5. JRJoe Rogan5:22

      This with your hand.

   6. LCLenny Clarke5:23

      Yeah.

   7. JRJoe Rogan5:23

      Just slam that fucking thing in their throat right, right in there.

   8. LCLenny Clarke5:26

      Oh.

   9. JRJoe Rogan5:27

      That's how you do it.

   10. LCLenny Clarke5:28

       Oh.

   11. JRJoe Rogan5:28

       If you punch someone in the throat-

   12. LCLenny Clarke5:29

       Yeah.

   13. JRJoe Rogan5:30

       ... first, first of all, you could say I pushed him away from me.

   14. LCLenny Clarke5:33

       Right, right. Yeah.

   15. JRJoe Rogan5:34

       I fucked that up.

   16. LCLenny Clarke5:35

       Right.

   17. JRJoe Rogan5:35

       Now, someone's gonna say, "Oh, episode 1003."

   18. LCLenny Clarke5:37

       Oh, yeah, yeah.

   19. JRJoe Rogan5:38

       "He said, he said."

   20. LCLenny Clarke5:39

       Oh, I know, everything-

   21. JRJoe Rogan5:39

       "That's what he does."

   22. LCLenny Clarke5:40

       I, I-

   23. JRJoe Rogan5:41

       But that's how you, if you wanna hit someone in the throat-

   24. LCLenny Clarke5:43

       Yeah.

   25. JRJoe Rogan5:44

       ... and you don't wanna really hurt them-

   26. LCLenny Clarke5:46

       Whew, right.

   27. JRJoe Rogan5:46

       ... you wanna get them the fuck away from you-

   28. LCLenny Clarke5:47

       Yeah.

   29. JRJoe Rogan5:47

       ... just use your open hand like that.

   30. LCLenny Clarke5:49

       Yeah.
4. 6:45 – 8:12

   Comedy in the era of political correctness—and why cycles swing back

   1. LCLenny Clarke6:45

      'Cause the, th- y- t- to do stand-up now is, is so much different than before, because there were wo- ... you can't say words.

   2. JRJoe Rogan6:54

      Yeah.

   3. LCLenny Clarke6:54

      You know, like w- Joe-

   4. JRJoe Rogan6:55

      Y- you can, but-

   5. LCLenny Clarke6:56

      No, o- not me.

   6. JRJoe Rogan6:57

      ... it's dangerous.

   7. LCLenny Clarke6:57

      Not me. I can't.

   8. JRJoe Rogan6:59

      No?

   9. LCLenny Clarke6:59

      No, you're looking at an old white man. Couple more years down the road, I'll be able to say whatever I want.

   10. JRJoe Rogan7:03

       (laughs)

   11. LCLenny Clarke7:04

       'Cause, "He's just elderly." You know, 'cause, I mean-

   12. JRJoe Rogan7:06

       Right.

   13. LCLenny Clarke7:06

       ... I saw it in the paper the other day, some kids beat up this 63-year-old guy, and there's a big, like, federal case against them 'cause he's elderly. I go, "I'm 66." You know?

   14. JRJoe Rogan7:16

       Yeah.

   15. LCLenny Clarke7:16

       And I'm, I'm not going down like that guy, you know what I mean?

   16. JRJoe Rogan7:19

       (laughs)

   17. LCLenny Clarke7:19

       These kids are gonna be surprised, and I'll go, "Look, I'm elderly," you know, "it's a pretty ..." (laughs)

   18. JRJoe Rogan7:24

       Yeah.

   19. LCLenny Clarke7:24

       You know, Jesus Christ. Yeah, it's ... I just, I, I, I hope, Joe, I really do, that this is all, uh-

   20. JRJoe Rogan7:32

       A cycle?

   21. LCLenny Clarke7:33

       Yes.

   22. JRJoe Rogan7:34

       You know?

   23. LCLenny Clarke7:34

       Yeah.

   24. JRJoe Rogan7:34

       Cyclical.

   25. LCLenny Clarke7:35

       So, yeah.

   26. JRJoe Rogan7:36

       Yeah.

   27. LCLenny Clarke7:36

       Well, well, either way it works for me-

   28. JRJoe Rogan7:37

       Yeah, yeah, yeah.

   29. LCLenny Clarke7:37

       ... 'cause you know where I was going, it went like this.

   30. JRJoe Rogan7:39

       Yeah. That it's gonna come back around.
5. 8:12 – 12:36

   Letting grudges go: ‘bandwidth,’ anger as fuel, and not taking it home

   1. LCLenny Clarke8:12

      I'd rather, I'd rather, you, you know, and people say, "Well, you don't worry what people think." We, well, people think is usually what you are.

   2. JRJoe Rogan8:18

      Yeah.

   3. LCLenny Clarke8:18

      If you're a dick, then people are gonna think you're a dick.

   4. JRJoe Rogan8:20

      Well, as I've gotten older-

   5. LCLenny Clarke8:21

      I'd rather be a nice guy.

   6. JRJoe Rogan8:22

      ... I've gotten way, way better just letting shit go. I don't care. I mean, holding grudges and wanting to get back at someone, that's nonsense. It's for fools.

   7. LCLenny Clarke8:29

      Yeah. It-

   8. JRJoe Rogan8:30

      There's, there's people that they, they fucking ... they'll, they'll, uh, they grind on it all day. Like, they'll hate someone, and they w- they just wanna talk about that person all fucking day. And they're all ... It's always a waste of time. It's a waste of time.

   9. LCLenny Clarke8:43

      Yeah.

   10. JRJoe Rogan8:43

       Doesn't do you any good.

   11. LCLenny Clarke8:44

       No, no.

   12. JRJoe Rogan8:45

       Just let it go. Let it go.

   13. LCLenny Clarke8:47

       Y- y- as, as you get older, (laughs) and I've got a-

   14. JRJoe Rogan8:49

       Yeah.

   15. LCLenny Clarke8:49

       ... quite a few years on you, I'm, I'm in that thing now, because someone told me, uh, "Holding a grudge is like drinking poison and wanting the other person to die."

   16. JRJoe Rogan8:58

       Yes.

   17. LCLenny Clarke8:58

       You know?

   18. JRJoe Rogan8:59

       Yes, yes. That's-

   19. LCLenny Clarke8:59

       And, and, and it eats you up. I don't have time for that, I got, I got other problems I'm dealing with.

   20. JRJoe Rogan9:03

       I think that quote is for jealousy, but they bo- it applies with both things.

   21. LCLenny Clarke9:06

       Oh, there you go. Yeah, yeah.

   22. JRJoe Rogan9:06

       Yeah, it's, it applies to both things. It's, uh, it's foolish. It's like I ... Look, I want people to get ... If, if you and me have a dispute, I'd like you to get over it. I'd like to get over it too. I'm not into, like, having enemies for life. Those people that want enemies for life, they don't know what a real enemy is.

   23. LCLenny Clarke9:21

       Oh, I know.

   24. JRJoe Rogan9:22

       You don't know what a real enemy is.

   25. LCLenny Clarke9:23

       Uh, uh.

   26. JRJoe Rogan9:23

       You just, you, you're, you, you're a paper tiger. You're making ... You're just talking. This is nonsense. Like, real enemies, they wanna kill you.

   27. LCLenny Clarke9:30

       Yeah.

   28. JRJoe Rogan9:30

       Okay?

   29. LCLenny Clarke9:31

       Yeah. (laughs)

   30. JRJoe Rogan9:31

       And if you don't wanna kill me, I don't wanna kill you, so let's just stop.
6. 12:36 – 15:50

   When bits bomb: Rogan’s ‘clone Jesus’ joke, Chris Rock’s persistence, and craft

   1. LCLenny Clarke12:36

      How long will you, how long will you stick with a bit that to you is very funny, but it's not working for the crowd?

   2. JRJoe Rogan12:42

      Oh, that's a problem. That's a pro- ... I had a bit that I was doing for a while about the Second Coming project.

   3. LCLenny Clarke12:47

      Mm-hmm.

   4. JRJoe Rogan12:48

      The Second Coming project was a group of people back in the day when genetics, when they first started, uh, you know, applying genetic research, and, and they were... What they were gonna do is these people wanted to take samples of tissue from th- what they, the Shroud of Turin.

   5. LCLenny Clarke13:05

      Right. Yeah, sure, of course.

   6. JRJoe Rogan13:05

      Do you remember what the Shroud of Turin?

   7. LCLenny Clarke13:06

      Yeah, came off the face of Jesus. Yeah.

   8. JRJoe Rogan13:08

      They thought it came off the face of Jesus.

   9. LCLenny Clarke13:09

      Right.

   10. JRJoe Rogan13:09

       They found out later through carbon testing that it was really only a couple of hundred years old. But when these people, before they did the-

   11. LCLenny Clarke13:15

       Well, his face didn't come off, did it? They ever figured out?

   12. JRJoe Rogan13:18

       It's fake. It's fake.

   13. LCLenny Clarke13:18

       It's fake.

   14. JRJoe Rogan13:18

       It's not really-

   15. LCLenny Clarke13:19

       The Shroud of Tur-

   16. JRJoe Rogan13:20

       Yeah.

   17. LCLenny Clarke13:20

       No, I didn't know the Shroud of Turin was fake.

   18. JRJoe Rogan13:21

       Yeah. Yeah, g- google that. Google the Shroud of Turin. They did a test on it. I think, I think it turned out to just only be a few hundred years old. Anyway, what they were gonna try to do is they were gonna try to take DNA from that and then clone Jesus. And so the bit I had was that, you know, with Dolly the sheep-

   19. LCLenny Clarke13:39

       Right.

   20. JRJoe Rogan13:40

       ... they, they tried to clone Dolly the sheep-

   21. LCLenny Clarke13:43

       I remember that.

   22. JRJoe Rogan13:44

       ... a bunch of times.

   23. LCLenny Clarke13:45

       Right.

   24. JRJoe Rogan13:45

       Like, it wasn't, like, as simple as the first time they did it, it worked out.

   25. LCLenny Clarke13:49

       Right.

   26. JRJoe Rogan13:49

       I'm like, "What if they cloned Jesus and he comes back with some birth defects?" Like, what do they do? Do they kill him and start from scratch? Do they do it again?

   27. LCLenny Clarke13:57

       Mm-hmm.

   28. JRJoe Rogan13:57

       Like, what if Jesus... Like, what if they cloned Jesus and he had Down syndrome? So I had this whole bit about Jesus with Down syndrome, and then instead of a cross, he had a hockey helmet.

   29. LCLenny Clarke14:07

       (laughs)

   30. JRJoe Rogan14:07

       And then, like, like, but the power, like, he would turn dog shit into cookies. Like, he had, like, w- he... Instead of turning water into wine.
7. 15:50 – 18:42

   The Barracks: Boston comedy’s chaos house, neighbors from hell, and a murder case

   1. LCLenny Clarke15:50

      Uh, I got, I got an old lady story.

   2. JRJoe Rogan15:51

      (laughs)

   3. LCLenny Clarke15:51

      But we lived at The Barracks. There was 14 comedians living in that place in Harvard Square. I don't know if you ever came by-

   4. JRJoe Rogan15:56

      No, where was The Barracks?

   5. LCLenny Clarke15:57

      ... 'cause that was pretty hot back then. The Barracks was an apartment that M- Mike and I had, and we opened it-

   6. JRJoe Rogan16:02

      What year was this?

   7. LCLenny Clarke16:03

      Oh, God, it was '80 s- you know, r- in the beginning, you know, when, when standup was pop-

   8. JRJoe Rogan16:08

      So, this is probably before my day.

   9. LCLenny Clarke16:10

      Yeah, be-

   10. JRJoe Rogan16:10

       I came in in '88.

   11. LCLenny Clarke16:11

       Uh, no, it was, so '85.

   12. JRJoe Rogan16:12

       And by Mike, you're saying Mike Clark, his brother?

   13. LCLenny Clarke16:14

       Yeah, yeah, yeah, right. So we had this house, and it was, like, three or four bedrooms, and Kenny Rogerson's room, which was like a closet with a sheet over it (laughs) -

   14. JRJoe Rogan16:23

       (laughs)

   15. LCLenny Clarke16:23

       ... we, we referred to it as the sperm room. And Kenny l- (laughs)

   16. JRJoe Rogan16:27

       (laughs)

   17. LCLenny Clarke16:27

       And we had ... Uh, the rent was $165 a month.

   18. JRJoe Rogan16:30

       Wow.

   19. LCLenny Clarke16:30

       The landlord's name was Wing Wong, and we were working at the Ding Ho for Shun Lee. So 165 bucks between sometimes 10 guys, we didn't have it. You know, we were blowing it already.

   20. JRJoe Rogan16:39

       (laughs)

   21. LCLenny Clarke16:39

       So now, every comedian who came in from out of town, they didn't have to get a hotel. You just go by the back, because there was a key under the mat. At the end, there was, like, 11 keys under the mat. But there was this old lady next door on the third floor apart- And we would rage all night. I would break windows. I just love the sound of breaking glass. We had a window guy on call, you know, 'cause, 'cause, uh, people saying, "It's freezing, Lenny. Oh, call the window guy." You know, I just love to p- throw things, breaking glass, you know.

   22. JRJoe Rogan17:02

       (laughs)

   23. LCLenny Clarke17:02

       Swin- (laughs) I remember Sweeney ducked, and I, I, I put a bottle through the window, and he's laying on the floor. And I go, "Sweeney, what's wrong with you? You ... I'm just having fun." He goes, "Don't talk down to me." I go, "Well, you're lying on the floor. Get up," you know? So now this woman, she ... The older woman, she goes ... I said, "Hey." She ... "I hate you, Lenny Clark. I hate you." I said, "Listen, I'm going to the store. You want me to get you anything?" And she'd yell at the top, "Lenny Clark, I only live to see you dead." Right?

   24. JRJoe Rogan17:26

       (laughs)

   25. LCLenny Clarke17:26

       And she ... And all the neighbors, every neighbor there loved me, right? "Oh, Joe, it gets worse." So now, you know, I- I'd send her flowers every now and then, and she'd throw them off the balcony. "I don't want your fucking flower, I want you dead!" Right?

   26. JRJoe Rogan17:39

       (groans)

   27. LCLenny Clarke17:39

       So she ends up getting murdered.

   28. JRJoe Rogan17:43

       Oh, no.

   29. LCLenny Clarke17:44

       I'll- I'll, like, cut up and, like, decapitated.

   30. JRJoe Rogan17:47

       Oh.
8. 18:42 – 24:36

   Drugs, violence, and ‘people you meet’ in nightlife: Walpole prison and murderers

   1. JRJoe Rogan18:42

      There was a guy that I used to train with who, uh, got arrested. I don't know if you remember this case. But they, they were, they took this guy and they were breaking his bones with a hammer and then injecting him with cocaine to keep him awake because he was, he was blacking out from the pain.

   2. LCLenny Clarke18:57

      Oh.

   3. JRJoe Rogan18:58

      And they cut his hands off, they cut his head off, they cut everything off. And, uh, this dude that I knew got arrested for it and, uh, when I asked him about it, they were, he knew something. Like it was one of those things where, like, you know, you ask someone, like I go, "They arrested you." I go, "Why would they arrest you?" And he was like this, "I don't know. I don't know nothing." I was like, "Oh, you know something."

   4. LCLenny Clarke19:19

      (laughs) Yeah.

   5. JRJoe Rogan19:20

      I was like, "Holy shit." I was like, "Oh my God, I might know a fucking serious murderer."

   6. LCLenny Clarke19:25

      Oh, yeah.

   7. JRJoe Rogan19:25

      Yeah. He went to jail for something else. I forget what he went to jail... I knew him when I was 16 and he went to jail and then he came out and when he came out, like all his tattoos, he had scars all over all of his tattoos, like apparently he tried to burn his tattoos off in the joint. And he was li- like cr- just a different person. Like his time in jail, and I guess he was in jail for like maybe a five years from when I knew him.

   8. LCLenny Clarke19:50

      Wow.

   9. JRJoe Rogan19:51

      And he came out five years later and started training again (coughs) before he got arrested. And, um, just super spooky to be around-

   10. LCLenny Clarke19:59

       To be-

   11. JRJoe Rogan19:59

       ... somebody that you think might have done that.

   12. LCLenny Clarke20:02

       No, I, I, I know of a few murderers that-

   13. JRJoe Rogan20:05

       Oh.

   14. LCLenny Clarke20:05

       Yeah, yeah. I mean, I didn't know at the time (laughs) when I met them-

   15. JRJoe Rogan20:08

       Yes.

   16. LCLenny Clarke20:08

       ... but over the years I've gone, "Oh my..." Uh, well, the, the guy who got the, the pass, Johnny Medorano, he was on 60 Minutes, he shops at Stop & Shop in, uh, in Somerville.

   17. JRJoe Rogan20:16

       (laughs)

   18. LCLenny Clarke20:17

       And s- people go, "You know who that is?" I go, "Who? Johnny Medorano?" They go, "Hey, Lenny." I went, "Oh hey, Johnny!" (laughs) 25 murders and, and, and you know-

   19. JRJoe Rogan20:23

       How is he out?

   20. LCLenny Clarke20:25

       Uh, deals, you know what I mean? He did time, he did a lot of time.

   21. JRJoe Rogan20:29

       Not enough?

   22. LCLenny Clarke20:29

       But he was on 60... N- no, not 25 murders.

   23. JRJoe Rogan20:31

       (laughs)

   24. LCLenny Clarke20:31

       Come on, are you kidding me?

   25. JRJoe Rogan20:32

       He seems like he should be in jail forever.

   26. LCLenny Clarke20:33

       What, Sammy the Bull, how many did Sammy the Bull kill? And he was out dealing-

   27. JRJoe Rogan20:36

       A lot, yeah, he was out-

   28. LCLenny Clarke20:36

       He was out dealing meth in Arizona.

   29. JRJoe Rogan20:37

       I think he's still out, though.

   30. LCLenny Clarke20:38

       Oh, yeah, he is.
9. 24:36 – 34:28

   Coke era insanity: getting paid in drugs, ‘time travel,’ and going to Cartagena for blow

   1. JRJoe Rogan24:36

      Well then also, if you're getting coke, you got to know people who sell coke. And that-

   2. LCLenny Clarke24:40

      I had people who would bring coke to me. You know, my mother always said, "Leonard, be very careful in show business. People are going to try to, to, to give you drugs." I go, "Ma, they don't give them, they sell them to you."

   3. JRJoe Rogan24:50

      (laughs)

   4. LCLenny Clarke24:50

      But people did give me drugs. Like I'd have dealers say, "Try my coke. No, try my coke. My coke is better."

   5. JRJoe Rogan24:55

      Yeah.

   6. LCLenny Clarke24:55

      Just to hang out, to be in the show. You know how it was.

   7. JRJoe Rogan24:57

      Yeah.

   8. LCLenny Clarke24:58

      It was like, it was like being with rock stars.

   9. JRJoe Rogan24:59

      (laughs)

   10. LCLenny Clarke24:59

       And a lot of rock stars were with us.

   11. JRJoe Rogan25:01

       Well, people talk about the days, the early days of Boston comedy, and it, it almost sounds fake.

   12. LCLenny Clarke25:06

       (laughs)

   13. JRJoe Rogan25:06

       Because they used to pay you with coke.

   14. LCLenny Clarke25:08

       Yeah.

   15. JRJoe Rogan25:08

       Like I, I was offered money or coke.

   16. LCLenny Clarke25:11

       Right, right. Yeah.

   17. JRJoe Rogan25:12

       That's how they would pay you.

   18. LCLenny Clarke25:14

       First time-

   19. JRJoe Rogan25:14

       Thank God I didn't go do coke.

   20. LCLenny Clarke25:15

       First time that happened to me, I was in Sarasota, Florida. And they go, "Lenny, it's been a great week. Uh, you know, we owe you $3,000. How about we give you three grand or, uh, an oun- uh, an ounce of coke?" And I said, "Well, why don't we do half and half?" And then ...

   21. JRJoe Rogan25:32

       (laughs)

   22. LCLenny Clarke25:32

       That started my time travel.

   23. JRJoe Rogan25:34

       (laughs)

   24. LCLenny Clarke25:34

       And I ended up ... I, I ended up in Sarasota. I left Sarasota, I wanted to meet Jackie the Jokerman, and I ended up in Tampa. Tampa from Sarasota is hundreds and hundreds of miles. It's not close. And, and-

   25. JRJoe Rogan25:46

       Did you drive it?

   26. LCLenny Clarke25:47

       Evidently.

   27. JRJoe Rogan25:48

       (laughs)

   28. LCLenny Clarke25:48

       Because, because my ... Because Jackie ... "How'd you get here?"

   29. JRJoe Rogan25:50

       (laughs)

   30. LCLenny Clarke25:50

       I go, "Time travel, Jackie. Time travel through some blow."
10. 34:28 – 40:50

    Career highs and Hollywood hazards: Lenny’s CBS sitcom, fame, and crooked agents

    1. JRJoe Rogan34:28

       Yeah, your story out here is one of the most horrific stories about what can happen if you get a crooked agent.

    2. LCLenny Clarke34:33

       Oh.

    3. JRJoe Rogan34:34

       You know, and I've told many guys-

    4. LCLenny Clarke34:35

       Oh.

    5. JRJoe Rogan34:35

       ... your story.

    6. LCLenny Clarke34:36

       Oh.

    7. JRJoe Rogan34:36

       That, you know, we talk about murder. You're very lucky that you didn't wind up murdering your agent.

    8. LCLenny Clarke34:41

       I knew where his kids went to school. I knew, you know, I knew where he was and-

    9. JRJoe Rogan34:45

       Well, tell everybody what happened. 'Cause I think you might've talked about this before-

    10. LCLenny Clarke34:48

        Yeah, I-

    11. JRJoe Rogan34:48

        ... but just so this podcast stays alive.

    12. LCLenny Clarke34:49

        Okay. I, yeah, I- I became- I became like really big. Uh, I- I got-

    13. JRJoe Rogan34:55

        You had a television show.

    14. LCLenny Clarke34:55

        I had- yeah, a television show named after me, CBS. They-

    15. JRJoe Rogan34:58

        This is like, what, '93, '92?

    16. LCLenny Clarke35:00

        '90, '90, '90.

    17. JRJoe Rogan35:01

        (laughs)

    18. LCLenny Clarke35:01

        I mean, it's- it happened so long ago I think they're gonna colorize it. Joe, here's another thing.

    19. JRJoe Rogan35:05

        Mm-hmm.

    20. LCLenny Clarke35:05

        I can't find... I mean, I have like the- uh, VD- VHS of- of it someplace, you know?

    21. JRJoe Rogan35:11

        Mm-hmm. Yeah.

    22. LCLenny Clarke35:11

        But you can't even go on YouTube and find Lenny's. You know, there was 17 Lenny's, 17 or 18 Lenny's. And the show was the- the highest rated show since All In The Family on CBS. And it wa-

    23. JRJoe Rogan35:21

        It was a great show.

    24. LCLenny Clarke35:22

        ... it was a great show. I've got an amazing cast and the guy who played my father, Eugene Roach, he just taught me everything I know. I never acted in my life.

    25. JRJoe Rogan35:29

        And you caught the perfect wave, the Roseanne wave-

    26. LCLenny Clarke35:32

        Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

    27. JRJoe Rogan35:32

        ... Tim Allen, Jerry Seinfeld, all those guys were getting signed to si- uh, sitcoms and you got one too.

    28. LCLenny Clarke35:36

        And- and, look, I- I- I was... My show started the year Seinfeld started. And Seinfeld didn't have a great first year.

    29. JRJoe Rogan35:42

        Right.

    30. LCLenny Clarke35:42

        We had a great first year. We were doing amazing. And then the first Gulf War broke out and that- that killed me. You know, "Lenny will not be seen tonight, so we can bring in the war in the Gulf." And then when they brought me back, it was the, um, the World Series. You know, Lenny was admitted for the World Series. And then they changed me from, uh-... from, I f- I forget what night it was on, but they brought me through ... v- I ended up at Friday nights, which is like-
11. 40:50 – 55:44

    Health, recovery, and biohacks: CBD, stem cells/exosomes, weight loss, and ‘Mad Russian’ hypnosis

    1. LCLenny Clarke40:50

       Speaking of health, how are you doing?

    2. JRJoe Rogan40:52

       I'm great.

    3. LCLenny Clarke40:52

       Is y- I mean, because we ... did you have a shoulder or a back thing that you were dealing with?

    4. JRJoe Rogan40:56

       Oh, I've had a gang of things.

    5. LCLenny Clarke40:57

       Yeah. Right.

    6. JRJoe Rogan40:57

       I've always had something.

    7. LCLenny Clarke40:58

       Because every num-

    8. JRJoe Rogan40:59

       But that's just because I beat the shit out of my body.

    9. LCLenny Clarke41:01

       Yeah. I remember when I was listening to one of your podcasts and you were talking about shoulder surgery and how you, you, uh-

    10. JRJoe Rogan41:07

        I avoided it with stem cells.

    11. LCLenny Clarke41:08

        Exactly.

    12. JRJoe Rogan41:09

        Yeah. Yeah.

    13. LCLenny Clarke41:09

        Now, d- a buddy of mine, this Navy SEAL, he said to me, "Uh, 'cause I was having back problems and Gronk gave me some of that C- CBD."

    14. JRJoe Rogan41:17

        CBD. Yes.

    15. LCLenny Clarke41:18

        I saw some out on your thing.

    16. JRJoe Rogan41:19

        Oh, yeah. Yeah. I've, I've read about that stuff.

    17. LCLenny Clarke41:21

        Yeah. And, and, and I needed that because, uh, I, I did- I just did this movie where I had a fight scene.

    18. JRJoe Rogan41:26

        Oh, no.

    19. LCLenny Clarke41:26

        And he calls me up and he goes, "Hey, how you doing, Lenny?" I go, "Okay. Whoa, excited about having you. How's your back?" I go, "Back's fine." And I had just hurt it the night before driving in the car, like a three-hour drive and it just ... I couldn't move.

    20. JRJoe Rogan41:36

        Hmm.

    21. LCLenny Clarke41:36

        And so I said to Gronk, "I need some of that stuff." And it, it helped me. It really-

    22. JRJoe Rogan41:40

        Oh, yeah.

    23. LCLenny Clarke41:40

        It really worked. I couldn't believe it. Yeah.

    24. JRJoe Rogan41:42

        Well, it's all about inflammation. And CBD is fantastic at reducing inflammation. I take it every day.

    25. LCLenny Clarke41:47

        Yeah.

    26. JRJoe Rogan41:47

        Every day.

    27. LCLenny Clarke41:48

        Yeah.

    28. JRJoe Rogan41:48

        Yeah. I believe in it wholeheartedly.

    29. LCLenny Clarke41:49

        Now, I- when you say you take it, you take the pills?

    30. JRJoe Rogan41:52

        Drops.
12. 55:44 – 57:13

    Island life and the outdoors: Obama on the road, sharks, guns, hunting, and Boston’s Big Dig finale

    1. JRJoe Rogan55:44

       Didn't you live on an island for a while?

    2. LCLenny Clarke55:45

       I live on Montes- I still live there.

    3. JRJoe Rogan55:47

       Still live there?

    4. LCLenny Clarke55:47

       Yeah. They haven't gone-

    5. JRJoe Rogan55:48

       Are you next to Obama? Hmm, I don't know where he lives now.

    6. LCLenny Clarke55:50

       Obama lived on my road, right?

    7. JRJoe Rogan55:51

       Hmm.

    8. LCLenny Clarke55:52

       Obama lived on my road.

    9. JRJoe Rogan55:53

       What is it like? You can get near the house?

    10. LCLenny Clarke55:55

        Get... A walkway.

    11. JRJoe Rogan55:55

        Or is it, like, fucking guys with guns everywhere?

    12. LCLenny Clarke55:57

        Guys with guns everywhere.

    13. JRJoe Rogan55:58

        Really?

    14. LCLenny Clarke55:59

        Well, uh, when he was the active president, (clears throat) they watered the road twice a day so the dust wouldn't rise when the com- when the-

    15. JRJoe Rogan56:06

        Get the fuck outta here.

    16. LCLenny Clarke56:06

        I swear to God, as God is my judge. So I would pull up, and all the secret security would say, "Hey, man, tell us a joke, funny man." And I'd tell them a joke, and if they laughed (laughs) , they'd let me go. Because the next roads, there was ... This was the preliminary, uh, road stop.

    17. JRJoe Rogan56:20

        Right.

    18. LCLenny Clarke56:21

        You know, to see if you even belonged in that property.

    19. JRJoe Rogan56:23

        Oh, right.

    20. LCLenny Clarke56:23

        'Cause there's about 60 houses in my place where I ... I live in a, a, a ... I got, like, a five and a half acre estate. I married wealthy again, Joe, you know.

    21. JRJoe Rogan56:31

        I know. You totally did.

    22. LCLenny Clarke56:31

        Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, except-

    23. JRJoe Rogan56:32

        Congratulations.

    24. LCLenny Clarke56:33

        Thank ... Oh, yeah. And she's a-

    25. JRJoe Rogan56:34

        Great job.

    26. LCLenny Clarke56:34

        ... she's a fisherman, uh, world-class fisherman with a boat, you know.

    27. JRJoe Rogan56:38

        Really?

    28. LCLenny Clarke56:38

        I'm captain. Oh, yeah, she ... And she takes me out and pulls me alongside these sharks, and I go, "No! Get the f-" We pulled up alongside a b- a basking shark. It- it- the thing had to be 2,000 pounds. I mean, I mean, the biggest thing I've ever seen in my ... "Go ahead and pet it." I go, "I'm not gonna pet it. It doesn't have teeth, it can't b- bit." I just ... Yeah, that's all I ... Lenny Clark gummed-

    29. JRJoe Rogan56:58

        (laughs)

    30. LCLenny Clarke56:58

        ... to death by a giant sea creature. "Get the fuck ..." But I've been on her boat, I was on her boat three times this year with great whites. She's got a 32-foot boat. Almost, uh, more than half the boat, that big, great whites.

Episode duration: 1:51:14