Joe Rogan Experience #1378 - Greg Fitzsimmons

1. 0:00 – 15:00

   Three, two, one. Gregory!…

   1. JRJoe Rogan0:00

      Three, two, one. Gregory!

   2. GFGreg Fitzsimmons0:05

      Joseph!

   3. JRJoe Rogan0:06

      Sober October's over, but, uh, we could-- we were allowed to smoke cigars during Sober October for whatever reason. But they do get you high.

   4. GFGreg Fitzsimmons0:14

      They do give you a nice little buzz.

   5. JRJoe Rogan0:16

      They do.

   6. GFGreg Fitzsimmons0:16

      Yeah.

   7. JRJoe Rogan0:17

      It's- it's weird that that's, like, thought of as being a sobriety thing. Like that, you ain't sober.

   8. GFGreg Fitzsimmons0:22

      Is it really?

   9. JRJoe Rogan0:23

      I mean, if you're smoking. People smoke cigarettes when they're sober.

   10. GFGreg Fitzsimmons0:26

       Yeah.

   11. JRJoe Rogan0:27

       All those, um, fucking AA guys, remember, right? Those guys were always-- these guys were always-

   12. GFGreg Fitzsimmons0:33

       Those guys will tell you-

   13. JRJoe Rogan0:35

       ... smoking.

   14. GFGreg Fitzsimmons0:35

       ... you can't have a non-alcoholic beer, which I do. I have a non-alco- I even had a drink. It'll be 30 years next month that I haven't had a drink.

   15. JRJoe Rogan0:45

       Didn't you have like one or two when Meany died?

   16. GFGreg Fitzsimmons0:47

       When Meany died, I had some scotch.

   17. JRJoe Rogan0:50

       That's a weird one, right?

   18. GFGreg Fitzsimmons0:51

       I had like, I didn't get drunk, but I had like a few shots.

   19. JRJoe Rogan0:56

       Did you, like, feel weird about that? I mean, all those years.

   20. GFGreg Fitzsimmons1:01

       I think I felt so weird about him being dead that the whole thing felt surreal anyway. And, um, I haven't really, haven't had the desire- I can't say I had, can't have the desire. It's more of just, like, you- you- you feel like there's times where you wanna just do what everybody else is doing and just chill out. And you see everybody getting more mellow and relaxed and social.

   21. JRJoe Rogan1:25

       Right.

   22. GFGreg Fitzsimmons1:25

       And, uh, especially if I'm in a situation where , you know, it's a bunch of people I don't know that well, maybe it's your kids' friends' parent kinda situation.

   23. JRJoe Rogan1:35

       Mm-hmm. Nice glass of wine to take the edge off.

   24. GFGreg Fitzsimmons1:38

       (sighs) Dude.

   25. JRJoe Rogan1:38

       Dude. But you did the- the couple glasses of scotch and then you didn't go right back to it.

   26. GFGreg Fitzsimmons1:44

       Right.

   27. JRJoe Rogan1:44

       Like you became a 21-year-old drunk Greg again.

   28. GFGreg Fitzsimmons1:48

       Right. Well, a lot of it has to do with my father. And he was an alcoholic and I saw, I saw his depression. I have the same depression as he does and I felt, I felt like when I drank, it wasn't always for fun. It was a lot of times it was like dealing with feelings and bullshit like that.

   29. JRJoe Rogan2:11

       Oh.

   30. GFGreg Fitzsimmons2:12

       And so, I saw him as an unhappy guy who was unfulfilled in a lot of ways, and I saw the alcohol was a big part of why his life wasn't what it, what it could've been.
2. 15:00 – 30:00

   Yeah. …

   1. GFGreg Fitzsimmons15:00

      punted.

   2. JRJoe Rogan15:00

      Yeah.

   3. GFGreg Fitzsimmons15:00

      They didn't go for anything.

   4. JRJoe Rogan15:01

      Right. Yeah, the beautiful thing about Newsradio's last episode was we didn't know it was our last episode.

   5. GFGreg Fitzsimmons15:06

      Mm.

   6. JRJoe Rogan15:07

      It was the only time we ever thought we were gonna get picked up.

   7. GFGreg Fitzsimmons15:09

      No shit. And that was how many seasons?

   8. JRJoe Rogan15:11

      Five. The ratings were good.

   9. GFGreg Fitzsimmons15:13

      Yeah.

   10. JRJoe Rogan15:13

       The last season, we were like, "Eh, we did pretty good."

   11. GFGreg Fitzsimmons15:15

       Yeah.

   12. JRJoe Rogan15:16

       They're like, "Fuck it, it's over."

   13. GFGreg Fitzsimmons15:17

       Why?

   14. JRJoe Rogan15:18

       Uh, probably 'cause Phil was dead.

   15. GFGreg Fitzsimmons15:20

       Yeah.

   16. JRJoe Rogan15:21

       You know, and Lovitz came back, and, uh, Lovitz replaced Phil, but... (sighs)

   17. GFGreg Fitzsimmons15:24

       How many seasons was that, just one?

   18. JRJoe Rogan15:26

       Yes, the final season. (sighs) Yeah. Maybe, I mean, who knows? It was also, the problem with, um, the Newsradio was Newsradio was not owned by NBC.

   19. GFGreg Fitzsimmons15:37

       Oh, okay.

   20. JRJoe Rogan15:37

       So, it was one of those shows where the... We moved at least eight times during the five years that we were on the air.

   21. GFGreg Fitzsimmons15:44

       Your time slot?

   22. JRJoe Rogan15:44

       Yeah. Just always moving.

   23. GFGreg Fitzsimmons15:46

       Right.

   24. JRJoe Rogan15:46

       And this is before the internet, so you couldn't tell people. It's not like you could tweet, "Hey, Newsradio's gonna be on Monday at eight o'clock," but you don't give a fuck 'cause you have a DVR.

   25. GFGreg Fitzsimmons15:53

       Right.

   26. JRJoe Rogan15:53

       So, just DVR it.

   27. GFGreg Fitzsimmons15:54

       Right.

   28. JRJoe Rogan15:54

       No, it was... You, you found it when it was on-

   29. GFGreg Fitzsimmons15:57

       Yeah.

   30. JRJoe Rogan15:57

       ... if you were lucky. And s-... They didn't advertise that much. You know, it was like, "Newsradio, moving to Friday at 8:00." You know? It's like, it just would move around. We moved all over the fucking place.
3. 30:00 – 45:00

   Vitamin D's good, especially…

   1. GFGreg Fitzsimmons30:00

      sometimes I take, uh, vitamin D.

   2. JRJoe Rogan30:03

      Vitamin D's good, especially if you're a white fellow like yourself who doesn't get enough sun.

   3. GFGreg Fitzsimmons30:06

      If you're not getting enough sun, right.

   4. JRJoe Rogan30:07

      Yeah.

   5. GFGreg Fitzsimmons30:08

      Right. That's why I take it.

   6. JRJoe Rogan30:08

      That's real good.

   7. GFGreg Fitzsimmons30:09

      And, uh, that's it.

   8. JRJoe Rogan30:11

      Do you take D3?

   9. GFGreg Fitzsimmons30:12

      That's all I take.

   10. JRJoe Rogan30:13

       D3 is very good. Um, I take B12, I take D, I take, uh, I take multivitamins. I take what this called? It's a company called Pure, Pure Encapsulations and they have a, uh, an athlete Pure Pack. It's very nice 'cause it's real simple, little packet I take... not a sponsor. Um, take this packet, just bring 'em with me on the road, open it up and just take those. It's just... and then I also take, um-... there's a, there's a company called Athletic Greens, and, uh, they make a really good supplement that I pour into water. And it's very easy, and it's got a bunch of different shit, vitamins and minerals. That is a sponsor.

   11. GFGreg Fitzsimmons30:50

       Yeah.

   12. JRJoe Rogan30:50

       That's good. That's good too because it's, it's whole food based. It's not... There's nothing synthesized. It's all based on food.

   13. GFGreg Fitzsimmons30:56

       Mm-hmm.

   14. JRJoe Rogan30:57

       But I think you ha- you really should take something, you know? I mean, it's so hard to make sure that you're getting all the vitamins that you need from your food, especially when you go on the road.

   15. GFGreg Fitzsimmons31:09

       Yeah.

   16. JRJoe Rogan31:09

       On the road, it's... You know. Unless you know you're getting a- you're eating in a really good organic restaurant-

   17. GFGreg Fitzsimmons31:14

       Right.

   18. JRJoe Rogan31:14

       ... where you're getting high-quality vegetables, high-quality meat-

   19. GFGreg Fitzsimmons31:16

       Right.

   20. JRJoe Rogan31:17

       ... it's hard.

   21. GFGreg Fitzsimmons31:18

       Hotels have gotten a lot better, man. In our lifetime, hotel food used to be garbage.

   22. JRJoe Rogan31:23

       How about airport? Airport food?

   23. GFGreg Fitzsimmons31:24

       Airport food's gotten great.

   24. JRJoe Rogan31:25

       Way better.

   25. GFGreg Fitzsimmons31:26

       You got lemonades in the air.

   26. JRJoe Rogan31:27

       Yes. Yeah, you can get real food at the airport.

   27. GFGreg Fitzsimmons31:29

       Yeah.

   28. JRJoe Rogan31:29

       Yeah.

   29. GFGreg Fitzsimmons31:30

       Yeah.

   30. JRJoe Rogan31:30

       I'm, that's a, that's a big issue, man. It's a big issue for people that go on the road. 'Cause you know, you're on the road like three, four days in a row eating fucking Jack in the Box, you start feeling like shit.
4. 45:00 – 1:00:00

   Yeah, yeah. …

   1. JRJoe Rogan45:00

      termites in it?

   2. GFGreg Fitzsimmons45:00

      Yeah, yeah.

   3. JRJoe Rogan45:01

      Uh, can you sue?

   4. GFGreg Fitzsimmons45:02

      I probably... I'm not really a suer.

   5. JRJoe Rogan45:04

      What are you? Plot revenge?

   6. GFGreg Fitzsimmons45:06

      Just a, just a guy who gets sad-

   7. JRJoe Rogan45:08

      Silent, silent revenge.

   8. GFGreg Fitzsimmons45:08

      ... when things happen. (laughs)

   9. JRJoe Rogan45:09

      Don't say that.

   10. GFGreg Fitzsimmons45:10

       (laughs) I'm Irish.

   11. JRJoe Rogan45:11

       Silent, silent revenge.

   12. GFGreg Fitzsimmons45:12

       Yeah.

   13. JRJoe Rogan45:13

       Revenge.

   14. GFGreg Fitzsimmons45:14

       I'm an arsonist.

   15. JRJoe Rogan45:15

       Hmm.

   16. GFGreg Fitzsimmons45:15

       I find the next project-

   17. JRJoe Rogan45:16

       Whoa.

   18. GFGreg Fitzsimmons45:16

       ... he's gonna do, take it down.

   19. JRJoe Rogan45:18

       D- so they brought wood that had termites in it?

   20. GFGreg Fitzsimmons45:22

       Yeah.

   21. JRJoe Rogan45:23

       For sure?

   22. GFGreg Fitzsimmons45:24

       Well, the wood had fucking termites in it immediately.

   23. JRJoe Rogan45:26

       Did you contact the contractor?

   24. GFGreg Fitzsimmons45:29

       Uh, I don't even remember. This was, like, 15 years ago.

   25. JRJoe Rogan45:32

       Well, is the fence still there?

   26. GFGreg Fitzsimmons45:35

       Yeah, but it's like, I tried to screw something into it the other day-

   27. JRJoe Rogan45:37

       It fell apart?

   28. GFGreg Fitzsimmons45:38

       ... and it wouldn't, it wouldn't hold the fucking screw.

   29. JRJoe Rogan45:39

       (laughs)

   30. GFGreg Fitzsimmons45:39

       It was, like, powder underneath. The whole thing needs to be ripped down.
5. 1:00:00 – 1:12:36

   Yeah. …

   1. JRJoe Rogan1:00:00

      degree at a medical school, not chiropractors. They call themselves doctors-

   2. GFGreg Fitzsimmons1:00:05

      Yeah.

   3. JRJoe Rogan1:00:05

      ... but they don't go to medical school at all.

   4. GFGreg Fitzsimmons1:00:07

      Right, right.

   5. JRJoe Rogan1:00:08

      At all.

   6. GFGreg Fitzsimmons1:00:09

      And they can fuck you up.

   7. JRJoe Rogan1:00:10

      Oh!

   8. GFGreg Fitzsimmons1:00:10

      They do those cracks on your neck.

   9. JRJoe Rogan1:00:12

      Pull that up so we can read that.

   10. NANarrator1:00:13

       Oh, oh, shit.

   11. JRJoe Rogan1:00:16

       So, answer is, "Things can be absorbed through the membrane. Through membrane..." What? See, this is how-

   12. NANarrator1:00:23

       No, no, no, it's not really the answer I was just showing you. That's, people have asked this and-

   13. JRJoe Rogan1:00:26

       No, I'm- I'm saying, but listen to the way he writes the answer.

   14. NANarrator1:00:29

       Oh.

   15. JRJoe Rogan1:00:29

       This is how a chiropractor writes it versus a re- a real doctor. "Things that can be absorbed through membrane will bypass the liver when taken through the anus." When taken through the anus. Through membrane will bypass the liver. (clears throat) Through a membrane? Okay, "For example, various drugs can be taken as through the anus in order to be easier on the liver." See, this is how chiropractors write.

   16. GFGreg Fitzsimmons1:00:54

       Yeah.

   17. JRJoe Rogan1:00:54

       See? See how he's writing? This is not a guy who went to medical school.

   18. GFGreg Fitzsimmons1:00:57

       No.

   19. JRJoe Rogan1:00:57

       "As the liver no longer needs to filter the drug, which makes the drug half as potent, and is also hard on the liver."

   20. GFGreg Fitzsimmons1:01:06

       This guy's Asian.

   21. JRJoe Rogan1:01:08

       How do you know that?

   22. GFGreg Fitzsimmons1:01:08

       What's his name?

   23. JRJoe Rogan1:01:09

       Andrew Lee.

   24. GFGreg Fitzsimmons1:01:10

       Yeah.

   25. JRJoe Rogan1:01:10

       (sighs)

   26. GFGreg Fitzsimmons1:01:11

       I- I did not know his name when I said he's Asian.

   27. JRJoe Rogan1:01:13

       You didn't know. You didn't know.

   28. GFGreg Fitzsimmons1:01:14

       I could tell by the way he was writing.

   29. JRJoe Rogan1:01:15

       Alcohol can cross the cell membrane and thus absorbs very easily into the human body. Oh, how about this? My friend, his wife is a school teacher in Utah and, uh, they have a problem in middle school 'cause kids are taking tampons and they're soaking them in rubbing alcohol and stuffing them up their assholes and they're getting high.

   30. GFGreg Fitzsimmons1:01:39

       Really?

Episode duration: 2:37:48