Joe Rogan Experience #1371 - Andrew Santino

Joe Rogan 0:00 ... yeah. (glasses clinking) Two, one. (grunts) (drinks splashing)

Andrew Santino 0:04 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 0:04 Hi, Andrew Santino.

Andrew Santino 0:06 (laughs) What's up, Mr. Rogan? This is great, huh?

Joe Rogan 0:08 It's still Sober October.

Andrew Santino 0:09 Still sober.

Joe Rogan 0:09 You can't have real drinks.

Andrew Santino 0:10 No, I'm gonna have s-... I'm gonna... not gonna have real drinks. I'm gonna have this.

Joe Rogan 0:13 You can have some of this.

Andrew Santino 0:13 Cheers. I'll have some of this.

Joe Rogan 0:14 Pineken 0-0. Mm. (swallowing) Ah. It's good, right?

Andrew Santino 0:18 Oh, yeah, it's pretty good.

Joe Rogan 0:20 (grunts) (glass thudding) I know you wanna get fucked up, but you can't. How about that?

Andrew Santino 0:25 (sighs) I'm not gonna, man.

Joe Rogan 0:26 How about that?

Andrew Santino 0:27 I'm not gonna. I need n-... I need time for my stomach to clear out.

Joe Rogan 0:29 Do you think you could do Sober October?

Andrew Santino 0:31 No. You know I can't do that shit.

Joe Rogan 0:32 You can't do it?

Andrew Santino 0:33 No. A month?

Joe Rogan 0:34 A week? How about a week?

Andrew Santino 0:35 I could do a wee-... I could do sober week.

Joe Rogan 0:36 So you could do the first week of Sober October?

Andrew Santino 0:38 Yeah, I could do the v-... The reason-

Joe Rogan 0:39 Maybe, like, the first week this year, and next week-... next year, you do two weeks.

Andrew Santino 0:43 If... I'll do... I could do so-... I could do a sober... I could do a sober month, but October sucks for me. It's my birthday in October.

Joe Rogan 0:50 Oh.

Andrew Santino 0:50 So I don't wanna take it off. You know?

Joe Rogan 0:51 Mm.

Andrew Santino 0:52 Also-

Joe Rogan 0:53 Mm.

Andrew Santino 0:54 ... I like drinking too much.

Joe Rogan 0:55 You like it a lot.

Andrew Santino 0:56 I could stop... I could stop weed and-

Joe Rogan 0:58 Yeah?

Andrew Santino 0:58 ... anything else. But dr-

Joe Rogan 1:00 Not booze?

Andrew Santino 1:00 No, I can't.

Joe Rogan 1:00 Do you want a drink?

Andrew Santino 1:02 Nah.

Joe Rogan 1:02 I got booze right over there.

Andrew Santino 1:03 No, my tummy's so sensitive still.

Joe Rogan 1:05 Yeah, you're all messed. Let's t-... tell everybody what happened.

Andrew Santino 1:07 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:08 (laughs) So, uh, n- no, uh, offense to Hilarities, which is a great comedy club, we stopped there-

Andrew Santino 1:14 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:14 ... uh, Saturday night after our show in Cleveland. We went over to say hi to our friend, Jessie Mae Peluso, who was headlining there. And what was he... the dude's name?

Andrew Santino 1:22 (sighs) Andrew.

Joe Rogan 1:23 Andrew... Don't... Remember.

Andrew Santino 1:24 I don't remember.

Joe Rogan 1:25 Funny guy.

Andrew Santino 1:26 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:26 Anyway, um, so we say hi to them, and they, they graciously, the owners of the club, uh, graciously asked if we were hungry and we said, "Sure, we could eat." They have a nice menu.

Andrew Santino 1:36 Why not?

Joe Rogan 1:36 So I had, uh, the prime rib. It was excellent. And you had a steak with some, uh, vegetables.

Andrew Santino 1:42 That's right. I had a bunch of vegetables on the side.

Joe Rogan 1:43 This is probably around midnight.

Andrew Santino 1:45 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 1:46 And then, uh, we get on a plane at, like, 6:00 in the morning. We are, uh, flying back home-

Andrew Santino 1:53 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:53 ... and, uh, I pass out. And then the lady wakes me up. It's like a movie. The lady wakes me up. And then I look over at you, you're like, "Dude, I'm not good. I'm not good. I'm not doing good." I'm like-

Andrew Santino 2:03 I was tripping.

Joe Rogan 2:03 ... "What's the matter? What happened?" Like, we, we had walked through the airport, cracking jokes like we always do.

Andrew Santino 2:09 Yep.

Joe Rogan 2:09 Having a great old time. Everything seemed normal. He didn't seem sick at all.

Andrew Santino 2:12 Uh-uh.

Joe Rogan 2:13 He fell asleep. Tell everybody what happened.

Andrew Santino 2:15 I fall asleep. I woke up like in Fight Club, when you're like... when y-... when he wakes up, he's like, "Gah," on the plane. Like, my breath caught myself, and I sprinted to the bathroom. And I was, like, so out of it. And I think the head rush had got me all fucked up. And I sat down, and I blacked out and passed out for a second. And I woke up and I'm throwing up. I mean, I am hurling, dude.

Joe Rogan 2:34 You woke up throwing up.

Andrew Santino 2:35 Throwing up just like (gargling) like spit.

Joe Rogan 2:37 (laughs)

Andrew Santino 2:37 As I wake up, I'm spitting. And I cou-... and I'm, like, holding onto the sides, like, "I can't believe what's..." Like, "I ca-"... I'm so disoriented. And I walk out and I grab the flight attendant, and I was like, "D-... I-S-S there a doctor on the plane?" Like, "I'm... S-something's fucking wrong." Like, "I don't feel good." And my... Right then, my stomach was, like, burbling again. And she's like, "Oh my God, you're, like, pale as a fucking ghost." And I was like-

Joe Rogan 2:56 Well, you're always pale as a ghost.

Andrew Santino 2:56 ... "I'm, like, I'm like this, bitch. This is what I look like."

Joe Rogan 2:58 He's a ginger.

Andrew Santino 2:59 She goes, "Go sit down. I'll get somebody." This nurse was on there, this guy Garrett. Super nice, and he s-... asked j-... He was in... He was right in front of us, like, a row up. And he asked to switch seats with Joe, and he sat with me. And I was hurling, dude. I w-... Dude, for the first time in my life, I puked in those bags. You know when you're like, "Nobody pukes in those fucking bags"? I did it.

Joe Rogan 3:16 I watched you.

Andrew Santino 3:16 I (laughs) puked in that fucking bag-

Joe Rogan 3:18 Yeah.

Andrew Santino 3:18 ... like, three times.

Joe Rogan 3:18 And then he saw undigested food in there.

Andrew Santino 3:20 Tons of undigested food in there.

Joe Rogan 3:21 And I was pretty sure it was food poisoning 'cause I've had a food poisoning before. And there... sometimes it comes on pretty quick.

Andrew Santino 3:27 You knocked it on the nose. Well, that's what he thought it was too. He goes... He was asking me, he's like, "What did you have last night?" I said, "I had two drinks at the show, and I had a couple of beers after with Jessie Mae and her friend." And, uh, he was like, "Did you take any street drugs?" (laughs)

Joe Rogan 3:38 Yeah, that's what he said.

Andrew Santino 3:39 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 3:39 He said, "Street drugs."

Andrew Santino 3:40 "Street drugs."

Joe Rogan 3:40 (laughs)

Andrew Santino 3:40 "Did you take any back alley drugs?"

Joe Rogan 3:43 (laughs)

Andrew Santino 3:43 I said, "No, man, I swear to God." He thought I was lying.

Joe Rogan 3:45 "What about ditch? Any ditch drugs?"

Andrew Santino 3:46 "Did you take any ditch drugs?"

Joe Rogan 3:47 "Any forest drugs?"

Andrew Santino 3:48 "Any sewer shit?" So I told him the truth. I said, "Dude, I didn't take any drugs last night." And he was like, "Okay." And when he told me, he looked in there and he goes, "Oh, you have undigested food, which means your body's rejecting it without processing it, so it must be... You got a bug of some kind." 'Cause dude, I was... I d-... when I talked... when I grabbed you and I go, "Bro, something's wrong. Like, this is not..." It hit me-

Joe Rogan 4:06 It was very nerve-wracking 'cause I was out of it.

Andrew Santino 4:08 Yeah, you were totally asleep.

Joe Rogan 4:09 'Cause I was... I had passed out, and I was so confused. I was like, "How? But you were okay."

Andrew Santino 4:13 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 4:13 I'm like, "Did he have a stroke?"

Andrew Santino 4:15 Dude, it was creepy.

Joe Rogan 4:16 Like, what's up?

Andrew Santino 4:16 I'd... I f-... I felt for a second in the bathroom like something medically was really, really wr-... If... My instinct was, "Oh, I must be, like, sick, or something's wrong." But then when I kept, like, having this urge to, to f-... yargh, I was like-

Joe Rogan 4:26 Mm.

Andrew Santino 4:27 ... "Mm-mm, something's really going on." Like-

Joe Rogan 4:28 I was assuming that it was the vegetables because, uh, a lot of times people get it from p-... poorly handled salad.

Andrew Santino 4:35 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 4:35 Yeah. People get-

Andrew Santino 4:36 It was bad.

Joe Rogan 4:37 If they don't wash the leaves and everything real good, people can get food poisoning from salad. It's apparently one of the most common ways people get food poisoning.

Andrew Santino 4:44 Was from salad and shit?

Joe Rogan 4:45 From salad?

Andrew Santino 4:45 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 4:46 Yeah.

Andrew Santino 4:46 Well, dude, it was just... uh, you know. And the guy was so nice. He sat with me the whole time, but he could tell. He was like, "Are you doing okay?" And every couple of minutes, I'd feel like I had to thr-... uh, like, wa-... when water can't stay down, I think that's the key, when you're, like, ch-chugging water, chugging water. He's like, "Don't chug too fast." I'm like, "Why?" He's like, "Because..." and then I'm just like... (retching)

Joe Rogan 5:02 (Retching)

Andrew Santino 5:02 He's like, "'Cause of that, bro. You're fucking puking up water."

Joe Rogan 5:04 (Retching)

Andrew Santino 5:05 But, uh, the Old Red feels fine. I feel fine now. I was just... That fucked me up bad. F-... tera-... And it's five hours from Cleveland, so wasn't a... wasn't a quick jump.

Joe Rogan 5:13 Yeah, in a plane, f-... 'cause food poisoning is sketchy. It's a weird feeling.

Andrew Santino 5:17 Sucks, dude. Sucks. It was awful, man.

Joe Rogan 5:19 I've had it four or five times in my life, and it's never, never good.

Andrew Santino 5:21 That's the second time. The first time I had it was in college. It was the worst thing ever. It was way worse. This was both ends. This is when your mouth and-

Joe Rogan 5:28 Blah, blah.

Andrew Santino 5:28 ... b-... back door. (imitating fart noises) When your... (screaming) (imitating fart noises) It's like a cartoon. I had it in college from movie theater popcorn.

Joe Rogan 5:35 What?

Andrew Santino 5:35 That's real shit.

Joe Rogan 5:36 Movie theater popcorn gave you food poisoning?

Andrew Santino 5:37 That's real shit, dude. Mm-hmm. Here's how we knew. We... me and this other dude, we ate totally different meals all day, and this other friend of ours too. And, uh, long story short, whatever, we both woke up sick the same time, like, in the middle of the night. And we had asked, when I went to the doctor finally the next day, 'cause I was sick all day, and the doctor was like, "What'd you eat?" I detailed it, and he goes, "Oh, yeah, sometimes the butter can be spoiled or rotten."

Joe Rogan 6:00 Oh, actual butter?

Andrew Santino 6:01 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 6:02 Oh.

Andrew Santino 6:02 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 6:02 Maybe that's why they use that fake ass butter.

Andrew Santino 6:04 Hell yeah. It was-

Joe Rogan 6:05 What is that fake ass butter made out of?

Andrew Santino 6:07 I don't know. I don't fucking know.

Joe Rogan 6:07 What the fuck is movie c-... popcorn...... theater butter made out of if it's not real butter? Because most places don't have real butter.

Andrew Santino 6:14 Jamie's laughing at my sicknesses.

Joe Rogan 6:15 No, he's not.

Jamie Vernon 6:16 It's the movie Popcorn.

Joe Rogan 6:17 What do you think it is? It's, like, gotta be something weird, vegetable oil.

Jamie Vernon 6:20 It's gotta be some sort of canola oil or something. Yeah, let's see.

Joe Rogan 6:21 Fucking nasty shit.

Andrew Santino 6:21 It was wei- it was weird, yeah.

Jamie Vernon 6:22 Butter-flavored oil, yeah.

Joe Rogan 6:24 Butter-flavored oil.

Andrew Santino 6:24 Oil-y, yeah.

Jamie Vernon 6:25 Can you believe it's not butter? What is that?

Joe Rogan 6:26 Ugh, margarine.

Andrew Santino 6:27 Bullshit. Well, they say-

Joe Rogan 6:28 You know how bad that stuff is for you?

Andrew Santino 6:30 Trash.

Joe Rogan 6:30 Butter... Peop- pe- people used to think margarine's the way to go. Like, if you... Butter's terrible for you, have some margarine. Margarine's non-dairy.

Andrew Santino 6:37 (laughs) Yeah. It's way worse.

Joe Rogan 6:38 Doesn't mean it's fucking horrible for you, but, but all the processed oils. You know what they're finding out from those fake meat burgers? They fed 'em to rats-

Andrew Santino 6:45 The Impossible Burger?

Joe Rogan 6:45 ... and they're giving 'em liver cancer.

Andrew Santino 6:47 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 6:47 Pull up what, what it, what it, what the study was. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, um, uh, one of those, Beyond Meat or Impossible Meat, or not really meat, whatever the fuck it is.

Andrew Santino 6:56 Just, yeah. Not meat, but looks like meat, we're trying to make it look like meat.

Joe Rogan 6:59 It's processed oils.

Andrew Santino 7:01 With grill marks on it. Why do they do that shit?

Joe Rogan 7:02 The weird, the weird shit, it's mostly oils.

Andrew Santino 7:04 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 7:05 It's, like, oils from vegetables. It's very strange.

Andrew Santino 7:08 A lot of soy and shit like that.

Joe Rogan 7:10 Vegi-... Like, those processed vegetable oils are terrible for you.

Andrew Santino 7:13 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 7:14 You know what's good for you? Olive oil. That's a good vegetable oil. Avocado oil is good for you. But, like, all that other shit, like canola and... uh, all that stuff's fucking terrible for you.

Andrew Santino 7:24 Well, he- so here's my question. Is it because it's not naturally occurring?

Joe Rogan 7:27 Here it is. "Rat feeding studies suggest the Impossible Burger may not be safe to eat." Scroll down. This is GMO Science. It says... Hold on a second, make that a little larger. "Rats fed ge-"... Rats... What are you doing? (laughs) What's going on with your finger?

Jamie Vernon 7:42 (laughs) I'm trying to make it bigger and it's just going up.

Joe Rogan 7:43 Rats-

Jamie Vernon 7:44 It's not doing that.

Joe Rogan 7:44 Stop. Stop moving. Go back. Jesus, Jamie. Stop. Go back.

Jamie Vernon 7:49 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 7:49 Go back.

Jamie Vernon 7:50 It's on back. This is it.

Andrew Santino 7:51 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 7:51 No. No, it's not.

Andrew Santino 7:52 There it is.

Joe Rogan 7:52 Thank you, thank you.

Jamie Vernon 7:53 Oh, it's the, for the picture.

Joe Rogan 7:53 "Rats fed the geneti-"... No, the fucking text there, buddy. "Rats fed the genetically modified yeast-derived protein soy..." Whoa. Say that word.

Andrew Santino 8:02 Leghemoglobin.

Joe Rogan 8:03 No. Lehigamoglobin.

Andrew Santino 8:04 Leghemoglobin.

Joe Rogan 8:05 Lehigamoglobin. That sounds like an Irishman.

Andrew Santino 8:08 Ah.

Joe Rogan 8:08 (laughs) "He is-"

Andrew Santino 8:08 Danny Mehagemoglobin.

Joe Rogan 8:09 Oh, Danny.

Andrew Santino 8:10 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 8:10 Danny Meh- Lehemoglobin.

Andrew Santino 8:12 He's a good boy. He is, Danny Mehagemoglobin.

Joe Rogan 8:13 "The burger's key ingredient developed unexplained changes in weight gain and significant signs of toxic-..." and "signs of toxicity." Why did I put the word significant in there?

Andrew Santino 8:24 I don't know.

Joe Rogan 8:24 It wasn't even there.

Andrew Santino 8:25 It felt right.

Joe Rogan 8:26 It did. I'm a, I'm an editor.

Andrew Santino 8:28 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 8:28 Uh, okay. "Un- unexplained changes in weight gain and signs of toxicity." And it said, "The Impossible Burger is a plant-based burger. The key ingredient, which is a protein called soy leghemoglobin-"

Andrew Santino 8:39 Lehemoglobin.

Joe Rogan 8:40 "... SLH derived from genetically modified yeast."

Andrew Santino 8:44 Uh.

Joe Rogan 8:44 "A rat feeding study commissioned by the manufacturer, Impossible Foods, found that rats fed SLH developed unexplained changes in weight gain as well as changes in the blood that can indicate that, uh, the onset of inflammation or kidney disease, as well as possible signs of anemia."

Andrew Santino 9:02 Holy shit.

Joe Rogan 9:03 Yeah. "Impossible Foods dismissed these statistically significant effects as non-adverse," or having no toxological relevance. That's...

Andrew Santino 9:14 It's so funny you can just dismiss things. They just-

Joe Rogan 9:16 Yeah.

Andrew Santino 9:16 ... they did a real study and they're like, "Not real."

Joe Rogan 9:17 Well, they're dismissing it because it's not convenient. I mean-

Andrew Santino 9:20 Right.

Joe Rogan 9:20 ... it's real simple. I mean, uh, you do rat studies, doesn't necessarily mean it transfers to people. But the, psh-... That stuff is... Okay, what's the ingredients? Let's, let's find out what the fucking ingredients are.

Andrew Santino 9:31 Yeah, that's what I wanna know and how do they make it.

Joe Rogan 9:32 Because it's impossible, because that's not the only thing that I've read. I've read things by actual nutritionists that are saying, "Look, you wanna be on a plant-based diet? You should eat real foods. You can eat healthy on a plant-based diet. You can eat real vegetables and avocado and, you know, there's plenty of good stuff to eat. Coconut oils, all this stuff is healthy for you." But when you, you start making shit look like meat, that's when shit gets squirrelly, because you're finding all kinds of... You're, you're, you, they're adding all sorts of processed food. Why'd you take that off the screen?

Jamie Vernon 10:04 I- I didn't want to be distracting while you were talking.

Joe Rogan 10:06 Oh, no, that's okay. So what, what the fuck is in there?

Jamie Vernon 10:09 Top five ingredients.

Joe Rogan 10:10 Calories. "A four ounce serving," which is pretty skimpy, "clocks in at 240 calories." That's in the range of a beef burger, depending on fat content. Uh, cholesterol. The Impossible contains no cholesterol. To compare, a regular beef patty contains about 80 milligrams. Scroll up. Scroll up. Scroll up. Scroll up. Scroll up. Fat, 14 grams. Includes eight grams of saturated fat, which generally considered less healthy than unsaturated fat. That's not true. It's, it's entirely dependent upon the source, and it's entirely dependent upon m- uh, like, how you're eating, like, what you're eating.

Andrew Santino 10:44 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 10:45 Like, s- the idea that saturated fat is bad for you, this, this has all been debunked. This is comparable to a beef burger, mostly due to the coconut oil, which is healthy for you, fuckers. "This year, the Impossible replaced a portion of the coconut oil, which is the highest in saturated fat," goddamn it, "with sunflower," which is way shittier for you, which is an unsaturated fat. Goddamn. This, you know, talking to nutritionists on this podcast has been so enlightening, but so confusing when you see the way that people still wanna eat low fat, you know. And they, like, they, they don't understand, like, fats are important.

Andrew Santino 11:18 Yeah, they're good.

Joe Rogan 11:19 Your body fucking needs them. They're good for your brain, they're good for (sighs) everything.

Andrew Santino 11:23 But-

Joe Rogan 11:23 Omega-3s, omega-6s.

Andrew Santino 11:25 That was the revolution of, uh... Like, I remember as a kid, everything became... In, like, the late 80s and '90s, everything was lower fat but it was higher sugar content, right?

Joe Rogan 11:34 Mm-hmm.

Andrew Santino 11:34 And so it was just, like, "Less fat, less fat," but they were just increasing the sugar. It was, like, 1% milk.

Joe Rogan 11:39 Right.

Andrew Santino 11:39 That's the biggest joke, when they're like-

Joe Rogan 11:40 Right, they put sugar in it.

Andrew Santino 11:41 ... "Less fat." Yeah, but they substituted it with tons of fucking sugar.

Joe Rogan 11:43 Because it tastes terrible.

Andrew Santino 11:45 Yeah, it tastes like shit without the fat.

Joe Rogan 11:46 All those monsters that put low fat milk in their coffee, who the fuck are you?

Andrew Santino 11:50 Piece of shit.

Joe Rogan 11:51 Who are you?

Andrew Santino 11:52 (laughs) Bird.

Joe Rogan 11:52 They're trick- they got tricked. They got tricked by this idea that you're supposed to have low fat. Find out, re- see- pull up something, what i- is the Impossible Burger healthy? Is it healthy?

Andrew Santino 12:02 Well, here's the, 'cause here's the thing. They were pushed... That article obviously was siding with the Impossible Burger, 'cause they cited three i- four items and it was, like, soy protein, coconut, and something else. They don't really tell you how the process is that they make those, that's the thing. They won't say...Well, here's how we derive these things-

Joe Rogan 12:17 Yeah.

Andrew Santino 12:18 ... and fucking process them.

Joe Rogan 12:19 I, I was gonna say, uh, before I even looked this up, I don't think that they're even marketing as being healthier. It's just an alternative- Yeah. ... for meat for people that- Right. ... really still wanna eat it. Yeah, exactly. Like, they, you know, that's it. Really. Right. But is it healthy for you? Yeah, I don't think that there's even saying that at all. I don't think they're even bothering... Yeah. It's, it's probably less healthy for you than a fucking McDonald's cheeseburger, which is barely meat anyway.

Andrew Santino 12:37 Not meat. I mean, right?

Joe Rogan 12:38 What is that?

Andrew Santino 12:38 They did all those studies about Taco Bell meat and they were like-

Joe Rogan 12:40 Ugh.

Andrew Santino 12:40 ... it's fucking barely meat.

Joe Rogan 12:41 Taco Bell meat has-

Andrew Santino 12:42 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 12:42 They have an acceptable amount of filler that they're allowed to have.

Andrew Santino 12:46 It's just nonsense.

Joe Rogan 12:47 And it's some... It's some nutty number. Like, pull up... What's the acceptable number of Taco Bell filter? I was gonna s- I had a friend that worked at a-

Andrew Santino 12:53 Filter.

Joe Rogan 12:54 ... fast food restaurant I'm not gonna name and their gra-

Andrew Santino 12:56 Name it.

Joe Rogan 12:57 ... graded meat was, like, G, I believe. It was G grade, which is lower than dog food or something like that. Ugh. But, like, shit still tasted okay. I mean- (laughs) ... (laughs) like- Ugh. If you're hungry you'll shove it down your fucking maw.

Andrew Santino 13:08 If you fucking need it.

Joe Rogan 13:09 Ugh.

Andrew Santino 13:10 Did you see what happened, uh-

Joe Rogan 13:11 Phew.

Andrew Santino 13:12 ... at this World Series game the, the other day? Did you see the news?

Joe Rogan 13:14 No.

Andrew Santino 13:14 They introduced Trump and, uh, the First Lady and they got booed. Do you know this?

Joe Rogan 13:19 Yeah, yeah. Last N-... It's going around last night.

Andrew Santino 13:20 It-

Joe Rogan 13:20 Last night.

Andrew Santino 13:20 He fucking-

Joe Rogan 13:21 It's, there's two different versions of the story I saw.

Andrew Santino 13:23 Yeah. What?

Joe Rogan 13:23 CNN was saying that they were yelling out, "Lock her up," but then-

Andrew Santino 13:27 No, I didn't hear that. I just saw the boo clip.

Joe Rogan 13:28 ... another thing was saying that they were saying, "Lock him up." Yeah, I saw lock him up is what I saw.

Andrew Santino 13:31 I think it was lock him up is what they were chanting.

Joe Rogan 13:33 But CNN had it where they were saying people were chanting, "Lock her up." Well, I'll just tell you the other thing too is he was... Generally, the president throws out the first pitch.

Andrew Santino 13:41 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 13:42 And he didn't do that because he's already thrown one out somewhere and it's been... It's, didn't look very good.

Andrew Santino 13:46 Terrible.

Joe Rogan 13:46 Yeah. Unathletic fuck.

Andrew Santino 13:48 You wanna talk about those, we got some clips in the vault-

Joe Rogan 13:50 (laughs)

Andrew Santino 13:51 ... of people that can't throw baseballs on the first pitch.

Joe Rogan 13:53 Oh, you mean Judd Apatow? (laughs)

Andrew Santino 13:54 (laughs) That's, that's my favorite fucking clip.

Joe Rogan 13:57 Him and Gary Delabate.

Andrew Santino 14:00 Him, 50 Cent. There's a few people-

Joe Rogan 14:02 Wanna scar?

Andrew Santino 14:02 ... that have fucking... No, I can't right now. I'm good.

Joe Rogan 14:04 Want your stomach?

Andrew Santino 14:05 Yeah, I'm... I don't wanna fucking, I don't wanna fuck with it.

Joe Rogan 14:07 Really?

Andrew Santino 14:07 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 14:07 Is it that bad, bro?

Andrew Santino 14:08 It's fine, but I don't wanna f-... I'm not... I don't wanna dance on the edge.

Joe Rogan 14:11 Hmm. Ooh, these are hot.

Andrew Santino 14:12 Did you see what I tweeted? I tweeted this morning, uh, Burr and-

Joe Rogan 14:17 CNN's... I typed in "lock her up." It's just is pop- putting back "lock him up" everywhere.

Andrew Santino 14:20 Ho- hold on.

Joe Rogan 14:21 Hmm.

Andrew Santino 14:21 Burr and, uh, and Kreischer have a podcast now called Bill and Bert Podcast.

Joe Rogan 14:26 Yes.

Andrew Santino 14:26 And I made fun of them. You should pull up the image for it because they fucking... They have a cigar and a glass of whiskey in their icon.

Joe Rogan 14:32 Mm-hmm.

Andrew Santino 14:32 But I go, "What is up with this cigar dick you guys got as your fucking image?" Look at this thing. Look at that. What's up with that cigar cock? (laughs) That is not... I go, "You gotta get someone to reanimate that, bro." That is a weird looking cigar.

Joe Rogan 14:46 That looks like a dick for sure.

Andrew Santino 14:47 It looks like a fucking dick, dude. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 14:49 Why is it all rounded off at the tip?

Andrew Santino 14:50 (laughs) That's what I said, too.

Joe Rogan 14:52 The Bill and Bert Podcast.

Andrew Santino 14:54 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 14:54 All those pe-... Whoever you're hiring at All Things Comedy, pay them some real money. They're mad at you.

Andrew Santino 14:59 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 15:00 They're mad at you and they're-

Andrew Santino 15:01 These guys are dicks.

Joe Rogan 15:01 ... making things look like dicks.

Andrew Santino 15:03 It's fucking... Wait, so what did it say? Did it say bi- "Lock her," "Lock him up," or "Lock her up?" It's "Lock him up," right?

Joe Rogan 15:07 I think it's "Lock him up" is what I was seeing. Yeah.

Andrew Santino 15:09 They booed the president. Has that ever happened at a fucking baseball game?

Joe Rogan 15:12 No. People are... People are very riled up.

Andrew Santino 15:15 Man, they... Yeah. Well, here was the other thing that... I saw they had a connected thing article, uh, you know, that I was reading with that that said 51% of America is pro-impeachment. But I was like, "Where does that fucking poll come from?"

Joe Rogan 15:27 Yeah. Who's... Did they ask you?

Andrew Santino 15:29 No.

Joe Rogan 15:29 They didn't ask me either.

Andrew Santino 15:30 Yeah, so what the f-... Who the fuck said it?

Joe Rogan 15:31 All those polls. Here's the problem with polls. The only people that answer polls are assholes.

Andrew Santino 15:35 Right. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 15:36 Right.

Andrew Santino 15:36 Right.

Joe Rogan 15:36 If they call you up and go, "Hey, Cito, what do you, uh, what do you think about this?" You go, "This is what I think. Don't call me."

Andrew Santino 15:41 Yeah. They're like, "Yeah, leave me the fuck alone."

Joe Rogan 15:43 Don't hang up the phone. Fuck you.

Andrew Santino 15:44 Who even... Can, can you see who conducted that poll, that, that nonsense, uh, the impeachment poll?

Joe Rogan 15:47 Oh, I'm glad, glad you called because I have some very relevant opinions about this impeachment. Uh, if we go back to Nixon, if you really take... Pay attention to the Nixon administration, it's arguable that Trump has been more egregious with his breaking of the Constitution. (laughs) Oh, I'm so exhausted. I wish there was no issues.

Andrew Santino 16:04 Uh.

Joe Rogan 16:05 This is what I wish. I wish there was no one trying to steal, there was no one trying to cheat on their taxes.

Andrew Santino 16:11 Kill.

Joe Rogan 16:11 Everybody was just doing their best and helping each other out.

Andrew Santino 16:15 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 16:15 Just a nice, small, healthy, vibrant, communicating comm- community of people supporting each other. Fox News poll, 51% of voters favor impeachment and removing President Trump from office. That's not good.

Andrew Santino 16:28 That's a Fox poll.

Joe Rogan 16:28 When Fox says that-

Andrew Santino 16:30 Yeah, that's fuck. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 16:31 (laughs)

Andrew Santino 16:31 That's kinda fuck.

Joe Rogan 16:31 In, in July it was 42%.

Andrew Santino 16:34 But I'm saying, where... from where, though? I'd l- I need to know where those come from.

Joe Rogan 16:37 Wow, but look at that. Impeached but not removed in July was 5% and, uh, now it's 4%. Now most people favor him being removed. (sighs) Again-

Andrew Santino 16:49 Agai-... I don't know.

Joe Rogan 16:50 ... who- who are these people?

Andrew Santino 16:51 Who says whom?

Joe Rogan 16:52 Who-

Andrew Santino 16:52 See, sometimes there's good stuff at sporting events, so the other funny thing that happened was the, uh, those girls showed their tits. Did you see that? That was hilarious. These two girls are behind home plate and they're both flashing their tits. They both got banned from Major League Baseball for life and she, she tweeted it and she was, like, "Worth it." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 17:07 It is worth it.

Andrew Santino 17:08 It's awesome too. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 17:09 Sure. She's InstaFamous now.

Andrew Santino 17:10 Yeah. Two of... To her and this other girlfriend of hers. I think somebody told me they're starting a smut magazine or something.

Joe Rogan 17:15 Good.

Andrew Santino 17:15 That was their promo.

Joe Rogan 17:16 Good for them. Get a nice sponsor- This is their promotion, uh, breast, uh-

Andrew Santino 17:19 Cancer awareness?

Joe Rogan 17:21 Cancer, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Andrew Santino 17:21 Yeah, somebody said they started a magazine or something though.

Joe Rogan 17:23 Yeah. Okay.

Andrew Santino 17:23 That they got a company on the rise. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 17:25 Good for them.

Andrew Santino 17:26 Yeah. They show their tits-

Joe Rogan 17:27 Good for them.

Andrew Santino 17:27 ... behind home plate.

Joe Rogan 17:28 How many girls make a living just showing their body to, like, Patreon?

Andrew Santino 17:33 I- Instagram is all, is all dancing, dancing on the line of, like, legal picture prostitution.

Joe Rogan 17:40 Well, the best case of it is Twitter.

Andrew Santino 17:43 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 17:43 'Cause Twitter, they allow you-

Andrew Santino 17:45 You can be-

Joe Rogan 17:45 ... you can take it in the ass-

Andrew Santino 17:46 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 17:47 ... on Twitter.

Andrew Santino 17:48 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 17:48 There's a lot of gals-

Andrew Santino 17:49 Yep.

Joe Rogan 17:49 ... that I have to be real careful if I hand my kids one of my phones, they don't open up that fucking (laughs) Twitter app because in the feed there's-

Andrew Santino 17:55 Daddy, somebody messaged you.

Joe Rogan 17:56 There's dirty, dirty girls.

Andrew Santino 17:58 Yeah, there's filthy-

Joe Rogan 17:58 Like, take it right in the keister.

Andrew Santino 17:59 Well, I love that Twit- Twitter doesn't give a fuck. That's my favorite part about Twitter.

Joe Rogan 18:02 Mm-hmm.

Andrew Santino 18:02 They couldn't care less. They're like, "Go for it."

Joe Rogan 18:04 Well, here's what I love about them. Kyle Dunnigan, when he did that, that animated thing with Michael Jackson. Did you ever see that?

Andrew Santino 18:09 Yeah, I saw it. I loved it.

Joe Rogan 18:10 Amazing.

Andrew Santino 18:11 Yeah, Instagram pulled it down.

Joe Rogan 18:12 Kyle Dunnigan, the funniest fucking guy on Instagram.

Andrew Santino 18:14 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 18:14 They pulled it off of Instagram, but Twitter did not.

Andrew Santino 18:18 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 18:18 Shout out to Twitter for that.

Andrew Santino 18:19 Yeah, hardcore Twitter cool for that shit.

Joe Rogan 18:21 What was that? What'd you show me?

Narrator 18:22 This is...

18:22 ... the, like, the Patreon's website, it's called Only Fans, that they, some of those people use. Not everyone. But this is, like, showing some of the numbers that they've already been paying out-

Andrew Santino 18:31 Wow.

Joe Rogan 18:31 Eight million registered users. (gasps)

Narrator 18:35 Because it, like-

Joe Rogan 18:35 70,000 content creators. Paid out to creators, a $150 million. Paid out to referrers, three million. Referrers? So you, Cheeto-

Andrew Santino 18:46 I think if you-

Joe Rogan 18:47 ... you could refer?

Andrew Santino 18:47 ... I think if I refer, I get, I gotta pay, I get a kick.

Joe Rogan 18:49 You get a kick?

Andrew Santino 18:50 Hell yeah.

Joe Rogan 18:50 $3 million?

Narrator 18:51 5%.

Joe Rogan 18:52 5% commission on all referrals, pay-per-view messaging and tips, live streaming feature. That's interesting. See, who could have a problem with that? If you, if you have a p- if you don't have a problem with people being naked, I don't, you don't.

Andrew Santino 19:07 Nope.

Joe Rogan 19:07 If you don't have a problem with people taking naked pictures, I don't, you don't.

Andrew Santino 19:10 Nope.

Joe Rogan 19:10 Who would have a problem with that?

Andrew Santino 19:11 Not at all.

Joe Rogan 19:11 That seems like the best alternative to prostitution for a lot of these gals.

Andrew Santino 19:15 I think, I think f- and in the world of sex work, I think that's the mo- that makes the most sense. Because this is a l- this is a legit protected legal way for, for them to go, "Hey, do you wanna see me get naked in my house?"

Joe Rogan 19:24 Yeah.

Andrew Santino 19:24 "Give me some fucking money, and I'll do it."

Joe Rogan 19:26 Yeah. And no one should really have a problem with it, right?

Andrew Santino 19:29 Well, there's noth- I mean, what could be ... I don't ... Like, what could be the debatable problem with it, is like, you-

Joe Rogan 19:33 Smut.

Andrew Santino 19:34 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 19:34 People that, people that think it's d- eroding-

Andrew Santino 19:37 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 19:37 ... the fabric of our society.

Andrew Santino 19:39 The Westboro Baptist Church men.

Joe Rogan 19:40 Mm.

Andrew Santino 19:40 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 19:41 I think Kanye West would have an issue with it. He doesn't like, uh, porn anymore.

Andrew Santino 19:44 Well, he doesn't like cuss words now, too.

Joe Rogan 19:46 Yeah, he's done with that.

Andrew Santino 19:47 No cuss words now on the albums.

Joe Rogan 19:48 Well, he, uh, he's starting a new cult.

Andrew Santino 19:51 Yeah, he is.

Joe Rogan 19:51 It's, it's clear. He's, he's on his way. It's probably gonna be huge.

Andrew Santino 19:55 You think it's gonna be, like, a Scientology-sized thing at some point? Where it's gonna be like people go to a place-

Joe Rogan 19:59 If he wants it to be.

Andrew Santino 20:00 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 20:00 I mean, uh, it seems like he's doing it for free, though. You know? I mean, he's got a shit ton of money and so does his gal-

Andrew Santino 20:06 Yeah, but-

Joe Rogan 20:06 So, I mean, if-

Andrew Santino 20:07 He likes business opportunities.

Joe Rogan 20:08 He does, but, I mean, I think it probably opens up the doors for his other businesses, like his Yeezys and his clothes and all that shit.

Narrator 20:15 Like I said, that merch wasn't free. The show was free.

Joe Rogan 20:17 Right. Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

Narrator 20:18 Was, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 20:18 It opens up the opportunities for that stuff. So, so he does the show, and then people are like, uh, "You know, what do I have to do to be in the cult?"

Andrew Santino 20:25 Right.

Joe Rogan 20:25 "Get yourself a pair of '11 Yeezys."

Andrew Santino 20:27 "Just gotta show up with Yeezys, we'll let you in."

Joe Rogan 20:29 Yeah.

Andrew Santino 20:29 "That's all it is. You buy your way in." You'd get in. He love that shit.

Narrator 20:33 I could get a few, I could get a few people in, I think. (laughs)

Andrew Santino 20:35 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 20:35 That's-

Andrew Santino 20:35 You support all that shit so much.

Joe Rogan 20:37 But see, the thing is-

Andrew Santino 20:37 You love it.

Joe Rogan 20:38 ... it's kind of easy to start a cult these days. It really kinda is.

Andrew Santino 20:42 Well, there's so many of them now.

Joe Rogan 20:44 Like, there's, there's so many semi-cults. You know? There's, like ... There's people that have followings-

Andrew Santino 20:49 Right.

Joe Rogan 20:50 ... you know? That they, they, th- you know, they try to-

Andrew Santino 20:52 Somebody could argue this is a cult, though.

Joe Rogan 20:54 (sighs) psh.

Andrew Santino 20:55 You- People could argue that you've cultivated a cult.

Joe Rogan 20:58 You could argue that. However, there's absolutely no membership rituals.

Andrew Santino 21:03 Right.

Joe Rogan 21:03 You do whatever the fuck you want. No one's t- calling it a cult.

Andrew Santino 21:07 No.

Joe Rogan 21:07 You know what I'm saying? Like, some people call it a cult. Like, they say, uh, they'll say, like, "Hey, this is Santino Nation. We're ..." You know?

Andrew Santino 21:13 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 21:13 People do stuff like that, right?

Andrew Santino 21:14 Right, right, right, right.

Joe Rogan 21:14 Like, "This is a, a nation."

Andrew Santino 21:16 Right.

Joe Rogan 21:16 Like, they'll use their name and they'll say, "Nation." Which is woo.

Andrew Santino 21:19 Yeah, yeah. Danger.

Joe Rogan 21:20 Or Army. "This is the Santino Army."

Andrew Santino 21:22 Right.

Joe Rogan 21:22 "You're part of the Santino Army? Yeah."

Andrew Santino 21:23 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 21:23 "We're all in this together."

Andrew Santino 21:24 We're in.

Joe Rogan 21:25 It's very suspect thinking.

Andrew Santino 21:26 We'll do whatever he says.

Joe Rogan 21:27 Very, very suspect thinking. Like that kinda shit.

Andrew Santino 21:29 Well, it just g- it just gives way ... People obey people's word a little bit too much without knowing shit. So they just start, like, it's something to hold onto.

Joe Rogan 21:37 Yeah.

Andrew Santino 21:37 So maybe if their lives are shitty and dull and boring, they hear something and they're like, "I agree with a good amount of that."

Joe Rogan 21:42 Mm-hmm.

Andrew Santino 21:42 And then they fucking latch onto it. That's where it gets scary. 'Cause then people could convince you to do anything. We were talking about those guys, uh, the Proud Boy shit. We were talking about that this weekend.

Joe Rogan 21:50 Mm-hmm.

Andrew Santino 21:50 It's like-

Joe Rogan 21:51 Yeah. The Pr- this ... Well, if you start a group, the thing about groups is, you're, you're now ... If you're at ... Say if you're the leader, like, let's, let's say y- you start the Red Boys.

Andrew Santino 22:00 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 22:00 Okay. Well, you're- (laughs)

Andrew Santino 22:01 The Ginge Boys.

Joe Rogan 22:02 You're the leader. You're the founder and the leader of the Red Boys.

Andrew Santino 22:05 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 22:05 But if you just let any ginger in the group, there's a lot of wacky gingers out there.

Andrew Santino 22:09 I'd say the majority of them.

Joe Rogan 22:10 Just like there's wacky people. And-

Andrew Santino 22:11 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 22:11 ... when people join groups and you start this group and they are saying, "I'm acting as one of the Red Boys," well, you're now sort of in some way connected to whatever the fuck they do.

Andrew Santino 22:22 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 22:22 So if they decide to get radicalized and do a bunch of really fucked up things, you know, like, go after people who don't have red hair or whatever the fuck they decide to do, you're now at least somehow connected to them.

Andrew Santino 22:34 Yeah, 'cause I started the shit.

Joe Rogan 22:35 Yes. I mean, that's-

Andrew Santino 22:37 Yeah, that's creepy, though.

Joe Rogan 22:38 It is. It's-

Andrew Santino 22:38 There's-

Joe Rogan 22:38 ... fucking groups of people are weird, man.

Andrew Santino 22:40 There's too many, too many, uh ... But, but the ... I think, like, the, the influence online is what's creepy to me.

Joe Rogan 22:44 Yeah.

Andrew Santino 22:45 Is people can ... You know, people like ... Remember Meetups? Meetups have gone- somewhat gone away, but, like, at one point people were doing these Meetups where, like, kids were famous on Instagram.

Joe Rogan 22:52 Yeah.

Andrew Santino 22:52 They just loved the idea of being like, "Come meet me at this park-"

Joe Rogan 22:55 Yeah.

Andrew Santino 22:56 "... at 12," and fucking thousands of people would go.

Joe Rogan 22:58 Well, you see what Kevin Hart used to do? He used to have people run with him.

Andrew Santino 23:01 No.

Joe Rogan 23:01 Like, "Meet me and we're gonna do a, we're gonna run a 5K."

Andrew Santino 23:04 Shut up. Would he do that?

Joe Rogan 23:05 Yeah, man.

Andrew Santino 23:05 That's insane.

Joe Rogan 23:06 Hundreds and hundreds of people-

Andrew Santino 23:07 With tons of strangers?

Joe Rogan 23:08 ... would run with him. Oh, yeah.

Andrew Santino 23:08 Nah, so stupid.

Joe Rogan 23:10 You've never seen it?

Andrew Santino 23:10 Uh-uh. Why would he do that?

Joe Rogan 23:11 See if you can get a video of it. Kevin Hart, he would do it at shows. Like, say if he would show up in, uh, Milwaukee or whatever, and he had a concert he was doing there, he would set up, like, uh, a 5K and they would all run.

Andrew Santino 23:22 No. Fuck that.

Joe Rogan 23:24 Well, he's trying to p- ... He's a positive guy, and he's trying to promote positive things, like health and fitness and just getting, being active.

Andrew Santino 23:32 Yeah. You could do that without inviting people to run with you.

Joe Rogan 23:35 Hmm. Sounds like something-

Andrew Santino 23:36 (laughs) I don't want anybody fucking running with me, dude.

Joe Rogan 23:38 No. Well, you don't run anyway.

Andrew Santino 23:39 Yes, I do.

Joe Rogan 23:39 Do you? How often?

Andrew Santino 23:40 Yeah. Every two or three days.

Joe Rogan 23:42 Really?

Andrew Santino 23:42 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 23:42 Where do you run?

Andrew Santino 23:43 In the neighborhood.

Joe Rogan 23:44 No shit?

Andrew Santino 23:45 I run a minimum of f- a minimum of four, but an average of, like, maybe five or six. I don't go-

Joe Rogan 23:50 What? You're one of those-

Andrew Santino 23:50 I don't go near eight.

Joe Rogan 23:51 ... you're a silent runner. You don't tell anybody. You just have to-

Andrew Santino 23:52 Fuck no. I do everything silently.

Joe Rogan 23:54 Look at this. R- Kevin Hart running by a lake. That's a beautiful lake. Where is that, Shane?

Andrew Santino 23:57 Jesus Christ, that's cool.

Narrator 23:58 Is it DC?

Joe Rogan 23:58 Look at all those people. Yay. Everybody seems so happy.

Andrew Santino 24:01 Yeah, they do.

Joe Rogan 24:01 See, they're all healthy, running. That girl at the bottom right, I don't think she's running.

Andrew Santino 24:06 No. I wanna know how many people were there-

Joe Rogan 24:07 (laughs)

Andrew Santino 24:07 ... that didn't run. That were just like, "We showed up." And they bailed.

Joe Rogan 24:10 Most of them.

Andrew Santino 24:10 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 24:10 But look at that, that's a positive thing right there.

Andrew Santino 24:13 Nike gave him a fat check for this.

Joe Rogan 24:15 You think so?

Andrew Santino 24:15 This is all Nike. Fuck yeah.

Joe Rogan 24:17 Oh, there's a Nike logo up there.

Andrew Santino 24:18 It's Nike Pr-

Narrator 24:18 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 24:18 This is nike.com.

Andrew Santino 24:20 Yes.

Narrator 24:20 Yeah, this is, uh, yeah.

Andrew Santino 24:20 This is all Nike, dude.

Narrator 24:21 Yeah. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 24:22 Oh. Hmm. Okay, now-

Andrew Santino 24:23 This is some executive at Nike.

Joe Rogan 24:24 Now I'm not so excited.

Andrew Santino 24:25 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 24:26 (laughs)

Andrew Santino 24:26 Someone goes, "Kev, we got the idea."

Joe Rogan 24:28 Still, forget about it. The fact ... Look, he's a businessman and he's-

Andrew Santino 24:30 And it's a smart-

Joe Rogan 24:31 ... he's positive-

Andrew Santino 24:31 It's a smart move.

Joe Rogan 24:32 ... on top of it. What are you doing? Checking text messages?

Andrew Santino 24:33 I want ... I wanna know ... No, I wanna show you something.... this. I saw this on the toilet this morning. This made me think. Look at how crazy this is. This guy, you could look this up. This guy, they, they pulled, a cop pulled him over, thought he was drunk and he blew, he like-

Joe Rogan 24:45 Yes.

Andrew Santino 24:45 ... blew.

Joe Rogan 24:46 Yeah.

Andrew Santino 24:46 And it turns out he was brewing beer in his own stomach.

Joe Rogan 24:48 Yes, I heard about this guy.

Andrew Santino 24:48 I thought of you this morning. I wanted to, I was like-

Joe Rogan 24:50 He's growing alcohol in his own body.

Andrew Santino 24:52 Yeah. It's a rare syndrome called, uh, auto-brew, auto-brewy something. You, you have to look it up. It's fucking insane.

Joe Rogan 25:00 No one believed him when he said he hadn't been drinking. Then researchers found his body was producing alcohol. That guy on the right, it looks like his body's producing alcohol.

Andrew Santino 25:07 Yeah, right now.

Joe Rogan 25:08 Grr.

Andrew Santino 25:08 Swollen.

Joe Rogan 25:10 And taking shots. Interesting, man. Researchers at Richmond University Medical Center in New York eventually discovered that the man was telling the truth. He wasn't dr- downing beers or cocktails. Instead, there was yeast in his gut that was likely converting carbohydrates in the food he ate to alcohol.

Andrew Santino 25:28 How crazy.

Joe Rogan 25:28 In other words, his body was brewing beer.

Andrew Santino 25:31 That's fuck, auto-brewery syndrome. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 25:33 Wow.

Andrew Santino 25:33 Auto-brewery syndrome.

Joe Rogan 25:35 Is that common?

Andrew Santino 25:36 ABS. No, it is gut verm- gut fermentation syndrome.

Joe Rogan 25:40 How many fucking people have that?

Andrew Santino 25:41 I, I've never heard of it before.

Jamie Vernon 25:42 There was another lady two years, three years ago.

Joe Rogan 25:44 Whoa.

Andrew Santino 25:45 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 25:45 Women claims her body brews alcohol, has DUI charge dismissed. But was, was she hammered?

Andrew Santino 25:51 That dude in the previous article was two and a half times the legal limit.

Jamie Vernon 25:53 Yeah, this is, this was four times the legal limit she blew.

Joe Rogan 25:56 She blew it, right, but was she feeling the effects of it or is it just i- in her blood?

Andrew Santino 26:00 No, it's in their blood.

Joe Rogan 26:01 So-

Andrew Santino 26:01 They don't... He doesn't feel it. They, it just... I, I don't think you exert any symptoms of being drunk. I think it's just-

Joe Rogan 26:07 Really? Are you guessing?

Andrew Santino 26:09 Yeah, I think that's what the article said.

Joe Rogan 26:10 "I'm in touch with 30 people who believe they have the same syndrome. About 10 of them are diagnosed with it," said Panola College Dean of Nursing, Barbara Cordell, who has studied the syndrome for years. "They can function at alcohol levels such as 0.30 and 0.40 when the average person becomes comatose or dying."

Andrew Santino 26:29 Yeah, these people are functioning.

Joe Rogan 26:30 "Part of the mystery of this syndrome is how they can have these extremely high levels and still be walking around and talking." Well, this bitch needs to talk to drunks.

Andrew Santino 26:37 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 26:38 We know a lot of people. We know a lot of people who could function. Who do you know that fu- Bert Kreischer. Bert Kreischer probably does-

Jamie Vernon 26:44 Like that fermentation. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 26:44 ... everything he does at, like, 50 point-

Andrew Santino 26:46 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 26:47 ... 0.50.

Andrew Santino 26:48 Imagine if he, he also-

Joe Rogan 26:49 He's a lightweight.

Andrew Santino 26:49 ... had this, if he had ABS and he drinks like he drinks.

Joe Rogan 26:51 See my Instagram picture, Bert, today?

Andrew Santino 26:53 He looks good.

Joe Rogan 26:54 He looks fucking great.

Andrew Santino 26:55 He looks really good.

Joe Rogan 26:56 That's legit.

Andrew Santino 26:56 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 26:57 You, you know, and, and Whitney was like, "What Instagram filters is this?"

Jamie Vernon 26:59 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 27:00 Like, unless he's doing what, uh, one of, s- some of my wife's friends do.

Andrew Santino 27:04 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 27:05 My wife's friends are fucking... They're-

Jamie Vernon 27:07 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 27:07 They're cartoonists. Look at that.

Andrew Santino 27:09 Where they're able to, like, Photoshop and all that shit.

Joe Rogan 27:11 They're, they're not really taking pictures.

Andrew Santino 27:12 No.

Joe Rogan 27:12 They're cartoonists.

Andrew Santino 27:13 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 27:13 These bitches run filters on these pictures and they shrink their legs down.

Andrew Santino 27:18 Right.

Joe Rogan 27:18 And they fuck with their friends, like they make their friends butt a little smaller or their arms a little bigger.

Andrew Santino 27:22 Bert, that's so diabolical, man.

Joe Rogan 27:23 Yeah, they do weird things.

Andrew Santino 27:24 Would you ever think they'd do anything like-

Joe Rogan 27:25 They, they make their friends chins just a little (imitates laughing)

Andrew Santino 27:28 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 27:28 Give them a fucking double chin and shit.

Jamie Vernon 27:29 A little, a little Jay Leno-ish. (laughs)

Andrew Santino 27:32 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 27:32 The- they definitely do that to each other. They de- and they call each other up, "Hey, take this one down. I don't like how my waist looks."

Narrator 27:37 You don't like it? Hey, you look great.

Joe Rogan 27:38 Oh, you look amazing.

Andrew Santino 27:39 That Bert picture, by the way, the lighting is pretty fucking good. I'm not gonna lie.

Joe Rogan 27:43 Go, go back to the picture.

Jamie Vernon 27:44 I was gonna say that.

Joe Rogan 27:44 There's almost nothing you could do about the side handles.

Andrew Santino 27:46 No, but that lighting is good.

Joe Rogan 27:47 No, no, no. Save it. Look at his side, his sides.

Andrew Santino 27:50 Wait, that looks a little manipulated there, Jamie.

Joe Rogan 27:52 Bro-

Andrew Santino 27:52 What is that?

Jamie Vernon 27:52 That's not manipulated. It-

Joe Rogan 27:53 It's not manipulated.

Jamie Vernon 27:55 (laughs)

Andrew Santino 27:55 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 27:55 Trust me. Bert is not that guy.

Andrew Santino 27:58 He's not smart enough to do that, that's right.

Joe Rogan 27:59 No. No, no, no. That's not what I'm saying. He's not a liar. Like, look, Bert would not do that. That's what he looks like. He's been fucking working out hard.

Jamie Vernon 28:06 He has.

Joe Rogan 28:06 He's down to, like, 225. Look at what Ari, Ari wrote there. "He's raising his arms and sucking in his belly. Tell him to post an in-action side shot of him on stage." Ari's such a hater.

Andrew Santino 28:18 Well, they've got some beef now after the dosing episode.

Joe Rogan 28:20 It's a, it's a gross... Yeah, well, he, Bert should have beat-

Andrew Santino 28:23 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 28:23 ... not Ari.

Andrew Santino 28:24 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 28:24 Ari fucking dosed him. Ari shouldn't have any beef.

Andrew Santino 28:26 Ari's just mad that it didn't land as w- the well he was, the way he wanted. Like, Ari's upset that Bert didn't, like, laugh it off and have fun with it.

Joe Rogan 28:32 Who the fuck laughs off getting dosed with molly?

Andrew Santino 28:34 Trust me, dude, I fucking...

Joe Rogan 28:35 Nobody.

Andrew Santino 28:36 D- dose me would be fucking...

Joe Rogan 28:37 (laughs)

Andrew Santino 28:37 I think they should fight it out.

Jamie Vernon 28:38 (laughs)

Andrew Santino 28:39 Let them fucking slug it out a little while. I think Bert wants to fucking kill him for that.

Joe Rogan 28:44 Who'd you win, who would win that fight? Bert or Ari?

Andrew Santino 28:46 It'd be a fun fight to watch 'cause Early's a- a early... Ari's squirrely. He's got that like, he's like lanky and long and fucking... He could put up a good fight. Bert's got the, Bert's got probably the, Bert's got probably b- you know, the maybe a reach on him. I don't know how much taller he is.

Joe Rogan 29:00 Well, Ari is very tall.

Andrew Santino 29:01 Yeah, he's tall.

Joe Rogan 29:02 He's, what is Ari, like 6'3"?

Jamie Vernon 29:04 Yeah, he has a jujitsu background too, a little bit, right?

Joe Rogan 29:06 A little bit.

Jamie Vernon 29:07 A little bit?

Joe Rogan 29:07 A little bit.

Jamie Vernon 29:07 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 29:08 A little bit. I bought him a year. He probably went... He went until he got staph, and that was about basically the end of his career.

Andrew Santino 29:15 That's when most people would quit.

Joe Rogan 29:16 He got a bad staph infection on his knee, man. It was horrible. Swole up. It looked like he was walking with a limp.

Andrew Santino 29:22 That shit can kill you.

Joe Rogan 29:23 Oh, yeah. He didn't even know he had it. He thought it was a mosqui- or a, a, a spider bite.

Andrew Santino 29:26 And he just let it go for a while?

Joe Rogan 29:27 Bro, we, we were playing pool and he was walking around with a limp. I'm like, "What's wrong with your leg?" And he goes, "I got a spider bite." And, you know, obviously I've done jujitsu forever and I know that sometimes people think it's a spider bite and it's staph. So, I said, "Let me see." He pulls his knee up. I go, "Dude." And I unscrew my pool cue, I go, "Go to the emergency room right now." I go, "You have a bad staph infection."

Andrew Santino 29:45 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 29:45 He thought I was fucking with him. He's like, "Are you serious?" I'm like, "I am dead serious. This can kill you. I'm not kidding." His fucking knee was all swollen.

Andrew Santino 29:53 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 29:53 He had a, like, a real clear staph infection. I'm like, "But dude, you got... I'm, uh, I'm telling you, I'm not a doctor, but that is fucking staph." And then he was angry and he had a really good point. He's like, "Why don't they have signs in the gym?"

Andrew Santino 30:04 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 30:04 Like, you take jujitsu and it's up to everybody to tell you what staph is. 'Cause, um, m- um, Junior dos Santos just pulled out of his fight. He was supposed to fight Alexander Volkov.... but, uh, he got nasty staph in his leg. Like his, uh, lower, uh, leg, like his calf area-

Andrew Santino 30:22 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 30:23 ... all swollen and red and funky 'cause he got a staph infection. The same thing, like, he was like, "Why is it ... It hurts. It's, like, painful." Like, he thought, like, maybe, like, you know, sometimes you clash shins.

Andrew Santino 30:33 Sure.

Joe Rogan 30:33 Him, he would do it a lot, man.

Andrew Santino 30:34 But you get a cut and then it just gets infected.

Joe Rogan 30:36 Yeah, yeah. It could be-

Andrew Santino 30:36 Like my cousin had-

Joe Rogan 30:37 ... just a scratch.

Andrew Santino 30:37 ... MRSA. You know what MRSA is?

Joe Rogan 30:38 Ooh, yeah. It's that-

Andrew Santino 30:39 That's the worst.

Joe Rogan 30:39 It's the worst.

Andrew Santino 30:40 That's the worst version of staph.

Joe Rogan 30:41 Staph.

Andrew Santino 30:41 It's like staph turns into MRSA.

Joe Rogan 30:43 Well, it's ... No, it's medication-resistant staph.

Andrew Santino 30:46 Right.

Joe Rogan 30:46 Staphylococcus, whatever the call, fa-

Andrew Santino 30:48 But it's like the-

Joe Rogan 30:49 The medication stuff.

Andrew Santino 30:50 ... it's like the extreme version.

Joe Rogan 30:51 Yes. Well, it's, it's staph that you find in hospitals, unfortunately.

Andrew Santino 30:54 Right.

Joe Rogan 30:54 Because a lot of times that kind of staph is, uh, immune to medication.

Andrew Santino 30:58 He doesn't even know how he got it. But, I mean, it's ... That stuff f- ... That can ... You can fucking lose, like, a hand and shit over it.

Joe Rogan 31:02 Oh, yeah, man. Yeah.

Andrew Santino 31:03 It's wild.

Joe Rogan 31:03 One of my wife's friends got staph and she went into a fucking coma. She started having seizures.

Andrew Santino 31:07 Jesus.

Joe Rogan 31:08 She got it from a gym, from a dirty gym. Just, like, lifting weights and shit.

Andrew Santino 31:12 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 31:12 Sitting on those machines doing, like, lat pull-downs. She got a little scratch, something happen. Next thing you know she has this infection, doesn't know what it is. It gets systemic and next thing you know she's fucking going into shock. You know?

Andrew Santino 31:23 Ah, see that's-

Joe Rogan 31:23 Her body's freaking out.

Andrew Santino 31:24 ... that's why when I use a gy- ... Like, the gym I go to is, like, immaculate clean and I still walk around ... Like, even in the bathroom I'm in fucking flip-flops. I'm never, ever ... Since playing high school sports you learn. It's like, my dad was always like, "Don't be fucking walking around those locker rooms. You're gonna have cuts on your feet. You have shit splat ... You're, you're bound to catch something. Something nasty."

Joe Rogan 31:40 One of-

Andrew Santino 31:40 ... nasty.

Joe Rogan 31:40 ... Callan's friend's wives died from it.

Andrew Santino 31:43 From, uh, from infection on her foot?

Joe Rogan 31:44 From staph. They were trying to go all homeopathic.

Andrew Santino 31:47 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 31:47 They were, like, trying to cure with, like, fucking parsley and herbs and shit.

Andrew Santino 31:50 (laughs) smacking it with leaves.

Joe Rogan 31:52 And he ... Callan went over to the house and she was bleeding from her gums.

Andrew Santino 31:55 Oh, my god.

Joe Rogan 31:56 And he was like, "What the fuck is going on? You gotta get her to a hospital."

Andrew Santino 31:59 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 31:59 She died.

Andrew Santino 32:00 They just refused to go to the doctor?

Joe Rogan 32:02 I don't know, man.

Andrew Santino 32:02 Fucking absurd.

Joe Rogan 32:02 I don't know the whole story. Callan told it to me years ago. He told it to me when I first got staph. And I was like, "What?" And I, I remember I was on heavy doses of antibiotics to the point where, like, like, I was fuzzy. Like, everything was fuzzy. Like, everything was, like, confusing.

Andrew Santino 32:17 He couldn't think straight?

Joe Rogan 32:18 Oh, my god.

Andrew Santino 32:19 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 32:19 My brain was dog shit. Because the ... Believe it or not, your gut, like, what's inside your gut affects your personality. It affects your ability to think, your energy levels. And when you're on ... When you have staph, they fucking dose you up, son-

Andrew Santino 32:34 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 32:34 ... with heavy duty antibiotics. And I w- I, I couldn't believe that people fight on that sometimes. They fight on antibiotics when they have staph.

Andrew Santino 32:42 'Cause then you're just not in ... You're just totally out of it.

Joe Rogan 32:44 I, I couldn't believe it. I could barely make a fist. I'm like, "How the fuck could anybody fight like this?" Luke Rockhold beat Chris Weidman for the UFC middleweight title when he was on staph medication, which is, like-

Andrew Santino 32:55 And, and totally ... And, and-

Joe Rogan 32:55 ... fucking incredible.

Andrew Santino 32:56 ... he couldn't function on it, high- like, on, on a-

Joe Rogan 32:58 He fucking beat Chris Weidman.

Andrew Santino 32:59 That's fucking insane.

Joe Rogan 33:00 It's insane. I, I have no idea how he did it. He had, like, a nasty staph infection. He wound up actually getting a chunk of meat removed from his, um, from his shin and it's, it's fucked him up so bad. Like, to this day when he fights, and he only fought once, uh, with this, he has to have, like, a wrap over his entire shin. And he had skin graphs and all kinds of shit-

Andrew Santino 33:21 Jesus Christ.

Joe Rogan 33:22 ... and it didn't, didn't totally take. So he has to have ... He has, like, an open wound on his shin, like forever. So he has, like, this big bandage over his shin and then everything's wrapped up and then he puts, like, a sleeve over it. Like, a com- a compressant-

Andrew Santino 33:33 To protect the skin?

Joe Rogan 33:34 Yeah, a compression sleeve.

Andrew Santino 33:35 Ugh.

Joe Rogan 33:36 Over his, over his calf and shin.

Andrew Santino 33:37 I wish I ... There's so much of that shit that's in sports, like, or, uh, what's it, what's it called? Um, it was always around high schools. They're always worried about people getting it from, like, water fountains and shit. Do you know what I'm talking about?

Joe Rogan 33:46 Herpes? Crabs?

Andrew Santino 33:47 Yeah, herpes. (laughs) It's a fucking-

Narrator 33:48 Meningitis?

Andrew Santino 33:48 Meningitis, yeah.

Narrator 33:49 Yeah. Spinal meningitis.

Andrew Santino 33:50 I knew a kid in high school that had meningitis. He lost a hand and a foot-

Joe Rogan 33:53 (exhales)

Andrew Santino 33:54 ... from meningiti- from, like, a high s- from ... But from high school shit, 'cause you're around all these kids with all these fucking diseases-

Joe Rogan 33:58 Yeah.

Andrew Santino 33:58 ... and sicknesses and-

Joe Rogan 33:59 I knew this woman-

Andrew Santino 33:59 ... it's like this little incubator.

Joe Rogan 34:01 ... her kid got paralyzed from getting meningitis from one of those fucking water parks.

Andrew Santino 34:05 Well, that's why usually ... It comes from something ... Water. It happens in-

Joe Rogan 34:07 Yeah.

Andrew Santino 34:07 ... water a lot, apparently.

Joe Rogan 34:09 Just, uh, you know, you get ... That water gets in your ears and it gets in your fucking mouth. There was a comic who died from meningitis.

Andrew Santino 34:16 Do we-

Joe Rogan 34:16 What the fuck was his name?

Andrew Santino 34:17 Do I know who it is?

Joe Rogan 34:17 Yeah. Goddamn it. He ... Redheaded kid. Really nice guy.

Andrew Santino 34:22 (laughs) Mei?

Joe Rogan 34:22 No.

Andrew Santino 34:23 Was it-

Joe Rogan 34:24 No.

Andrew Santino 34:24 That's okay.

Joe Rogan 34:24 A kid from New York. Goddamn it. He f- was flying out to do Fantasy Island.

Andrew Santino 34:30 Th-

Joe Rogan 34:30 Jerry Red Wilson. Jerry Wilson. Yeah, he died from meningitis. He was apparently in the doctor's office, but it was taking too long to get seen by the doctor. He's waiting for, like, 45 minutes. Like, "Fuck this, I'm getting outta here." And he left and he wound up dying.

Andrew Santino 34:44 Holy shit.

Joe Rogan 34:45 Yeah.

Andrew Santino 34:45 How'd he get it? Do you know how he got it from?

Joe Rogan 34:46 Do not know. He was a nice guy too, man. Funny kid too. And his career was just starting to take off. This is like in the '90s. Um-

Andrew Santino 34:54 That's kinda ...

Joe Rogan 34:55 I knew him from New York.

Andrew Santino 34:56 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 34:56 We knew each other from the clubs. And then he came out here. I, I had been living out here for, like, a year or so and he came out here and he ... It was like shit was popping for him. He had a development deal to do a TV show. He was doing the new Fantasy Island. Do you remember when they had Fantasy Island? The new-

Andrew Santino 35:11 I know, yeah.

Joe Rogan 35:11 They, they brought it back. He was doing the new Fantasy Island.

Andrew Santino 35:15 And, uh, and then he ... And then he just refused to fucking go see it again.

Joe Rogan 35:18 Yeah, and he got on a plane.

Andrew Santino 35:19 Jesus Christ.

Joe Rogan 35:19 He got on a plane and I think, I think he actually flew to Hawaii to do the show. And, uh, when he got out there, he was fucked. By the time he got there, he was fucked.

Andrew Santino 35:27 It's always sad when you hear of people that, like ... I don't know if he had instruc- ... You know. Not that he did, but you know when people have instructions to not get on a plane? This happens all the time. People are like, "Fuck that shit." And then they die because of it.

Joe Rogan 35:35 Yeah. Yeah.

Andrew Santino 35:36 It's like that dude that was in Dave Matthews Band.

Joe Rogan 35:38 What happened?

Andrew Santino 35:38 He to- he had surgery. You gotta look it up to make sure I'm not fucking out of my butt, but-

Joe Rogan 35:43 Are you making things up?

Andrew Santino 35:43 Yeah, I'm making it up. Um, he ... I think ... Well, he-

Joe Rogan 35:46 It's fun to make things up. Remember the old days?

Andrew Santino 35:47 Yeah, you didn't have to worry about it.

Joe Rogan 35:49 You could just make things up.

Andrew Santino 35:50 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 35:50 (laughs)

Andrew Santino 35:50 Just making up all day.

Joe Rogan 35:51 You're sitting around drinking beer, talking shit. People just tell you lies. And you're like, "Whoa, I didn't know that you can get cancer from that."

Andrew Santino 35:57 You're like, "Yep, sure can. Give me another beer, Jimmy." Yeah, he died ... He ... I think he, he had surgery and he got on a plane. Right.

Joe Rogan 36:03 There he is.

Andrew Santino 36:03 Leroy Moore, right?

Joe Rogan 36:04 Leroy Moore.

Andrew Santino 36:05 And he got on a fucking plane after the doctors told him not to fucking fly and he did and then he died.

Joe Rogan 36:09 2008.

Andrew Santino 36:11 'Cause he had some-

Narrator 36:11 46 years old.

Andrew Santino 36:11 ... kind of weird surgery, right?

Narrator 36:13 He, he had an accident on his ATV.

Andrew Santino 36:15 Right.

Narrator 36:16 Uh, punctured lung.

Andrew Santino 36:17 Right.

Narrator 36:18 Maybe it was that 'cause the air pressure was-

Joe Rogan 36:19 He died from that?Wow. Oh, he... P- p- pneumonia?

Jamie Vernon 36:24 Blood clot.

Joe Rogan 36:25 He got pneumonia?

Jamie Vernon 36:26 Those two are different.

Joe Rogan 36:28 "He died from a blood clot. The coroner's office determined his cause of death to be pneumonia." Wow. Fuck.

Andrew Santino 36:35 But, uh, but, uh, is... I don't know if it's gonna say it on there. I'm almost positive that they told him not to get on a fucking plane and he did anyway.

Joe Rogan 36:40 Bro, how much does it take? L- how many years does it take off a flight attendant's life?

Andrew Santino 36:45 I mean, they, they look, they all look so sad now. They look sadder than they did when I was young.

Jamie Vernon 36:49 (laughs)

Andrew Santino 36:49 Why is that, dude? They all look so fucking sad. Did it get... Did, did the pay get worse?

Joe Rogan 36:54 It can't be good.

Andrew Santino 36:56 No, it never was good, but the be-... People used to do it usually because they were like, "I could fly for free and so can everybody in my family." But now everyone I see, every flight we take, they look fucking miserable.

Joe Rogan 37:05 Maybe it's you. You're handing out barf bags and shit.

Andrew Santino 37:09 I know.

Joe Rogan 37:09 Throwing up all over yourself in the bathroom.

Jamie Vernon 37:11 (laughs)

Andrew Santino 37:11 Clean this up.

Joe Rogan 37:12 Barf! (gagging)

Andrew Santino 37:15 Even the ones that like... Even the ones that I'm, I have a good feeling about, even they seem, like, bummed the fuck out.

Joe Rogan 37:21 Yeah?

Andrew Santino 37:21 I don't... I just like... I... Even when I'm like, "Hey, how are you doing?" They're like, "Hi. Do you want something before we leave?" I just feel like that's a g-... It's a tough, tough gig, man.

Joe Rogan 37:28 Hmm.

Andrew Santino 37:28 That's a tough fucking gig to constantly be like... You know what it really is? 'Cause people are such pieces of shit and we're be-... We're becoming more pieces of shit. Like, nobody obeys any of the fucking rules about, like, overhead space and any of that stuff. And I think it's e-... It's extreme now 'cause people are like, "I'm not checking my fucking bag."

Joe Rogan 37:44 It is.

Andrew Santino 37:45 "I'll stuff it in the roof."

Joe Rogan 37:46 People do get a little cunty though. Some, um, lady and this guy got a little cunty with me on the flight over 'cause all the overhead bins were full. And I was in one row and they were, like, four rows behind me, and I went back there and I moved some stuff around and put my bag up there. And the guy's like, "You think he would use the bin that's above his head."

Andrew Santino 38:07 Right. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 38:09 I'm like, "Don't you think I would if it was open?"

Andrew Santino 38:11 (laughs) Fucking asshole.

Joe Rogan 38:11 Like, doesn't he look... Like, he didn't even look. Like, look at all these bags.

Andrew Santino 38:14 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 38:14 You don't see all these bags? Like-

Andrew Santino 38:15 People, people are... People cop attitudes for... And they get mad at the... This was insane. We were in Denver coming back and, um, a dude, uh, they had canceled the flight and a dude was losing it on the gate attendant, you know. He was like, "You fucking, you fucking asshole," da-da-da-da-da, like going off. And everyone's kind of, like, turned, like, pissed, like, fucking pissed that this guy's losing on this asshole in a public space like this for no reason. And this dude is sitting on the floor and I can tell he's, like, kind of bobbing and he's, like, reeling. And then finally he pipes up, he goes, "Hey, go fly another fucking airline. It's not this guy's fucking fault." And then this guy was like, "Oh, what do you care about it?" He's like, "Dude, it's not his fault. If you got an issue with it, let's go take a walk." And th-... And you could tell his, his alpha fucking step up scared this dude to death. And, and he was like, "Don't fucking yell at that guy. That guy has nothing to do with it."

Joe Rogan 39:02 When, when people do that, they're cunts.

Andrew Santino 39:03 Yeah. At, at... Yeah, it-

Joe Rogan 39:03 Any guy who yells at someone, some flight attendant or someone who works at the desk, it's not their call.

Andrew Santino 39:08 Turd.

Joe Rogan 39:08 They don't get to make the call.

Andrew Santino 39:09 No.

Joe Rogan 39:09 They're employees.

Andrew Santino 39:11 The guy at the desk, he has nothing. He doesn't... He... And by the way, he doesn't care.

Joe Rogan 39:13 Right.

Andrew Santino 39:13 He's like, "Dude, I get paid-"

Joe Rogan 39:14 Why?

Andrew Santino 39:14 "... fucking hourly. I'm barely here."

Joe Rogan 39:16 Right. He's not prete-... He's not pretending he runs Delta or-

Andrew Santino 39:19 (laughs) Right, right, right.

Joe Rogan 39:20 ... United or whatever the fuck it is.

Andrew Santino 39:20 But I love what the guy said. He goes, "Go fly another fucking airline." 'Cause the guy kept saying, he goes, "You guys do this all the time." And the dude on the ground goes, "Go fly another airline, bud. There's a ton of them if you're so unhappy."

Joe Rogan 39:29 Wow.

Andrew Santino 39:30 He's like, "Don't fucking yell at those..." I don-... I... That really-

Joe Rogan 39:32 You have to deal with the conflict and the, the heat in the air.

Andrew Santino 39:34 Yeah. It was thick. It was nice.

Joe Rogan 39:35 Correctly.

Andrew Santino 39:35 Well, I went up to him, I was like, "Dude, that's cool that you said that." And he goes, "Well, that guy's a piece of shit." I was like, you know, 'cause it's like somebody should say something, but-

Joe Rogan 39:41 I know, but it's that leap-

Andrew Santino 39:43 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 39:43 ... before you say something. Like, "Do I tell this guy to shut the fuck up? 'Cause then he's my problem."

Andrew Santino 39:48 Yep.

Joe Rogan 39:48 Right now, it's not my problem.

Andrew Santino 39:49 Nope. That's what I mean. It's like-

Joe Rogan 39:51 That could be my problem.

Andrew Santino 39:51 ... do I wanna step into that world where this asshole then becomes a thing with me and then it's a whole thing? So-

Joe Rogan 39:56 Well, it could become violence.

Andrew Santino 39:58 Yeah. And it's-

Joe Rogan 39:58 You never know.

Andrew Santino 39:59 It's just... And you don't know these f-... You don't know this freak, you know what I mean?

Joe Rogan 40:01 If he's that dumb that he's yelling at some lady that works there or-

Andrew Santino 40:04 Right.

Joe Rogan 40:04 ... some guy that works there-

Andrew Santino 40:05 Exactly.

Joe Rogan 40:05 ... he's a fucking moron. Who knows what kind of shitty judgment that guy's gonna have?

Andrew Santino 40:08 He d-... He was bald with a ponytail. That says everything.

Joe Rogan 40:11 Oh!

Andrew Santino 40:11 That says everything.

Joe Rogan 40:11 That's everything.

Andrew Santino 40:12 You know? It's everything, man. The-

Joe Rogan 40:12 That's a terrible look.

Andrew Santino 40:13 You know that guy. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 40:14 Unless he's Tong Po. Stop it.

Andrew Santino 40:16 Stop it. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 40:18 (laughs)

Andrew Santino 40:18 Bald ponytail is such a choice.

Joe Rogan 40:20 Why would anybody do that? Why would you do bald ponytail?

Andrew Santino 40:22 It's so funny, man.

Jamie Vernon 40:24 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 40:24 Is there a girl out there that fucks guys only who are bald with ponytails?

Andrew Santino 40:27 Sadly, yeah.

Joe Rogan 40:28 Come on.

Andrew Santino 40:28 Sadly, someone-

Joe Rogan 40:29 Really?

Andrew Santino 40:29 ... fucks the bald ponytail guy. (clicks tongue) If he-

Joe Rogan 40:31 How does that work?

Andrew Santino 40:32 (laughs) H- h- what's his, what's his game?

Joe Rogan 40:34 Yeah.

Andrew Santino 40:35 Money.

Joe Rogan 40:35 Speaking of bald ponytail, did you see what happened in the game when LeBron's hair fell off?

Andrew Santino 40:39 I... Somebody showed me a photo, but I thought that looked so f-... Was that real?

Joe Rogan 40:42 Bro. No, it's real. Look, the guy is a fucking billionaire.

Andrew Santino 40:46 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 40:46 He's a, a god amongst men.

Andrew Santino 40:49 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 40:49 He's a giant super athlete with a really well-shaped head. What the fuck, man?

Andrew Santino 40:54 Shave your head, bud.

Joe Rogan 40:54 Shave your goddamn head.

Andrew Santino 40:55 Pill up that picture 'cause I wanna see the fucking... I think that's-

Joe Rogan 40:57 He's got some nonsense glued on his head-

Andrew Santino 40:59 (laughs) For-

Joe Rogan 40:59 ... that's, like, not his hair.

Andrew Santino 41:00 ... he has a toupee?

Joe Rogan 41:01 Look at that, look at that. See, his hair-

Andrew Santino 41:03 Holy sh-

Joe Rogan 41:03 ... moved up and someone had to tell him. He says like, "Oh, thanks bro." So he get the, the bandana back in place. His hair moved.

Andrew Santino 41:12 Wait, why did he do that?

Joe Rogan 41:12 Yeah, he's got some shit glued on his head. Bro, the guy, he's handsome. He's a superior physical specimen. He's a g-

Andrew Santino 41:21 LeBron's hair falls out during game. (laughs)

Jamie Vernon 41:23 Oh, God. Go fullscreen, Caden. It goes fullscreen.

Andrew Santino 41:25 It's terrible. (laughs)

Jamie Vernon 41:26 There it goes. It keeps disappearing.

Andrew Santino 41:27 Anthony Davis is telling him, "Hey dog, your hair's up. Your hair fell off, dog." Oh, he did tell him.

Jamie Vernon 41:34 Yeah.

Andrew Santino 41:34 "Hey, hey."

Joe Rogan 41:36 Oh, he's pointing to his hair.

Jamie Vernon 41:36 He says, "Something's up with your hair."

Joe Rogan 41:38 And he's laughing. Are they friends?

Andrew Santino 41:40 Yeah.

Jamie Vernon 41:41 Yeah. He's the only guy... So I was telling you, he's the only guy on the team that could probably tell him that. Anybody else would get traded immediately, probably.

Joe Rogan 41:45 Look at him. He's fucking with his hair. "Oh, shit. Oh, shit."

Jamie Vernon 41:48 And that last night, he didn't have the headband on.

Joe Rogan 41:50 Patting it down.

Jamie Vernon 41:50 He asked me to fix it up nice.

Joe Rogan 41:52 Oh, God.

Andrew Santino 41:53 He did have the headband on?

Jamie Vernon 41:54 No, he did not last night.

Joe Rogan 41:55 But look at his... That's nonsense what's going on with his hair or something.

Andrew Santino 41:59 Hey, hey, something wrong with your hair.

Jamie Vernon 42:00 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 42:00 "Yo, dog." Look, he's laughing. "Yo, dog, gotta fix that." Just so weird. Like, why would... Why does he wanna deal with that? You know what it is? 'Cause he hasn't accepted it yet.

Andrew Santino 42:10 Yeah. But also, he's still young. He's thirty-sfi-... 35.

Joe Rogan 42:13 Whatever. Brr, brr. (blows raspberries)

Andrew Santino 42:14 Yeah, I know. But for, in his mind, he's like, "I gotta still be the, the young guy," you know.

Joe Rogan 42:18 Yeah. But shave your fucking head.

Andrew Santino 42:19 It's like John Cena grew his hair out now. I saw him on a fucking billboard and he has long hair, and he always had, like, short military cut, you know.

Joe Rogan 42:25 Well, he's trying to be a family man now. We were talking about that.

Andrew Santino 42:27 I know. He wants to be that guy.

Joe Rogan 42:28 You, you were talking about the movies he's doing now.

Andrew Santino 42:30 It's kids k-... Like, a kid's firefighter movie or some bullshit.

Joe Rogan 42:33 Is that bad?

Andrew Santino 42:33 Oh, come on, dude.He wants to do The Rock. He wants to be The Rock so fucking bad.

Joe Rogan 42:39 Well, it seems like a good move. Well-

Andrew Santino 42:40 Yeah, but he'll... But he won't be The Rock. The Rock is the fucking Rock.

Joe Rogan 42:43 Hmm.

Andrew Santino 42:43 He's not gonna come anywhere near being The Rock.

Joe Rogan 42:45 Can't be... Can't he be John Cena?

Andrew Santino 42:46 Nope.

Joe Rogan 42:47 Can't even be John Cena?

Andrew Santino 42:49 Nope. Take a hike-

Joe Rogan 42:49 But he is.

Andrew Santino 42:50 ... bud. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 42:50 (laughs) He is John Cena.

Andrew Santino 42:52 He just wants to follow that path of, like, WWE guy who's, like, sweet and nice and affable and also strong and can play the tough guy. But s- but The Rock is a, a special person. People think they're gonna be that guy.

Joe Rogan 43:05 But can't he be a version of that?

Andrew Santino 43:06 No.

Joe Rogan 43:07 What can he do?

Andrew Santino 43:08 No, 'cause look what it... It l- it always looks cheap. Look at fucking, uh... What's the guy in the Fast and Furious? What... Who's... What's his name?

Joe Rogan 43:12 Vin Diesel?

Andrew Santino 43:13 Yeah. It always looks cheesy. He's like, "I got the... I got the family. Family over everything." He sounds cheesy everything he does. He... The big tough guy thing is like... Only so many guys can pull it off anymore.

Joe Rogan 43:26 Well, it has to be authentic.

Andrew Santino 43:27 It has to be g- It has to be-

Joe Rogan 43:28 Like, The Rock-

Andrew Santino 43:28 ... who you are.

Joe Rogan 43:28 The... First of all, The Rock's an undeniable giant tough guy.

Andrew Santino 43:31 Yeah, he's a fucking badass.

Joe Rogan 43:32 Like, if you look at him, he's a gorilla.

Andrew Santino 43:33 Yeah. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 43:33 He's built like a fucking brick shithouse.

Andrew Santino 43:35 Yes. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 43:35 He's 6-foot-6, stacked, super genes, Hawaiian, gorgeous man.

Andrew Santino 43:42 Mammoth man.

Joe Rogan 43:43 Super nice. Everybody loves him. Who doesn't like The Rock?

Andrew Santino 43:45 Nobody. It's just so that-

Joe Rogan 43:47 He's so big, too.

Andrew Santino 43:47 So it's authentic.

Joe Rogan 43:48 Jesus Christ, he's so big.

Andrew Santino 43:49 And, uh, John Cena... John Cena's a f- I'm sure he's a tough guy. I'm sure he's strong, he's tough. It's just something's... I think they all think that they can come into Hollywood and it's like an easy transfer. It's like it's not-

Joe Rogan 43:57 It's definitely not easy.

Andrew Santino 43:58 No, it's just not the same thing.

Joe Rogan 44:00 Well, you know who's doing it though? Dave Bautista. He's found his way. He has.

Andrew Santino 44:04 I know.

Joe Rogan 44:05 He's in that movie-

Andrew Santino 44:05 Stuber.

Joe Rogan 44:06 ... with, uh... What the fuck's-

Andrew Santino 44:06 Kumail.

Joe Rogan 44:07 ... his name? Yeah. But he's in Guardians of the Galaxy. He's great in those movies.

Andrew Santino 44:10 I tell you... You want me to tell you... I'm gonna tell you a story?

Joe Rogan 44:12 What are you gonna tell me?

Andrew Santino 44:13 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 44:13 Tell me something.

Andrew Santino 44:14 I shouldn't.

Joe Rogan 44:14 He's great in those movies.

Andrew Santino 44:15 No. He's... Yeah. I did-

Joe Rogan 44:17 He's not?

Andrew Santino 44:17 I d- I... Yeah.

Joe Rogan 44:18 Tell me.

Andrew Santino 44:18 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 44:18 Mm-hmm.

Andrew Santino 44:19 I did a table read for that movie for f-

Joe Rogan 44:22 Yeah.

Andrew Santino 44:22 You know, 'cause I, I knew some of the people involved. And we were just tabl- uh, you know, they just want people to come and read and...

Joe Rogan 44:26 Right.

Andrew Santino 44:27 And, uh, I was table reading for it. And Bautista, man, he, he... I... Look, I felt like he didn't wanna even fucking do it. Like half of the time it was-

Joe Rogan 44:35 Guardians of the Galaxy?

Andrew Santino 44:36 No, no, no, no, no, no. The, the thing with Kumail. The Stuber thing.

Joe Rogan 44:39 Oh.

Andrew Santino 44:39 But he was reading it and he was, he was doing... I mean, he had glasses on. He was like doing this. I mean, seriously, he would, he would go like this. He'd go... I mean, this is a script.

Joe Rogan 44:45 Right.

Andrew Santino 44:45 He's in front of like all the executives and shit.

Joe Rogan 44:47 Right.

Andrew Santino 44:47 And he would go, "Uh, time to be... time to be the guy that I need to be."

Joe Rogan 44:53 Wait a minute. But as for you, you-

Andrew Santino 44:55 No, dude. This is for-

Joe Rogan 44:56 But-

Andrew Santino 44:56 This is everyone is-

Joe Rogan 44:57 Table read.

Andrew Santino 44:57 Yeah, table read, like everyone's in the room. That means like executives, producers, directors.

Joe Rogan 45:00 So he had never gotten the script before this?

Andrew Santino 45:02 It felt like it was fucking his first time on that boat, bud. I was like, "What is going on, dude?" (laughs)

Joe Rogan 45:06 Maybe it was.

Andrew Santino 45:07 M- a- of the... for the... I mean-

Joe Rogan 45:09 For that script.

Andrew Santino 45:09 ... for the studio? That's-

Joe Rogan 45:10 Maybe that script.

Andrew Santino 45:11 That'd be crazy. That'd be crazy for him to never see that script and then do a studio table read. I shouldn't even have said that. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 45:18 Hmm.

Andrew Santino 45:18 Whatever. I'm not in the movie.

Joe Rogan 45:21 Yeah.

Andrew Santino 45:21 It just felt like he was like... I- I'm just saying, the difference when you meet people in, in, in, in this industry, in the television, te- television and film, that are like just really, really good.

Joe Rogan 45:32 Right. On it.

Andrew Santino 45:32 It's just... It... You see it right away. They're on... They're fucking... I bet you The Rock is phenomenal in table reads. And table reads-

Joe Rogan 45:38 Yeah.

Andrew Santino 45:38 ... are important 'cause the studio gets to see it. They get to kinda-

Joe Rogan 45:40 Right.

Andrew Santino 45:40 You're selling it a little bit. You know what I mean?

Joe Rogan 45:43 Yes.

Andrew Santino 45:43 The movie's gonna get fucking made. It doesn't matter.

Joe Rogan 45:45 Yeah.

Andrew Santino 45:45 But it's just like, it sells you more to all of these o-other sources to feel like-

Joe Rogan 45:49 Yep.

Andrew Santino 45:50 ... this is the guy we wanna get behind.

Joe Rogan 45:51 Yep.

Andrew Santino 45:51 Because I've run into a lot of great actors and actresses in the business and like, "You can fucking tell, dude." The way that they handle things sometimes, you're like, "Oh man, that's why they're good." They just are like ready for it.

Joe Rogan 46:02 Mm-hmm.

Andrew Santino 46:02 It's like a... It's, it's like a, a good... Uh, it's the same way a good comedian can just turn on, you know? We can be having this conversation seconds later. You get on stage and it's like, and you just know, you know when to... you know when to produce.

Joe Rogan 46:14 Well, maybe he already got the gig and-

Andrew Santino 46:16 Didn't give a fuck.

Joe Rogan 46:16 That's just... Does... Yeah, he doesn't give a fuck.

Andrew Santino 46:18 That's a bummer.

Joe Rogan 46:19 Hmm, maybe.

Andrew Santino 46:19 I guess. I g- Maybe.

Joe Rogan 46:21 And was the movie good?

Andrew Santino 46:22 I didn't see it. I don't know. Did you see it?

Joe Rogan 46:24 Anybody see it?

Andrew Santino 46:24 There you go. I don't know.

Joe Rogan 46:26 You know what's a bummer to me? That fucking Will Smith movie. When we-

Andrew Santino 46:29 What? The Gemini Man?

Joe Rogan 46:31 Did we do a review for that?

Andrew Santino 46:31 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 46:31 Nobody went to see it. Big... Giant l- box office loss. Looked fucking amazing.

Andrew Santino 46:35 But it was up against like two other... Right? Didn't it come out-

Joe Rogan 46:38 Up against The Joker.

Andrew Santino 46:38 Joker and one other film, though.

Joe Rogan 46:40 Yeah. What was the other one?

Andrew Santino 46:41 Something else.

Joe Rogan 46:41 Some- something big.

Andrew Santino 46:41 Something else that was fucking huge. It's like you couldn't... Did you see Joker? You found this one, yeah?

Joe Rogan 46:45 Yes.

Andrew Santino 46:45 Yeah? Okay.

Joe Rogan 46:45 Yes, I saw it. I loved it.

Andrew Santino 46:47 I'm gonna tell you. When I t- I told you this when we were in Detroit. I go... I, I nearly lost my shit. A, uh... I hear, I hear in the middle of the film, in the middle of like a really serious scene, I hear someone go... (laughs) They're punched in on his face. I hear a woman go, "Did they Photoshop a harelip on him?" (laughs) I was losing it. I almost threw my popcorn. I was almost like, "That's it. I'm outta here."

Joe Rogan 47:08 Oh.

Andrew Santino 47:09 I felt like the way I felt when I first saw the movie-

Joe Rogan 47:11 When you hea-

Andrew Santino 47:11 ... Belly in theater.

Joe Rogan 47:12 When you hear things-

Andrew Santino 47:13 Like that.

Joe Rogan 47:14 Like, you hear things sometimes, like you hear things like outta nowhere.

Andrew Santino 47:18 You heard-

Joe Rogan 47:18 I heard, I heard a girl say, "In the ass is okay. But in the ass and the mouth, no fucking way."

Andrew Santino 47:23 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 47:24 I heard a girl say that.

Andrew Santino 47:24 She's right. She's right.

Joe Rogan 47:26 But it's just like that com- that combination of things y- when you... Like, what? (exhales)

Andrew Santino 47:31 You're like, "I'm sorry. This is Jimmy John's. Can you, can you not-"

Joe Rogan 47:33 "In the ass is fine. But in the ass and in the mouth, no fucking way."

Andrew Santino 47:36 Uh-uh.

Joe Rogan 47:36 Like, oh boy.

Andrew Santino 47:37 Where... What was the context-

Joe Rogan 47:38 Oh, man.

Andrew Santino 47:39 ... of that fucking conversation?

Joe Rogan 47:40 I don't, I don't remember.

Andrew Santino 47:41 There... Well, there's a site that's-

Joe Rogan 47:42 Think it was a bar.

Andrew Santino 47:42 ... dedicated to that called Overheard in LA. Overheard in LA.

Joe Rogan 47:45 (laughs)

Andrew Santino 47:45 And all they do is talk about bullshit that you hear in Los Angeles that's like-

Joe Rogan 47:49 (laughs)

Andrew Santino 47:49 ... stupid LA only phrases, you know?

Joe Rogan 47:51 Yeah.

Andrew Santino 47:51 And that's gotta be one of them.

Joe Rogan 47:53 This place.

Andrew Santino 47:55 It's... You're, you're out.

Joe Rogan 47:57 I'm checked out because it's on fire.

Andrew Santino 47:59 I know.

Joe Rogan 47:59 It's on fire. The whole fucking place is on fire. Bel Air is on fire right now.

Andrew Santino 48:02 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 48:03 Bel Air.

Andrew Santino 48:03 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 48:04 Yeah. What do we got? Girl dressed as a cat. "I'm almost 30. This Halloween is my last chance to fuck a guy dressed as Harry Potter." (laughs)

Andrew Santino 48:15 (laughs) That's great. See? That shit's fucking great.

Joe Rogan 48:19 Overheard in LA. How much, uh, are those writers, though, that are writing that kinda stuff?

Andrew Santino 48:22 It's gotta be, of course.

Joe Rogan 48:22 Probably.

Andrew Santino 48:23 I'm sure it, I'm sure it was birthed organically. I'm sure some, some dude started it for fun and then it just, you know, kept going. Yeah, I'd like to fucking, I'd like to go away from the fires. Northern California is even worse than we are. I think we complain, but they're really lit up.

Joe Rogan 48:34 Sonoma's on fire.

Andrew Santino 48:36 Bad. Yeah, it's bad.

Joe Rogan 48:36 Yeah, they get it bad.

Andrew Santino 48:37 Yeah, it's bad up there.

Joe Rogan 48:38 Yeah, that's where Henry Cejudo almost burnt, fucking burnt to death. You can catch fires, man, everywhere that's dry and LA is dry as fuck.

Andrew Santino 48:47 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 48:47 And last year, we got a lot of rain in the winter and everybody predicted that all the spring was gonna dry out as soon as the rainy season was over, the grass was gonna grow really high because of all the nutrients and all the water. And then boom, because the nutrient- when, when you have fires and then water, it's a terrible combination because apparently all the carbon from the fire actually helps all these plants grow.

Andrew Santino 49:09 Right.

Joe Rogan 49:10 And then it just gets-

Andrew Santino 49:10 So it's overgrown and then now it's overgrown-

Joe Rogan 49:12 Yeah.

Andrew Santino 49:12 ... there's all this dead shit now.

Joe Rogan 49:12 Dude, it's so overgrown.

Andrew Santino 49:14 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 49:14 It's so- when the, the areas where I run, weeds were higher than I'd ever seen them before.

Andrew Santino 49:19 Right.

Joe Rogan 49:19 Like fucking six-foot-tall weeds and all that, um, uh, mustard grass shit.

Andrew Santino 49:23 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 49:23 You know that stuff?

Andrew Santino 49:24 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 49:24 That fucking shit's everywhere, man.

Andrew Santino 49:26 And then when that dries up, it's over. What are those things called, uh, that, like my dog gets them. Foxtails? You know, the-

Joe Rogan 49:30 Yes.

Andrew Santino 49:31 Oh my God, dude.

Joe Rogan 49:32 Everywhere.

Andrew Santino 49:32 And that shit's dry and fucked up everywhere.

Joe Rogan 49:34 Well, my dog gets them everywhere 'cause he has long hair.

Andrew Santino 49:36 Yeah, because Goldens are bad with that.

Joe Rogan 49:37 And he runs into the fucking bushes, he loves that shit. He's crazy.

Andrew Santino 49:41 (laughs) Takes forever.

Joe Rogan 49:42 Yeah.

Andrew Santino 49:42 We took my dog fucking camping, that was the worst shit on earth 'cause she was just rolling around in that shit.

Joe Rogan 49:46 Oh, they love it.

Andrew Santino 49:47 And she gets back all happy and I'm like, "Goddamn it, I gotta pick these fucking things up for like an hour."

Joe Rogan 49:51 You gotta brush him. You gotta brush him.

Andrew Santino 49:53 It's the worst.

Joe Rogan 49:53 Yeah. Yeah.

Andrew Santino 49:54 Yeah, we're on fire. I wanna go. I wish we could go.

Joe Rogan 49:56 Where would you go? You'd go to Chicago, right?

Andrew Santino 49:58 I'd go back to Chicago. Yeah, I would. If I really could, I would. If I could just tour from Chicago and then do whatever I wanted to do every once in a while. If-

Joe Rogan 50:05 Why couldn't you?

Andrew Santino 50:06 So much to do here. There's so much shit here. So much-

Joe Rogan 50:09 You know what's the problem?

Andrew Santino 50:10 Hm?

Joe Rogan 50:11 Friends.

Andrew Santino 50:11 Yeah, friends.

Joe Rogan 50:12 Like you and Diaz and all, all our friends that are here. You know, I love the fact, like last night I did that benefit for Calen, Calen's friend.

Andrew Santino 50:21 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 50:22 I go there, Schaub's there, Norm MacDonald's there, we're all having fun, Calen's there. We're all laughing and hugging each other. We have a great time. Chappelle Lacey was there.

Andrew Santino 50:33 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 50:34 We're all laughing and it's so fun. I'm like, "I love the fact that I can leave my house." I left my house at eight o'clock, I'm there at nine, I'm home by like midnight. You know? Not, not even, I think I was home at 11:30. I was only there for like an hour and a half, but I had a great time.

Andrew Santino 50:46 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 50:46 I had a recharge of comradery and friendship.

Andrew Santino 50:49 You're not gonna get that if you leave.

Joe Rogan 50:50 And plus, it was cool to do, you know, we did an arena Saturday night-

Andrew Santino 50:54 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 50:54 ... and then we go to do the main room. It's like you, you feel the difference between those two rooms.

Andrew Santino 50:59 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 50:59 So, so different, man.

Andrew Santino 51:00 Well, you, you know what you ought to talk about is how fucking we were taken back by the Fox Theater was fucking insane in Detroit, huh?

Joe Rogan 51:06 Yeah, people, you could see it on my Instagram. I took, uh, videos of it and some photos, and it's the most beautiful theater. And I've worked in a lot of beautiful theaters-

Andrew Santino 51:15 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 51:15 This is the most beautiful theater I've ever seen.

Andrew Santino 51:16 It was stunning, man. When they, they, the, the staff was so cool. They took us out afterwards. The show was done, we had chilled for a while. Me and Ian Edwards, um, and Joe had gone back down to the stage and holy shit.

Joe Rogan 51:27 Yeah, look at that.

Andrew Santino 51:27 Look at how fucking incredible that is.

Joe Rogan 51:29 It's crazy. And this is from the 1920s and they restored it, did he say in the '80s?

Andrew Santino 51:34 '80s, yeah, in the '80s it got restored.

Joe Rogan 51:36 Fucking A, this place is beautiful. And the staff there is proud.

Andrew Santino 51:40 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 51:40 Like, like that dude that... I forget, I don't remember his name, unfortunately. Really nice guy that-

Andrew Santino 51:45 Look at that.

Joe Rogan 51:45 ... that gave us all the, uh, and then they took, turned the lights down for us so we could see, um, what it really looks like. And then turned the, uh, the, the roof light on. 'Cause they had all these spotlights on so they could clean and get everything ready. And they turned those down for us and then turned the house lights on so we could see all the ornate gilded woodwork. And just like, you can't build a place like this anymore.

Andrew Santino 52:06 And the way, and you can, you can kind of see on the top row there's faces carved up there.

Joe Rogan 52:10 Yeah.

Andrew Santino 52:10 And he said they're all hand-done. I mean, it's just, it was fucking unreal. Oh, he said, uh, he said they redid it in the '80s and five guys died while building it.

Joe Rogan 52:18 Mm-hmm.

Andrew Santino 52:18 While, while fixing it. And he had said when they had a guy up there f- cleaning, they found a helmet and like a, like a pickax almost, um, that was like placed in the... The helmet was on the pickax.

Joe Rogan 52:30 Oh.

Andrew Santino 52:30 And this bozo comes down and he's like, "Hey Mick, look at the, look at this shit." And the guy was like, "Hey put that back, that was a, in memory of one of the builders that died during the dif- original construction of it."

Joe Rogan 52:41 Oh.

Andrew Santino 52:41 Like they had put it deep in the rafters. They found, he found it while he was cleaning.

Joe Rogan 52:44 Oh.

Andrew Santino 52:44 It was awesome. He was like, "This place is..." And he, and then right away, of course I knew it was gonna go there, after me and Joe were like, "Oh yeah, fucking yeah. This is amazing." And then he goes, then he goes, "And you know it's haunted." I was like, "I knew that was coming." I could tell from that face.

Joe Rogan 52:57 (laughs) Everything's haunted.

Andrew Santino 52:57 I could just l- I could look from his face, he wanted to tell us that so bad.

Joe Rogan 53:00 Your mother's pussy's haunted.

Andrew Santino 53:01 Your mother's pussy's... He, he said somebody-

Joe Rogan 53:03 So haunted.

Andrew Santino 53:03 George Lopez? No. He said some comic was there and could hear the knocking. Apparently there was like knocking in the roof, and he just bitched about it half of the show. Was saying like he kept hearing the knocking while he was on stage. And I was like, "Really? The, the laughter didn't subdue the fucking knocking?"

Joe Rogan 53:18 He might be bombing, bro.

Andrew Santino 53:20 (laughs) Yeah, dude you could hear the knocking?

Joe Rogan 53:21 "There's something about the knocking that's bothering me."

Andrew Santino 53:24 Well, dude, the other night you said it, at the Improv there was a cricket inside.

Joe Rogan 53:27 Oh yeah.

Andrew Santino 53:27 It was amplified, like you could-

Joe Rogan 53:29 Yeah.

Andrew Santino 53:29 ... you could hear it so loud.

Joe Rogan 53:30 It was so loud. And that was both shows.

Andrew Santino 53:33 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 53:33 Right?

Andrew Santino 53:34 Yes, it was insane.

Joe Rogan 53:34 Both shows Wednesday there was a cricket.

Andrew Santino 53:35 For the first show I didn't hear it 'cause Jesus was like... Jesus made a joke right away and he goes, "Man, you know it's bad when the crickets are louder than the laughs." And-

Joe Rogan 53:42 (laughs) He said it on stage?

Andrew Santino 53:43 Yeah. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 53:44 (laughs)

Andrew Santino 53:44 And then I was like... I didn't hear it. I went on stage, I couldn't really hear it, and then the second show i- it was so loud I could hear it.

Joe Rogan 53:50 So loud.

Andrew Santino 53:50 It must've been up in the roof in something.

Joe Rogan 53:52 No, it was over near the piano somewhere.

Andrew Santino 53:53 Oh. Oh, the piano.

Joe Rogan 53:54 It was over right underneath, the fucking... It was amplifying with the piano.

Andrew Santino 53:57 The piano. Joe, Joe is, loves the piano at the Hollywood Improv. That's his favorite item.

Joe Rogan 54:01 It's my favorite thing.

Andrew Santino 54:02 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 54:02 I love the fact that it takes up seats, I love the fact that it gets in the way of the people that are sitting over there, they don't have a good view of the show.

Andrew Santino 54:08 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 54:08 I love the fact that it's fucking useless and no one plays piano there. They say Craig Robinson uses it. Craig Robinson has his own fucking keyboard, he brings it ev-

Andrew Santino 54:15 Brings his keyboard.

Joe Rogan 54:16 Brings it everywhere he goes.

Andrew Santino 54:17 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 54:18 Whenever he does shows, it's not hard, puts it in his trunk.

Andrew Santino 54:20 Yep.

Joe Rogan 54:20 You know? Ain't that hard.

Andrew Santino 54:21 I see it.

Joe Rogan 54:21 Yeah.

Andrew Santino 54:22 They have one there for him too, by the way.

Joe Rogan 54:23 Oh yeah.

Andrew Santino 54:23 (laughs) They have a keyboard.

Joe Rogan 54:24 Oh yeah, roll that bitch out.

Andrew Santino 54:25 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 54:25 He don't need that stupid fucking piano.

Andrew Santino 54:27 So easy.

Joe Rogan 54:27 Now you know they have two stupid fucking pianos, they have one upstairs in the green room...

Andrew Santino 54:30 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 54:30 ... I'm like what are, what, what?What?

Andrew Santino 54:32 Bud ... you know Bud lo- ... Bud probably loved pianos. That's all I know.

Joe Rogan 54:35 Oh. Pianos and monocles. (laughs)

Andrew Santino 54:36 "I love pianos."

Joe Rogan 54:37 (laughs)

Andrew Santino 54:38 (laughs) He must have fucking loved it to buy two pianos. It is an old idea. Did the st- did the Store used to have-

Joe Rogan 54:44 Store used to have a piano-

Andrew Santino 54:45 ... have a piano, right?

Joe Rogan 54:46 ... right next to the stage.

Andrew Santino 54:46 In the main room.

Joe Rogan 54:47 Like, when you would stand by the stage, if Jeff Scott would play piano-

Andrew Santino 54:50 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 54:50 ... like he does in the main room.

Andrew Santino 54:51 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 54:52 Does he still play piano in the main room? Or in the OR rather? Because-

Andrew Santino 54:54 Keyboard in the OR.

Joe Rogan 54:55 Keyboard, still.

Andrew Santino 54:55 Yeah, he's got his keyboard over there. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 54:56 Yeah. Well, they use to p- have a piano-

Andrew Santino 54:58 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 54:58 ... in the main room.

Andrew Santino 55:00 Yeah. I do remember that.

Joe Rogan 55:01 So keyboard in the OR, piano in the m- ... Is that the only club that still has a professional keyboardist-

Andrew Santino 55:07 I've never ... When l-

Joe Rogan 55:07 ... that plays you up?

Andrew Santino 55:08 Well, uh, down in San Diego at The Comedy Store, um, that he ... he-

Joe Rogan 55:11 Another Comedy Store.

Andrew Santino 55:11 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 55:12 Yeah.

Andrew Santino 55:12 Yeah, he plays.

Joe Rogan 55:13 Yeah.

Andrew Santino 55:13 He plays down there too. Lou, Sweet Lou. He plays the, the ... He plays the keyboard down there.

Joe Rogan 55:17 Might be the most underrated room in the world.

Andrew Santino 55:19 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 55:20 The Comedy Store La Jolla.

Andrew Santino 55:20 La Jolla is fucking phenomenal.

Joe Rogan 55:21 Might be the most underrated.

Andrew Santino 55:23 It's phenom- ... It's phenomenal. It's, it's actually ... Uh, I've talked about this before. What it's ... That it's the perfect shape and size and number, 'cause it's a per- ... It's a nice box, it's low and quiet and black. The stage is not too high. It's great. It's like an ... It's like the OR in, in LA but it's on, it's on one. You know what I mean?

Joe Rogan 55:40 Some guys have, uh ... De Palo filmed or recorded one of his comedy specials there.

Andrew Santino 55:44 At the ... at To- La Jolla?

Joe Rogan 55:45 Yeah. A CD. Yeah. He recorded a CD there.

Andrew Santino 55:47 Uh.

Joe Rogan 55:47 It's a fucking great place to do standup.

Andrew Santino 55:49 It is. No, it's f- ... I mean, and it's, it's packed constantly, 'cause those people down there, they don't wanna make the drive to come up to fucking LA, and there's nothing around there club-wise.

Joe Rogan 55:58 Yeah. You get American Comedy Co. in San Diego. They can go there. But La Jolla is so beautiful.

Andrew Santino 56:03 La Jolla is beautiful, man.

Joe Rogan 56:03 If I lived in La Jolla, I wouldn't wanna go anywhere.

Andrew Santino 56:05 We said that we ... if we were gonna go down to San Diego, you'd move to La Jolla.

Joe Rogan 56:09 Oh, yes.

Andrew Santino 56:09 Yeah, it's fucking beautiful.

Joe Rogan 56:10 The fucking cliffs. You ever see the, the-

Andrew Santino 56:12 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 56:13 ... view off the cliffs there?

Andrew Santino 56:14 Yeah. Eat breakfast over there.

Joe Rogan 56:15 Ah. Stunning.

Andrew Santino 56:15 It's so nice, man.

Joe Rogan 56:16 It's stunning.

Andrew Santino 56:16 It's a great little pocket, you know?

Joe Rogan 56:18 And you can walk to Tijuana.

Andrew Santino 56:19 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 56:21 How crazy is that?

Andrew Santino 56:21 I don't wanna do that shit.

Joe Rogan 56:22 But how crazy is that?

Andrew Santino 56:23 What ... We, we were saying that in the car. We were like-

Joe Rogan 56:25 (laughs)

Andrew Santino 56:25 San Diego is this, like, beautiful, pristine city with a lot of money, you know. I w- ... I'll argue not a ton of culture, but, you know, that's okay.

Joe Rogan 56:32 How dare you?

Andrew Santino 56:33 Yeah. That's okay. I mean, you've seen some of the shit up fucking here.

Joe Rogan 56:35 How dare you?

Andrew Santino 56:35 Yeah, okay. And then you cross the fucking border and TJ is, like, donkeys, fucking women, marshmallow shows. (laughs) Fucking chicklets.

Joe Rogan 56:43 What's a marshmallow show? (laughs)

Andrew Santino 56:44 (laughs) You know, where they shoot marshmallows out of their pussy.

Joe Rogan 56:46 Do they really?

Andrew Santino 56:47 Yeah. You don't know about that?

Joe Rogan 56:47 What kind of force do you have to generate to get a marshmallow to fly in there?

Andrew Santino 56:50 Dude, you gotta have strong muscles. (popping sounds)

Joe Rogan 56:52 What does it sound like?

Andrew Santino 56:54 (popping sounds) (laughs)

Joe Rogan 56:57 (laughs) Ping pong balls.

Andrew Santino 57:00 Yeah, I've seen ping pongs.

Joe Rogan 57:01 But Stan- Stanhope told me a story about, uh, some lady in Thailand that could chew up bananas with her pussy and spit out chunks of it.

Andrew Santino 57:07 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 57:08 She'd take ... She'd take a banana, stuff it in her pussy and chop it up. (chewing sounds)

Andrew Santino 57:16 In my head, I just saw it has teeth, like it's like ... (biting sounds)

Joe Rogan 57:20 Well, she just had a fucking severe pinch.

Andrew Santino 57:23 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 57:25 Some girls have stronger pussies than other girls.

Andrew Santino 57:27 Fuck yeah.

Joe Rogan 57:28 That is just a fact. And I think some gals just let the pussy be what it is.

Andrew Santino 57:32 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 57:32 Get it in there. "Oh, we both feel good. It feels amazing."

Andrew Santino 57:34 We're good.

Joe Rogan 57:34 And some girls are, "No, no, no. You can put a little extra in there. Just put a little exercise."

Andrew Santino 57:38 Check this out.

Joe Rogan 57:40 Some girls just know how to squeeze it.

Andrew Santino 57:42 Genetics, or is there ... There's training too.

Joe Rogan 57:44 No. Kegels, man.

Andrew Santino 57:45 Kegels.

Joe Rogan 57:45 There's exercises.

Andrew Santino 57:45 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 57:46 But it's just the act of squeezing it. I think every girl can squeeze it. But the act of actively squee- ... It requires work. Right?

Andrew Santino 57:53 I know when you feel the squeeze, it's kinda ... it's awesome.

Joe Rogan 57:55 Well, it's also ... It feels great no matter what.

Andrew Santino 57:58 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 57:58 Right?

Andrew Santino 57:59 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 57:59 Vagina's a perfectly designed thing.

Andrew Santino 58:01 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 58:01 Out of all the things in nature to have sex with, vagina's number one. It's the best.

Andrew Santino 58:05 Let me, let me think for a second. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 58:07 I don't know. I haven't, I haven't really fucked with a lot of different things-

Andrew Santino 58:10 Yeah. No.

Joe Rogan 58:10 ... but a vagina is about as good as it gets. Like, nature's designed it so that you spooge really quickly so that you can make a baby while the lions are coming after you.

Andrew Santino 58:16 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 58:17 That's how it was invented.

Andrew Santino 58:18 Come and go. Come and go.

Joe Rogan 58:19 Yeah. 'Cause it's supposed to be like, "Aye, aye, tongue, run, f- fucking leopards."

Andrew Santino 58:23 That's how you know we're, we're getting lazier as a culture, 'cause we're trying to hold out as long as we can.

Joe Rogan 58:27 Yes. Yeah. Well, it's just weird, you know? We, we-

Andrew Santino 58:29 (laughs) Holy.

Joe Rogan 58:29 We're so safe. We're so safe, we're trying to, like ... We're trying to not come. How about those assholes that try to, like, come internally? You know, they do tantric, they-

Andrew Santino 58:36 Oh, s- the sting?

Joe Rogan 58:39 They don't ... Yeah. They don't come, they could just have sex for hours.

Andrew Santino 58:41 Tantric sex? Fuck that.

Joe Rogan 58:43 Ugh, ugh, and they come internally. Like, their body absorbs it.

Andrew Santino 58:48 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 58:48 And they don't shoot any loads.

Andrew Santino 58:49 How weird to not shoot a load. Actually, the first time I jerked off, I didn't shoot. It scared me.

Joe Rogan 58:53 What did you do?

Andrew Santino 58:54 I jerked off and I came and I think I stopped, and nothing came out, and it freaked me the fuck out.

Joe Rogan 58:58 Nothing came out?

Andrew Santino 58:59 No.

Joe Rogan 58:59 Well, how do you know you came?

Andrew Santino 59:00 'Cause I feel like I came.

Joe Rogan 59:02 But you were so young, you'd never come before.

Andrew Santino 59:04 I was 32.

Joe Rogan 59:06 (laughs)

Andrew Santino 59:07 (laughs) I don't re- ... I, no, I just remember the first time, and then I did it again later that night, and I did come. But I was scared. I don't know. I was freaked out.

Joe Rogan 59:15 You know what Eddie Bravo told me?

Andrew Santino 59:16 Huh?

Joe Rogan 59:16 He told me when he was young, he was dating this girl, and she was always worried that he was cheating on her. And so that when ... if, if he would come, she would get upset if it wasn't that much. She's like, "How come you didn't come that much?" He's like, "What?"

Andrew Santino 59:29 Measuring my load?

Joe Rogan 59:29 There wasn't, there wasn't that much come. "Did you fuck around?" And he was like, "What?" (laughs)

Andrew Santino 59:35 She kept thinking he was-

Joe Rogan 59:36 Like did you ...