Joe Rogan Experience #1378 - Greg Fitzsimmons

Joe Rogan 0:00 Three, two, one. Gregory!

Greg Fitzsimmons 0:05 Joseph!

Joe Rogan 0:06 Sober October's over, but, uh, we could-- we were allowed to smoke cigars during Sober October for whatever reason. But they do get you high.

Greg Fitzsimmons 0:14 They do give you a nice little buzz.

Joe Rogan 0:16 They do.

Greg Fitzsimmons 0:16 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 0:17 It's- it's weird that that's, like, thought of as being a sobriety thing. Like that, you ain't sober.

Greg Fitzsimmons 0:22 Is it really?

Joe Rogan 0:23 I mean, if you're smoking. People smoke cigarettes when they're sober.

Greg Fitzsimmons 0:26 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 0:27 All those, um, fucking AA guys, remember, right? Those guys were always-- these guys were always-

Greg Fitzsimmons 0:33 Those guys will tell you-

Joe Rogan 0:35 ... smoking.

Greg Fitzsimmons 0:35 ... you can't have a non-alcoholic beer, which I do. I have a non-alco- I even had a drink. It'll be 30 years next month that I haven't had a drink.

Joe Rogan 0:45 Didn't you have like one or two when Meany died?

Greg Fitzsimmons 0:47 When Meany died, I had some scotch.

Joe Rogan 0:50 That's a weird one, right?

Greg Fitzsimmons 0:51 I had like, I didn't get drunk, but I had like a few shots.

Joe Rogan 0:56 Did you, like, feel weird about that? I mean, all those years.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:01 I think I felt so weird about him being dead that the whole thing felt surreal anyway. And, um, I haven't really, haven't had the desire- I can't say I had, can't have the desire. It's more of just, like, you- you- you feel like there's times where you wanna just do what everybody else is doing and just chill out. And you see everybody getting more mellow and relaxed and social.

Joe Rogan 1:25 Right.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:25 And, uh, especially if I'm in a situation where , you know, it's a bunch of people I don't know that well, maybe it's your kids' friends' parent kinda situation.

Joe Rogan 1:35 Mm-hmm. Nice glass of wine to take the edge off.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:38 (sighs) Dude.

Joe Rogan 1:38 Dude. But you did the- the couple glasses of scotch and then you didn't go right back to it.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:44 Right.

Joe Rogan 1:44 Like you became a 21-year-old drunk Greg again.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:48 Right. Well, a lot of it has to do with my father. And he was an alcoholic and I saw, I saw his depression. I have the same depression as he does and I felt, I felt like when I drank, it wasn't always for fun. It was a lot of times it was like dealing with feelings and bullshit like that.

Joe Rogan 2:11 Oh.

Greg Fitzsimmons 2:12 And so, I saw him as an unhappy guy who was unfulfilled in a lot of ways, and I saw the alcohol was a big part of why his life wasn't what it, what it could've been.

Joe Rogan 2:21 Right, right.

Greg Fitzsimmons 2:21 And I just sort of feel like, you know, maybe- maybe I could drink but maybe I can't. Why fuck with it?

Joe Rogan 2:29 No, why fuck with it? I tell you what, man. I just got done with a whole month of being sober, and then I had my first drinks this weekend. I felt like shit.

Greg Fitzsimmons 2:39 No kidding.

Joe Rogan 2:40 Felt like shit.

Greg Fitzsimmons 2:41 Really?

Joe Rogan 2:41 Yeah, I had a couple of glasses of wine, went to play pool and, uh, I was having a hard time focusing on the ball. I was, like, looking at the ball, I was like, "Ball? Three glasses of wine?"

Greg Fitzsimmons 2:50 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 2:50 "That's all it takes? Three glasses of wine, I'm having a hard time seeing."

Greg Fitzsimmons 2:54 Right.

Joe Rogan 2:54 It took like, 'cause everything's like, oh, just a little off.

Greg Fitzsimmons 2:57 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 2:57 It took, like, uh, an hour for my liver processed it enough where I could play pool well again.

Greg Fitzsimmons 3:03 Do you think you just lost your, um, your, uh-

Joe Rogan 3:08 Tolerance?

Greg Fitzsimmons 3:08 ... tolerance?

Joe Rogan 3:09 Yeah, for sure. Yeah. I mean, I never, I've never been a big drinker anyway. But it was interesting doing sets. That's what's always interesting. 'Cause I like a shot before I go on stage. I always like to do a shot of Jack-

Greg Fitzsimmons 3:20 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 3:20 ... before I go on stage, just whoa.

Greg Fitzsimmons 3:22 That's the standard for you?

Joe Rogan 3:23 Just a little bit of whiskey. Yeah, a little bit of whiskey-

Greg Fitzsimmons 3:24 Wow.

Joe Rogan 3:25 ... before a big show, just one shot.

Greg Fitzsimmons 3:26 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 3:26 Bang!

Greg Fitzsimmons 3:27 Yeah. Brian Regan, one shot of- of, uh, frozen peppermint schnapps-

Joe Rogan 3:30 Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 3:30 ... before he goes out.

Joe Rogan 3:31 Yeah, because-

Greg Fitzsimmons 3:32 Or a peach schnapps.

Joe Rogan 3:32 It gives you, like, this fucking yeah!

Greg Fitzsimmons 3:35 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 3:36 But it's not necessary.

Greg Fitzsimmons 3:38 No.

Joe Rogan 3:38 You know? It's definitely not. I mean, I did a lot of shows this month stone cold sober. But it's, um...

Greg Fitzsimmons 3:45 Isn't it weird though, the human condition, that we're born with this set of, you know, this brain and this- these neurological pathways and this relationship to the universe and the people around us. And that we want to, whether it's smoking pot or drinking or taking opiates, we wanna change the natural state of our brain?

Joe Rogan 4:06 Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 4:07 Isn't that fucking weird?

Joe Rogan 4:09 It's very weird.

Greg Fitzsimmons 4:10 Because it- because it's all we talk about. All people talk about, "Dude, what'd you do last week?" "Oh, dude, we got fucked up."

Joe Rogan 4:15 (laughs)

Greg Fitzsimmons 4:15 "I changed my brain. I made myself dumber."

Joe Rogan 4:18 Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 4:18 "All weekend I made myself dumber."

Joe Rogan 4:19 "Did a bunch of stupid shit I should've never done."

Greg Fitzsimmons 4:22 (laughs) "And I did stupid shit."

Joe Rogan 4:24 Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 4:24 Because in our natural state, we don't do goofy shit enough.

Joe Rogan 4:29 Right.

Greg Fitzsimmons 4:30 But then I learned when I quit drinking that I could be just as crazy. People didn't realize I quit. I'd be hanging out with my same friends in the same bars 'til 4:00 in the morning. We'd go to a wedding, I'd be the last guy on the dance floor, first guy on the dance floor, and I just was like, "You know, this doesn't have to change me." You know?

Joe Rogan 4:46 Yeah. You can just enjoy fun.

Greg Fitzsimmons 4:48 You just enjoy fun.

Joe Rogan 4:49 Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 4:50 It takes a little bit more of, um, I think you have to sort of break through walls a little bit more as opposed to just the booze does that for you.

Joe Rogan 5:00 Yeah, that-

Greg Fitzsimmons 5:00 But you can still get there.

Joe Rogan 5:02 That's a good way of looking at it. The one- one thing that I found that affects my writing, marijuana's like steroids for writing. Oh my goodness.

Greg Fitzsimmons 5:10 Really? For you.

Joe Rogan 5:11 Oh my- oh my goodness.

Greg Fitzsimmons 5:12 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 5:13 Yeah! Just dude, this weekend, soon as I started getting high again, I'm- I've fucking, my notebook's full.

Greg Fitzsimmons 5:18 No shit!

Joe Rogan 5:19 All these crazy ideas. Yeah, man. Half of them are dog shit for sure.

Greg Fitzsimmons 5:22 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 5:23 Half of them, at least half of them are dog shit.

Greg Fitzsimmons 5:24 Half would be you're doing pretty well.

Joe Rogan 5:26 Yeah. It's pretty good, right?

Greg Fitzsimmons 5:27 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 5:27 But I got a few that I'm like, "Ooh, there's something in this. There's something in this one. Definitely something in this one." They-

Greg Fitzsimmons 5:32 So does it, like, after the show you get high and then you write or you w- or you do it during the day?

Joe Rogan 5:37 Well, I didn't do any shows this weekend 'cause I was in New York for the UFC and, uh, I had some, uh, friends that I was gonna s- see while I was down there, my friend Tommy. So I was playing pool with him.

Greg Fitzsimmons 5:46 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 5:47 And, uh, Hinchcliff came with me too, he plays pool too. But I just decided not to do comedy this weekend. I'm like, "I'm here for the UFC." I only get a chance to see Tommy, uh, he's like one of my good friends from fucking 20...... five years ago? More? 28 years ago, maybe?

Greg Fitzsimmons 6:06 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 6:06 I might know him for almost 30 years.

Greg Fitzsimmons 6:08 Wow.

Joe Rogan 6:08 I've known him for fucking ever, you know? We've become old men together.

Greg Fitzsimmons 6:11 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 6:11 But, uh, you know, we'd get together and play pool until, like, two o'clock in the morning. I haven't had a chance to do that forever.

Greg Fitzsimmons 6:17 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 6:17 And I only really get a chance to do it once a year when I see him.

Greg Fitzsimmons 6:19 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 6:20 So I decided not to do any shows. But, uh, just while we were playing, I was just getting all these ideas. Generally, I like writing at night when everyone's asleep. That's my favorite time to write. I like to come home from the store and I sit around with the laptop and I just start writing.

Greg Fitzsimmons 6:37 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 6:37 Just force myself to just write for an hour or so.

Greg Fitzsimmons 6:40 Hmm.

Joe Rogan 6:41 Just- just- just write.

Greg Fitzsimmons 6:42 Just freeform, just get it all down.

Joe Rogan 6:44 Yeah, yeah, yeah, have a subject to start. I don't try to write, like, in joke form. I try to write, like, essays-

Greg Fitzsimmons 6:49 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 6:49 ... and then I try to extract ideas out of those and then turn those into material.

Greg Fitzsimmons 6:54 Yeah. Yeah, that's the way to do it. It's like-

Joe Rogan 6:57 Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 6:57 It's like, uh, I used to do this thing called the writer's way, which is this, uh, it's a great- great way to, if you're try... It's not just for writing, but just to get your creativity flowing. And one of the things you do is you get out of bed in the morning and you don't have your coffee, you just take a piss. You don't have to take a piss. You can shit. Like, if you wanna shit, you can shit.

Joe Rogan 7:17 You're allowed to?

Greg Fitzsimmons 7:18 You're allowed to shit.

Joe Rogan 7:18 Okay.

Greg Fitzsimmons 7:19 As a matter of fact, I think that probably helps a lot. N-

Joe Rogan 7:21 Oh, yeah, you don't want the-

Greg Fitzsimmons 7:22 W-

Joe Rogan 7:22 ... shit inside of you like (grunts) when you're trying to write.

Greg Fitzsimmons 7:25 Al- Also, what better feeling than your anus, like, re-puckered after delivering, like, that-

Joe Rogan 7:31 Ah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 7:32 It's... (laughs)

Joe Rogan 7:33 Just a giant... just a- a dump of lumber.

Greg Fitzsimmons 7:37 Just a little halo over the log, floating in the water.

Joe Rogan 7:41 Yeah. Meat.

Greg Fitzsimmons 7:42 And then you sit down and you write for th- You write three pages nonstop.

Joe Rogan 7:46 Hmm.

Greg Fitzsimmons 7:46 You don't let the pen stop. And then-

Joe Rogan 7:48 Hmm.

Greg Fitzsimmons 7:48 ... you go about your day. And you get out... It's amazing what your subconscious will get out when you just keep the pen flowing. And like you said, a lot of it's garbage, but within it, there's gonna be a couple kernels that are good.

Joe Rogan 7:59 Yeah, that's how creativity works with me. I mean, I'm not, uh, I'm not a consistent hitter. I'm not a .500 hitter, in terms of creativity. So-

Greg Fitzsimmons 8:07 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 8:08 ... if I get half, half is amazing.

Greg Fitzsimmons 8:10 Half would be amazing.

Joe Rogan 8:11 .500 is amazing.

Greg Fitzsimmons 8:12 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 8:13 You know, most of it's garbage (laughs) .

Greg Fitzsimmons 8:15 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 8:16 Sometimes I go back and just, like, just it gets frustrating reading some of the shit I wrote.

Greg Fitzsimmons 8:21 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 8:21 Like, what are you... What the fuck are you... But I know what I'm doing. Like, when I'm writing, I'm just trying to see if I could dig something out.

Greg Fitzsimmons 8:29 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 8:29 You know, I'm just, like I'm out there with a metal detector (imitates metal detector) .

Greg Fitzsimmons 8:32 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 8:32 (imitates metal detector) You know?

Greg Fitzsimmons 8:35 Right.

Joe Rogan 8:35 Some guy just found some fucking incredible, uh, ancient treasure using a metal detector.

Greg Fitzsimmons 8:44 Really?

Joe Rogan 8:44 Yeah. See if you can, j- find, see if you can find that, Jamie. See if you can...

Greg Fitzsimmons 8:47 On a beach?

Joe Rogan 8:48 Yeah, yeah, yeah. I wanna say, oh fuck, what era was it from?

Narrator 8:54 Oh, shit. That's like a-

Joe Rogan 8:55 No, no, that was a different one. That was a- that was a guy-

Narrator 8:57 Oh, okay.

Greg Fitzsimmons 8:57 Oh, fuck.

Joe Rogan 8:57 Yeah, that was a crazy one, too. A guy found a fucking shipwreck that was on the beach that was exposed by a crazy storm. Like, a storm came along and it pulled away so much of the sand that a fucking shipwreck was there.

Greg Fitzsimmons 9:09 Damn.

Joe Rogan 9:10 And so this guy's there walking his dog and he's like, "Um, what-"

Greg Fitzsimmons 9:13 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 9:13 "... the fuck is this? This is a boat."

Greg Fitzsimmons 9:16 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 9:17 Yeah. That's crazy. Oh, here it is. It's, uh, what is that, three million pounds?

Narrator 9:22 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 9:22 Is that pounds?

Narrator 9:22 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 9:24 Um, war hoard of 6,000 gold artifacts from 650 AD uncovered in Staffordshire field using, uh, a two dollar metal d- uh, two-pound metal detector. A metal detector for two dollars.

Greg Fitzsimmons 9:38 Wow.

Joe Rogan 9:39 Is that pounds or euros? What is that one?

Narrator 9:41 Uh, it's pounds, yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 9:41 I think that's British pounds.

Joe Rogan 9:43 So from 650 AD, so 650 years after Jesus' murdered.

Greg Fitzsimmons 9:48 Shit.

Joe Rogan 9:49 Look at that shit. Look how gorgeous that is. It's still got the fur on the top. We're looking at a gold helmet, this really intricate, carved gold helmet with a- a fucking, like a Mohawk, a fur Mohawk. That's amazing.

Greg Fitzsimmons 10:02 And look at the detail. It wasn't corroded at all in that salt water all those years.

Joe Rogan 10:06 Yeah, that's pretty amazing. Where is Staffordshire? Was it in, it said it was in a field.

Greg Fitzsimmons 10:11 Hmm.

Joe Rogan 10:12 Right?

Narrator 10:12 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 10:13 This wasn't, so this wasn't salt water. Oh my God, look how beautiful that shit is. That's amazing. A scabbard boss. Um, I don't even know, uh, what a boss i- What is a boss? A scabbard boss? What does that mean? Which is part of an Anglo-Saxon hoard found by Terry Herbert. Terry's balling right now.

Greg Fitzsimmons 10:32 Yeah, Te-

Joe Rogan 10:32 How about Terry?

Greg Fitzsimmons 10:33 What did Terry do? Did he sell it? I mean, do you keep some- You gotta keep some of it.

Joe Rogan 10:37 Are you allow- What happens there? It sold to museums-

Greg Fitzsimmons 10:40 Oh, that's-

Joe Rogan 10:40 ... for 3.285 million-

Greg Fitzsimmons 10:42 Ah.

Joe Rogan 10:42 ... with the funds were split between them. He used a metal detector, oh, in the field of, uh, farmer Fred Johnson. Oh, so they split it.

Greg Fitzsimmons 10:50 Him and Fred split it up.

Joe Rogan 10:53 So they both got a million and a half. Not bad.

Greg Fitzsimmons 10:55 Not bad.

Joe Rogan 10:55 What is pounds to dollars? It's not the same, right?

Greg Fitzsimmons 10:58 I think it's like a buck 20.

Joe Rogan 11:00 So he's super balling.

Greg Fitzsimmons 11:01 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 11:02 80% of the items identified were fittings from weapons, mostly swords, and researchers believe it's remarkable so many were made of, from gold. Wow.

Greg Fitzsimmons 11:10 Shit.

Joe Rogan 11:11 Nine pounds of gold. Included were 50 incredible rare gold sword pommels as well as parts of a golden helmet. Fucking A, man. The Golden Age is the period of Anglo-Saxon England. Literally. This was a period when gold was suddenly much more available and was converted into beautiful objects for the warrior elite. I wonder why it was more available. Like, what- what makes gold more available? Did they figure out how to pull it out of the ground or something?

Greg Fitzsimmons 11:40 They hadn't started grabbing it from other countries yet. I guess that was their own local gold.

Joe Rogan 11:46 Look at this inc- in, the quotation. On i- Look at this, "The collection includes, it's believed, a battle shrine with a processional..." I don- I don't know what that word means, "...processional cross, suggesting Christian emblems were used as good luck charms for battle. On it is a quotation from the Book of Number, which reads, 'Rise up, Lord, and let thine enemies be scattered. And let them that hate thee flee before thee.'"... boy.

Greg Fitzsimmons 12:12 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 12:13 Wouldn't, wouldn't you love to hear people talk back then?

Greg Fitzsimmons 12:14 Yeah, right.

Joe Rogan 12:15 Like, it probably was so confusing. Like, Game of Thrones, they talk like us, but they didn't talk like us.

Greg Fitzsimmons 12:21 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 12:21 They had some weird lingo back... Well, Game of Thrones is obviously fake.

Greg Fitzsimmons 12:25 Right.

Joe Rogan 12:25 But it was supposed to be a long time ago, right?

Greg Fitzsimmons 12:27 Yeah, and I'm sure they researched... I mean, everything about that show was so authentic. I'm sure they went back and tried to find the way people spoke at that time-

Joe Rogan 12:34 Well, not really though-

Greg Fitzsimmons 12:34 ... and replicate it.

Joe Rogan 12:35 ... 'cause it's not really about a time. It's about a fantasy land.

Greg Fitzsimmons 12:38 Well, it was... I think it was the War of the Roses, it was based on, which was, I think, around the first century, wasn't it? It was-

Joe Rogan 12:46 Yeah, but they got fucking d- Dark Knights and... Or l-

Greg Fitzsimmons 12:49 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 12:49 White Knights or whatever.

Greg Fitzsimmons 12:50 Oh, yeah, no, they mixed a lot of it together.

Joe Rogan 12:52 Night King. (laughs)

Greg Fitzsimmons 12:52 But I think there was a point where the, uh, where the, the, the British Empire was divided into, whatever it was, five or six different kingdoms-

Joe Rogan 13:00 Oh, that's what they based it on?

Greg Fitzsimmons 13:01 ... yeah, that were all fighting for the, uh, throne.

Joe Rogan 13:04 Apparently n- they're gonna do a prequel now.

Greg Fitzsimmons 13:06 Oh.

Joe Rogan 13:06 Like, those guys, they were not gonna do it. They were gonna cancel it, but they're gonna do it now.

Narrator 13:10 I think it's, uh... I heard it got canceled.

Greg Fitzsimmons 13:12 Yeah, I heard it got canceled.

Joe Rogan 13:12 Did it get canceled?

Greg Fitzsimmons 13:13 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 13:13 But there was just something a couple of days ago that said they're, they're doing a preview, hundreds of years before, that's about the Targaryens.

Greg Fitzsimmons 13:24 That's awesome.

Joe Rogan 13:25 Fuck, yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 13:26 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 13:26 Get back after it, you fucks. Come on.

Greg Fitzsimmons 13:29 Anything. Give me anything.

Joe Rogan 13:30 L- list- the thing about that show is they kill everybody, so they could always have new people.

Greg Fitzsimmons 13:35 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 13:35 They fucking kill everybody.

Greg Fitzsimmons 13:36 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 13:36 Remember the Red Wedding? Holy shit.

Greg Fitzsimmons 13:38 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 13:39 Here to go. HBO finally issued a statement on the canceled. It's canceled.

Narrator 13:43 Mm.

Joe Rogan 13:44 Thumbs down.

Narrator 13:45 Bad news. It's over.

Greg Fitzsimmons 13:47 Mm.

Joe Rogan 13:47 What?

Narrator 13:47 Yeah. Sorry.

Joe Rogan 13:49 What? What did they say? What's their statement?

Greg Fitzsimmons 13:51 They're bringing back Arliss, so they need space.

Joe Rogan 13:54 (laughs)

Narrator 13:54 (laughs)

Greg Fitzsimmons 13:54 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 13:55 Ah. That's why he won an Emmy, ladies and gentlemen.

Greg Fitzsimmons 13:58 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 13:58 That's writing. What is the, uh, statement?

Narrator 14:01 I don't know.

Joe Rogan 14:01 Do they have a... Is this a good, a good excuse? What could their good excuse be?

Narrator 14:05 No, it doesn't say.

Joe Rogan 14:05 We suck and we hate money.

Narrator 14:06 It just says they decided not to move forward with the series.

Joe Rogan 14:08 Fuck outta here.

Greg Fitzsimmons 14:09 Well, part of the problem is that, uh, who's the guy that, that wrote all the, um... that wrote the books that it was based on, and he wrote the first...

Narrator 14:17 Mm. George Martin?

Greg Fitzsimmons 14:18 George Martin wrote all of them until they got to the last season, or the last two seasons, and then he ran out of steam, and that's why they weren't as good. People said that last season wasn't as good as the rest 'cause it was the, the two showrunners that had, that had...

Joe Rogan 14:30 I thought the last season was excellent up until the last episode. Last episode was kinda like, "How do we end this?"

Greg Fitzsimmons 14:37 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 14:37 "Let's make the guy in the wheelchair q- uh, king."

Greg Fitzsimmons 14:39 Right.

Joe Rogan 14:39 "Let's make him gay too."

Greg Fitzsimmons 14:41 Yeah, they-

Joe Rogan 14:41 Like, l- like, it's...

Narrator 14:43 (laughs)

Greg Fitzsimmons 14:43 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 14:43 It's just... Come on, man.

Greg Fitzsimmons 14:45 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 14:47 You know?

Greg Fitzsimmons 14:48 Yeah, they didn't, uh, they didn't... You know, when you think about the last episode of any show is gonna get a lot of... Do you remember how much shit Seinfeld got for the last episode?

Joe Rogan 14:55 Yes. Yes.

Greg Fitzsimmons 14:56 'Cause they didn't do anything, and Game of Thrones-

Joe Rogan 14:58 Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 14:58 ... did the same thing. They f- they punted.

Joe Rogan 15:00 Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 15:00 They didn't go for anything.

Joe Rogan 15:01 Right. Yeah, the beautiful thing about Newsradio's last episode was we didn't know it was our last episode.

Greg Fitzsimmons 15:06 Mm.

Joe Rogan 15:07 It was the only time we ever thought we were gonna get picked up.

Greg Fitzsimmons 15:09 No shit. And that was how many seasons?

Joe Rogan 15:11 Five. The ratings were good.

Greg Fitzsimmons 15:13 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 15:13 The last season, we were like, "Eh, we did pretty good."

Greg Fitzsimmons 15:15 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 15:16 They're like, "Fuck it, it's over."

Greg Fitzsimmons 15:17 Why?

Joe Rogan 15:18 Uh, probably 'cause Phil was dead.

Greg Fitzsimmons 15:20 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 15:21 You know, and Lovitz came back, and, uh, Lovitz replaced Phil, but... (sighs)

Greg Fitzsimmons 15:24 How many seasons was that, just one?

Joe Rogan 15:26 Yes, the final season. (sighs) Yeah. Maybe, I mean, who knows? It was also, the problem with, um, the Newsradio was Newsradio was not owned by NBC.

Greg Fitzsimmons 15:37 Oh, okay.

Joe Rogan 15:37 So, it was one of those shows where the... We moved at least eight times during the five years that we were on the air.

Greg Fitzsimmons 15:44 Your time slot?

Joe Rogan 15:44 Yeah. Just always moving.

Greg Fitzsimmons 15:46 Right.

Joe Rogan 15:46 And this is before the internet, so you couldn't tell people. It's not like you could tweet, "Hey, Newsradio's gonna be on Monday at eight o'clock," but you don't give a fuck 'cause you have a DVR.

Greg Fitzsimmons 15:53 Right.

Joe Rogan 15:53 So, just DVR it.

Greg Fitzsimmons 15:54 Right.

Joe Rogan 15:54 No, it was... You, you found it when it was on-

Greg Fitzsimmons 15:57 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 15:57 ... if you were lucky. And s-... They didn't advertise that much. You know, it was like, "Newsradio, moving to Friday at 8:00." You know? It's like, it just would move around. We moved all over the fucking place.

Greg Fitzsimmons 16:06 What was it on? N- NBC?

Joe Rogan 16:07 NBC, yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 16:08 Did you ever have a good lead-in?

Joe Rogan 16:10 Sometimes. One time, we were on the Thursday night, which was the big night-

Greg Fitzsimmons 16:15 Oh.

Joe Rogan 16:15 ... with Seinfeld and friends, and we crushed it.

Greg Fitzsimmons 16:17 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 16:17 Yeah, we were, like, number two in the world.

Greg Fitzsimmons 16:19 Is that how they launched you, or that was after-

Joe Rogan 16:20 No, no, no. I don't remember how we la- they launched. I don't remember. But it was... I remember one time, we were on Thursday, and everybody was so excited.

Greg Fitzsimmons 16:27 Hm.

Joe Rogan 16:27 "Hey, we'll be on Thursday. We'll be right after Caroline in the Shitty."

Greg Fitzsimmons 16:30 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 16:30 That's what we used to call it. You remember Caroline in the Shitty?

Greg Fitzsimmons 16:32 (laughs) Yeah, yeah. Right.

Joe Rogan 16:33 There was a few of those shows, like the single guy. Like, "What is this?" And he would watch it-

Greg Fitzsimmons 16:37 They stayed on forever.

Joe Rogan 16:38 Because they were owned by someone-

Greg Fitzsimmons 16:41 NBC Productions.

Joe Rogan 16:41 ... either NBC or someone who had a deal with NBC-

Greg Fitzsimmons 16:43 Right.

Joe Rogan 16:43 ... Warner Bros. or whoever it was, you know. That's the weird thing about, like, television shows. You can last forever if you have a good lead-in and there's someone good after you, 'cause people just slack jaw it and keep that TV on. Ah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 16:58 Yeah. Right.

Joe Rogan 17:00 That's how it used to be, at least. Now, I think that model's kinda out the window.

Greg Fitzsimmons 17:04 No, now they take that, that sweet spot after their number one show, and they try to launch something. They'll put something they like in there-

Joe Rogan 17:10 Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 17:10 ... to give it legs.

Joe Rogan 17:11 Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 17:11 And once it's good, they try to create that and want that to be the lead-in for another show.

Joe Rogan 17:16 Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 17:16 It's like, it's fuck- it's like baseball.

Joe Rogan 17:18 Right.

Greg Fitzsimmons 17:18 Managing baseball.

Joe Rogan 17:19 Right. But who the fuck... I mean, like, who's watching TV with commercials now? Like, who's sitting there and actually watching TV with commercials? Like, how much time do you have, and do you not know that there are so many shows that you could watch that don't have commercials?

Greg Fitzsimmons 17:33 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 17:33 And you could just watch those and record that one and then come back and watch it when it doesn't have commercials or fast-forward through the commercials?

Greg Fitzsimmons 17:40 Yeah. Or just get Hulu.

Joe Rogan 17:41 Yeah, like-

Greg Fitzsimmons 17:42 Pay $10 a month and watch the history of television from be-... Pilots. I go back and watch pilots on Hulu. That's the-

Joe Rogan 17:49 Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 17:49 ... fucking greatest. Dude, the Taxi pilot I just watched recently.

Joe Rogan 17:53 Taxi. I forgot about Taxi.

Greg Fitzsimmons 17:54 The Taxi pilot was so fucking heartwarming. It was-

Joe Rogan 18:00 Really?

Greg Fitzsimmons 18:00 Oh my God. It was about... Alex Crea ger had a daughter that he hadn't seen. He was estranged from him, and he was basically like a deadbeat dad, and it was about him reconnecting with her. And the second half of the episode was all of them in a fucking New York taxi driving down to Florida so he could meet his daughter.

Joe Rogan 18:19 Whoa.

Greg Fitzsimmons 18:19 Nowadays, it has to be like, all right, what's the simplest, most basic storyline that lets you, you gotta get to know each character, each relationship, two great, two or three great act breaks. There's so much criteria that go into the structure of it, there's no room for anything interesting to happen. Right?

Joe Rogan 18:36 Where's the diversity? Where's the diversity? Do you have diversity? Where's the inclusiveness?

Greg Fitzsimmons 18:40 Right.

Joe Rogan 18:40 Inclusivity-

Greg Fitzsimmons 18:41 What is the message?

Joe Rogan 18:42 ... and diversity.

Narrator 18:42 What's the heart?

Joe Rogan 18:43 What's the message? Yes.

Greg Fitzsimmons 18:43 Yeah. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 18:45 Yeah. Yeah, you can't just make a whack... Well, I mean, you kinda can. Curb Your Enthusiasm is still that, it's just-

Greg Fitzsimmons 18:50 HBO.

Joe Rogan 18:50 Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 18:51 Yeah. But the networks haven't done much. Well, the networks did cool stuff with like, The Office. 30 Rock was kinda interesting.

Joe Rogan 18:57 Well, the dumbest thing in the networks for sure are the presidential debates. The fact that they, they take these people that are running for the most important job in the fucking known universe and they... Is, we're out of time. Thank you. Thank you, Mr. Senator.

Greg Fitzsimmons 19:10 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 19:10 Thank you, Mr. Senator. We're out of time.

Greg Fitzsimmons 19:12 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 19:12 Thank you, Ms. Congresswoman. Thank you.

Greg Fitzsimmons 19:14 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 19:14 Thank you, Mrs. Congresswoman, you're out of time.

Greg Fitzsimmons 19:16 Right. Right.

Joe Rogan 19:17 You have eh, eh, 80 seconds to just fucking spill out as many words and get your point across and try to go viral.

Greg Fitzsimmons 19:23 Yeah. Then, and the worst part is, then you got like, the uh, the, the also rans that are like, on the edge of the, the, the, they got the last podium on the left.

Joe Rogan 19:31 Mm-hmm.

Greg Fitzsimmons 19:31 The guy's like, the mayor of Dayton.

Joe Rogan 19:33 Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 19:33 And he's trying to get headlines by taking a shot at the real candidates.

Joe Rogan 19:36 Yes. Yes.

Greg Fitzsimmons 19:37 Which just hurts the Democratic Party.

Joe Rogan 19:39 Yep.

Greg Fitzsimmons 19:39 You know?

Joe Rogan 19:40 Sure. Sure.

Greg Fitzsimmons 19:40 It just makes the main guy look bad because he's... So, uh, they gotta, they gotta window down the field. And I think couple of people just dropped out. Beto O'Rourke just dropped out.

Joe Rogan 19:48 Shocking.

Greg Fitzsimmons 19:49 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 19:49 I thought that guy had king written all over him.

Greg Fitzsimmons 19:51 At the beginning.

Joe Rogan 19:52 Leader.

Greg Fitzsimmons 19:53 At the beginning.

Joe Rogan 19:54 Get the fuck out of here, he never did.

Greg Fitzsimmons 19:55 But he was this guy-

Joe Rogan 19:56 Come on.

Greg Fitzsimmons 19:56 ... that, he got hot from running against, uh, who'd he run against? Uh, Ted Cruz in Texas. Texas of all places. He's running against a guy who's a fucking, you know, arch conservative.

Joe Rogan 20:10 Mm-hmm.

Greg Fitzsimmons 20:10 And he comes out as this bleeding heart liberal and almost wins. And it's like, all of a sudden, Texas is not a red state, it's starting to become like a purple state.

Joe Rogan 20:19 Purple's a good word for it. Well, Austin's very weird, right?

Greg Fitzsimmons 20:23 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 20:24 Austin is this super blue area.

Greg Fitzsimmons 20:27 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 20:28 In a red state.

Greg Fitzsimmons 20:29 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 20:29 But it's also got a lot of cowboys and guns and barbecue.

Greg Fitzsimmons 20:32 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 20:33 It's such a great place.

Greg Fitzsimmons 20:34 Fucking great place.

Joe Rogan 20:35 Austin's one of the best places on Earth.

Greg Fitzsimmons 20:37 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 20:37 It really is. And people figured that out too. You go there and the fucking traffic is absurd.

Greg Fitzsimmons 20:42 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 20:42 And you're like, "What? Why are you all here?" Like-

Greg Fitzsimmons 20:45 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 20:45 Oh, you found out it's awesome.

Greg Fitzsimmons 20:46 There's a, there's a great place to shoot pool there called the Jackalope. Jackalan- Jack O'Lantern, Jackalope.

Joe Rogan 20:52 Hmm.

Greg Fitzsimmons 20:52 And uh, it's just like, you just go in there and fucking everybody says hi. "Hey, you wanna shoot a game? Let me buy you a beer."

Joe Rogan 21:00 Right. Texas.

Greg Fitzsimmons 21:00 Great fucking music on the jukebox. And ah, I love that place.

Joe Rogan 21:04 Yeah, it's not... Well, they're, they're a little y- I mean, they're kind of aware that it's supposed to be kinda cool, so they act a little cool.

Greg Fitzsimmons 21:14 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 21:14 Like, you know, Keep Austin Weird, those T-shirts.

Greg Fitzsimmons 21:17 Right. Right.

Joe Rogan 21:17 By the way, if you wear one of those fucking T-shirts, those Keep Austin Weird T-shirts, you're a part of the problem.

Greg Fitzsimmons 21:21 You're not weird.

Joe Rogan 21:22 No, you're not weird.

Greg Fitzsimmons 21:23 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 21:23 And your f- if you're selling them, you're a piece of shit.

Greg Fitzsimmons 21:25 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 21:26 You just, you're fucking it all up.

Greg Fitzsimmons 21:27 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 21:27 You found this, this spot and you're fucking doing those, those Hollywood lights, you know, when they have a premier?

Greg Fitzsimmons 21:33 Yeah. Right, right.

Joe Rogan 21:33 "Come on, everybody, here's the spot." (singing)

Greg Fitzsimmons 21:35 Yeah. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 21:36 "Let's come ruin it."

Greg Fitzsimmons 21:37 "Let's make a documentary about why it's cool."

Joe Rogan 21:39 When I first started going there though, man, I was just stunned. I was like-

Greg Fitzsimmons 21:42 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 21:43 ... "What a cool fucking place." People are educated and aware, but also Southern.

Greg Fitzsimmons 21:47 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 21:47 You know, they have a Southern accent, a Texas accent.

Greg Fitzsimmons 21:50 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 21:50 But they're also educated and very friendly and open-minded. It's a very unique place.

Greg Fitzsimmons 21:57 And great fucking music.

Joe Rogan 21:58 Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 21:58 Out of there.

Joe Rogan 21:59 Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 22:00 I'm playing there. I'm going to Cap City soon.

Joe Rogan 22:01 Oh, shit.

Greg Fitzsimmons 22:02 Yeah. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 22:02 One of my favorite clubs.

Greg Fitzsimmons 22:03 It's a great club.

Joe Rogan 22:04 The only club I did this whole year, like, on the road.

Greg Fitzsimmons 22:06 Oh, no shit.

Joe Rogan 22:07 Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 22:07 Really?

Joe Rogan 22:07 Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 22:08 Wow.

Joe Rogan 22:08 Yeah. I just said, "I'm going there."

Greg Fitzsimmons 22:10 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 22:10 'Cause I, I, I was um, about four or five months after my special and I'd just put together an hour that I could kinda go on the road with.

Greg Fitzsimmons 22:19 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 22:19 You know, and I'm like, "This, this is good. Let's go to Cap City."

Greg Fitzsimmons 22:22 Bang out two shows a night.

Joe Rogan 22:23 Fuck yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 22:24 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 22:24 It's just a great place, man.

Greg Fitzsimmons 22:26 Right.

Joe Rogan 22:26 It's a fun place. Like, I've had so much fun there.

Greg Fitzsimmons 22:29 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 22:29 Like that, that club is just, it's got fun soaked into the floorboards.

Greg Fitzsimmons 22:34 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 22:34 You know? It's like, it's just a fun... It's a club where, I mean, so many great comics have performed there. And it's go- they, they got good taste.

Greg Fitzsimmons 22:43 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 22:44 You know?

Greg Fitzsimmons 22:44 Yeah, they curate good shows. I mean, they get, they get all ki- and all kinds of comedy. Like, Maria Bamford will be there one week.

Joe Rogan 22:50 Mm-hmm.

Greg Fitzsimmons 22:50 And then the next week, it'll be fucking Doug Stanhope or somebody like that.

Joe Rogan 22:53 Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 22:53 It's just, you know, they're all over the place. But um, the, it's not downtown though, that's the only thing, is you gotta take a little Uber into town. It's about-

Joe Rogan 23:01 Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 23:01 ... five, ten minutes out.

Joe Rogan 23:03 Yeah, but it's, at nighttime it's fine. The real problem there is rush hour.

Greg Fitzsimmons 23:06 Hmm.

Joe Rogan 23:06 They have a real rush hour now.

Greg Fitzsimmons 23:08 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 23:08 They didn't have a real rush hour 10 years ago.

Greg Fitzsimmons 23:10 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 23:10 10 years ago, you could get around in Austin. It was no issue. Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 23:13 I think it's where young kids get out of college now, and when they used to go to San Francisco, now they go to Austin.

Joe Rogan 23:19 Yeah, there's a lot of tech startups there.

Greg Fitzsimmons 23:21 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 23:21 There's a lot of the tech business. (sighs) Yeah. I mean, Onit's there too. There's a lot of shit there.

Greg Fitzsimmons 23:28 Onit's there?

Joe Rogan 23:29 Yeah. Onit. Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 23:29 Oh, no shit.

Joe Rogan 23:30 Yeah. Onit. Uh, Onit Gym's there as well, a whole, the factory's there, everything's there.

Greg Fitzsimmons 23:35 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 23:35 Yeah. It's a great place.

Greg Fitzsimmons 23:37 You go there much?

Joe Rogan 23:38 Not that often.

Greg Fitzsimmons 23:39 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 23:39 No. Maybe once a year.

Greg Fitzsimmons 23:42 No board meetings you have to be at?

Joe Rogan 23:44 I'm not a board meeting kind of guy.

Greg Fitzsimmons 23:47 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 23:48 Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 23:49 I can picture you at a board meeting.

Joe Rogan 23:51 Could you? Stoned.

Greg Fitzsimmons 23:51 Yeah, stoned. Looking at your watch.

Joe Rogan 23:54 Oh, definitely. Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 23:54 Checking your fucking phone.

Joe Rogan 23:55 Checking my Instagram.

Greg Fitzsimmons 23:58 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 23:58 Let's see if anybody posted a good Epstein didn't kill himself meme. (laughs)

Greg Fitzsimmons 24:04 (laughs) Oh, fucking Epstein. Man, what a story.

Joe Rogan 24:08 What a story.

Greg Fitzsimmons 24:09 And so now, what did they say, that it looks like he was choked to death?

Joe Rogan 24:12 Murdered. Yeah, his brother hired uh, uh, a real fucking autopsy guy to check it out. Including that guy, Michael Baden, from that HBO autopsy show.

Greg Fitzsimmons 24:20 Hmm.

Joe Rogan 24:21 That guy said he was murdered. You know who dinged? Did I ding?

Greg Fitzsimmons 24:23 I might've dinged.

Joe Rogan 24:24 Um-Do you remember that show? HBO, Autopsy?

Greg Fitzsimmons 24:27 No.

Joe Rogan 24:28 It was a great show that was on basically pre-internet-

Greg Fitzsimmons 24:31 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 24:32 ... where you would watch these wacky fucking stories of, uh, like, people that got busted murdering people by this, this one really good autopsy coroner. And, uh, this coroner, m- Dr. Michael Baden, one of the ones I'll never forget, he took this one lady, he was in love with this lady, and she died, and s- he stole her corpse and had it in his house, and p- put a tube where her vagina was, and h- he had bought cases and cases of perfume 'cause she was rotting in his bed, and he would just douse her in perfume and keep fucking her.

Greg Fitzsimmons 25:08 Wow.

Joe Rogan 25:09 Dude.

Greg Fitzsimmons 25:09 And he put a tube in her vagina so that-

Joe Rogan 25:11 He put a tube-

Greg Fitzsimmons 25:11 ... it didn't collapse?

Joe Rogan 25:12 N- well, he put a tube there so he could fuck the tube.

Greg Fitzsimmons 25:15 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 25:15 He put a fuck hole in this dead lady's body.

Greg Fitzsimmons 25:18 Damn.

Joe Rogan 25:19 Yeah, oh my God, dude. And apparently it was like, the smell was insane.

Greg Fitzsimmons 25:23 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 25:24 Like, horrific. And this guy, one of the r- I think one of the ways they were suspicious, like, "Why is this motherfucker buying cases of perfume?"

Greg Fitzsimmons 25:31 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 25:32 But he put a mask over her face and, you know, j- just like, just the fact that it used to be her-

Greg Fitzsimmons 25:39 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 25:39 ... was enough.

Greg Fitzsimmons 25:40 Right.

Joe Rogan 25:40 I forget his deal. I think... I wanna say he was a doctor that was... and she was a patient of his and he was in love with her.

Greg Fitzsimmons 25:47 Huh.

Joe Rogan 25:48 Yeah, just some dude who just had a fucking major fuse blow. Pop.

Greg Fitzsimmons 25:52 Yeah. It just goes to show, you don't know who it's gonna be.

Joe Rogan 25:55 Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 25:55 It's, it's not just some derelict on the street.

Joe Rogan 25:58 No.

Greg Fitzsimmons 25:58 It could be your fucking doctor-

Joe Rogan 25:59 Oh, look-

Greg Fitzsimmons 26:00 ... who snaps.

Joe Rogan 26:00 ... doctors are just humans, man.

Greg Fitzsimmons 26:02 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 26:02 They're just humans, and a lot of 'em have access to drugs because of the fact that they're doctors.

Greg Fitzsimmons 26:07 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 26:08 There was a book called Dead Doctors Don't Lie, and it was, uh, basically the gist of the book was that a lot of people are dealing with mineral deficiencies. And that mineral deficiencies, were, w- well... it's by a guy named Dr. Joel Wallach. It's a controversial book and th- his ideas are fairly controversial, but they're not controversial in the sense that, like, in animal husbandry, in, in f- agriculture, animal agriculture, people are very aware that you need to supplement the diet of a lot of animals with minerals. Like, for instance, like, um, s- some of the places where I hunt, um, they don't, um, they don't bait animals, right? These are wild animals that are in these giant ranches. But when they have like a... there's a place in Utah that I go to, it's like 270,000 acres, huge place, but every, you know, fucking mile or so, they scatter, they'll put these mineral licks and it's a mineral lick so that the, the deer and the elk get, uh, minerals in their diet.

Greg Fitzsimmons 27:06 Mm.

Joe Rogan 27:06 Because animals, like, desperately need minerals and sometimes they don't get enough of it from their diet, and particularly from foods where the, the ground is, uh, deficient in minerals. Like, when you... like, s- say if you have... like, if you're growing corn, mono crops is what they call, monocrop agriculture, you're growing corn on, like, fucking 700 acres, just growing corn. Well, when they till that land, like, every year, that, that land has less minerals. Like, you're not supposed to grow the same thing in the-

Greg Fitzsimmons 27:38 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 27:39 ... same place forever.

Greg Fitzsimmons 27:39 Right.

Joe Rogan 27:40 And the places that are doing it right, they do what's called regenerative agriculture and there's a real good argument for it's one of the reasons why you, like... it's good to raise grass-fed cattle in these areas because the manure from the cattle actually is a, a great fertilizer.

Greg Fitzsimmons 27:59 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 28:00 It's good, and you... and also, you know, scraps from food, fish and different things, you need nitrate, uh, y- y- you need, um, uh, nitrogen and n- nitrogen is very difficult to get, you know, when you wanna put it into the ground for fertilizer and all these other different minerals. And-

Greg Fitzsimmons 28:16 Phosphorus.

Joe Rogan 28:16 Yeah, all kinds of shit, like, you have to add that stuff to the soil now-

Greg Fitzsimmons 28:20 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 28:20 ... because the topsoil has been so eroded from continuous over-farming and that... his contention was that most of us, when... even if you're eating like, you know, vegetables and, you know, you're getting stuff at the grocery store, you're getting things that are minerally deficient. They're not optimally mineralized, if that's a word.

Greg Fitzsimmons 28:39 Hmm. Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 28:39 I don't think that's a word.

Greg Fitzsimmons 28:40 No.

Joe Rogan 28:40 But there's not... y- y- like, so I take, uh, colloidal minerals. It's, um, just a, a liquid form of minerals, like minerals that come from, um... there's a, a type of water that's like a, a very rich in mineral water that... it's called glacial milk and basically what it is is the runoff from glaciers that, uh... it, it carries a, an incredible amount of minerals in it to the point where the water actually kind of looks kind of milky. And you can get that in some places, some places i- on Earth, people, their water actually looks like that 'cause it's got so many minerals in it.

Greg Fitzsimmons 29:15 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 29:15 And these people have like dark hair and they... you know, there's m- health benefits are attributed to that.

Greg Fitzsimmons 29:20 Right.

Joe Rogan 29:20 I'm not smart enough to know whether or not that's accurate, but there's definitely some benefit, some health benefit to taking minerals.

Greg Fitzsimmons 29:28 Right, people go to mineral spas. I mean-

Joe Rogan 29:29 Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 29:29 ... it was always the, that was the miracley elixer, elixir.

Joe Rogan 29:34 Yeah, yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 29:34 Just si-

Joe Rogan 29:34 Do you take any minerals? Do you take any? Here it is. What is that?

Greg Fitzsimmons 29:36 I don't take anything.

Joe Rogan 29:37 Is that glacial milk? Yeah, freshwater meets glacial milk in Iceland. Look at that. Isn't that crazy?

Greg Fitzsimmons 29:42 Damn.

Joe Rogan 29:43 So that stuff on the right is just fucking overwhelmingly packed with minerals.

Greg Fitzsimmons 29:47 So they just bottle that shit?

Joe Rogan 29:49 Mm-hmm. And I think, you know, you probably could get too many minerals too. I mean, there's always like the balance. But like if you-

Greg Fitzsimmons 29:55 What, what is a... what is a good intake? Like, I don't take shit. Uh, I think sometimes I take, uh, vitamin D.

Joe Rogan 30:03 Vitamin D's good, especially if you're a white fellow like yourself who doesn't get enough sun.

Greg Fitzsimmons 30:06 If you're not getting enough sun, right.

Joe Rogan 30:07 Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 30:08 Right. That's why I take it.

Joe Rogan 30:08 That's real good.

Greg Fitzsimmons 30:09 And, uh, that's it.

Joe Rogan 30:11 Do you take D3?

Greg Fitzsimmons 30:12 That's all I take.

Joe Rogan 30:13 D3 is very good. Um, I take B12, I take D, I take, uh, I take multivitamins. I take what this called? It's a company called Pure, Pure Encapsulations and they have a, uh, an athlete Pure Pack. It's very nice 'cause it's real simple, little packet I take... not a sponsor. Um, take this packet, just bring 'em with me on the road, open it up and just take those. It's just... and then I also take, um-... there's a, there's a company called Athletic Greens, and, uh, they make a really good supplement that I pour into water. And it's very easy, and it's got a bunch of different shit, vitamins and minerals. That is a sponsor.

Greg Fitzsimmons 30:50 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 30:50 That's good. That's good too because it's, it's whole food based. It's not... There's nothing synthesized. It's all based on food.

Greg Fitzsimmons 30:56 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 30:57 But I think you ha- you really should take something, you know? I mean, it's so hard to make sure that you're getting all the vitamins that you need from your food, especially when you go on the road.

Greg Fitzsimmons 31:09 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 31:09 On the road, it's... You know. Unless you know you're getting a- you're eating in a really good organic restaurant-

Greg Fitzsimmons 31:14 Right.

Joe Rogan 31:14 ... where you're getting high-quality vegetables, high-quality meat-

Greg Fitzsimmons 31:16 Right.

Joe Rogan 31:17 ... it's hard.

Greg Fitzsimmons 31:18 Hotels have gotten a lot better, man. In our lifetime, hotel food used to be garbage.

Joe Rogan 31:23 How about airport? Airport food?

Greg Fitzsimmons 31:24 Airport food's gotten great.

Joe Rogan 31:25 Way better.

Greg Fitzsimmons 31:26 You got lemonades in the air.

Joe Rogan 31:27 Yes. Yeah, you can get real food at the airport.

Greg Fitzsimmons 31:29 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 31:29 Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 31:30 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 31:30 I'm, that's a, that's a big issue, man. It's a big issue for people that go on the road. 'Cause you know, you're on the road like three, four days in a row eating fucking Jack in the Box, you start feeling like shit.

Greg Fitzsimmons 31:41 Oh, yeah. And then if you're... I mean, comedy club food, in 50 years, has not gotten any better.

Joe Rogan 31:47 (laughs)

Greg Fitzsimmons 31:47 It's deep-fried chicken wings and-

Joe Rogan 31:49 Except Comedy Magic Club.

Greg Fitzsimmons 31:51 Comedy Magic's got good club- got good food?

Joe Rogan 31:53 Dude. They give you a fucking serious restaurant steak there. Like you could go there and eat a legit excellent dinner and see a show.

Greg Fitzsimmons 32:00 Oh, what am I saying? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've had plenty of dinners there.

Joe Rogan 32:03 It's very good.

Greg Fitzsimmons 32:03 Right, they do have good food.

Joe Rogan 32:04 Icehouse has good burgers too.

Greg Fitzsimmons 32:06 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 32:06 Icehouse has very good burgers.

Greg Fitzsimmons 32:07 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 32:08 Um, but, uh, Comedy Magic Club is probably the tops. That's top.

Greg Fitzsimmons 32:11 And then, you know what's good too, is, uh, Hilarity's in Cleveland, they got the Pickwick & Frolic Restaurant upstairs.

Joe Rogan 32:16 Yes, yes. I was just there.

Greg Fitzsimmons 32:16 That's a good restaurant.

Joe Rogan 32:17 I was just there.

Greg Fitzsimmons 32:18 Really?

Joe Rogan 32:19 Yeah, we went to see Jessie May, me and, uh, Santino. Jessie May was playing at Hilarity's, and we were over at, uh, we were at this arena. So we came down and saw Jessie May, and, uh, I had a prime rib. It was fucking great.

Greg Fitzsimmons 32:30 Yeah. It's good, right?

Joe Rogan 32:31 Very good, very good.

Greg Fitzsimmons 32:32 Yeah. Nick Costes is the guy that runs that place.

Joe Rogan 32:34 Although Santino got- Santino got food poisoning.

Greg Fitzsimmons 32:35 No.

Joe Rogan 32:36 Yes, he did.

Greg Fitzsimmons 32:37 Oh, boy.

Joe Rogan 32:38 Yes, he did.

Greg Fitzsimmons 32:38 Oh, boy.

Joe Rogan 32:38 We don't know where he got it. I'm assuming it was the vegetables. Uh, I mean, that's a lot of times when people get it, you get it from, um, uh, things that aren't washed properly-

Greg Fitzsimmons 32:47 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 32:47 ... or they sit out. Like, uh, they say that a large percentage of food poisoning cases are salad.

Greg Fitzsimmons 32:53 Yeah, I could see that.

Joe Rogan 32:54 Yeah, it's handled wrong, not washed correctly.

Greg Fitzsimmons 32:57 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 32:58 You know, a lot of, um, people when they get E. coli, they get it from salad because of the runoff from anim- animal agriculture. The runoff from the shit, animal shit gets-

Greg Fitzsimmons 33:08 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 33:08 ... in the water, the water gets into the s- the lettuce or the... Spinach is a big one. Spinach.

Greg Fitzsimmons 33:12 Right.

Joe Rogan 33:12 A lot of people get E. coli.

Greg Fitzsimmons 33:13 Well, that's why if you go to a third world country where you don't trust the water, stay away from the salad.

Joe Rogan 33:17 Oh, yeah, right.

Greg Fitzsimmons 33:18 That's the first thing they say is, "Don't eat lettuce in a third world country."

Joe Rogan 33:21 Good point.

Greg Fitzsimmons 33:21 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 33:22 Right. Like meat is meat.

Greg Fitzsimmons 33:24 Right.

Joe Rogan 33:24 As long as it's seared on the outside, you're golden.

Greg Fitzsimmons 33:26 Oh, yeah, look at Anthony Bourdain-

Joe Rogan 33:27 Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 33:27 ... when he- he would just go to fucking Vietnam and go to a street meat shop where there's no running water-

Joe Rogan 33:32 Mm-hmm.

Greg Fitzsimmons 33:32 ... and he'd just gobble down some fucking whatever, meat-

Joe Rogan 33:35 Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 33:35 He didn't even know what meat it was.

Joe Rogan 33:37 Well, they used to drink wine, uh, when people would travel to prevent traveler's illness.

Greg Fitzsimmons 33:44 Hmm.

Joe Rogan 33:44 'Cause they didn't want to drink water, 'cause if you drank wa- Like, if you found a fucking, a pond somewhere and you try to suck some water out of it-

Greg Fitzsimmons 33:51 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 33:52 ... like back then, there wasn't a lot... I mean, you had to boil it, that's it.

Greg Fitzsimmons 33:55 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 33:56 You know? Nowadays, you can get... They have a bunch of different things you could do to water if you find it. Like, you could take water out of a fucking elk wallow. You know what an elk wallow is?

Greg Fitzsimmons 34:05 No.

Joe Rogan 34:06 W- uh, it's like a puddle that elk piss in, and they wallow around in it, and they get their scent on it, they... Especially when they're rutting, when they're having sex with the female elk. They get in there, and they piss all over the water, and they roll around in it, and so you get this muddy puddle. And sometimes hikers, like if you're on some serious fucking trek, you know, you're doing like the Appalachian Trail or something like that-

Greg Fitzsimmons 34:28 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 34:28 ... and your water's scarce, you can't find a creek, you gotta take the water out of an elk wallow. I have friend-

Greg Fitzsimmons 34:33 No shit.

Joe Rogan 34:34 I have friends that have done that. And you throw it through some filters.

Greg Fitzsimmons 34:37 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 34:37 What they do is they'll take it and they'll throw it through filters. Well, they'll, they'll put it through a biological filter first, so they- there's like a, a f- a filter that... It's like a pump. But the problem is with those, those pumps can get clogged up 'cause they're basically taking sediment and they, and then they're filtering it out, and then you get the water afterwards, it still tastes like piss.

Greg Fitzsimmons 34:58 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 34:59 'Cause there's piss in it. You're drinking piss.

Greg Fitzsimmons 35:01 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 35:01 You're just drinking piss that's not contaminated with something that can kill you.

Greg Fitzsimmons 35:04 Wow.

Joe Rogan 35:04 So then, a lot of times, guys, even after that, they take something called a SteriPen. You ever heard of a SteriPen?

Greg Fitzsimmons 35:10 No.

Joe Rogan 35:11 Steri's short for sterilization pen, and it uses some kind of light. P- pull, pull up SteriPen f... I don't wanna say this wrong, but u- utilizing some sort of light, uh, some sort of, um... I forgot what kind of light. What is it?

Greg Fitzsimmons 35:28 UV light.

Joe Rogan 35:28 UV light. And you, you keep it in the water for a certain amount of time, it just nukes everything, kills everything. But still-

Greg Fitzsimmons 35:36 That's amazing.

Joe Rogan 35:37 ... tastes like piss, so you're drinking piss.

Greg Fitzsimmons 35:39 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 35:39 You're definitely drinking piss. So a lot of times guys will take... Like, they sell these different... There's a SteriPen. So that little thing with that light, you spin it around inside your, your glass of water, and depending upon the amount of ounces, a certain amount of time, but it's not that much time sh- shockingly. It's like 10 minutes. And sometimes guys even throw, um, iodine tablets in water to like... The whole deal is just kill anything that could fuck you up.

Greg Fitzsimmons 36:05 Right.

Joe Rogan 36:05 And just get over the fact that it's gonna taste like piss. And then, um, they also take, um, like... There's a bunch of companies, like, there's a company called Mountain Ops, they have stuff that, like, you throw into the water to make the water taste better, you know.

Greg Fitzsimmons 36:18 I wonder if you drink a glass of that, if you saw a female elk and she started presenting...

Joe Rogan 36:23 You'd get hard?

Greg Fitzsimmons 36:23 You'd get hard as a rock.

Joe Rogan 36:25 I think you'd, you'd probably wanna suck an elk's dick.

Greg Fitzsimmons 36:27 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 36:28 You're probably-

Greg Fitzsimmons 36:28 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 36:29 You're probably gay for elk.

Greg Fitzsimmons 36:31 No.

Joe Rogan 36:32 No?

Greg Fitzsimmons 36:32 No, it's not gay if it's an animal.

Joe Rogan 36:33 Oh.

Greg Fitzsimmons 36:34 It's a male animal.

Joe Rogan 36:34 So it's bestiality.

Greg Fitzsimmons 36:35 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 36:36 Right.

Greg Fitzsimmons 36:36 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 36:37 Interesting.

Greg Fitzsimmons 36:38 It's, um...Yeah, that, they should get those into third world countries, some version of that, to help people drink water and-

Joe Rogan 36:44 Yes. Yeah, yeah. Well, they, they definitely do. They, they definitely do get filters and different things like that into certain countries. You know, um, we're, we're um, involved with, uh, Fight for the Forgotten. It's my good buddy, Justin Wren. Um, he's got a, um, charity where they build wells for the pygmies in the Congo.

Greg Fitzsimmons 37:03 Oh, wow.

Joe Rogan 37:03 And, um, through this podcast and through this company, a company called the Cash App, they've raised thousands and thousands of dollars and built a bunch of wells and they're in the process of building them now and we've donated a bunch of money to that too.

Greg Fitzsimmons 37:15 Oh, that's amazing.

Joe Rogan 37:15 It's very cool.

Greg Fitzsimmons 37:16 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 37:17 But my point being, this motherfucker was just here last week, and he's got a parasite they can't even identify.

Greg Fitzsimmons 37:22 Ugh.

Joe Rogan 37:22 And he's had it for six months. And he's, he gets so fucked up, like sometimes he works out and then he gets to the point where his, his body turns pale and he starts shaking and shivering and they have to get him into a shower. Like...

Greg Fitzsimmons 37:32 Oh, shit.

Joe Rogan 37:33 Dude, they don't even know what it is. Like, they think ... Do you remember what he said it was, they think it was? A type of parasite?

Narrator 37:39 They've been testing for, like, Lyme's disease recently.

Joe Rogan 37:41 Yeah, everything.

Narrator 37:41 Quite a few things, yeah.

Joe Rogan 37:42 Quite a few things.

Narrator 37:42 They have no idea.

Joe Rogan 37:43 They think it's in his brain.

Greg Fitzsimmons 37:45 (sighs)

Joe Rogan 37:45 Whatever it is.

Greg Fitzsimmons 37:46 Jesus.

Joe Rogan 37:46 Yeah. And he's been on heavy, heavy, heavy antibiotics. And of course, one of the things that comes with heavy antibiotics, uh, particularly something called Cipro, is you, you don't just get sick from that, you also get ... Your ligaments become very, very lax, and, uh, they get weak. And a lot of, uh, people that come off antibiotics for a long period of time, they, uh, are subject to, uh, injuries. Like, uh, athletes when they get staph infection, um, they put you on this heavy dose of antibiotics, but all your ligaments get weak.

Greg Fitzsimmons 38:18 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 38:19 And then you end up tearing your ACL or-

Greg Fitzsimmons 38:20 Okay.

Joe Rogan 38:21 ... you know, tearing ... He's got ... Both of his shoulders are torn, and he thinks it's probably a connection to the antibiotics-

Greg Fitzsimmons 38:27 Huh.

Joe Rogan 38:27 ... that he had to take to deal with the staph or to deal with whatever the fuck this, um, this infection is that he's got. Some very, very strange parasite. They, they ... He goes so deep in the Congo, it might be an unidentified parasite and that's part of the problem, is that he's basically like a fucking lab rat right now.

Greg Fitzsimmons 38:43 Mm.

Joe Rogan 38:43 And he's got malaria three different times.

Greg Fitzsimmons 38:45 Wow.

Joe Rogan 38:45 Not once, not twice, three times.

Greg Fitzsimmons 38:48 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 38:48 Fucking malaria, three times.

Greg Fitzsimmons 38:50 Did he h- he didn't take the, uh, anti-

Joe Rogan 38:52 He did.

Greg Fitzsimmons 38:52 ... malarial stuff? It still, he's still got it.

Joe Rogan 38:53 He did. Well, here ... One of the things ... He got it and then ... He said the anti-malaria shit is so bad, and it, it's, it's, it's so rough on you, that some people w- would prefer to get malaria and get it treated. (laughs)

Greg Fitzsimmons 39:05 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 39:06 And what was the stuff that he said that, uh, you get, uh, there's a toxic sickness that he got from malodorn? What the fuck was it called?

Narrator 39:15 Trying to think of that word for like two minutes.

Joe Rogan 39:16 Malodium? Malodium?

Narrator 39:19 I can pull it up.

Joe Rogan 39:19 There's a, um, a type of anti-malaria medication that they give to, particularly to soldiers, and they find that these guys ... It's fucking incredibly toxic, and they found it in his brain. They found that he's got ... He's suffering from poisoning from this anti-malaria medication.

Greg Fitzsimmons 39:38 Wow.

Joe Rogan 39:38 And he was on, like, really high doses of the shit too.

Greg Fitzsimmons 39:41 If you live somewhere like that, you're supposed to be taking it all the time.

Joe Rogan 39:45 (sighs)

Greg Fitzsimmons 39:45 Constantly.

Joe Rogan 39:46 That's what the fuck, dude.

Greg Fitzsimmons 39:47 You know, when they built the, uh, the, um-

Joe Rogan 39:49 (clears throat) Malodium? What the fuck?

Greg Fitzsimmons 39:51 The Panama Canal, they went down there. The French tried to dig it for, like, 50 fucking years and they dr- were dropping like flies from the malari-

Joe Rogan 40:00 (laughs)

Greg Fitzsimmons 40:00 They didn't know it was from malaria. They had no idea what was going on. They just knew people were getting sick-

Joe Rogan 40:05 Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 40:05 ... while they were trying to ... I mean, the scope of that project at that time was insane. I mean, they were hand digging a fucking-

Joe Rogan 40:13 Canal.

Greg Fitzsimmons 40:13 ... canal from (laughs) I mean, through, like, thick jungle.

Joe Rogan 40:19 I- in the middle of the country.

Greg Fitzsimmons 40:20 In the middle of the country, and they were just ... People were getting sick and then they would, uh ... And eventually France, after 50 years, said, "Fuck it," and then they just left.

Joe Rogan 40:29 (laughs)

Greg Fitzsimmons 40:29 And then for some reason, we bought it and we're like, "We can do it." So we went down there-

Joe Rogan 40:35 Oh, here it is. Methloquine. Mefloquine? That sounds like a queef. She, she mephlqqeined.

Greg Fitzsimmons 40:42 So we show up-

Joe Rogan 40:43 That's a p-

Greg Fitzsimmons 40:43 ... and they realize one day-

Joe Rogan 40:45 Sp- sp- spell it for some- but spell it. Spell it out and-

Greg Fitzsimmons 40:47 Meflo-

Joe Rogan 40:47 Put it up.

Greg Fitzsimmons 40:47 Oh.

Joe Rogan 40:47 Put it up there again so we could...

Greg Fitzsimmons 40:49 A mellow queen.

Joe Rogan 40:51 Methloquine. Sold under the brand names Lariam ... That's what I've heard. I've heard medication to prevent or treat malaria. It's used for preten- to start a potential exposure and continue for several weeks after potential exposure and then people get sick off of that stuff.

Greg Fitzsimmons 41:05 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 41:06 That's not it? That's definitely it?

Narrator 41:07 Yep, yep.

Joe Rogan 41:07 Okay. All right. Seems wrong, like the name seems wrong, doesn't it?

Narrator 41:12 That's what I looked up.

Greg Fitzsimmons 41:13 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 41:13 I know, but it-

Narrator 41:13 I don't know.

Joe Rogan 41:13 Does it seem right to you? It seems wr- wrong to me. I don't know.

Greg Fitzsimmons 41:17 So we-

Joe Rogan 41:17 I'm sure it's right, but it just ...

Greg Fitzsimmons 41:20 So we go in and some genius goes, "It's the fucking mosquitoes. It's- we're getting an infection from the mosquitoes." So they've simply got rid of standing water. They just started finding ... They had- they had teams of people every day would go out and they'd find puddles and they would get rid of the puddles and the mala- they went from going like ... I'm telling you, one out of three people was dying trying to dig this tunnel and they went to almost nobody dying.

Joe Rogan 41:44 Do you know malaria's killed some insane number of people? Like, we looked it up once. I think the rumor is that it's killed half the people who have ever died, ever.

Greg Fitzsimmons 41:56 No shit.

Joe Rogan 41:57 Have been killed by malaria.

Greg Fitzsimmons 41:59 Whoa.

Joe Rogan 42:00 Yeah. That was what I had heard. I think it's less than that, that they can, that they can definitely determine was killed by malaria. But nevertheless, it's a staggering number of humans.

Greg Fitzsimmons 42:13 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 42:13 Those little dirty mosquitoes.

Greg Fitzsimmons 42:15 Yeah. I think we can get rid of them, right?

Joe Rogan 42:17 Yeah, they're trying to do that. They're trying to genetically engineer mosquitoes that don't carry malaria, and then they're also thinking that, you know, and this is really dangerous, really dangerous, that they could just get rid of mosquitoes, period.

Greg Fitzsimmons 42:31 Hmm.

Joe Rogan 42:32 ... but the problem with that is, man, you don't know how all that shit's connected.

Greg Fitzsimmons 42:37 I know.

Joe Rogan 42:38 What happens if you get rid of mosquitoes? What ha- do beetles take over? Do beetles start carrying diseases? They start biting people?

Greg Fitzsimmons 42:44 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 42:44 Like, do, what morphs? Like, a mosquito wasn't always a mosquito. This must be understood, right? A mosquito, at one point in time, was a single-celled organism, just like us. And then it became a mosquito and found a really good niche.

Greg Fitzsimmons 42:56 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 42:56 Right? It's like, "This fucking mosquito business is the shit," right?

Greg Fitzsimmons 42:59 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 42:59 It's like, uh, fast food.

Greg Fitzsimmons 43:01 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 43:01 Like, you can't go wrong. Mosquito business is awesome.

Greg Fitzsimmons 43:04 Sure.

Joe Rogan 43:05 They fucking go crazy.

Greg Fitzsimmons 43:06 Yeah. All they need is a little bit of water and any living thing that they can take a little fucking drop of blood from.

Joe Rogan 43:11 Did you ever go to my, when I rented a house in Encino, did you ever go to that place?

Greg Fitzsimmons 43:15 I don't think so.

Joe Rogan 43:16 I think it was before you moved out here. But when I first moved out here, (laughs) I had, I rent- I rented this house in Encino and nobody had lived in it for, like, a couple years. And the, the fucking pool had not been taken care of, so the pool was green-

Greg Fitzsimmons 43:29 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 43:29 ... like the Hulk's dick, okay? And I looked in the pool and it was, little things were swimming, like schools of fish. And I was like, "What the fuck is this?" And the pool guy goes, "Oh, bro, that's mosquito larva." I was like, "What?" And he goes, "Yeah." He goes, "We gotta kill this now before you literally infect the entire neighborhood with mosquitoes." Like, there was fish, like-

Greg Fitzsimmons 43:51 No shit.

Joe Rogan 43:52 ... like, swimming-

Greg Fitzsimmons 43:53 Whoa.

Joe Rogan 43:53 ... like, dude, like, filled with mosquito... Have you ever seen mosquito larva in a pool?

Greg Fitzsimmons 43:58 No.

Joe Rogan 43:58 It was so disturbing. I was like, "I gotta get a hotel." He's like, "No, no, no. We can kill it. We can kill it." But they had to pour, like, fuck, they drained the entire pool and poured g- gallons and gallons of poison in there. They just filled... And I couldn't swim in it for, like, six months or something.

Greg Fitzsimmons 44:13 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 44:13 I don't remember what it was. But it was, it was so nasty. You could see these little fuckers swimming-

Greg Fitzsimmons 44:18 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 44:19 ... like schools of fish.

Greg Fitzsimmons 44:20 That's amazing.

Joe Rogan 44:20 Like little schools (mimics water flowing) swimming around-

Greg Fitzsimmons 44:22 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 44:22 ... in there.

Greg Fitzsimmons 44:23 Wow.

Joe Rogan 44:23 Yeah. Standing water.

Greg Fitzsimmons 44:25 Yeah. Standing water, man. That's all it takes. That's why you gotta have a fountain, you know, with the little fucking bubbles running through it.

Joe Rogan 44:30 We are so, so lucky when it comes to bugs out here though.

Greg Fitzsimmons 44:35 I know.

Joe Rogan 44:36 We got no bugs.

Greg Fitzsimmons 44:37 No bugs. Well, we got, we got termites. That's the only thing that they're, they're fucking insidious.

Joe Rogan 44:42 Yeah, they're gross.

Greg Fitzsimmons 44:42 Like, we built a fence around our house. Took, like, six weeks. They put it in. And, and six months later, there's fucking, like, little... You never see shavings-

Joe Rogan 44:51 Powder, yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 44:51 ... from the, that powder on the ground? I'm like, "You motherfuckers brought termite infested wood to my house."

Joe Rogan 44:57 (gasps)

Greg Fitzsimmons 44:57 "And now it's in my house also."

Joe Rogan 44:59 The w- the wood had termites in it?

Greg Fitzsimmons 45:00 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 45:01 Uh, can you sue?

Greg Fitzsimmons 45:02 I probably... I'm not really a suer.

Joe Rogan 45:04 What are you? Plot revenge?

Greg Fitzsimmons 45:06 Just a, just a guy who gets sad-

Joe Rogan 45:08 Silent, silent revenge.

Greg Fitzsimmons 45:08 ... when things happen. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 45:09 Don't say that.

Greg Fitzsimmons 45:10 (laughs) I'm Irish.

Joe Rogan 45:11 Silent, silent revenge.

Greg Fitzsimmons 45:12 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 45:13 Revenge.

Greg Fitzsimmons 45:14 I'm an arsonist.

Joe Rogan 45:15 Hmm.

Greg Fitzsimmons 45:15 I find the next project-

Joe Rogan 45:16 Whoa.

Greg Fitzsimmons 45:16 ... he's gonna do, take it down.

Joe Rogan 45:18 D- so they brought wood that had termites in it?

Greg Fitzsimmons 45:22 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 45:23 For sure?

Greg Fitzsimmons 45:24 Well, the wood had fucking termites in it immediately.

Joe Rogan 45:26 Did you contact the contractor?

Greg Fitzsimmons 45:29 Uh, I don't even remember. This was, like, 15 years ago.

Joe Rogan 45:32 Well, is the fence still there?

Greg Fitzsimmons 45:35 Yeah, but it's like, I tried to screw something into it the other day-

Joe Rogan 45:37 It fell apart?

Greg Fitzsimmons 45:38 ... and it wouldn't, it wouldn't hold the fucking screw.

Joe Rogan 45:39 (laughs)

Greg Fitzsimmons 45:39 It was, like, powder underneath. The whole thing needs to be ripped down.

Joe Rogan 45:42 You could run through that fence like the Hulk, and that'd be pretty cool.

Greg Fitzsimmons 45:44 Yeah, yeah. We're not keeping anybody out.

Joe Rogan 45:46 Just like, "Ah!"

Greg Fitzsimmons 45:46 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 45:46 (imitates explosion)

Greg Fitzsimmons 45:47 The Hi-C guy-

Joe Rogan 45:49 Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 45:49 ... and the Hulk meeting at my house.

Joe Rogan 45:51 The Kool-Aid, the Kool-Aid guy, right?

Greg Fitzsimmons 45:52 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 45:52 "Hey, Kool-Aid?" Remember that?

Greg Fitzsimmons 45:54 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 45:54 What ever happened to the Kool-Aid guy? They just stopped that campaign.

Greg Fitzsimmons 45:56 That was a huge campaign.

Joe Rogan 45:58 Yeah, he ran through the fucking house everywhere.

Greg Fitzsimmons 46:00 Yep.

Joe Rogan 46:00 Kids were just sitting there, "Boy, I'm thirsty." Boom!

Greg Fitzsimmons 46:03 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 46:03 A fucking giant pitcher-

Greg Fitzsimmons 46:05 Kool-Aid man shows up, yeah.

Joe Rogan 46:05 ... a pitcher with a face on it runs right through your house.

Greg Fitzsimmons 46:07 "You kids want a fucking bucket of sugar with some water in it?"

Joe Rogan 46:11 Boy, was that delicious though.

Greg Fitzsimmons 46:12 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 46:13 I had some Kool-Aid, um, a couple years ago. I ate at this place in, um, what's that shitty town in California? Fresno.

Greg Fitzsimmons 46:24 Hmm.

Joe Rogan 46:25 There's a place called... Goddammit, I follow them on Instagram. It's a soul food place in Fresno. (slaps thigh) I'm trying to remember. Um, Paul's Kitchen. Is that it?

Narrator 46:38 Chef Paul's.

Joe Rogan 46:39 Chef Paul's.

Greg Fitzsimmons 46:39 Chef Paul's Cafe, yeah.

Joe Rogan 46:40 Dude. You know how sometimes you're on the road and you find a place that's just fucking off the charts good?

Greg Fitzsimmons 46:46 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 46:46 If you're in Fresno, ladies and gentlemen, Chef Paul's Cafe. I fucking give it two thumbs up.

Greg Fitzsimmons 46:51 No shit.

Joe Rogan 46:52 Five stars. Full-on soul food, like fucking collard greens, oxtails, like, phenominal food. And they also had Kool-Aid.

Greg Fitzsimmons 47:02 Wow.

Joe Rogan 47:02 I was like, "Okay, well, obviously I'm going all in. I gotta get the Kool-Aid too." I hadn't had Kool-Aid in probably a decade. It was-

Greg Fitzsimmons 47:09 Is that a soul food thing, Kool-Aid?

Joe Rogan 47:12 I don't know. It was their menu thing.

Greg Fitzsimmons 47:13 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 47:13 I don't know. They had a bunch of crazy shit on the menu, really good.

Greg Fitzsimmons 47:15 All right.

Joe Rogan 47:15 That's it right there. But, y- you know, it's a great restaurant in a sketchy town.

Greg Fitzsimmons 47:21 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 47:22 Fresno's sketchy as fuck. I mean, you got, like, like, we were driving down the street and there's, like, homeless communities, skid row style. Like, look at that food, dude, seriously.

Greg Fitzsimmons 47:29 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 47:29 Chicken and waffles.

Greg Fitzsimmons 47:30 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 47:31 Oh my God, their food is so good. Their fried chicken's off the charts, but the oxtail, I had oxtail. There's chicken and waffles.

Greg Fitzsimmons 47:38 Oh, that looks good.

Joe Rogan 47:40 It's so good, man. That place is amazing. And it's just super, super authentic, like, down home, like, real hearty comfort food. There's that Kool-Aid right there, baby. Kool-Aid on the menu. I mean, why not, man? Just get all the flavors when you're at a place-

Greg Fitzsimmons 47:57 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 47:57 ... like that.

Greg Fitzsimmons 47:57 Right.

Joe Rogan 47:58 Don't drink water, you asshole. Get all the flavors.

Greg Fitzsimmons 48:00 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 48:00 Get yourself some Kool-Aid too. Get yourself some Kool-Aid too.

Greg Fitzsimmons 48:04 Well, that's what Red Bull is, isn't it? It's just Kool-Aid.

Joe Rogan 48:07 Red Bull has taurine in it, and taurine is actually originally from bull cum.

Greg Fitzsimmons 48:13 Really?

Joe Rogan 48:14 Yes. Taurine is a stimulant that's derived from bull jizz. And, uh, Hitler used to actually take bull cum. I think I found that out from Tom Papa. Was that who told me?

Greg Fitzsimmons 48:26 Wow.

Joe Rogan 48:27 Someone told me that, and we Googled it. I was like, "What?" Like, they figured out a way to synthesize it, but taurine is one of the actual ingredients in bull jizz.

Greg Fitzsimmons 48:38 Damn.

Joe Rogan 48:38 So people used to take bull jizz as some sort of a stimulant, I guess. Here it is. "Heil Hitler!"

Greg Fitzsimmons 48:44 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 48:44 Oh, "Hi, Hitler. Medical records show Fuhrer Adolf was a cocaine addict and was injected with bull semen to help his sex life."... he also took, uh, steroids. He took a lot of, uh, testosterone. He suffered from flatulence, known to break wind during meals with his generals. Oh, they all ratted him out.

Narrator 49:03 (laughs)

Greg Fitzsimmons 49:04 I wonder if you say to a guy who's killing-

Narrator 49:06 (laughs)

Greg Fitzsimmons 49:06 ... millions of Jews, "That was offensive."

Joe Rogan 49:08 Yeah. (laughs)

Greg Fitzsimmons 49:09 "That, that smell was offensive."

Joe Rogan 49:10 "Your, your farts are worse-"

Greg Fitzsimmons 49:11 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 49:12 "... than what you've done to the Jews."

Greg Fitzsimmons 49:13 Right, right. You gassed them, you're gassing us now.

Narrator 49:15 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 49:16 Well, he was a vegetarian too.

Greg Fitzsimmons 49:18 Was he?

Joe Rogan 49:18 Yeah. If you eat a lot of vegetables, like-

Greg Fitzsimmons 49:20 That's the gas.

Joe Rogan 49:20 ... broccoli farts, you know.

Greg Fitzsimmons 49:22 Yep.

Joe Rogan 49:22 Uh, they're famous.

Greg Fitzsimmons 49:22 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 49:23 Broccoli farts. 'Cause your, your body's breaking down all that, uh, fiber.

Greg Fitzsimmons 49:26 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 49:26 Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 49:26 I think it has something to do also with the, the, the vegetables are breaking down faster than the meat. If you eat meat and vegetables-

Joe Rogan 49:33 Oh, yeah?

Greg Fitzsimmons 49:33 ... and they get caught in your intestine, that's why you get pockets-

Joe Rogan 49:36 Hmm.

Greg Fitzsimmons 49:37 ... of gas.

Joe Rogan 49:37 Oh.

Greg Fitzsimmons 49:37 The meat's blocking it up.

Joe Rogan 49:39 Fermenting.

Greg Fitzsimmons 49:39 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 49:40 Steaming up, creating gas.

Greg Fitzsimmons 49:42 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 49:42 Ugh.

Greg Fitzsimmons 49:42 Dude, I've been farting.

Joe Rogan 49:43 Whoo.

Greg Fitzsimmons 49:44 Phenomenally. I enjoy farting.

Joe Rogan 49:46 Do you?

Greg Fitzsimmons 49:47 And my wife laughs at it, thank God. We wouldn't still be together.

Joe Rogan 49:50 You fart in front of her?

Greg Fitzsimmons 49:50 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 49:51 You don't even let her know it's coming?

Greg Fitzsimmons 49:53 No, it's a, it's an, it's... I will walk in the room with a fart because she laughs at it.

Joe Rogan 49:59 (farts)

Greg Fitzsimmons 49:59 I don't know what it is.

Narrator 50:00 (laughs)

Greg Fitzsimmons 50:00 She thinks it's funny every fucking time I fart.

Narrator 50:02 (clapping)

Joe Rogan 50:02 She's like your guy.

Greg Fitzsimmons 50:03 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 50:04 (laughs)

Narrator 50:04 (laughs)

Greg Fitzsimmons 50:04 She is. And she farts, she wishes she could fart as much as I do.

Joe Rogan 50:08 Mm-hmm.

Greg Fitzsimmons 50:08 But when she does, she lets me know.

Joe Rogan 50:10 (farts)

Greg Fitzsimmons 50:10 Our family does.

Joe Rogan 50:12 The whole family farts?

Greg Fitzsimmons 50:13 Son farts at the dinner table, we all laugh.

Joe Rogan 50:15 Whoa. (laughs)

Greg Fitzsimmons 50:15 Yeah. We're very open about it.

Joe Rogan 50:17 But do you think that that's gonna carry on to his next relationship?

Greg Fitzsimmons 50:19 I hope so.

Joe Rogan 50:20 I hope so too. But it's hard to find a gal that's down with that.

Greg Fitzsimmons 50:24 I think you gotta make them down with it. You-

Joe Rogan 50:26 (laughs)

Greg Fitzsimmons 50:26 ... you ease them in. You start with a little one.

Joe Rogan 50:29 (laughs)

Greg Fitzsimmons 50:29 And then gently, you, you just, you know...

Joe Rogan 50:32 (sighs)

Greg Fitzsimmons 50:32 If they smell, you take it in the other room. But if it's just a... and you know your cycle. You usually know what's in the tank based on the previous ones.

Joe Rogan 50:39 Sometimes you don't. Sometimes you don't. Sometimes you think you're floating in an air biscuit and you let out a bomb.

Greg Fitzsimmons 50:43 Yeah. (farts) Yeah.

Joe Rogan 50:46 Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 50:46 Whenever I'm getting on a plane, I try to, I try to get a few out before I get on the plane when I'm on that, uh, that ramp.

Joe Rogan 50:52 You know what's weird? And this is really strange. I mean, really strange. And not a lot of people are aware of this. When you are around certain smells, (clears throat) like, if you're... like, say, if you're butchering an animal, okay? Like, say, if you shot an animal in the field and you're hunting and you, you, you cut it up and you... The smells that come from that animal will be in your farts, even if you don't eat it.

Greg Fitzsimmons 51:15 Wow.

Joe Rogan 51:16 It's weird.

Greg Fitzsimmons 51:17 No shit.

Joe Rogan 51:18 It's weird. And (clears throat) I'd, I had recognized this, but I was confused by it, and then it was brought up to me by friends that, uh, that are hunting guides in Alberta. My friends, uh, John and Jen, the Rivets, they've got this, uh, guide service. And one of the things they hunt is bears. And bear is delicious, but you have to cook it right, 'cause it... you can get trichinosis. It's like pork.

Greg Fitzsimmons 51:43 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 51:43 Same kind of deal. Um, but they smell, like, their, their guts and, like, when you're butchering them, like, you... They... A lot of times people use what's called the gutless method, which means you, you take all the meat out without opening up the gut cavity. 'Cause if you do get that stuff on you, like, espe- uh, specifically if they've been eating something that's rotten, the smell is horrible. That smell comes out in your farts. And one of their daughters canceled school. She, she stayed home 'cause she was farting so bad.

Greg Fitzsimmons 52:12 Wow.

Joe Rogan 52:12 She was like, "I can't go to school farting like this."

Greg Fitzsimmons 52:15 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 52:16 "I, I will be a pariah." (laughs)

Narrator 52:19 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 52:19 But I've smelt it before.

Greg Fitzsimmons 52:20 She farted and someone's like, "Did you have bear?"

Joe Rogan 52:22 Yeah. Like, if I've, if I've shot a deer in the field and you're, you're... we, we... it's called quartering it, you gut it, you take out the heart and the liver, you eat the heart and the liver, you take out the... you take... quarter it, you take, like, the, the limbs off, you take, like, the legs off and you take the meat off the back, it's called the back straps, and the tenderloins, you take all that stuff out, and then when you fart, you fucking smell that animal in your farts.

Greg Fitzsimmons 52:47 Wow.

Joe Rogan 52:47 And this was addressed actually by my friend Steve Rinella in the show Meat Eater. They were trying to figure out why. Like, they're like, "Okay, this is a real thing, right? Like, everybody talks about this." Like, how is it getting in you? You're smelling it, and then somehow or another, those molecules come out, they go all the way through your body from you smelling it and breathing in that air, and (farts) comes out in your farts, and you smell this horrific, like, gut smell.

Greg Fitzsimmons 53:15 Sounds like a good game show.

Joe Rogan 53:18 (laughs)

Greg Fitzsimmons 53:18 You know, you go into a room and you come out and the contestants have to guess what animal you just quartered.

Joe Rogan 53:22 Lamb. (laughs)

Greg Fitzsimmons 53:25 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 53:26 I wonder if that's the case with... I mean, it must be the case with fish too. Like, you catch a bunch of fish, you gut them, and then you probably smell fish farts when you're farting.

Greg Fitzsimmons 53:34 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 53:34 It probably smell like fish. But the weird thing is, it would make sense if you're eating it, right? If you cooked it and ate it, that would make sense. But this is... I'm telling you, this is farting when you've had none of it yet.

Greg Fitzsimmons 53:45 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 53:45 You haven't eaten any of it, but you fart-

Greg Fitzsimmons 53:48 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 53:48 ... and you smell it.

Greg Fitzsimmons 53:50 I think I fart... I think you fart from getting nervous also. Like, if you're a nervous person, I think you fart a lot.

Joe Rogan 53:57 That makes sense, right? Your gut starts building all the juices and stuff.

Greg Fitzsimmons 54:01 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 54:01 Here it is. Farts can fight strokes, heart attacks, and dementia, scientists claim. (laughs)

Greg Fitzsimmons 54:06 Oh.

Narrator 54:06 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 54:06 That's her farts.

Greg Fitzsimmons 54:06 Fantastic.

Joe Rogan 54:08 That girl, if she farts in your face-

Greg Fitzsimmons 54:09 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 54:09 ... you'll get a heart attack.

Greg Fitzsimmons 54:10 They always get a hot chick in the picture.

Joe Rogan 54:12 A study has proven that farts can help your cells to live. What? What?

Narrator 54:17 Yeah, it's, uh, sulfur... what is it? Hydrogen sulfide?

Joe Rogan 54:21 Hydrogen sulfide-

Narrator 54:21 There you go.

Joe Rogan 54:22 ... is well-known as a pungent, foul-smelling gas in rotten eggs and flatulence. It is naturally produced in the body and could in fact be a healthcare hero with significant implications for future therapies for a variety of diseases. Can you imagine if all those weirdos that pay women to fart in their face, if they're onto something?

Narrator 54:43 (laughs) Yeah, right. (laughs) Right, those women are heroes.

Joe Rogan 54:47 (laughs) Did you hear... Those are the most confusing porn videos where, where-

Greg Fitzsimmons 54:51 I've never seen that.

Joe Rogan 54:52 ... guys are, like, laying there and girls are like, "You like to fart, you dirty bitch?" And they fart in their face. "Yeah, mommy. Give me that fart, mommy." And they fart in their face. Oh, it's so fucking... it's so confusing. It makes me shut my laptop and walk around the block.

Narrator 55:06 (laughs)

Greg Fitzsimmons 55:06 That's fucking great.

Joe Rogan 55:07 I've seen-

Greg Fitzsimmons 55:07 How-

Joe Rogan 55:07 ... a bunch of those.

Greg Fitzsimmons 55:08 But-

Joe Rogan 55:08 You never seen one of those?

Greg Fitzsimmons 55:09 ... no, I've never seen it. I'm just trying to figure out who the first guy was that had the balls to just go... Just like, smelling a fart and going, "I think this is it. I think this my..." You know, for some people-

Joe Rogan 55:21 My dream gal?

Greg Fitzsimmons 55:21 ... it's- it's feet, you know?

Joe Rogan 55:22 Yeah. Right, some people it's farts.

Greg Fitzsimmons 55:24 Wow.

Joe Rogan 55:25 Yeah, that's a thing with guys.

Greg Fitzsimmons 55:27 Farting in the face.

Joe Rogan 55:29 (sighs) Some- some people like a lot of weird shit. Like, I had this girl on the podcast back in the day, and it actually made me sad talking to her. Her name was Sierra Lynch. Remember her? Um, 'cause like, I was like, "What?" Like what are you... She's selling her piss. She sells like toenail clippings, dirty socks, dirty underwear to all these guys. And then she humiliates these guys. They want her to humiliate them, and the- the worse she treats them... She's what... I believe she refers to her- and she's a very smart girl.

Greg Fitzsimmons 55:55 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 55:55 Very pretty too. She refers to herself as a humiliatrix. Like, it's like, that's her business.

Greg Fitzsimmons 56:02 Right.

Joe Rogan 56:02 Like, she bought a fucking house. Like, she's g- she's-

Greg Fitzsimmons 56:05 Wow.

Joe Rogan 56:05 ... she's wealthy because of getting these guys to buy her shit and piss.

Greg Fitzsimmons 56:10 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 56:10 Very strange.

Greg Fitzsimmons 56:11 I think I got a- a new nickname for my wife.

Joe Rogan 56:14 (laughs)

Greg Fitzsimmons 56:15 Huma- (laughs) humiliatrix. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 56:19 Just...

Greg Fitzsimmons 56:19 But I- I met this prostitute in, uh, Lake Tahoe. She- she had come to my show and she was like, "You know, in Nevada, it's- it's all legal." And so she, I go, "What's the weirdest client that you ever had?" And she goes, "Well, I don't know if you're ready for this, but I met this guy and he- he lived in Colorado, and he had been in- in Nevada." Liked her, said, she said she's up for anything. Sends a jet to take her to Colorado.

Joe Rogan 56:48 Oh, Jesus.

Greg Fitzsimmons 56:49 They go to Denver to some five-star hotel, come up to this suite, presidential suite, and they come in and she's like, "I have no idea what this is about." And he goes, "Now, this is gonna be weird, but it's not gonna hurt you."

Joe Rogan 57:02 (exhales)

Greg Fitzsimmons 57:02 "Just go with it."

Joe Rogan 57:03 I think I know where this is going.

Greg Fitzsimmons 57:05 Room service shows up. Guy's got a tray. He's got four plates of hamburger meat, uncooked, just hamburger meat. Tips the guy, he leaves, and he says, "What I want you to do is take this meat, I'm gonna get naked and you're gonna take handfuls of it and shove it up my ass."

Joe Rogan 57:24 (groans) I didn't think it was going there.

Greg Fitzsimmons 57:26 Five pounds of hamburger meat.

Joe Rogan 57:28 Oh!

Greg Fitzsimmons 57:28 And he just stood there and she kept stuffing it up, stuffing it up.

Joe Rogan 57:31 Oh!

Greg Fitzsimmons 57:32 No erection, no sex, no touching her, and then back on the jet.

Joe Rogan 57:39 Thank you.

Greg Fitzsimmons 57:39 Back to Nevada.

Joe Rogan 57:40 So, he's a wealthy guy?

Greg Fitzsimmons 57:42 He paid her a ton of money.

Joe Rogan 57:43 Oh my God.

Greg Fitzsimmons 57:46 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 57:47 Uh, I'm- I'm surprised, but I'm not surprised. Like, if you said, "Would you bet your life that there's a guy out there that sent a private jet to get a prostitute and take her to a nice restaurant and then paid her to stuff hamburger meat up his ass? If you're wrong, you die."

Greg Fitzsimmons 58:04 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 58:04 I'd go, "Yeah, probably happen."

Greg Fitzsimmons 58:06 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 58:09 (laughs) Right?

Greg Fitzsimmons 58:11 Right, a million monkeys typing, you know?

Joe Rogan 58:13 Yeah. I mean, I'm not- I'm not s- I'm- I'm surprised, but I'm not stunned.

Greg Fitzsimmons 58:17 Right.

Joe Rogan 58:17 I'm not like, "No way, I don't believe that."

Greg Fitzsimmons 58:19 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 58:20 I believe it.

Greg Fitzsimmons 58:21 Well, and the- the- v- the funny thing is like, I don't get the sense this guy is on a chat room talking to other guys that stuff ground beef up their asses. This is his thing.

Joe Rogan 58:30 Right. That's his, yeah, that's a personal thing.

Greg Fitzsimmons 58:32 He's got so much fucking money that his mind just goes to places, and he can indulge it. He can just go, "Yeah, I'll try that."

Joe Rogan 58:42 What the fuck? What the fuck, man?

Greg Fitzsimmons 58:43 And talk about getting diseases.

Joe Rogan 58:45 Oh, yeah. Well, there was just an outbreak of, um, is it salmonella? Yeah, from ground beef. I- I think someone died.

Greg Fitzsimmons 58:54 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 58:54 One person died. A few other people have been, uh, it's been, they've been r- recalled.

Greg Fitzsimmons 58:59 Right.

Joe Rogan 59:00 (coughs) Yeah, you could get salmonella anally, for sure. It's raw.

Greg Fitzsimmons 59:04 You gotta tell your doctor.

Joe Rogan 59:05 Fucking A. What happened? Well-

Greg Fitzsimmons 59:07 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 59:08 ... have a seat. Let's start from the beginning.

Greg Fitzsimmons 59:12 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 59:12 When I was a boy, first time started getting hard-ons, I sat on a cheeseburger.

Greg Fitzsimmons 59:18 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 59:18 And, uh... He said, "Do you think these guys exist? If I shove solid food up my butt, would I gain any nutrition from it?" (laughs)

Greg Fitzsimmons 59:27 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 59:28 First of all, here's the thing, he's answered by Andrew Lee, Doctor of Acupuncture. Hey, fuck face, you didn't go to medical school. Stop calling yourself a doctor.

Narrator 59:37 Oh.

Joe Rogan 59:37 Doctor of Acupuncture is so weird. It's like, I'm a doctor of comedy.

Greg Fitzsimmons 59:41 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 59:41 Like, you know what I mean?

Greg Fitzsimmons 59:42 Right.

Joe Rogan 59:43 You- you're- you practice acupuncture, you're not a doctor. They don't go to medical school. Did you know that?

Greg Fitzsimmons 59:48 I didn't know that.

Joe Rogan 59:49 Doctors are doctors.

Greg Fitzsimmons 59:51 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 59:51 A doctor goes to a medical school.

Greg Fitzsimmons 59:53 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 59:53 It's hard. You have to study. You have to do your residency. You have to get your fucking degree at a medical school, not chiropractors. They call themselves doctors-

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:00:05 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:00:05 ... but they don't go to medical school at all.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:00:07 Right, right.

Joe Rogan 1:00:08 At all.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:00:09 And they can fuck you up.

Joe Rogan 1:00:10 Oh!

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:00:10 They do those cracks on your neck.

Joe Rogan 1:00:12 Pull that up so we can read that.

Narrator 1:00:13 Oh, oh, shit.

Joe Rogan 1:00:16 So, answer is, "Things can be absorbed through the membrane. Through membrane..." What? See, this is how-

Narrator 1:00:23 No, no, no, it's not really the answer I was just showing you. That's, people have asked this and-

Joe Rogan 1:00:26 No, I'm- I'm saying, but listen to the way he writes the answer.

Narrator 1:00:29 Oh.

Joe Rogan 1:00:29 This is how a chiropractor writes it versus a re- a real doctor. "Things that can be absorbed through membrane will bypass the liver when taken through the anus." When taken through the anus. Through membrane will bypass the liver. (clears throat) Through a membrane? Okay, "For example, various drugs can be taken as through the anus in order to be easier on the liver." See, this is how chiropractors write.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:00:54 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:00:54 See? See how he's writing? This is not a guy who went to medical school.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:00:57 No.

Joe Rogan 1:00:57 "As the liver no longer needs to filter the drug, which makes the drug half as potent, and is also hard on the liver."

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:01:06 This guy's Asian.

Joe Rogan 1:01:08 How do you know that?

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:01:08 What's his name?

Joe Rogan 1:01:09 Andrew Lee.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:01:10 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:01:10 (sighs)

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:01:11 I- I did not know his name when I said he's Asian.

Joe Rogan 1:01:13 You didn't know. You didn't know.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:01:14 I could tell by the way he was writing.

Joe Rogan 1:01:15 Alcohol can cross the cell membrane and thus absorbs very easily into the human body. Oh, how about this? My friend, his wife is a school teacher in Utah and, uh, they have a problem in middle school 'cause kids are taking tampons and they're soaking them in rubbing alcohol and stuffing them up their assholes and they're getting high.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:01:39 Really?

Joe Rogan 1:01:40 Yes. Yes.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:01:42 Whoa!

Joe Rogan 1:01:42 One kid found out about it and a bunch of other kids did it and so they had a problem in their fucking school. (laughs)

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:01:51 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:01:51 Where kids were putting tampons, dipping them in rubbing alcohol-

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:01:56 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:01:56 ... and stuffing them up their butt.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:01:57 (sighs)

Joe Rogan 1:01:59 Shout out to my friend, Huey.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:02:01 And by the way, I don't know how many millions of listeners you have. How many people are now gonna do that?

Joe Rogan 1:02:06 A lot. 40.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:02:07 40?

Joe Rogan 1:02:07 40, 40 people.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:02:08 Yeah, 40.

Narrator 1:02:08 It's been going on for a while.

Joe Rogan 1:02:09 Yeah, apparently. I didn't know about it until three weeks ago. (laughs)

Narrator 1:02:13 Oh, right. (laughs)

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:02:14 I bet it feels good.

Joe Rogan 1:02:16 Um-

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:02:17 Nice and cool.

Joe Rogan 1:02:17 Define feels good. (laughs)

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:02:19 Does it tingle a little bit, you know?

Joe Rogan 1:02:21 Yeah, what if you got a hemorrhoid though? Yikes!

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:02:24 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:02:24 (screams) I'm sure people like that. There's, I'm sure there's people that cut themselves and pour alcohol on it just to feel a sting.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:02:32 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:02:32 (screams) I'm a piece of shit.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:02:36 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:02:36 Cut. (screams)

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:02:37 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:02:38 Oh. Ooh.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:02:38 Right, the definition of a drunk asshole.

Joe Rogan 1:02:41 (grunts)

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:02:43 (laughs)

Narrator 1:02:43 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:02:46 (claps)

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:02:48 Don't be a drunk asshole.

Joe Rogan 1:02:50 Especially when you're 12.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:02:52 Right, right.

Joe Rogan 1:02:52 (laughs) You're fucking middle school.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:02:53 Well, they're fucking Mormons probably-

Joe Rogan 1:02:55 Oh.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:02:55 ... so they just, they're so desperate.

Joe Rogan 1:02:57 Ooh, that's a good point. Maybe. Yeah, we're talking Utah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:03:00 Wasn't, remember, remember Kitty Dukakis?

Joe Rogan 1:03:02 Yes, rubbing alcohol.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:03:02 She was sober and she-

Joe Rogan 1:03:04 She was drinking, uh, aftershave, right? Wasn't it? Something like that?

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:03:06 Yeah, aftershave, isopropyl. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:03:09 That sunk his pre- well, he kind of was on the way out anyway.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:03:12 It was that and when he sat on a tank with a helmet on.

Joe Rogan 1:03:15 Yeah, yeah, that was... And people were like, "What? Are you a soldier? Are you in war? Why do you have a helmet?"

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:03:20 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:03:21 We're not even at war, you piece of shit.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:03:22 Right, right.

Joe Rogan 1:03:23 (sighs) Mike Dukakis, remember him?

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:03:26 He was like... Who did he run against?

Joe Rogan 1:03:29 I wanna say Bush Sr., was it?

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:03:32 Bush, Bush Sr. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:03:32 Yeah. Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:03:34 I think that was a landslide.

Joe Rogan 1:03:36 Yeah, people weren't down with that. It's interesting how some things sink some people, like that Howard Dover guy has gotta be so fucking confused that Donald Trump got away with that grab him by the pussy thing when all he did was scream. Remember that guy?

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:03:50 Oh, yeah.

Narrator 1:03:51 That was Dean, Dean.

Joe Rogan 1:03:51 Oh yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:03:51 "We're gonna, we're going to Arkansas-

Joe Rogan 1:03:53 Yeah, that's right.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:03:53 ... and then we're going to Detroit."

Joe Rogan 1:03:55 (screams)

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:03:55 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:03:55 There he is.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:03:56 I know.

Joe Rogan 1:03:56 Mike Dukakis.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:03:57 It sunk him.

Joe Rogan 1:03:58 Sunk him.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:03:59 Fuck.

Joe Rogan 1:04:01 Like, he had his, his helmet with the fucking sticker on it, that probably sunk him too.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:04:05 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:04:05 Why does it say H- Mike Dukakis on your helmet, bro? Are you gonna go fight for our country? Get outta here, son. Look at him now. Look, you see the picture of him now, hammered.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:04:14 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:04:14 Look at him. He's probably, "I was almost president." Go to the one picture above that with the red face, look at that. "I was almost fucking president." That guy is like, if we did a gig for Dick Doherty in New Hampshire-

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:04:24 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:04:25 ... if you had (laughs) -

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:04:25 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:04:27 ... that guy would be at the bar, "Hey, you fucking guys are funny, but you know what? I was almost president."

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:04:32 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:04:32 "I was almost president, my, my wife, my fucking wife, she's just drinking rubbing alcohol and this, uh, aftershave. You know aftershave? Fucking, this shit is Aqua Velva. My fucking wife's drinking Aqua Velva."

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:04:45 It's fucking sunk me. Bitch sunk me.

Joe Rogan 1:04:48 He had a thick head of hair though.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:04:49 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:04:50 Oof.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:04:51 Was he the governor?

Joe Rogan 1:04:53 Uh, I believe he was.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:04:54 Yeah, he was the governor.

Joe Rogan 1:04:55 I believe he was the governor of Massachusetts.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:04:55 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:04:56 Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:04:57 Right.

Joe Rogan 1:04:57 Who's the governor of Massachusetts now?

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:04:59 Weld?

Joe Rogan 1:05:00 Is it Weld?

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:05:01 Or maybe, that may be a while ago.

Joe Rogan 1:05:01 Bill Weld, he's a Republican, right?

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:05:04 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:05:04 That's unusual, right? They've had, we've had a couple of Massachusetts, uh, Republicans like, uh, Fuckface, the, uh, Mormon. What's his name?

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:05:13 Um, uh, Romney?

Joe Rogan 1:05:15 Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:05:16 Mitt Romney?

Joe Rogan 1:05:16 Mitt Romney. Fuckface. Charlie Baker, Republican. He's a Republican too.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:05:21 Hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:05:21 That's interesting.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:05:22 That is interesting.

Joe Rogan 1:05:23 (coughs)

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:05:23 Well, you were talking about Texas and Austin.

Joe Rogan 1:05:26 Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:05:26 And Massachusetts is a Republican state. Boston is a Democratic city.

Joe Rogan 1:05:31 Hmm.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:05:31 But it's such a big part of the state that it's like what Austin is to Texas and also like Minneapolis to Minnesota.

Joe Rogan 1:05:38 Yeah, I guess so, huh? Like where would you think the Republicans are in Massachusetts? Everywhere outside of Boston?

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:05:45 Um, well, I think it's a lot of defense contracts. There's a lot of defense money there and, uh-

Joe Rogan 1:05:50 Boston Dynamics, right?

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:05:52 Right.

Joe Rogan 1:05:52 I got tricked.

Narrator 1:05:53 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:05:53 They tricked me.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:05:54 They did?

Joe Rogan 1:05:55 The s- I posted one, a video, it's Bosstown Dynamics. They wrote B-O-S-S-T-O-U- Dynamics.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:06:00 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:06:00 And it was a video of like, uh, robots shooting guns and they were kicking the robots and it's hitting these targets perfectly every time. I'm like, "Oh my God, we're fucked." But the thing is, it's not that far removed from what the Boston Dynamics' robots already do. Those fucking robots are already doing backflips.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:06:16 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:06:16 They do backflips.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:06:17 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:06:18 They, they do like parkour. They, they run and jump off things and hang on things. And then this one was a fake video though. Was it CGI? I think.

Narrator 1:06:27 Yeah, no, yeah, those guys have, that's what they do on their YouTube channel. It's amazing.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:06:29 How do you trust anything anymore? Jesus Christ.

Joe Rogan 1:06:31 Well, we're pretty close to not being able to trust anything anymore.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:06:34 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:06:35 Because with, uh, those, those, uh, deep fake generators-

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:06:39 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:06:40 ... where they can take you, like they've already done videos with me where, um, they have audio of me saying shit that I would say.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:06:47 Right.

Joe Rogan 1:06:47 Like a bunch of shit that I would say, but I never said it.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:06:50 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 1:06:50 About like chimp armies and all these different things.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:06:53 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:06:54 (clears throat) Yeah, there's a, the whole website dedicated to that. It's just weird, man.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:06:59 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:06:59 And it's gonna get weirder and weirder with the, the stuff that they can do with your... You've, you've seen Kyle, um, Kyle-

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:07:04 Downigan.

Joe Rogan 1:07:04 ... Downigan's-

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:07:05 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:07:05 ... fucking page.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:07:05 Yeah, that crazy-

Joe Rogan 1:07:06 Oh my God. Oh my God. And his, the stuff that he does that's my favorite that's really, really funny is the stuff that looks fake. It's like he does the face swap shit from like the Instagram filters or-

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:07:18 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 1:07:18 ... Snapchat or whatever it is. But he did a bunch of stuff 'cause he was doing a pilot for Comedy Central and thank God they're too fucking stupid to pick it up 'cause they would've ruined it, 'cause he was showing me one that they wouldn't do. It was, uh, Caitlyn Jenner having sex with Trump. He was showing it to me. I was crying. I was in the green room crying.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:07:35 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:07:35 He goes, "Yeah, Comedy Central said no to that one." I went, "What?"

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:07:38 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:07:39 I was like, "What?"... they're like, "No it was too," he said, "It was too edgy."

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:07:41 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:07:41 They wouldn't get involved with anything trans, you know?

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:07:44 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right, right, right.

Joe Rogan 1:07:45 Like, come on.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:07:45 That's why I was shocked that on the roast that, that she came out and said the shit that she did. That was like, that was pr- excuse the pun, but that was ballsy.

Joe Rogan 1:07:53 What did she say?

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:07:54 S-

Joe Rogan 1:07:54 I think she still has her balls.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:07:56 She said-

Joe Rogan 1:07:56 She said she still has her dick too.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:07:57 Oh, really?

Joe Rogan 1:07:58 Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:07:59 Um, what did she s- she came out and said, uh-

Joe Rogan 1:08:03 I love that expression, "She has her dick."

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:08:05 Yeah, I can't remember.

Joe Rogan 1:08:05 Welcome to 2019.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:08:07 Yeah. But Dunnigan, I did a show with him on Saturday night, and he came out on stage and he put, he put a laptop in front of his face and there was a big screen. And he was doing the characters for the crowd that he usually does, like, as Instagram posts.

Joe Rogan 1:08:21 Hmm. Oh, yeah, I've heard he does that.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:08:22 Yeah, it was great.

Joe Rogan 1:08:23 (clears throat) How does he do that? He just has the video plays?

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:08:27 Um, I guess the computer is videotaping him and sending it... I, I know it ran through the house, through something in the house system 'cause it was a fuck up. It got fucked up.

Joe Rogan 1:08:39 Oh.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:08:39 But it still worked.

Joe Rogan 1:08:41 Because he was, (coughs) we were doing a, a gig at the store on a Friday night, and he was supposed to be on right before me. But they were like, "Actually, let's have Kyle go on after you," because apparently his whole thing needs a big setup. Confirms gender reassignment s- s- s-study. What?

Narrator 1:09:02 Yeah. Well...

Joe Rogan 1:09:03 Um, uh, s- she confirms gender re- hold on, put that back up. (clears throat) It says, "Caitlyn Jenner confirms gender reassignment surgery in 2020" interview. Okay. But the problem is, she just did an interview recently. She said she still has it.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:09:15 Hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:09:15 What is gender reassignment surgery? They fucking wave a wand over you like a, like they knight you? "I hereby announce you have a vagina." "I have a vagina?" "Yes."

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:09:27 "Arise." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:09:28 "You now have a vagina." "Okay." I mean, look, if you can just-

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:09:31 And they're tapping you on the head with your penis.

Joe Rogan 1:09:33 If you're clearly a man and you could just say you're a woman, why can't you say you have a vagina?

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:09:37 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:09:37 W- we're gonna play make believe, let's just play make believe all the way.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:09:40 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:09:40 Fuck it.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:09:41 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:09:41 Because, look, my friend Zuby, he was a guest on the podcast, he, uh, claimed he was a woman for a day and broke the women's world record in deadlift.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:09:51 What did he have to do to qualify as a woman?

Joe Rogan 1:09:53 Nothing. You don't have to do anything.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:09:53 You just say it.

Joe Rogan 1:09:55 You just identify.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:09:55 Oh.

Joe Rogan 1:09:55 You can identify as a woman.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:09:57 Yeah. Wasn't-

Joe Rogan 1:09:59 I mean, who are you to say that he didn't identify as a woman, you fucking transphobic piece of shit?

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:10:04 I know, I feel bad now.

Joe Rogan 1:10:05 You should. Jesus Christ, Greg.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:10:07 I just...

Joe Rogan 1:10:07 All these years we've known each other-

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:10:08 I just feel like-

Joe Rogan 1:10:09 ... I can't believe I didn't know that you had this in you.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:10:12 It's, it's just my childhood, I think I was-

Joe Rogan 1:10:13 I think you're canceled.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:10:14 (laughs) I'm canceled?

Joe Rogan 1:10:17 (laughs)

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:10:17 (laughs) I wish I was can- I wish I was big enough to get canceled.

Joe Rogan 1:10:19 (laughs)

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:10:19 I gotta get a little bit more famous.

Joe Rogan 1:10:21 And then it can happen.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:10:22 Yeah. I'm more like me who?

Joe Rogan 1:10:26 (laughs)

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:10:27 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:10:27 That was like a Tony Hinchcliffe joke. That was such a pun.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:10:32 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:10:33 (laughs) Oh, oh God.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:10:34 Now, I think, uh...

Joe Rogan 1:10:36 Pull up, I think that Caitlyn Jenner still has his dick, her dick, sorry.

Narrator 1:10:39 (laughs)

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:10:39 Was there a fight with the guy that, uh, that became a woman and then beat the shit out of the woman?

Joe Rogan 1:10:45 Um, you mean MMA?

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:10:46 I don't know if it was boxing or MMA.

Joe Rogan 1:10:47 Yes. It was in MMA. Yeah, it was, yeah, she had a few fights. The problem was not that she had the fights (clears throat) , which, um, I would never advise anybody to fight someone who used to be a man. I would say, ooh, probably got a lot of physical advantages-

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:11:01 Hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:11:01 ... that's not gonna show up in the weight class. Like, just 'cause you're both 135 pounds, there's a fucking difference. I don't give a f- a shit what anybody says. There's a reason why this woman world champion cyclist is breaking records, why women deadlift, uh, uh, these, these women weightlifters who used to be men are breaking records. Like, by giant numbers.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:11:21 Hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:11:22 I mean, giant numbers in powerlifting. And they, all they have to do is just say they used to be a man and now I'm a woman.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:11:27 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:11:27 This is it. "Oh, she's a woman." You, you're a piece of shit if you say anything different.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:11:31 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:11:31 Um, there's just... But this one was fighting, uh, her name's Fallon Fox, and she was fighting as a woman even though she'd been a man for 30 plus years. And in fact, even had kids, had a kid, and then just transitioned, became a woman, didn't tell anybody. Said it was a medical issue, it's none of your business, and then beat the fuck out of two women. And like, beat them like domestic violence. Like, you watch it, you're like, "What?"

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:11:56 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:11:57 Then she came out and then it was like this big hubub. I got caught up in it because I said it was nonsense. I said it was, I said it was worse than nonsense. I'm just like, "It's bullshit. It's 100% bullshit." And I never, never been attacked harder online.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:12:09 Oh, oh, I shouldn't have brought it up. I didn't realize.

Joe Rogan 1:12:11 Or, no, I don't care.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:12:12 Hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:12:12 It's fine. I, look, I fuck- that's a hill I'll die on.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:12:15 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:12:15 That's a hill I'll die on. Like, you guys are out of your fucking mind. I- I- I think you're out of your mind with track and field, I think you're out of your mind with weightlifting, you're out of your mind with all those things.